OUTSIDE from FEEDBACKthe

As a freshman in 2020, our student-led ensemble had been playing together for only a few months before we went to the Elon Jazz Festival [at Elon University]. I remember we were in a big theater–me, a saxophonist, a pianist, a bassist, and a vibraphonist. We played three songs, and afterwards, the judges gave us feedback for about 30 minutes and a number score. We were beginners, and the professional musicians gave us an earful. They weren’t mean; they were just honest. I was one measure late on my entrance to the song “Tenderly,” and I assumed they wouldn’t pick up on it. But they knew immediately and called me out on it during the feedback session. Obviously, it wasn’t a pleasant experience. It hurt in the moment. Back then, I felt dispirited and almost dejected.

Now, I’m more thick-skinned to some extent, but I’m also more eager to get feedback. When we went to Orlando in January, we had the same format and we’d obviously improved a lot in the past few years. But I was happy to hear from the judges and really want to incorporate their feedback into my playing.

Having that kind of critique no doubt has helped me grow. Continuing to stay where I am as a person or a musician means I’m not evolving. Now, I understand that there’s nothing that compares to the general thrill I get when I compete and play at the utmost edge of my ability.