Gentleman's Purpose - December 2021 Edition

Season’s Greetings, Page 10 The Absence of Fondness, Page 18

So Many Ways To Celebrate, Page 24

December 2021

Restaurant Review: “The Garlic”, New Smyrna Beach, FL, Page 36 Gear For The Holiday Travel Season, Page 52

Discover America Tour: Mission Completed, Pg. 62

Gentleman’s Purpose Articles

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FAITH

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Seasons Greetings Written by Justin Gaynor

Emerging from a wonderful Thanksgiving season, we launch into a season of expectancy in the midst of very real darkness. To really get the full effect of the holiday season, it would do us good to consider the context and conditions leading to the miracles of Chanukkah and of Christmas, and what it means for us to step out of 2021 and into a brand-new year. This is, after all, the faith section of the magazine. Exercising faith means trusting through all of the cold, dark nights and seasons and into a new, and more glorious future. The future that God has promised us. The future we can look forward to with absolute assurance.

The back story of Chanukkah is very Jewish and very Christian. It is a festival that is mentioned in the New Testament Scriptures, so it is a holiday likely celebrated by Jesus and all the early Jewish disciples. It looks back to the abusive, megalomaniac, Antiochus Epiphanes and how he was oppressing the Jewish people, defiling their Temple, torturing, and murdering on a whim. It was a very, very dark time. Then suddenly God raised up a Jewish family, the Maccabees, who took a stand in faith. God rewarded their faith with an astonishing victory and accompanied the military victory with signs and wonders, such as miraculously multiplying the oil reserves to keep the flames burning bright in God’s sanctuary. So, Chanukkah is known as the festival of lights.

Sometime later, as the Jewish people continued to experience a form of exile within their own homeland, oppressed by Roman occupying forces, a new and exciting fulfillment of God’s promises burst onto the scene. Just in time for the beginning of the 7th in a series of 7 generations, a mega-jubilee was going to be inaugurated as God, who had been silent for around 400 years, would suddenly return to His Temple in all of His fulness as a poor, but wise Jewish Rabbi named Jesus of Nazareth. The long-awaited Messiah of Israel. So, today, Messiah-people, or Christians, as we are commonly referred to as, consider the Parousia of Messiah. We look both at its historical context with the miraculous birth, astonishing life, brutal and humiliating crucifixion, powerful resurrection, and glorious ascension to the throne of heaven, as well as the promised future Parousia (that word means “appearing” and “personal presence”). The return of Israel’s Messiah to judge the earth with perfect justice and mercy.

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As if all of this wasn’t enough, then we look back at the last year of our lives here in this present time and consider all that we accomplished, and failed to accomplish. Then we celebrate another year lived here on planet earth, we make commitments to change and be transformed in certain ways, we set new goals, we move forward into an unknown future, hopeful and full of faith.

This truly is the most wonderful time of year!

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Relationships

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The Absence of Fondness Written by Justin Gaynor

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. It may be because all of the little annoyances and negative experiences we have with an individual that we generally like, tend to fade and be overtaken by our fond memories of them. What about those people in our sphere that we aren’t generally fond of? Is it our default to seek for the positive aspects of their presence and character in our remembrances of them? Do we simply, and gladly, forget that they were ever a part of our lives?

In this adventure of life, we are called, gentlemen, to be eager to maintain the unity that the Holy Spirit gives, in the bond of peace. That means that every human we interact with is important and that there is some value to be gained in all our relationships. Though some can certainly be more challenging than others, this whole “cancel culture” is simply not something that can be assimilated into Christian culture. The whole concept stands in direct opposition to Jesus’ prayer that we would all be one, even as He and the Father are one.

So, how can we overcome our lack of fondness for certain individuals? Well, the first thing to do is to acknowledge that you are not going to be engaging with the other individual based on their behavior. We love others because while we were enemies of God, His Son still willingly died for us that we might become both friends with God and His adopted children. That is just how unconditional love works. It has no conditions.

The next thing to do is to be intentional about connecting with them. Look for and cherish tender feelings towards them. The more you learn someone’s story, hear of their hardships, and triumphs, the more we tend to grow in our compassion, and with compassion comes fondness. As with all things, having a plan and goals for the relationship can be helpful. Don’t sweep the difficult stuff under the rug. If you have been intentional about genuinely loving the other person, there will be a right time for you to have an honest conversation with them about those aspects of their character or behavior that grate on your nerves…or you may simply begin to see their “imperfections” as a unique aspect of who they are. Like an acquired taste. You may grow to appreciate what you once hated.

Finally, and most importantly, pray fervently for them. I cannot encourage this enough.

The more you pray heartfelt prayers for people, the more that will be revealed about both them and you. Let grace and truth have their perfect way in our life together.

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Style

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So Many Ways To Celebrate!

Written by Justin Gaynor While the holidays are meant to unite people around some important event or person in history, often times how we choose to express our reverence or thankfulness can be very different. Traditions emerge that try to hold us together in the common symbols and activities that conjure up similar thoughts and emotions. However, traditions can fail us and cease to produce the good fruit we are looking for in these activities. Personally, I have gone through varying seasons and approaches to celebrating the holidays. Let’s take a look at some of the common ways we like to celebrate!

Party Hearty!

The holidays are often seated in our hearts as times of great feasting. Food is abundant and diverse, wine, beer, and strong drink flow freely and everyone seems to let their hair down. This is not foreign to what we see in Scripture. As a matter of fact, this style of celebration was one of the main ways that “tithing” worked in the Old Testament. God told people to bring their full tithe in so that there would be “bread” in his house. He instructed the people to buy whatever their hearts desired! Whether it was beef or lamb, wine or liquor, and bring it to a place appointed by God for a huge party. They were only instructed to make sure there was plenty to share with the priests, and others on the fringes like widows and whatnot. Of course, in the modern age, where we move around in huge metal machines weighing thousands of pounds, I need to remind and strongly encourage you that if you do choose to consume adult beverages during the holidays, please do so responsibly.

Rigidly Religious Often times, our style of celebration can be laser focused on a series of very specific activities. Set the Christmas budget. Do not exceed it. Each person opens one present on Christmas eve. We wake up Christmas morning promptly at 7 am and read St. Luke’s account of the birth of Jesus. Then we have breakfast casserole that was made the previous day and just needs to be thrown in the oven. We make the coffee and each person opens one present per hour until all the presents have been opened. Once this is complete, we travel to grandma and grandpa’s house for dinner and to discuss our joy or dismay at the stuff we got for Christmas. Every year. Year in and year out.

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The familiarity of it all, the rhythm has become second nature, and there is divine comfort in the whole dance. For us, a unified system of exercises based on common values and beliefs expresses our understanding of faithfulness and assurance during the holidays.

Deeply Spiritual For some, the holiday season is about deep meditation on the difficulties and troubles we face as individuals and that our world currently faces. Our hope is excited and fanned into flame when we consider the moments of triumph that have occurred in the past after long seasons of darkness. We attempt to experience the “dark night of the soul” as John of the Cross once called it, so that we can more fully appreciate the Advent of the Savior.

Those with this celebratory style often seek individual and group times of prayer.

The enjoyment of great storytelling and the acting out of the driving narratives of the holiday inform their thoughts and imaginations, fueling their inward man for dreams and visions that will reveal to them what all these things mean for them and how they are to live. The whole thing really becomes about communing with the divine and the divine that has made His home within fellow humans.

What Holiday?

Some have come to see such celebrations as a waste of resources and an abuse of utilitarian dignity. Many in this camp have taken an atheistic stance, or perhaps one of pragmatic agnosticism. Their way of celebrating is to think on the meaninglessness of it all. Sadly, it will be to them as they have believed…unless, they can be invited into a new experience of wonder and meaning. May God grant such mercies this season.

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Business

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To Build a Champion Written by Justin Gaynor

The opportunity and challenge of building things is in our DNA gentlemen. When it comes to building up human beings and communities it is nothing less than a participation with the divine. When we learn valuable lessons, whether from relationships, books, movies, classes, or wherever, we should not allow the good stuff to remain with us. Good instruction is like good seed, it should grow and produce in your life, but within that good fruit is more of the same seed that is useful to others. One way that I have found to be able to share wisdom and experience in a profitable way is through mentoring relationships. Getting involved in a mentoring relationship is easy and there are some basic steps you can take to improve the value of the mentorship.

First, you want to look for mentoring opportunities that align with your education, experience, and passion. Mentoring relationships are one of the best ways to take the most awful seasons of your life and make sure they are worked together for your good, and the good of others. Consider the Apostle Peter. Jesus told him that his Adversary had requested permission to sift him as wheat. Once Peter emerged on the other side of that sifting, Jesus instructed him to then turn round and strengthen his brothers. Let me give you an example. Let’s say you were one of the top baseball players at your university, perhaps destined for the majors. Then you got into a bad car accident that prevented you from rising to that level of the game. You might volunteer as a baseball coach on a city league or at the YMCA. Coaching at this level is about so much more than just the game being played. You would want to share not only your expertise in the sport with those youngsters, but also how your love of the game felt. Share about the loss of the future you were hoping for and how you overcame the emotional and physical trauma of the accident. Encourage them with the story of your comeback as a leader in business and as a public servant. If you are more than an overcomer, then help build and strengthen those that are coming up behind you, so that they can be prepared for whatever difficulties they are going to have to face.

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Next, once you have plugged into the right mentoring relationship, make sure to get started on the right foot. Talking with your mentee, or mentees, about their expectations of the relationship up front helps to eliminate miscommunications.

Write down the mission you and your mentee are on. Think and talk through with them what the accomplishment of the mission will look like and write a vision statement. Then set short-term and long-term goals for the relationship. In the mentoring relationships I engage in we use the SMART acronym for our goal setting. Each goal should be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely.

This makes it much easier to know where you are on your journey, and to stay on the right path. In all of this, for both you and your mentee, you need to let your yes be yes, and your no be no. None of us knows what a day may bring, so Lord willing, your mentoring relationship will accomplish what you envision.

Finally, you will want to make sure that you take time to celebrate and enjoy progress and accomplishments along the way. When goals are met on time, when the mentee hits one out of the park using some skill or bit of wisdom that you worked on together, these are times to rejoice. It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate, but it should be memorable, and it should strengthen the bond between mentor and mentee. One thing to mention, make sure that stated goals are fully met before celebrating them. The truth is, sometimes failure occurs. When it does, you need to help the mentee call it what it is, evaluate the situation, and try again with a little more experience and wisdom under your belts. Then when you do succeed at attaining to a stated goal, on time, the celebration will carry a value with it that would not be there if you always went out for ice cream regardless of whether you won or lost the game.

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Dining

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THE GARLIC 556 E. 3rd Ave., New Smyrna Beach, FL 32169 Review by Justin Gaynor

When a restaurant has a reputation that precedes it, I am always afraid that my expectations will be too high when I take my seat at the table. I can say that any expectations that I had in my mind about “The Garlic” in New Smyrna Beach were far exceeded before I even made it to my table. When I arrived, I found that I was a little early. They don’t open until 4pm, at least on Tuesdays. However, the staff was exceptionally helpful in allowing me to wander around and take it all in before the crowds arrived. The atmosphere and décor are like something out of a fairy tale and the food ended up is just as magical. Would the initial kindness of the staff be a foreshadowing of how well I would be taken care of while dining? We shall see…

After strolling around in a local surf shop and checking out Heath’s Organic Market next door, it came time to enjoy my early supper at “The Garlic”. As I walked up to the entrance, I was greeted by three very sweet young ladies, dressed all in black as is common for Italian restaurants. One of the gals led me through this long, covered walkway that was like an enchanted forest with twinkling white Christmas lights all throughout. She went to seat me at a high-top with two chairs.

It was still early and they had not filled up with diners yet, so I asked if it would be a problem for me to sit in a booth. She was happy to accommodate me. Then came the fun. I got to meet Morgan.

My server arrived. Morgan is a thin young man that sounded like he just stepped out of a Bruce Brown surf flick. He handed me an uncooked lasagna noodle with all the day’s specials written on it. I have to say, that was unique, and whimsical…which went well with the overall atmosphere. Morgan was quick with a joke, very witty, and knowledgeable. It turns out that he had worked in the kitchen at “The Garlic” for five years before moving up front to serve. There’s a lot more money in waiting tables than in cooking, especially these days with food prices as high as they are. Working on a percentage has its advantages when the average ticket is probably somewhere between $35 and $75 per person, very reasonable for the level of food quality, service, location, and facilities. “The Garlic” is very much a fine dining experience. Certainly a restaurant that I will always remember fondly.

I’ve never been anywhere quite like it.

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Morgan shared with me a little about the establishment and the restaurant’s owner. Then, I turned my attention to the menu. They are known for food from their “Forno” (that word means “The Oven”). The Forno gets up to 800 degrees Fahrenheit. Some examples are a hand cut fresh salmon filet roasted on a cedar plank or 32oz. bone in ribeye basted in herb butter. As I was reading through the menu Morgan appeared with a huge piece of fresh bread and a chunk of garlic the size of a baseball that had been roasted in the Forno. He smashed the garlic with a fork, drizzled it with some olive oil, and balsamic, cracked another joke and then he was off, allowing me to enjoy this little pre-game snack. It was delicious.

For my entrée, I decided to go with the chicken parmesan atop a bed of pasta and a glass of Sebastiani Cabernet Sauvignon. Through the entire dining experience Morgan was attentive and had a refreshing presence. Product knowledge is important, and he was on top of his game. My meal arrived right on time as I finished my house salad and snacked on a little more bread. It was piping hot, a perfect portion, and very well presented. It is good to know that we have such an amazing dining experience available right here in New Smyrna Beach. It exceeded my expectations in every category.

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Books

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Recommended A Library For December 2021

Get to know the roots of Channukah when you read and consider the five books of the Maccabees.

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Additions To Your 1: Essential Holiday Classics

Open up this commentary on the Gospel according to Luke to get to the heart of Christmas and the hope of the Ressurrection you read about in Maccabees, fulfilled in the Messiah of Israel.

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Recommended A Library For December 2021

Dietrich Bonhoeffer was a Christian pastor executed by the Nazi regime when it was discovered that he was involved in a plot to assassinate Adolf Hitler. Consider his reflections on the season of Christmas.

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Additions To Your 1: Essential Holiday Classics

As we celebrate not only certain events, but the future that those events inform and make possible, this is a great series of meditations on those most precious of gifts available to everyone willing to receive.

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Music

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TheWildCard Band Daytona Beach

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Gear

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The Holiday Travel

Whether you are traveling by plane, train, o

Doesn’t matter where you are traveling to you should have a first aid kit. One in every car and I keep one in my pack as well. One of my college buddies had his wife go into labor while driving on I-95 with no time to get her to the hospital. With no medical training, he delivered the baby right there on the side of the road. You never know, be prepared when traveling.

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Season is Upon Us!

or automobile...having the right gear matters.

Having a battery go dead on you or a tire that is low on air in a clutch situation sucks. I had a tire blow out on me recently and it had been so long without a problem, the spare had leaked all the air pressure out. By the grace of God, I had one of these in my trunk. Also, if you don’t know how to change a tire...learn. This week, go practice on your car after dark. Seriously.

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Be The Guy That

Having an inverter like this in your car comes in real handy. It converts your car battery’s 12 volt power to 110 volts. So, you can charge laptops, plug in and trim your beard, and anything else that requires normal 110 volt power. One this size can easily fit right in your glovebox or console.

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t’s Always Ready.

A Christian missionary once told me that every Christian should have a bag packed and ready to go whenever and wherever God calls him to go. Nobody likes talking to stinky Christian missionaries. Good hygiene is important, always. So, get you one of these TSA compliant kits and keep it in your travel bag.

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Magazine? friends and family!

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Travel

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Setting up camp near Clark’s Trading Post in Lincoln, NH circa Spring of 2021. My journey to discover America has taken me to a lot of amazing places, to meet a lot of really great people. Here at my final destination I had an opportunity to spend some one on one time with my Uncle Dave. I hadn’t seen Uncle Dave since I was just a boy. We had gone hiking up to see the Old Man of The Mountain. He’s not there anymore. Even some of the greatest landmarks are only temporary.

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The land in New Hampshire is some of the most beautiful that I have ever seen. This was a stream that I came across as I was traveling from Keene, NH to Lincoln, NH. Live free or die!

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One of the goals of my journey was to deliver some things that belonged to my friends Ray and Claudia. They are the owners of American Innovative Printing, one of my previous clients. They moved up to Keene, NH a few months ago and left a few things behind. I had such a feeling of accomplishment when I arrived and had a chance to visit with them, take a tour of their new home, and...of course, deliver their stuff to them. This photo was taken in the beautiful downtown area of Keene, NH.

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My final siteseeing excursions of the Gentleman’s Purpose Discover America Tour: East Coast Exploration included this absolutely pristine natural area and a memorial commemorating soldiers from Haverhill, NH that had fought in the war for the union.

What an awe inspiring journey! Thank you Jesus!

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