Gentleman's Purpose eMagazine - January 2023

The Courage of Transparency Page 18

FAITH: A Journey of Covenant Faithfulness Pg. 10 STYLE: GO Paint the World Pg. 26

BUSINESS: Implementation & Evaluation Pg. 32

JANUARY 2023

Gentleman’s Purpose Articles

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FAITH

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A Journey of Covenant Faithfulness Written by Justin Neil Gaynor

As we begin a New Year, gentlemen, it is good to reflect on where we have come from and look forward to where we are going. May I suggest beginning in the beginning with a commitment to read through the Holy Scriptures this year. From the primordial man and woman in the garden to the garden city with a whole new humanity. When it comes to faith, looking back helps us to be encouraged. When we focus on all those situations that seemed insurmountable, and yet, here we are on the other side of that difficulty having hopefully grown wiser. We should consider what God may have intended for discipline, and make sure that we have taken that discipline to heart so that it yields positive results in our life. That is what I want to explore in this article. The positive yield.

Scripture talks about discipline, as in, God using discipline in His fathering us for our good. It help us get into the proper mindset when it tells us that when we are being disciplined, we will likely feel very uncomfortable and that it will not be enjoyable. However, it says that once we have allowed the discipline to properly train us, it will yield a harvest of “righteousness.”

It is this key word, “righteousness”, that is central to what this article is about.

When a man and a woman enter into a marriage relationship, it is considered a covenant. Vows are exchanged and the husband and wife begin a lifelong adventure of discovery. They get to know one another more intimately. They struggle with the character flaws and nuances of each other. They work out what those wedding vows actually mean in real life. When the husband and wife are driven by their love for one another to be faithful to their vows, faithful to the covenant that they made with each other and with God regarding their marriage, there is “covenant faithfulness”. They are fulfilling what they vowed to do in the very mundane and sometimes difficult seasons of life, as well as the fun and truly engagaing times.

Now, being faithful to a covenant is relatively easy when both spouses are healthy, they have enough money to take care of the bills, they are fruitful in bearing children, and so forth. Living together in covenant though will, without question, include seasons where it is more challenging to be faithful to the covenant. Consider a husband that has a high paying job and a wife that is able to maintain a happy, healthy home for her husband and new born child.

Now, consider that the wife is suddenly in a car accident and becomes permanently incapacitated. She can no longer fulfill her normal duties around the house. Now, she needs to be cared for. The child needs to be cared for.

The household needs to be tended to. He still has to keep his head on at work and fulfill his duties there. Things just got real difficult, real quick. Neither of them ever expected to be in that situation when they said their vows and Christian marriage has no ‘escape’ clauses for scenarios like this.

The husband could just choose to give her a certificate of divorce and move on with his child, remarry a healthy woman and let whatever happens to his first wife be on her and her family. He could choose this, if his heart was hardened.

Moses allowed it, but didn’t encourage it. Nor did he ever expect that it would be normalized, but rather for only the most extreme cases, namely of entering the covenant under false pretenses (that the woman was a virgin going into it).

Now, divorce happens all of the time, and for far less challenging circumstances. It hardly shocks anyone anymore. We’ve been thoroughly desensitized. What we see in this specific scenario is a failure of “covenant faithfulness” or “righteousness” on the part of the husband.

In the Sermon on the Mount, one of the most famous speeches ever given, Jesus of Nazareth says, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for God’s righteousness, they shall be filled.” So, what he is saying is that there are times when we may think that God is like that faithless husband. He made a covenant with us, to be our God, with everything that comes with that, and yet our present circumstances have us wondering, “Where is He?”. “Why is He not providing generously?” “Where are the times of deep intimacy He promised us?“ “Why is harm coming to us on every side and we are without protection?”

In those scenarios, some have such a deep longing for “righteousness” or “covenant faithfulness” that they literally hunger and thirst for God to make Himself known in the situation. To do the things that He said He would do. To fill us and satisfy us like He promised He would. These people, Jesus says, have a joyful happiness within themselves that Greek philosophers thought was reserved only for their pantheon of gods.

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Then, there are those who don’t hunger and thirst for God’s righteousness.

They simply turn and look for some other way to have their needs met and their circumstances brought under reasonable control. The best Biblical illustration I can think of for this is the wife of Job. A man in the oldest book of the Bible who, though God considered him to be faithful to their relationship, allowed heaven’s prosecuting attorney, HaSatan, to attack Job in pretty much every way, except taking his life. While Job maintained his position that God would be faithful to him, when things got really bad, Job’s wife told Job to just curse God and die. She was not “Makarios” or “blessed”. However, Job was. When you get to the end of the story, all of his circumstances were brought into proper order, and all the health, wealth, and prosperity that he had enjoyed before he was attacked by HaSatan, was restored to him double.

So, what is the point of all this. You, gentlemen, can trust God to be your God and to fulfill all of His promises to you in this life and in the Age to Come, Eternal Life. For some, there may be seasons where your ability to continue to believingly obey God and praise him is challenged because circumstances would indicate that God’s “righteousness” toward you and your relationship with Him has become null and void, but that is in fact not the case. We serve a covenant-keeping God. Also, as such, we ought to reflect that same covenant faithfulness in our own relationships, not least our marriages, to the fullest extent of the faith that we possess.

Relationships

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The Courage of Transparency Written by Justin Neil Gaynor

As we head into the new year it seems that relationships are top of mind for a lot of people. A recent discussion with a match that I had on FB Dating led to the topic of “the courage of transparency.” In an environment where we can have pretty much any online persona that we want, it has become commonplace for things like catfishing. Catfishing is where someone takes on a different character and image on social media in order to attract someone. It is a sort of fantasy scenario that tends to lead to things like heartbreak, and sometimes flat out fraud.

However, even those with the best intentions, whether online or offline, tend to paint an image of themselves that is more attractive than actual reality.

So, I inquired of the woman I was speaking with regarding relationships, what she would speak to men about going into the new year. Men that she was trying to build up and equip to be better men. The reply came via text, since we had progressed in our relationship from FB Dating Messenger to exchange of phone numbers. “The Courage of Transparency” she said. I absolutely agreed with her on the need to address this topic…so…here we are.

First of all, what does it look like to be courageous in modern times? Why does it require courage to simply present ourselves as we truly are to others? Well, to be courageous is to choose to go up against some kind of force that intimidates us and can perhaps harm us in order to master it or overcome it. The Bible teaches us that “the fear of man is a snare”.

That is to say, to be overly concerned about the opinions of other humans binds you in a trap of pretending to be that thing that pleases the other.

It is a snare because it puts you in the position of living a lie and having to shape your life around that lie. As with all lies, it will eventually be found out and the truth will emerge from the grave where you tried to bury it in order to get along without it.

Boldy being who God made you to be, the person God is calling you to be, takes tremendous courage. To present an honest and sober estimation of yourself requires courage because if the other person doesn’t like THAT person, that is the real you. That kind of rejection can be exceedingly painful. Especially if you really perceived value in that other person and wanted them in your life. What we normally fail to consider though, is the value of transparency. If you can simply be who you actually are then your relationship can begin from a place of honest acceptance of each other. Then as you grow in the relationship, and more of the reality of who each of you are bears itself out, you can grow together and build each other up. If you start from a place of falsehood though, neither of you really have any idea what you are actually working with in terms of raw material for a healthy, lasting, and fruitful relationship.

It is transparency in the relationship that allows us to move more rapidly, and more fully towards a true intimacy, whether romantic, intellectual, spiritual, emotional, etc.

As for my discussion with this, very lovely, woman...our conversation ranged over a wide array of topics and experiences. In the end though, we discovered that while I feel that the covenant relationship described and prescribed in Scripture is not only practical, but the absolute best way forward, her experience, though seemingly well “churched”, has given her a more cynical view. She feels that such descriptions and prescriptions for human relationships are overly idealistic and somewhat antiquated. I am of the opinion that, as G.K. Chesterson has said, ““The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult; and left untried.” ...and if tried, only to the extent of the faith that has been alloted to each of us...which is stronger with some than with others. Just as some hearts are harder and prove to be less fruitful than others.

So, in our case, as far as moving forward toward romantic intimacy we simply did not have a similar enough worldview on some core issues. Of course, as attractive as she was, this made it difficult in the near term.

However, our transparency with each other in these initial stages likely saved us both a lot of frustration, wasted time, energy, and resources.

Sometimes, we, as Christians, simply have to table areas of disagreement for a while and allow time, experience, and the ministry of the Word and Spirit to bring us to a place of increased common ground. We simply have not yet attained to the fullness of Christ thus far. SDG

Justin Gaynor, REALTOR®, 3510 S. Nova Rd., Ste. 112, Port Orange, FL 32129 - 561-876-9728 (Mobile)

Click the eBook for FREE access to the definitive guide to buying a home in Florida!

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Style

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GO PAINT THE WORLD Written by Brian D. Griffin When it comes to styles vs season. We often ask ourselves, what do I wear?

Some men find this to be a daily struggle while others find it to be a seasonal issue. As we dance into the wintery New Year let us discuss some fun colors, styles and trends we are to see this winter season.

The new year, new trends and a new you. Winter has truly blown in an array of eclectic tones. We hope to see you in some of those tones, like red lava or a delicious tangerine orange. Maybe you’re more a spicy yellow mustard, or rose violet?

No matter your tone of choice, pairing the tone with the right trend can make all the difference in how the world sees you. Let’s take the very “in” trend, the Jumpsuit, for example. If you wear an all black jumpsuit, you show a more reserved side to your personality. Not only does it look stealth but gives a more relaxed appearance to the world around you. Contrast that with ones alter ego. Wearing a vibrant tone jumpsuit expresses a little more personality, showing off their bolder side. Whether your tone is more subdued while in all black or rocking it in something more vibrant, both tone and style are on trend this season.

Be ready around the office! Big on the runway this fall/winter 2022/2023 trend is the power shoulders & silhouette waste lines, designers like Prada and Dolce & Gabbana displayed a grand line up of fashionable suits showcasing the power shoulder with a fitted waistline. Often paired with tailored pants. A fitted waistline gives a silhouette appearance in the jacket. Tailoring this look to your design tastes, and comfort, it can also be seen on the runway paired with joggers. So, whether business or casual, you can stay on point with today’s look. If that is expressing too edgy a style for your taste, not to worry.

Classic earth tones stand with tradition, so you can step out in the season confidently, in a fitted long sleeve paired with joggers and puffy coat. Comfort and style that is timeless and welcomes 2023 with a warm embrace.

So, as you ask yourself “What do I wear?”. Now decide with a little more confidence, knowing what to look out for this season, on and off the runway.

Remember all style is ART… GO paint the world!

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Business

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Implementation & Evaluation Written By Justin Neil Gaynor

The time for 2023 goal setting has come to a close and now it’s all about strategy implementation and strategy evaluation. That’s right. Though I have adopted the 1-3-5 to simplify my goal setting, it really just covers the first three steps in the process. We have to get our hands dirty now and launch into the day to day of this stuff. However, if you haven’t finished your goal setting, taken a really holistic look at the lay of the land and evaluated and selected some strategies that you think are going to lead you, and those in your charge, to where you intend on going, then first things first. However, considering that the new year has started and you’ve done all of that, let’s look at these last two steps.

Strategy implementation is probably the most important part of the strategic management process. Whether you are applying it to your small business, your corporate job, or even your personal life…actually doing the things you have set out to do and doing them well is vital to your success. The better you are at daily doing those critical tasks that will lead toward your stated vision and goal the more accomplished you will feel, and be. I have recommended it before, and will continue to do so. Don Miller’s free “Hero On A Mission” Daily planner offers an excellent framework to daily keep you on track for success. It does this by helping you prioritize your tasks effectively and getting you focused on how each and every daily action either gets you closer to your goal or further way.

Now, strategy evaluation is the last part of the strategic management process. With all the planning and forethought that we have given to 2023, if we implement well, our success should be guaranteed. Right?

Wrong. It is still necessary to set smaller goals along the way that will serve as milestones, important points to make sure we are making the progress we want to at an appropriate pace. There may be need to adjust a strategy, or just scrap it altogether if we discover it isn’t doing what we need it to. The initial evaluation and choice of strategies is important, but this is where we test to see if the rubber meets the road or not. The important thing is to track your numbers, know your numbers, and adjust course if it makes the best business sense to do so.

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Dining

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The Ormond Garage Written by Justin Gaynor It has been a productive 2022. Now, as we shift gears and power into 2023, Gentleman’s Purpose is going to be searching out some of the best dining experiences to get your motors running and your shared meal experiences elevated. So, we decided we move forward off the starting line a little with an exploration of “The Ormond Garage.”

Just across the street from one of my “go to” fine dining experiences, Rose Villa, is “The Ormond Garage”. A fresh, clean facility that seems to weld hipster funk together with gritty, hardcore…and nostalgic… Daytona Beach motorsports culture and balance it all with great food and beverages.

The restaurant is spacious with a huge projection screen. I don’t think you are going to find a better place to watch the Daytona 500 except the speedway itself. Classic racing memorabilia and a full scale historic race car are just some of the decorative touches that lend to the atmosphere.

The barmaid was quick to greet me and bring me a freshly brewed Amber Ale (did I mention they have their own microbrews?). The menu is mostly ala carte.

I decided to go with the fish and chips. You can see the cooks gettin’ down in the kitchen from the bar and it wasn’t long before I had some fresh, tender fish fingerlings perfectly fried golden crisp and a large helping of some of the best French fries I think I’ve ever had.

The waitress was attentive without being overbearing, checking in on me from time to time with a gentle smile and sparkly eyes. As I enjoyed my meal, I texted a few friends and let them know what a great experience I was having.

Mostly because I was already thinking how much fun it would be to hang out here with friends for happy hour or something soon.

There are a lot more things on the menu that piqued my interest, not to mention a few more microbrews I think I’d like to try. While they are a full bar, they don’t do a lot of mixed drinks or cocktails. Mostly microbrews and shots.

However, I was able to convince my gal to make me her version of an Old Fashioned, which really only lacked a maraschino cherry and Angostura bitters, and I was ok with that, I can walk across the street to Rose Villa for the finest bourbons on the market. Knob Creek was sufficient for the moment though. I will definitely be coming back. Preferably with friends and family.

The Ormond Garage 48 West Granada Blvd.

Ormond Beach, FL 32174 386-492-7981

Books

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Recommended Additions to Your Library for January 2023: Essential Tradesman

Gentlemen, we are expected to wear many hats...however, more than simply meeting expectations, knowing how to do things around your home can save you money, put you in a position to better serve your neighbors, and give you a sense of satisfaction that comes with fixing something with your own hands. Not to mention that you may just discover a trade that you enjoy which can translate into a high paying career in a respected industry.

Recommended Additions to Your Library for January 2023: Essential Tradesman

When something goes wrong with the plumbing in your home, it helps to know what to do. A quick, knowledgable response to a plumbing problem can save you tons of money. Water can do a lot of damage when it’s not being guided in its proper channels, for its intended use.

Add this book to your book shelf and start with some small repairs or projects to build your confidence.

Recommended Additions to Your Library for January 2023: Essential Tradesman

Living in Florida, our air conditioning systems have become essential to our way of life. Understanding how these systems work as well as how to maintain, and repair them is important. The market for skilled tradesmen in the HVAC industry is huge because of the sheer number of people who own air conditioning units and the conditions. This may be the right career choice if you have the aptitude for it.

Recommended Additions to Your Library for January 2023: Essential Tradesman

While somewhat intimidating, learning how wiring works and perhaps pursuing a career as a master electrician is a worthy goal. Begin with this book that will guide you through the basics. You can begin by adding an electrical outlet to your work bench in the garage, or some other relatively simple project. You may find that this is a career that is right up your alley.

Music

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ERIC CLAPTON NEW RELEASE SINGLE

Pompous Fool Without question one of world’s most renowned guitarists and musicians, Eric Clapton released his new single, “Pompous Fool” in 2022 and I just don’t think this guy gets as much credit these days as he’s due for his musical contribution...so check out his YouTube station and click subscribe...especially if you are keen to learning guitar in 2023. There are few better to learn from.

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BOOK NOW 53

Gear

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For a Florida boy that didn’t grow up with snow, my first time snowboarding was a family trip to Beech Mountain, North Carolina. Now, some 30 years later, my younger brother has really got the snowboarding bug and I’m starting to get motivated as well. So, I am looking forward to the 2024 season to give me time to save, plan...and get into MUCH better shape. One thing is for sure though. I’m going to need some gear, and if you are going to hit the slopes...you are as well.

This board from K2 is reasonably priced and will more than suffice.

A quality snowboarding boot will keep your feet dry, relatively warm, and offer the protection your feet will need while engaging the rugged, snowy terrain. DC’s Scout BOA offers all day comfort in a highly durable and well tested boot. Just click the BUY NOW button below to get them shipped to you sooner rather than later.

On that snowboarding trip from my youth, I remember jumping off a little hill into a soft snowy bank, only to sink down into the snow, roll back, and knock my head on a nice big hunk of hidden granite. So, the lesson is that, if someone tells you to go jump off a cliff, make sure you have your ODOLAND helmet on.

We are going to have to have something more than zip ties and rope to secure our boots to the actual snowboard. So, since we don’t want to McGuyver it, these Snowboard Bindings from K2 should fit the K2 board and DC boots for a comfortable connection.

Newer to Gentleman’s Purpose eM Click here to read more editions...and please share with

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Travel

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Ever since the GP Spring Tour of the East Coast I have regretted not getting to explore the state of Alabama. While in Warner Robins, Georgia, I was just 3 hours from a gal I met online and have been chatting on and off with ever since. There is a lot to see in Alabama, and it’s always good to connect with a native when you are able to.

One place that I hope to get to is the Noccaulula State Park where there are gorgeous waterfalls and all sorts of amazing natural sites to see.

However, they are closed in January and February, so that makes Spring of 2023 my window of opportunity.

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