Volume 30, Issue 6

an alternative voice since 1984

an

SBI

publication

11 . 13 . 2 0 1 2 urkey. t r u o y f f I’ll stu

Vol.

30

Issue:

6

ubgeneration.com

GENERATION MAGAZINE

We struck once.

We can do it again.

The Morning After Nice Curves Shoes For Thought

2!

1 0 2 e n i z a g a

nM o i t a r Gene

CONTENTS

10 10

EIC Letter 5

Soy de Puerto Rico Agenda, Hit/BS 7

Gobble, Gobble Let them be Sluts 8

Halloween Costumes Leo Dicaprio 9

I love Leo A Composed Masterpiece

Cloud Atlas Review Election Wrap up 10

It’s Over!

Curving Preferred? 11

Good or bad?

He Said/She Said 15

Thanksgiving Edition Student Life 16

The Breakdown Cool Beans 18

Coffee Reviews Post Party Wasteland 19

Round Two! Upcoming concerts

What’s new?

The Dreamer’s Gospel 20

Start Something that Matters Short Story 21

See Spot Run Parting Shots 22

Wacktoseintolerant

Real Life Problems

16 16 Cover designed by Melissa Osterweil and Emily Butler, photo source from all credits goes to respective photographer. Cover photo by Phil Hillman, 1970 Buffalonian.

Generation Magazine is owned by Sub-Board I, Inc., the student service corporation at the State University of New York at Buffalo. The Sub-Board I, Inc. Board of Directors grants editorial autonomy to the editorial board of Generation. Sub-Board I, Inc. (the publisher) provides funding through mandatory student activity fees and is in no way responsible for the editorial content, editorial structure or editorial policy of the magazine.

Editorial and business offices for Generation are located in Suite 315 in the Student Union on North Campus. The telephone numbers are (716) 645-6131 or (716) 645-2674 (FAX). Address mail c/o Room 315 Student Union University at Buffalo, Amherst, NY 14260.

Submissions to Generation Magazine should be e-mailed to ubgeneration@gmail.com by 1p.m. Tuesday, a week before each issue’s publication. This publication and its contents are the property of the students of the State University of New York at Buffalo 2011 by Generation Magazine, all rights reserved. The first 10 copies of Generation Magazine are free. Each additional copy must be approved by the editor in chief. Requests for reprints should be directed to the editor in chief. Generation Magazine neither endorses nor takes responsibility for any claims made by our advertisers. Press run 5,000. ≠≠≠

Editor’s Letter G

rowing up in Buffalo with an obviously Polish last name, I’ve often gotten stares when I announce that I am Puerto Rican. The concept of a Polish-Puerto Rican is apparently just too much for most people to comprehend despite Buffalo’s large populations of both groups. Over the years I have learned to deal with people questioning it and have generally saved my comments about the world’s greatest island for my closest friends.

As America watched the election results pour in, there was vote happening in Puerto Rico. Residents of the small island became U.S. citizens in 1917, and earned the right to elect their own governor in 1947. Currently Puerto Rico is considered a commonwealth of the United States, which means they have many of the same rights as states but cannot vote in Presidential elections. Well that all changed on election day… sort of.

This year Puerto Ricans once again voted on a referendum asking the people if they prefer to stay a commonwealth, be fully independent, or want to become a state. In the past, the referendum was always struck down, with Puerto Ricans preferring to remain a commonwealth. But this year, a majority voted in favor of statehood.

I never thought I’d see the day Puerto Rico becomes a state. Growing up, my grandmother always said no one on the island would ever be in favor of statehood, they have it too good as a commonwealth. And to be honest, they do. As a commonwealth, Puerto Rico can set its own drinking age, which is a big deal for the world’s largest rum exporter and a major tourist destination. Those who live on the island also pay less in taxes while still benefiting from government programs.

Personally, I’m still confused how the referendum went in favor of becoming a state. But the more I think about it, the more I begin to believe it’s a good idea for the island to become the 51st state in the union. On an economic level, it can’t hurt to have those citizens and their GDP be factored into the U.S. totals. It may even help boost travel because surprisingly few people know that you currently do not need a passport to visit the lovely island.

Honestly, this country needs Puerto Rico to be a state, purely out of cultural necessity. When I asked my mom how she felt about the referendum her response made me laugh: “It’s about time this country got some rhythm.” I have to admit, it’s hard to argue with her logic. Puerto Ricans have become such a large part of this country’s makeup that it’s time our culture start being considered American.

There is a stereotype of Puerto Ricans: we’re all supposed to be tan, have dark hair and dark eyes, dress in ghetto clothing, wear too much cheap perfume, and eat nothing by rice and pork. We’re also supposed to be completely bilingual, dumber than the white kids, have curves, and be insanely good at soccer and baseball. Newsflash people, for every Puerto Rican you find that embodies all of those stereotypes, I’ll show you 20 that don’t.

I am pale, my 100% Puerto Rican mother is paler than I am and burns in the sun, and her mother, who was born on the island, is paler than her and tans no better. I have the dark hair and dark eyes, but I by no means dress in what can be considered ghetto clothing or wear copious amounts of cheap perfume. I’ll admit that I eat a lot of rice and pork, especially around the holidays, but there is plenty of pasta, chicken, and typical American food in my fridge as well.

The only person in my family who is bilingual is my grandmother, I graduated at the top of my class in high school and I am the worst baseball player you will ever see. The reality is that despite being raised in a Puerto Rican household, I am no different than the kids I grew up with. Yet to many outside of Buffalo, the concept of my family life being no different than the rest of suburban America’s, boggles their minds.

It’s going to take a while before Puerto Rico becomes a state. The island will have to draft a new constitution and submit it to Congress for approval (and we all know they move oh-so fast). But chances are, we’ll have a 51st state within our lifetime. Get ready people, the country is changing and there’s no way to stop it.

The Ricans are coming.

STAFF Editor in Chief Ally Balcerzak Managing Editor Keighley Farrell Creative Director Melissa Osterweil Assistant Creative Director Emily Butler Photo Editor Dinorah Santos Web Editor Gabrielle Gosset Copy Editor Lee Auslander Associate Editors Laura Borschel Carlton Brock Paul Stephan Circulation Director Dan Warne Business Manager Brian Kalish

Ally Balcerzak

Ad Manager Jessica Bornes

AGENDA HIT

T I H S L

OR

L U B

No More Elections!!!!

Finally, we can all rest assured knowing that we can have a day without hearing about all the great and terrible things Obama and Romney have done. Now we only need to hear about one of them.

Fanboys

Wreck It Ralph

It has M. Bison and Bowser in a movie together and it’s Disney.

Pretty awesome.

HIT

Look, we know you love Star Wars but you can’t hate everything new that comes out, three years before it comes out.

Black Friday Shopping

BULLSHIT

Holiday shopping season is finally upon us. Whether you celebrate a major gift giving holiday or not, Black Friday is a great day to score awesome deals on pretty much everything. Stores will open at ungodly hours and hundreds of people will go running down aisles in hopes of snagging that big ticket item that happens to be 75% off. Just be sure to bring some coffee with you if you plan on standing outside and waiting for stores to open, it’s going to be a long cold night.

Castle Doctrine Distinguished Speaker Series: Blake Mycoskie: Thursday, November 15, Alumni Arena Mycoskie is the founder of TOMS, a shoe company known for donating a pair of shoes for each one it sells. He’s also the UB Reads author this year for his book Start Something That Matters. So you might want to read it before he comes. Or just read the book review in this issue.

HIT

On September 22, Brice Harper saw Dan Fredenberg walking up his driveway. He went upstairs, grabbed a gun, came back downstairs to the garage and shot Fredenberg, who was unarmed. Harper won’t be prosecuted for murder, however, because this counts as self-defense under Montana’s recently expanded Castle Doctrine. Basically, you can kill anyone on your property as long as you claim to feel threatened. Welcome back to the Wild West.

Star Wars/Disney

BULLSHIT

Disney made the Avengers and Pirates of the Caribbean. I am not worried about the awesomeness of the NEW Star Wars.

Michael Brown

HIT

Saying Obama responded too quickly to Sandy. Please tell me how long we should have waited the Eastern Seaboard? Go ahead, I’ll wait.

Chinese Environmentalists

BULLSHIT

Thousands of residents in the Chinese city of Ningbo protested the expansion of a petrochemical plant due to concerns over health and environmental quality. The government then suspended the $8.9 billion project. Seeing environmentalists abroad is awesome. Seeing the Chinese government actually listening to dissidents makes it even better.

Face Yoga

Thanksgiving: Thursday, November 22

We finally get a break from seven uninterrupted weeks of classes for Thanksgiving. Like all great American traditions, its origins are dubious and it’s now just an excuse to see your family and eat.

HIT

We can get behind physical fitness, but face yoga has taken the relaxing exercise too far. Supposedly face yoga can get rid of wrinkles and help avoid a need for invasive surgery. First of all, 99% of people actually need invasive surgery on their face. Second, there have been so many trends that can “remove wrinkles” that is beyond our comprehension why anyone would actually take this seriously.

BULLSHIT

Life With Lee

Important lessons brought to you by our favorite Long Island Jew

“Let Them Be Sluts!”

Special guest writter: Keighley Farrell

I

want to start by saying that scandalous Halloween costumes have a bad rap in the girl world.

As a girl who has personally never stepped out on the night of All Hallow’s Eve in a bootyhigh skirt, sparkly top, and animal ears, (“I’m a mouse, duh!”) I have to say that the standards of sexy Halloween have risen considerably since the days of the “Mean Girls” lingerie animals. Nowadays, the racy costume possibilities are seemingly endless, from the pirates and sailors of the high seas, to the majestic “boobaliscious” peacock, to the sultry styles of Bert and Ernie of Sesame Street. If you like it, or rather, if you’ve HEARD of it, chances are there is a sexy costume for it.

There are a great deal of people who I know enjoy taking this opportunity every year to shake what their Mama gave them, there are also a great number of people who are waging a war not just against the costumes themselves, but the women who choose to wear them. They believe that there is a direct correlation between character and appearance, and will stop at nothing to ensure that by the time they are through casting bitter glances and whispering harshly behind their hands, their self-esteems are as ripped to shreds as their “Hooker Pirate” costumes.

While it’s true that this is a multi-faceted issue, touching on theories of over-sexualization, reverse feminism, and stripping a beloved childhood audience of its innocent luster, this editor has a frank and concise opinion: Who the hell cares?

What offends me more than the revealing and sexual Halloween costumes, is the idea that for some reason, something that is often MORE covering than the average bikini swimsuit

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is looked down upon on a holiday that is devoted ENTIRELY to wearing whatever the f**k you want. It’s insulting to see these crusaders of purity casting judgment on a day of frivolity and jubilation, when it is clear that a majority of them have nothing to say while at the beach or the pool, surrounded by the equivalent of flashy waterproof underwear.

Whether or not you personally choose to wear a sexy Halloween costume (or anything else for that matter) is entirely up to you. If we want to talk about reverse feminism, there is nothing more anti-solidarity than trying to dictate what your fellow females should/shouldn’t wear on their own bodies.

Another common comment I’ve heard about the issue is “Look at how she’s dressed, she’s going to get raped.”

This is despicable. Slut-shaming is ripping the very seams of feminism, and this kind of “she’s asking for it” mentality is what perpetuates the idea that it is what the victim does that causes sexual assault. Let me make myself clear: rapists cause rape. Nothing more. And to assume that what a woman wears dictates a level of “permission,” is to assume that all men are so simple, so base and predatory, that they can’t even grasp the concept of “consent.”

You are insulting absolutely everyone who is not a rapist when you point fingers about why or why not someone “is going to be” raped. This is a fact. Girls should be allowed to enjoy sex and feel sexy, without fear of being abused or judged by miscellaneous strangers. It’s 2012, not 1912.

Overall, I am a firm believer that on this holiday especially: if you’ve got it, flaunt it. If you feel attractive and confident, and you’re making safe choices, let your haters be your motivators. Whether you’re a sexy bee, a sexy firefighter, a sexy ear of corn, or just plain sexy, enjoy your Halloweens while you’re still young and hot! It’s only a matter of time before you’ll be passing out candy (and that’s what’s really scary) so you’d better make the most of it.

Leo DiCaprio

Article By: Carlton N. Brock The Third

WARNING: If you don’t want some of the greatest movies in the history of cinema ruined for you, read this after having a Leonardo DiCaprio movie marathon.

I

am not afraid to admit that I am thoroughly looking forward to The Great Gatsby this May. It’s not because I love F. Scott Fitzgerald’s classic tale, which has an entirely obsessive focus on the color yellow. I also want to see this December’s Django Unchained. No, I am looking forward to seeing my absolute favorite actor, Leonardo DiCaprio. I love Leo.

Don’t get me wrong; I am a hot-blooded straight American male. But I definitely dragged my best friend to the midnight showing of Inception, and then I took her to see it again a week later. And then at the drive in the next month. I dragged my then-girlfriend to see Shutter Island twice. I once even made my roommate sit and watch the The Departed at one in the morning, just because it was on.

For Leo, it’s not about looks; he’s getting older after all. It’s not about his voice, which comes across as an odd tone between high and low pitch.

It’s about the connection I’ve developed with each and every character he plays. I wanted to be Frank Abignale Jr. in Catch Me If You Can. He was funny, intelligent, popular with women, not afraid to get his hands dirty, and I am willing to bet he smelled nice.

Okay, that last comment was weird but you get the picture. When he sat on the game show and explained who he was, I was hooked. Over the years he grew and began portraying more in depth characters. And with each new movie, my admiration became obsession. It was magnificent trying to see, who Leo would be next.

Perhaps it’s my obsessive personality combined with my natural inclination to love characters, but Leo is phenomenal to me. Can you imagine The Departed with out his touching performance as Billy Costigan. Leo made me feel that movie. I didn’t want to be Billy Costigan, I wanted to join in with him. I didn’t mind the violence, nor did I mind the idea that the bad guys virtually win in the end (except for Mark Wahlberg but Marky Mark never loses in movies anyway, seriously he’s like freakin’ Superman.) I only felt bad for Billy dying.

I felt the same pity for Teddy Daniels in Shutter Island. Maybe it’s because there is a little crazy in me, but I felt disheartened when I found out that poor Teddy was insane. Perhaps uplifting my pity the most and returning me to my admiration was the mental rollercoaster we call Inception.

Why is it uplifting because I choose to believe that Leo wound up with everything he wanted in the end regardless of what my friends say? Leo deserves to be happy.

In fact I deserve to be happy, so Leo, if you need a partner in your next movie, holla’ at cha boy!

A Composed Masterpiece

Article By: Gabrielle Gosset

I

f you’re looking for a film where you can sit back, sip your gallon of soda, and check out for an hour or so, Cloud Atlas is not for you. If instead you’re looking for a thought-provoking film that is beautiful both visually and in its elaborate and complex story, then you should see Cloud Atlas. Adapted from the novel by David Mitchell, this film is a web of stories occurring during various time periods that overlap and intertwine as the brilliant cast plays different characters in each of the timelines.

The acting is remarkable as each actor and actress plays multiple characters throughout the film. The makeup in the film is breathtakingly realistic, transforming actors into roles of different race, ethnicity, and age while they construct each character’s unique identity in the diverse timelines through their acting. The timelines range from a mid-1800s sea voyage to a post-apocalyptic future while each story carries over certain themes or images from one to the next.

The film jumps from one storyline to the next rapidly, leaving it to the viewer to collect the pieces of each story as it unfolds. Remarkably, these pieces come together through common themes and symbols, helping the audience relate the various timelines into a coherent narrative. This sequencing of the film can be hard to follow at times, but when the timelines are interrelated they are usually accompanied by a voice-over of one timeline’s character over vivid images from other timelines, relating the stories explicitly. Although the stories are broken down into shorter vignettes, jumping between timelines rapidly, it is still a long film, clocking in at just under three hours. You’ll definitely want to skip the upgrade to the jumbo soda for this one.

While the vignette style is intriguing and definitely keeps the viewer interested, it also allows for details to slip through the cracks. This is an incredibly dense film, filled with themes and details that may be lost in the flurry of shorter scenes. This movie asks for multiple viewings, which isn’t that uncommon for a film adapted from a novel, especially a novel as complex as David Mitchell’s.

The most troublesome timeline to follow is one where the characters all speak in a dialect that is just shy of understandable. The general gist is easy enough to pick up on, but at times it was definitely difficult to understand. Because of the story jumping from timeline to timeline, I never felt like I had enough time to immerse myself in the dialect of this timeline, although it was a rather interesting narrative technique.

Here’s the (very) long and short of it. Will you have to pay attention the whole time? Yes. Will it be worth it? If you enjoy cerebral, complex movies, Cloud Atlas will make you consider its many important themes with its stunning imagery, vivid characters, and labyrinthine storyline. Its unique storytelling process and the way each actor plays multiple roles are aspects of this film that make it a cinematic masterpiece.

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PULSE

Four More Years, Of What?

Article By: Paul Stephan

S

hortly after the 2008 election, Time Magazine’s cover showed the Republican elephant and the words “Endangered Species.” Their point was that the Republican Party was no longer able to compete with Democrats on a national level.

It didn’t work. Obama won decisively. It wasn’t even close; we knew by midnight that the president had won re-election. He captured all the states that he won in 2008, minus Indiana and North Carolina (and maybe Florida. Results aren’t in yet as I’m writing this.).

Declaring the death of the GOP may have seemed premature at the time, especially in light of the party’s huge gains in 2010. It’s now clear however, that Republicans are in trouble.

How they choose to address it will determine the path of the country over the next four years and beyond.

And while Republicans expected the economy to be their strongest case, Obama won largely by talking about the economy. By contrasting the actual proposals put forth by Democrats and Republicans, Obama made himself the champion of the middle class and made his opponent out to be a plutocrat.

From the moment Obama was elected, Republicans were set on making him a one-term president. At early conferences of Congressional Republicans, they established that their number one priority over the next four years was to take back the House and the Senate, and to unseat the President. They would do that through obstructionism; give the president no bipartisan victories, compromise nothing, and preach conservatism to the electorate.

Their plan seemed to be working for a while. In 2010, Republicans regained control of the House of Representatives, cut back the Democrats’ lead in the Senate, and won an incredible number of state elections. Political junkies couldn’t talk enough about the enthusiasm gap, the difference in excitement between ecstatic Republicans and apathetic Democrats.

Republicans were excited. In 2012, everything was supposed to go their way. The economy was still struggling, and the last two presidents to lose re-election had presided over a bad economy. Obama’s approval ratings had slid over four years, and seemed to be hovering below 50%. All Republicans needed to do was run a decent candidate, keep talking about the President’s failure on the economy, and the White House would be theirs.

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Elections are won and lost for a lot of reasons. Obama’s campaign organization is the best in history. The Democrats weren’t grossly outspent, as they had feared. Bill Clinton was an incredibly effective surrogate for Obama.

Something else is going on here, though. Obama is the first president since FDR to win re-election with the economy in such miserable shape, and still Republicans couldn’t make their economic case against him. Why not?

Because the Republican Party is too conservative to win a presidential election. Over the past 20 to 30 years, Republicans have become more conservative. In 1990, they were the party that passed cap and trade. George H.W. Bush signed it into law! Nowadays, they talk about cap and trade as if it’s a socialist conspiracy against the free market. Ronald Reagan raised taxes during five years of his presidency when he needed to get the deficit under control. Now, all national Republican candidates sign a pledge that they will never raise taxes ever for any reason.

The moderate conservatism of Reagan, Bush Senior, even McCain, was appealing to enough voters that those candidates could run for president and have a chance of winning.

That’s no longer the case.

And the numbers aren’t going to get any better for Republicans in the future. Hispanics and African Americans, two Democratic strongholds, are outpacing whites in population growth. That will put border states into play for Democrats and make it even harder for Republicans to win nationally. As Senator Lindsey Graham put it, “We’re not generating enough angry white guys to stay in business for the long term.”

If Republicans choose to reverse course, they’ll help their party and the country. In a few months we’ll deal with the socalled “fiscal cliff ”, the expiration of the Bush tax cuts and huge automatic spending cuts. Republicans can use this opportunity to come to a budget deal with the president, accepting tax increases and cuts to the defense budget in exchange for entitlement reform. They could work out a solution to our broken immigration system. They could take action on climate change. (Remember that cap and trade idea you guys had?) They’re already moderating on a statewide level, and doing so nationally would reestablish credibility and actually solve our nation’s problems.

Or Republicans could go even farther to the right. They could conclude that they lost because Romney wasn’t sufficiently conservative. They could point to their House majority as evidence that their plan is working. They could spend Obama’s second term trying to deny him every victory in the hopes of winning in 2014 and 2016.

So what will the next four years look like? Even though Obama won, it isn’t up to him. It’s up to the ones he defeated.

PULSE

Curving Preferred?

Article By: Ally Balcerzak

W

hen it comes to classes, few things are more terrifying than that moment before you find out your grade on a paper, exam, or overall. Some courses come with right and wrong answers, leaving little room to dispute a grade. While others are rather subjective, leading to ranges in grading depending on the professor and the content. Yet no matter the class, there is one question that always comes up when the professor announces a test, “Will there be a curve?”

Curving is extremely common in college, and there have been numerous discussions over whether or not it is really a good idea. I’ve seen students’ grades be both saved and destroyed thanks to curves, and I’ve watched classmates’ opinions on curving change as their grades fluctuated. Perhaps the most frustrating aspect of curving, is the lack of uniformity across classes.

Instituting a curve is a professor’s choice. Even within a single department there will be professors who curve grades and those who don’t. I have been in classes where the professor has had every excuse for not curving from because they felt that it was unfair to students who put in more study time, to the grades generally fall along a standard curve, and even because they did not want to do the math. At the same time, I’ve had professors state in their syllabus that every exam will be curved.

But do curves actually help us as students? After speaking with a few UB graduates who have all gone on to do different things, I’ve begun to question whether curves actually belong in higher academics.

On one hand, a curve is a good way to help even out grading in writing intensive courses, where grading is extremely subjective. “Well, as of yet, they haven’t come up with a ‘perfect’ system that accounts for the quality of the teacher when it

comes to exams,” said English department graduate Jiovanni Crespo. “I think that curving exams is a decent way of achieving this, although it’s not without downsides. The main being that the majority of the class ends up with a C.” In courses with multiple sections, taught by multiple teachers and/or TAs, a curve will help account for the difference in graders. It would take a single professor days to grade 300 exams involving short answer questions, thus requiring the help of TAs who all may accept different answers. By instituting a curve on the exam, the variety of graders and accepted answers is accounted for.

However, there are times when professors insist on creating a bell curve with their grades, and will curve down if necessary. Graduate Stephen Shapero’s own father had to face the downward curve during his undergrad education. “My dad took a course during his undergrad where everyone did too well, [there was an] 80% average. The teacher still curved down so that the average was a C.” As students, we constantly strive for an A. Sometimes you end up in a class with a large group of students who care about their education and willing to put in the work. When professors curve down to create a bell curve, if you aren’t in the top 5-10% of the class, your grade is at risk of being lowered despite the hard work and better than average point total you’ve earned.

“I think [curves] should be instituted when the grades don’t follow a normal curve, but only to boost grades and not lower them,” said Ashley Welsch, a graduate of the Political Science and Legal Studies departments. Personally, I’ve never had a grade lowered just to make the curve work (that I know of), but I have friends who have. At UB, using curves to lower grades seems to be more common in the hard sciences and math, while the humanities tend to only use curves to raise grades, if they use them at all. But again, a curve is the

professor’s choice; they are not required by the university to curve grades.

As a student, it is extremely frustrating not knowing what the curve policy will be when I sign up for the class. Oftentimes it isn’t until long after drop/add that we discover where a professor stands on curves. When you’re sitting in a class that counts the midterm or the final for a large portion of the grade, it is only fair to know on the first day whether or not there will be a curve to help you if a test doesn’t go well.

Curves are more of an undergrad concept than graduate, according to Stephen Shapero. With this in mind, it makes me think that we all might be better off without them from the moment we begin college until the day we graduate with our final degree. For a concept that is supposed to help with grade distribution, it seems to often spark arguments among students and professors.

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PIFC Zombie Walk

For Breast Cancer

rell

ighley Far

: Ke Photos By

Gobble.

Gobble.

HE SAID SHE SAID Thanksgiving Edition I’m a vagetarian, but I’m super sick of the same old tofurkey every year. Any suggestions for making it more exciting?

We always have Thanksgiving dinner at my aunt’s house.

The problem is I have the hots for my cousin. What should I do?

HS: I’m going to assume you meant “vegetarian.” I personally prefer to keep the meat out of the kitchen. Just two women, working with their hands to make sweet, sweet cream pies.

Mmmm.

SS: Like yourself, I too am a “vegetarian”. I too didn’t know I was one until I started playing softball. After that I was pretty much insatiable. I started stopping at The Home Depot every week and building decks as far as the eye could see. However, I was finally able to accept myself when I came to college and was able to connect with people within my “lifestyle” through gender studies classes.

HS: Luckily, there are at least a dozen states where you can marry your first cousin. So you should pick your cousin up from the Thanksgiving table and elope to one of those backwards regions, like Alabama or Tennessee, or New York.

SS: Ok so what you wanna do to get you some lovin’ is to slip some turkey into her drink and get her nice and drowsy. She’ll be sure to fly like a Macy’s Day Parade balloon if you do.

I will be staying on campus for Thanksgiving. What kind of feast can I create using only UB dining options?

HS: Everyone knows that there are two great parts of Thanksgiving dinner: the diabetes-level candied yams and the fact that all your food runs together on the plate. Combine these by ordering every kind of donut from Tim Horton’s and asking Jamba Juice to blend them together.

SS: Well, the Elli offers an array of reasonably priced food stuffs to get you in the mood for the holidays. You could serve hors d’oeuvres in your dorm room as a classy way of showing that you are strong and independent from your parents. What could be better than serving a seven dollar can of artisan Kraft cheese whiz on stale saltine crackers?

How do I cook a turkey?

HS: Contrary to videos you may have watched online, you can’t just just take the turkey straight out of the fridge and stuff it.You gotta warm it up a little first. Make sure you wear gloves throughout to prevent the spread of transmittable diseases. You may also want to use a turkey baster as a nontraditional way to moisten your bird.

SS: First you have to make sure the oven is all hot and bothered before you go sticking a turkey in it. You also might be tempted to overstuff the turkey in anticipation, but you must be careful not to tear any of the lining.

How do I come out to my entire family this Thanksgiving?

Article By: Paul Stephan and Laura Borschel I know I’ve got a lot to be thankful for this Turkey Day. What are you two most thankful for?

HS: I’m thankful for department stores that play Christmas music before Thanksgiving is over. And I’m thankful for shameless consumerism during the month of December. And for fights over Nativity scenes at county courthouses. This is what the holidays are all about.

SS: I’m thankful for Long Island girls who only wear Uggs, North Face Jackets, and leggings as pants. I am also thankful for the Mormons and/or Jehovah’s Witnesses who spread the dear word of God outside the SU like the spread of good American democracy across Iraq. Finally, I am most thankful for homos, who decorate the fabric of America.

HS: Don’t explicitly come out. Just tell them you have a boyfriend. Be warned, however, that you may lose your job as the family treasurer. If they decide to fire you, though, it’s totally legit, because discrimination is okay as long as Jesus agrees with you.

SS: Ok first off, if you’re going to tell your family that you prefer John Smith to Pocahontas this holiday you should take some precautions. First off, you need to make sure all of your family is ready, or else they might need an IV to help resuscitate their Christian values. If they don’t agree, they can always appeal to a higher governing body than themselves.

Why do we even get Thanksgiving off ? Did everyone forget that this was the start of the Eurocentric pillaging of Native America?

HS: Remember that when Columbus invented America in 1492, he had nothing but good intentions. Sure, my European ancestors raped the land, but it was not a legitimate rape. And the Native Americans were totally asking for it. Just look at what they were wearing! So stop complaining and enjoy your days off.

SS: Okay, first off, we Europeans just wrapped them in blankets of love. We couldn’t help that they weren’t immune to the power of Jesus Christ and died anguishing deaths. After all, the Missouri Compromise said that slaves or “others” were 3/5ths a person, so technically, the Civil Rights movement didn’t even happen.

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New Rules, New Questions, New Backlash.

Article By: Lee Auslander

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s if the presidential election didn’t create enough tension and anxiety for UB’s student body, in October Student Life presented policies that would affect all clubs on campus, particularly those affiliated with Student Association. It was met with outrage and increasing anger among students, particularly for those who have invested their time in SA and its clubs.

When first announced, the policies were intended to go into effect in the spring of 2013. There was anger that the policies would go into effect next semester without any review by students. Opinions on the policies were immediately posted on Facebook, but with that came confusion regarding what the policies actually entailed.

But Student Life held two forums, purposely on different days, in order to allow students to come and ask questions about the proposed policy. Also, Associate Director of Student Life Kerry Spicer said, “The point of a forum, and these two forums has been to get student group feedback…we are collecting information, sharing the conversations that we’ve had, like we talked about last night with the advisement piece and things like that, to make sure that students know that our point in being there is to hear you, and to tweak the recognition policy in accordance with the feedback, so that’s been our approach.” Students had thought that the policy would immediately go into effect without review, but these forums gave some hope that that would not happen.

The initial reaction to seeing these policies was mostly anger, since there was already a date in which they would be enacted and at that time there was no student review.

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But, the forums were designed to receive student feedback and since then, a requirement has been dropped and the policies, once finalized after review, will be enacted in the fall of 2012 rather than next semester.

Student Life mentioned that the policy came about because student groups came forth to complain about problems. Spicer said, “There were issues with power, and control issues with non student members in groups taking away sort of that learning piece of being in a student group, as well as their decision making ability because of age or position in the community.”

Academic council coordinator Carson Ciggia stated, “[In] the first forum, we really tried to show them the strength of the students and unity, and that we really had a unified voice.” By doing so, the forums provided Student Life with some perspective on the students’ main concerns.

Advisors Among the most heavily protested new policies was the requirement that all clubs had to have an advisor, regardless the nature of the club.

The current SISH council coordinator, senior political science major Joshua Anbar said, “The SISH council will be affected by the fact that many of the SISH clubs will have difficulty finding advisors. [There is no] immediate academic connection.” SISH is not the only council that would have trouble finding advisors, as UB is a research university and thus, professors may not be likely to take time to manage a club of

students. But it would be especially difficult for SISH because the clubs of interests, hobbies and religious clubs are not academic. Furthermore, SA counts more than 300 recognized clubs; it may be difficult for each club to find itself an advisor.

Not only would the councils have difficulty in finding advisors, it would remove the need for council coordinators, which are elected students who, according to Anbar, “[are] tasked with advising the various clubs in their council to allow them to function to the best of their ability.” In essence, the council coordinators already function as advisors, albeit student ones. As such, they contribute to the notion that SA is indeed a student association. Adds junior political science major Alana Barricks, “Autonomy of the clubs is what sets UB apart from other campuses. Having an entity for the students by the students gives us the opportunity to use the mandatory activity fee with the students’ best interests in mind.”

After the first forum, the proposal of each club requiring an advisor was reduced to a recommendation rather than a requirement. This provides students a choice, like that they had been asking for.

Recognition When first proposed, Student Life’s policies stated that one agent must recognize clubs. It states that in order for a club to maintain recognition it must “achieve and maintain recognition by only ONE approved University Recognizing Agent. Recognizing agencies include student governments, academic and administrative departments, as well as other formally recognized University entities.” For clubs that are solely recognized by Student Association, this is not a big issue. But for the numerous clubs that are recognized by both Student Association and academic department(s), this policy posed a major issue.

These clubs, notably the engineering clubs, made their concern clear with Student Life during the forums. The engineering clubs receive funding from SA and are, according to Anbar, “simultaneously recognized by the Engineering department, which grant the space and technical resources to carry out their events and projects.” Obviously for these clubs, it is difficult to choose between funds needing to function and proper space to function. Trying to be responsive, Student Life maintained that they were attempting to make the policy work in a way that it would not inhibit their ability to function as a club and that they are actively working with academic departments.

Spicer said, “I think one of the misconceptions was that we were limiting groups’ ability to be recognized by other entities.” That conflicts with what is directly stated in the original policy proposal, which clearly states that there must be only one approved agent. But this is also an indication that the policy is not concrete and that there will be changes based on feedback. Spicer admitted that the language might not have been clear.

Said Engineering Coordinator Jennifer Merckel, “I think there’s still some to be discussed, but recognition, what actually happens with the dual recognition and the secondary recognizing club, exactly how that’s gone about, but I think it’s definitely a work in progress and there is progress being made.”

Professional fraternities face this issue as well. Student Life is also interested in making sure that the policies do not hinder their ability to function. Spicer said, “Part of what of this process is [is] talking with the different Greek organizations, so we are still waiting on feedback from Inter-Greek council.”

In addition to concerns about dual recognition, there were also concerns about whether Student Life wished to control the process by which clubs are recognized and derecognized. Student Life acknowledged that that is the role of the Student Association Senate. As Barrick states, “Taking away the power to recognize and derecognize clubs takes the power of the students.”

The policy did not explicitly state how a club should achieve recognition and there was anger from clubs because there was no grandfather clause. All clubs, essentially, would have to apply for recognition again. But, SA maintains the ability to recognize and derecognize its clubs.

UBLinked The condition of a club using UBLinked was a source of confusion for many students. The policies outlined the need for clubs to create a UBLinked account and the organization has to receive confirmation of recognition through the website. Students thought this meant that UBLinked would be the new means by which Student Life wished to recognize clubs but Student Life maintains that was not the case.

Cigga said, “Originally we thought the UBLinked was actually going to recognize and derecognize and Student Life would have that policy because they would have control over UBLinked, whereas now we know that the recognizing agent is going to stay as the Student Association.” He adds that the policy was vague, which is why there may have been so much backlash and confusion.

Since understanding what Student Life actually meant in regards to UBLinked, which was that clubs would have to create one in order to make the equivalent of a database for organization and a means for contact, students have not seemed to mind the UBLinked policy.

Cigga said, “UBLinked I think will actually help streamline the clubs.” During the second forum, SA President Travis Nemmer said that update forms as well as certain other forms will be handled through UBLinked, which can be helpful.

Membership The policy stated, “Non-University membership must be less than 10% of the total make up of the organization.” There is a limit to what this 10% can do in the club, for example they cannot hold e-Board positions or work at tables or distribute materials on campus.

Fraternities and sororities were particularly affected by this policy, as their alumni are considered members of their organizations. However, the policies clearly state that there is an exception to the membership rules for Greek life and during the forum Student Life mentioned that there would be discussions about it.

Other groups, particularly ones whose members are composed of community members are frustrated with the policy. It was obvious during the forum. But Student Life maintains that they, according to Spicer, “Go back to the mandatory activity fee money, we have to adhere to SUNY guidelines, we are responsible for that just as much as the student governments are responsible for that, in making sure that you’re adhering to those policies.” Student Life is concerned that members of clubs who are not UB students may not adhere to guidelines and they do not pay the mandatory student activity fee but yet still benefit from clubs. There is more work to be done in terms of a compromise.

Particularly after the second forum, students seemed to have a better response to Student Life, even if they still did not agree with all aspects of the policies. Barricks said, “[Student Life] were willing to agree to listen.” The forums may have calmed the students who were angry because they were able to ask questions and give feedback.

Student Life maintains that the purpose of the forum was to get the necessary feedback before the policy is finalized. Spicer said, “The final document will be crafted based on student feedback and shared.” Now we just have to wait to find out what the finalized document entails.

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“Cool Beans”

BuffaLove

Chances are if you’re currently on campus, you’ve had a cup of coffee. For some (most) of us, we’ve got years of coffee consumption under our belts already, and we haven’t even technically entered adulthood. As with most drugs, I’m sure you’re not as interested in caffeine’s history, adverse effects, and mortality rate, but rather, where you can get it and how good it is. So today I will be plotting out for you the best and worst coffee around Buffalo, rated in taste, cost, shop atmosphere, and how cool you will look holding it.

Starbucks The stylish, pretentious titan of the java industry is probably the first place that comes to mind when you think “coffee.” With a static but chic café setting and free Wi-Fi as far as the laptop can sensor, Starbucks is home to all of the smartest (looking) and most artistic (looking) people in the world.

If you’re searching for a place to write your newest screenplay while simultaneously falling in love with that quirky barista with the face tattoo, this is the shop for you. Admittedly, their coffee is pretty kick-ass, and has a wide variety of flavors and styles to please everyone from the “I’ll take it black” to the “I like my coffee like I like my men, covered with whipped cream.

Minus the coffee.” However, beware, ye empty of pocket who enter here, for while Starbucks is absolutely one of the trendiest caffeine suppliers, it also costs upwards of $5 a cup if you want anything other than black coffee, in any size that will last you more than an hour or so. Enter with caution!

Taste: 5/5 Beans Cost: 1/5 Beans Ambiance: 4/5 Beans Cool Factor: 5/5 (Beantastic!)

Tim Horton’s One of our favorite contributions from our neighbors to the north, Timmy Ho’s is great for the average student with a meal plan. It’s easy to fit an Ice Capp, a bagel, and about 7,000 Timbits in to one $8.50 bill, and if you’ve got extra meals at the end of a week, there’s nothing that says “I overslept this week and missed breakfast twice” than a couple dozen donuts for your hallmates back at the dorms. While they are pretty economically sound, as someone who takes their coffee iced, without any sugary accoutrements, the taste can be slightly unbearable sometimes. (Seeing as their iced coffee is just the old hot coffee… over ice.) And while their selection is slowly expanding to include limited-edition drinks and seasonal treats, they still don’t come anywhere close to the variety Starbucks offers. And at least around UB, they don’t even have their own café, making their ambiance obsolete.

(Unless you count the ceaseless roar of the Student Union ambiance.) As far as your image goes, Tim Horton’s is like the “UB Lanyard” of coffee cups: everybody’s got one, but no one’s really proud of it. Basically your average (cup of) Joe. Taste: 3/5 Beans Cost: 5/5 Beans Ambiance: 0/5 Beans Cool Factor: 2/5 (Just another Bean in the Bag)

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Dunkin’ Donuts Just a hop, skip and a jump across Main Street, Dunkin’ is a décor déjà vu, with big comforting splatters of pink and orange, a reminder of the pink donut frosting and the orange… the orange… well let’s just forget about the orange. (At least it looks spunky on the cups!) Dunkin’ used to be my die-hard caffeine go-to, not too bitter and not too mild, with just enough variety to please the capricious without too many selections to confuse the classics. As far as cash goes, most of the prices are pretty fair, but too many Coolattas and you might find yourself playing accordion outside for rent money. But the biggest aspect of Dunkin’ that Tim’s and Bucks’ just don’t have a grasp on is the food. No one does a donut as simple, cheap and good as DD. But more importantly, they also serve your favorite breakfast selections from open to close, instead of the dreadful 11AM cutoff. Because when you want a sausage, egg and cheese on a croissant and four in the afternoon, you just can’t settle for a BLT. (TIM.) Taste: 4/5 Beans Cost: 4/5 Beans Ambiance: 2/5 Beans Cool Factor: 4/5 (ABC, A Bean Classic)

Spot Coffee

My absolute favorite Buffalo coffee shop, you know you’ve made it when you’re at Spot. It’s off campus, artsy, warm, and inviting, and you just can’t beat the home-grown feel of each location, nestled comfortably into their respective neighborhoods of Elmwood, Main, and Delaware. I’d tell you more, but this editor challenges you to go find out for yourself! Have a coffee adventure; we all know you need the caffeine!

Taste: 5/5 Beans Cost: 5/5 Beans Ambiance: 5/5 Beans Cool Factor: 1,000,000/5 Beans (The Bean King)

Article By: Keighley Farrell

BuffaLove

Post Party Wasteland

Upcoming Concerts

Article By: Dinorah Santos

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eep sunken eyes and drool were at the corners of their cracked white lips. Hunched over, dragging their feet, and slurring their words without any breaks. Relax. The zombie apocalypse is not here. These are not zombies I am describing, but our fellow college students the day after Halloween weekend. Unfortunately, Halloween fell on a Wednesday this year. Ugh, Wednesday, who likes Wednesdays?

It’s the middle of the week; the day that goes by the slowest. You can barely make it through the day without your eyes closing shut; you can smell the weekend right around the corner. You forget that jeans ever existed so you throw on some sweats and say “F it!” but who said that that would ever stop college students from having fun? Isn’t that why weekends were invented anyways?

There were multiple parties held the week before Halloween, but it wasn’t the skimpy costumes I was looking forward to or even the amount of free liquor being shoved into my hands. What interested me more was the aftermath of Halloween weekend. Post-Party Wasteland.

On both Friday and Saturday, Main St. was packed with drunk, horny college guys and the half-naked girls in floozy costumes that only made it worse.

On Sunday morning, you would have thought we were in the west with the tumble weeds in the street. Oh wait it’s a Nicky Minaj wig! For most college students the day did not begin until it was time to go back to bed again. It was so deserted in the Student Union that it kind of gave you the creeps and it wasn’t even Halloween. The few who were up looked half-dead. They were walking out their dorms tripping over their own feet, trying to fight their hangovers.

You knew it was a good weekend when you walked down the side streets of South Campus. The infamous red Solo cups were scattered all over the streets. There was a cat somewhere missing her tail because it was on Lisbon covered in mud. Poor kitty. Someone had a wild night; I spotted some condoms on the streets. I’m not sure if they were used or not and I was not going to find out. I would also like to thank those light drinkers who decided to drink like they were in a LMFAO music video taking shots like there was no tomorrow. It smelled like human piss and puke when you walked past Greek houses. I spy would be really interesting to play walking down Winspear. Let’s give it a try; I spy with my little eyes a shoe. I spy with my little eyes a pink thong. You can say that Halloween weekend was a success. Who’s ready for round two!

Theory of A Deadman •The Canadian rock band is playing alongside Charm City Devils Wednesday, November 14 at Water Street Music Hall.

Ticket Price: $23 in advance, $25 at the door Address: 204 N. Water Street, Rochester, NY 14604 Doors Open: 7 pm

Sister Sparrow & The Dirty Birds •The Brooklyn based new school funk band is performing Thursday, November 15th at the Town Ballroom.

Ticket Price: $12 in advance, $15 at the door Address: 681 Main Street Buffalo, NY 14023 Doors Open: 7 pm

Trampled by Turtles •The popular bluegrass Minnesota band is playing Thursday, November 29th at the Town Ballroom.

Ticket Price: $15 in advance Address: 681 Main Street Buffalo, NY 14023 Doors Open: 7 pm

State Radio •The alt. rock band from Massachusetts will be playing Saturday, December 1st at Water Street Music Hall.

Ticket Price: $17 in advance, $20 at the door Address: 204 N. Water Street, Rochester, NY 14604 Doors Open: 7 pm

Billy Talent •The 90’s punk band will be playing Sunday, December 2nd at the Town Ballroom.

Ticket Price: $23 in advance, $25 at the door Address: 681 Main Street Buffalo, NY 14023 Doors Open: 7 pm

2 Chainz •The rapper will be performing Monday, December 3rd at the Town Ballroom.

Ticket Price: $36 in advance Address: 681 Main Street Buffalo, NY 14023 Doors Open: 7 pm

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LITERARY

The Dreamer’s Gospel Article By: Paul Stephan

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his year’s UB Reads book is Start Something That Matters, by Blake Mycoskie. It attempts to rouse our latent ambitions to make the world a better place and to stir us to action. As such, it’s an inspiring read, though one that can sometimes seem hopelessly romantic.

Blake Mycoskie is the founder and self-titled Chief Shoe Giver of TOMS Shoes. If you’re not familiar, TOMS is a company that donates one pair of shoes to those in need for every pair that it sells. The book recounts the TOMS story and encourages the reader to also take part in something that matters.

This quick read is part anecdote sample tray and part advice guide. Every bit surges with energy, and the author serves as a text-based motivational speaker for 185 straight pages. There are plenty of stories of highly successful people driven by the passion of their ideas. The stereotypical ambitious entrepreneur working out of his garage is repeated and celebrated in tales about TOMS, Walmart’s Sam Walton, and Method’s Adam Lowry and Eric Ryan.

Mycoskie’s message is clear: If you really believe in your idea, and it’s a good idea, then pursue it and you will succeed. He hopes that readers will learn about others’ success and be inspired to jump in to their own socially responsible project.

The book worked on the motivational front. I found it exciting and I believed what Mycoskie has to say about starting something that matters.

But I believed it in part because I wanted to believe it. As Americans, we like to think that anyone with vision and passion will succeed, and that any obstacle can be overcome with a compelling story and a just mission. This mantra, which I’ve dubbed “If you dream it, they will come,” is the book’s guiding theme.

Mycoskie writes, “When you have a memorable story about who you are and what your mission is, your success no longer depends on how experienced you are or how many degrees you have or who you know. A good story transcends boundaries, breaks barriers, and opens doors.” This is a big part of “If you dream it, they will come,” and it’s woefully incomplete.

It ignores the tremendous difficulties that accompany any kind of project and it discounts the hard work required to thrive.

In 1965 an Amsterdam group started a bike-sharing program. They put white bicycles in different parts of the city for anyone to use, expecting that people would bring them back based on the honor system. They didn’t. It was a beautiful idea and a lovely story, but that’s not always enough.

Making a difference in the world is hard work, it doesn’t happen overnight, and it doesn’t always pan out. This is obvious in some of the initiatives Mycoskie highlights, but he typically sidesteps these less sexy aspects of his stories. He names Craigslist, for example, as an “instant success”, ignoring the fact that it was created in 1996 and spent a decade in the wilderness before most people had heard of it.

While Start Something That Matters does bring up how hard these endeavors can be, for the most part this topic is brushed to the side, as if vision is all that really counts. If you dream it, they will come.

To his credit, Blake Mycoskie gives a number of useful pointers to would-be entrepreneurs

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and movement starters. He identifies six elements of success (Face your fears, keep it simple, etc.) with a chapter devoted to each. The book highlights the power of stories, gives advice on frugality, and insists on the value of trust. The author’s heavy use of anecdotes makes the book accessible and fun.

Still, there’s very little advice on what to do when things don’t work, which is something that’s bound to happen in any new endeavor. By failing to include stories and advice on facing challenges, Mycoskie misses an opportunity to better prepare his audience to succeed.

On one of the last pages, Mycoskie writes, “Today I would say that my goal is to influence other people to go out into the world and have a positive impact, to inspire others to start something that matters.” If the book is meant to inspire, it meets that goal well. As a practical guide and a troubleshooting manual, however, it comes up short. Perhaps the author believes that bringing up difficulties would sap the energy from his work, but giving readers an honest idea of what to expect would have strengthened his message overall.

Mycoskie writes a dreamer’s gospel. For those who want to make a difference, it’s inspiring, even when it skips over the thornier issues of not only starting, but succeeding at something that matters.

Blake Mycoskie will be speaking as part of UB’s Distinguished Speaker Series on Thursday, November 15 at 8:00 PM in Alumni Arena.

LITERARY

Short Story By: Carlton N. Brock The Third

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ee Spot Run. See Spot run from the cops, with his gun in one hand and his drugs in the other. Money falling from his stuffed pockets and dancing its way to the gravel like snow on winter day. Seeing Spot, several pedestrians move out of the way because Spot is running from several armed cops.

“Stop!” An officer yells at Spot.

Instead of listening, Spot knocks over a man who hadn’t got the message from the crowd.

Spot sees a fire escape and runs toward it. The scene erupts in panic as Spot stops behind a dumpster and shoots half a clip at the cops. By the time he reaches the top of the building, a helicopter had seen Spot. When he realizes he was spotted, he seizes the opportunity to run again.

Running and jumping across the rooftops, people seeing Spot on the news start screaming. Spot climbs down another building’s fire escape, and hides in the trunk of a car on the curb.

Spot stayed quiet for a moment to see if he could rest; he was tired of running. When he opened the trunk, he was spotted by a cop. Spot shot the cop before any more saw him and then he started to run.

Spot didn’t see any more places to hide, but he did hear the “pop” of the gun being fired by the cops. Spot was shocked. He saw a house to hide in owned by a friend named Scott.

“What the hell Spot?” said Scott, “I’ve seen you all day running from the cops.”

“Just give me some clothes, give me anything you’ve got”

Spot could now be seen running a fever from running too much with no water. But he didn’t want to lead the cops to Scott, so he took off in hurry and never really stopped. Before he knew it, it was four o’clock. He still had most of the drugs and some of the money, even after giving a bit to Scott.

Some kids saw Spot and ran up to him to try and sell him rocks, which Spot kindly declined before a cop spotted him.

The hideout wasn’t far now; he was passing the old bread shop. Flashlights could be seen and sirens were in earshot. And so Spot thought, “If only I had a car, or my homies then these cops would get lost”

That’s the only idea Spot got, as every cop in town could be seen following his run. He turned his body and with his last bullet he shot. And threw the gun away, hoping it would trip up a cop.

He hid in an alley away from the cops and snuck up to spot where he was supposed to make the drop. Spot was safe, or so he thought.

“Where’s the rest of the drugs and the money?” Asked the drug lord named Stock.

“I lost a bit, I was running from the cops.”

And that’s when Spot was shot and fell to the floor as Stock picked up the money and laughed. Anyone on the street could spot Spot’s blood running all over his clothes and making puddles on the ground like melted snow. See Spot run.

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Parting Shots Wacktoseintolerant W

ack: A lack of skill particularly in rap music; a discernable deficit in ability when compared to skills of your contemporaries; you bust weak rhymes yo. If you read my Bitch Bad article then you know that I love hip-hop. In fact, I love it so much that I know the words to entire hip hop albums and can recite them in order. But I’m not going to lie to you all; hip-hop has become too protective of its self. Every rapper claims that they have money and fans and deserve the most respect possible from everyone.

And I’m here to tell you that they are lying through their teeth. Rappers and fans of rappers, it’s time to admit that it’s not haters, but that you are wack as blue hell.

I’ll give you an example. Waka Flocka Flame has no lyrical ability. Oh a good beat, but not a strong performance on the microphone. And for those of you reading this and saying I’m a musical snob or something to that effect, you all must realize that I am merely pointing out a flaw in music. It’s wack.

Article By: Carlton Brock Now am I harkening back to days of old where rappers used to talk about going to the store, buying tennis shoes and going to a movie. But frankly, I don’t care how much swag you’ve got. In fact, if all your favorite artist ever raps about is swag then he’s a one trick pony and being a one trick pony is wack. If I want to listen to a bunch of uneducated morons talking (not rapping, that would require you to consciously rhyme words together for more than a single bar) about how cool they are, I’ll go sit in on Mrs. Johnson’s sixth grade home and careers class while they make pancakes!

But the wackness of the rappers is not the total problem. The problem is when it permeates the society to the point where mediocrity is seen as good, and good is seen as great. People didn’t line up in droves to see Rebecca Black in concert but they went crazy over Soulja Boy. Soulja Boy can’t rap so why the hell does he have a platinum single. It’s ridiculous. Stop paying for wack music, people. You don’t see novice guitar

Real Life Problems B

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players getting crazy record deals with droves of fans but it’s excusable if they’re a rapper.

If you are defending your favorite rapper (or musician of any genre), that’s fine. We all defend our favorites. But if you’re saying someone is the best then you should be able to back it up. For example, if you claim your favorite can beat anyone alive; note I said alive so Biggie, Tupac, Big Pun, and Eyedea don’t count even though they would serve your favorite rapper’s favorite rapper.

Then I implore you watch a battle or a cipher with Wu Tang, or Freestyle Fellowship, or MF Doom, and come back to me with your argument.

If you are concerned that you are wack, ask people for an honest opinion. If you like a Top 40 artist, then just remember this: sales equal marketability, not skill.

Article By: Laura Borschel

eing the good rainbow warrior that I am, the first order of business that’s on my gay agenda during the week, other than recruiting malleable young minds, is planning when my friends and I are going to go to Club Marcella. I find that it’s a great way to blow off some steam and still experience some of Buffalo’s gay night life for the under 21 crowd. Overall, I would say that I almost always have a great time dancing and being with my fellow homos. I do however, experience a reoccurring and baffling problem EVERY SINGLE time I go there. I only attract/get hit on by gay men.

Unbeknownst to me at the time, I had already been doomed to live an existence of attracting the more fabulous sex.

At first, I was quite flattered and just laughed it off. After all, Marcella’s usually had a pretty decent female-to-male ratio and wasn’t just intended for a gay male audience. So, I naturally thought that it was a fluke; an anomaly that would stop as quickly as it started.

I was wrong.

The night started off innocently enough with some dancing, a drag performance, and an underwear contest. I eventually decided to join a friend of mine outside for some fresh air. About thirty seconds after being outside a guy about my age came up to me. I thought he was going to ask me for a cigarette, but instead told me very frankly “You’re a really hot guy”. Still processing

It started slowly, men propositioning me to dance, hungry and direct gazes from men in my vicinity, calling to me with their own siren songs. Little did they know, I was no Odysseus, and was immune to their powers; I had no intention of crashing my ship into their rocky shores. My predicament however, soon began to get worse, and one night I finally started to realize that it was becoming a reoccurring pattern.

everything, I stared at him blankly and said “I’m a girl, sorry”. He was taken aback a little and just said, “Well, still you make a hot guy.” He turned around and left.

After that night, it only got worse. Night after night, I had heard everything from “hey, you should give me your number,” to “I would f*ck the shit out of you if you were a dude,” from available gay men.

I was and still am completely stunned. Every part of my brain still screams. “What. The. Hell.” Sure, I acknowledge the fact that I am pretty androgynous, but STILL, I have girly facial features and looked pretty similar to my fellow female gays who sport the occasional flannel and boyish haircut.

For now, I have accepted my unintentional status as a twinky guy, and hope that I attract something other than men.