Volume 30 Issue 5

an alternative voice since 1984

an

SBI

publication

10 . 30 . 2 0 1 2 fool I pitty the

Vol.

30

Issue:

4

ubgeneration.com

GENERATION MAGAZINE

Om Nom Nom Flipping the Bird

Blow,. Suck,. Swallow.

2!

01 2 e n i az g a M ion

at r e n e G

CONTENTS

18

7

EIC Letter 5

Call Me, Maybe?

Agenda, Hit/BS 7

Uggs already?

Pet Peeves 8 Horror Stories 9

Middle school memories Big Bird 10

The 95% Voting Choices 11

Think the Vote He Said/She Said 15

Jeepers Creepers Accademy’s Addiction 16

Study Drugs Food Trucks 18 Opinion 19

Student Life Upcoming concerts

What’s happening in your town Short Story 20

Summer Nostalgia Poetry 21 Parting Shots 22

A Cornucopia of Bullshit

Pick up Lines

Cover designed by Melissa Osterweil and Emily Butler, photo source from http://www.forumfortnightly.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/102_0266.jpg, http://www.cavstheblog.com, www.infiniteunknown.net all credits goes to respective photographer.

Generation Magazine is owned by Sub-Board I, Inc., the student service corporation at the State University of New York at Buffalo. The Sub-Board I, Inc. Board of Directors grants editorial autonomy to the editorial board of Generation. Sub-Board I, Inc. (the publisher) provides funding through mandatory student activity fees and is in no way responsible for the editorial content, editorial structure or editorial policy of the magazine.

Editorial and business offices for Generation are located in Suite 315 in the Student Union on North Campus. The telephone numbers are (716) 645-6131 or (716) 645-2674 (FAX). Address mail c/o Room 315 Student Union University at Buffalo, Amherst, NY 14260.

Submissions to Generation Magazine should be e-mailed to ubgeneration@gmail.com by 1p.m. Tuesday, a week before each issue’s publication. This publication and its contents are the property of the students of the State University of New York at Buffalo 2011 by Generation Magazine, all rights reserved. The first 10 copies of Generation Magazine are free. Each additional copy must be approved by the editor in chief. Requests for reprints should be directed to the editor in chief. Generation Magazine neither endorses nor takes responsibility for any claims made by our advertisers.

Press run 5,000. ≠≠≠

Editor’s Letter I

have a problem, one that can potentially cause people to think I’m insane if I don’t get a handle on it soon. I am addicted to Call Me Maybe. It started off as a harmless song obsession at the beginning of summer, but it has stuck around long past the carefree days of bumming around Buffalo without a schoolbook in sight. Now here we are, middle of the semester, and I am still bombarding everyone in the Generation office with it at least twice a day.

In fact, my obsession with this earworm that has practically no musical merit has caused me to restart this letter for the third time this issue. Our student groups face the possibility of being taken over by Student Life and all I can seem to write about is how catchy Carly Rae Jepsen’s only hit is. Luckily, after three years as an English major, I can find correlations in anything. What does Call Me Maybe have to do with the new Student Life policy you ask? Well, it’s rather simple actually.

The very first stanza in the song says, “I threw a wish in the well, don’t ask me I’ll never tell, I looked to you as it fell, and now you’re in my way.” As students, we wish for our school to help us grow, succeed, and teach us something. For years administration has allowed us to run our own groups without their intervention as long as we abided by the rules put in place by student government. This autonomy has allowed us to learn responsibility, how to work with people different from ourselves, and to some degree, run a business. So we wish to remain autonomous, but now, wait for the pun, Student Life stands in our way.

Moving onto the chorus, we can look at it as a sort of reaction to the policy being sprung on us. “Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s my number, so call me maybe?” While I sat in Student Life’s forum on Sunday October 21st, I listened as numerous students informed Mr. Tiberi that they wished to be a part of the committee working on the new policy. In fact, more than one student actually walked up to the Director and handed him their contact information. Most of the students sitting in the Student Union Theater that night walked in with little to no prior knowledge of the man who ran Student Life, but that didn’t stop them from willing handing over phone numbers and e-mails to a man they had just met.

Perhaps the most resonant verse of Call Me Maybe comes one minute and four seconds into the song: “You took your time with the call, I took no time with the fall, you gave me nothing at all, but still you’re in my way.” According to Mr. Tiberi, Student Life spent all summer working on this policy.

We the students had no idea it was even a possibility until Friday October 19th. Even the SA eboard, the elected heads of the undergraduate student government, didn’t know about the policy until it was forwarded to them by the GSA President. Student Life literally gave us nothing about this policy until the last moment they possibly could.

To discuss the policy, they held a forum for us that was announced at the list minute, during midterms, over Family and Homecoming weekend. From where I’m standing, it looks as though they hoped for a small turnout and little opposition. But the thing about college students is that when we disagree with something, we don’t stay quiet. Student Life seems to have forgotten that.

In all seriousness, this policy is a big deal for our university. If it were to pass as is, all groups would be required to have an advisor that would have authority to sign off on financial and legal paperwork. Groups would also be forced to give up dual recognition, practically killing all academic and engineering council clubs.

I started out the year writing an article in support of the Mandatory Student Activity fee. I still believe the fee provides us with a lot of services that are necessary, but if this policy doesn’t change and goes into effect, I want a recall vote. I voted yes because I thought the current system was staying put. Had I known that administration was going to impose new rules that would severely constrict how student groups function, I never would have supported it.

Student Life is holding another open forum on November 5th at 9 p.m. in the Student Union Theater. ALL student groups will be affected by this; undergrad and graduate groups alike will have to abide by this policy. I hope when November 5th rolls around, the theater is packed beyond capacity.

Mr. Tiberi, feel free to call me.

STAFF Editor in Chief Ally Balcerzak Managing Editor Keighley Farrell Creative Director Melissa Osterweil Assistant Creative Director Emily Butler Photo Editor Dinorah Santos Web Editor Gabrielle Gosset Copy Editor Lee Auslander Associate Editors Laura Borschel Carlton Brock Paul Stephan Circulation Director Dan Warne Business Manager Brian Kalish

Ally Balcerzak

Ad Manager Jessica Bornes

AGENDA HIT

T I H S L

OR

L U B

Defense of Marriage Act: Denied!

Thanksgiving break! 11. 21.12 - 11.24.12

Soon enough, we’ll all be thankful for some (hopefully) well-earned time to kick back and relax.

DOMA or, the Defense of Marriage Act, was found, for the second time in US history, unconstitutional by a federal court of appeals in Manhattan.

Supporters of striking down DOMA hope that this will be a large step in fighting for marriage equality.

Binders Full of Women

Romney’s comment on having “binders full of women” during the debate struck a cord with the American people. 47% of American women were offended; the other 53% decided that they were okay with it, as long as the binders came with $50,000 plates of food.

South Park

Halloween Week 10. 26 . 12- 11.2 . 12 Halloween is on a Wednesday this year, which means you have society’s permission to party Saturday to Saturday! Take this as an opportunity to craft 7 different costumes and keep the fun going all week!

HIT

BULLSHIT

South Park becomes Gotham’s Reckoning. In a new South Park episode, “Insecurity,” Cartman and all of the town’s men confront the UPS man for supposedly sleeping with their wives. How do they keep their anonymity? By sporting the terrifying mask of Generation’s favorite muscly, diabolical, Tom Hardy actin’ villain, Bane. Top notch, Matt and Trey, top notch.

The Weather

HIT

This may be Buffalo, but that doesn’t mean Mother Nature gets to have a spazz attack everyday. This whole cold in the morning, sunny during lunch, and raining by 3 p.m. thing has got to go. Can’t believe we’re saying this but... bring on the snow.

Goodbye Booty Shorts

BULLSHIT

Cold weather brings fall fashion to a head. The days of booty shorts are long gone, now replaced with the considerably more pleasant sweaters, jeans, and funky boots. (Note: While many of the members of Generation oppose leggings as a fashion statement, this editor says, “follow your heart.” I’ll take leggings over daisy dukes any day!)

Ugg Attack

Election Day November 6th. 2012 If you’re 18 or older, we hope you’re registered to vote. Be sure to get to the polls or send in your absentee ballot in time to have your vote count.

This is the one day a year we get to have our voices heard in politics!

HIT

The Uggs are coming, the Uggs are coming! The shoe we love to hate is back for yet another season, with more gaudy and bizarre styles than ever. But no matter how UGGly these persistent slippers may be, they ARE quite comfortable, so again, follow your heart... if you really need to.

BULLSHIT

Life With Lee

Important lessons brought to you by our favorite Long Island Jew

Your Farmville > My Paper?

T

I Think Not!

o all the seniors who can claim they have senioritis: I hate you. I am not afforded that luxury, though I suppose I should be happy for those who already got into graduate school or secured their jobs for after graduation. For some of us, though, this is not the case. I frequent the library more often this semester than I have in my entire undergraduate career. My time in Lockwood and Capen has been so frequent that both libraries may start charging me rent. Capen might as well, I’ve fallen asleep on my books there more times than I can count.

It’s too bad that you cannot absorb information by just sleeping on the textbook. Precious procrastination time has allowed me the privilege of observing what goes on at the libraries and the cybrary. Although I admit that I am guilty of certain habits, some parts about library etiquette need to be addressed.

If you are using the computers in either Lockwood or Capen, please use it for work. I can’t even express the amount of times there was the longest line for computers, and there are so many assholes on Facebook. It’s great if you’d like to stay in contact with your girlfriend, since you guys haven’t seen each other for the full 20 minutes since she left for class, but be quick about it. There is a quickly growing line of people that need to use the computers to print things for class or actually do homework. Yes, I will have no problem shooting you death glares if you are playing games online when I need to print my timesheet. But I will also be angry because Lockwood Cybrary feels -8-

the need to take my beloved Starbucks Cinnamon Dulce Latte. There are express station computers I can spill coffee on, and there are computers in Capen that aren’t guarded from evil beverages, so why is there a strict watch on the Lockwood Cybrary? And speaking of the express stations, people need to learn. Express. It means quick. Be swift. I may be biased, being from the New York City area, but be fast. You are allotted 15 minutes.

I used the express station once and a girl next to me was watching lectures for what looked like her accounting class. On an express station computer.

Clearly the word ‘express’ was lost on her, because when the computer signed her out after 15 minutes, she panicked, logged back in, and proceeded to watch lectures again. Did I mention there were people waiting in line to use a computer?

Common complaints in libraries are that people are being too loud. I’m going to roll with that.

I’m not saying that I should hear a mouse scurry around the library (I really shouldn’t though, because that’s absolutely disgusting), but sometimes people think they are whispering when, really, I can hear everything they just said. And I’m three tables away. Thanks for telling the entire fourth floor that you think you may have an STD. If you are engaging in loud gossip hour or are group studying, go somewhere else. I don’t particularly care why you and Alyssa broke up, nor does the girl two tables away who is studying Orgo and is close to tears. Also, why do people watch movies in the library? Is that study cube in Lockwood really that comfortable that you want to enjoy the latest

Article By: Lee Auslander

illegally downloaded cinematic masterpiece on a wooden bench? If so, I’d recommend headphones, since hearing America’s favorite dysfunctional family on the latest episode of Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo is definitely not the appropriate background noise for an educational setting.

Low whispering is all right as I understand sometimes people need to ask their study buddy a simple question. When people speak at proper volume for a library, it doesn’t bother others or me. What bother me are the “shushers.” People who shush others are a different class of library dwellers.

They don’t seem to understand that their shushing is just as loud, if not louder than the whispers of the poor people they just startled. I was at Lockwood Library with a friend and she barely had a whisper out of her mouth when we were shushed so loudly I thought some bizarre alarm went off.

After one of her infamous death glares, he left us alone, but not before shushing a girl who had the nerve to drop her book. How dare she.

Look people, I’m not asking for a lot here as I finish off my final year at UB. All I’m asking is that you take a page from Emily Post a learn some library/cybrary etiquette so that we can cohabitate in peace. I’ll leave you alone to procrastinate with your True Blood reruns as long as you don’t disturb me and my actual studying.

What’s your scariest middle school moment?

Article By: The Editors

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his one time in the 7th grade I got a really terrible haircut. Bad doesn’t even begin to describe how horrendous it looked. Essentially it looked like a blind person with carpal tunnel took a lop sided bowl, placed it on my head, and snipped away. Unfortunately, I did not realize how bad it truly was at the time and embraced it as a great haircut. This all changed however, when the self-designated bitch of my gym class, Sarah, decided to tell me how horrible it was in front of everyone.

Usually I am not a crier, but something about her comments sent me into a sobbing fit. Strangely enough though, the entire gym got behind me and Sarah faced the wrath of my classmates. She eventually apologized and I accepted. Sadly, that event did not affect her life very much and she ended up being an even bigger bitch in high school.

E

verybody had their phases, and when I was 14, mine (I regret to say) was a “goth wannabe” phase. This is different from goth because, firstly, I didn’t have the money to throw away carelessly on hair dye and chain pants, and secondly, I would become a situational “un-goth” for things like family dinners, chorus concerts, etc. So my wardrobe basically consisted of Good Charlotte T-shirts and lots and lots of eyeliner, with the occasional fingerless glove or black nail polish accent. It was hard for me to blend with the rest of the goth kids because I was far, FAR too happy, so I ended up being the one kid who, in a mostly normal-looking group of friends, was dressed in head-to-toe black with raccoon eyes and a shit-eating grin. Oh, the majesty of youth! broke my leg in middle school and everyone proceeded to try to be my best friend because it is just SO cool to be in a wheelchair. Especially when

I

your freak of a science teacher decides to jump up behind you, push your wheelchair onto two back wheels and screech, “pop a wheelie!” I nearly had a heart attack the first time he did it because I thought I was falling backwards. Or when your social studies teacher wheels you to the next class proclaiming, “excuse me, excuse me…there’s a woman with a baby, here! Excuse me!” Of course, I had to break it in sixth grade, not in seventh grade, when gym class required we learn how to square dance. So embarrassing.

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he only detention I ever got was in middle school and I didn’t even do anything! My friend and I were dicking around in the hallway and he punched me in the friendliest way possible. Unfortunately, a teacher came around the corner right at that exact moment and proceeded to act like this was the biggest deal in the history of the world. The next day, I was in the principal’s office, promising that this wasn’t a case of bullying and that I wasn’t being physically threatened by my friend. My dad had called in saying that I should get whatever punishment the other guy got, so they gave me an afterschool detention for “horseplay in the hallway.” I’m pretty sure they just made that up.

S

itting in my desk, face crammed in my exam and all I’m thinking about is finishing it on time and passing. Then what I thought could only happen in nightmares, a teenage girl’s worst fear. My monthly friend decides to visit me, perfect timing! What do I do now? Getting up is not an option; it’s sipping right through my light blue jeans. Everyone would see it, they would make fun of me, and how embarrassing would that be. So I sit there and wait and wait. Then

luckily, my girlfriends came over to me and asked me what was wrong. I told them quietly and they quickly reacted. When I went to get up I noticed that I left my mark on the chair. My face turned cherry red, my palms got sweaty, and I was awfully embarrassed. I ended up walking around all day with a sweater tied around my waist.

I

n middle school, I had this pair of white terrycloth pajama pants. Now, if you don’t know what terrycloth is, it’s a kind of fabric that is used to make soft bathrobes and the like. I never wore pajamas to school, but one day, after seeing so many people wearing them to class, I decided I’d give it a try. Of course, I picked a rainy day and although the threat of my pants becoming see-through was bad enough, it got worse. As I walked towards the front doors of the school, I slipped and fell right on my ass in the mud. I had just taken my gym clothes home to wash.

Needless to say, I spent a whole day explaining to people that I hadn’t shit my pants and had to throw out my favorite pair of pajamas. Lesson learned.

B

ack when I was a wee Carlton, I sat down in a wad of freshly chewed gum. Which meant I had to wear my gym shorts for the rest of the day. Unfortunately for me, it was during our swim unit. You can’t wear gym shorts if they are soaked. So I had to dig through the lost and found for shorts or pants.

This led to me wearing sky blue girl shorts as a sixfoot tall boy, while I figured out how to get the gum off. Needless to say, the situation only worsened through out the day as each time I needed to bend over to get something from my people got a rather sexy view of my Superman boxers.

-9-

PULSE

The 95% Article By: Laura Borschel

L

ooking back on my childhood, I remember the 90’s quite well. It was a glorious time where I, and many other kids for that matter, ran around in overalls, jelly sandals, and Hanson T-shirts, while listening to the “NOW” albums and dreaming that one day we too could be a Sailor Scout and snag our own Tuxedo Mask. Okay, maybe that was just me, but I digress. Point is the 90’s were great for virtually every reason, the music, the fashion, and the great slang. The only thing greater than all of these things combined was the television in the 90’s.

earliest memories are of sitting in front of the TV and watching my favorite puppet buddies and eight-foot tall yellow bird sing and teach the finer points of the alphabet.

Unbeknownst to me at the time, countless number of children across the world and I were a part of something much greater.

We were apart of a long line of generations of children who had watched and fell in love with Sesame Street and PBS. A

Big Bird, Bert and Ernie, and Oscar the Grouch.

As an adult (on the outside anyways), I never once doubted the fate of Sesame Street, or PBS for that matter, because I knew what Sesame Street meant to children. In a child’s world, everything is fantastical and magical; LEGOs function as the national currency, ten minute time outs make you a hardened criminal, a Barbie dream house

-10-

I was shocked. Knowing that the funding for PBS makes up less than one percent of public funding, I wondered what effect this would have on the current and future generations who would not experience PBS. Then, it hit me. Romney just couldn’t relate to the average three or four year old television watcher. He was born before Sesame Street premiered in 1969, and by then was already married. If someone were to tell the 1996 four-year old version of myself of Romney’s intentions, I along with 95% of my fellow preschoolers would have organized a rebellion that would have made the Rugrat adventures look like child’s play.

Any 20-something year old college student who grew up with 90’s TV will tell you that they would have traded all their pogs, even the slammers, to get back to the golden age where kids shows ruled with a slime covered fist. Us 90’s kids were so in love with our television sets that we totally would have married them. From Pepper Ann, Cow and Chicken, Aaahh!!! Real Monsters, Hey Arnold, ReBoot, and The Amanda Show; we had it made. We were educated and exposed to a wide range of topics like cooperation, making new friends, child neglect, alcoholism, stalking, and what its like to be an orphan. Despite all of these great life lessons that we would hold onto for the rest of our lives, there was one channel that stood out and held a special place in our hearts, PBS. PBS was a place where all of us could escape to at any time and follow Arthur, Mr. Rogers, or even Bob Ross. The real draw however, was Sesame Street. Any hip and with it 3-6 year old would have told you exactly how to get to Sesame Street.

As one of these children, some of my

religion seem flaky. Knowing this, I was shocked when I heard that if elected, Mitt Romney would eliminate all funding for PBS, consequently killing Sesame Street.

Unfortunately, kids today do not have the resources or the proper tools to act on such a vendetta. That is why us, the 95%, the past generations of seasoned Sesame Street watchers have to advocate for them. We must dig into our memories and fight for those who cannot yet stand up for themselves, both physically and metaphorically.

survey done in 1996 found that 95% of all American preschoolers had watched the show by the time they were three years old. Since the 90’s, new generations of kids have grown up with and discovered their first childhood obsession, with Elmo,

means you’re in the upper middle class, and Sesame Street is the only acceptable polytheistic religion. To little kids, Big Bird, Elmo, and Oscar the Grouch have god-like statuses and levels of devotion that could make any devoted believer in organized

We must take action 90’s kids; we must rise up and reclaim one of the last things that we grew up with that didn’t change or become outdated. We must be good neighbors and take this problem to the street! After all, I want future generations to know how to get to Sesame Street.

PULSE

Think the

ote

Article By: Eric M. Carlson

S

o who are you voting for? Wait, don’t answer, it makes no difference to me. What is important, however, is why you vote for whomever. Most people vote based on the D or R next to their name without doing any research, or thinking for that matter. The media will frame the issues for you, but they don’t identify the truly important criteria.

In the 1980 presidential election, then candidate Ronald Reagan famously asked Americans, “are you better off now than 4 four years ago?” This proved devastating to his opponent Jimmy Carter’s reelection campaign. So naturally in the spirit of nostalgic Republican resurrection of the glory days of Reagan, they have posited the same question to the 2012 electorate. And whether or not you can say we are better off as a country is of little concern. The question as it’s posed is a personal one, but it misses the point anyway.

As time goes by, things tend to improve. Four years ago I was in high school and had accomplished precious little. Now as a senior in college I know beyond a doubt I am better off. In four years from now I’ll be finished with law school and am confident in saying I’ll be better off again. None of these personal events touch at all on national politics. Despite the fact people argue over the size and scope of government, it rarely affects our personal triumphs and tribulations. So it seems to be an irrelevant question.

Now, it might seem reasonable to suggest that researching a candidate’s policy preferences is the best way to find your match. This is an apparition. It does not matter what your presidential candidate says he or she will do, because they won’t do it. It’s always amusing how every election cycle a candidate proposes big solutions and people act surprised when it is never accomplished. This is due to the president’s policy initiatives being filtered through the swamp known as Congress. A president can say whatever they want, but it’s not happening that way. All of the fringe partisans get to alter the policy.

makes the president the sole major foreign policy actor. Think about it. In times of international crisis we don’t have time to wait for Congress to screw it up. We need an executive who is decisive and acts quickly. When the enemies are at the gate, we need a leader, not someone who waits for opinion polls to be their guide. But also, the president is the U.S. ambassador to the world. Would we want to send some inexperienced fool to a negotiation table with unfriendly foreign leaders? I didn’t think so.

A great example is the Cuban Missile Crisis. We are in the midst of the 50th anniversary of the event in October. The Soviets placed nuclear missile silos on Cuba with the intent of firing upon the U.S in the event we fired our own nukes stationed in Turkey at the time. Both countries were playing a twisted game of “Chicken”. In a situation such as this, I want a president who can stand firm but doesn’t become engulfed in arrogance and makes the ultimate mistake. Fortunately, President Kennedy was worthy for the cause and disaster was averted. A strong leader is necessary as commander and chief and that should be how you analyze the candidates.

The second area is a candidate’s personal convictions. Which candidate understands your position in life and better emphasizes with your situation. As a college student, I want a candidate who understands the burden of student loan debt or trying to find a first job in a weak economy. It might seem inherently selfish to vote for a person this way, but we have to take care of our own first and foremost. There is a saying that people vote with their wallets. I think that notion is inextricably linked to a candidate’s personal views. We equate many personal virtues with how we handle money, so it is an appropriate test.

I would caution on using religion as a criteria. Religion and politics are like oil and water. They don’t mix and they pervert each other.

The most I could hope for is to get you to think. Don’t just mindlessly phone in your vote. Have the courage to cross the Rubicon to the other guy if you find him appealing. We are stuck with this person for 4 very important years, There are two useful areas to analyze presidential candidates, personal convic- so let’s get this right! tions and foreign policy. Let’s start with the latter. By design, the Constitution -11-

HOMECOMING 2012

HE SAID Jeepers Creepers!

How can I tell if a girl wants to be stalked? Is there a stalk market or something like that?

SS: The stalk market is no laughing matter. It has been on a steady incline since the invention of “poking,” but is finally taking a dive with the invention of the “message seen at ___ o’clock” time stamp. As far as your secret admiration goes, if she owns a pair of yoga pants, she doesn’t mind being stalked. Creep away.

HS: It’s pretty much impossible to stalk a girl. All they do is sit at home waiting for you to call anyway. As long as you stick to the three day rule and the Bro Code, you’re good. Anytime you pay attention to a girl they will just think you’re being cute or whatever they call it. It’s the girls you gotta watch out for, looking through your phone or email’s or...internet history.

Is it better to creep on people that you don’t know on Facebook or in real life?

SS: Well it depends on what you’d like the outcome to be. For example, if you’d like to show them off to your friends for some down-home American public shaming, Facebook would be the way to go. If you’d like to maybe light a few candles and get handsy to their photo, Facebook leaves no incriminating evidence. (Careful not to lean on the “like” button!) But if you’re really looking for the fairy-tale romance and riveting adrenaline rush of a live encounter, there’s nothing like an old fashioned “tree outside the dorm room” stakeout.

HS: If you add a bunch of hot chicks on Facebook, you’re just going to get a bunch game invites and a newsfeed full of Pinterest posts. Then there’s the angles in the pictures that make them look way hotter than they are in real life. Go for the real deal.

I heard Mitt Romney has binders full of women. How can I get put in a binder by my favorite politician?

SS: I regret to inform you that based on the fact you were able to ask this question, I’m assuming you exist. This poses a conflict because if your politician could actually say you were in the binder, he (or she, or she!) would obviously be telling the truth, which would cause the whole schema of politics to collapse in on itself like a dying star.

HS: Let’s be honest, that’s basically how Facebook started, although it was a virtual binder where they rated women, and it wasn’t a rich politician but a cranky computer nerd that started it. If you really want to get into a politician’s binder, I would suggest hanging out with Zuckerberg.

SHE SAID Article By: Keighley Farrell and Gabe Gosset might stand behind you and tell you that you have a pretty mouth, so it’s best to sit in the very back of the bus.

BUT, the creepers might try to take a photo down your shirt while they’re standing up, or stick a hand up your skirt/down your Dockers, so to be safe, you should be constantly zipped into a sleeping bag. TRIPLE BUT, they might not stop there! They might try to climb in with you, so as a LAST precaution, make sure you mumble demonic chants to scare them away.

To think, you almost looked like such a weirdo with your USED car!

HS: Chicks dig cars so it’s important you have a car that says the right things about you. Tinted windows might seem creepy but girls love them and think they’re totally romantic. You know, so you can have some privacy.

Girls also love sound systems. When you pick them up for a date, you gotta blast your favorite song with the bass all the way up so she knows just how cool you are. Make sure there’s some garbage in your car too. She needs to know her place right away, and she’ll probably appreciate that you’re not a total nerd that cleans up after himself.

What kind of car would a creeper drive? In other words, what used car should I not buy?

Every guy that creeps on me is really ugly. Why don’t cute guys like Hugh Laurie ever sit in the bushes outside my dorm room?

SS: Don’t be creeper racist. Their vehicles come in all shapes and sizes, they’ve evolved far past the days of windowless vans. The only way you can be safe is to take the bus absolutely everywhere. But, the creepers

SS: They do. But like with all things, the more attractive you are, the better at everything you are. So as long as you are looking for handsome creeps, they WILL NOT be found. Mark my words.

HS: Because any guy that’s worth it is probably hitting the gym to get ripped.

Try going to the gym and use anything except the treadmill. As long as you’re using the equipment correctly, some guy will probably come up to you and try to help you out. Even if you think what they say is wrong, you should listen to them because they buy the bulk case of protein powder at Walmart so they definitely know more about fitness than you.

I just watched The Hangover, and they refer to roofies as “roofalin”.

This is total bullshit. It’s called rohypnol. It’s not even that hard to pronounce the correct term. I seriously hate The Hangover. F**k those guys.

SS: I see someone gets a tad touchy about their date-rape drugs.

HS: …

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Article By: Paul Stephan

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lmost every student knows someone who uses study drugs. Substances like Adderall and Ritalin, prescribed to treat ADD and ADHD, are commonly used by college students while studying or taking exams. A study drug is no magic pill – it won’t make you smarter or guarantee good grades – but it does improve concentration, allowing students to study more intensely and for longer periods of time.

Hasan, a junior, was prescribed a generic form of Adderall five months ago. He finds it helps him concentrate, and hasn’t felt any severe side effects. He told me, “before I started taking it, I remember being so against it. I remember thinking that people who did take it had an unfair advantage over students who didn’t take it.” His attitude changed after he found it really helped him concentrate. He now sees Adderall as a means of leveling the playing field for those with attention problems.

Estimates on the percentage of college students using Adderall vary wildly, ranging from 6% to 25%. I spoke to seven UB students to better understand how this and other study drugs are used here at the University at Buffalo.

What I found surprised me. I started my research for this piece expecting, quite naively, that students could be divided into users and non-users, and that some users had prescriptions while others were abusing the substance. But the more I spoke with students, and with a medical expert, the more the lines became blurred. While a few students use study drugs regularly, many have used them only once or twice. Furthermore, I found no clear distinction between those who truly “need” study drugs and those who are “abusing” them. The world of study drugs is remarkably muddy, and this article aims to reflect some of that muddiness.

“When we all go into a classroom, and the professor is about to speak, we’re all starting off at 100% attention. But the one person with the deficiency is starting off at 50%, so it’s really not an unfair advantage. What the Adderall will do is take you from the 50 up to 100, so now we’re all starting at 100%. So come exam time, the only thing it’s going to do is give us all an equal opportunity to get an A or an F.” Hasan told me.

Self-Medication While Heather and Hasan were prescribed study drugs, many students use them without prescription, getting them quite cheaply and easily from friends. Do these students have attention problems that require treatment, in the same way their prescribed colleagues do? If not, are they participating in an unfair or dangerous endeavor?

As Prescribed “I don’t think I would even have been in college if I wasn’t prescribed this stuff.”

Heather (Some names have been changed) is a junior at the University at Buffalo and has been taking attention-enhancing drugs on and off since third grade. Over the years she has been prescribed Adderall, Concerta, Ritolin, Strattera and Vyvanse. While she acknowledges the negative side effects that the medications often bring, she feels her experience with them has been beneficial overall.

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Jesse, now a senior at UB, was prescribed Adderall in early high school but quit using it because he feared it would become a crutch. As he progressed through college, his schedule became overbooked and his workload became exceedingly difficult. “I realized I couldn’t spend 20 to 25 hours on an exam, because I couldn’t focus enough to concentrate all the information I needed to.” To help him stay up and to focus, he began drinking caffeine, but that bred its own problems as he developed stomach ulcers.

A few weeks ago, Jesse had a number of big exams coming up. He bought four 10mg pills of Adderall from a friend and stayed up for 48 hours, studying through several consecutive nights.

“I don’t procrastinate. I just take on too much stuff.” Jesse made it clear that those using study drugs aren’t lazy people trying to cram last minute. Many simply have too many items on their plate, or have difficulty concentrating for hours on end, or are under pressure to hold a high GPA. In every case reported to me for this article, study drug use was prompted by upcoming exams. Use of these substances spikes during midterm and finals weeks, and market prices for them jump accordingly at those times.

Simon, a junior, has used Concerta (a different brand of the drug Ritalin) on a few occasions. He got the substance for free from a friend at the end of last semester, and used them when studying for a physics final. While he doesn’t want to become dependent on study drugs, he did say he would use them again, “if I knew someone that wanted to sell some, and I had finals coming up or something.”

Most students reported satisfaction with their use of study drugs, but many also experienced side effects. Heather experiences a loss of appetite, bad breath, and reduced sex drive. Chris, a sophomore, said, “You’re basically on edge the whole time.” One of the most reported side effects is insomnia. Ali, a senior, said that taking Ritalin even an hour later than usual can keep him up at night.

Study drugs also carry a risk of dependency, and students often build up a tolerance to them over time. Adderall is an amphetamine, putting the drug in the same category as cocaine and meth, and it creates many of the same effects, both positive and negative.

An Expert’s Perspective While Adderall is a necessary medication for some, for others it’s a performance enhancer outside of any prescribed medical use. Still others recognize its danger and put it in a category with cocaine. Which of these is right?

I posed this question to Dr. Don Vereen, the Director of the University of Michigan’s Substance Abuse Research Center and former deputy drug czar under both Bill Clinton and George W. Bush.

“Every description you gave is true.” He explained that study drugs are simultaneously medications, performance enhancers, and dangerous substances.

These drugs were originally developed to treat ADD and ADHD, and many physicians and students see this as their only acceptable use.

in general,” Vereen said. He added that students self-medicating also have, “not much information on how it will interact with them specifically.” Students who haven’t consulted a medical professional are at risk of taking outsize doses and using the drug in ways that can harm their health.

“It is serious, it is like coke for many people, and it is dangerous.” Vereen is not necessarily opposed to those without a diagnosed disorder using study drugs, but feels this should be done under a physician’s care. “If you want to take it as a performance enhancer, I’m okay with that as long as you go through your doctor.”

The Culture Woven through this entire discussion is culture. Jeremy, a junior transfer student to UB, started using Adderall at his old school because it seemed that everyone else was. Of course, peer pressure influences individuals to do all sorts of things, from not cutting in line to wearing Ugg boots, but that’s not the only kind of cultural influence that has caused increases in study drug use.

Dr. Vereen drew parallels between today’s study drug boom and the rise of powder cocaine use in the 1980s. At that time, young urban professionals inhabited a culture of success and hard work. Along came a drug that allowed users to work harder and longer, and an epidemic was born. In our 21st century culture where high GPAs and packed résumés are rewarded with lucrative job opportunities, we should expect greater study drug use for the same reasons.

Any attempt to stem the rise of study drugs will have to address the uber-achievement culture that has penetrated modern America. But do we event want to stem this rise?

As I mentioned earlier, most students are glad that they decided to use these substances, despite their negative side effects. Doctors are prescribing them more, feeling that they’re aiding those who need them. And if we’re going to accept the use of Adderall and Ritalin for those with ADHD, then at what point do we cut off access for those who fail to meet the formal diagnosis? The border between use and abuse is shockingly thin and ill-defined.

The world that I briefly toured while writing this piece is a messy one that requires more study and reflection. Most importantly, though, the problem of study drugs, if we can call it a problem, is not confined to the purview of “drug abusers” or even to users. This is an issue of ambiguity, and of responsibility, and of irresponsibility, and of society. As a society, we must address it.

But the line between this “legitimate” medical use and its use as a performance enhancer is extremely blurry, and doctors are often left making judgment calls. The Diagnostic Statistical Manual (DSM) is the reference that psychiatrists use to diagnose psychological disorders. For example, the DSM states that a person must exhibit six different symptoms from a list to be diagnosed with ADHD. But as Dr. Vereen explained, many physicians interpret these guidelines loosely. If someone only exhibits four of the symptoms of ADHD, but those symptoms are severe and debilitating, then the person might still receive a positive diagnosis. If a patient exhibits 7 symptoms, but they’re mild, then he may not be diagnosed.

And sometimes patients ask for Adderall and other substances to help them do better in school or at their job, not because they feel they have a diagnosed disorder. If a drug is allowing someone to function better, does it matter whether or not they meet formal diagnostic standards?

It’s a difficult balance, according to Vereen, and physicians often try to weigh the costs and benefits in each individual case when prescribing these substances.

Adderall can be dangerous, particularly for those who use it without a prescription.

“The problem is you’re taking a substance that you don’t have good information about

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BuffaLove

Like Ice Cream Trucks…

Only Better!

Article By: Carlton N. Brock The Third

W

hen we were little we used to pester our parents about the never ending desire for ice cream. We’d beg and plead and even sing, “I scream, you scream we all scream for ice cream.” And as little kids, there was nothing better than hearing the familiar music of the ice cream truck. Anyone that has experienced this knows that the ice cream truck is no laughing matter. In fact the ice cream truck became a staple of my life. Alas childhood has ended for me.

But the fascination of food being delivered and ordered from a truck has not ended. Instead it has evolved into a being a full grown desire for more. And where there is a desire there is always someone willing to capitalize on it.

Enter Buffalo’s quickly rising trend: The Food Truck. Yes, you just read correctly there are now food trucks in Buffalo. And they are fairly impressive. The concept of the food truck is the same as that of it’s frozen dessert serving cousin. It is a truck that delivers food. Definitely a must enjoy item that is now part of Buffalo food tradition.

Perhaps the easiest way to catch one of these tasty trucks is to visit one of Buffalo’s many festivals. The food trucks were available in full force at events like The Taste of Buffalo and the Music is Art Festival. You might be able to note them by their unique designs, the long lines of people emitting from their service windows or simply by the fact that it’s a truck, parked where a food stand generally would be in the given situation.

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But is the food any good? Yes, yes it is. Urban Spoon, an app and website that monitors restaurants has several reviews of several Buffalo’s Food Trucks. The ratings here based on a combination of blogs and user submitted reviews find the Food Trucks serviceable, if not fantastic. For example, Lloyd’s Taco Truck, a lime green food service vehicle that boast the honor of being Buffalo’s first food truck has a rating of 89% on the website.

Buffalo Spree also rated the same truck highly favorable giving it between four and five spoons for the categories of ambience, cleanliness, food quality and service. The magazine went on to say, “If you are lucky enough to happen upon Lloyd, make sure you stop and try their fare. I’m sure that once you do, you too will be singing the praises of our pioneer taco truck.”

Quality food and high reviews has been a continuing trend among the food trucks. The Roaming Buffalo, another truck which posts it’s location via Twitter (@RoamingBuffalo1), has seen highly positive reviews as well. BuffaloEats.org gave a review of the truck specializing in burgers a review that matched the quality of most sit down restaurants.

If tacos and burgers aren’t your thing, The Whole Hog might be worth your while. This truck focusing on barbeque has a slightly higher price range than the previously stated, but the food is also noted to be a bit closer to home. All of the ingredients and

specialties are local Buffalonian traditions. Definitely something that anyone from the area or people that want to double up on their speedy education of Buffalo foods can utilize.

The only real caveat to the idea of food trucks is location.

Due to the mobile nature of the concept, your favorite truck may not be in the same place every day or even every hour. To conquer this issue you should take the time and follow them on Twitter, like your favorite truck on Facebook or simply visit their websites for available schedules of locations. Lloyd’s information can be found on Whereslloyd.com. Likewise The Roaming Buffalo has taken advantage of the whole gamut of social media tweeting and posting locations along with their website theroamingbuffalo.org. Disappointingly The Whole Hog’s website and social media presence was underdeveloped as of this writing, their website’s calendar showed up as nonexistent.

If you’re in the market for something new definitely give the growing trend of Food Trucks a try. Don’t just do it because you read about in an article, though that is a good reason. Don’t just do it to satisfy your stomach, do it to satisfy that growing urge you’ve ignored since you were an adolescent, do it for the love of eating food from a truck!

BuffaLove

UPCOMING CONCERTS Sum 41

•Everyone’s favorite early 2000’s band Sum 41 is playing Wednesday, November 7 at the Town Ballroom. Other acts include I am Dynamite.

Ticket Price: $20 in advance Address: 681 Main Street Buffalo, NY 14023 Doors Open: 7 pm

Big Gigantic

•Big Gigantic, an electronic band from Boulder Colorado is playing with Crizzly Monday, November 5 at the Town Ballroom.

Ticket Price: $17 in advance Address: 681 Main Street Buffalo, NY 14023 Doors Open: 7 pm

Yelawolf

•Yelawolf, the popular rapper is coming to the Town Ballroom Wednesday, October 31. Opening acts include with Rittzr, Trouble Andrew, and DJ Vara.

Ticket Price: $21 in advance, $25 at the door Address: 681 Main Street Buffalo, NY 14023 Doors Open: 7 pm

Cyprus Hill

•The southern California based hip-hop group Cyprus Hill is performing Thursday, November 1 at the Town Ballroom along side Action Bronson.

Ticket Price: $28 in advance, $32 at the door Address: 681 Main Street Buffalo, NY 14023 Doors Open: 7 pm

Ron Hawkins and the Do Good Assassins

•The Canada-based band Ron Hawkins and the Do Good Assassins are playing at Mohawk Place Friday, November 2.

Ticket Price: $15 in advance, $17 at the door Adress: 46 E. Mohawk Street Buffalo, NY 14023 Doors Open: 8 pm

Badfish

•The Sublime tribute band Badfish is playing along side the band Scotty Don’t Saturday, November 3.

Ticket Price: $17 in advance Address: 681 Main Street Buffalo, NY 14023 Doors Open: 7 pm

Dear Student Life, OK, you get it, students are more than peeved about a few sections of the proposal that you neglected to label “Proposal” (only the boogey man knows how much grief that simple term could have saved you). Do you foresee professors endorsing clubs (whether openly or simply by affiliation as an advisor) potentially creating conflicts with the classroom learning experience? If I am a raging Republican and my Poly Sci professor is the staff advisor for College Democrats, will I feel safe sharing my opinions in class? There goes my grade security. Tom Tiberi (by the way, Tom, thank you for your time on Sunday) made it clear that Student Life is committed to providing any “orphaned” club with an interim advisor until they are able to find one. “Student Life staff currently does and will continue to offer advisement to any student group that asks for help,” he explained to me via email. Quite honestly I am sick of talking about clubs being required to have staff advisors, we spent forever talking about it last Sunday. Let’s take a look at what I believe caused all of this.

Last year there were two, major, unprecedented problems in the Undergraduate SA. The $300k gumball account and the IVCF discrimination issue. The prior would naturally lead you to want to crack down on our rights and liberties, as this is wholly an ethical fail. After months of careful consideration, we (the SA Senate) finally voted on the latter situation and the club was derecognized. This de-recognition was countered by SWJ’s Chief Justice when he interpreted that there was a difference between being a member and a leader of a club. I believe in no such difference between a club’s exclusivity rights from general members to leaders, so I fully support Rule 3.

As a student government we have failed, repeatedly and miserably, in regulating ourselves in a few situations. However, I do not view a blanket policy as the most appropriate or effective way to address these situations. The issues addressed by this proposal were totally unrelated. If this had been broken down into several propositions over a few months the responses would be more manageable. Additionally, by entirely eliminating any type of dual recognition, the campus community will suffer, specifically academic clubs. Engineering clubs are reliant on their department for the space and greatly benefit from the finances and services they gain from SA. It takes both sectors of the UB community to support major projects such as building a Nano Satellite (GLADOS). These projects are the exact reason why many perspective students take interest in this school in the first place. Don’t take that away from us.

In sum, your policy has its merits. Personally, I would prefer a campus community free of hazing. The first attempt at implementation was clearly too aggressive but, if we work together, I am confident we can find some common ground.

Sincerely,

Kittie Pizzutelli

OPINION

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LITERARY

I

Summer Nostalgia

walked outside, preoccupied with self-centered thoughts of my future, when I was suddenly hit with a sweet and lazy summer breeze. It wrapped around my shoulders, enveloping me entirely. It eased my heavy mind and to my surprise, supplanted memories that I thought were lost were on my tongue. The memories of you washed over me slowly like the gradual ebb and flow of the lake in mid-July. As I walked onward, I could feel the heat of our house in early June, which had always caused me to lie in front of the television in a drowsy and sedated state. I could hear the opening of the screen door that never seemed to be fixed, which signaled your arrival back home. I would peak around the corner and observe you quietly. The sun reflected off of your large square glasses and that same shade of blond hair as my own, while you put away your lunch box and turned on the radio. Your focus on the soft drone of the voices that seemed to go with you everywhere allowed me to watch you a little bit longer. I viewed you in awe, my eyes always starting with your clunky brown dress shoes that you would eventually discard in the living room. Next came the tan trousers and button-up dress shirt that were always ironed to perfection. (This of course was Mother’s doing.) Sooner or later you would catch the copy of your own deep blue eyes peering around the corner and give me a whimsical look.

Do you remember the summer I came across that picture of you and Mom from 1980? I just about freaked out when I came across it. At that time, as you remember, you were 35 and Mom was 25. And of course as I always say, you looked about 10 years younger than you actually were. It always amuses me, whenever I look at you, in a photo or in present real time, how much we have in common. I told you recently, that I aim to be just as honorable, principled, and as moral as you, and in true “you” fashion, you said humbly with a chuckle, “ why me? I think you can pick someone a little better.” I proceeded to tell you that I put you right up there alongside Atticus Finch. I see a lot of parallels between the two of you and it makes me so proud that I can call you my father. You have always been my Atticus. You will always be my Atticus. I just hope that I will always be your Scout, and make you proud even under the pressure of adversity. Like Dale Cooper and Atticus, (I don’t care if it’s not “human” or right to do this) I put you up on a pedestal for what I base my principles off of. While you are quiet are non-combative, you hold strong and are unwavering in your principles. You are my Atticus.

Article By: Laura Borschel

LITERARY Happy Halloween!

If you would like to submit to Generation please email any poems or short stories to ubgeneration@gmail.com This week’s submissions come from English Major, Athira Unni and from the planet Cybertron, Megatron (Decepticons can do poetry?)

-Carlton Brock, Literary Editor

Any City In America

by Megatron

WheN iN DOuBT

By Megatron

Hand on new knees Now tapping to the beat of the freeway

Only five letters.

One syllable.

Better eat everything properly!

Yelled the man from the Chinese place

Just two vowels.

Simply three consonants.

Along with the woman arguing with The police about her parking ticket

It doesn’t mean to You What is means to Me

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT? Yeah, I’m talking to you

Hearts are destroyed because We can’t agree on One Meaning.

Screams the bus driver at the Overworked and underpaid patron

But is it wrong if it feels right?

Can it be right if it feels wrong?

A Seaside Hope

By Athira Unni Kindly has the salty breeze Blown its lazy hues away; On this golden seaside Has the wind come to play.

Dusky scenes of laid back leisure, Passeth slowly as in reel.

From my lonely little hut I could catch a glimpse of Thee..

Alas ! my mind spots the truth; ‘We hope to see what we need’ !

Every day the eyes could die But never see Thy lead.

He forgot to pay Another day another dollar Love will get you killed Promised the prostitute named sweetie You better not forget to pay Money is what makes the world go round And round The children on the wheel have never seemed happier Until the next time When they forget about all of this scene seen through the window everyone is coming and going time flies when you’re having fun or does it?

What constitutes time in a place Where time does not exist?

The thin line between Hate/&/Love/&/ Friends /&/Strangers Held to get her and Ripped a p a r t Bye uhh Firmly held belief Allegiance/Loyalty or Is it Just a naMe? Trusting the Truth/&/ Holding tight Just two people.

Simply three people.

Is there One truth?

Which is it?

What is it?

Aren’t We entitled to Our own opinion?

Behold this eve with all its gaietySo brilliant its calm ways..

I am (hark!) a sailor’s wife, Untiring ever, of eve’s last rays.

Feminine power is deep love, That’s loftier than those palms.

Come, a bout of ill fateYet, no Regret in her Psalms..

Ages shall pass , eons endure ; The grief shall cease one day.

A late eve, with a cup-o-tea The quiet sea; Eastern way..

Oh finally! how happy I’d be To see a ship sailing towards me!

The high mast and weary sails Like I always thought it to be..

That the Dawn I so hoped for?

My life shall be that long?

But much more should I ask of Self To live through this song..

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Parting Shots A Cornucopia of Bullshit UB needs to have a real break long before Thanksgiving break; how does it make sense that we have to work nonstop for three and a half months, then we’re out for the semester after another one? Every other school in a million mile radius gets some kind of “end of September” break, because that makes sense. We’re exhausted. And cranky. As punishment for their neglect, here is an enormous slew of things that I believe need to be revised: 1) Starbucks should be on meal plan, or at least dining dollars. I’ve got nothing against Timmy Ho’s, but sometimes I want something seasonal that doesn’t taste like poison.

2) There’s no reason for The Cellar to close earlier on the weekends, how does that

make sense? They should take a lesson from Sizzles and keep those kids working 24/7. (Or at least later than 11 pm.) More jobs, more happy students.

3) Professors should probably stop taking attendance, because if you don’t show up that’s your own fault. Some people can ace the test without coming to class, some people need the extra class time, all in all, we’re still paying thousands of dollars, so let us deal with the consequences when we’re old and decrepit.

4) The bookstore needs to stop charging the students MORE for the same products they could get elsewhere, it’s literally just greedy evil business tactics. We’re already paying a boatload of money to be here, why make us pay double for supplies?

Pick-Up Lines When, where and why the hell were pickup lines created? No, seriously, what ever happened to the simple “Hi, my name is _____ and you are?” This goes to both men and women, gay or straight; pick-up lines work every one in a trillion times and that one time is because you probably used it on a prostitute, so STOP…NOW! I personally have heard all kinds of pick-up lines and no, they have never and I mean NEVER got me to open my breadbasket.

One Thursday night after a night out with my friends, I was walking to my car from Chippewa. It was a good night. I took my younger sister out for the first time after having a long week working two jobs and being a full time student. To finish off a great night, a young man with sagging jeans and chain hanging “low to da flow” approached my friend and me. As you can tell he was quite the looker. He not only used one but two pick-up lines on us back to back. Pick up line number one was, “yah want a n*@#a with money?” First of

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Article By: Keighley Farrell 5) North Campus needs to get their own version of Michael Hall, because the last thing I want to do when I’m sick enough to NEED A DOCTOR is put myself onto a bus full of healthy strangers and ache my way across the city.

6) The Mall and Market bus should go to the Galleria. I know it’s farther, I know it will take longer, blah blah yadda yadda.

But even if there was an entirely different bus that went JUST to the Galleria, I would drive it there myself. There’s nothing good at the Boulevard mall. Except Yogen Früz.

They’re alright.

Article By: Dinorah Santos all, he was walking. No, not to his car, but to his home. I’m just taking a wild guess here, but I figure he has so much money that he pays people to do his errands so he doesn’t need to leave his home. Since he doesn’t need to leave his home why buy a car…right? His pick-up line did not work on us and he and his money got denied.

Crazy, right!? But this young man had some balls, he did not give up, he was on a mission. So, here goes pick up line number two, “yah want a n@#*a with a big d*ck?”

While he said this he pulled up his shirt, as if his stomach would influence our answer.

Even if he had a body like Tom Hardy it was too dark to see any details, so that was a FAIL. My friend and I just laughed at him and shooed him away. He was extremely angry that his well thought out pick-up lines did not work.

I personally dislike when they are used on me. It is not a good look and leaves a bad taste in my mouth. From a girl’s perspective, if you’re just interested in

her little kitty then at least pretend you are interested in her. Introduce yourself, if you don’t plan on ever seeing that person again then make up a name. Just make sure your friends do not blow up your spot, that would just be worse than the pick-up line you probably planned on using in the first place. Don’t go up to someone and be like “F@*k me if I’m wrong, but have I met you before?” and then get angry when you either get slapped, punched, or a drink thrown at your face, all before getting denied. If you are lucky, on a rare occasion she will leave with you right there and then, just make sure you still have your wallet by the end of the night.

Pick-up lines come in all different shapes and sizes, there is one for every person out there. Once in a blue moon one might work for you, all the other times they’re a waste of breath. Even if you just wanted to tickle a girl’s putty cat, or to see a man’s one-eyed snake, using a pick up line is not recommended.