Volume 30 Issue 14

an alternative voice since 1984

GENERATION MAGAZINE

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Issue:

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ubgeneration.com

Adios Seniors

! e m k c i p ! e pick m r a e n s i d n e e Th d a e d t ’ n s i y r ChivAL

Table of Contents

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5 EIC Letter Saying Goodbye 7 Agenda, Hit/BS Senior Thesis Show 8 Idiot Proofing UB Survival 9 UB Gaming Raving Mad 10 Governmental Change Change We Can Believe In 11 UB Promotions Self Promotion 15 He Said/She Said It’s The End 16 Senior Sendoffs More than a convention 19 Stay Vs. Go Should I Stay or Should I Go Now? 20 EIC Announcement Letter From Your New EIC 21 Spongebob Theory Spongebology 22 Parting Shots Missed Opportunities Gentlemen’s Agreement

Cover designed by Melissa Osterweil and Emily Butler, Photo taken by Dinorah Santos. Photo source from all credits goes to respective photographer. http://www.htbackdrops.com/v2/albums/userpics/10875/Spongebob. jpg (3),http://www.sugarbang.com (7) http://lushblackmail66.blogspot.com/2011/11/spongebob-squarepants-background.html (21), Generation Magazine is owned by Sub-Board I, Inc., the student service corporation at the State University of New York at Buffalo. The Sub-Board I, Inc. Board of Directors grants editorial autonomy to the editorial board of Generation. Sub-Board I, Inc. (the publisher) provides funding through mandatory student activity fees and is in no way responsible for the editorial content, editorial structure or editorial policy of the magazine.

Editorial and business offices for Generation are located in Suite 315 in the Student Union on North Campus. The telephoane numbers are (716) 645-6131 or (716) 645-2674 (FAX). Address mail c/o Room 315 Student Union University at Buffalo, Amherst, NY 14260.

Submissions to Generation Magazine should be e-mailed to ubgeneration@gmail.com by 1p.m. Tuesday, a week before each issue’s publication. This publication and its contents are the property of the students of the State University of New York at Buffalo 2011 by Generation Magazine, all rights reserved. The first 10 copies of Generation Magazine are free. Each additional copy must be approved by the editor in chief. Requests for reprints should be directed to the editor in chief. Generation Magazine neither endorses nor takes responsibility for any claims made by our advertisers. Press run 5,000. ≠≠≠

Editor’s Letter

T

his letter is supposed to be where I impart my final words of wisdom before leaving my post as Editor in Chief, but frankly, I’m not sure there is much to say in that department. I’ve spent the past three years on staff for this magazine and have loved every second of it. Even on the days where I was rewriting articles in the middle of production or chasing down staff for missing deadlines, I loved my job. If you ask me, that’s what really matters here: the fact that I had a job in college that I can honestly say I enjoyed.

The thing is though, this job could have just as easily been terrible. Deadlines, rewrites, late nights and early mornings can wear a person down. But what made it all enjoyable was the people I worked with, from the staff writers, to the editors, to the SBI staff over in corporate. Each and every person involved in this magazine made it that much better simply by coming into the office.

Every time I had to walk down to 341 SU, I was greeted by the warm, smiling faces of the office staff. And every time I asked a strange question (which there have been plenty of over the years), Roe always had an answer that made my job easier. Within the Generation staff, we had some of the most dedicated staff writers we have ever had. Eric, Kim, and Matt were at every production meeting like clockwork, armed with article ideas, and met deadline without a single complaint despite not getting paid. Without you guys, we would not have been able to churn out as much content as we have this year.

Then of course there were the editors. Jess and Brian, you guys were a pleasure to work with on business side, and thank you for keeping everything under control so I didn’t have to worry about it. Lee, it isn’t easy reading and editing everything that goes to print. Without you production would have been more chaotic and meetings would have been far less entertaining without your snarky comments on everything from geese to the strange things that happen on campus. Gabi, your dedication to this magazine while working and going to school full time is something I have admired since day one. Thank you for staying on top of the website and taking the initiative to create the magazine’s first dedicated gaming section.

Carlton, you were a fantastic Circulation Director, despite the fact that you “quit” on me after every run unless there were cookies when you got home. (Fun fact: he and I are actually roommates.) The fact that you took that on while still taking charge of the literary section says a lot about your character and what you are willing to do for your friends. He Said She Said could not have happened without you, Paul and Laura. No matter how crazy your topics got, I always looked forward to reading it and you guys could always make me laugh. I’m really going to miss our in depth discussions in the

office over the grotesque and Sarah Palin.

At the heart of every production week was our creative staff.

Dinorah, you are a great photographer, and I’m sure your work will continue to grow with your experience. Emily, your talent as a designer constantly impresses me. I can’t wait to walk down the street and see your work in a major ad campaign one day. And then of course there’s Melissa, who probably put in more hours than anyone else on staff this year. I know we got off to a rocky start, and only God knows how we got those first couple issues out on time, but I’m proud to now call you a friend as well as a co-worker.

Thank you for coming in at the strangest of hours to fix layout and for not killing me when I texted you at midnight asking questions about production. This magazine could not have happened without your talents as both a designer and a leader this year.

Generation Staff 2013 Editor in Chief Ally Balcerzak

Managing Editor Keighley Farrell

As I prepare to move out of my office, I know that I’ll be leaving Generation Magazine in good hands with Keighley, who will be taking over as Editor in Chief for Volume 31.

Keighley, Keighley, Keighley. We’ve had an interesting year, and I know there were times you questioned why I made you the Managing Editor as a sophomore, but you have impressed me time and time again this year. My final words of advice to you are this: choose your staff carefully, write everything down, but most of all, always hold onto your passion. Even on the most stressful of days when you have articles, paperwork and a mountain of homework to do, passion will remind you why it’s all worth it.

Creative Director Melissa Osterweil

On that note, it’s about time I wrapped this thing up. We’ve had a good run UB and I’m sure I’ll miss you at some point.

But for now, I’m ready to start the next phase of my life.

Good luck everyone!

Copy Editor Lee Auslander

See you in the real world.

Assistant Creative Director Emily Butler Photo Editor Dinorah Santos Web Editor Gabrielle Gosset

Associate Editors Laura Borschel Carlton Brock Paul Stephan Circulation Director Carlton Brock Business Manager Brian Kalish

Ally Balcerzak

Ad Manager Jessica Bornes Contributing Staff Angelina Bruno Eric Carlson

AGENDA

HIT T I H S L L U B OR

The Geese are Back!

It’s been a long cold lonely winter, but UB’s local population of Canadian geese is back. We’re in the middle of mating/egg-laying season, which means right now our favorite birds will be hissing at anyone who dares cross them.

Soon enoug, though, they’ll have adorable yellow chicks that will make it all seem worth it. Awww.

Graduation: Like every weekend in May

Goodbye seniors, goodbye doctors, goodbye everyone else earning their degree this May. We’ll miss you, but we are also silently cheering the fact that we’re moving up in the world.

Bathroom secrecy

HIT

One of our Associate Editors, who has been at UB for four years now, recently discovered a clean, accessible bathroom hidden in plain sight. It’s on the ground floor between Capen and Norton, in a hallway that randomly juts off to the North. Why hasn’t anyone publicized this before? Disclaimer: This may actually be a staff bathroom; proceed with caution.

BULLSHIT

Gay Marriage in France!

The French senate recently just passed a law that could potentially allow for same sex couples to adopt children and get married. We knew you would show your true colors someday.

Finals: May 1 - 10

With finals looming on the horizon, please make sure you’re all taking care of yourself. Drink lots of water, get plenty of sleep, and leave the boozing for the summer. No one is trying to watch you throw up on your physics final; ain’t nobody got time for that.

The Republican War on Sex

HIT

With actions like trying to defund Planned Parenthood, restricting abortion, cutting sex education funding in schools, and pushing for abstinence only education in schools, it is a wonder to realize that we live in the year 2013 not 1813.

BULLSHIT

It’s Almost the End!

Hallelujah and rejoice one and all! It’s almost the end of this academic year, and we are absolutely stoked. The seniors are preparing their caps and gowns, the rest of us are preparing our hangover cure kits. It’s the most wonderful time of year for the victims of higher education!

HIT

Senior Thesis: April 27, 2013: 6pm Hi-Temp Fabrication: 79 Perrty Street Buffalo, NY

Come support the undergraduate Visual Studies Seniors in their final show of the year!

IT’S ALMOST THE END!!!

We’re literally crying. What are we even going to do without this year’s seniors? We can’t believe that the semester is almost over; it feels like it just started a week ago! If we could somehow insert a hyperlink to Sara McLachlan’s “I Will Remember You” here, I totally would.

BULLSHIT

Idiot Proofing Life With Lee

Having been on this campus for nearly four years, I have seen many changes…some good and some bad. But when walking past Griener with a friend the other day, we realized that the sectioned rocks and grass in front of the building would be the worst place to fall into when someone is intoxicated, not able to walk properly, and has useless friends who encourage them to either drink more or smoke more. I have never been in said situation before but I have been the friend who has to take care of the person who could not hold their liquor; and it’s not fun. I shouldn’t have to save you from getting arrested because you insulted a cop while pissed drunk. Nor should I have to put you to bed, check up on you every few minutes, and roll you over when you continuously attempt to sleep on your back. True story.

There have been numerous situations during my college career where I looked at someone and thought to myself, did you really just do/say that? It’s not judging; it just means I have excellent assessment skills. It’s not just me who does it. I know you are all guilty. Friends admit to it, as do those who I would never call my friends. And in the spirit of that thought, the Generation staff has asked me to compile a list of how to idiot-proof campus.

ONE

Signs should be placed in the hallways in regards to how to properly walk. In America, we drive on the right side of the road. (My Australian friends have insisted that they drive on the ‘right’ side of the road. They are sadly mistaken.

And anyway, this is Amurica!) Since we drive on the right side of the road, we also walk on the right side of the hallway. There shall be lanes in each hallway so that you abide by these traffic laws. None of the hallways will be permitted to be one way only. If you are walking with a group of people, that’s wonderful. But you don’t need to walk next to each other and block everyone else. Furthermore, there will be speed minimums clearly listed in each hallway.

We will graciously take into account how tall/short everyone is and not specify the speed in terms of steps. The signs will have a red X on a turtle and a green check mark next to a picture of an Italian sports car. Think of it as exercise.

The faster you walk, the faster your calves will transform from chicken legs to chunks of muscle and will be ready for summer break. If a seasoned New Yorker can’t keep up with you, you are traveling at the optimum speed. And speaking of signs…

TWO

They should all be magical. As in, they will have flashing lights (one step below seizure-inducing flashes), bold letters and will fly at your face and won’t leave you alone until you have proven that you read it. There should even be signs telling you to read a sign. They exist for a reason. The same should happen with parking restrictions and syllabi. “I forgot,” is a weakling’s excuse. Syllabi should just attack, constantly reminding students about due dates and exam dates.

THREE

It’s not just idiots that do this, but when people are too loud in the library, there should be ninjas that shush people. I know someone who would love that; shushing is almost her hobby. There is a movie theater in England, called the Prince Charles Cinema that has an army of darkly clad ninjas who shush people who disturb the film. The same should be done with the campus libraries. Except Capen…we all know that’s a club.

FOUR

Every kitchen in the residence halls and the apartments should come with a kitchen robot. Think Rosie in the The Jetsons. I don’t know about apartment fire alarms, but if every kitchen in the residence halls has a Rosie, there will be a significant decrease in fire alarms. Residents think that they’re fire drills, but that’s incorrect. Those who fail to take their popcorn out of the microwave before it’s reduced to a blackened burned dust find that they typically set the alarm off because smoke is often a lovely side effect to this predicament. With a Rosie in each kitchen, there will be no issues. If you are one of those who forget that water is a staple ingredient in making Easy Mac (It happens often), don’t worry because Rosie will help you.

FIVE

Ban leggings. Not because it actually helps make campus idiot-proof but because a certain Generation editor hates them.

SIX

And lastly: “There are no such thing as stupid questions.” It’ll help continue our just cause.

The problem we encountered with making things idiot-proof, is that you’ll just ‘invent’ a bigger idiot. But, baby steps, okay? I mean, we are in college.

-8-

UB GAMING T

here was a time, not too long ago, when connecting a console to a university wireless network was actually difficult. It took numerous forum posts and instructions and sometimes, it still wouldn’t work. In recent years, it has become easier, and universities have even made their own instructions to connect to the network from a dorm or on-campus residence, but this put a strain on the network for students using the network on their computers. UB has made a new wireless network just for gaming devices: UB Gaming. You need to register your gaming device in order to use it, but it attempts to provide a network just for gaming, giving a testament to how popular gaming is becoming.

Another big event for gaming at UB is the annual UB Con. This year, guests like Ashly Burch, voice actress of Tiny Tina in Borderlands 2, and creator of the YouTube series, Hey Ash, Whatcha Playing will be in attendance. Not only are there other gaming celebrities, but there are panels, discussions, vendors, open gaming, tabletops. There’s an area called Artist Alley where artists from our university can sell their creations like drawing and jewelry. There’s even a NERF war. It’s like a miniature convention like PAX, hosted by our campus. This is a huge achievement, as conventions are complicated and take a lot of planning to execute well, and this is the 24th annual convention. Our campus recognizes the popularity of gaming and is making strides to bring more opportunities to organizations and students to have our own gaming community.

Article By: Gabrielle Gosset

where schools can add their club at their university to the program where Riot Games will then help you to structure your League of Legends club through their Structure Challenge. These clubs can then participate in tournaments and events with clubs from other colleges in the program. At PAX East this year, at the Riot Games booth (which was the biggest booth on the showroom floor), they held the finals of a collegiate tournament where the clubs from both campuses got to play on stage in front of thousands of fans in a live tournament-style setting like the pro players do.

Oh, and did I mention there was prize money involved?

Campuses and companies worldwide are starting tailor-made programs, events, and organizations for college students. This is a step for campuses, proving that they have the foresight to keep up with the times while simultaneously catering their campus to the needs and wants of the students. Keep up the good work UB! If you want to get involved, check out your favorite game’s website or forums for programs like the Collegiate Program for League of Legends, maybe you could organize a tournament where there’s actual prize money, or create a club where you could gain leadership experience that could translate to your resume even after college.

Anything’s possible in an industry like the video game industry that loves innovation and interaction from fans and gamers, especially with college campuses starting to hop on board too.

Even companies in the gaming industry are realizing the popularity of gaming on campuses. Riot Games, makers of League of Legends, created a collegiate program

Article By: Laura Borschel

Raving Mad

A

bout two weeks ago I went to my first dub step concert not really knowing what to expect. I was never really into that subgenre of electronic music and didn’t really give it much thought. So I arrived at the Datsik concert with a few of my friends not really sure what to expect.

The concert started out normally enough with waiting outside of the Town Ballroom and waiting to get into the venue. Once we got inside however, I began to realize how much of a crazy madhouse this concert was going to be.

Now, I have had friends over the years that have dabbled in molly and the rave-like culture that it comes with. I’m familiar with highlighter parties, paint parties, and just about everything in between, but even I was unprepared for what I had walked into.

The outfits I saw were absolutely insane, and that was even before I had stepped onto the dance floor. There were girls in mesh outfits with fur everywhere and guys doing the same, people covered head to toe in beads and glow sticks, and some people treating this concert like an ABC party.

After waiting a few minutes on friends, we finally stepped onto the floor. The venue was absolutely packed and I was soon overcome by a massive wave of colors, sounds,

and bodies.

We started to slowly descend into the pit at the center of the ballroom. With the music at full blast I began to feel totally connected to every single person around me.

I could tell everyone was on the same level, whether they were drunk, on molly/other party drugs, or even sober. With the music being pumped through our cores, we were all united in the same feeling.

The people around me also began to surprise me with their free expression and sense of selves. No one cared whether you were a guy dancing with another guy, a girl dancing with another girl, or a guy and girl dancing together; everyone was free to express themselves without fear of the environment around them.

People were also free with offering each water and help if someone was in bad shape.

I also had a few chuckle worthy experiences of people asking me if I wanted a various amount of free drugs while I was dancing. From weed to molly, people were willing to give you whatever. Neither of which I accepted, but the offers still stood. I chose to stick with the basics and stick with nice and legal alcohol.

-9-

PULSE

Change

We Can Believe In Article By: Paul Stephan

I

more fluidly, in order of most to least likely to happen.

To put that in perspective, a Public Policy Polling survey found 13% of Americans think Obama is the anti-Christ. While 4%, and I quote, “believe ‘lizard people’ control the US and are trying to take over the country.” Why the pollsters thought to ask about lizard people is beyond me.

Filibuster Reform The United States Senate doesn’t limit how long a person can stand and speak, which means that someone trying to slow down a bill can talk for hours on end and stop the legislative process. These filibusters can be stopped with a 60-person cloture vote, but right now a 47-Senator minority stops plenty of bills by voting against cloture. Several proposals exist to make filibustering harder and rarer while still keeping this procedure in place for extreme circumstances. While filibuster reform didn’t pass this Congress, it’s still our best bet for serious change at this point.

n a Pew survey earlier this year, only 26% of Americans said that they trust the federal government to do the right thing at least most of the time and 11% were content with the federal government as a whole.

But this isn’t an article about lizard people, unfortunately enough. This is about the fact that our federal government seems less competent than ever.

While self-seeking politicians, a corrupt lobbying system, and money in politics play a role, our current state of dysfunction is also the product of how we designed our government in the first place.

As you may remember from your American government classes, the Founders created a system of checks and balances, so that, for example, the President’s power would be matched by Congress’s power. Under this framework, no one branch or person would be able to do too much without the others, and that would help prevent tyranny and overreach.

The system was, in some ways, designed to be slow, and slow is what we have. Checks and balances were nice when we didn’t have indoor plumbing, but right now we need to get shit done. So I’ve compiled a list of some things -10- that we can do to make government work a little

Imperial Presidency A number of scholars have argued that the President has been gaining more and more power over time, leading in the direction of an Imperial Presidency. While this might seem scary – one person amassing power to the demise of other branches – it will mean efficiency. Moreover, the general public holds the President accountable for things that happen in government, even though he’s not totally responsible for those things. It makes sense, then, that we give the most accountable person in government the most power to make decisions and face the consequences of those decisions.

Legislative Conclave Members of Congress typically stay in Washington Tuesday through Thursday, and then spend a four-day week in their districts. This means that they’re not staying in D.C., forming relationships with other members, which makes working together and compromising much more difficult. I’ve been

inspired by the recent papal conclave, where the cardinals are locked in the Sistine Chapel until they pick a pope. Nobody enters and nobody leaves until the work is finished. While I’m not suggesting we should lock members of Congress inside the Capitol until we get a budget passed, legislators spending more time together might do us all some good.

One-Term President The adage in politics is that your re-election campaign starts on your first day in office. Presidents in their first term bend to the will of special interest groups and the public in order to maintain popularity and win re-election. Maybe they would be more willing to do what they feel is right if they didn’t have to worry about their popularity. While no one seems to be calling for this, many do want to see term limits imposed on members of Congress under similar logic.

Parliamentary System This is inspired by our friends in the U.K. and other nations. In a parliamentary system of government, there is no separation of powers between the legislative and executive branch; they are essentially one in the same. If there’s enough of a disagreement to cause gridlock, a new election is called and the issue is (usually, sometimes) resolved by the voters. In our system, where both parties have some power, politicians can always blame the other side. But in parliamentary set-ups, one party has essentially all the power, and thus bears all responsibility for what happens. While I think this system would be very interesting in the U.S., it will probably never happen. I’ll keep dreaming though.

PULSE

UB Self Promotion Article By: Angelina Bruno

A

fter being present for the filming of several promotional videos on campus this year, I have stopped to think about how unnatural the process seems.

A promotional video for the English Department is currently being put together and students in fiction and poetry workshop classes were told that a film crew would be present at one of the required readings that we attend.

The group I rode with to the event came a little late, so I ended up with a seat right next to where the author and professors would be speaking. The film crew consisted of a woman and a cameraman. Everything seemed fine until she asked all of us to take off our coats because we don’t want it to look like we are always freezing in Buffalo. She also asked us to keep our food out of sight if possible. My friend and I were very hungry after waiting a while to eat at the event. We just wanted to enjoy our pizza while listening to a discussion about literature, something that we actually do as UB students and should be promoted as a reality of the program. Instead I felt guilty, sitting next to the main attraction with apparently my potential “student-repellant” food and jacket. The cameraman moved around as the reading went on, shining an extremely bright light over students’ faces as we listened to the author. The atmosphere felt much more relaxed when they packed up and left early with all the footage they needed.

I wasn’t sure why the woman from the film crew looked so familiar to me but I realized just after they left. The first promotional video I ended up being part of was for the C3 Dining Hall Opening. I had a “Golden Ticket” so I was lucky enough to attend one of the preview nights. First of all, the menu that night was full of foods and desserts that I have not seen since in the dining hall. There were head chefs everywhere barking orders and everything tasted delicious.

The food is still good but nowhere near the quality of that night and I really would like another delicious UB shaped cookie. The film crew walking around taking footage to promote the new dining space that night was the same one I had recognized at the reading. I remember watching as the crew observed different people and picked out the choicest vignettes to use for the video.

My boyfriend and I were sitting on one of the nice benches in front of a new fireplace eating dessert when I noticed the woman looking at us. I had a feeling she would come over and sure enough we were asked if we would mind being filmed. At first I was excited, I thought it would be fun to be part of one of these promotional projects. Then when she asked which one of us would like to speak for the video, I ended up feeling insulted. I was wearing a top that I hadn’t realized did not fit very well any more until I had already left the dorm and it ended up being too low cut. It was very apparent from her look and glances at my top when asking who wanted to say a little spiel that she did not want me to speak. I sat there feeling dejected while my boyfriend gave the enthusiastic response they were looking for. The video looks great and he makes a great spokesperson, but really, the passive aggressive nature of the filming is unnecessary.

It is inevitable that a university will need to entice students to attend their school. We all went through the college search process and were bombarded with ads. That is why I think an idea the university should consider for their promotions is teaming up with students to make these videos. Student work always has a much more authentic feel and a sense of humor that other students enjoy. Just take a look at the Sh*t UB Students Don’t Say video, popular among students last year, and the video created by the Student Association this year to encourage students to vote yes in the referendum.

Yes, the first video is not a positive view of the campus, but it is well put together and funny. The other video creates a narrative that students can follow and learn about issues through without feeling bored or disinterested. The people who best understand and appeal to the demographic the university is trying to reach are students who are part of that demographic so why aren’t they involved? The unnatural videos may appeal to Mommy and Daddy’s checkbook, but UB is already an affordable school. The goal should be to attract students who appreciate genuine efforts.

-11-

SPRING

FEST

2013 Photos By: Amanda Simonetti

! g in

r i H e

r ’ e W

Generation Magazine is hiring for the 2013-2014 school year. Send

your resume, cover letter, and writing sample or creative portfolio to ubgeneration@gmail.com.

: r o F G N I K O O L e

We’r

Managing Editor Creative Director Assistant Creative Director Web Editor Photo Editor

Copy Editor Buffalove Editor Pulse Editor Literary Editor CIRCULATION Director

He Said She Said

Article By: Paul “Is this gonna be forever?” Stephan and Laura “Yes, it is forever.” Borschel

THE END EDITION Hey man, who’s your favorite tight end for the Buffalo Bills?

HS: I’m not sure what’s Caussin’ you to ask, but I like my ends tight. There’s nothing like a tight end walking into your otherwise boring morning class. You get sprung.

SS: I prefer my “tight ends” with a little side of O.J. in the morning, but you also have to treat a lady right.

You know what they say, if you want some love wear a glove.

What do you guys do on the weekends?

HS: I’m not sure if you’ve heard of this, but if you grind up frozen Hot Pockets and smoke them, it really messes you up. Last weekend I tried it with my friend and by the end of it we thought we were sperm and tried to swim to the nearest dozen eggs. Needless to say, Tops employees were not amused.

SS: Well, this one time I did two or three hits of acid at a party. I then watched one of my friends melt into the floor, and I looked into a mirror and had a complete existential breakdown over my own identity because I was not the person I was staring at. My face began to twist and melt and I felt like dying. So basically to answer your question, a Hunter S. Thompson novel.

Oh. My. God. I have split ends. What can I do?

HS: From this question I’m going to surmise that you’re from New York’s greatest island, that you own too many North Face jackets, and that you wear Ugg Boots like Flavor Flav wears clocks. I don’t know what split ends are. Is that what happens when you divide by zero? Whatever, next question.

SS: I think split ends are when your parents split up because they don’t love you and it’s all your fault.

I feel like I’m at a dead-end job.

HS: I know how you feel. I have been working at this same job for a year. And still every issue I have to sit and write this low-life advice column. I mean, no one even sends us questions. We have to make them up!

It’s all just an endless stream of TPS reports, weird mumbling coworkers, and a set of bad suspenders telling me about missed memos. I’ve had it. After this I’m not writing anymore He Said She Said columns. I quit.

SS: GET A NEW JOB..... I’d say something funnier but certain higher ups won’t let me. Damnit.

My ex-boyfriend just unfriended me on Facebook.

Was our relationship just pretend, or can we make amends?

HS: I understand the pain you feel inside. Once upon a time, I was falling in love. Now I’m only falling apart.

I recommend going on Craigslist personals and saying something along these lines: Looking for someone to “make grilled cheese” on my “stovetop.” Your pic gets mine.

SS: I think it is safe to say that you’re not over. He’s just playing hard to get. What you should do is make a bubble gum bust of his face and hide it in your closet.

And don’t worry if he really doesn’t want you anymore; you could always just go for his best friend Gerald.

I keep offending people, so I got suspended from school. How did I end up like this?

HS: This happens to me all the time. You ask ONE girl from Africa why she’s white, and all of the sudden everyone thinks you’re a bad guy. Everyone needs to calm down and leave me in peace to watch my favorite comedy, Hotel Rwanda.

SS: Sometimes we like to marginalize groups of people because we can’t be bothered to understand their backwards and simplistic un-American cultures. To be honest I’m not even sure if all of them classify as people.

Are any of y’all any good at bartending? Because I’m having a really classy party on Englewood and need a good bartender.

HS: Yeah, I’m good at bartending. I can make gin “end” tonic. Get it? Okay, it was lame, I know.

SS: I suggest hiring out to a local frat; they have plenty of good bartenders. They know how to make complex drinks like “watered down jungle juice,” supply only the finest of beers like Keystone Light, and even have the occasional “GHB and Hawaiian punch combo.”

Do you guys have any last words before the end of this column for the year?

HS: If I had a nickel for every group of people I’ve made fun of people in this column, I’d throw them at people in the Student Union.

SS: Well, I suppose I would like to mention all of the rough outline jokes that we never get to put in due to the inappropriate nature. The topics include but are not limited to: ethnic/cultural groups, rape, the mentally handicapped, Anne Frank, gays, abortion, Helen Keller, the Three-Fifths Compromise, the invisible man in the sky, white people, and many more. We would like you all to remember we try to approach these topics, because we believe in equal opportunity. No group is safe and everyone can be stereotyped.

-15-

R O I N SE S! F F O D N E S

I have pretty limited space here to try to summarize my four years at the University at Buffalo, but here goes.

I have spent 32 months in this fine city. I have experienced one snow day and one serious snowball fight, both on the same day. I have spent $900 at Tim Horton’s. I’ve taken 60 exams and written some 90,000 words in papers for different classes. I’ve changed my UBIT password zero times.

I went to dozens of basketball games, consumed scores of free slices of pizza, and drank hundreds of beers (and recycled almost all of them!). I had three paying jobs, at different points, on this campus, all of them giving me much more than I could have expected. I tried to grow a beard, once, for No Shave November, which is one more time than I should have.

I got to see the Albright Knox and the waterfront and the city at night. The things I’ve done at UB allowed me to travel outside Buffalo: New York City, Toronto, Denver, Fredonia, Syracuse, Albany twice, and Washington D.C. three times. I came from Pittsburgh, and very soon I’ll be going to Newark, but Buffalo will always feel like a home.

I can’t measure everything, or fully define my experience in these little snapshots. As someone who writes for a campus magazine, I guess I’m supposed to believe in the ability of the written word to convey ideas and meaning; the truth of it is that there’s way more to say about UB than I can manage to fit in here.

I have a lot of people to thank for making everything so memorable. Shout outs go to people in the Student Association with whom I worked for five semesters.

Thanks to everyone in the UB sustainability crowd, particularly Ryan, Jim, and Erin from the Office of Sustainability. Thank you to the folks in the Honors College who, among many other things, trusted me with teaching a class of freshmen and giving me one of the best experiences of the last four years. To my partners in crime at Generation, thanks for making this year so enjoyable.

Thanks as well to students who have already graduated, but who while here made my college experience so formative. In particular, I want to thank my firstever boss on this campus, Chris Llop, who continues to be an awesome individual.

Last, there are a lot of people out there who I haven’t mentioned by name, but who have made this whole thing worthwhile. Thank you as well.

I don’t have much more to say, other than to say that everything here has been lovely. To others graduating, to those who have more time at UB, and to all you playing along at home, keep on keepin’ on.

Paul Stephan

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Endings tend to be sad, which is why I don’t like them. But when high school ended, I just opened a new chapter in my life with college, so that’s how I am viewing my graduation from UB. It’s just a new chapter in my life.

I came to this school thinking that college is where everything exciting happens. I didn’t fit in too well at my high school on Long Island, but so college was something I was looking forward to. I wouldn’t say that I was shy when I was a freshman (and most my friends would never describe me as shy) but I was not completely secure with myself and was trying out new things. That’s one of the things that made my college experience so great I am thankful for my years at UB. Granted, there were professors who I loathed, but nearly every professor I had in the English department here was phenomenal.

Some I liked better than others, but they each added something to my education.

My friends are what made my college experience. Whenever I had a tough moment, they helped me out and showed me just how great they are. If I had to thank each of my friends this send off would probably be longer than the entire Generation issue. My friends, you know who you are and I love you all dearly.

I’m going to miss UB but I can’t wait to see what else is in store.

Lee Auslander Welp. Congratulations to the seniors, super seniors, and abnormally smart undergrads of 2013. You’re probably wondering what I could possibly say about my time here at UB or working for Generation. Well, that makes two of us. As you know, this is my senior send off, where I give advice or rant about some crazy experience I had in my four years of college. So here it goes…

1 Get a job: In order to go on these crazy booze runs you will be accustomed to, you need money to spend on your copious amounts of beer. So, get a job. On campus or off; find a way to make money so you can actually be a real person and not ask your parents for money every week. Welcome to the real world.

2. Once you get this job, don’t make-out with your co-worker. It makes for some pretty awkward situations the next day at work and you become a target for the next month. Not a good time.

3. When going to the steer (which you will do at least once in these four years), the guys are frat douchebags… I think I can say that… they will try to get you drunk and they will try to take you home. Just say no… or I mean, if you’re in to that, yes. Just don’t get pregnant.

4. HAVE FUN. Seriously though. If I learned one thing here at UB it’s to not get caught up in the amount of work you might have, but to have fun with it. Play baseball with Christmas balls on top of a roof (totally never happened) or go to AC Moore and get yelled at for playing with bubbles in the store. Just have fun, be stupid!

These are the four tips I can come up with to any undergrad. P.S. if you’re looking for a job, check out Generation. Probably the craziest people you will ever meet, but at the same time probably the most awesome staff to work with. So thanks to the Generation staff for making my last year here at UB a memorable one. You guys rock!

Melissa Osterweil

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I often criticize endings. I’ve never liked them. Scar should have won, CM Punk should still be WWE Champion, and they both could have fit on the raft. Even Magini lost a bit too easily. That last one’s a special kind of reference from my novel, Enhanced you should check it out on Amazon, iBooks, Barnes and Noble and a ton of other places (I finally got an Enhanced reference in Generation!)

So here I am literally writing my own ending to my Generation career. It’s a bit weird to think about because it’s been an unconventional journey. I took a strange path to get here. I started off sophomore year submitting literary pieces. Junior year I was actually interviewed after the release of Enhanced so there was a nifty two page spread with my face on it. Not long after I became a staff writer for the magazine. For my senior year I became the Literary Editor and well you know about that stuff; you’ve read it. I also became the Circulation Director for this last semester so overwhelmingly chances are, I delivered the magazine you’re reading right now.

All right, time to drop some names. Since this is Generation everything starts and ends with the EIC. Ally Balcerzak has gone above and beyond her job description to make Generation the best it could be and whether she admits it or not Generation would not exist had it not been for her these last couple years and even if it did, I wouldn’t be a part of it. Speaking of people that have helped me out here I have to thank Erin Willis, Josh, and Bonnie for putting up with me learning to be a journalist last year and taking the time to teach me how to do a lot of the things they were frustrated that I didn’t know how to do when I initially started.

The staff is wonderful this year whether it be trying riddles with Keighley, discussing life philosophies with Paul and Laura, sharing my observations with Melissa and Emily, or helping Dinorah with her newest articles. Side note, Dinorah is single most improved person from a writing standpoint on staff. Or just goofing off with Eric and the rest of the staff, I’ve had a great time with all of you.

Personally, I want to thank my family parents brothers, sisters, grandparents, everyone, for supporting me in everything I do. This also means the people that aren’t related to me but are my family nonetheless specifically Taylor Allen (and the whole Allen Family for that matter) Shawn Jakubik, Marijke Van Leeuwen. ESA members like Jenny, Farhana, and Kapila for becoming vital parts to my every day operation.

Time to provide you, the reader with the ending you deserve. So I’ll thank you all, and I’ll pass on some great advice; Be good, read Generation, read Enhanced. It’s better than cutting off mid-sentence like the Soprano’s.

Carlton N. Brock The Third

Four years ago, I told myself I had a clean slate and I should take this rebirth opportunity to really do something with my life. Fast forward for what seems like an eternity and I can say mission accomplished. My four years at UB were without a doubt the best years of my life.

The first night I was here, I thought I made a huge mistake. I suppose this is a natural feeling your first night away from home, but it still sucks. But once you get through the first one, it only gets easier. I knew going into college I wanted to go to law school, so my goal was to bust my ass in class and to get involved to boost my chances. Even now, after getting into law school, that drive still burns. The first and most important organization I joined was Phi Alpha Delta. Nothing was better than a club of soon to be lawyers, and it has given me some of my best friends on this earth. When you are in a strange place, finding people who have the same interest as you is the key.

UB itself is a place I absolutely love and hate at the same time. The long lines, impersonality, and a lot of the people really get to you. But at the same time, if you asked me if I could do it all over again, I would always come to UB. It has been my home in every way, despite the cold, wind and the geese. As a Buffalo outsider who thought of this place a case in point of economic decline, I have seen firsthand the why the people still have an unbreakable spirit. There are so many great things about this town, and you couldn’t possibly find them anywhere else.

I want to thank my professors, whom despite having to teach classes of hundreds of students have really been good to me. How much smarter I am today, is thanks to them. There really are professors here who love what they teach and really do take an interest in their students. It was because of a professor taking an interest in me, I was able to land an internship which opened the door to so many valuable connections and opportunities. It was because of my professors I had the chance to do independent research on topics that really matter to me. There are many bad professors here, I have had several, but the good ones make it all worth it.

Finally, I want to personally thank my family and all my friends who got me through it. Without all of you, these years would not have been the same, and I would not be anywhere near as successful as I am. Whether it was pulling an all-nighter or getting me home after a night of too much frivolity, you guys are the best! So for me, that’s all folks! See you at Syracuse!

Eric Carlson

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BuffaLove

Should I Stay or Should I Go Now? Article By: Ally Balcerzak

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og onto Facebook or Twitter when Buffalo weather is rioting or our sports teams have lost a game and you’ll find countless updates proclaiming how much the city “sucks.” While entertainment and weather are important when deciding where to live after graduation, they aren’t the most important. In fact, for many seniors, those things are at the bottom of the list.

It’s no secret that the job market is terrible right now. Our generation is set to graduate at a time when job openings are in short supply, competition is sky high, and starting salaries are lower than they used to be. Gone are the days of graduating and moving to your dream city, and in is the time of applying to dozens of jobs in as many cities in hopes of getting a position somewhere.

the decision is more complicated thanks to other factors.

Certain fields require people to live in specific cities in order to find a job, such as Los Angeles for film, New York City for publishing, and Washington D.C. for federal government positions. At the start of college, professors are constantly saying we can do whatever we want as long as we get the right degree, but they leave out the part about how a major relocation might be necessary. This concept is perhaps the scariest realization for those who chose to stay home during undergrad.

Most Buffalo natives will say there were numerous factors keeping them here for school such as family, work, and the fact that UB is a flagship SUNY school. But underneath it all, money played Way back in high school when we were deciding a factor for the majority. The cost of living in this where to attend college, many UB students city is much lower than in places like New York chose to come to Buffalo because it is “as far City, or Boston. Getting a college education in from downstate as you can get while paying state Buffalo is a fraction of the cost it would be in tuition.” Others chose to stay here because they other cities because of it, and for anyone who wanted to save money on undergrad by having the hasn’t lived somewhere else, the location change option of living at home. Either way, most students after graduation can come as a major shock. didn’t give much thought to where they would live after graduating.

For some, leaving Buffalo will never be in the cards, such as senior marketing major, Luke Nuttle.

Flash forward four years and suddenly seniors “I’m definitely staying in Buffalo after graduation. find themselves questioning if they want to stay in I was born and raised here and couldn’t imagine Buffalo after graduation. For some, the decision leaving this place and starting somewhere else. I is easy because other obligations pulling them feel like it is a very comfortable and economically somewhere, such as Harry Kim, a graduating feasibly situation for me before I leave town and senior and owner of campuslootr.com. “I’m incur tons of expenses somewhere else.” It seems moving back home [to Long Island] because I to be a common trend for seniors to head back need to help out with the family.” For others, home to start their careers if they choose to not

stay in Buffalo. After four years of being away from home, many miss their family and the lives they left back in their hometown.

Then there are those heading off to grad school right away, who must decide not only between Buffalo and home, but an entirely new city in general. Some students look at grad school as a way to test the waters in a new city where they’d potentially like to live permanently while others take it as a chance to live in their dream location for a year or two before finally heading back home.

But yet again, this decision is often influenced by finances.

Choosing between a dream school and another financially sound option is difficult.

Amanda Karpovich, a senior political science, legal studies and psychology major, grew up near Binghamton and had her choice of law schools for next fall but will most likely be attending UB law due to finances. “I was really interested in Arizona State for a while, but when I sat down and calculated moving costs it just doesn’t make sense financially. I ultimately want to work in Buffalo, so it makes more sense to stay here for law school than to go somewhere else.”

No matter what seniors decide when they graduate, in the end they will always have ties in Buffalo (whether they like it or not). When you spend four years on a college campus in this city, there is no way to avoid getting used to the food, the culture, or the weather. Once you’ve lived here, no matter how short a time, Buffalo sticks with you.

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LITERARY

2013-2014 EIC Announcement Article By: Keighley Farrell

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o say that I am excited for this position is the understatement of the millennium.

When I first arrived at UB, if someone would have told me that by the end of my Sophomore year, I would be the Editor in Chief of a magazine, I would have put my headphones back in and kept watching The Office on Netflix. Even a week ago, as my coworkers nudged me with their elbows and offered their preemptive congratulations, I kept my mantra of acceptance on repeat. You may not get it. It won’t be the end of the world. Just do your best.

I can honestly say that I have never been more positive about anything in my life; this is the job for me.

This year has been the most high-speed, incredible learning experience I could have possibly asked for. I had no idea what I was signing up for when I applied last spring, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

This magazine has become my home away from home. As the year progressed, I found myself spending more time in our office than anywhere else on campus. (With the possible exception of the Tim Horton’s line.) I’ve memorized every bizarrely chosen poster, every drawer full of souvenirs from years past, and every strange and out of context quote scrawled lovingly across our chalkboard.

Our staff has had its ups and downs, but without them, I wouldn’t be nervously writing this letter. To the 2012-2013 Generation staff, I salute your zany antics, your vehement advice, and your sincere friendship. I’m going to miss you all entirely too much. Expect quite a few late-night phone calls on production days.

My first act as Editor in Chief will be to cry for a very long time, probably to the song Graduation by Vitamin C. After I’m finished doing that, I’ll get started on the real stuff.

As an English major with a minor in Studio Art, and almost 10 years of performance experience in theater, poetry, and music, our readers can anticipate that things are going to get very artsy up in here.

Generation is the alternative voice of UB, and I want to embrace that. I want to broaden our definition of “alternative” by expanding our role in the creative community, highlighting the things that UB students are doing every day to go above and beyond. I will be increasing our presence at local concerts, theater performances, gallery openings, and student-run events. However, I can’t do this without your help, readers. If you’re in the know about the raddest happenings, please don’t hesitate to let us know!

We will also be streamlining Generation social media interactivity, with additional bonus content available through Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and our website, www.ubgeneration. com. Our publication is by students and for students, so I want to be able to hear your feedback through as many outlets as possible. Accordingly, we will also be keeping the literary section open for submissions. If you are interested in being published, send us your poetry, prose, short stories, and various musings, and you could be our next featured guest author.

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Our most ridiculous (and usually inappropriate) column, He Said She Said, might be losing an unbelievably hilarious “He Said” this May, but we are holding on to the hope that another dynamically dastardly duo will take the reigns this coming fall. Which brings me to my last major point:

We are hiring!

We are currently hiring for the following positions:

Managing Editor, Creative Director, Assistant Creative Director, Photo Editor, Web Editor, Copy Editor, Circulation Director, Buffalove Editor, Pulse Editor, and Literary Editor.

We are also looking for a Business Manager, and Advertising Manager and an Assistant Advertising Manager, which can applied for in the Sub Board I Inc. office at 341 Student Union.

If you are interested in applying for one of our paid editorial staff positions, or you just want to donate your talents as a staff writer, now is the time to let us know. Find out about all of the available positions at www.facebook.com/GenerationMagazine, and submit your applications to us by April 29th.

More than anything else, I want to make Generation a publication that listens to its audience. If there’s something that we should be changing, it is up to you guys to let us know. I’ll be here to take your emails anytime at ubgeneration@gmail.com.

Looking forward to an absolutely stellar year,

Keighley Farrell Editor in Chief Generation Magazine

LITERARY

SpongebObservations Article By: Keighley Farrell

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here are few things on this planet (aside from Tom Hardy) that I enjoy more than Spongebob Squarepants. Though I retired my dreams of marine biology long ago, my obsession with all things aquatic, along with my appreciation of absurdist humor, carried over in to my fascination with this little, yellow, holey man of unyielding knowledge. Some of you may ask: “What could possibly be so enlightening about Spongebob? It’s just a kid’s show.”

You, my naïve, sad, heartless reader, are gravely mistaken.

Perhaps it’s just my English major running rampant, but I believe there is far more to SBSP than meets the eye.

What started out as a goofy homage to creator Stephen Hillenburg’s marine biology career quickly escalated to one of the most prominent symbols of our generation. Every character is unique and distinctive, with elaborately intertwined backstories and consistently expanding skill-sets. With a cast of creatures this humanly diverse, it’s easy to overlook some of the zany, bizarre happenings of our favorite under-sea metropolis.

I’d first like to draw attention to the show’s liberal avoidance of any concrete indication of Spongebob’s sexual orientation. Disregarding the fact that he is, above all things, a sponge, it seems as though viewers in my age group are chomping at the bit to find some kind of definitive mold for poor Bob to fit in to. They interrogate his inseparable bond with Patrick, his overzealous infatuation with Squidward, and his possible karate-based romance with Sandy. I fully support the creators’ choices to leave these relationships ambiguous, and find it even more hilarious when they purposefully instigate to spite the curious.

In one of my favorite episodes, when Patrick has to go undercover to avoid a suspected mafia hitman, Spongebob dresses him up as “Patricia,” who is then the immediate target of both Squidward and Mr. Krabs’ affections. In another episode, as Spongebob

and Patrick leave the Krusty Krab, Spongebob calls out, “Bye Squidward! Bye Mr. Krabs!” And then, with lowered eyelids and waggling fingers, he croons, “Bye Squidward.”

Patrick turns to Spongebob curiously. “You said ‘Bye Squidward’ twice.”

“I like Squidward.” He replies factually.

The program has the uncanny ability to both dismiss and provoke those who demand some kind of

clarification about the sexual identity of a cartoon kitchen sponge. And while these nods fly right over the heads of the show’s younger viewers, we firstgeneration fans are impressed and amused by the staff ’s evasion of unnecessary gender norms and heteronormativity.

Another theme that persists throughout Spongebob’s nine seasons is the show’s underwater location, and more specifically, the ignoring of the show’s underwater location. In any given episode, the viewer is guaranteed to see at least one fire, an explosion, a bathtub full of water, a piece of intact paper, or other impossible anomaly that could only exist in the aqueous cartoon universe.

While one can simply attest these to be convenient adjustments made to accommodate SBSP’s reliability to the land-dwelling viewer, I don’t think that Spongebob would let that slide. I believe that the show addresses the rapidly changing nature of pessimism, realism, and optimism through its choices to disregard or highlight the characters’ impossible situations. Frequently, the characters will make jokes that imply that they are selfaware in regards to their universe’s lack of consistent physics, inadvertently teaching children different ways to view the world around them. Where Spongebob may cheerfully overlook a campfire because he is more focused on the fun he is having with his friends, Squidward may make a snide comment about how fire can’t exist underwater, causing the fire to extinguish itself in an existential crisis.

In regards to the lessons that I have personally learned from years of loyal Spongebob Squarepants viewing, nothing resonates with me more than Plankton’s unyielding perseverance in the face of adversity. While the show paints Plankton as a villain, when we get right down to the bare bones of his maniacal schemes, all he really wants is the same thing that we all want: success. He remains loyal to a failing business, and a patronizing computer wife, because his commitment to his mission statement is strong and concrete. He pushes himself to improve his schemes with every thwarted attempt, and never lets his failures define him as a person—well, a plankton. I think that kids should be aware of not only the virtue of determination, but also the possibility that they will inevitably fail. It’s how they turn that failure in to motivation that will really pay off in the long run.

Basically, I love Spongebob. I think we all need to dig a little deeper when examining what media shaped our childhood, and revisiting some of Spongebob’s more intellectual subtexts is a great way to start. I don’t know about you guys, but IIIII’m ready!

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PARTING SHOTS Missed Opportunities

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have been a part of Generation for the better part of two years now and I’m going to say that there have been an ungodly amount of things that have been missed by having me as a writer on staff. So for my final parting shot I am going to give you all a list of what I wasn’t allowed to say.

This starts with a simple notion of the pen name. You’ll notice that Eric Carlson and I are credited Eric “Easy E” Carlson and Carlton “Big C” Brock. This is the result of several failed attempts to write under pen names. It isn’t just the name; I was prepared to develop an entire persona under the name Big C. Perhaps Big C would be my opposite. He could hate hip-hop and videogames and literature. He could have written from my perspective except much more exaggerated. The idea is something that would not hurt the magazine in my opinion, but I’m not the boss. So you’ll have to bear with this version of Big C, Fandangoing in the last parting shot.

Speaking of Fandangoing, I once had the idea to write an article in defense of professional wrestling, which is simultaneously a fringe interest and a mainstream media form. This would have been an intelligent piece stating all the attendance records Wrestlemania has set, or The Rock now being Hollywood’s highest paid actor, or my favorite, CM Punk, being a topic of conversation on ESPN on a semi-regular basis. This idea in a way made it to the magazine in the form of last issue’s editor’s letter but it is nowhere near as good as it could have been.

Another of my missed opportunities is more recent in that I could have written about the bane of my existence; people talking to me when I’m doing work. This parting shot would have been solely about my desire to take someone and sew their mouths shut when they stop me as I’m delivering the magazine or call me at seven in the morning when I’m doing my early morning studying. Yes, I know this sounds mean, but I take my work seri-

Article By: Eric “Easy E” Carlson

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entlemen, we have a problem, and it’s us! As any women in the 18-24 demographic will tell you, all guys are jerks. But are they right? From this man’s perspective, you bet! There was once a time in this world when men were actually gentlemen. But sadly, the average guy today has abandoned the old ways to act like a jerk. I am guilty of doing this, as my female friends will remind me. But fortunately chivalry is not dead or out of style, it just needs some modern refinement. It goes beyond how we treat women; it permeates to all aspects of our lives and interactions with others.

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Article By: Carlton “Big C” Brock

The first rule is to follow through on your commitments. No one likes a person who says they are going to do something, then doesn’t. If you give your word to someone, you should keep it like your life depended on it. If we can’t keep our promises, why should anyone ever trust us? This just makes good sense when you think about it, whether it be in business or pleasure.

ously and a parting shot about that would have been a great way to get my solitude.

I should have written about people over reacting to things that are written. Especially the amount of banned books in the world because people can’t take an opinion even after they give theirs. The fact is some people can’t express their thoughts well unless it’s written. I know I’ve personally said things better in text than in spoken word. Ask any girl I’ve ever dated. Ask my roommate (Ally, the EIC by the way, we’ve never admitted it in the magazine). Overreacting to silence when the word is spoken.

Lastly I haven’t mentioned Enhanced. The Creative Director gets to talk about their showcase. I’m talking about my book. Buy it.

Have a nice life.

The Gentleman’s Code Second, there are manners. As we become a more informal society, we lose that special personal touch. As a kid, I always struggled with saying “please,” and “thank you.” But these small gestures of gratitude are essential to being a gentleman. On their own, they may seem insignificant, but if taken as a whole they are huge. If you are out at a restaurant on a date, you should be polite to the waiter. Think about it, what women wants to date a guy that treats the people serving him like that? Even if they are making mistakes and it frustrates you, don’t lose your manners. We as men and as people, generally seem to have lost sight of these ways. There is a big difference between being polite and getting walked over.

Third, as a gentleman you should always compliment a woman openly and honestly.

If you think she is beautiful, then say it.

There was a controversy about this during the college football national championship game. The color commentator, who is in his seventies, paid an on air compliment to the

girlfriend of the Quarterback of Alabama.

Of course, in our culture of fake outrage, he was shredded by certain segments of the media. That is completely stupid. If you cannot compliment a lovely woman for being beautiful, what have we come to? So gentlemen, compliment a woman with no fears.

In truth, I could write a whole book on this subject of being a gentleman. Not because it is a big mystery, but because we have forgotten. Certain things are inherently timeless, and chivalry is one of them. Given how much women say they want the men in their lives to be more chivalrous, why do guys still struggle to do it? It is in their interest. If we want to restore the reputation of men, we need to get to work.