GenZine Issue 4: Growing Up

COMPOSITION BOOK Issue 4: growing up 100 SHEETS

200 PAGES

9.3/4 x 7.1/2 IN. 24.7 x 19cm

WIDE RULED

of e u s Is t s a e!

L d a c e D e h t

Generation Zine Contributors

- Camilla Ffrench

- Madeleine Miller

- Adali Schell

- Nathan McCarthy

- Emma Higgins

- Lavinia Bennett - Daniela Lourenco Shiber - Damaris Contreras - Kane Gilland

- Emilia Boulon - Chiara Gabellini - Maxine Bell - Mathieu Wilson

- Lucinda Lansill

- Kenneth Loughman

- Kay Galarza

- Vala Schreifer

- Ilan Pozeilov

- Daniela Sabando

- James Vaughn

- Bevington Huntington

Created by Victoria Brooks

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Photo and Collage by Madeleine Miller

"Growing Up" Issue 4 December 2019

Taking Your Freedom By Foot

By Nathan McCarthy

Growing up is endlessly exciting; you don’t exactly know what’s coming next, but it’s thrilling to take on the adventure of discovery. Hand in hand with this independence comes what seems like an endless amount of responsibilities. The last two years of high school and the first two years of college for many is the sweet spot. You may have enough freedom to come home when you want, go to sleep when you want, and the freedom to explore your interests, but you don’t yet have to make a steady income, cook, and do laundry. You aren’t babysat constantly, nor do you have to decide “what you want to do with your life”. But, not everyone has these privileges in this sweet spot of 16 to 20, which gives me all the more reason to appreciate this time in my life.

Growing up is a beautiful thing.

This summer, my older brother gave me the opportunity to try out one of his greatest passions. I could pick any trail in the world and hike for a few weeks with a friend of mine. He provided the gear, paid travel fare and the intermittent hostel stay; the rest was up to me. I immediately called my friend George and we began planning. It took months. We narrowed down to a road trip in Alaska, hiking in Morocco/Spain, and backpacking in Southeast Asia. It was almost overwhelming; anywhere in the world we thought… My sister, who was faced with the same gift two years prior, showed me “El Camino de Santiago,” a hike into Galacia in northwest Spain. We decided this was the one; that meant that the planning had just begun. Would we want to do the most common “Frances route,” or the “El Notre” from San Sebastian? What about “El Camino Portugese?” Did we want to bike? Walk? Both?

Porto to Santiago, by foot. We decided. 320km -- 15 days. As June 23rd crept closer, the gear and research came together. Once we hit the road, we were walking, tenting, and fireplace cooking; a lifestyle we had never gotten the time to embrace. We adjusted easily out of sheer enthusiasm. The days were simpler, which was something we were looking for on this journey, a slower pace. We would wake up in our discrete camping spot, pack up, chow down a piece of fruit and protein bar (later replaced by canned sardines), and begin walking. We set a goal of 25km a day but greatly exceeded our expectations, occasionally reaching 40km a day. We would walk, chat, sing, take photos, simply enjoy our surroundings. All we had to worry about was what to eat, where to sleep, and did we walk enough. The freedom was beautiful. As I left high school, a fun yet stressful time in a fast paced city, my mind finally let itself relax – and who better to do it with than my best pal George.

Countless stories added up: people we met, situations we got ourselves into and out of (not all of our campsites were legal), all of these separate stories becoming a long one that will forever live in my memory.

This trip allowed me to step back from life and reflect. I considered my fortunes and my misfortunes, and, as Bobby Charles sang, “dream of my yesterdays and tomorrows.” In my reflection was when I discovered this “sweet spot,” and realized that I was in it and can’t take it for granted.

High school sped by, and I know that my days of independent-living and career-searching are not distant.

Sometimes clichés are true. “Live in the moment” they say, but I unquestionably believe that living any other way is not really living. Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to think about your past, but don’t dwell upon it for long. Instead appreciate the moment you’re living in, and seize the future because it only speeds up.

Collage by Lavinia Bennett

Polaroids by Daniela Lourenco Shiber

La NiĂąa by Damaris Contreras

This painting was inspired by the work of Diego Rivera. Over the Summer, I was able to spend time at the McNay Art Museum in San Antonio, where I saw Rivera’s painting of Delfina Flores.

I felt so inspired that when I got home, I just had to create something similar.

Damaris Contreras

I identify as a Disabled Latina Artist. When I was younger, I wouldn’t call myself disabled, even though I have been my whole life. I viewed the term “disabled” as negative, mostly because that’s how people around me made it seem. Now that I’m older, I feel no shame when saying I’m disabled; it’s what I am and there’s nothing wrong with that.

I’m currently an Undergraduate Fine Arts student, Majoring in Studio Art and Minoring in Expressive Arts. Recently, I’ve been creating pieces inspired by my past, and how I navigate life as a disabled person. I’ve come a long way in accepting myself, and am finally allowing myself to be truly honest by painting who I am and what I go through.

There are so many artists that inspire me. Both people close to me like my friends and professors and people who are farther away, famous artists like Frida Kahlo, Tim Burton, and Keith Haring, as well as people I follow on Instagram (a perk of being Generation Z!). I hope to keep creating in the future, whether it be paintings, drawings, films, etc. I like to keep an open mind and find inspiration in everything and everyone.

Madeleine Miller

Kane Gilland he/him or they/them

I grew up with art all around me. My father was in art school when I was a kid, and I just finished art school myself. I ended up going for Illustration, and overtime I began to see art and design as a means of making money. Recently, however, I’ve started to create pieces about my dysphoria, and I’m starting to understand art as a means of self-expression. With a single drawing, I’ve learned, I can create tension and vulnerability; I can share things with the world that in a way that isn’t otherwise possible.

Illustrations by Kane Gilland

Lucinda Lansill

Senior at Grace Church High School in New York City, Lansill takes photos with the goal of turning strangers into aquaintances. She describes this experience as finding the character hidden in everyday streets and capturing the "in-between-moments," the moments that everyone has when lost in their thoughts. This is the true way, she says, to seize the beauty of our surroundings.

More of her work on the following spread...

KayhighGalarza school senior, nyc

Activist Researcher Writer

I work with the DOE (Department of Education) at NYU’s Metro Center researching disproportionality, which is essentially segregation, in New York City public high schools.

I do a lot of outreach and community organizing, but most of my work is research and the analysis and presenation of the data in policy proposals. We look at research through the lens of numbers and qualitative experiences as well. So I’ll go to various high schools and conduct research asking students about their experiences. Often we’ll use an arts-based approach. One in particular asks students to illustrate their experience at school and what their ideal school would be. We’ve seen students draw jail cells or prisons and say that's what they feel like as a black student in a predominantly white school. So a lot of my work is connecting the dots there, and also remembering that my data is a person's feelings and being really intentional about not just seeing these people as numbers on a slide.

My personal experiences definitely reflect my research. It’s what got me into it. I grew up in Texas, which is a lot more conservative than New York.

The town itself where I grew up isn’t so conservative anymore; it’s near the border of Mexico. But I remember feeling so silenced and confused about my beliefs and so unable to express myself in the way that I wanted to. Now, living in New York, I go to a predominantly white and East Asian public high school. The experience of being a brown person in that environment is challenging. My work has really been an outlet for these feelings and has shown me that there are other students my age and younger who are experiencing the same thing, which, for me, is both comforting and concerning.

I began my activism at a local grassroots organization called The Committee Against Anti-Asian Acts of Violence which is headquartered in Chinatown, New York City. It was a really authentic experience, which felt like healing not only for the people I was working with, but also for myself. This direct connection is something that I feel a lot of activists shy away from, but I consider really valuable.

The most important aspect of my work is that it’s intersectional. I know that climate activism is on the rise right now, as it should be, and how I feel my work plays into it is that the primarily black South Bronx has one of the highest asthma rates in the US because of the highways and bridges being built for primarily white commuters. For me that’s a clear example of where racism and gentrification intersect with climate change and global warming.

Recently, the Chancellor of New York City Schools approved the use of restorative justice in most of NYC public schools, hiring new counselors and new psychologists, and capping school suspensions at twenty days. Before kids could be suspended for up to 180 days in one school year and it's primarily students of color who are suspended. So getting it capped at 20 days is a big win for people involved in this work!

I definitely feel a surge of youth voices for justice right now. I think that the easiest way that people can get involved is doing the whole “story thing” and posting on Instagram, but I think it's important that people are aware that simply posting is never going to be enough. Posting doesn't make you “woke” or socio-politically aware. All of the hype around being “woke” or a “youth activist” on Instagram isn't necessarily positive as it's likely being shared with an audience of similarly-minded people. In addition to sharing your beliefs on social media, you can go online and look up the congressperson for your district or the district member that sits on your council board. Look up town halls or education policy panel boards and the times that they meet-- it's all public information. You can go and watch or prepare a set of questions or even do a testimony. You can really start affecting change in that way.

My advice-- start grassroots, start local. Take action instead of just semi-passively spreading awareness on social media platforms.

An Interview with Ilan A.P. Tell me about your brand, ilan A.P. I created ilan A.P. as a curated collection of photography, art and clothing.

Ilan is my first name, and A and P are my middle and last initials, but I feel as if ilan A. P. stands for so much more, for spreading inspiration and creativity.

How'd you first get into fashion?

I first got into fashion around freshman year of high school. I began by making hand-embroidered t-shirts and selling them to friends, and I quickly picked up screen printing and the basics of sewing. I take pride in being self-taught and learning through trial and error.

How would you describe your style?

My style as a young artist is directed towards making art with meaning, making something that deals with real life issues. My personal style is, truthfully, all over the place. It’s primarily grounded in realism, inspired by my childhood and how I was raised, as well as influenced by society around me and what I see in LA on a day-to-day basis. When it comes down to what’s real, people tend to hate on the truth.

What are your opinions on sustainable fashion? Is that a priority in your work?

Sustainable fashion is the future and the direction that the art and fashion industries should be moving in. Recently I’ve been very interested in reusing and repurposing textiles and accessories. For my “Tied Down” collection (featured on the next page), I repurposed ties in an attempt to discuss male dominance in society in terms of wealth and social power. In the past, ties set standards of formality and today represent the overwhelming male presence in the workplace, especially upper levels of white collar work. I want to flip that, and show ties being used as really cool accessories and clothing for teens in casual situations. I want to show that the creative youth has a huge impact on the future and can change society’s standards going forward.

LEGACY.

a rumination by James Vaughn

I’m sitting here, 20,000 feet above the Earth, with its people, animals, and garlic bread, when I’m struck by the idea that we will not live forever. I’m calling this an idea because a realization would mean that I hadn’t thought about this before.

Because I do, about once every month. It’s about once a month that I expose my standing in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs as somewhere between Self-Esteem and Self-Actualization. I have food, water, and shelter. I have a family and an education.

I’m safe and secure enough to worry about my legacy on Earth, not just whether I’ll still be alive 10 days from now. Approximately a year ago, this monthly question would revolve around what I wanted my legacy to be. Slowly these questions devolved into existential crises, which dug deeper and deeper like sessions with a therapist. Sometimes I’d chip away at my internal thoughts, but sometimes I’d fall feet at a time. Today, it was feet.

The untapped territory I’m currently exploring is a quarrel with time itself.

Why does it move forward? I’ve always struggled with things I cannot control. Don’t get me wrong— I’m no control freak. I just like to know what’s going on. I’m most stressed when I don’t and can’t know what’s happening. I’m never stressed while taking a test, but I’m always stressed after I hand it in. But how do tests apply to this here existential crisis and the conception of a legacy? Well, today I’ve been grappling with the fact that, A) I’m not in control of my legacy, and, B) it doesn’t matter how big or small it is; nothing will outlast human life. At one point, nothing will exist. Not just my life, but my physical (dead) body. Ultimately, my legacy, if I have one, will have nobody to pass it down. Any progress we make in the realms of Civil Rights and Human Rights will someday be erased.

So, the question is, “why do it?” Whatever it is, why do it? Tom Brady’s legacy lasts as long as people are around to tell his story. Why does he play? Is it for his legacy? Is it for fun and a love of the game? What impact does his “fun” have on other people? “Fun” lasts only as long as the person having it. I’m not saying that Tom Brady should stop playing football, No. I just want to know why we, as humans, do “it,” keep pushing to be better and have people remember their greatness. I have no answers. Nor will I ever.

I’ve always lived by the Jackie Robinson quote, “A life is meaningless except for the impact it has on others.” Today I’m asking this question genuinely, why do we care about others? My first instinct is to say that we want each other to have the best life possible, but I’m not convinced. I can’t speak for everyone, but I know that, at least for me, each moment feels like it’ll last forever. The days will just keep on coming. There will be a tomorrow. The question is: what does a single moment, a single day, minute, hour mean in the grand scheme of time? Would you be okay if it meant nothing? Would I be okay if it meant nothing?

I’m a Christian, and not just an Easter and Christmas Eve Christian. I go to church every Sunday; both of my parents are ordained clergy. I believe Christianity is right, but these crises prompt me to wonder “what if Christianity were wrong?”

I’m sure that you could ask that of any religion, or just simply what if I’m wrong?

Perhaps there is eternal nothingness after we die. I find that too sad and too dark to believe. There’s gotta be something. I wish I knew what it was. I’ve never heard God. But does that mean God hasn’t spoken to me? Until I hear God, and even after, if I do hear God, I’m still bound to wonder “Am I right?” or “Am I crazy?” Maybe “it”

means something to God, if God is really

out there. God’s the only being

that answers might come

from. But, until then, I

expect another one of

these four weeks from now.

Illustration by Vala Schreifer

p h o t o b y I l a n P o z e i l o v

Madeleine Miller

Film Photo Edit

Lucinda Lansill Camilla Ffrench

Photos by Adali Schell

Photo by Emma Higgins

By Emilia Boulon

p h o t o s b y c h i a r a g a b e l i n i

Maxine Bell

My handmade omamori (good luck charms) are all different in what each one represents. Growing up, my family and I went to Japan every other year to visit our relatives, and every year we would pray at shrines. Many shrines in Japan are Shinto shrines, and at every shrine, there are omamori for sale. You would gift them to people for luck (i.e. love life, grades, health, fortune, pregnancy, etc.) I never used to get them but I always found them to be beautiful. Now, living on my own away from home, I sewed and embroidered my own omamori to center myself on what I want to focus on and what I wish for. Growing up is discovering forms of comfort in new scenarios and realigning your thoughts with what you want; these omamori are a physical manifestation of my current growth and what I want to remind myself.

The Sketchbook Files

Madeleine Miller

Mathieu Wilson

Kenneth Loughman

Vala Schreifer

(above left and right)

Kenneth Loughman

by Lavinia Bennett

by Vala Schreifer

from the sketchbook of daniela sabando

" A Playlist "

*an alter ego satire

by Bevington Huntington * Beving Huntington, an Australian ranchy, composed this playlist and hopes you enjoy it with your largest heart.

He has a large heart because he recieved an elepant heart transplant when he was growing up. He enjoys riding his flying carpet, performing taxidermy, and playing the oboe in his free time. Beving's favorite item of clothing is his infamous tube sock (he only has one).

You can find this playlist on the GenZine Spotify!

Hello my friends!

at page over there th m fro on gt tin un H ng vi It is I, the infamous Be <––– Aussies call it a blurb, and we as or o, bi y m d ye jo en I hope you my playlist. e: Here's a little more about m dried mango that's been d an , ed am ste ly on t bu e, - I enjoy pineappl cooked in a panini press. ditional wool so all of my tra d an n, tto co r, ste lye po - I'm allergic to chinchilla skin clothes are cashmere, silk or it gutting and skinning, bb Ra e tiv te pe m co ts: or sp - I play many etimes to the death), om (s g in itt kn e m tre ex g, speed Zamboniiin and soccer. inging my hobbies, I also enjoy str of all t no e ar e os th t, no But, fear the horses that I stuff of irs ha e th m fro ws bo a ol vi ngIsMyStuff #TaxidermyIsMyLife #Stuffi

, don't know who I truly am d an is th d ye jo en u yo pe I ho

Love, The one and only, Infamous,

gton Bevington Huntin

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