Issuu

Vol 14 No. 1

PUBLISHER'S NOTE

Refuse to live in the past

et's face it, being human means we'll have ups and downs. Everyone has dealt with some sort of adversity that they wish they hadn't. There are some events that we would rather forget and pray we never have to go through them again. Our cover personality Rev Funke Adetuberu is a woman who isn't afraid to speak up about her message because what we do with our mess matters! "I'm not afraid or ashamed to talk about my past," she said during the interview, "because God has given me complete victory over it. Failure and defeat no longer have a place in my life."Why should we be the only ones who make errors and learn from them? There are many people who wish to know that they aren't alone and that they are normal. Her shambles have been a source of inspiration for people all over the world as she ministers internationally. Her message of encouragement has allowed people to embrace their own stories, as life is not always as bright as the rainbow, and there are shades of gray and black hidden within the colors. Her interview is both a must-read and one that must be read numerous times. Her piece will undoubtedly inspire and embolden you to continue to believe in yourself and God's grace. The Law of In-Laws, a much-requested column, is back, and it will undoubtedly encourage all of you who are struggling to navigate the in-law terrain."Release the old and embrace the new" is a piece that further addresses the fact that your past should be placed where it belongs: in the past. One way to do this is by having "a new heart and a new spirit." This article will inspire you to rely on God more. As the year progresses, you, too, have a choice. Consider your difficulties, setbacks, failures, blunders, detours, and harrowing experiences and decide what to do with them. Please note that your mess is important, and what you do with it is even more important! Sometimes, God redeems your story by placing you in the company of individuals who need to hear about your history in order for it not to become their future. This edition is filled with articles that will inspire and embolden you to face the future with confidence. It's not too late to wish you a Happy New Year and please refuse to live in the past so you don't deny the gift of the present and the treasures of the future. I wish you a great year of God's best.

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RELATIONSHIP TIPS

Tips for a

Successful Marriage M

arriage isn't always a piece of cake. Whether you’ve been married for years or you just got married, living "happily ever after" takes a lot of work. Here are some tips that will help your relationship become stronger, healthier, and, yes, even happier.

. Remember that your spouse is not supposed to "complete" you. Healthy marriages should "complement" rather than "complete" one another.Couples should be self-assured, mature, and complete while remaining open to their partner. So, rather than waiting for your partner to ﬁll the hole, develop your own interests and desires—take a class you're interested in, go out with your friends, have your own life. Marriage doesn't mean you become Siamese.

.Make each other laugh. Life can be difﬁcult, so ﬁnding a sense of humor even while you're in the middle of it helps. "When a couple has humor, it usually implies they have perspective." Most happily married couples seem at ease around each other. Connecting with your spouse through

laughter can strengthen your bond, whether it's through inside jokes, a humorous unexpected text, or simply watching your favorite comedy together. I see that that works so well in my marriage.

: Be respectful to one another. It's easy to take your spouse for granted after you've been married for a while. It's critical that you verbally express your gratitude to your spouse every day. Whether you're praising them for something nice they've done or telling them something you admire about them, we all want to be recognized and reinforced for the things we do well. For example, if your spouse assists you with chores, express your gratitude with a smile. We may become resentful and grow apart if we don't feel respected.

. Be grateful.It's critical not to let the demands of everyday life cloud your appreciation for your spouse. It's not uncommon to be unhappy with your spouse for a variety of reasons, but you'll always ﬁnd something to be thankful for. The more thankful you are for your partner, the better your marriage will be. Your perspective and attitude will change. Remember that getting married is not a given for everyone, so don't take it for granted.

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ur cover personality is a strong, dynamic woman of God who I greatly admire. A woman of many parts, she has overcome great adversities and unashamedly shares her story of transformation and healing. She has turned her apparent mess into a message and a ministry, inspired by an unwavering passion to assist women in fulfilling their God-ordained destiny. Her belief that "all women must die empty" motivates her. She asserts that no one is created to enrich the grave, but rather to use each ability to glorify God and help humanity. Meet Dr. (Mrs.) Olufunke Adetuberu, a self-described "wounded healer" with a heart for people. She established the "Women's College of Ministry," the "School of Finishing Touches," and the "Men's College of Ministry," In addition to these, she presents the radio show "She Matters" and the television show "Straight Talk." She is a wife, mother, grandmother, pastor, and life coach. Reading her interview will make you emotional, but it will also inspire and encourage you as she shares the amazing acts of grace that happened in the life of a person who the world thought was a mistake until her father chose to show her off for his own glory. You will also discover why "giving up" is not an option in the fight to fulfill your life's mission.

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Basically, I'm here to make a difference in people's lives. I believe that all women must die empty-handed. Nobody is born with the intention of enriching the grave. gemWOMAN 45

GW: We're thrilled to have you as our cover personality. Could you tell us a little bit about yourself? RFA: First and foremost, it is gratifying to state that gemWOMAN Magazine is an internationally successful publication that portrays femininity as the epitome of perfection, elegance, and beauty. I congratulate the Publisher, Pastor (Mrs.) Olawale, and her team on the magazine's unique and wonderful job. Without equivocation, this magazine's exquisite presentation cannot be overstated. My name is Dr. (Mrs.) Olufunke Adetuberu, and I am a favored child of God. I am a spirit-ﬁlled, born-again child of God who has been graciously graced by God's mercies. I am the founder of the Women's College of Ministry, the School of Finishing Touches, and, lately, the Men's College of Ministry. By God's grace, I'm also honored to anchor a radio program called "She Matters" on Fresh FM, as well as a television program called "Straight Talk" in Nigeria and parts of Europe. I am the mother and grandmother of great men. Basically, I'm here to make a difference in people's lives. I believe that all women must die empty-handed. Nobody is born with the intention of enriching the grave. God anointed us to bless and touch lives rather than the grave. It is critical that we maximize our individual potential, which we have been given as a gift from God.

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GW: Tell us about a day in your life. RFA: I start each day by worshiping God and reading the Bible. On other occasions, I begin with intercessory prayer. I am not a routine person; I follow God's lead in whatever I do each day. There are moments when all I want to do is listen to praise music and dance in front of God. I keep my attention on what the Holy Spirit is prompting my spirit to do. With God, I can't afford to be stereotyped. After that, I go to the gym to work out and swim. Swimming is one of my favorite ways to stay in shape. Following that, either in the ofﬁce or online, I attend to all formal appointments and matters for the day. Without equivocation, I declare that every day is "thrilling and amazing!" for me.

I don't have to be ashamed of my past. My past does not exist in the present.

GW: You had a tough upbringing and would not have qualied for your current position. But God really picked you out of the miry clay and transformed you into a vessel of honor. Please share the work of grace in your life with us. RFA: Growing up was difﬁcult for me because I lived in a nasty, awful, and dysfunctional environment. When I gave my life to Christ, my life took a turn for the better. God's salvation did not condemn my history, but rather demonstrated God's love for me. The gospel of Christ is vindicating rather than condemning. Only the love of God could have rescued me from such a deplorable situation. My past was so sour that it didn't appear as if I could produce anything important or fruitful. I occasionally ponder how I arrived at this position or level of accomplishment. It was only by God's grace that I was able to escape

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the horrors of life. To tap into any ray of hope for grandeur and glory in life, one must first feel the grace of God's love. In my life and ministry, God has done exceedingly powerful things, and retelling them would be tedious. The Women's School of Ministry has graduated fifty sets of women from diverse walks of life. Thousands of unhappy, dejected, and worried women are visibly changed into God's champions and conquerors. Also in the Men's school of ministry testimonies abound to God's glory. The Calvary works of Jesus Christ's salvation are real, as are His finished works on the cross. In my life, I can see God's grace in action daily. GW: You're not afraid to talk about your past. Which traumatic childhood experience do you consider a blessing in disguise in terms of your current position as a pastor and life coach? RFA: I have no fear or guilt about discussing my history since God has given me complete triumph over it; God has made me victorious in every aspect of my existence. My brother-inlaw was in attendance when I was a guest minister at a program several years ago, and he was astonished when he heard me speak about

my history publicly. He then told me that my past was my property, and that I could use it in whatever way I wanted. That sentence struck a chord with me. The bible states in 2 Corinthians 5:17, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; see, all things have become new." I don't have to be ashamed of my past. My past does not exist in the present. I don't live in the past; I live in the now. I've been given a calling from God. Once I became a believer, I was granted a ministry of reconciliation. This means I've been given the task of reconciling the world to Christ Jesus through the experiences I've had in the past. Nobody develops beyond their current deg ree of exposure. Coming from a dysfunctional family had a mental, emotional, psychological, and educational impact on me. It had an impact on almost every aspect of my life. Only the human spirit is saved when we are born again; the human soul and body are not. The soul is the repository of suffering, trauma, and abuse; it is the repository of rejection, molestation, and all other improbabilities. Nobody can ﬂy successfully without dumping unneeded cargo; every airplane has a limited capacity. A plane that is overloaded is doomed to crash. This is true in all walks of life. Those with baggage in their souls are unable to ﬂy effortlessly through life's

To tap into any ray of hope for grandeur and glory in life, one must first feel the grace of God's love.

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pursuits.People who have been sexually or verbally assaulted are typical examples of those who bear negative soul weights. When a person's self-esteem is damaged, he or she becomes vulnerable. Humans are emotional beings, and the wounds of their souls are invisible to the human eye. Problems with the soul are not evident. Medical technology can detect disorders in the human body, but this is not true of spiritual issues. Certain acts and reactions that are unconsciously responded to are used to detect spiritual issues. As a result of

my psychological issues, I became a wounded healer. Those with spiritual wounds remain hidden. They act as though everything is ﬁne, even when it isn't. You may be correct in assuming that I am a professor when it comes to dealing with emotional baggage because I have been free of mine. There is no way I would have been able to experience and deal with people's emotional issues if I hadn't had a sour childhood. According to the Psalmist, it is good for me that I have been afﬂicted so that I may learn your statutes.

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Some behaviors and emotions that are unconsciously responded to reveal soulical disorders. A wounded healer because of soul issues. Souls are masked. They act ﬁne when they aren't. As a result of my own healing, you could say I am an expert in dealing with emotional baggage. Because I have felt this pain, I can appreciate its pain. I overcame my soul's sorrow. I didn't have to die for me to live, so I overcame my pain by confessing that. This was a life-changing experience, in my opinion. The ability to feel and handle people's emotions would not have been possible if I hadn't grown up in an impoverished environment. Those who have been healed become master healers. Because I was once a victim, I can recognize and address others' complicated emotional wounds.

GW: As a minister and life coach, you are not hesitant to talk about your history. What bad childhood experience do you consider a blessing in disguise? RFA: God has given me entire triumph over my history, so I have no need to be fearful or ashamed of it. God has made me triumphant in all areas of life, so I no longer fear failure or defeat. While guest ministering at a program, my brother-in-law was astonished to hear me openly discuss my background. His response was that my past was mine to sell or use as I pleased. This struck a chord with me. My history is my business! It says in 2 Corinthians 5:17 that we should not be ashamed of our past. All things have become new because of Christ's death. My history isn't present. I don't live in the past. God has given me a calling. My ministry of reconciliation began when I accepted Christ. I am then called to help the world get back together with Christ Jesus because of my past experiences.

GW: To what extent has Tamar's life inspired you in your inspirational teachings? RFA: That their stories would be told or compiled for us to read now is a mystery. They didn't have the Bible or the Holy Spirit back then. They didn't have access to mentors or literature like we do today. Still, they had a remarkable existence. In this generation's writings, they become a voice and loudness.

Everyone has a story. Their upbringing shapes or programs their evolution. Nobody outgrows their adversity. Growing up in a chaotic family impacted my mental, emotional, and educational development. It influenced almost every aspect of my life. The human spirit is saved when we are reborn, but not the soul or the body. Pain, trauma, and abuse are all stored in the soul, along with rejection, molestation, and other atypical experiences. Life experiences, whether happy or unpleasant, reflect on the soul. The Bible mentions people who had troubles in their lives because of what occurred to them as they grew up, which I found interesting. Their experiences became burdens. Flying requires dumping unneeded loads; every airplane has a capacity limit. A packed airliner will crash. Everything in life is like that. Life is difficult for those who have baggage in their souls. Soul afflictions and pains must be let go to thrive in life. Negative soul loads are common among people who have been sexually or verbally assaulted. Self-esteem issues make victims of abuse more susceptible. A human's soul can't be seen; it's a hidden emotion. Invisible spiritual issues Unlike medical technology, which can detect physical disorders, spiritual issues cannot.

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As a member of a privileged generation, I vowed to fully utilize the advantages provided to me. Living a lower life would be wasteful. We have the Bible, the Holy Spirit, mentors, the internet, and books; God has equipped us better.

I believe that all women must die empty-handed. Nobody is born with the intention of enriching the grave.

Tamar is a notable Biblical character. A lady who deﬁed all odds and inﬂuenced her generation. She was a powerful woman who knew emotional suffering, baggage, and rejection. A married addict herself, she knew what it was like. Her spouses were junkies. In contrast, one was addicted to rage and domestic violence, and the other was not. She married into a troubled and disorganized family environment. Living a life full of puzzles she couldn't explain was tough for her. God wrote her life's story; the unbreakable woman remained unbowed and bent. Tamar's life inspires us. In the end, she married two wicked guys. Her bad husband had to be killed by God. She was barren and bereaved twice, so her grief was deep and dual. No solace for her. After two marriages, she had nothing!

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There is no way I would have been able to experience and deal with people's emotional issues if I hadn't had a sour childhood. According to the Psalmist, it is good for me that I have been afflicted so that I may learn your statutes.

Since she couldn't leave her husband's family to marry somewhere else, she was stuck. Her deceased husband's family tradition barred her from leaving to start a new life. In that cruel and psychotic family, Tamar had to dig deep to survive. She is an inspiration to everyone who is in pain. Her story inspires those married to addicts and narcissists. Tamar inspires bruised, broken, and scattered women. She is an inspiration for women in violent marriages who desire to succeed in life. I admire her for not giving up, no matter what she is going through. She is a role model for powerful women. She is a multifaceted inspiration! God uttered a prophecy over Judah's ancestors. Tamar wasn't going to let it slip away. She was committed to following God's mandate despite human conventions. She focused on God's promises, not men's rejections. She realized she was a part of Jesus Christ's family tree. In the end, Tamar survived because she had a clear vision of her destiny. Deformity can be overcome with the appropriate knowledge. It is exceedingly difﬁcult to comprehend. I despise ignorance; it is the nemesis of excellence. She was delivered through knowledge. GW: You and your husband have been married for 36 years. What has been your favourite experience of being married to him? RFA: Someone once asked him why he allows me to preach more on television and radio than he does. His answer gave me an experience that I will never forget. He replied to the person, "My wife bears my name. Whatever she does reﬂects me." If my husband had listened to the person, maybe I would not have attained this level in ministry. My husband does not see my mandate as a threat to his. I appreciate my husband a lot. He gives me a free hand in my ministry to the glory of God.

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GW: You are a mother, grandmother, pastor, pastor’s wife, author, mentor, and coach. How do you manage all these to have a balance? RFA: Great men are graced men. It takes deter mination to be relevant in life. Determination is achieved by being focused. I am a private person who hardly parties. I ensure that my time is properly managed. By the grace of God, I want to write 7,000 books before I die. To achieve this feat and manage my home, children, and grandchildren while remaining healthy, I must set my priorities right. GW: You prevailed over your son, Prophet G.F. Adetuberu, to believe in himself when he wanted to give up. What advice will you give to pastors on raising their children right?’ RFA: The issue of my son is another case of grace and mercy. God entrusted his life to me in order for me to raise prophet G.F. My advice to pastors is to note that it is dangerous to impose the calling of ministry on your children, I say. Identify the mandate of your children; it could be a calling for a career, ministry, or profession. Never give up on them, irrespective of what they are passing through. I have sown serious prophetic seeds on behalf of my children so that they can focus and fulﬁll their mandates. As parents, they would need you to support, encourage, and empower them. keep praying. The child you are praying for can never be lost. GW: You had your fair share of rejection as a young adult. How would you counsel someone facing rejection? RFA: Rejection is not really a wall; it is a door that leads to another. It is not a platform for you to enter the pit, but an opportunity to progress into the palace. When you are rejected, don't reject yourself. Joseph was rejected by his brothers. Although he was rejected, he progressed and prospered in the palace. David was a person who battled and

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overcame rejection. Tamar and Esther are also mentioned in the Bible as women who overcame rejection. Rejection can only affect your feelings, not your future. The devil wants you to feel rejected. God always wants to see you rejoice. All the challenges in life have an expiry date. Don’t allow the circumstances around your life to cause you rejection.

then sensitize people on the mode of operation of rapists and how to evade or overcome them. When you passionately sensitize people on how to avoid similar messes, your mess becomes a message. When you overcome the challenges of life, your pain becomes your passion. People still talk bitterly about their pain because they are still hurting. A message is formed out of your mess when you grow out of it. You cannot ﬂourish in your message until you overcome the pain of the mess.

GW: A lot of people, especially the youth, no longer wait for God's leading but have taken to social media dating and matchmaking. RFA: Life is too short to be handled casually or carelessly. The challenge with the people of this generation is that they are not growing spiritually. They are not reading their Bibles and edifying books; they are reading and focusing on the dirt of social media. Growth in spiritual things comes from studying the Bible and Christian books, and not wasting precious time on social media. Social media is a place for the opinions of men. But nobody grows in God by the opinions of men. God does not choose for people, but rather leads people to choose. Life partners are not chosen on the streets of social media; they are chosen by God's leading. If you can’t discern the voice of God in little things when it comes to marriage, how do you expect God to lead you? Jesus said, my sheep hear my voice, the voice of a stranger, they will not obey. To be led by God, you must have trained yourself to always hear God. People are trained to hear God through His Word and not the philosophies of men. The more you ponder the Word of God, the more you will be tuned in to hearing God. GW: You've always said that there's a message in every mess; what advice do you have for people who feel worthless because of the mess life has thrown at them? RFA: Having a mess is not the real issue; what matters is coming out of it and using the issues of the mess to bless others. For example, a raped person who gets healed of the pain and trauma thereof can become a wounded healer. She can

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GW: What would you say is a major challenge women in ministry today face? RFA: The major challenge for women in the ministry is the traditions of men. Many people haven't been able to do well because they are ruled by opinions that don't follow God's rules. GW: What inspired the title of one of your books, "ANOINTED BUT ADDICTED"? RFA: The David mentioned in the Bible was anointed but addicted. Addiction simply means indulging repeatedly in a certain habit, which eventually forms into a patterned lifestyle. To be anointed is not enough; you must come clean of your addictions to excel in your endeavors. Reading the book will help you understand the dynamism of living. GW: Any last comments for women facing difculties while striving to succeed in their ministry?

Nobody can fly successfully without dumping unneeded cargo; every airplane has a limited capacity.

RFA: Every woman should know that challenges are for champions. Every star has a scar; scars are meant to be turned into stars. You cannot give up in life; you have gone too far from where you started. Take advantage of mentors when facing challenges; consult those who have faced similar situations. Relate with those who understand what you have gone through. Don't relate to a mentor who does not wear your shoes. Talk to someone who will benefit your life and ministry. Talking to the wrong people can be damaging. A problem shared is half solved. It is not everyone who understands addiction, trauma, or personality disorders. The wrong people would definitely give the wrong counsel. The right mentor will give you the right counsel. The right counsel will help you grow, move, and fly.

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SPIRITUALITY

A NEW HEART AND

A NEW SPIRIT - Ronke Adeoti

Psalm 51, verses 10–12. “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit."

he scripture above is the cry of a man who was in desperate need of help from God. He knew if God did not help him, there was no other place he could turn to for the predicament he found himself in. He needed a new heart and a new spirit desperately. The above Psalm was written by David, whom God referred to as a man after his heart, but do you know what? David missed it and messed up big time in 2 Sam chapters 11 and 12. Let’s pause a bit and ask ourselves why David was not at the battle ﬁeld at that time. Was it that he was tired and needed some rest, or was he going through some emotional struggles which no one was aware of, not even himself ? How did he ﬁnd himself in this position as King David of Israel? Why did he have to orchestrate the death of one of his men named Uriah the Hittite, the husband of Bathsheba, whom he laid with and impregnated? What was the reason behind him covering up his tracks? Uriah, as God would have it, did none of the things King David had asked of him. After all the tricks and seeing that none of them worked, King David, however, handed the letter of death of this innocent man to the head warrior to ensure he was placed in the battle front, and he instructed Joab to retire or retreat from him so that he might be smitten and ensure his death. 2 Samuel 11 vs. 15King David

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thought he had it all sorted out; it was neatly executed with no trace of him being involved, but he forgot that there is a God in heaven who sees and knows all things. There’s nothing hidden in his sight. Even if you hide in the deepest of the deep, he’s right there. We have a God who sees everything and nothing can miss his attention. I once heard a story of two people that planned to go to a place to fornicate. They actually got a hotel room at which they thought nobody would ever know them. On getting there, they looked around to be sure nobody familiar was in sight. After that, they got a room and locked the door securely. But something happened which stopped their plan. The lady told the guy, "We looked all around to be sure nobody knew us here, but we forgot to look up." In other words, nobody might see us, but God sees, and because of this, their plan was thwarted. Cain felt nobody saw him when he killed his brother Abel because of anger and envy, but God saw it and inquired after him, but Cain said, "Am I my brother’s keeper." Remember that the Lord's eyes roam the entire earth, according to the Bible.God knows and sees all things. Instead of hiding, he expects us to come clean and open up to him. To David’s utmost surprise, God sent his Prophet Nathan to him in 2 Samuel 12, who spoke a parable to him, not knowing he was invariably sending a message from God to him. David, not knowing what the parable meant, started casting the stone, but the Prophet said to him in vs. 7. "Thou art the man." Imagine David’s reaction. He would have been surprised and shocked at the same time. For the Prophet Nathan said in vs. 12: "For you did it secretly." We need to learn from this story: we cannot hide forever and sweep our secret sins under the carpet.

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SPIRITUALITY

Many people are going through a lot of emotional struggles and developing addictive lifestyles that many of their relatives and friends are not aware of, and they are ﬁnding it hard to let go of. These include depression, phobias, sexual addictions, some of which are hooked on pornography, drugs, etc. The good news is that there is help, or should I say, you can be helped from these struggles and addictive lifestyles. You can be free from these struggles. The bible says that he who the son of man has set free is free indeed. You can be free indeed if you go down the right path. Let us take a look at some steps we can take to help us heal from emotional struggles and addictive behaviors. 1.

Acknowledge your struggle and weakness: "There is no problem too big that God cannot solve; there’s no mountain too tall that he cannot move; there’s no storm too dark that God cannot calm; and there’s no sorrow too deep that he cannot soothe it." If he carried the weight of the world upon his shoulders, he would carry you. "What addictive lifestyle or emotional struggle are you challenged with right now? Give it to Jesus, allow him to enter that deep place, and he will shine his light in and bring you peace.

2. Be willing to heal: as much as possible, try to open up. Get help and look for someone you can talk to. 3. Accept help from others; he who lives alone will die alone. Don’t be a lone ranger, get a support system and accept support from others too. 4. Speak out and speak up: as much as it lies within you, let people know what you’re going through and don’t keep hurting and hurting yourself. 5. Seek help from professionals and mentors, or your spiritual oversight. Just endeavour to get help by every possible means.

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SPIRITUALITY

6. Have someone you’re accountable to: that will watch your back and your tracks, and you’ll always give feedback on your progress too. 7. Cry out to God for a new heart and a new spirit; this is achievable only with the help of God. I will give you a new heart and spirit and place them within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. 8. Reconnect with God; he is the only one who knows where you are hurting. Instead of running away from him, run towards him. That’s the safest haven. According to Proverbs 18, the name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run into it and are safe. vs 10. 9. Stop listening to the lies of the devil through what you see, hear, on social media, etc. Many are deluded and fall into depression or phobias just because of the lies the devil is throwing at them. Hence, the reason why you need a new heart and a new spirit. Liberation is possible in Christ. Why not surrender and give him your pains, struggles, and addictive tendencies and just roll them over to him? He cares for you and loves you. If you are willing to yield your pains over to God, please say this prayer after me: Dear God in heaven, I come to you today in the name of your son, Jesus. I ask that you help me with these emotional struggles and addictive behaviors. I pray that your grace will be sufficient for me as you give me a new heart and a new spirit as we go together on this journey of renewal and wholeness in Jesus' name. Thank you, Father God, for making me whole again in Jesus' name, amen. Congratulations as you begin your journey of the New Heart and a New Spirit in Jesus name, amen.

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WE'VE GOT MALE

Release the old and embrace the new. Pastor Dammy Timothy

Isaiah 43:18-1918 "Do not remember the former things, Nor consider the things of old. 19 Behold, I will do a new thing, Now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness And rivers in the desert.

any years ago, when I was serving as an associate pastor in a ministry in Africa, I came across a lady who was very bitter because of what she’d been through in her life. It was so terrible that she could not open up to anyone for many years. She said that she was sexually abused by her father six times when she was growing up. She became bitter against her father. Secondly, she hated herself and was trapped in low self-esteem. Thirdly, she was on a revenge mission against men. She was in this prison until she met Jesus and gave her life to Christ. Everyone has a story to tell about the events of life. I have been through a lot in life and I have learnt so many lessons about moving forward to achieve my dreams and goals in the future. Quite a lot of people are still foolishly holding on to so many things that they should let go. I have been sexually abused before as a young kid. I have been battered, beaten and thrown into obscurity by situations, conditions, and circumstances of life in so many ways, but I have refused to let those events of life determine my destiny. People whom I trusted have come back to hurt me, and this affected my life negatively, but I have learnt to let go and move on in life.

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I know that so many of you reading this piece at this time can relate to the picture painted above. The opening scripture of this article says that "God will do a new thing." God cannot do anything new in your life if you are still holding on to the old. You have to release the old to embrace the new. You cannot drive life’s road without sometimes hitting bumps like regrets, disappointments, and tragedies. When you do, it’s easy to get stuck there, gazing back into your rear-view mirror at the past. But God wants you to move on toward the future He has planned for you. It’s a future ﬁlled with hope — but to get there, you’ve got to turn your focus forward and look through the windshield at the road ahead. Jeremiah 29:11 (NKJV)11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. You must be willing to trust in God’s unsurpassed power, wisdom, and love when He urges you to keep going into the future. Don’t linger in any place where God is calling you to leave. Be willing to put your own agenda aside to follow wherever God leads you. Offense is one of the things that can get people held down, but realize that holding on to bitterness will only continue to hurt you more by poisoning your soul. Understand that there is only one antidote to that poison: forgiveness.Decide not to allow people who have wronged you to keep controlling your life and distancing you from God. You must always remember all that God has forgiven you for, and allow your gratitude and love for Him to motivate you to do what He says.You must always be willing to forgive. When people repeatedly offend you, what do you do? Jesus said to Peter to forgive about 490 times in a day. This is a long rope of forgiveness. Expect God to clear bitterness out of your life as you

forgive. If you are bitter, you cannot be better in life. Please note that letting go is one of the hardest things to do. It’s so easy to try to hold on to things, but we must trust that our Lord has something better. Letting go of a relationship, hurt, fear, past mistakes, sin, guilt, slander, anger, failures, regrets, worry, etc. is easier when we realize that God is in control. God has allowed and used these things and these people in your life to build you up. Now you must let go and move on. Paul said in Philippians 3:13-1413 Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, 14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. In conclusion, you cannot go forward by looking backwards. What God has in store for you is never in the past. He has something better than that hurting situation. He has something greater than your worries and your fears. I would like you to know that your past does not determine your future. Please invite God to help you understand His purposes for your life and give you a vision for the new adventures He has in store for you. Your greatest potential can only be realized in and through Jesus. Pray to Him to assist you in reaching your full potential.Boldly step into your future. God has something greater than your past mistakes, but you must trust in Him, stand strong, let go, and keep on moving to see what God has in store for you. Pray and trust the Holy Spirit, who is our great comforter, to help you. May you receive grace to move ahead in Jesus name. Amen!

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Dear Friends, are you preparing a speech for that big event or special occasion? .Lets help you craft a seamless speech that leaves your audience speechless For a free advisory service, contact : Kehinde +2348034083844

KANDID TALKS

2022 has started with a lot of faith-filled words and proclamations to stir us in a positive and determined direction. It has certainly built up momentum in me as a child of God that our loving father truly cares for every single detail that pertains to us.

Happy New Year How can we ensure that these words have an effect on us so that we can begin to see and reap the full realization and beneﬁts?

How to have a

- Kehinde Adollo

Here are some ways to commence your faith forward plan for 2022

Write down the faith-ﬁlled words that pertain to you.

Align them with God's word and promises daily, searching the scriptures for it.

Personalize them with your name and the names of your loved ones.

Stay away from distracting things like negative news (online and ofﬂine), and associations that don't inspire you. This is so key.

3. Put them on your laptop, in front of the mirror, or on the fridge to remind you of them on a daily basis.

Fill your ears with faith-ﬁlled messages and surround yourself with dream builders, encouragers, motivators, and lifters.

7. Always expect the best, even in the most challenging situations; it is working for your good [it is all part of the process.

To be continued.....

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DECISION PAGE

I am

DETERMINED

TO BREAK THE YOKE - Francis Unuze

"He who has no command over his own spirit is like a broken-down city with no walls." 25:28 (Proverbs) As Christians, we downplay a life-threatening factor either because we are afraid to address it or because we believe that discussing it is a sin. Yet, even in Christendom, this threat has robbed many of their g reat salvation experiences. What is this threat, you might ask? "Anger" is the name.

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What exactly is anger? Anger is a negative emotion deﬁned by hostility toward someone or something you believe has wronged you on purpose. Anger can be beneﬁcial. It might help you vent negative emotions or encourage you to discover answers to issues, for example. Excessive rage, on the other hand, can be problematic.

According to the Oxford Dictionary, anger is a powerful emotion that you experience when something bad or unfair happens to you. You have every right to be upset. Life throws us a lot of curveballs and unexpected situations that naturally make us angry. Unanswered prayers, delayed promotions, frustration and humiliation, guilt of not meeting one's responsibilities, jealously, hurt, sadness, threat, false charges, or sudden severance from family and loved ones are all reasons for people to become furious. Anger is, however, unconcerned about your spiritual status. Anger is a powerful emotion, as Jesus demonstrated in the temple, where He exhibited righteous anger and holiness. This isn't always wicked or harmful. "Be furious but not sinful; do not let the sun go down on your wrath," advised Apostle Paul. What counts most, however, is what we do with our anger. Anger can be expressed in various ways Chronic rage: is a type of anger that lasts for a long time and can affect the immune system as well as induce other mental illnesses. Passive rage: This isn't always manifested as rage and can be difﬁcult to spot. Overwhelmed rage: is a reaction to life demands that are too much for a person to handle. It can be caused by guilt. Self-inﬂicted rage: This is anger directed at oneself, and it can be caused by guilt. Judgmental rage: is aimed towards others and may be accompanied by sentiments of hatred. Volatile anger: is characterized by sporadic outbursts of intense or violent rage.

Anger is often referred to as only a temporary madness that leaves scars of regret behind. Anger may not always manifest itself as a physical explosion, but it may still cause havoc in your life. When you keep thinking about the hurt and recalling every detail, and you start putting distance between yourself and those who have wounded you, it's a sign that anger is building up, and it's time to address it. Putting distance between yourself and the person or relationship will not help the pain go away. You can act as if the problem doesn't exist by avoiding anyone who upsets you, but this will just harm your relationships and lead to you creating walls and living a walled existence. You may become enraged as a result of being hurt, cheated, neglected, or disregarded. You may have suffered a signiﬁcant loss and be unsure of how to cope. When you're furious, you usually have a valid reason; it's because you've been injured. Anger is a natural reaction to being injured, but repressed anger simmers and becomes bitterness. How does one go about addressing anger so it doesn't end up destroying one? It's important to remember that it's okay to be angry. You can't keep it bottled up because it's riskier than expressing it. Vengeance is primarily motivated by bottled rage. If you're angry or provoked, take a mindful step away from the situation until you've calmed down. Recognize and accept the emotion as natural and necessary. Try to determine the speciﬁc reasons for your rage. Once you've discovered the issue, think about several techniques for dealing with it, because your peace is valuable to both you and God, who provided it to you via Christ Jesus. Talk to a trusted friend or family member about how you're feeling. Just be honest with yourself at this time. Please respond honestly to the following questions: Who has caused you the most pain? With whom have you not made peace? When you have harsh thoughts, who does the Holy Spirit bring to mind?

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DECISION PAGE

Once you have answered these questions, you need to engage in the seven step plan highlighted below: Seven steps to a life free of pain: 1. 2.

Begin by praying to God for forgiveness and the restoration of His love in your heart. Approach the person who has offended in a prayerful manner and address the hurt in order to restore peace. Stop denying that the crime occurred. To avoid repeating the offense, stop fencing yourself against friends and family. You must forgive as God forgave you in Christ. Cancel the debt and set free the individual who has wronged you in order to receive God's forgiveness and peace. "Forgive us our transgressions, for we forgive everyone who transgresses against us." (Luke 11:4 NASB) Give them forgiveness as a gift. Forgiveness is a gift from God to you, not just for them. Take away that person's power over you and your emotions by changing your reaction to the harmful incident in a good way. Instead of seeking vengeance, let God have His way. Because the Lord says, "Vengeance is mine; I will recompense."According to Romans 12:19, Why? Because God must be the ﬁnal arbiter of justice. God is righteous, and he is the wisest. Recognize that forgiveness is both a choice and a process. It may take some time to address a number of concerns.

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To clear your conscience, make sure you've forgiven them and sincerely pray for God's blessing on them, rather than wishing them harm. Once you've accomplished this, you'll feel more cheerful, relaxed, happier, healthier, and better able to sleep. Having this kind of self-awareness and controlling yourself will make you feel like you did well and help you build stronger relationships. You have the ability to be set free.

Have you been battling with the "ANGER" threat and want to get rid of it? There is nothing that God cannot accomplish. You have the ability to break free from that shackle. The ultimate deliverer is Jesus. Today, cry out to God for assistance. If you haven't yet given your life to Christ, why not make the decision to do so today and be set free? All you have to do is say the following prayer and mean it completely. "Lord Jesus, I give my heart to you today." I am tired of being lost. I understand and appreciate that you are the good shepherd who looks for lost sheep. I come to you today so I may ﬁnd joy, hope, and tranquility in you. My life is yours from today. Thank you for dying so I might live. I receive you into my heart as my Lord and saviour. I am BORN_AGAIN. I am set free. "Lord, thank you for rescuing me."If you said the prayer above with sincerity, you are now a child of God. Congratulations! Do join a Bible-believing church and read the Bible on a regular basis.

FOR SINGLES

How can you, therefore, be single and happy? The following recommendations may help:

YOU CAN BE

SINGLE AND HAPPY - Bola Olawale

Do you feel as though all of y o u r f r i e n d s a r e i n relationships? And it seems that many of the people around you are getting married. Being single might feel extremely awkward. There is considerable shame and worry associated with "failure" to ﬁnd a spouse, and because you appear to be the "weird one out," there is a propensity to internalize being single as a result of feeling unwanted or unlovable. Of course, this is not true. You must recognize that you cannot compare the journeys of two people. 2 Cor 10:12"For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise."

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Prioritize the right connections.

Pray and make bold declarations.

Don’t isolate yourself. Make friends and be part of a community. The more socially connected you are, the better your mental health will be. Isolation and disconnection almost always cause anxiety and despair.

Prayer indeed changes things and perspectives. Always declare to yourself that you are on your journey of becoming and so is your future partner. "They're putting in the effort necessary to be the person I require in a relationship, and I'm doing the same. We will reunite when the moment is appropriate to continue our journey together. "

Make time for yourself.

Take care of yourself, make time for yourself, and concentrate on you. This is the time to determine what you truly desire in life. It's an incredible opportunity to "date" and become acquainted with oneself. Participate in group activities.

Take a class, or start a side business. " Take advantage of the fact that you have free evenings and weekends and are not bound by someone else's schedule. Whether it's a painting class or launching a side hustle, you have the freedom now to pursue whatever interests you have. It's a chance to discover new hobbies and activities that bring you delight. Make goals and keep a growth mindset.

Being single enables us to truly hold ourselves accountable, to provide for ourselves, and to make our own decisions and pursue our own goals. Utilize this time to clarify your goals, whether personal, ﬁnancial, or otherwise. Each time you accomplish a new objective, take a moment to reﬂect on how far you've come. It's critical to keep your perspective while single in order to avoid feeling sorry for yourself during what could be a wonderful time in your life.

Keep in mind that you will not be single forever. It is only a matter of time.

This season will pass. If you desire to be in a relationship someday, it will almost certainly happen. Statistically, you're almost certain to enter into a relationship at some point, and while marriage can be beautiful, we rarely discuss the sacriﬁces it entails. Also, as a Christian who has faith, God surely answers prayers. Therefore, savor the freedom of solo life while it lasts! We all deserve to be happy, whether we are single or not. When you can embrace your single status and use the opportunity to build your feelings of self-worth and clarity about what you truly want, the beneﬁts will spread throughout your life. Relationships are nice, but nothing beats enjoying your own company and loving who you are, regardless of whether you are single or married.

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CUISINE

- Seyi Farinu

Happy New Year, wonderful women! God has been so amazing. He has kept us and our families despite all the uncertainty in the world today. He is indeed very devoted to His own. The year started out interesting for me, and I am sure it did similarly for you. I work in the dietary department of a healthcare facility, and it’s my job to ensure my residents are fed healthy and nutritious meals. As a side note, I live in Canada, where the weather goes from sunny one day to -40 degrees the next. So, here I am working in healthcare with COVID scares and flu season just behind us, and this thought comes to mind: "I need to come up with a recipe that is super easy to make, delicious, and also filled with loads of immune-building ingredients that would help fight whatever flu-like symptoms we might get". This recipe is easy to make but extremely delicious! It’s a combination of my two favourite soups: Vietnamese Seafood Pho and Nigerian Fish Peppersoup. I hope you give it a try! It's like a hug in a bowl!

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CUISINE

Preparation Time: 10 minutes

Time to cook: 30 minutes

It serves 2 people

Ingredients 200 g prawns, whole and unpeeled 2 salmon fillets (you can use any fish you’d like. I chose salmon because it’s packed with omega-3 fatty acids) 1 bruised lemongrass stalk 1 medium diced onion 1 sliced ginger thumb 3 mashed garlic cloves. 4 Thai basil sprigs 6 Cilantro Leaf 1 Scotch Bonnet Pepper 1 teaspoon of cayenne pepper 1 teaspoon ground white pepper 3 tbsp. Peppersoup Spice Blend Crayfish Powder, 1 tbsp. 1 tsp. fish sauce 1L of chicken or vegetable broth (homemade or store-bought)

Noodles of your choice to serve (e.g., egg noodles, vermicelli noodles). I used kelp vermicelli, which contains 3g of carbs, so they’re a wonderful alternative. Hello Keto!) 1 cup spinach (or another hearty leafy green) 2 tablespoons of canola oil (or other neutral oil) 1 teaspoon sea salt Ingredients for Homemade Peppersoup Spice Mix 1 teaspoon ground peppercorn 1 tsp. cayenne pepper powder 2 tsp. allspice powder 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg 1 teaspoon ginger powder1 teaspoon of cayenne pepper 1/4 teaspoon of fennel seeds, ground 1/4 tsp cumin (ground)

Directions The foundation of every good soup is the broth. Since I would be cheating by using a store-bought broth, it was very important that I develop as much flavour as I could. To achieve this, I used the prawn heads, shells, and bones from my salmon fillet. Also, I used dried crayfish and fish sauce, which are umami bombs, to create a depth of flavour. Step 1: Prepare the seafood. Prawns: Devine the prawns by removing their heads and tails. Peel the shells from the prawns. Squeeze the tail to remove it from the body. Use a small sharp knife to make a slit along the middle of the back to expose the dark vein. Pull out the vein (it’s the poop) and set it aside. The shells, heads, and tails will be used for the broth. Fish: I used salmon belly, so all I did was cut out the bones and then cut the fillet into medium-sized chunks. Season seafood lightly with salt and pepper and set it aside. Step 2: Make the Broth. On medium-high heat, add 2 tablespoons of oil to a stock pot. When the oil is slightly heated, add the prawn heads, shells, and fish bones. Let that sweat evaporate uncovered for 5 minutes to release its flavour into the oil. Next, add your dried crayfish, peppersoup spice mix, cayenne, and white pepper into the mix (this will bloom the dry spices) and stir continuously for 5 minutes. Add in your onions, garlic, ginger, lemongrass, Thai basil stems, cilantro stems, and scotch bonnet, and let that cook for another 5 minutes. Lastly, add in 1 litre of your broth, stir, and turn the heat to low-medium. Season the broth with salt and fish sauce to taste, then cover and simmer for 20 minutes. After 20 minutes, strain the broth and discard the solids. Step 3: Finish. To serve, warm up the broth. Cook the noodles of your choice according to the packet instructions. Simmer prawns and salmon fillets in broth until they're cooked. Divide the noodles and broth among serving bowls. Serve with cooked salmon, shrimp, and spinach on top. Enjoy the soup hot. I guarantee you will enjoy it and feel much better.

Note: While no food can prevent or cure COVID-19 or ﬂu infection, a healthy diet rich in nutrients is essential for immune system support.

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Prayer answered Two guys are walking through a game park & they come across a lion that has not eaten for days.The lion starts chasing the two men.They run as fast as they can and the one guy starts getting tired and decides to say a prayer, "Please turn this lion into a Christian and please instill the Holy Spirit its heart, Lord." He looks to see if the lion is still chasing and he sees the lion on its knees. Happy to see his prayer answered, he turns around and heads towards the lion.As he comes closer to the lion, he hears it saying a prayer: "Thank you Lord for the food I am about to receive."

LOVING YOUR ENEMIES A Pastor is preaching on LovingYour Enemies He expounds on the value of grace and forgiveness to all and how we are called to love our neighbors and our enemies as much as we love ourselves. The congregation is roused to action and filled with the Holy Spirit The pastor asks them all "Will you go out into the world and love your enemies?” Every hand in the congregation goes up except for one The pastor sees that it is a little old lady in the front row He asks the woman "Why can't you love your enemies?” The little old lady says "Pastor, I can honestly say I have no enemies” The pastor says "That's incredible, may I ask how old you are?” “96” The pastor says "96 years old and no enemies?That's incredible.Would you mind sharing how you have achieved this? The little old lady totters to the front of the church, turns around to the congregation and says "I outlived all those snakes"

THE KINDERGARTEN TEACHER A kindergarten teacher was walking around observing her classroom of children while they were drawing pictures. As she got to one girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

People are sleeping

The girl replied, “I'm drawing God.”

A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”

The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.”

Annie replied, “Because people are sleeping”

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Without looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.