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EDITORIAL

Editor: Dyana Bagby dbagby@thegavoice.com

IN THIS ISSUE OF GA VOICE

12.19.14

THE GEORGIA VOICE

PO Box 77401 | Atlanta, GA 30357 404-815-6941 | www.thegavoice.com

Deputy Editor: Patrick Saunders psaunders@thegavoice.com Art Director: Rob Boeger rboeger@thegavoice.com

CONTRIBUTORS

Jim Farmer, Vandy Beth Glenn, Cliff Bostock, Shannon Hames, Bill Kaelin, Ryan Lee, Steve Warren

BUSINESS

Publisher: Tim Boyd tboyd@thegavoice.com

Managing Partner: Christina Cash ccash@thegavoice.com Sales Manager: Marshall Graham mgraham@thegavoice.com

of the Year: Georgia’s marriage 7 | People plaintiffs make history

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Top local stories: Daniel Pierce helps LGBT homeless youth, PrEP, trans teen

national stories: Republicans win 14 | Top Senate, Hobby Lobby, Winter Olympics

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Writing their story: Black gay men honor past in planning future

your New Year’s Eve: 25 | Plan Ring in 2015 with one of these parties

Sales Executive: Anne Clarke aclarke@thegavoice.com Business Advisor: Lynn Pasqualetti Financial Firm of Record: HLM Financial Group

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All material in the GA Voice is protected by federal copyright law and may not be reproduced without the written consent of the GA Voice. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers and cartoonists published herein is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or pictorial representation does not necessarily indicate the sexual orientation of that person or persons. We also do not accept responsibility for claims made by advertisers.

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Outspoken: Who said what and why and to whom in 2014

Gentlemen’s Ball honors black 27 | Photos: LGBT leaders

up: Chatting with former bar 29 | Catching owner Deanna Collins

34 | Atlanta this weekend and beyond Best Bets: What’s on tap in LGBT

37 | New columnist Simon Williamson talks about adjusting to country life 38 | Columnist Melissa Carter considers giving in to Christmas retail pressure 39 | Columnist Ryan Lee mourns the mythical ‘golden era of gay courtship’

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GA VOICE | 6

NEWS

12.19.14

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NEWSIN BRIEF JOE’S ON JUNIPER HIT WITH FEDERAL LAWSUIT OVER WAGES, TIPS

Former servers at popular gay Midtown Atlanta restaurant Joe’s on Juniper are suing the restaurant in federal court, alleging the business failed to pay minimum and overtime wages while also shaving off tips.

Atlanta employment law firm Mays & Kerr LLC is representing the servers and is seeking other former Joe’s employees who want to join the suit.

The complaint claims that Joe’s owners and operators “required tipped employees to pay a portion of their tips to non-tipped employees and failed to provide proper notice of its minimum wage obligations to tipped employees.”

The suit also alleges that Joe’s “shaved and altered employee time sheets to avoid paying overtime.”

The plaintiffs are suing Metrotainment Cafes LLC, Political Concepts LLC, and Jeffrey and Amy Landau. Mr. Landau is managing member of both Metrotainment and Political Concepts, which filed for bankruptcy last June. Mrs. Landau is the registered agent for both companies.

In the suit, attorneys are citing the federal Fair Labor Standards Act, which requires certain employers to pay minimum wage and overtime for all time exceeding 40 hours per week. Joe’s on Juniper is owned by Metrotainment Cafes, which owns and runs other popular restaurants in the LGBT community, including Einstein’s and Cowtippers.

Attorney John Mays with Mays & Kerr tells the GA Voice that he and his firm have asked the court for a conditional certification of a collective action. A collective action suit is different from a class action suit, in that employees must opt in for a collective action lawsuit, whereas with a class action the affected employees are presumed to be a part of the class and must opt out if they desire not to be a part.

The Fair Labor Standards Act has a twoyear statute of limitations, but that becomes three years if there are willful violations, which is what attorneys for the plaintiffs claim occurred in this case. The suit was filed on Sept. 8 of this year, so Mays & Kerr is looking for any servers who worked at Joe’s on Juniper on or after Sept. 8, 2011, to join the lawsuit.

APD: ATLANTA REPORTED 12 HATE CRIMES IN 2014

Although Georgia does not have a hate crime law, the Atlanta Police Department tracks hate crimes, including those committed against LGBT people.

As of press time on Dec. 16, there were 12 anti-LGBT hate crimes reported by the APD. The crimes range from assault to making terroristic threats to armed robbery and more, and in most instances the suspect was unknown. Only one arrest had been made in

the 12 cases, and the APD’s LGBT liaison unit was notified in only six of the incidents.

The FBI released its annual Hate Crimes Statistics report on Dec. 8; it shows that one in five hate crimes committed in the U.S. in 2013, the most recent numbers available, were due to bias based on the victim’s sexual orientation, and for the first time, gender identity was a separate bias category.

A total of 5,928 hate crimes involving 6,933 offenses were reported, affecting a total of 7,242 victims. The number of reported hate crimes is down slightly from last year’s report, which showed 6,573 incidents occurring in 2012, according to the FBI. The top three bias categories, according to the FBI report, were race (48.5 percent), sexual orientation (20.8 percent) and religion (17.4 percent). Another 60.6 percent of the reported 1,402 hate crime offenses based on sexual orientation were based on anti-gay male bias. Gender identity accounted for 0.3 percent of the reported incidents.

NATIONAL LGBT ORGS SPEAK OUT AGAINST POLICE KILLINGS

Nearly 50 national LGBT organizations signed an open letter on Dec. 9 stating their solidarity with civil rights groups and activists in demanding change after the recent deaths of black men Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri, and Eric Garner in New York. Brown was shot and killed by a police officer, while Garner died in Staten Island after a police officer put him in a chokehold.

Protests, rallies and riots have taken place across the country, including in Atlanta, denouncing the decisions not to indict the white officers.

Groups signing onto the letter include the Equality Federation, which includes Georgia Equality; the ACLU; Lambda Legal; National Black Justice Coalition; GLAAD; Freedom to Marry; the Human Rights Campaign; PFLAG National; and the Trevor Project.

“As LGBTQ national organizations, we proudly stand in solidarity with the civil rights organizations and local activists—including the actions of an amazing, fierce, brilliant cadre of youth leaders, many of whom are queer identified—in demanding fundamental systemic change that tackles the root causes of racial and economic injustices once and for all,” the letter states.

BARNEY FRANK PREDICTS SCOTUS VOTE ON GAY MARRIAGE

Former U.S. Rep. Barney Frank of Massachusetts predicts the U.S. Supreme Court will take up marriage equality in 2015 and will rule in favor of same-sex marriages for all states.

In an interview published Dec. 16 by Reuters, Frank said he believes SCOTUS will split on the vote, most likely 5-4.

“Of course they’ll say yes. Unless [Justice] Ruth Ginsburg dies. But then they’ll still say yes because it will be a 4-to-4 tie. Based on his prior votes [in other gay rights case], I’m sure [Justice Anthony] Kennedy is going to vote to uphold same-sex marriage,” Frank says.

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‘They present a powerful story’ Georgia’s marriage plaintiffs are GA Voice’s 2014 People of the Year

HOW WE CHOSE OUR PEOPLE OF THE YEAR

In our last issue of 2014, GA Voice names our fifth annual Person (or People) of the Year.

This year we selected the plaintiffs in the federal lawsuit seeking to overturn Georgia’s same-sex marriage ban.

While each of the plaintiffs will tell you they are not activists, we believe that living an honest life is perhaps the most important role of any activist.

We applaud, and thank, the plaintiffs and their families for speaking out for all of us, and working to right the wrong that Georgia voters made into law in 2004 that prohibits same-sex couples from marrying. As states across the nation continue to join those that affirm marriage equality, we can only hope Georgia will one day soon be counted among them. When that happens, it will be thanks to the Inniss plaintiffs.

By PATRICK SAUNDERS One day in November 2004, nine men and women were going about their lives like it was any other day when they heard the news that 76 percent of their friends and neighbors had a message for them—marriage isn’t for you.

They couldn’t have known then what role they would eventually play in attempting to reverse that day’s events. But they would.

This year, they came together. A veterinarian. A flight attendant. A lawyer. A teacher. A pet resort manager. A police officer. An engineer. A Realtor. A professor.

They came to step up and be the plaintiffs in the federal lawsuit challenging Georgia’s 2004 same-sex marriage ban, and they’re GA Voice’s 2014 People of the Year.

We talked to local legal experts about the lawsuit and to the plaintiffs themselves and why they are the perfect people to help lead Georgia into becoming a state that recognizes same-sex marriage.

‘THEY PRESENT A POWERFUL STORY’

Merritt McAlister, senior associate with King & Spalding, is a former law clerk to both Judge R. Lanier Anderson III of the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals and former U.S. Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens. The plaintiffs in this lawsuit are excellent choices because of the variety of stories they represent, she says.

“The Inniss plaintiffs reflect the richness and fullness of our community, and their stories underscore the variety of ways in which not being able to marry in Georgia imposes real costs on our lives,” McAllister says.

“Some of the plaintiffs have been married in other states, yet will be denied basic benefits in Georgia that their marriage would receive elsewhere. Others need the protection of marriage to secure adoption rights, health coverage for their families, and spousal benefits. Collectively, they present a powerful story,” she adds.

And, as importantly, they present powerful stories to which courts can relate. Their stories will resonate with judges who have shared similar experiences—the loss of a partner, creating a family, the risk of losing a loved one in the line of duty, McAllister says.

“We’ve seen how important it is for judges to understand that LGBT families are exactly like their own—especially when it comes to protecting the interests of children raised in LGBT families. Arguments focusing on families, children, and the real

PAST GA VOICE PERSON OF THE YEAR HONOREES

Plaintiff Jennifer Sisson was forced to choose ‘never married’ on her widow’s death certificate, even though they were legally married in New York. (Photo courtesy Lambda Legal)

emotional costs, not just the obvious financial ones, of not being able to marry seem to have resonated well with the courts—even conservative judges.”

‘TRULY A REFLECTION OF THE FABRIC OF GEORGIA SOCIETY’

Tara Borelli, senior attorney at the Southern Regional Office of Lambda Legal, the LGBT legal group that filed the case and is representing the plaintiffs, says she is inspired by the plaintiffs and their willingness to put their lives in the public eye in the fight for everyone’s equality.

“I have been so inspired to get to know these brave individuals and their families.

They are truly a reflection of the fabric of Georgia society. They include teachers, business owners, and a police officer and deployed reservist serving in the Middle East,” Borelli says.

“Many are devoted parents. One of them nursed her beloved spouse through a final fight with terminal illness. It has been such a joy to get to know our plaintiffs, whose stories are truly inspiring. They are a reflection of our best selves, and Lambda Legal is honored to represent them,” she says.

Being honored as the GA Voice’s People of the Year is an honor they deserve, Borelli adds.

“We are so pleased that the GA Voice is recognizing their contribution to our movement. Stepping into the spotlight to bring a case like this is not easy. It takes stamina, fortitude, and dedication,” she explains.

“The plaintiffs devoted countless hours to working with the lawyers as we prepared

their complaint. They have bravely subjected themselves to public scrutiny as part of the important work of telling our stories to change hearts and minds. This takes moral courage, and they have done all of it with such grace.”

THE PLAINTIFFS

n Christopher Inniss, 39, and Shelton Stroman, 42, of Snellville, have been together for 13 years. They adopted a child and because the fathers have different last names, there is often confusion with teachers and physicians. When Stroman tried to legally change his last name, he was “berated” in court by the judge for wanting to share the last name of another man, the lawsuit states. n Rayshawn Chandler, 29, and Avery Chandler, 30, of Jonesboro. Rayshawn is a flight attendant with Delta Air Lines and Avery is a police officer for the Atlanta Police Department and a member of the U.S. Army Reserve. The two legally married in Connecticut on June 26, 2013, and they are planning to have children. The State of Georgia’s refusal to recognize their marriage means one of them might not be recognized on the birth certificate of their children, and Rayshawn won’t be recognized as her spouse if Avery gets killed in the line of duty.

n Michael Bishop, 50, and Shane Thomas, 44, of Midtown Atlanta, have been together for eight years. Michael, a lawyer, and Shane, a Realtor, have two young children.

They worry about the sense of inferiority

2013 — Ria Pell, beloved restaurateur, chef, and activist. She died Nov. 24 and was honored posthumously 2012 — The Atlanta Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence 2011 — Vandy Beth Glenn, who won a landmark court ruling after she was fired for being transgender 2010 — Atlanta Eagle attorney Dan Grossman, who represented the plaintiffs suing over the unconstitutional 2009 police raid — Dyana Bagby or uncertainty their children will carry because their parents can’t get married. They filed for a marriage license in Fulton County Probate Court on April 10 and were denied. n Jennifer Sisson, 34, of Decatur, whose wife, Pamela Drenner, 49, died after a long battle with ovarian cancer on March 1. The couple legally married in New York on Feb. 14, 2013. When Sisson went to make funeral arrangements in Georgia, she was told, under Georgia law, she could choose as Drenner’s marital status only “never married,” “widowed,” or “divorced.” The death certificate eventually read “never married,” causing tremendous pain to Sisson. n Beth Wurz, 41, and Krista Wurz, 39, of Brunswick, married in October 2010 in New Hampshire and have seven children, including five placed with them through foster care. Beth is an English professor and Krista is an Air Force veteran and special education teacher. Since Georgia doesn’t recognize their marriage, Krista and some of the children are denied health coverage through Beth’s job and they have been denied the ability to adopt their children jointly.

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Defeating anti-gay ‘religious freedom’ and more Georgia’s top LGBT stories for 2014

By PATRICK SAUNDERS It began with an anti-gay “religious freedom” bill and ended with an anti-gay rant by a fire chief, but 2014 had plenty more going on in between for Georgia’s LGBT community. Nine ordinary people stepped up to challenge the state’s same-sex marriage ban, a gay band director fought back, and a transgender teen broke a barrier. Viral videos saddened us and election results didn’t go our way, but you know what they say— there’s always next year.

‘RELIGIOUS FREEDOM’ BILLS FIRE UP THE COMMUNITY BEFORE FAILING TO PASS

A controversial pair of bills that many believed could be used to discriminate against the LGBT community was introduced in the Gold Dome. The so-called “religious freedom” bills were introduced early in the 2014 session by Republicans—state Sen. Josh McKoon and state Rep. Sam Teasley.

Opponents of the House bill packed a February subcommittee hearing and major Georgia-based corporations later publicly criticized such bills.

Both bills died; however, Sen. McKoon has vowed to reintroduce his bill in the 2015 session.

LAMBDA LEGAL FILES FEDERAL CLASS ACTION GAY MARRIAGE LAWSUIT IN GA

LGBT legal organization Lambda Legal filed a federal lawsuit in April on behalf of four same-sex couples and a widowed lesbian challenging Georgia’s 2004 same-sex marriage ban.

Georgia Attorney General Sam Olens filed a motion to dismiss the lawsuit in July.

Since then, both sides have filed briefs back and forth referencing decisions in other districts. However, the case is in a holding pattern as the court considers Olens’ motion to dismiss, and Judge William Duffey has put a stay on all other proceedings until he rules on the motion.

TRANSGENDER WOMEN ATTACKED ON MARTA

Two transgender women were attacked on a MARTA train in May by several men who were harassing them because of their gender identity. A cellphone video of the incident subsequently went viral.

Two suspects were later arrested by MARTA police for disorderly conduct. The incident led to a series of town hall meetings on violence against the transgender community and the relationship between police officers and the transgender community.

On Nov. 30, the Atlanta Police Department

Lesbian state Rep. Simone Bell gave a passionate speech at a February subcommittee opposing a proposed ‘religious freedom’ bill; the bill was eventually defeated. (Official photo) Gay teen Daniel Pierce is helping homeless LGBT youth after viral video shocked many. (File photo)

officially added a “transgender interactions” section to its Standard Operating Procedure.

Flint Dollar, a gay band director at a Catholic prep school in Macon, was fired in May due to his plans to marry his partner.

The uproar led to a Facebook page and Change.org petition, and three members of the school’s board of trustees resigned.

Dollar filed a claim with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission against the school, citing gender discrimination. The claim is pending. Dollar married his partner in July in Minnesota.

for Disease Control and Prevention. However, HIV/AIDS activists called a press conference the following month, saying the CDC had been “plodding” in its response to alarming infection numbers.

A September CDC report painted an even darker picture for HIV rates locally, saying that Georgia was lagging behind other states in linking people with HIV to care and retention in care, but ranking among the highest in death rates for those with AIDS. On a brighter note, Atlanta-area HIV/AIDS organizations Positive Impact and AID Atlanta both announced expansion of services, and both either moved to larger facilities or renovated existing ones.

GAY TEEN ATTACKED

BY FAMILY IN VIRAL VIDEO

TRANSGENDER EAST COBB TEEN ELECTED TO HOMECOMING COURT

GAY MACON BAND DIRECTOR FIRED FOR MARRYING HIS PARTNER

A YouTube video emerged in August in which Daniel Pierce, a gay Rome, Georgia, teenager, was attacked by his family during what he later called an “intervention” over his coming out.

The video went viral, racking up over seven million hits and generating worldwide media attention. Pierce’s boyfriend set up a crowd funding web account for him and people donated more than $90,000. Pierce asked people to donate to local LGBT homeless youth shelter Lost-N-Found Youth as well.

Pierce is now a board member for Lost-NFound Youth and was recently accepted into Kennesaw State University.

PREP, CLIMBING HIV INFECTION RATES

The HIV-prevention drug regimen PrEP started to generate a significant dialogue, and in May it was endorsed by the Centers

Transgender East Cobb teenager Sage Lovell inspired hope in October when she was elected to Walton High School’s homecoming court, making her the first transgender Georgian to do so.

Lovell’s coming out provided a potential blueprint for others in similar situations, as she had her parents’ support from the beginning, the school had a strong anti-bullying policy and gender-neutral restrooms, and friends and fellow students either supported her or the matter just didn’t concern them.

ELECTION YEAR CONTROVERSIES, LOSSES

Openly gay attorney Kyle Williams and former state representative Elena Parent engaged in a bitter campaign in the Democratic primary in May to replace state Sen. Jason Carter in District 42. Parent defeated Williams handily.

Democratic State Sen. Jason Carter and former Points of Light Foundation CEO Michelle Nunn took heat from LGBT voters during their bids to beat Republican Gov. Nathan Deal and businessman David Perdue, respectively, for Georgia governor and U.S. senator. Both lost on election night, as did Democratic attorney general candidate Greg Hecht, who had vowed to drop the state’s defense of the lawsuit challenging Georgia’s same-sex marriage ban if elected.

Christopher Deraney, Bob Gibeling, and Timothy Swiney all failed to become the first openly gay man elected to the Georgia General Assembly, while lesbian incumbents Rep. Simone Bell, Rep. Karla Drenner and Rep. Keisha Waites were unopposed and were re-elected.

Hecht and Carter did make history by vocally endorsing same-sex marriage; Nunn said she personally supports gay marriage and supports states’ rights on the issue.

ATLANTA FIRE CHIEF SUSPENDED AFTER ANTI-GAY RANT IN BOOK

Atlanta Fire Chief Kelvin Cochran was suspended for one month without pay by Atlanta Mayor Kasim Reed and ordered to take sensitivity training in November after anti-gay passages surfaced from a self-published book Cochran wrote.

In the book, “Who Told You That You Were Naked?” Cochran calls homosexuality “unclean” and compares it to pedophilia and bestiality in one passage, and calls same-sex relations “vile, vulgar and inappropriate” in another.

The results of a full investigation into the matter have not been released as of press time on Dec. 16.

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2014: The year of marriage Gay nuptials advance across the nation in wake of Windsor

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The U.S. Supreme Court issued an Orders List Oct. 6, the first day of its 2014-15 session, denying petitions from five states seeking to preserve bans on same-sex marriage. The refusal to take up the appeals meant that at least six justices did not feel the appeals merited consideration (it takes four justices to agree to hear an appeal before it can be taken up by the full court). And, given that the refusal to hear the appeals meant that same-sex couples could suddenly get married in a whole host of new states, it signaled that those six justices will almost certainly vote to overturn state bans on same-sex marriage once the court does take a case.

Just one month after the Supreme Court denied to hear the appeals, the Sixth Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals became the only federal appeals court to have upheld the constitutionality of such bans. In doing so, it prompted a new round of appeals, ones seeking to strike down the state bans, and ones the high court will now almost certainly review or reverse without argument. Meanwhile, by year’s end,

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By LISA KEEN The U.S. Supreme Court refused to hear appeals seeking to preserve bans on marriage for same-sex couples. President Obama finally signed a long-sought executive order protecting LGBT people who work for federal contractors. And an openly gay college football player kissed his boyfriend in front of a television camera after becoming the first openly gay player to be drafted by the NFL. Oh, yes, and the Republican Party won a majority in the U.S. Senate.

Those are likely to be the most remembered events for LGBT people for 2014—a year packed with many important events, both symbolic and significant, but a year that nonetheless played second fiddle to 2013.

Many of the LGBT headlines in 2014 centered on marriage because, in 2013, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the key provision of the federal Defense of Marriage Act was unconstitutional. This prompted court after court to echo that decision, in U.S. v. Windsor, while striking down state bans on such marriages around the country.

Polls indicated that public opinion about same-sex relationships improved more dramatically this year than on any other controversial issue, with 58 percent telling Gallup that “gay and lesbian relations” are “morally acceptable.”

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Passed marriage equality legislation as of end of 2013 Passed marriage equality legislation as of end of 2014 Pro-marriage court ruling; pending further action Anti-marriage federal appellate ruling, seeking SCOTUS review Marriage ban, lawsuit filed awaiting ruling

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Marriage equality legislation in the United States

President Barack Obama will deal with a Republican Congress in 2015, including Republican House Speaker John Boehner. Pope Francis made a few pro-LGBT headline-making statements in 2014. (Official White House photo, Creative Commons photo)

same-sex couples could obtain marriage licenses in 36 states (though appeals were still alive in eight of those states). By Jan. 5, couples can obtain marriage licenses in Florida, while that state’s appeal continues. By comparison, at the end of 2013, same-sex couples could marry in only 17 states.

President Obama signed an executive order in July prohibiting businesses that hold contracts with the federal government from discriminating against employees or potential employees based on sexual orientation or gender identity. The new executive order neither expanded nor removed a relatively narrow exemption put in place by President George W. Bush –an exemption that allowed “a religious corporation, association, educational institution, or society” to discriminate.

The U.S. Supreme Court allowed a closely held family company, Hobby Lobby, to deny certain health coverage for employees under the company’s health plan by say-

ing the owners have religious objections to providing the coverage. LGBT legal activists called the decision a “dangerous and radical departure from existing law,” saying it could provide a means for employers to discriminate against LGBT people by denying coverage for such things as reproductive insemination, gender reassignment treatments, or HIV prevention efforts.

The Vatican under Pope Francis continued to send out occasional pro-LGBT messages, following on his comment last year that it wasn’t his duty to judge a gay person who was seeking to follow Christ’s word. A Vatican document released in June called on the church to treat LGBT people with more respect, and four months later, another document produced by a Catholic leaders meeting in Rome noted that the support gay partners provide each other is worthy of respect. But the final report issued by the Extraordinary Synod of Bishops eliminated all such language, saying there was “no ground

whatsoever…for assimilating” gay relationships into the church.

Several African nations, including Uganda and Nigeria, passed archaic laws against the existence of gay people, making same-sex relationships and activities punishable by death. In February, a mob in Nigeria dragged 40 men it believed to be gay out of their beds and into the streets where they were beaten with wooden clubs. President Obama issued a statement saying Uganda’s law would “complicate” the relationship between Uganda and the U.S. But when the White House held a Summit on Africa in August, leaders of these countries were included.

The Winter Olympics, held in Russia, drew international attention to that country’s newly passed and harsh laws aimed at silencing LGBT people. The laws made it a crime to “promote LGBT equality in public.”

The U.S. conveyed its more positive message for LGBT people; President Obama named openly gay athletes as three out of his ten-member official delegation to the event, and he canceled a one-on-one meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin. Though the International Olympic Committee did little at the time but voice its principle of non-discrimination generally, on Dec. 8, it quietly passed an amendment to its Olympic Charter Principle 6, explicitly prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation.

Houston, the fourth largest city in the nation and the only one with an openly lesbian mayor, finally passed a long-sought human rights ordinance prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity. Mayor Annise Parker pushed for the measure and, when it passed, was threatened with a recall. But neither the recall nor a promised referendum on the measure ever made it to the ballot.

The Republicans won control of the U.S. Senate in November, giving the GOP control of both chambers of Congress and making the prospects for passage of any pro-LGBT legislation—including the Employment Non-Discrimination Act— virtually nil. But the truth is: ENDA and other pro-LGBT legislation had virtually no chance of passage while Democrats controlled the Senate, because Republican House Speaker John Boehner made clear, and made good, his promise not to give such legislation floor time. Meanwhile, a Human Rights Campaign survey this year found that 53 percent of LGBT people still hide their sexual orientation from almost everybody at work.

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OUTSPOKEN ’ ’ 2014 IN QUOTES

— Judge John E. Jones III, in a decision in the U.S. District Court for the Middle District of Pennsylvania, on May 20

“Ultimately, I think the Equal Protection Clause does guarantee same-sex marriage in all fifty states.”

— President Barack Obama (The New Yorker, Oct. 27)

— Lambda Legal in court filing in response to the state’s attempt to have its lawsuit seeking to overturn the state’s same-sex marriage ban dismissed, Sept. 5

“Make this man a saint now, OK?” — Elton John on Pope Francis at an AIDS benefit concert in New York (The Guardian, Oct. 29)

“With discernment we see not shadows lurking in closets or the stereotypes of what was once believed; rather, we see families committed to the common purpose of love, devotion, and service to the greater community.”

— Judge Michael McShane, in his ruling in the U.S. District Court for the District of Oregon, on May 19

“Idaho’s Marriage Laws withhold from them [the plaintiffs] a profound and personal choice, one that most can take for granted. By doing so, Idaho’s Marriage Laws deny same-sex couples the economic, practical, emotional, and spiritual benefits of marriage, relegating each couple to a stigmatized, second-class status. Plaintiffs suffer these injuries not because they are unqualified to marry, start a family, or grow old together, but because of who they are and whom they love.”

— Chief U.S. Magistrate Judge Candy Wagahoff Dale, in a ruling in the U.S. District Court for Idaho, on May 13

“So let me be clear: I’m proud to be gay, and I consider being gay among the greatest gifts God has given me.”

— Tim Cook, CEO of Apple, in an op-ed for BloombergBusinessweek, Oct. 30

Official photo

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“Our courts did not wait for the democratic process to undo racial segregation. Our courts did not abandon the equal rights of women to politicians or polls. Our courts intervened to eliminate state bans on inter-racial marriage. And the Supreme Court rejected the State’s argument for deference when invalidating DOMA in Windsor.”

Official photo

Official photo

“We are better people than what these laws represent, and it is time to discard them into the ash heap of history.”

“This is an effort to have government coerce, force speech and behavior. And it’s being pushed and advocated by the gay community. This is their ultimate goal. It’s to not allow for diversity of opinion on this issue, because they don’t want to be celebrated, they want to force everyone to not only agree with them but also have to finance their agenda.”

— Michele Bachmann, on radio talk show Faith & Liberty (Washington Post, July 25)

YEAR IN REVIEW

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Photo via Facebook

“Guess who was a huge sponsor of the Atlanta Gay Pride march and festival last month? They even put an ad in the ‘Pride Guide.’”

— Anti-gay group the American Family Association, on the Kellog’s ad “Wear Your Stripes with Pride” featuring Tony the Tiger (Facebook, Nov. 7)

— Piers Morgan, interviewing trans activist, journalist, author and educator Janet Mock to coincide with the publication of her book, “Redefining Realness,” (CNN’s “Piers Morgan Live,” Feb. 4)

“He’s trying to do infotainment. He doesn’t really want to talk about trans issues, he wants to sensationalize my life and not really talk about the work that I do and what the purpose of me writing this book was about.”

— Janet Mock, discussing Piers Morgan’s insensitive interview (Feb. 5, BuzzFeed)

Photo via Facebook

Photo via Facebook

“This is the amazing thing about you. Had I not known anything about your story, I would have absolutely not a clue that you had ever been a boy — a male. Which makes me absolutely believe you always should have been a woman.”

“I’m Michael Sam, I’m a football player, and I’m gay.”

— Michael Sam, All-American and SEC Defensive Player of the Year for the University of Missouri. He was drafted by the St. Louis Rams, was cut, then played for the Dallas Cowboys practice squad before being released. (New York Times, Feb. 9)

“I think everyone should be with who they love. I don’t want to be controversial or stir up a bunch of trouble but people are going to love who they are going to love. I think gay couples should be allowed to marry.

They should suffer just like us heterosexuals.

Ha ha ha!”

— Dolly Parton (Dailymail.co.uk, April 26)

We live in an uncertain world and we want to believe that what a man is and what a woman is– I know that. And people don’t want to critically interrogate the world around them. Whenever I’m afraid of something or I’m threatened by something, it’s because it brings up some sort of insecurity in me. I think the reality is that most of us are insecure about our gender. They think, ‘Okay, if there’s this trans person over here, then what does that make me?”

— Laverne Cox, who made history as the first trans person to be on Time’s cover (May 29)

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19

‘A different kind of conversation’ Atlanta activists seek to change the story of black gay men

By PATRICK SAUNDERS One recent Wednesday night at the Philip Rush Center, a group of black gay men gathered to have a discussion. It was following a screening of the late Marlon Riggs’ 1992 documentary “No Regret,” which featured first-person accounts from various black gay men living with HIV. The group listened politely as one of the members talked about the documentary and how, since he in his late 20s, the issue doesn’t hit home for him.

“I’m not HIV [positive] and I don’t know very many people who are,” he said. “I know one person.”

And with that statement, a lively dialogue kicked off, with most in the room challenging the notion that a black gay man of his age in Atlanta could know only one person living with HIV. It’s the exact kind of discussion that organizers Georgia Equality and the Counter Narrative Project hoped would occur, as the two organizations came together to present The Blueprint Dialogue, a three-part series that concluded with the “No Regret” screening and exceeded expectations.

To know how The Blueprint Dialogue came about, the origin of the Counter Narrative Project needs to be explained.

‘WE BELIEVE BLACK GAY MEN SHOULD BE THE AUTHORS OF OUR OWN STORIES’

A few years ago, activist Charles Stephens took part in a workshop with young black gay men and one of the participants talked about how as a little boy he liked doing cartwheels. One day his father “caught” him and beat him because he didn’t think little boys should do cartwheels.

“I was absolutely horrified but also very connected because that was a place a lot of us had come from,” Stephens says.

It was the beginning of a series of discussions over the proceeding years that led to Stephens creating the Counter Narrative Project in January of this year.

“The Counter Narrative Project is really about changing the story about black gay men,” he says. “We want to change the consciousness, we want to change awareness, and we believe that by changing the narrative, we can change the culture and therefore the policy.”

Stephens hopes to achieve these goals through three pieces of programming that

Charles Stephens (at right) led the recent Blueprint Dialogue, a project of the Counter Narrative Project and Georgia Equality, where black gay and bisexual men came together to share experiences. (Photos by Patrick Saunders)

DETAILS The Counter Narrative Project www.thecounternarrative.org

the group offers: rapid response messaging (through media engagement and issuing statements), community education (through webinars and workshops) and weekly strategy calls.

Stephens looks to honor the past in order to ensure the future of his subcommunity.

“There’s this amazing tradition of black gay men that used their voices really powerfully and spoke out against injustice.

That’s the legacy we want to build upon,” he says. “We believe black gay men should be the authors of our own stories and [the Counter Narrative Project will] provide a space to do that.”

‘I WANTED TO TRY TO SPARK A DIFFERENT KIND OF CONVERSATION’

Fittingly enough, The Blueprint Dialogue series started because of a conversation.

This talk was between Stephens and Georgia Equality Executive Director Jeff Graham, who both marveled at the amount of innovation that had occurred in the HIV realm over the last several years. Both also shared not only an affinity for the arts, but also a desire to use art as a tool to foster critical conversations and build communities.

Stephens says Graham invited him as a kind of “activist in residence” to bring those concepts together as they relate to black gay men. Through that collaboration, the Blueprint Dialogue series was born.

“Normally when HIV conversations happen, it’s around risk or statistics, and those

have merits but I wanted to try to spark a different kind of conversation,” Stephens says.

Graham immediately saw the need for such a conversation.

“I think so often we don’t give enough value to the lived experiences of what it means to be black and gay or bisexual or same gender loving here in Atlanta,” Graham says. “So really, the role of us at Georgia Equality is to be able to provide that space to allow those conversations to come about.”

The series included three weekly documentary screenings, all having to do with black gay and bisexual men’s HIV/AIDS activism.

Each screening drew 80 to 90 black gay men of various ages and backgrounds—a strong showing, as anyone who has organized or attended a gay weekday night event in Atlanta that isn’t a bingo or trivia night will attest.

While there are no immediate plans to put on another Blueprint Dialogue series, Stephens and Graham definitely found a need for such events, even in current times.

“There’s this assumption that because of social media that black gay men don’t want to be in each other’s presence, but even with all those innovations, the desire to be in each other’s company and proximity still exists,” Stephens says.

What is STRIBILD? STRIBILD is a prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in adults who have never taken HIV-1 medicines before. It combines 4 medicines into 1 pill to be taken once a day with food. STRIBILD is a complete single-tablet regimen and should not be used with other HIV-1 medicines.

STRIBILD does not cure HIV-1 infection or AIDS. To control HIV-1 infection and decrease HIV-related illnesses you must keep taking STRIBILD. Ask your healthcare provider if you have questions about how to reduce the risk of passing HIV-1 to others. Always practice safer sex and use condoms to lower the chance of sexual contact with body fluids.

Never reuse or share needles or other items that have body fluids on them.

IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION What is the most important information I should know about STRIBILD? STRIBILD can cause serious side effects: • Build-up of an acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is a serious medical emergency. Symptoms of lactic acidosis include feeling very weak or tired, unusual (not normal) muscle pain, trouble breathing, stomach pain with nausea or vomiting, feeling cold especially in your arms and legs, feeling dizzy or lightheaded, and/or a fast or irregular heartbeat.

• Serious liver problems. The liver may become large (hepatomegaly) and fatty (steatosis). Symptoms of liver problems include your skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow (jaundice), dark “tea-colored” urine, light-colored bowel movements (stools), loss of appetite for several days or longer, nausea, and/or stomach pain.

• You may be more likely to get lactic acidosis or serious liver problems if you are female, very overweight (obese), or have been taking STRIBILD for a long time. In some cases, these serious conditions have led to death. Call your healthcare provider right away if you have any symptoms of these conditions.

• Worsening of hepatitis B (HBV) infection. If you also have HBV and stop taking STRIBILD, your hepatitis may suddenly get worse. Do not stop taking STRIBILD without first talking to your healthcare provider, as they will need to monitor your health. STRIBILD is not approved for the treatment of HBV.

Who should not take STRIBILD? Do not take STRIBILD if you: • Take a medicine that contains: alfuzosin, dihydroergotamine, ergotamine, methylergonovine, cisapride, lovastatin, simvastatin, pimozide, sildenafil when used for lung problems (Revatio®), triazolam, oral midazolam, rifampin or the herb St. John’s wort.

• For a list of brand names for these medicines, please see the Brief Summary on the following pages.

• Take any other medicines to treat HIV-1 infection, or the medicine adefovir (Hepsera®).

What are the other possible side effects of STRIBILD? Serious side effects of STRIBILD may also include: • New or worse kidney problems, including kidney failure. Your healthcare provider should do regular blood and urine tests to check your kidneys before and during treatment with STRIBILD. If you develop kidney problems, your healthcare provider may tell you to stop taking STRIBILD. • Bone problems, including bone pain or bones getting soft or thin, which may lead to fractures. Your healthcare provider may do tests to check your bones.

• Changes in body fat can happen in people taking HIV-1 medicines.

• Changes in your immune system.

Your immune system may get stronger and begin to fight infections. Tell your healthcare provider if you have any new symptoms after you start taking STRIBILD. The most common side effects of STRIBILD include nausea and diarrhea.

Tell your healthcare provider if you have any side effects that bother you or don’t go away.

What should I tell my healthcare provider before taking STRIBILD? • All your health problems. Be sure to tell your healthcare provider if you have or had any kidney, bone, or liver problems, including hepatitis virus infection.

• All the medicines you take, including prescription and nonprescription medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements. STRIBILD may affect the way other medicines work, and other medicines may affect how STRIBILD works. Keep a list of all your medicines and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist. Do not start any new medicines while taking STRIBILD without first talking with your healthcare provider.

• If you take hormone-based birth control (pills, patches, rings, shots, etc).

• If you take antacids. Take antacids at least 2 hours before or after you take STRIBILD. • If you are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if STRIBILD can harm your unborn baby. Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant while taking STRIBILD. • If you are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed.

HIV-1 can be passed to the baby in breast milk. Also, some medicines in STRIBILD can pass into breast milk, and it is not known if this can harm the baby.

You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch, or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

Please see Brief Summary of full Prescribing Information with important warnings on the following pages.

STRIBILD is a prescription medicine used as a complete single-tablet regimen to treat HIV-1 in adults who have never taken HIV-1 medicines before. STRIBILD does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS.

I started my personal revolution Talk to your healthcare provider about starting treatment.

STRIBILD is a complete HIV-1 treatment in 1 pill, once a day.

Ask if it’s right for you.

Patient Information STRIBILD® (STRY-bild) (elvitegravir 150 mg/cobicistat 150 mg/emtricitabine 200 mg/ tenofovir disoproxil fumarate 300 mg) tablets Brief summary of full Prescribing Information. For more information, please see the full Prescribing Information, including Patient Information.

What is STRIBILD? • STRIBILD is a prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in adults who have never taken HIV-1 medicines before. STRIBILD is a complete regimen and should not be used with other HIV-1 medicines.

• STRIBILD does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS. You must stay on continuous HIV-1 therapy to control HIV-1 infection and decrease HIV-related illnesses.

• Ask your healthcare provider about how to prevent passing HIV-1 to others. Do not share or reuse needles, injection equipment, or personal items that can have blood or body fluids on them. Do not have sex without protection. Always practice safer sex by using a latex or polyurethane condom to lower the chance of sexual contact with semen, vaginal secretions, or blood.

What is the most important information I should know about STRIBILD? STRIBILD can cause serious side effects, including: 1. Build-up of lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis). Lactic acidosis can happen in some people who take STRIBILD or similar (nucleoside analogs) medicines. Lactic acidosis is a serious medical emergency that can lead to death. Lactic acidosis can be hard to identify early, because the symptoms could seem like symptoms of other health problems. Call your healthcare provider right away if you get any of the following symptoms which could be signs of lactic acidosis: • feel very weak or tired • have unusual (not normal) muscle pain • have trouble breathing • have stomach pain with nausea or vomiting • feel cold, especially in your arms and legs • feel dizzy or lightheaded • have a fast or irregular heartbeat 2. Severe liver problems. Severe liver problems can happen in people who take STRIBILD. In some cases, these liver problems can lead to death. Your liver may become large (hepatomegaly) and you may develop fat in your liver (steatosis). Call your healthcare provider right away if you get any of the following symptoms of liver problems: • your skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow (jaundice) • dark “tea-colored” urine • light-colored bowel movements (stools) • loss of appetite for several days or longer • nausea • stomach pain You may be more likely to get lactic acidosis or severe liver problems if you are female, very overweight (obese), or have been taking STRIBILD for a long time.

3. Worsening of Hepatitis B infection. If you have hepatitis B virus (HBV) infection and take STRIBILD, your HBV may get worse (flare-up) if you stop taking STRIBILD. A “flare-up” is when your HBV infection suddenly returns in a worse way than before.

• Do not run out of STRIBILD. Refill your prescription or talk to your healthcare provider before your STRIBILD is all gone

• Do not stop taking STRIBILD without first talking to your healthcare provider • If you stop taking STRIBILD, your healthcare provider will need to check your health often and do blood tests regularly for several months to check your HBV infection. Tell your healthcare provider about any new or unusual symptoms you may have after you stop taking STRIBILD Who should not take STRIBILD? Do not take STRIBILD if you also take a medicine that contains: • adefovir (Hepsera®) • alfuzosin hydrochloride (Uroxatral®) • cisapride (Propulsid®, Propulsid Quicksolv®) • ergot-containing medicines, including: dihydroergotamine mesylate (D.H.E. 45®, Migranal®), ergotamine tartrate (Cafergot®, Migergot®, Ergostat®, Medihaler Ergotamine®, Wigraine®, Wigrettes®), and methylergonovine maleate (Ergotrate®, Methergine®) • lovastatin (Advicor®, Altoprev®, Mevacor®) • oral midazolam • pimozide (Orap®) • rifampin (Rifadin®, Rifamate®, Rifater®, Rimactane®) • sildenafil (Revatio®), when used for treating lung problems • simvastatin (Simcor®, Vytorin®, Zocor®) • triazolam (Halcion®) • the herb St. John’s wort Do not take STRIBILD if you also take any other HIV-1 medicines, including: • Other medicines that contain tenofovir (Atripla®, Complera®, Viread®, Truvada®) • Other medicines that contain emtricitabine, lamivudine, or ritonavir (Atripla®, Combivir®, Complera®, Emtriva®, Epivir® or Epivir-HBV®, Epzicom®, Kaletra®, Norvir®, Trizivir®, Truvada®) STRIBILD is not for use in people who are less than 18 years old.

What are the possible side effects of STRIBILD? STRIBILD may cause the following serious side effects: • See “What is the most important information I should know about STRIBILD?” • New or worse kidney problems, including kidney failure. Your healthcare provider should do blood and urine tests to check your kidneys before you start and while you are taking STRIBILD. Your healthcare provider may tell you to stop taking STRIBILD if you develop new or worse kidney problems.

• Bone problems can happen in some people who take STRIBILD. Bone problems include bone pain, softening or thinning (which may lead to fractures). Your healthcare provider may need to do tests to check your bones.

• Changes in body fat can happen in people who take HIV-1 medicine.

These changes may include increased amount of fat in the upper back and neck (“buffalo hump”), breast, and around the middle of your body (trunk). Loss of fat from the legs, arms and face may also happen. The exact cause and long-term health effects of these conditions are not known.

• Changes in your immune system (Immune Reconstitution Syndrome) can happen when you start taking HIV-1 medicines. Your immune system may get stronger and begin to fight infections that have been hidden in your body for a long time. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you start having any new symptoms after starting your HIV-1 medicine.

The most common side effects of STRIBILD include: • Nausea • Diarrhea Tell your healthcare provider if you have any side effect that bothers you or that does not go away.

• These are not all the possible side effects of STRIBILD. For more information, ask your healthcare provider.

• Call your healthcare provider for medical advice about side effects.

You may report side effects to FDA at 1-800-FDA-1088.

What should I tell my healthcare provider before taking STRIBILD? Tell your healthcare provider about all your medical conditions, including: • If you have or had any kidney, bone, or liver problems, including hepatitis B infection • If you are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if STRIBILD can harm your unborn baby. Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant while taking STRIBILD. - There is a pregnancy registry for women who take antiviral medicines during pregnancy. The purpose of this registry is to collect information about the health of you and your baby. Talk with your healthcare provider about how you can take part in this registry.

• If you are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed if you take STRIBILD. - You should not breastfeed if you have HIV-1 because of the risk of passing HIV-1 to your baby.

- Two of the medicines in STRIBILD can pass to your baby in your breast milk. It is not known if the other medicines in STRIBILD can pass into your breast milk.

- Talk with your healthcare provider about the best way to feed your baby.

Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take, including prescription and nonprescription medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements: • STRIBILD may affect the way other medicines work, and other medicines may affect how STRIBILD works.

• Be sure to tell your healthcare provider if you take any of the following medicines: - Hormone-based birth control (pills, patches, rings, shots, etc) - Antacid medicines that contain aluminum, magnesium hydroxide, or calcium carbonate. Take antacids at least 2 hours before or after you take STRIBILD - Medicines to treat depression, organ transplant rejection, or high blood pressure - amiodarone (Cordarone®, Pacerone®) - atorvastatin (Lipitor®, Caduet®) - bepridil hydrochloride (Vascor®, Bepadin®) - bosentan (Tracleer®) - buspirone - carbamazepine (Carbatrol®, Epitol®, Equetro®, Tegretol®) - clarithromycin (Biaxin®, Prevpac®) - clonazepam (Klonopin®) - clorazepate (Gen-xene®, Tranxene®) - colchicine (Colcrys®) - medicines that contain dexamethasone - diazepam (Valium®)

- digoxin (Lanoxin®) - disopyramide (Norpace®) - estazolam - ethosuximide (Zarontin®) - flecainide (Tambocor®) - flurazepam - fluticasone (Flovent®, Flonase®, Flovent® Diskus®, Flovent® HFA, Veramyst®) - itraconazole (Sporanox®) - ketoconazole (Nizoral®) - lidocaine (Xylocaine®) - mexiletine - oxcarbazepine (Trileptal®) - perphenazine - phenobarbital (Luminal®) - phenytoin (Dilantin®, Phenytek®) - propafenone (Rythmol®) - quinidine (Neudexta®) - rifabutin (Mycobutin®) - rifapentine (Priftin®) - risperidone (Risperdal®, Risperdal Consta®) - salmeterol (Serevent®) or salmeterol when taken in combination with fluticasone (Advair Diskus®, Advair HFA®) - sildenafil (Viagra®), tadalafil (Cialis®) or vardenafil (Levitra®, Staxyn®), for the treatment of erectile dysfunction (ED). If you get dizzy or faint (low blood pressure), have vision changes or have an erection that last longer than 4 hours, call your healthcare provider or get medical help right away.

- tadalafil (Adcirca®), for the treatment of pulmonary arterial hypertension - telithromycin (Ketek®) - thioridazine - voriconazole (Vfend®) - warfarin (Coumadin®, Jantoven®) - zolpidem (Ambien®, Edlular®, Intermezzo®, Zolpimist®) Know the medicines you take. Keep a list of all your medicines and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist when you get a new medicine. Do not start any new medicines while you are taking STRIBILD without first talking with your healthcare provider.

Keep STRIBILD and all medicines out of reach of children.

This Brief Summary summarizes the most important information about STRIBILD. If you would like more information, talk with your healthcare provider. You can also ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist for information about STRIBILD that is written for health professionals, or call 1-800-445-3235 or go to www.STRIBILD.com.

Issued: October 2013

COMPLERA, EMTRIVA, GILEAD, the GILEAD Logo, GSI, HEPSERA, STRIBILD, the STRIBILD Logo, TRUVADA, and VIREAD are trademarks of Gilead Sciences, Inc., or its related companies. ATRIPLA is a trademark of Bristol-Myers Squibb & Gilead Sciences, LLC. All other marks referenced herein are the property of their respective owners. © 2014 Gilead Sciences, Inc. All rights reserved. STBC0111 10/14

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“Dancing With the Stars Live” features celebrities such as this season’s winner Alfonso Ribeiro and performers from the popular ABC TV series, 8 p.m., Cobb Energy Centre, www.cobbenergycentre.com

The honey will flow this New Year’s Eve at the Atlanta Eagle, with music by DJ Sean Mac and a special countdown at midnight, 9 p.m. – 3 a.m., www.atlantaeagle.com Photo via Facebook

Kara Johnson Photography

Ring in 2015!

Photo via Facebook

Party Like a Rock Star is a benefit for Joining Hearts. Hosted by Justin Longenbarch and Brennen Farlow with DJ Cindel, 10 p.m., Jungle, www.jungleatl.com

GA VOICE

Publicity photo

Photo via Facebook

Photo by Sam Henriques

Michelle Malone performs two New Year’s Eve shows at Eddie’s Attic tonight, first at 7 p.m. and then at 9:45 p.m. with special guest Hannah Thomas, www.eddiesattic.com

12.19.14

Where to party, celebrate and enjoy NYE in the gay ATL Whether you party like a rock star or party with the paparazzi, gay Atlanta has something to offer on New Year’s Eve. All of Atlanta’s fave gay bars will be open and pouring to bring in 2015 and; there is also live music and “Dancing with the Star Live!” if you prefer something other than a packed bar.

Photo via Twitter

My Sister’s Room brings in the New Year with DJ Rapko. A $10 cover includes a champagne toast and breakfast. Doors open at 8 p.m., www.mysistersroom.com

Photo via Facebook

Black Hollywood Paparazzi Party, a red carpet event hosted by Traxx Atlanta, with DJ Jay Marz on the ones and twos, 10 p.m., Club 708, www.traxxatlanta.com

Heretic Atlanta presents Genesis, the White Party, featuring DJ Kidd Madonny. Doors open at 9 p.m., www.hereticatlanta.com

File photo

Photo via Facebook

File photo

The Attack of the New Year’s Eve Party Monster is a beast of a night to ring in 2015 at Mary’s in East Atlanta, 9 p.m.-3 a.m., no cover and free champagne toast at midnight, www.facebook.com/mary.heylady

Swank NYE party and all are invited to ring in the new year with sexy performances, a midnight count down and champagne toast, a DJ and dancing, music videos, festive sound and lighting, a balloon drop, party favors, and more. No cover. Party starts at 10 p.m. at 10th & Piedmont, www.facebook.com/10thAndPiedmont

Renaye Diaz of reality TV’s “Sisterhood of Hip Hop” fame hosts the Traxx Girls New Year’s Eve Party.

The party is at Suede Lounge, 257 Trinity Ave. SW, Atlanta. Doors open at 10 p.m. Call 1-888-935-8729 for reservations, theredcarpetaffair.com

Serenbe Playhouse hosts “Judy,” a cabaret starring award-winning actress Natasha Drena as Judy Garland, 10:30 p.m., followed by a dance party, www.serenbeplayhouse.com

Xion’s New Year’s party cranks up at 3 a.m. to keep the party going well into 2015, with DJ Alex Cohen, www.xionatlanta.com

GA VOICE | 26

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

12.19.14

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THEATER BY JIM FARMER

‘A Christmas Memory’ an annual holiday tradition to remember Theatrical Outfit’s Tom Key performs one-man show each year During the holiday season, almost all local theaters present some sort of Yuletide offering. Tom Key, artistic director of Theatrical Outfit, has been performing Truman Capote’s “A Christmas Memory” as a oneman show for as long as he can remember.

Capote, the gay writer behind “In Cold Blood” and more, grew up in the South, and his autobiographical short story deals with a lonely young boy named Buddy and the friendship he has with his much older, eccentric cousin Sook. We caught up with Key recently to ask about the piece.

How long have you been performing this?

It’s a show that I find a way to do annually. Ever since graduate school at the University of Tennessee in Knoxville. The first time I ever did it, I volunteered to do something for the downtown YMCA. I thought it would be easy to find something to read for Christmas. And it was very difficult to find something that wasn’t grossly sentimental and yet at the same time inclusive and real about the nature of this time of year. When I came across this, I thought it was a powerful story and so moving and so funny. The characters were so rich. I tried it and the response was so strong. One way or another, I have wound up reading it every year since. I’ve done it here, the Alliance, around the country.

What makes this so special for you and audiences?

I think what makes this so special is the narration is so strong. If you boil it down to a plot, it’s questionable if that can sustain a film or musical or play. But the narration is just captivating. It’s tended to appeal to very young children who identify with Buddy, those 60 or older and everyone in between.

To me it’s a perfect story. I wanted to do it specifically in reader’s theater form because a lot of people are not necessarily familiar with it. I do believe the art of being read to is theater distilled to its essential elements— the text, the actor and the audience. That is really, that is all that is needed. It uses our imagination more than any other kind of theater. It’s an extreme workout for the imagination. This piece is very cathartic.

DETAILS ‘A Christmas Memory’

Theatrical Outfit The Balzer Theater at Herren’s 84 Luckie St. NW, Atlanta, GA 30303 Dec. 22 and 23 www.theatricaloutfit.org

How did you get permission to do it?

When I first applied for the rights to do it professionally, it was right after finishing “Cotton Patch Gospel” on Broadway.

Random House was the agency I had to go through to get the rights. There was a little handwritten note, a P.S. on the permission letter from them, in 1984, months before Capote passed away. It said Mr. Capote wanted you to know he is pleased to extend you the rights. That is thrilling.

I don’t have the letter I sent but I can remember saying I was also from Alabama and that I was touched by the story. I remember making it—long before I was in

the world of being an artistic director and applying for rights—and it was a very personal letter and I referred to “Cotton Patch Gospel” and said that kind of literature of the South was so meaningful to me.

Can you talk a little about Capote’s perception that he was an outsider, different from others, and how that shaped this piece?

It was an integral part of his very nature and his gift to the world. In (the sequel) “The Thanksgiving Visitor,” the very person who is bullying him, Mr. Sook, has the capacity to invite him to dinner. Capote had the capacity to ask him why he was so mean to him. He said “because you are different; I am trying to straighten you out.” Capote thought—“he was right. I was different.” There was nothing to do but accept and defend the fact. I think he meant not just his sexuality but his otherness. As a young boy to have the courage to accept who he is in his fullness - that is why he has made a lasting contribution with these stories and others.

Tom Key, artistic director for Theatrical Outfit, performs the one-man show ‘A Christmas Memory’ on Dec. 22 and 23.

(Courtesy photo)

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

The Gentlemen’s Ball honors black LGBT leaders Black gay LGBT activists and gentlemen were honored at the third annual Gentlemen’s Ball on Sunday, Dec. 7. Held at the Marriott Marquis in downtown Atlanta, hundreds gathered together to celebrate and also raise funds for the Gentlemen’s Foundation, a nonprofit formed earlier this year to raise awareness of black LGBT issues, support black gay students and establish a mentoring program titled “Impact,” which launches Jan. 15, 2015.

Named as the Gentlemen of the Year was Darnell L. Moore, a writer, activist, and educator, pictured above center. Along with former NFL player Wade Davis II, he recently co-founded YOU Belong, a social good company that launched the first ever LGBTQ youth summer camp in the U.S. pairing professional athletes with LGBTQ youth. Photos by Ryan Lee

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Eating my words BY CLIFF BOSTOCK

Lovely Ladybird Beltline eatery soaks up location “Ugliness is so grim, and a little beauty, something that is lovely…can help create harmony, which will lessen tensions.”

Lady Bird Johnson, wife of our 36th president, Lyndon Johnson (1963-69).

Lady Bird wasn’t talking about her inimitable teased-and-shellacked campy hairstyle. She was referring to the landscape.

She tried to purge the highways of billboards and litter. She was also behind expansion of public parks in American cities.

It’s no surprise, then, that her name should turn up in a new restaurant on Atlanta’s own beautification project, the Beltline.

Ladybird Grove and Mess Hall (684 John Wesley Dobbs Ave., ladybirdatlanta.com, 404-458-6838) is a nostalgic throwback. In its woody, rough way, it reminds me of oldstyle fish camps whose main decorative fea-

ture was the outdoor setting. Thus the best seating at Ladybird is on the patio. It was too cold to dine there when I visited with friends recently. But we did wait outside for an inside table and the staff offered us blankets, for real. We did not tell ghost stories or sing, “Where Have all the Flowers Gone?”

So what do owner Michael Lennox and Chef Kyle Schmidt offer to eat? The menu furthers the outdoorsy theme, divided into sections like “trail snacks,” “picnic basket,” “campfire,” and “base camp.” It gets a bit kitschy, campy, and saccharine, but the fare is actually an intriguing patchwork of this and that from here and there. This lack of campfire coherence has somewhat annoyed a few critics. I however always dig the random and unpredictable.

Unfortunately, most of the food I’ve sampled has been average. I was thrilled, for example, to see chicken and dumplings on the menu. It’s a favorite comfort dish, but the cast-iron skillet’s leg and thigh were stringy and the dumplings were tiny, like gnocchi, adrift in bland gravy.

Two at my table ordered the shellfish roast—shrimp, mussels, lamb sausage, smoky cabbage, potatoes, and grilled bread.

For a rich, tasty snack, try Ladybird’s Fluffernutter, a mashup of marshmallow crème, white bread, and hazelnut butter.

(Photo via Facebook)

Despite some undernourished mussels, they gave the dish a thumbs-up. In fact, the shrimp, served head-on, were cooked just right for eating without the fuss of removing the shell. If you don’t leave the shell intact on well-cooked shrimp now and then, you might be surprised how intensely doing so can ramp up flavor.

The Ladybird burger is spiked with ground bacon and coated with the American cheese your camp counselor loved. It’s certainly acceptable as burgers go, but I’d look for something more adventurous. Actually, if I had it to do over—and I do plan to go back—I’d order

the whole spatchcock chicken. It has received rave reviews from other critics, including Yelpers, and feeds as many as four for $38.

Grilled, crispy, and juicy, it includes a slew of Mex-style accompaniments: grilled onions, chiles, nopales, cilantro, grilled tortillas, salsa roja, salsa verde, patatas bravas and slaw.

Starters—“trail snacks”—didn’t really set our appetites completely on fire. Rice croquettes with sausage in a cranberry-mostarda glaze fell flat. A better choice was the “Navajo fry bread,” a sweet and slightly salty concoction of Benton’s country ham, honey, cilantro, and black pepper. Want a weirdly wonderful starter? Try the triple-level Fluffernutter “starter.” It’s a mash-up of marshmallow crème, white bread, and hazelnut butter, instead of the classic peanut butter.

It killed my desire for dessert, but I’ll likely be ordering the s’mores pie next visit.

The crowd at Ladybird on a Friday night was young and well lubricated—beautiful, harmonious, and relaxed, just like Lady Bird wanted life to be. And don’t forget that beauty is always loud. Really loud. Even if the food isn’t A-plus, the restaurant gets props for soaking up its location as few along the burgeoning Beltline have.

Cliff Bostock, PhD, is a longtime food critic and former therapist who now specializes in life coaching.

CliffBostock.com.

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Catching Up … with Deana Collins One-liners and a gay Atlanta history lesson with former Hoedown’s, 3-Legged Cowboy owner

By PATRICK SAUNDERS

D

eana Collins loves her “kids.” She also loves her children, sure, but when Collins says her “kids,” she means all the members of Atlanta’s LGBT community who pulled up a stool over the years at her various bars and clubs.

It started in the 1980s with Deana’s One Mo Time, then continued in the 1990s and 2000s with popular country bar Hoedowns and more recently 3-Legged Cowboy, which closed in 2011 but is still a theme night at the Heretic every Thursday.

So Collins has seen more than most members of the city’s gay community over the years and has lived to tell about it. Whether it’s avoiding arrest at drag shows, enduring the worst days of the AIDS crisis, succeeding in gay Atlanta nightlife or going through a recent bout of cancer, One thing’s for sure: You can’t keep a good hoe down.

So Deana, you moved here from Jacksonville via Oakland in the 1960s. What were those days like in Atlanta?

It was about 1961 and me and Billy Jones, we were the hoot, God rest his soul. There were so many of them old timers that were so wonderful. We were at the first [gay pride] march and they threw shit at us. There couldn’t have been 15 of us who had the balls to get out there. We marched to the Capitol.

And back in the old days if you were a man that got caught in women’s clothes, they arrested them. When we did drag shows, we would take turns holding a flashlight outside the bar and we’d flash the lights back at the bar to let them know if cops were coming. Diamond Lil would remember all of that, she’s still crazy as hell and I love her.

The gay guys, I was more close to them.

What do they call them, fag hags? I didn’t care what they called me, I just had a good time.

How did you get into the nightclub business?

Well, I used to help this girl out over at the Sports Page. Then from there...well, I had a benefactor and I don’t even know if I should use their name because they’re CocaCola heirs. The woman handed me a $100,000 check and said, “Deana, you can go build your dream or take off with this money.” And I said, “I’m going to build my dream,” and so I

Hoedowns owner Deana Collins with one of her many “kids.” (Photo courtesy Deana Collins)

I’d go in there and jack everybody up. Everybody, the staff and some of the patients, had Hoedowns T-shirts on saying “You can’t keep a good hoe down.” They’ll remember that for a long time [laughs]. —Deana Collins opened up Deana’s One Mo Time. Of course it was set up to pay back through her attorney.

When did Deana’s One Mo Time open?

1986 I think. Right on Cheshire Bridge, it was right next door to that strip club that’s on the corner now [Onyx].

Right in the middle of the AIDS crisis.

It was the most devastating thing. And boy our community came together. They were champions. People tried to blame us for the AIDS. I was a resident manager over at Peachtree Hills Apartments and had rented all the apartments to gay guys, then all of a sudden comes this flier saying not to rent to gay people because they have AIDS. So the manager fired me for renting to all these gay guys.

I’ll tell you one damn thing, those women were champions when their brothers came down with AIDS. These gals they came with TVs, they came with money, they came with everything they could to help.

Then you moved from Deana’s One Mo Time to Hoedowns on Monroe in the 1990s.

I’m the originator of Hoedowns and the thing of it is that the people that went in there [gay businessman Ben Elliott, who later became a majority shareholder and is currently in prison for wire fraud and money laundering], they didn’t honor what they said they would do, which was keep it country

and not change anything. They tore a lot of stuff out of there. It was making money but you know how people get. Too many partners sometimes is not a good thing, honey.

How did you come up with the name 3-Legged Cowboy?

I just love John Wayne. I still have an 8-foot tall statue of him at my house. John Wayne was in this one movie and he’d come walking up with a cane and he was laughing and says, “Well I guess you could call me a three-legged cowboy now.” Well, I didn’t think of that meaning someone’s penis.

That thought didn’t occur to me but it did for all of the kids [laughs]. Oh jeez.

What do you remember best about those times?

Billy Jones was my favorite. He’s infamous, believe me. He was always in drag, doing Shirley Temple shit or something like that. You would have loved it, he made you laugh. Every year I’d put him in the Pride parade in a limousine.

The one thing I really miss is our Christmas tree. I would spend Christmas Eve down with the kids and some of them wouldn’t have a place to go. I’d always have presents for them. It was my thing, it was fun.

You’ve had some health troubles recently.

I went through 28 rounds of radiation.

[The cancer] was in my nose of all places.

Emory was very good to me. It was 2012 and I had to go every single day—it was a nightmare. But hey, I woke up and there weren’t no dirt on my face!

I’d go in there and jack everybody up. Everybody, the staff and some of the patients, had Hoedowns T-shirts on saying “You can’t keep a good hoe down.” They’ll remember that for a long time [laughs].

How are you doing healthwise these days?

Well I’m supposed to be okay. And hey, I don’t think about it. I just kind of let it go and put it in God’s hands. Just like I had to do the bar, I had to put it in God’s hands.

But I hated to leave the kids, that was the worst thing. I think that had to be even worse than the cancer. I’m sure there’s some that didn’t like me but that didn’t matter, I loved them.

What’s the biggest difference with the LGBT community now and in those days?

Ahh they’re too damn cocky today. They need to get off them damn phones with that texting and crazy shit.

[Laughs] Not a big fan of texting?

Uh! I hate it! I hate cellphones, I hate the computers. We need that physical contact, we need to look in each other’s eyes before we make out [laughs]. You ain’t conning me.

COMPLERA is a prescription medicine for adults who have never taken HIV-1 medicines before and who have no more than 100,000 copies/mL of virus in their blood.

COMPLERA can also replace current HIV-1 medicines for some adults who have an undetectable viral load (less than 50 copies/mL) and whose healthcare provider determines that they meet certain other requirements.

COMPLERA combines 3 medicines into 1 pill to be taken once a day with food. COMPLERA should not be used with other HIV-1 medicines.

Just the

one

for me

COMPLERA is a complete HIV-1 treatment in only 1 pill a day.

Ask your healthcare provider if COMPLERA may be the one for you.

Pill shown is not actual size.

COMPLERA does not cure HIV-1 infection or AIDS.

To control HIV-1 infection and decrease HIV-related illnesses you must keep taking COMPLERA. Ask your healthcare provider if you have questions about how to reduce the risk of passing HIV-1 to others. Always practice safer sex and use condoms to lower the chance of sexual contact with body fluids.

Never reuse or share needles or other items that have body fluids on them.

It is not known if COMPLERA is safe and effective in children under 18 years old.

IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION What is the most important information I should know about COMPLERA?

COMPLERA can cause serious side effects: • Build-up of an acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is a serious medical emergency. Symptoms of lactic acidosis include feeling very weak or tired, unusual (not normal) muscle pain, trouble breathing, stomach pain with nausea or vomiting, feeling cold especially in your arms and legs, feeling dizzy or lightheaded, and/or a fast or irregular heartbeat.

• Serious liver problems. The liver may become large (hepatomegaly) and fatty (steatosis). Symptoms of liver problems include your skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow (jaundice), dark “tea-colored” urine, light-colored bowel movements (stools), loss of appetite for several days or longer, nausea, and/or stomach pain.

• You may be more likely to get lactic acidosis or serious liver problems if you are female, very overweight (obese), or have been taking COMPLERA for a long time. In some cases, these serious conditions have led to death. Call your healthcare provider right away if you have any symptoms of these conditions.

• Worsening of hepatitis B (HBV) infection. If you also have HBV and stop taking COMPLERA, your hepatitis may suddenly get worse. Do not stop taking COMPLERA without first talking to your healthcare provider, as they will need to monitor your health. COMPLERA is not approved for the treatment of HBV.

Who should not take COMPLERA?

Do not take COMPLERA if you: • Take a medicine that contains: adefovir (Hepsera), lamivudine (Epivir-HBV), carbamazepine (Carbatrol, Equetro, Tegretol, Tegretol-XR, Teril, Epitol), oxcarbazepine (Trileptal), phenobarbital (Luminal), phenytoin (Dilantin, Dilantin-125, Phenytek), rifampin (Rifater, Rifamate, Rimactane, Rifadin), rifapentine (Priftin), dexlansoprazole (Dexilant), esomeprazole (Nexium, Vimovo), lansoprazole (Prevacid), omeprazole (Prilosec, Zegerid), pantoprazole sodium (Protonix), rabeprazole (Aciphex), more than 1 dose of the steroid medicine dexamethasone or dexamethasone sodium phosphate, or the herbal supplement St. John’s wort.

• Take any other medicines to treat HIV-1 infection, unless recommended by your healthcare provider.

What are the other possible side effects of COMPLERA?

Serious side effects of COMPLERA may also include: • New or worse kidney problems, including kidney failure. Your healthcare provider should do blood tests to check your kidneys before starting treatment with COMPLERA. If you have had kidney problems, or take other medicines that may cause kidney problems, your healthcare provider may also check your kidneys during treatment with COMPLERA. • Depression or mood changes. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you have any of the following symptoms: feeling sad or hopeless, feeling anxious or restless, have thoughts of hurting yourself (suicide) or have tried to hurt yourself.

Changes in liver enzymes: People who have had hepatitis B or C, or who have had changes in their liver function tests in the past may have an increased risk for liver problems while taking COMPLERA. Some people without prior liver disease may also be at risk. Your healthcare provider may do tests to check your liver enzymes before and during treatment with COMPLERA. • Bone problems, including bone pain or bones getting soft or thin, which may lead to fractures. Your healthcare provider may do tests to check your bones.

• Changes in body fat can happen in people taking HIV-1 medicines.

• Changes in your immune system. Your immune system may get stronger and begin to fight infections. Tell your healthcare provider if you have any new symptoms after you start taking COMPLERA. •

The most common side effects of COMPLERA include trouble sleeping (insomnia), abnormal dreams, headache, dizziness, diarrhea, nausea, rash, tiredness, and depression. Other common side effects include vomiting, stomach pain or discomfort, skin discoloration (small spots or freckles), and pain. Tell your healthcare provider if you have any side effects that bother you or do not go away.

What should I tell my healthcare provider before taking COMPLERA? All your health problems. Be sure to tell your healthcare provider if you have or had any kidney, mental health, bone, or liver problems, including hepatitis virus infection.

• All the medicines you take, including prescription and nonprescription medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements. COMPLERA may affect the way other medicines work, and other medicines may affect how COMPLERA works.

Keep a list of all your medicines and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist. Do not start any new medicines while taking COMPLERA without first talking with your healthcare provider.

• If you take rifabutin (Mycobutin). Talk to your healthcare provider about the right amount of rilpivirine (Edurant) you should take.

• If you take antacids. Take antacids at least 2 hours before or at least 4 hours after you take COMPLERA. • If you take stomach acid blockers. Take acid blockers at least 12 hours before or at least 4 hours after you take COMPLERA. Ask your healthcare provider if your acid blocker is okay to take, as some acid blockers should never be taken with COMPLERA. • If you are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if COMPLERA can harm your unborn baby. Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant while taking COMPLERA. • If you are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed. HIV-1 can be passed to the baby in breast milk. Also, some medicines in COMPLERA can pass into breast milk, and it is not known if this can harm the baby.

•

You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch, or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

Please see Brief Summary of full Prescribing Information with important warnings on the following pages.

Brief Summary of full Prescribing Information COMPLERA® (kom-PLEH-rah) (emtricitabine 200 mg, rilpivirine 25 mg, tenofovir disoproxil fumarate 300 mg) tablets Brief summary of full Prescribing Information. For more information, please see the full Prescribing Information, including Patient Information.

What is COMPLERA? • COMPLERA is a prescription medicine used as a complete HIV-1 treatment in one pill a day. COMPLERA is for adults who have never taken HIV-1 medicines before and who have no more than 100,000 copies/mL of virus in their blood (this is called ‘viral load’). Complera can also replace current HIV-1 medicines for some adults who have an undetectable viral load (less than 50 copies/mL) and whose healthcare provider determines that they meet certain other requirements.

• COMPLERA is a complete regimen and should not be used with other HIV-1 medicines.

HIV-1 is the virus that causes AIDS. When used properly, COMPLERA may reduce the amount of HIV-1 virus in your blood and increase the amount of CD4 T-cells, which may help improve your immune system. This may reduce your risk of death or getting infections that can happen when your immune system is weak.

• COMPLERA does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS. You must stay on continuous HIV-1 therapy to control HIV-1 infection and decrease HIV-related illnesses.

• Ask your healthcare provider about how to prevent passing HIV-1 to others.

Do not share or reuse needles, injection equipment, or personal items that can have blood or body fluids on them. Do not have sex without protection. Always practice safer sex by using a latex or polyurethane condom to lower the chance of sexual contact with semen, vaginal secretions, or blood.

What is the most important information I should know about COMPLERA? COMPLERA can cause serious side effects, including: • Build-up of an acid in your blood (lactic acidosis). Lactic acidosis can happen in some people who take COMPLERA or similar (nucleoside analogs) medicines. Lactic acidosis is a serious medical emergency that can lead to death. Lactic acidosis can be hard to identify early, because the symptoms could seem like symptoms of other health problems. Call your healthcare provider right away if you get any of the following symptoms which could be signs of lactic acidosis: – feel very weak or tired – have unusual (not normal) muscle pain – have trouble breathing – having stomach pain with nausea or vomiting – feel cold, especially in your arms and legs – feel dizzy or lightheaded – have a fast or irregular heartbeat • Severe liver problems. Severe liver problems can happen in people who take COMPLERA. In some cases, these liver problems can lead to death. Your liver may become large (hepatomegaly) and you may develop fat in your liver (steatosis). Call your healthcare provider right away if you get any of the following symptoms of liver problems: – your skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow (jaundice) – dark “tea-colored” urine – light-colored bowel movements (stools) – loss of appetite for several days or longer – nausea – stomach pain • You may be more likely to get lactic acidosis or severe liver problems if you are female, very overweight (obese), or have been taking COMPLERA for a long time.

• Worsening of Hepatitis B infection. If you have hepatitis B virus (HBV) infection and take COMPLERA, your HBV may get worse (flare-up) if you stop taking COMPLERA. A “flare-up” is when your HBV infection suddenly returns in a worse way than before.

COMPLERA is not approved for the treatment of HBV, so you must discuss your HBV with your healthcare provider.

– Do not run out of COMPLERA. Refill your prescription or talk to your healthcare provider before your COMPLERA is all gone.

– Do not stop taking COMPLERA without first talking to your healthcare provider.

– If you stop taking COMPLERA, your healthcare provider will need to check your health often and do blood tests regularly to check your HBV infection. Tell your healthcare provider about any new or unusual symptoms you may have after you stop taking COMPLERA. Who should not take COMPLERA? Do not take COMPLERA if you also take any of the following medicines: • Medicines used for seizures: carbamazepine (Carbatrol, Equetro, Tegretol, Tegretol-XR, Teril, Epitol); oxcarbazepine (Trileptal); phenobarbital (Luminal); phenytoin (Dilantin, Dilantin-125, Phenytek) • Medicines used for tuberculosis: rifampin (Rifater, Rifamate, Rimactane, Rifadin); rifapentine (Priftin) • Certain medicines used to block stomach acid called proton pump inhibitors (PPIs): dexlansoprazole (Dexilant); esomeprazole (Nexium, Vimovo); lansoprazole (Prevacid); omeprazole (Prilosec, Zegerid); pantoprazole sodium (Protonix); rabeprazole (Aciphex) • Certain steroid medicines: More than 1 dose of dexamethasone or dexamethasone sodium phosphate • Certain herbal supplements: St. John’s wort • Certain hepatitis medicines: adefovir (Hepsera), lamivudine (Epivir-HBV) Do not take COMPLERA if you also take any other HIV-1 medicines, including: • Other medicines that contain tenofovir (ATRIPLA, STRIBILD, TRUVADA, VIREAD) • Other medicines that contain emtricitabine or lamivudine (ATRIPLA, Combivir, EMTRIVA, Epivir, Epzicom, STRIBILD, Trizivir, TRUVADA) • rilpivirine (Edurant), unless you are taking rifabutin (Mycobutin) COMPLERA is not for use in people who are less than 18 years old.

What are the possible side effects of COMPLERA? COMPLERA may cause the following serious side effects: • See “What is the most important information I should know about COMPLERA?” • New or worse kidney problems, including kidney failure. Your healthcare provider should do blood and urine tests to check your kidneys before you start and while you are taking COMPLERA. If you have had kidney problems in the past or need to take another medicine that can cause kidney problems, your healthcare provider may need to do blood tests to check your kidneys during your treatment with COMPLERA. • Depression or mood changes. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you have any of the following symptoms: – feeling sad or hopeless – feeling anxious or restless – have thoughts of hurting yourself (suicide) or have tried to hurt yourself • Change in liver enzymes. People with a history of hepatitis B or C virus infection or who have certain liver enzyme changes may have an increased risk of developing new or worsening liver problems during treatment with COMPLERA. Liver problems can also happen during treatment with COMPLERA in people without a history of liver disease. Your healthcare provider may need to do tests to check your liver enzymes before and during treatment with COMPLERA.

• Bone problems can happen in some people who take COMPLERA. Bone problems include bone pain, softening or thinning (which may lead to fractures). Your healthcare provider may need to do tests to check your bones.

• Changes in body fat can happen in people taking HIV-1 medicine. These changes may include increased amount of fat in the upper back and neck (“buffalo hump”), breast, and around the main part of your body (trunk). Loss of fat from the legs, arms and face may also happen. The cause and long term health effect of these conditions are not known.

• Changes in your immune system (Immune Reconstitution Syndrome) can happen when you start taking HIV-1 medicines. Your immune system may get stronger and begin to fight infections that have been hidden in your body for a long time. Tell your healthcare provider if you start having any new symptoms after starting your HIV-1 medicine.

The most common side effects of COMPLERA include: • Trouble sleeping (insomnia), abnormal dreams, headache, dizziness, diarrhea, nausea, rash, tiredness, depression Additional common side effects include: • Vomiting, stomach pain or discomfort, skin discoloration (small spots or freckles), pain Tell your healthcare provider if you have any side effect that bothers you or that does not go away.

• These are not all the possible side effects of COMPLERA. For more information, ask your healthcare provider.

• Call your healthcare provider for medical advice about side effects. You may report side effects to FDA at 1-800-FDA-1088.

What should I tell my healthcare provider before taking COMPLERA? Tell your healthcare provider about all your medical conditions, including: • If you have or had any kidney, mental health, bone, or liver problems, including hepatitis B or C infection.

• If you are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if COMPLERA can harm your unborn child.

– There is a pregnancy registry for women who take antiviral medicines during pregnancy. The purpose of this registry is to collect information about the health of you and your baby. Talk to your healthcare provider about how you can take part in this registry.

• If you are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed if you take COMPLERA. – You should not breastfeed if you have HIV-1 because of the risk of passing HIV-1 to your baby.

– Two of the medicines in COMPLERA can pass to your baby in your breast milk.

It is not known if this could harm your baby.

– Talk to your healthcare provider about the best way to feed your baby.

Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take, including prescription and nonprescription medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements: • COMPLERA may affect the way other medicines work, and other medicines may affect how COMPLERA works.

• If you take certain medicines with COMPLERA, the amount of COMPLERA in your body may be too low and it may not work to help control your HIV-1 infection.

The HIV-1 virus in your body may become resistant to COMPLERA or other HIV-1 medicines that are like it.

• Be sure to tell your healthcare provider if you take any of the following medicines: – Rifabutin (Mycobutin), a medicine to treat some bacterial infections. Talk to

your healthcare provider about the right amount of rilpivirine (Edurant) you should take.

– Antacid medicines that contain aluminum, magnesium hydroxide, or calcium carbonate. Take antacids at least 2 hours before or at least 4 hours after you take COMPLERA. – Certain medicines to block the acid in your stomach, including cimetidine (Tagamet), famotidine (Pepcid), nizatidine (Axid), or ranitidine hydrochloride (Zantac). Take the acid blocker at least 12 hours before or at least 4 hours after you take COMPLERA. Some acid blocking medicines should never be taken with COMPLERA (see “Who should not take COMPLERA?” for a list of these medicines).

– Medicines that can affect how your kidneys work, including acyclovir (Zovirax), cidofovir (Vistide), ganciclovir (Cytovene IV, Vitrasert), valacyclovir (Valtrex), and valganciclovir (Valcyte).

– clarithromycin (Biaxin) – erythromycin (E-Mycin, Eryc, Ery-Tab, PCE, Pediazole, Ilosone) – fluconazole (Diflucan) – itraconazole (Sporanox) – ketoconazole (Nizoral) – methadone (Dolophine) – posaconazole (Noxafil) – telithromycin (Ketek) – voriconazole (Vfend) Know the medicines you take. Keep a list of all your medicines and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist when you get a new medicine. Do not start any new medicines while you are taking COMPLERA without first talking with your healthcare provider.

How should I take COMPLERA? • Stay under the care of your healthcare provider during treatment with COMPLERA. • Take COMPLERA exactly as your healthcare provider tells you to take it.

• Always take COMPLERA with food. Taking COMPLERA with food is important to help get the right amount of medicine in your body. A protein drink is not a substitute for food. If your healthcare provider decides to stop COMPLERA and you are switched to new medicines to treat HIV-1 that includes rilpivirine tablets, the rilpivirine tablets should be taken only with a meal.

Keep COMPLERA and all medicines out of reach of children.

This Brief Summary summarizes the most important information about COMPLERA. If you would like more information, talk with your healthcare provider. You can also ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist for information about COMPLERA that is written for health professionals, or call 1-800-445-3235 or go to www.COMPLERA.com.

Issued: September 2014

COMPLERA, the COMPLERA Logo, EMTRIVA, GILEAD, the GILEAD Logo, GSI, HEPSERA, STRIBILD, TRUVADA, VIREAD, and VISTIDE are trademarks of Gilead Sciences, Inc., or its related companies. ATRIPLA is a trademark of Bristol-Myers Squibb & Gilead Sciences, LLC. All other marks referenced herein are the property of their respective owners. ©2014 Gilead Sciences, Inc. All rights reserved. CPAC0131 10/14

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SATURDAY, DEC. 20 The Gear party with DJ Joe Gauthreaux revs up at 10 p.m. at the Heretic, hereticatlanta.com (Photo by Eli Hue)

SATURDAY, DEC. 20

Meak Productions, Inc., in partnership with Dynamite Production, presents a special LGBT night reception and showing of the holiday musical play, Stepp Stewart’s “A Soulful Christmas.” Doors open at 6 p.m., with a reception at 6:30 p.m. The play starts at 8 p.m. with a Q & A with the cast at 9:45 p.m., Porter Sanford III Performing Arts & Community Center, www.asoulfulchristmas.com (Publicity photo)

SUNDAY, DEC. 28 It’s technically Monday as DJ Corey David spins into the early morning hours beginning at 3 a.m. at Xion, www.cariocaproductions.com

SOMETHING GAY EVERY DAY!

Bookmark www.thegavoice.com to get your daily dose of local LGBT events.

FRIDAY, DEC. 19 AND SATURDAY, DEC. 20

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 31 Michelle Malone performs two New Year’s Eve shows at Eddie’s Attic tonight, first at 7 p.m. and then at 9:45 p.m. with special guest Hannah Thomas, www.eddiesattic.com (Photo by MorellPhoto.com)

Libby Whittemore brings her patented good cheer and music sensibility to “Libbys at the Express,” with a special appearance by her alter ego Connie Sue Day – the 31st Lady of Country Music – Friday and Saturday night at 7:30 p.m., Actor’s Express, www.actorsexpress.com Get into the spirit of the season as the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra presents “A Very Merry Holiday POPS” at 8 p.m. on Dec. 19 and Dec. 20 at 2 p.m. and 8 p.m., www.atlantasymphony.org

FRIDAY, DEC. 19

The Third Friday Film Series presents the film “To Prison for Poverty,” directed by Brittany Washington, co-sponsored by Brave New Films and the Social Justice Guild. This short film about how private companies are charging exorbitant fees to poor people who can’t pay their traffic fines, and threatening them with jail if they do not pay, tells the story of two women: Hali Wood, a seventeenyear-old from Columbiana, Alabama, deeply in debt to private probation company, and Kathleen Hucks, a woman suing Sentinel Corrections Services for their abuse of power. Doors open at

7 p.m. and the film starts at 7:30 pm sharp. Popcorn and refreshments are available. Donations are accepted - $1 to $10 sliding scale, but no one is turned away. A discussion after the film will be led by Laurie Jones, Brave New Films Education Outreach Coordinator, First Existential Congregation, www.firstexistentialist.org Serenbe Playhouse’s world premiere “The Snow Queen,” directed by out Brian Clowdus and based on the classic Hans Christian Andersen fairy tale, is running through Dec. 21 with an 8 o’clock performance tonight, www.serenbeplayhouse.com

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PUMP Friday with DJ Sean Mac with no cover before 11 p.m. and $5 after 11 p.m., Heretic, www.hereticatlanta.com

Traxx Girls night at My Sister’s Room offers drink specials, great music and lots of beautiful women, 10 p.m., www.mysistersroom.com PUMP Friday presents the Union Suit Edition with DJ Seth Breezy, no cover before 11 p.m., $5 after, Heretic, www.hereticatlanta.com

Twisted Toyland Fetish Market gives you time for your last minute Christmas shopping, from noon to 6 p.m., Jungle, www.jungleatl.com

SATURDAY, DEC. 27

“Let’s Make a Deal,” hosted by Ken, is a favorite at Friends on Ponce, 6 – 10 p.m., www.friendsonponce-atl.com

The 10th annual Dirty Southern Burners /BWBGA (Burners Without Borders) SantaCon is tonight.

Organizers will be hosting a Can Food Drive for Lost & Found Youth, located by the Vortex in the parking lot, and Cameli’s Pizza will be hosting a canned food drive for pets for Animal Savers Rescue. They will also be collecting donations from local bars—these bars that donate will have “WELCOME SANTA SIGNS” on their doors/windows. This year’s supported charities are Lost-n-Found Youth and BWBGA, 7 p.m., Little Five Points/Vortex parking lot, 438 Moreland Avenue, Atlanta, GA 30307

The Ugly Sweater Christmas Party lets patrons pull out that horrible holiday sweater or make one and come out to Oscars Atlanta for a fun night of laughing, drinking and singing Christmas music.

Prizes are awarded for the top three ugliest sweaters. Christmas Karaoke will also take place with Paul Ventresca and Dustin Forehand, 10 p.m. 2 a.m., www.oscarsatlanta.com The Hardcore Holiday/Twisted Toyland Party with DJ Karlitos is tonight at Jungle, www.jungleatl.com

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Edie Cheezburger, Jaye Lish and cast bring “The Other Show” drag event weekly to Jungle, 9 p.m., www.jungleatl.com

Join Charis Books for their annual holiday party and sale, with hardback books 20 percent off all day and everything else in the store 10 percent off. Holiday treats will be available to get you in a festive mood plus free gift-wrapping for all of your Charis purchases, 11 a.m. – 7 p.m., www.charisbooksandmore.com

Julie Osborne’s Comedy Show gets cranking at 9 p.m. followed by a holiday party at 11 p.m. with Brent Star and DJ Liz Owen, My Sister’s Room, www.mysistersroom.com

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FRIDAY, DEC. 26

SATURDAY, DEC. 20

Come out for one last time before having to spend your day traveling or with family, as the Atlanta Eagle hosts “Size Does Matter!” Bring a child’s toy to benefit children in need this holiday season for a free well drink or domestic beer and hang out with some good looking men. The Atlanta Bucks Rugby Football Club will be helping tend bar and selling your fave shooters.

Also, The Atlanta Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence will be taking donations for Lost-N-Found youth! 8 p.m. – 3 a.m., www.atlantaeagle.com

GA VOICE

Gay director Rob Marshall directs a film adaptation of gay composer Stephen Sondheim’s musical “Into the Woods,” starring Meryl Streep, Anna Kendrick and Emily Blunt, opening today in metro area theaters.

It’s a Mary XXX-Mess with DJ Five Hour Boner and guests and a chance to have your photo snapped with Dirty St. Nick, 9 p.m., Mary’s, www.facebook.com/mary.heylady

Atlanta Freedom Bands presents “Holiday Tales and Traditions” celebrating the wonderful stories and music of the season. The special guest will be Chris Chandler, afternoon news anchor for WSB Radio. 8 p.m., North Decatur Presbyterian Church, 611 Medlock Road, Decatur, GA 30033, atlantafreedombands.com

12.19.14

It’s early country night with line dancing and free lessons from 8 p.m. – 12:30 a.m., then DJ Stan Jackson takes over with dance music, Heretic Atlanta, www.hereticatlanta.com Glitter Bomb is 75 minutes of high energy illusion, hosted by Genre, 11 p.m., Blake’s, www.blakesontheparkatlanta.com

SUNDAY, DEC. 28

SATURDAY, DEC. 27

Lindsey Hinkle brings her folk/acoustic sounds to My Sister’s Room, 9 p.m., with DJ Tina afterwards, www.mysistersroom.com (Photo via Facebook)

Bring out your best headwear as BJ Roosters hosts its first ever Ho! Ho! Holiday Hat Party, 1 a.m., 2043 Cheshire Bridge Road, Atlanta, GA 30324

SUNDAY, DEC. 21

TUESDAY, DEC. 23

Fourth Tuesday dinner and cocktails starts at 6 p.m. at Campagnolo Restaurant + Bar, www.facebook.com/FourthTuesdayAtlanta

It’s two parties in one – Rob Reum inside and Rob Ansley on the patio, 4 p.m – midnight, Ten Atlanta, www.tenatlanta.com Horizon Theatre’s annual, sardonic “The Santaland Diaries” with Harold Leaver as Crumpet and based on David Sedaris’ “Holidays on Ice,” runs through Dec. 31 with a 6 o’clock performance tonight, www.horizontheatre.com

MONDAY, DEC. 29

PFLAG Atlanta holds its monthly support group meeting, 2:30 – 4 p.m., St. Mark United Methodist Church, www.stmarkumc.org

The Atlanta Ballet’s holiday staple “The Nutcracker” plays at 7:30 p.m., running through Dec. 28, Fox Theatre, www.foxtheatre.org

The 25th anniversary of the Alliance Theatre’s “A Christmas Carol” is up and running, with a new Scrooge in actor David DeVries, today at 2:30 and 7:30 p.m., and running through Dec. 24, www.alliancetheatre.org

Drag-eoke with Angelica D’Paige is this evening at 10:30 p.m., Burkhart’s, www.burkharts.com

The new Monday Mingle is an opportunity to network with other LGBT professionals in the area, with drink specials, a buffet, raffle prizes and mixing and mingling, 5:30 – 8 p.m., Blake’s, www.blakesontheparkatlanta.com

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 24

TUESDAY, DEC. 30

DJ Twisted D spins into the wee hours beginning at 3 a.m., Xion, www.cariocaproductions.com

MONDAY, DEC. 22

The Atlanta Family Communicators, organized to foster networking opportunities for GLBTQ communications professionals in Atlanta, hosts a holiday social, 6 p.m. at Four Seasons Hotel Atlanta, www.fourseasons.com/atlanta Joe Gransden’s Big Band Holiday Show offers a special guest, Francine Reed, 8 p.m., Red Clay Music Foundry Monday, www.eddieowenpresents.com

During the holidays, The Dragettes perform a Las Vegas style drag act every Wednesday night at Lips Atlanta, www.lipsatl.com Ruby Redd gets Birdcage Bingo going at 7:30 p.m. every Wednesday at The Hideaway, www.atlantahideaway.com The Heretic is open Christmas Eve with DJ Stan Jackson, from 10 p.m. – 3 a.m., www.hereticatlanta.com (Photo via Facebook)

THURSDAY, DEC. 25

The acclaimed “The Imitation Game,” starring Benedict Cumberbatch as gay code breaker Alan Turing, opens in the ATL today,

Be prepared to wow a crowd at Open Mic Night at Blake’s, www.blakesontheparkatlanta.com

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 31 NEW YEAR’S EVE

All your favorite bars will be open and pouring to help you ring in 2015. Some of our Best Bets are: My Sister’s Room brings in the New Year with DJ Rapko. A $10 cover includes a champagne toast and breakfast. Doors Open at 8 p.m., www.mysistersroom.com

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BEST BETS

12.19.14

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“Dancing With the Stars Live” features celebrities such as this season’s winner Alfonso Ribeiro and performers from the popular ABC TV series, 8 p.m., Cobb Energy Centre, www.cobbenergycentre.com

The honey will flow this New Year’s Eve at the Atlanta Eagle, with music by DJ Sean Mac and a special countdown at midnight, 9 p.m. – 3 a.m., www.atlantaeagle.com The Attack of the New Year’s Eve Party Monster is a beast of a night to ring in 2015 at Mary’s in East Atlanta, 9 p.m.-3 a.m., no cover and free champagne toast at midnight, www.facebook.com/mary.heylady Heretic Atlanta presents Genesis, the White Party, featuring DJ Kidd Madonny. Doors open at 9 p.m., www.hereticatlanta.com

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It’s a Swank NYE party. Ring in the new year with sexy performances, a midnight count down & champagne toast, a DJ & dancing, music videos, festive sound & lighting, a balloon drop, party favors, and holiday cocktails in a beautiful, fun environment in the heart of Midtown at 10th & Piedmont, as well as no cover charge. The festivities begin at 10 p.m., www.facebook.com/10thAndPiedmont Serenbe Playhouse hosts “Judy,” a cabaret starring award-winning actress Natasha Drena as Judy Garland, 10:30 p.m., followed by a dance party, www.serenbeplayhouse.com

THURSDAY, JAN. 1

Xion’s New Year’s party cranks up at 3 a.m. with DJ Alex Cohen, www.xionatlanta.com SAGE Atlanta hosts its weekly happy hour and social at 10 a.m., with a general meeting at 11 a.m., Phillip Rush Center, www.rushcenteratl.com Thursdays are Ladies Nights at Le BUZZ, with a dance party and more, www.thenewlebuzz.com

FRIDAY, JAN. 2

Disco Hangover party with several DJs on hand to help you recover from New Year’s Eve’s hangover, 10 p.m., Mary’s. www.facebook.com/mary.heylady

UPCOMING SATURDAY, JAN. 3

Light up the nights

in decatur this holiday

The Lesbian 50+ Potluck and Social offers good eats and better company, 6- 8 p.m., Phillip Rush Center, www.rushcenteratl.com

MONDAY, JAN. 5

PFLAG Atlanta holds its monthly support group meeting, 7:30 – 9 p.m., St. Mark United Methodist Church, www.stmarkumc.org

Heliotrope

FRIDAY, JAN. 9

Grammy nominated, openly gay singer Sam Smith croons at the Fox Theatre, 7 p.m., www.foxtheatre.org PUMP Friday features DJ Neon the GlowGoBear spinning at Heretic, 9 p.m., www.hereticatlanta.com Sq/Ft

SUNDAY, JAN. 11

The Iberian Pig

Love it or hate it, but the gay-themed “Looking” returns to HBO for a second season tonight, www.hbo.com Butter & Cream

Little Shop of Stories

THURSDAY, JAN. 15

The Atlanta Gay Chamber of Commerce (AGLCC) presents a Business Builder Luncheon at 11:45 at Henry’s Midtown. Hosted by Dustin Drabot and Lissa Dulany on the Third Thursday of each month, $20 covers networking and a pre-set menu. www.henrysatl.com As part of the 2015 Molly Blank Jewish Concert Series, the Breman Museum presents “American Masters: Gershwin & Bernstein,” featuring music from the noted composers, 7:30 p.m., www.thebreman.org

Vivid Boutique

FRIDAY, JAN. 30

Annerin Productions present The Australian Bee Gees Show, a celebration of one of the most influential and famous musical groups of all time! 8 p.m., Cobb Energy Centre, www.cobbenergycenter.org

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Squeeze in last minute gifting (or sipping) at local shops and restaurants. Enjoy the seasonal sights and lights here before you ring in the new year. Happy holidays, y’all!

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seasonal shopportunies PROV

visitdecaturga.com 12/15/14 1:41 PM

From gay filmmakers (and couple) Wash Westmoreland and Richard Glazer comes “Still Alice,” an Alzheimer’s drama generating Oscar buzz for Julianne Moore, opening today at the Midtown Art Cinema, www.landmarktheatres.com

COLUMNISTS

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12.19.14

OUTINTHEWILD Adjusting to country life Living, learning as a gay man outside the Perimeter There are many good reasons to live outside a city. In our case, it was because my husband, Mike, began studying in Milledgeville while I was working in Atlanta. We decided to move halfway between the two cities, giving us both one bitch of a commute, but both a few minutes (well, seconds) short of the threshold that causes a stress hernia.

And it is because of this that we now live in a sparsely populated part of Newton County, surrounded by churches, gas stations and a mixed population of those of modest means who have lived here for years, and the lakesiders who are trying to gentrify them out.

Although I have never lived in a city with fewer than four million people, Mike is from one of the “-tucky” parts of Pennsylvania, where

the roads are referred to by number instead of name, and the electioneering signs don’t so much read “Romney-Ryan” as they do “ABORTION IS MURDER,” so he was more prepared.

Our house is at the end of a dead-end street, so no one drives past and we’re surrounded by forest, so no one can see the house, and most folks out this way, thankfully, keep to themselves. There are no houses near enough to hear our combined rendition of “Let It Go,” by “Adele Dazeem,” nor peer through our windows to see real-life re-enactments of the CEO and the secretary.

And once you get past the bugs and the commute, the country is pretty cool, especially after sharing a wall with two alleged music producers when we lived, but were never given the option to sleep, in Midtown Atlanta.

The cost of groceries is halved, our utility bills have dropped further than the concept of a grand jury, and we have so much space.

But I’d be lying if I said we felt completely

Simon Williamson lives with his federally-recognized spouse in the wild yonder of Newton County. You can follow him on Twitter: @simonwillo.

safe as a gay couple here. While absolutely no one has yet tried to fuck with us—we’re privileged enough to both be six-foot-tall white men—homosexuality is certainly not as normal in these parts as it is in urban America. We have yet to witness any “obviously” gay people walking around, even when we trek into the thriving metropolis of Covington to buy groceries.

This is not to say I expect any problems, or that anyone has done anything to make us feel unwelcome. We have not experienced any of the homophobic nonsense that almost

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all of us were forced to accept even just a few years ago (and which sadly remains a regular occurrence for many). But due to where I have lived in my life, it is a standout experience for me—personal, obviously—in this day and age not to have at least some sort of representation when it comes to gay people.

When we walked into a restaurant in the nearby town of Jackson two weeks ago (chosen for its well-advertised “fully stocked bar”), it was noticeable that two men who were obviously a couple had walked in.

While the mostly-old clientele unanimously looked up when we arrived, they soon returned to their (presumably soft) foods while the wait staff took what seemed an infinitely long time to send someone forward to sit us down. Not knowing whether we were going to be served or not isn’t something I’ve had the misfortune to experience in years.

In the end, our worries were unfounded.

We were quite welcome and the dinner was lovely. But having such a bare cupboard of gays out here does mean the ghosts of vulnerability make a return every now and then.

It’s a good indication of LGBTQIA rights progression that these uneasy feelings that were so common not very long ago now seem anomalous. And while I know that our winding up in such an environment was, much like a hangover, self-inflicted, it has reminded me of the privilege of having the means to live in gay-friendly locations beforehand. Our rising tide didn’t pick up all boats. Even just an hour from Atlanta.

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12.19.14

COLUMNISTS

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THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID Frugal Christmas Consider giving in to retail pressure

What’s the hottest new toy this Christmas? If I were still a kid it wouldn’t matter to my parents. They’d think it’s too expensive and that they could put something together that’s just as good as the original.

As a little kid I was not a die-hard Barbie fan, but as the youngest of three I had acquired quite a menagerie of hand-medowns. I had my sister’s Barbie, Ken, and Skipper dolls, as well as my brother’s GI Joes.

So this collective needed a place to stay other than an old broken suitcase-looking contraption that I kept them in.

When the Barbie Dream House came out that seemed like the perfect solution. But it was not to be found beneath the Christmas tree. The solution? Several of my brother’s album covers leaned upright against one another to create a series of “rooms.” You could only see it in its entirety by standing up and looking down at the “house.” But you had to be careful where you reached and stepped while playing with the dolls. One good bump, and the whole building would topple.

Several years later I witnessed my best friend and neighbor Tracy have her best Christmas ever when she and her twin brother received brand new 10-speed bikes. With curved handlebars and contoured leather seats, you could catch their new-bike-smells as they glided through the neighborhood.

While the other kids were also getting their new rides that holiday, with labels like BMX or Strawberry Shortcake, my parents knew a way to beat the system. After the festivities were over, my dad scoured area yard sales for a partially rusted but “perfectly good” townie, the kind of bikes you rent at the beach. It got me from one house to the other, but about 15 minutes behind my other fast-wheeling friends.

I was a prep growing up. The combination

Melissa Carter is one of the Morning Show hosts on B98.5. In addition, she is a writer for the Huffington Post. She is recognized as one of the first out radio personalities in Atlanta and one of the few in the country.

Follow her on Twitter @MelissaCarter

of pink and green was my thing, and when Izod began selling their famous alligator shirts I was all in. But I had a hard time convincing my parents to spend the extra money at Christmas on this staple of preppy life. So my mother came up with what she considered a win-win; she would make the shirts herself and not waste money on the designer brand.

Millie Pete purchased knock-off shirts at Walmart and sewed on her personal needleand-thread rendition of the famous alligator. I wore the runty cross-eyed reptiles but learned not to stand in one place too long at school when I did. That way I avoided the confused looks and questions about what was wrong with my shirt.

You would think my parents’ frugal trend would end once I became an adult, but no. It seems their need to save money is a life-long crusade.

For example during one Christmas while I was in my 30s, I picked up a random package as the next gift to open in our family circle. When I looked at the tag I saw it was from my mother but noticed it also said, “To: Woman.” Millie Pete had purchased the same gift for me as she did for an upcoming White Elephant party, and accidentally put the wrong tag in my pile. Thanks, Mom. If you are buying for kids this year and they are asking for a popular Christmas toy, consider giving it to them. That simple errand of buying a Zoomer Dino-Boomer, Disney Frozen Snow Glow Elsa, or Mario Kart 8 may take you an hour or two, but that’s nothing compared to the lifetime of explanations those kids will have to conjure up about any alternatives.

My parents may have saved plenty of money over the years by not cave in to retail pressures, but they made up for that at the optometrist for all the times I had to roll my eyes at them.

COLUMNISTS

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SOMETIMES'Y' Mismanaged expectations Mourning the mythical ‘golden era of gay courtship’ When one of my best friends recently told me that she has ventured into online dating, I was curious to know which websites respectable ladies joined to search for guys.

“Well, there’s Plenty of Fish,” she began.

“Ugh, Lo, that’s foul,” I said. “Could the name of that website be any more undignified?”

“What, I thought it sounded Christian,” she said.

“It sounds more like Used Pussy Depot was already taken on GoDaddy.com.”

I’m familiar with Plenty of Fish from my straight male co-workers swapping stories of conquests and blue balls, and my female co-worker describing how her engagement ended when she was rummaging through her fiance’s cellphone and saw the website flooding his browser history.

It’s an audacious venue for Lo to make her debut on the dating scene. Despite my revulsion at the Plenty of Fish name and concern that its brand is a little too seedy for my best friend, I was encouraging about her romantic pursuits. Childhood struggles with weight instilled insecurities in Lo that lasted long after she outgrew her perceived undesirability, and so she’s logging on as a 35-year-old virgin.

“The guys on Plenty of Fish are gonna loooove how tight you are,” I teased. “How’s it been so far?”

“It’s all about managing my expectations,” she said. “Like don’t be suicidal if a guy doesn’t respond to my message, or try to stop planning my wedding every time I read a cool profile. I’d like to chat and get to know somebody, but all of the guys are ready to bone after the third message.”

“Well, that’s kind of how this thing works,” I said. “Welcome to humanity.”

It took a 35-year-old virgin a few chats to figure out what an increasing number of gay men seem committed to ignoring: sex alternates with food as the third most essential priority for many men, behind air and water.

Every other profile on gay dating sites whines about how no one is looking for any-

Ryan Lee is an Atlanta writer.

thing but sex. What’s troubling is how many gay men suggest that this is an exclusively homosexual shortcoming, as if they were unaware of the carnal mischief taking place via Plenty of Fish, Christian Mingle and Facebook.

The most hilarious question that constantly appears on gay profiles is, “Whatever happened to the days when guys went on dates?”

I’m always curious about which golden era of gay courtship these guys are mourning, when high school sweethearts shared root beer floats and celibate guys awaited family approval of their suitors before consummating the relationship. We are maybe a generation removed from when almost every gay man’s best friend was someone whom he had fucked, and where the very concept of “dating” was fraught with the risk of being outed or physically attacked.

Many gay men have never walked down a street holding another man’s hand, yet they are pining to walk down the aisle with their storybook groom. We have a fraction of the practice and protocols that many heterosexuals have with dating, yet we are unforgivingly critical of ourselves and our potential partners when our relationships fall short of the heterosexual ideal—an ideal, it is worth noting, that many heterosexual couples miss, often due to male promiscuity.

I do not doubt the capacity of gay men to love deeply and sincerely, nor do I ignore how many gay relationships thrived during eras of ostracism, incarceration and plague. However, as a culture, we are in the infant days of exploring open, holistic partnerships, and already same-sex marriage is transforming from an option to an expectation.

I believe bliss and fulfillment and true love are attainable for gay men, but it’s important for us to calibrate our expectations to take into account the unique dynamics of our relationships and our history, lest many of our hearts go swimming with the fishes.

12.19.14

GA VOICE

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