09/30/16, Vol. 7 Issue 16

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GEORGIANEWS

Will Atlanta elect its first openly LGBT mayor?

In a crowded field of candidates, Cathy Woolard hopes past accomplishments will secure her election in 2017

By CHRIS CASH Cathy Woolard is used to being first and she intends to keep it that way. She was the first candidate to declare in the upcoming Atlanta mayoral race, the first openly gay official in Georgia history when elected to the Atlanta City Council in 1997, and the first woman to serve as Council president when elected in 2002. If she prevails among an already crowded field of candidates in the 2017 election, Woolard would become the first openly LGBT mayor of Atlanta. Only two other major cities in the country, Houston and Portland, have elected openly LGBT mayors.

“Following in the footsteps of great Atlanta mayors who also broke a glass ceiling, including Maynard Jackson, the first African-American mayor, and Shirley Franklin, the first female mayor, would be a great honor,”said Woolard. “This is what makes Atlanta not only one of the great cities in America, but throughout the world. It is important to show future generations that anything is possible, regardless of the color of your skin, whether you are male or female, or even your sexual orientation.”

Woolard’s list of LGBT accomplishments is extensive (see sidebar) and she has not slowed down since she began her activism with the Atlanta Committee for the National March on Washington in 1987. Most recently, Woolard could be seen daily at the state Capitol where she lobbied against House Bill 757, the anti-LGBT so-called “religious freedom” bill, for Georgia Equality. Governor Deal vetoed the bill in May. “Cathy Woolard has spent much of her life leading the fight for LGBT equality around the country and in Georgia, going back to the 1980s,” said Jeff Graham, executive director of Georgia Equality. “The progress we enjoy today really rests on the shoulders of champions like Cathy. LGBT people would not have civil rights protections in Atlanta if it weren’t for her. We couldn’t have defeated all of the anti-gay legislation in the

Cathy Woolard on the BeltLine which she introduced and fought for while president of the Atlanta City Council. The BeltLine, a pedestrianfriendly green loop which will cover 22 miles when completed, has been hailed as the most significant project of its kind in the country.

(Courtesy photo)

“LGBT people would not have civil rights protections in Atlanta if it weren’t for her. We couldn’t have defeated all of the anti-gay legislation in the Capitol in recent years if it weren’t for Cathy. She has been, and continues to be, a remarkable leader for our community.”

—Jeff Graham, executive director of Georgia Equality, on Cathy Woolard

Capitol in recent years if it weren’t for Cathy.

She has been, and continues to be, a remarkable leader for our community.”

Role in BeltLine’s creation Woolard’s activism, and ability to get things done, extends beyond LGBT causes.

An Atlanta native and UGA graduate, her concern for the city has been most clearly demonstrated by her proposal and championship of the Atlanta BeltLine. While president of the Council, she held dozens of neighborhood meetings to get residents’ input and secured funding for the now internationally recognized urban renewal project.

Ryan Gravel, whose masters thesis written

at Georgia Tech served as the model for the project, credits Woolard with its success.

“We wouldn’t be doing it without Cathy,” Gravel said. “She saw the vision; she understood it intuitively. She understood communities and the role they would play in the implementation of the project. Not only did she understand it and how to do it, she believed in Atlanta and was willing to commit her staff and time to do it.”

A recent article in the New York Times underscored the popularity and significance of the BeltLine, calling it “a staggeringly ambitious engine of urban revitalization” and “the most important rail-transit project that’s been proposed in the country, possibly in the

world.” The newspaper also used a quote from Woolard’s campaign website which promises “If you like the BeltLine now, you’re going to love it when I am your mayor.”

Victory Fund issues early endorsement The Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund, whose mission is to elect openly LGBT officials, has already endorsed Woolard’s candidacy, citing its historical and practical significance. As many southern states attempt to strip its LGBT citizens of hard-won rights, with a gay mayor, Atlanta can stand as a CONTINUES ON PAGE 15

4 News September 30, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

GEORGIANEWS

Fifth annual Gentlemen’s Ball brings the ‘Harlem Renaissance’ to Atlanta Details

Lavish event honors city’s LGBT men of color

The 5th Annnual Gentlemen’s Ball Oct. 15, 2016 6 p.m. - 11 p.m.

Atlanta Marriott Marquis General Admission: $125 VIP: Sold Out www.thegentlemensfoundation.org

By ELIJAH SARKESIAN One of the hottest events in Atlanta’s black gay community is back, and bigger than ever. The fifth annual Gentlemen’s Ball takes over Atlanta’s Marriott Marquis Oct. 14-16, with a series of events extending beyond the main event on Oct. 15.

“This year, it’s grown into a full weekend,” says Gee Session-Smalls, who created the Gentlemen’s Ball with husband Juan Session-Smalls. It’s the signature event of the couple’s nonprofit The Gentlemen’s Foundation, and it’s undergone considerable growth over the past five years.

“It started in 2011 as a second-chance prom for the LGBT community, but it really just turned into celebrating the people who are standing out and proud of who they are, because often the media didn’t show that side of our community,” says Session-Smalls. “We thought it was important to show that we are here, and to just interject our voices into what’s going on.”

Session-Smalls compares the black-tie event to a cross between the Oscars and the Met Gala. The glamour of the event is demonstrated through the themes that each year’s ball presents, and this year’s Gentlemen’s Ball is no exception.

“This year, the theme is Harlem Renaissance,” says Session-Smalls. “The Harlem Renaissance really was about celebrating these different facets of music in the black community in the Harlem area, from musical artists to painters to writers. A lot of LGBT people of color were involved in that movement. So this year, we decided to create that Renaissance theme as well, and relate it to the different facets of the gay community, the different identities that we own in our community.”

Series of weekend events lined up The Gentlemen’s Ball, co-hosted by Miss Lawrence of “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” fame and author/activist Darnell L. Moore, begins at 6 p.m. at the Marriott Marquis with a cocktail hour, where guests

The fifth annual Gentlemen’s Ball takes over Atlanta’s Marriott Marquis Oct. 14-16, with a series of events extending beyond the main event on Oct. 15. (File photo)

“There is no better time than now to gather in celebration of the many people whose work and presence makes the lives of black gay men more loving and more livable. The Gentlemen’s Ball is our chance to connect with and affirm the profound beauty of black LGBT lives. I can’t wait to dance, laugh, and shed tears in honor of our people in Atlanta this year.”

—The Gentlemen’s Ball co-host Darnell L. Moore can mingle, grab a drink and take pictures on the red carpet. The Imperial Ballroom opens at 7 p.m., with a band inside playing music from the Harlem Renaissance. Around 7:20, the awards presentation will begin. Halfway through, the presentation will break for a three-course dinner with wine service. The show will close with headlining entertainer Monifah performing.

This year’s event is surrounded by a full weekend of events. The festivities kick off Friday at 7 p.m. with a Meet and Greet at the Bailey Agency with host Xscape Puerto Rico, followed by a welcome party at a location to be determined.

Saturday will begin with a Gents Bootcamp hosted by Hollywood Fitness at 10 a.m. at the Marriott Marquis, with a series of panels and workshops following at noon. After the main

event, an after party at Opera will start at 11 p.m. The weekend wraps up with a day party on Sunday at Artlanta, beginning at 3 p.m.

Numerous honorees to be feted Between the Gentlemen’s Ball on Saturday night and the surrounding events, the weekend will be entertaining for guests. As co-host Darnell L. Moore sees it, though, this annual event is about more than having a good time.

“There is no better time than now to gather in celebration of the many people whose work and presence makes the lives of black gay men more loving and more livable,” says Moore. “The Gentlemen’s Ball is our chance to connect with and affirm the profound beauty of black LGBT lives. I can’t wait to dance, laugh, and shed tears in honor of our people in Atlanta this year.”

Among the ways the event celebrates members of the community is through its awards program. The second annual event saw the introduction of an award, and by the next year, the event became a full awards program. This year, six awards will be given out in all.

The main award of the evening is the Gentleman of the Year. The award is an allaround excellence award, based in part on career success and community involvement.

This year’s nominees are Bishop O.C. Allen, Karamo Brown, Olubode Shawn Brown, Leo Martinez and Frank Roberts. The winner, as decided by the board of the Gentlemen’s Foundation, will be announced at the Gentlemen’s Ball on Saturday night.

The Gentleman of Artistry recipient is voted on by the community from a list of nominees. This year’s recipient is rapper, producer, model and TV personality Milan Christopher.

The Gentlemen’s Foundation board names the winners in the other four categories – Gentleman of Promise, Gentleman of Service, Gentleman of Excellence and Gentleman of Alliance. This year’s recipients are Devin Barrington-Ward, Neo Sandja, former Georgia Voice editor Darian Aaron and state Sen. Vincent Ford (D-Atlanta), respectively.

“I think that it is important to celebrate ourselves, because I just don’t think that it’s something that happens often enough, not only in the black community, but also in the LGBT community of color,” says Session-Smalls. “Historically, many of us grow up not being loved and accepted for who we are, so a lot of times we suppress that. We don’t give anybody the chance to love who we are, and so when we do get to that point, it can be a little hard to fully accept ourselves.

“So I think the more we put those images out there for our community, the quicker we can get to healing.”

6 News September 30, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

Join Macy’s as we Celebrate Family + Friends + Love + Life + Equality + Respect We are proud to join the parade across America in honor of National Pride Month.

We think it’s really something to celebrate.

Plus, join us in our continued support of The Trevor Project!

The Trevor Project provides life-saving crisis intervention for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning (LGBTQ) youth.

F O R M O R E D E T A I L S visit

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GEORGIANEWS

Sex Down South Conference comes to Atlanta in October Diverse second annual event takes on ‘the politics of pleasure’

Sex Celebrities at Sex Down South Conference

By DYANA BAGBY The second annual Sex Down South Conference promises plenty of live demonstrations, workshops, parties and play. It also promises politics.

For many, this year’s election is not filled with any form of pleasure. In a time of social media and 24-hour news cycles, the campaign season has devolved into a he said, she said cacophony of bitterness, anger, frustration and incredulousness.

The styles and histories of the two candidates, however, unmask their pleasure principles, said Marla Renee Stewart, co-founder of the Sex Down South Conference that embraces the season with “The Politics of Pleasure” theme.

“People not only voted for President Obama for his politics. They voted for him because he was pleasurable … we would see him happy and interacting with people,” Stewart said. “When we have that happiness, it affects our ideals.”

Trump, Clinton pleasures analyzed Donald Trump’s brash, no-nonsense way of expressing himself, of not holding back and saying what he thinks without fear of retribution, is another form of pleasure, Stewart said.

“He’s being upfront and blunt, even though some state he is racist. He expresses himself freely. That’s important,” she said.

“Whoever we are, we want to express ourselves freely.”

With Hillary Clinton, whose entire career has been in public service, the pleasure comes from a different place.

“Her pleasure comes from service, helping other people,” Stewart said. “Her whole career is about getting pleasure from helping other people.”

State Rep. Park Cannon (D-Atlanta), a self-identified queer legislator, will also be welcoming conference attendees via video and to discuss how the personal is political.

National, state and local politics and policies are not on the agenda at the three-day con-

Sunny Megatron and Ken Melvoin-Berg – Sunny Megatron is host and producer of “Sex with Sunny Megatron” on Showtime; her husband is Ken Melvoin-Berg, a producer of the show. They both teach sexuality workshops and will present on “G-Spot and Squirting” and “Prostate Massage for Beginners” at the conference. Megatron will also be giving the closing night keynote speech on “The Revolution Starts in Your Bedroom” where she explores “how we can reconcile our relationship between the political and personal and use what we discover as a catalyst for change.”

Orpheus Black – Orpheus Black is nationally renowned erotic educator and Southern California’s two-time Leather Master/slave titleholder and the 2016 Southwest Master/ slave titleholder. Black is also the founder of Cirque de Sade, a group for dominants. Black will be giving a keynote on “The Tao of Submission” as well as teaching “Bondage & Meditation” and “The Erotic Art of Fire Play.”

Sex Down South Conference co-founder Marla Renee Stewart is the owner of Velvet Lips and a professional sex, intimacy and relationship coach. (Courtesy photo)

Details

Sex Down South Conference Oct. 13-15, 2016 Hilton Atlanta 255 Courtland St. NE, Atlanta, GA 30303 sexdownsouth.com ference, however. Stewart expects to draw 400 people this year.

Building on last year’s conference, diversity More than 50 presenters and workshops as well as “Sex Celebs” will be on hand to guide attendees through presentations on kink, BDSM, race and sexuality, reproductive justice, transgender and genderqueer sexualities and more.

“What I learned from last year is that we have some hardcore sexuality enthusiasts,” said Stewart, owner of Velvet Lips and a profession-

al sex, intimacy and relationship coach.

Last year’s inaugural conference tended to provide many 101 classes – but attendees this year are more of a 201 crowd.

“They’ve learned the basics already and now they want more. I feel very fortunate we are able to provide this for them,” Stewart said.

The conference also focuses on marginalized communities – people of color, people with disabilities, transgender and gender nonconforming individuals. Stewart and business partner and co-founder Tia Marie wanted to ensure their conference provided resources for people who may be left out of other sex and sexuality conferences.

“We want to ensure that anybody who is marginalized is in the center of inquiry,” Stewart said.

What also sets the Sex Down South Conference apart from other sexuality conferences is the encouragement of live demonstrations in the workshops.

“People need practical examples,” Stewart said.

Sinclair Sexsmith – Sinclair Sexsmith specializes in sexualities, genders and relationships. Sexsmith is the editor of “Best Lesbian Erotica 2012” and “Say Please: Lesbian BDSM Erotica,” both published by Cleis Press.

Sexsmith’s first book of erotic stories, “Sweet & Rough: Sixteen Stories of Queer Smut,” was published in 2014. Sexsmith will be teaching the workshops “Cock Confidence” and “Trigger Warning: Staying Cool, Calm & Collected in a Seriously Fucked Up World.” Sexsmith’s keynote is “Sexual Politics of BDSM.” Tyomi Morgan – Tyomi Morgan is a former model from Chicago who blogs at glamerotica101.com. She writes about sex for Ebony.com and is a contributing writer at Blackdoctor.org and a host on Playboyradio.com. Her opening night keynote will be on “Finding Your Space Within Sexuality.”

Tristan Taormino – Tristan Taormino is an award-winning author, columnist, sex educator, speaker, radio host, and feminist pornographer. She’s written eight books and has been featured in O: The Oprah Magazine, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Redbook, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Entertainment Weekly, Details, New York Magazine, Men’s Health, and Playboy. She will be presenting a workshop on “Making Open Relationships Work.”

8 News September 30, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

Discover Atlanta’s DeKalb!

It’s no secret that Atlanta is the LGBT capital of the South. Atlanta’s DeKalb is rich in diversity and progressive communities, just east of downtown.

Dine and drink at one of Decatur’s award-winning restaurants and cocktail bars and attend some of the best festivals the South has to offer throughout DeKalb. Whether you are shopping, dining, or looking to enjoy the city nightlife, DeKalb has it all.

Atlanta’s DeKalb is just a short drive away from Midtown Atlanta, Piedmont Park and a host of LGBT nightlife, restaurants and shops.

Discover more at AtlantasDeKalb.com/lgbt

NEWSBRIEFS Georgia Equality releases endorsements for November elections On Sept. 22, statewide LGBT advocacy group Georgia Equality released their endorsements for this November’s state legislature races, revealing one more LGBT candidate than previously thought and one surprising non-endorsement.

Attorney Sam Park joins Bob Gibeling as the two openly LGBT males running for the state legislature, and either of them would make history by pulling out a win and being the first openly gay male to be elected to the Georgia legislature—Rashad Taylor was outed in 2011 while in office and did not win reelection.

Park, a Democrat, is running in House District 101 against incumbent state Rep. Valerie Clark, a Republican running on lowering taxes and transportation issues. Park is making the economy, health care and equality (including opposition to any anti-LGBT so-called “religious freedom” bills) the centerpieces of his campaign.

Georgia Equality declined an endorsement in the House District 54 race that pits the openly gay Gibeling against Republican Rep. Beth Beskin. Beskin riled LGBT activists last March during a House subcommittee hearing when she failed to support LGBT nondiscrimination amendments to SB 129, state Sen. Josh McKoon’s (R-Columbus) “religious freedom” bill. However, Beskin was one of two Republicans who joined seven Democrats in passing an amendment that added anti-discrimination language into SB 129 the following day, leading the bill to be tabled and eventually failing to pass.

For the full list of Georgia Equality’s endorsements, visit www.thegavoice.com for an extended version of this story.

More than 11,000 transgender voters in Georgia may be disenfranchised A new Williams Institute study released Sept. 27 shows that Georgia’s voter ID laws may create substantial barriers to voting and possible disenfranchisement for more than 11,000 transgender voters in November.

The study shows that Georgia has over 29,000 transgender people who are eligible to vote, but over 11,000 of them (or 39 percent) do not have accurate IDs. According to a new study entitled The Potential Impact of Voter Identification www.thegeorgiavoice.com

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Georgia Equality endorsed openly LGBT House District 101 candidate Sam Park.

(Courtesy photo)

Laws on Transgender Voters in the 2016 General Election authored by Williams Institute Scholar Jody L. Herman, Ph.D., many transgender people who have transitioned do not have identification that accurately reflects their correct gender.

“Lawmakers and election officials should not overlook the impact on transgender voters when enacting voting restrictions based on identity documents,” said Williams Institute Scholar Jody L. Herman, the study’s author.

“Voter ID laws impact many citizens who would otherwise be eligible to vote. Transgender people have unique, and sometimes insurmountable, burdens to obtaining accurate IDs for voting in states that require it.”

In order for these voting-eligible transgender people to obtain the accurate IDs for voting, they must comply with the state and federal requirements for updating IDs, which can be difficult and costly to meet.

“Legislators, election officials, and poll workers should work to ensure equal access to the ballot for transgender voters, who have a disparate burden under voter ID laws,” Herman said.

AIDS Healthcare Foundation opens Out of the Closet thrift store in Atlanta Out of the Closet, the AIDS Healthcare Foundation’s (AHF) chain of thrift shops that also serve as HIV testing centers and pharma-

cies, officially opened their Atlanta store on Cheshire Bridge Road on Sept. 17. This is the 20th Out of the Closet location nationwide.

The opening was marked by a ribbon-cutting ceremony that included high-profile members of AHF, including AHF President Michael Weinstein, as approximately 50 people waited for the store to officially open its doors.

Before the red ribbon cutting, different members of the store’s team and AHF spoke briefly to the crowd. Among them was Associate Director of Testing Gregory Jacques, who talked about the importance of HIV testing at the store. Jacques noted that testing will be available with no appointments necessary Tuesday through Saturday during store hours.

According to AHF, 96 cents of every dollar the organization earns through outlets like Out of the Closet and the AHF Pharmacy go directly toward patient care. Out of the Closet’s pharmacy is part of the broader AHF Pharmacy network, which has a separate metro Atlanta location in Lithonia.

Last year’s announcement about the opening of the thrift store was met with criticism by some in Atlanta’s LGBT community, who disagree with AHF’s stance on PrEP. AID Atlanta became an affiliate of AHF last June, citing “significant debt” as the reason. An end-of-year auditor’s report from 2014 showed the agency nearly $1 million in debt.

September 30, 2016 News 11

Woolard on Atlanta Pride, accomplishments CONTINUED FROM PAGE 4 leader in civil rights as it has for decades.

“Cathy Woolard’s race for mayor of Atlanta is one of the most exciting and important in the country for LGBT equality,” said Martine Apopca, vice president of political operations and communications for the Victory Fund. “We endorsed Cathy more than a year before her election be-

cause of her visionary leadership on the City Council and because her candidacy represents an important step toward a more inclusive South – where LGBT elected officials are severely underrepresented. Cathy has proven before and will prove again that the right candidate with the right message can win anywhere.”

Woolard will take to the streets for Pride, something she has done for decades.

“I’ve been walking in the Atlanta Pride Parade since the early 1980s,” Woolard said.

“I look forward to it every year, and none more than 2016. Pride is a great way to for us to come together and demonstrate solidarity and equality, to listen to others on

how to improve our neighborhood, our city and our state.”

If you are a Woolard fan, and looking for a group to walk with in the Pride Parade, the campaign has extended an invitation to walk with them on its Facebook page, www.cathyforatlanta.com.

What Has Cathy Woolard Accomplished?

Led the Atlanta City Council to pass Georgia’s only comprehensive civil rights bill protecting LGBT people from discrimination in housing, employment and public accommodations. n

Added “gender identity” to Atlanta’s nondiscrimination policy. n

Sued Georgia’s state insurance to allow benefits for LGBT partners of state employees. n

Worked with Georgia Equality to halt the progress of Georgia’s proposed anti-LGBT “religious freedom” legislation over the past three years. n

Received the endorsement of Victory Fund in current and previous elections. n

Worked as an advocate to bring policy change at the state and local level to reverse the spread of HIV particularly among young gay, bisexual and transgender people of color. n

Served on the board of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and as the first National Field Director for the Human Rights Campaign. n

www.thegeorgiavoice.com

September 30, 2016 News 15

HAPPY PRIDE, ATLANTA!

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Editorial

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Art Director: Rob Boeger rboeger@thegavoice.com

Business

Publisher: Tim Boyd tboyd@thegavoice.com Managing Partner: Christina Cash ccash@thegavoice.com

Sales

Sales Executive: Dixon Taylor dtaylor@thegavoice.com Business Advisor: Lynn Pasqualetti Financial Firm of Record: HLM Financial Group National Advertising: Rivendell Media, 908-232-2021 sales@rivendellmedia.com

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18 Outspoken September 30, 2016

“(T)he 5 mins orange anus can’t seem to get over—tell the truth—shame donald #ImWithHer.” —Rosie O’Donnell on Twitter responding to Donald Trump lashing out at her in the first Clinton-Trump presidential debate. O’Donnell’s tweet included a link to her on “The View” criticizing Trump over his involvement with beauty pageants like Miss USA, which she called “a modeling competition.” (Photo via Facebook)

“This is Jackson Millarker. He’s 8 years old, from Atlanta, and just happens to be transgender. He plays Lily’s friend Tom in this week’s Modern Family and he’s wonderful. One of the many reasons I love being a part of this show.”

—“Modern Family” director Ryan Case in an Instagram post. Millarker’s appearance on the Sept. 28 episode made him the first openly transgender child actor on television.

(Photo via Instagram)

“We’re baaaaaaaack!”

—A tweet from openly gay “Will & Grace” star Sean Hayes on the return of the show. The following day, a video emerged of the actors back in character and taking on the 2016 election 10 years after the show ended. (Twitter, Sept. 26); (Publicity photo) www.thegeorgiavoice.com

IN THE MIDDLE

By Kim Riggins

A person to be proud of Kim Riggins lives in Smyrna with her two incredibly spoiled dogs and an unhealthy obsession with Star Wars.

“Pride isn’t about being proud to be gay. I was born that way. There is no room to take pride in something like that. I just am. I didn’t accomplish some task that bestowed the blessings of gayness on me. So, in that sense I am not ‘proud’ to be gay.”

I will share a little-known fact about myself because sharing is fun. I love country music. Well, let me clarify, I love old country music. Not this new country/pop/rap hybrid nonsense that people call country. I mean actual country music. Loretta Lynn, Conway Twitty, Johnny Cash…that sort of country.

Dolly Parton is one of my favorites and my favorite Dolly song is “Jolene.” Granted, the lyrics seem a little far-fetched. “Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, I’m begging of you please don’t take my man” is not the conversation I would be having with Jolene.

“Jolene, it certainly seems like you deserve each other so take him, because after today he’s definitely going to need a new place to sleep,” seems like the more likely scenario.

Or maybe, “Jolene, you can try.”

I shared this thought with my friend and, totally mistaking my meaning she said, “Okay, fine. Change ‘Jolene’ to ‘Joe’ and beg him not to take your woman.” We laughed, but I couldn’t help feeling just a little sad. In that moment I felt defined by my sexuality. It dawned on me then that many people I know referred to me as their “lesbian friend.” That was the image I portrayed. I was “out and proud.” I was not afraid and they were not afraid to call me their friend. There was a time when I was younger and fresh out of the closet that my chest would have swelled a little with pride, but all I could think was that there was so much more to me than that. “Lesbian” was my descriptor but not who I was.

When we talk about “Pride,” we are talking about the struggle of our community against hate, bigotry and injustice. We are 20 Outspoken September 30, 2016

talking about the fact that we no longer have to be afraid or ashamed of who we are. What would that look like if we weren’t just proud to be gay, but proud to be who we are.

What if, when people ask, “Why don’t we have straight pride?” the answer was, “Well, why don’t you?” Pride isn’t about being proud to be gay. I was born that way.

There is no room to take pride in something like that. I just am. I didn’t accomplish some task that bestowed the blessings of gayness on me. So, in that sense I am not “proud” to be gay.

However, I am proud that I am no longer as afraid of what people may think or say about me. I am proud that in place of a bigoted, judgmental heart there now beats a kinder, more compassionate one. Those are results of a very real struggle directly related to my sexuality but have little to actually do with it. I am proud of the person that I am now because of those struggles.

So, the question is, what are we proud of?

If I am proud to be me, what exactly does that mean? Is it just that I’m proud to be gay? That isn’t enough. Not for me. I want to be more. When I die, will they say, “She was gay,” and stop? I hope not, though after considering that for a bit, it’s kind of funny.

What if they really did say that? Anyways, there must be more and so I have to ask myself, “What am I proud of?” and not only that but “What am I not proud of?” Then begins the arduous struggle of cutting away all the things I am not proud of like fear, anger, hate and selfishness to make room for a better me. A me I can be proud of.

Creepoftheweek Voting North Carolina Gov. Pat McCrory out of office is true ‘common sense’

By D’ANNE WITKOWSKI Hey, remember that anti-gay law in North Carolina, HB2 (which stands for “hate & bullshit”)? Well gosh darn, the whole thing just doesn’t seem to be going very well for them.

Tourism, businesses, the NCAA and ACC (no sportz ball for bigots!), and even Bruce Springsteen canceled, fled, and/or ceased plans for expansion.

In fact, according to Wired magazine, “[T]he total cost to North Carolinians so far from HB2 protests is slightly more than $395 million.” That’s a lot of millions.

The state’s governor, Pat McCrory, is willing to back a repeal of HB2 only if the city of Charlotte agrees to repeal its LGBT rights ordinance, which protects LGBT people from discrimination, including discrimination in public restrooms. But Charlotte’s mayor and city council are all, “Nope.” And McCrory is pissed.

McCrory said in a statement, “Despite offering a very reasonable solution and compromise for North Carolina, it’s obvious that D.C. special interest political pressures on elected Charlotte city officials – and even our own attorney general – again derailed common sense.”

Only a man completely out of touch and/or without a heart thinks that LGBT people are a faceless big pressure “D.C. special interest” group and not, you know, Gov. Pat McCrory human beings.

And as for common sense, give me a break. Dude: you signed a bill that has resulted in your state hemorrhaging nearly $400,000,000 and counting. You diverted a half a million dollars from disaster relief to pay for HB2-related legal bills. You don’t get a say in “sense,” common or otherwise.

While McCrory may not have the power of common sense, he does have the power to call for a special session of the legislature to repeal HB2. And here’s the thing: even if Charlotte did say, “Oh, okay. We hate LGBT people too, now,” there’s no guarantee that HB2 would get the ax. But McCrory should. May the voters of North Carolina enact the very reasonable solution of voting him out of office.

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“It isn’t often that we don’t have to worry about the outside world, and even during Pride we vastly outnumber the assholes who can’t resist coming to tell us we’re going to hell, as if we don’t know that already, having all, at some point, experienced the world those people want us to continue to inhabit.”

In February I attended a wedding of two friends and it was packed full of my people, and it was fantastic.

We had a magnificent time because it was one of the few occasions that we just got to be with people like us and do things that we like doing and be surrounded by people that know how to sing and perform “I Will Survive” in unison. It might sound somewhat selfish, but as gay men we understand the First Amendment doesn’t always extend to us with the ease it does others, and that for the other letters in our abbreviation even less so. It is why being able to socialize in what could be uncharitably termed a “safe space” is so incredibly important.

The first column I ever wrote professionally, as a controversy-seeking 20-something,

OUT IN THE WILD

By Simon Williamson

Protecting Pride Simon Williamson lives with his husband in heteronormatively-assimilative fashion in Athens, after a year of surviving rural Georgia. whined at the idea of Pride. But as a wiser adult I am glad to say I utterly reject my own words in spite of Pride’s very evident and well-documented faults, like its usual sheen of whiteness, rainbow police cars and corporate friendship.

Like the wedding, we get a weekend a year to be ourselves across our city, without having to give a fig about who is watching.

We are with ourselves and, en masse, we care not how everyone else feels about us.

Even in a city like Atlanta, being openly gay at work is a big decision. Being trans is dangerous. Choosing not to square oneself on the gender binary is laden with potential pushback. While we might feel comfortable most of the time, we’re dominated in numbers and culture by straight people, and no matter how

much we like to stay within our comfort bubble (eg. Midtown), we are always going to have to leave it at some point, or have it penetrated.

Which is why Pride is such an important weekend. I don’t really care for the partying that goes on during the whole period – I am 33 going on a whiny and quiet-seeking 65 – but WE are the dominant folk during this period every year; the city (at least part of it) becomes ours, and those of us who can’t afford to live in Midtown still get to come and partake in it.

It isn’t often that we don’t have to worry about the outside world, and even during Pride we vastly outnumber the assholes who can’t resist coming to tell us we’re going to hell, as if we don’t know that already, having all, at some point, experienced the world those people want us to continue to inhabit. A shout-

out to those stationed up and down Peachtree Street who block them out with the giant flowers – singularly my favorite part of the whole week’s festivities, and a protective and large “fuck you” to those that want to come and destroy the one weekend we get each year.

The importance of Pride cannot be overstated. We can advance it, and include more people, and refuse more corporates, and welcome those who have a justifiable fear of the cops, and never forget all the people to whom we are bound, but we should never let it go. It is an institution that must be improved and maintained, because when the hell else do we ever get our own thing in our own cities, where we can avoid the gaze of straight people, and not have to give any sort of a fuck about anyone except ourselves?

22 Outspoken September 30, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

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IN THE MARGINS

“I can’t speak for my homies but as we started to correspond with Pride representatives, I was skeptical. I wanted to know if these people would actually listen to us and allow us to speak out on our own terms. I had nothing to worry about. Even after we stopped the parade with a die-in, we were good.”

In a couple of weeks, it will be the most wonderful time of the year. Halls across Atlanta will be decked. There will be glitter, lights and jolly men everywhere.

Happy Pride, family!

As I said in my last column, I was a lateblooming lesbian so I didn’t attend Pride until a couple of years ago, but I have been hooked ever since. This might seem uncharacteristic of someone that has been extremely critical of Atlanta’s LGBT community, and while Pride has plenty of problematic aspects, I’m still excited.

Although gay marriage was legalized last year and trans issues are more visible, I still think Pride is just as relevant now as it was when Stonewall popped off almost 40 years ago. Do I feel a way about the corporate presence at the festival? Absolutely. Do

By Ashleigh Atwell

Pride is my platform Ashleigh Atwell is a queer lesbian writer and organizer born and raised in Atlanta, GA. I think Atlanta’s LGBTQ community has a diversity problem? Sure.

Still, as someone who has been an active participant rather than a spectator, I see the effort that Atlanta Pride is making as an organization. Last year, a few friends and I got together to make a statement during the Pride parade. We wanted to call out the mainstream movement’s lackluster effort regarding issues unrelated to marriage equality such as mental health, poverty and the murders of transgender women. We wanted to remind people that Pride was more than a party. After all, Stonewall was a riot against police brutality.

I can’t speak for my homies but as we started to correspond with Pride representatives, I was skeptical. I wanted to know if these people would actually listen to us and allow us to

speak out on our own terms. I had nothing to worry about. Even after we stopped the parade with a die-in, we were good. They’re trying, so I’ll allow them to do so and if I catch them slipping, I will let them know.

Despite the pink-washing of the movement, people of color have been an active part of the movement since the first brick was thrown during Stonewall. Women like Marsha P. Johnson, Sylvia Rivera and Miss Major Griffin-Gracy, who has been a grand marshal in modern Pride parades, are the backbone of this movement.

Bayard Rustin, a queer black man, is the reason the March on Washington happened. I feel like participating in Pride and its change for the better is my way of honoring their legacies.

Pride is also a perfect platform for me to tell GayTL how I really feel. When I’m happy, I’ll

prance down Peachtree like everyone else. If I’m not, I’ll do what I did last year and walk into Piedmont Park chanting with my fist raised.

Another fun aspect of Pride has been helping with the Dyke March and I’m happy to say I’m one of its main organizers this year. The theme I want for this year is #stilladyke. We tend to get hung up on labels and what makes someone a REAL lesbian. I hate it and I want to help change that behavior. I don’t ever want people to feel like they cannot find love among Atlanta’s lesbian community if they’re bisexual, femme, transgender or anything else. I can’t think of a more appropriate place for that message than Pride. The Dyke March will be on Saturday, Oct. 8 at 5:30 p.m. Check out the Trans March, which starts at 1:30 p.m., too.

If you see me, holler. I don’t bite.

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www.atlantagastro.com 1.866.GO.TO.AGA [468.6242] The Atlanta Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (AGLCC) honored the city’s LGBT business world best at their annual Community Awards Dinner on Sept. 23. (File photo) AGA is a participating provider for Medicare, Medicaid and most healthcare plans offered in Georgia.

Atlanta gay chamber fetes winners at annual awards dinner The Atlanta Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (AGLCC) honored the city’s LGBT business world best at their annual Community Awards Dinner on Sept. 23 at the InterContinental Buckhead Atlanta.

The lavish and lively awards dinner, emceed by Tony Kearney, was preceded by a cocktail reception and silent auction, followed by an after party at the hotel. The winners were: Guardian Angel: Lost-n-Found Youth Corporate Ally: First Data Small Business of the Year: Henry’s Midtown Tavern n Rising Star: Paul Beauchamp, Gayborhood n Rosemary Jones Lifetime Achievement Award: Paul Plate, Positive Impact Health Centers n Business Woman of the Year: Pamela Stewart, The Coca-Cola Company n Business Man of the Year: Cale Hall, Creative Approach n Vanguard Award: Selisse Berry, founder and CEO of Out & Equal Workplace Advocates n Member of the Year: Carlton Brown, Occasional Occasions n n n

The AGLCC was honored last month with the 2016 Chamber of the Year Award at the National Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce’s 2016 International Business & Leadership Conference in Palm Springs, Calif.

Health Initiative marks 20th anniversary The Health Initiative is celebrating its 20th anniversary this year. The organization provides education, advocacy, support and improved access to care to Georgia’s LGBT community. They are the largest nonprofit organization in the southeast devoted solely to the health and wellness of LGBT people.

The organization began in 1996 as the Atlanta Lesbian Cancer Initiative, changed their name to the Atlanta Lesbian Health Initiative in 2004, and then changed it to The Health Initiative in 2011.

They will host their first-ever State of LGBTQ Health Roundtable and Reception on Nov. 10 at Piedmont Hospital. The keynote speaker will be national LGBT health policy advocate Dr. Scout, the director of HealthLink (formerly the Network for LGBT Health Equity) at CenterLink in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. A panel discussion with Georgia healthcare providers, administrators and policy makers on best practices for improving access to LGBT-friendly healthcare will be followed by a reception for speakers and donors.

28 Community September 30, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

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ATLANTA PRIDE Pride parade grand marshal PFLAG Atlanta celebrates 30th anniversary LGBT group evolves to confront complex issues

By DIONNE WALKER For gay men and lesbians, it was a different day and age.

The year was 1972, and the concepts of same-sex marriage, partner benefits or even openly stating your sexuality were foreign. Instead, gay and lesbian men and women faced open ridicule and discrimination – and Jeanne Manford was sick of it. The headstrong mom took a stand by walking with her gay son, Morty, in New York’s Christopher Street Liberation Day March, known now as the city’s most famed Pride parade. The gesture would open the flood gates of parents looking for ways to support and understand their same gender loving children, eventually birthing what would come to be known as Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays.

Now known as PFLAG, the grassroots network born that day is still standing strong, with chapters across the country, including here in Atlanta. PFLAG Atlanta will mark its 30th anniversary this year, celebrating with a high-profile spot as grand marshal in the Atlanta Pride parade on Oct. 9.

Pivoting to tackle transgender, other issues Three decades after its start, PFLAG Atlanta leaders say the grassroots group has pivoted to become more relevant to families with new and more complex issues – among them, transgender needs and sexual identity among increasingly precocious youth.

The national group recently embraced a more transgender-friendly name, while locally, Atlanta support circles have opened meetings to children.

“For some people, this really is a safe haven, where they can feel safe and welcome,” said PFLAG Atlanta President Maria Voutos, explaining the group’s staying power.

The PFLAG Atlanta format is simple: Queer men and women, allies and any other supporters meet on first Mondays and third Sundays, form a circle and talk about whatever they need to get out.

PFLAG Atlanta always has a strong presence in the annual Atlanta Pride parade, and will again this year after being selected as a grand marshal. (File photo)

“For me, it’s just a place where people get it.”

—Jennifer Slipakoff, mother of a transgender girl, on PFLAG Atlanta The Atlanta group has two chapters with roughly 200 paid member families, and a rotating cast of visitors; Voutos said while they don’t keep a tally of visitors, each of the support circles has been growing to upward of 30 attendees, she said.

Those range from men and women who are practicing coming out themselves to families anticipating a member coming out.

“On the other hand, we have parents

coming in who are distraught and not understanding and in tears,” Voutos said. “[They’re] really struggling to find a place where they can connect with their child.”

PFLAG chapters in more than 400 communities It was the desire to see her child accepted that originally led Manford to join her son marching down Christopher Street all those

years go. According to PFLAG lore, so many gay and lesbian men and women approached Manford to speak to their parents that she decided to begin a support group.

The first meeting took place on March 26, 1973 in a Greenwich Village church, according to the national group. About 20 people attended.

CONTINUES ON PAGE 38

34 Pride Pullout September 30, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

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EQUALITY LEARN HOW YOU CAN HELP END DISCRIMINATION Visit the Georgia Equality Booth at: ATLANTA PRIDE FESTIVAL October 8-9 SAVANNAH PRIDE FESTIVAL October 22

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PFLAG helps Kennesaw family CONTINUED FROM PAGE 34 Decades later, chapters exist in more than 400 communities, from Alaska to Alabama.

Outside Atlanta, the Georgia region includes chapters in Johns Creek, Marietta, Macon, Peachtree City and Athens.

Over time, Voutos said the group’s mission has stretched to include educating the community on LGBT issues. In turn, she said the community is educating them on their needs – which increasingly center on transgender and queer youth.

Kennesaw parents with trans daughter grateful Families like the Slipakoffs, in Kennesaw, typify the new face of LGBT families.

Eight years ago, Jennifer Slipakoff was looking forward to welcoming a son. Already the mother of one rough and tumble boy, she readied her nursery with traditional boys décor, and prepared for a house bustling with

PFLAG now has chapters in more than 400 communities across the US. (File photo)

trucks and play gun fights.

Her transgender daughter Allie, now a third grader, had other plans.

Slipakoff said she first noticed her daughter gravitating to traditionally feminine things around 18 months – a doll here, female-themed pajamas there. When her little one started turning capes into skirts and pillowcases into flowing hair, Slipakoff concluded she was going to have a gay son.

Then one day, Slipakoff said Allie feigned sleepiness and slipped into the girl’s pajamas her open-minded parents had bought for her. Moments later, Slipakoff said her toddler was wide awake – but unwilling to take off the pajamas.

“I realized that she had just put those pajamas on because they were girl’s clothes,” said Slipakoff, who, in a lightbulb moment, realized she was seeing more than just a gay youth.

Over the next few years, her child transitioned into full-time girls clothing, female pronouns and a name that suited her better than her birth name. By the time Allie talked about being a mom, not a parent, Slipakoff

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had started looking for families like hers.

She joined PFLAG Atlanta two years ago.

It has since become an invaluable place to meet people who understand the journey of raising a young transwoman.

“For me,” she said, “it’s just a place where people get it.”

For their work helping create a safe space for countless LGBT families and supporters, PFLAG Atlanta will be honored with a grand marshal slot in the Atlanta Pride parade on Oct. 9. The parade will feature a dozen such grand marshals nominated for ongoing contributions to the LGBT community. Other grand marshals include Simone Bell, southern regional director for Lambda Legal, and Out On Film.

By being in the parade, Voutos said the group hopes to build toward its future by echoing the past and that bold day so many years ago.

“It’s the opportunity for us to say, ‘Come and talk to us,’” Voutos said.

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38 Pride Pullout September 30, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

2016 Atlanta Pride Event Guide FRIDAY, SEPT. 30

It’s gonna get hot. Wild Cherry Sucret is the host for the Sixth Annual Underwear Auction to benefit Atlanta Pride, 10 p.m., Swinging Richards, 1400 Northside Drive, NW, Atlanta, GA 30318, www.atlantapride.org

OCT. 1 – OCT. 9

In celebration of Atlanta Pride, Lululemon is hosting a week’s worth of classes benefiting Lost-n-Found Youth, 1168 Howell Mill Road, Atlanta, GA 30318, full schedule at www.atlantapride.org

SATURDAY, OCT. 1

Join Voices of Note for an evening of engaging performances, delicious food, delectable drinks, and a first-rate silent auction at ENCORE 2016. The popular catered event will be held at the beautiful Historic Academy of Medicine at Georgia Tech, 875 W. Peachtree St., NW Atlanta, GA 30309, tickets are $100 apiece and include heavy hors d’oeuvres, access to the silent auction, and special performances, 7 p.m., www.atlantapride.org Kickin’ It For Pride is a one-day kickball tournament hosted by Atlanta Sport and Social Club and benefiting Lost-N-Found Youth to jump start Atlanta’s Pride Weekend. Players of all skill levels are welcome to get in the game. Central Park Place NE & Linden Avenue NE, 10 a.m. - 6 p.m., www.atlantapride.org You are invited to the 1st Annual LGBTQA Wedding Expo at the beautiful Emory Hotel from 12 p.m. - 5 p.m. This is a safe space for LGBTQ couples & our allies to choose businesses for your special day that are excited to make your day all that you dream of! www.atlantapride.org

SUNDAY, OCT. 2

Out On Film and Atlanta Pride present “Free Cece!” The documentary about an incarcerated transgender woman screens at Landmark Midtown Art Cinema, 4:30 p.m., www.atlantapride.org

40 Pride Pullout September 30, 2016

SUNDAY, OCT. 9

It’s the one, the only, the Atlanta Pride Parade. The parade steps off from the Civic Center MARTA station at 12 p.m. and ends at the Charles Allen Gate entrance to Piedmont Park, www.atlantapride.org (File photo)

TUESDAY, OCT. 4

Latino LinQ will host a free public screening of “Before God, We Are All Family,” a film produced by the Human Rights Campaign and the A La Familia project of the HRC Religion and Faith Program. Enjoy a complimentary reception, refreshments and a brief panel discussion.

6 p.m., Latin American Association, 2750 Buford Hwy., Atlanta, GA30324, www.latinolinq.org

THURSDAY, OCT. 6

Join The Trevor Project for their first annual A Night Out For Trevor: Atlanta PRIDE. Come mingle with corporate leaders, advocates and local community members to support The Trevor Project’s lifesaving, life-affirming work to prevent suicide among LGBTQ youth. Complimentary drinks

and bites from 6-7:30 p.m. Event ends at 9 p.m., TEN Atlanta, 990 Piedmont Ave., Atlanta, GA 30309, www.trvr.org/atlanta Queer Ride for Pride 2016 is a 7.5-mile ride with stops at some social spaces and a chance to reflect at two locales where our queer sisters and brothers courageously interrupted the dominant paradigm of their time.

Meet at Piedmont Ave. and 12th Street, 6 p.m., www.facebook.com/ events/862635153842271/ During Atlanta Pride Week, eight individuals from all walks of life will share their personal stories relating to LGBT life in Out/Spoken – Queer, Questioning, Bold and Proud: True Stories Through an LGBTQ Lens. Don’t miss

this opportunity to watch as good stories are turned into great performances. This event is co-hosted by award-winning Story District and HRC Atlanta, $25, 7 p.m., Dobbs University Center, Emory University, 606 Asbury Circle, Atlanta, GA 30322, hrc.im/outspokenatl The Rt. Reverend Keith Whitmore, Assistant Bishop of Atlanta will preside at Integrity Atlanta’s 28th Annual Gay Pride Eucharist, The Reverend Gwen Fry, Vice President for National Affairs of Integrity USA will preach.

This service is open to everyone and all are welcome. 7:30 p.m., All Saints’ Episcopal Church, 634 West Peachtree St., NW, Atlanta, GA, www.atlantapride.org

CONTINUES ON PAGE 42 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 40

4:15 p.m. - Pale Clear 5:15 p.m. - Jason Maek & Zaena 6:45 p.m. - Queer Your Gender Dance Party with DJ Canvas

FRIDAY, OCT. 7

The Official Atlanta Pride Kick Off Party starts the festival off with the city’s best cocktail party in a unique venue with talented performers. For the eighth year, the Georgia Aquarium hosts this event that has become a community favorite.

225 Baker St., NW, Atlanta, GA 30313, www.georgiaaquarium.org/convention/ atlantapride

Coca-Cola Main Stage

2:00 p.m. - Tris Day 2:55 p.m. - Amythyst Kiah & Her Chest of Glass 3:50 p.m. - Erica Dawson Exclusive 4:50 p.m. - The Mad Violinist 5:45 p.m. - Nina Sky 6:45 p.m. - Kiiara (Sponsored by 96.1) 7:35 p.m. - Zara Larsson (Sponsored by 96.1) 8:35 p.m. - Jody Watley & Shalamar Reloaded

Atlanta Heaven Pride Party has an elegant new location this year! Join for an evening of celebration and dancing at the stunning Livingston at The Georgian Terrace Hotel. Entertainment by DJ Yvonne Monet, Sed The Saint and the hottest dancers in Atlanta. $25-$150, 8 p.m. - 2 a.m., 659 Peachtree St., NE, Atlanta, GA 30308, www.eventbrite. com/e/atlanta-heaven-pride-party2016-tickets-27446787079 My Sister’s Room hosts Glow Party at MSR: The Official After-Party of the Kick Off at the Georgia Aquarium, 10 p.m., 1271 Glenwood Ave., SE, Atlanta, GA 30316, www.mysistersroom.com

SATURDAY-SUNDAY, OCT. 8-9

Gray Pride is an area where programming and entertainment is catered to the 50-plus population but where all are welcome. The Visitor’s Center will hold a story collecting site, historical display, and special prizes. 12th Street Gate Visitors Center in Piedmont Park, 10 a.m.

- 7 p.m. on Saturday, 2 p.m. - 6 p.m. on Sunday, www.atlantapride.org Fan of board games? Card games? Come join the OutWorlders and play a game.

Strategy, social, card, parlour: you name it they probably have it! Come play an old favorite or learn a new game, or just watch. Everyone is welcome! 10 a.m. Saturday till 7 p.m. Sunday, The Bandstand in Piedmont Park, outworlders.info Kids of all ages welcome to come get their face painted, play games, enjoy inflatables, and spend time with other LGBTQ families at the Atlanta Pride Kids Zone Presented by Turner. The Kids Zone is open to families all weekend long and is located at the back of the Meadow by the Coca-Cola Main Stage. 10 a.m.

Saturday to 7 p.m. Sunday, www.atlantapride.org The Youth Liberation Space is a space where queer and trans young people (14-25 years old) can hang out, relax, and empower themselves. Games (e.g.,

42 Pride Pullout September 30, 2016

Electric Circus is the Offical Women’s Party of Atlanta Pride, Opera Nightclub, 1150 Crescent Ave., NE, Atlanta, GA 30309, 10 p.m., www.atlantapride.org

SUNDAY, OCT. 9

SATURDAY, OCT. 8

The Dyke March, with its focus on women, unites to create an atmosphere of inclusion and community. The march is open to all women loving women (trans-inclusive) of any race, culture, orientation, ability, health, socioeconomic level, family structure, faith, or age! Assembly begins at the Charles Allen Gate at 5:30 p.m. and the march steps off at 6 p.m., www.atlantapride.org (File photo) Yard Jenga, Twister, Hula Hoops), activities (e.g., poster-making), and music are ongoing parts of the space. Piedmont Park Dock, 11 a.m. Saturday to 6 p.m. Sunday, www.atlantapride.org

motorcycles at the Car and Motorcycle Show, roadway inside Piedmont Park between 12th Street and 14th Street gates, 10:45 a.m. - 4 p.m., www.atlantapride.org

The LGBT Institute of the Center for Civil and Human Rights historical panels will be on display for the festival at the Pavilion by the Pool, 10 a.m. Saturday to 7 p.m. Sunday, www.atlantapride.org

Admissions representatives from LGBTQwelcoming colleges and universities from all over the US will be present to discuss their campus with potential students and their families at the Campus Pride College Fair Presented by Nissan.

12:30 p.m. - 3:30 p.m., large tent near the Playground and Greystone Pool House, www.atlantapride.org

SATURDAY, OCT. 8

Tough Love Yoga is a free all-levels yoga class that’s a celebration of togetherness and community pride! Feel free to bring a mat and a towel. All ages and abilities are welcome. Piedmont Park Pavilion, 10-11 a.m., www.atlantapride.org Nearly 30 years ago a group of strangers gathered to remember the names and lives of their loved ones they feared history would forget, and with that seemingly simple act of love and defiance, the first panels of The AIDS Memorial Quilt (The Quilt) were created and The NAMES Project founded. View panels of The Quilt at Oak Hill in Piedmont Park, 10 a.m. 4 p.m., www.atlantapride.org The Lambda Car Club and The Lost Boys present a stunning combination of antique, classic, special interest cars, and

The Trans March and Rally celebrates and promotes visibility of the transgender community. All trans people and trans allies are welcome to participate. Coca-Cola Main Stage and Charles Allen Gate Entrance at 1:30 p.m., steps off at 2 p.m., www.atlantapride.org There’s plenty of music, comedy and more on both stages in Piedmont Park throughout the weekend.

Bud Light Stage

12:45 p.m. - Comedy Showcase with Julie Osborne 2:00 p.m. - Royce Hall 2:35 p.m. - Von Grey 3:20 p.m. - Motor Earth

Celebrate Atlanta Pride and a victorious year for LGBT equality in Georgia at the 15th Annual HRC Atlanta Pride Brunch, the official brunch of Atlanta Pride! Guests will be treated to two hours of complimentary cocktails and a delicious Southern brunch catered by Empire State South while watching the Atlanta Pride parade. 10:30 a.m. - 2:30 p.m., www.atlantapride.org Livingston Restaurant + Bar’s Pride on the Terrace event kicks off at 11 a.m. General Admission is $28 and includes a brunch buffet and a dance party hosted by DJ Yvonne Monet. www.livingstonatlanta.com Take a break from the activity of the festival and visit an Atlanta Pride first—Healing Space, sponsored by TransThriving.

Chair massages, self-care evaluations, guidance for your individual yoga practice/ inner exploration, and group yoga classes are available. 1-7 p.m., College Fair Tent, www.atlantapride.org The entertainment continues on Sunday at the two performance stages in Piedmont Park, capped off as always by the drag extravaganza The Starlight Cabaret!

Bud Light Stage

3:00 p.m. - House Music 4:00 p.m. - DV Father Fannie

Coca-Cola Main Stage

4:00 p.m. - Michel Jons 5:20 p.m. - DJ Citizen Jane 6:10 p.m. - Deven Green (Sponsored by David Atlanta) 6:40 p.m. - JD Samson 7:35 p.m. - Starlight Cabaret

www.thegeorgiavoice.com

Embracing A

All of Atlanta

ATLANTA PRIDE

Unforgettable Atlanta Pride memories Georgia Voice readers weigh in on those Atlanta Pride moments that have stuck with them over the years

T-shirt and marching with my brother and his partner. It felt so good to be out of the closet and into the streets! It was more of a protest march than the fun festive Pride that we have today.

-Don Hunnewell

My first Pride was the year the B-52s entertained. That Sunday night at the Starlight Cabaret, The Goddess Raven was speaking of the hate of protesters. As she was lifting our spirits a rainbow appeared above Piedmont Park. In that moment I felt like I was where I needed to be! Pride was no longer just a hot weekend in Atlanta. I carried pride 365 days a year. Also I would like to add that an APC (Atlanta Pride Committee) member Greg Barrett has since passed away and I think we should remember his service for Atlanta Pride.

-Sam Acker

Moshing in the rain and mud to lesbian punk bands pride ’96.

-Clarence Boothill

My first Pride was in 2013 and my girlfriend and I stayed at the Georgian Terrence.

The morning after the kick-off party I made sure her and I were up to watch the sunrise over the Atlanta skyline on the roof of the hotel. As we watched I turned to her and told her I loved her for the very first time.

Her smile the first time she said it back is something I will never forget. Now we are five days away from our wedding!

-Tiffany Balli My favorite memory was Pride 2010 when I walked in the parade with Angel Action Atlanta and we rounded the corner at 10th and Peachtree to face one of biggest and most vile hate groups we had ever faced...and as we slowly and peacefully approached them they momentarily looked confused...and then we turned our backs to them as the roaring and cheering crowd drowned out their ugly hate space and tears rolled down my face.

-Leslie Kimbell First Pride 1977, maybe 200 to 300 of us and I was wearing an “Anita Bryant Sucks”

I brought my 11-year-old girl to Pride last year, just so she could experience being among thousands of people celebrating those of us who have been treated badly for so long. I want her to be armed with truth and empathy should she ever be confronted with hatred—be it against her or others. She cheered every group that passed by, and not once did she show anything but love and support for all. She had a great time, and has asked to go again this year.

-Al Effendi

dise, tables and tent stakes as the twister ripped through several tents scattering people and paper all over the place. Fortunately no one was hurt. We all put our tents back in order and carried on as we scratched our heads wondering what had just happened. If anyone ever wonders why Atlanta holds Pride in October instead of June like everyone else, it was several years in a row of drenching and hot weather events like this that started the discussion.

-Cathy Woolard

My favorite was more recent. It was the year Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was repealed. Corps of police officers, active military, and retired military led the parade without fear of destructive retribution. I stood there with tears in my eyes and gratitude in my soul, with my hand over my heart. I’ve attended Pride since 1985 and I have never been more affected.

-Russ Lenox

Always the angels marching in white with regal wings!!!

-Shane Reed

My first Pride was 2001. Me and my late girlfriend did the commitment ceremony.

She passed away a year later. It was amazing.

She was so happy. Best Pride.

-Tracie L. Williamson One of my most unforgettable Pride memories is the year that I was working in a booth in Piedmont Park. It was beastly hot that June and we were watching the usual late summer afternoon storm clouds roll in. At some point a bizarre ground twister started picking up dirt, trash and was headed our way. It was a little tiny tornado. We were all watching helplessly as it got closer. Everyone started grabbing merchan-

I moved to the US on June 17th, 1997.

Attending Pride is one of my first memories of being in America. I remember tents on the hill close to 10th Street, folks having a great time, a big stage with great local acts and the marketplace: just a few rows of booths with a flurry of rainbow-colored merchandise. The whole celebration wasn’t as big as it is today, but to me it represented the openness and the freedom of being who I always was, but in a new country. It was the welcome party for a brand new LGBTQ immigrant! I felt loved.

-Leo Martinez Favorite Pride? The first few years of Southern Voice (1988 & 1989) are the most memorable to me. There was an energy after the National March on Washington in 1987 that, to me, has never been matched. Looking back, I can see there was both an innocence and a passion that truly warranted the label

“community.” We were losing friends daily to AIDS, fighting for the most basic of rights and celebrating every small victory. It was a golden time and I am grateful I was there to witness it.

-Chris Cash When Debbie Gibson was a guest, and when all of us lesbians used to slide down the muddy hill.

-Charlene Chamlee My favorite Pride memory was shared with thousands along the parade route last year.

With the support of Power 96.1, me and my partner at the time (now my husband) were riders on the float and unbeknownst to him, we stopped the parade and I got down on one knee and proposed to him in front of the greatest, supportive crowd ever. To top the proposal, we were married in Times Square on New Year’s Eve a couple of months later.

-Alexander Westbrook-Eisele Pride 10 years ago, my roommate and I had Westboro-type protesters outside of our apartment across from Piedmont Park. After yelling at them for a few minutes I went back inside, grabbed a piece of cardboard and some shoe polish (couldn’t find a marker) and then spent the next 30 minutes having the time of my life while the most vile and horrible things were said to me [White made a sign that said “Homo Sex is Great”]. I was even pushed in front of a car. It was awesome. My friend posted the pic on flickr and Neal Boortz picked it up and from there it went viral.

-Joshua White

46 Pride Pullout September 30, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

ATLANTA PRIDE 2016 FESTIVAL MAP KEY R = Red Booths O = Orange Booths Y = Yellow Booths G = Green Booths B = Blue Booths P = Purple Booths ATM Baby Changing Station?

First Aid provided by Grady Health System Free Water Station Restrooms All Listings as of September 20, 2016.

If you can’t find the booth you are looking for, look for PRIDE INFORMATION volunteers in bright pink shirts roaming the park.

Happy Pride EVERYONE! atlanta can’t live without

ATLANTA PRIDE PARADE MAP

Sunday, October 9, 12:00 p.m.

Assembly begins at 10:30 a.m. on the streets near the Civic Center MARTA Station Route: The parade will step off from the Civic Center MARTA Station. The parade merges off Ralph McGill onto Peachtree Street and travels north. It then turns east onto 10th Street and follows 10th Street to the Charles Allen Gate entrance of Piedmont Park, where the parade officially ends.

48 Pride Pullout September 30, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

ATLANTA PRIDE AARP Georgia partners with Atlanta Pride to host second annual Gray Pride Popular programming piece has number of activities, entertainment lined up

By PATRICK SAUNDERS psaunders@thegavoice.com The Atlanta Pride Committee’s goal is to have a little something for everyone every year at Pride, and as part of that ongoing mission they, in partnership with AARP Georgia, are bringing back a popular programming piece from last year called Gray Pride.

“We conduct a semi-annual survey of festival attendees, and we noticed that older adults were underrepresented as attendees,” says Jamie Fergerson, executive director of the Atlanta Pride Committee. “We started thinking about and talking to community groups about how we could make the festival more accessible and welcoming to elders.

When AARP offered to sponsor and partner with us on Gray Pride, we happily took them up on it.”

Gray Pride is catered to Atlanta’s LGBT 50-plus population and takes place throughout Pride weekend at the Piedmont Park Visitor Center. It includes a storycollecting site, historical display and special prizes among many other things.

Idea originated in San Francisco The idea for Gray Pride came from a similar programming piece put on by San Francisco Pride, says Hillary Thomas, AARP Georgia’s program specialist for community outreach. Thomas’s main job responsibility is outreach to Atlanta’s LGBT community, and the idea came to her attention in 2014 after networking with a number of local LGBT groups, including SAGE, Atlanta PrimeTimers and The Health Initiative.

“I said, ‘Well if it’s gray, then I think AARP will be a great fit,’” she tells the Georgia Voice.

She started having meetings with the Atlanta Pride Committee about it, and with enough room in her budget the following year, Gray Pride came to Georgia. It was a hit, with AARP Georgia offering music acts, spoken word performances, line dancing, caregiving conversations, a display of the

Gray Pride will take place at the Piedmont Park Visitor Center through Atlanta Pride weekend Oct. 8-9. (Stock photo)

“When you think about the sacrifices and the lives that these people have lived, I think that we should have some way of honoring them at every celebration and having a special place for them.”

—Hillary Thomas, AARP Georgia program specialist for community outreach timeline of Atlanta Pride history and more.

But for many, it was just nice having a cooling off area to get away from the crowds.

“We were told by several people from several of the groups that I worked with that what a lot of what the older adults would like is just a place to sit down that’s not in a folding chair, that’s not in the middle of the park,” Thomas says.

They’ll be bringing back the Atlanta Pride timeline this year, along with snacks, a meet-up space for LGBT senior groups, a DJ and prize giveaways. Plus, this year AARP’s national office is sending a team in to do a photo booth pop-up to give people some-

thing to remember the weekend by.

Having fun and honoring the trailblazers For Thomas, who says this is the biggest project AARP Georgia has done for the state’s LGBT community, Gray Pride is not only about providing a safe (and fun) space but honoring those who laid the foundation for where we are.

“It’s really important for us to realize that without the sacrifices and contributions of the older adults who were there at the beginning, who were there and can remember Stonewall, or who lost friends during

Details

Gray Pride Saturday, Oct. 8 – Sunday, Oct. 9 Piedmont Park Visitor Center www.atlantapride.org the AIDS crisis during the ’80s…when you think about the sacrifices and the lives that these people have lived, I think that we should have some way of honoring them at every celebration and having a special place for them.

“And it’s a way of letting the younger generation have a time to talk or meet with or see a lot of people that they may or may not see in their regular interactions, because these are the people who made it possible for everybody to be out and be in with mainstream society as opposed to having to feel sheltered or be in a segmented part of society.”

50 Pride Pullout September 30, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

ATLANTA PRIDE

BY THE NUMBERS

2

12

Number of stages that acts will be performing on in Piedmont Park

Number of grand marshals in Sunday’s parade

20 Number of acts performing in Piedmont Park

5,000 Number of people participating

during Atlanta Pride Weekend

202

Number of vendors who will have booths in the park throughout the weekend

in Sunday’s parade

8

Hours to complete the Atlanta Pride Parade from setup to cleanup

1

Hour to walk the entire parade route.

0

Number of pets allowed in the park during Atlanta Pride (except for service animals)

250,000

Estimated total attendance at Atlanta Pride

52 Pride Pullout September 30, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

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JODY WATLEY

RELOADED Grammy-winning R&B singer on new band, life lessons and headlining Atlanta Pride

By SHANNON HAMES Jody Watley is a name that first emerged with the 1980s band Shalamar. She hit her stride when she began her solo career in 1987 and won a Grammy for Best New Artist. In 2008, she won Billboard Magazine’s Lifetime Achievement Award. Now, with her new band Shalamar Reloaded, she is set to headline Atlanta Pride on Oct. 8. We caught up with Watley to talk to her about her new band, a book that changed her life and her ideas about changing the way we treat each other.

Georgia Voice: You’re now touring with Shalamar Reloaded but you’ve received heat for not reuniting with your old bandmates in Shalamar. In response, you wrote a very empowering open letter explaining why you won’t be reuniting.

Watley: Yes – I wrote it because former members put lies out about me. One of the unfortunate things in our society today is the lack of follow-up or factchecking. Things can be said on television or radio CONTINUES ON PAGE 64

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By JIM FARMER

Heads will roll with return of ‘Sleepy Hollow’ to Serenbe What started out as an experiment of sorts has now grown into one of the top five Halloween plays in the country. Openly gay Serenbe Playhouse founder and artistic director Brian Clowdus’ “The Sleepy Hollow Experience,” the spooky tale of Ichabod Crane and the Headless Horseman, is back for the fourth year for another fall run. This time the show has been tweaked a bit. We caught up with Clowdus recently to give us the lowdown on the 2016 version.

Hello Brian. Tell us about the idea to stage “Sleepy Hollow” at Serenbe.

It came on the heels of “Hair.” For the first four years we were just a summer theater. After the success of “Hair,” we asked how we could keep the momentum going.

We thought a fall production would be a fun addition. I tried to think of something cool to do at Serenbe. I looked at the stables here.

The Headless Horseman came to mind and that is how “Sleepy Hollow” was birthed. We thought we’d do it and see how it went. It literally sold out before we even opened. We knew we had to make it good. We included live horses and all the actors playing instruments. It felt old world meets modern world.

What’s new this season?

The stables are great but there are only so many people you can fit in a stable. Last year, we moved it into an open field venue.

Adam Koch designed a set in a field and came up with a skeleton version of the town.

This year I am using a new script which I have adapted. The script uses new music and it becomes our version. I have the rights to the script. Now I can tweak it in any way.

I am also going to be doing it in Massachusetts, but every version will be unique.

Why has the story held up?

People ask that all the time. There is something about the legend that transcends all ages.

It really is the most iconic Halloween story of all time. For visuals, the visual of a Headless Horseman looking for a head is pretty terrifying and iconic. There are so many versions, films and cartoons, a TV show. It’s scary but not gory scary. Everyone has their own version. It’s become part of Halloween.

“The Sleep Hollow Experience” is playing at Serenbe Playhouse through Nov. 6.

(Publicity photo)

Details

‘The Sleepy Hollow Experience’ Serenbe Playhouse 10950 Hutchesons Ferry Road Chattahoochee Hills, GA 30268 Through Nov. 6 www.serenbeplayhouse.com What are your crowds like?

Very diverse. Our audiences do skew younger for shows where you are on your feet. This is a mix of theatergoers, people who go to haunted houses and the typical Serenbe audience coming for the experience.

People become immersed in the environment and they tend to come every year because it’s now part of their tradition. We are seeing new people come as well.

Are most people familiar with the story?

I think people have an understanding of what it is. What’s interesting here is that you get some background story. Like, where did Ichabod come from? How did the town get its name? I think people enjoy that.

What is the gay appeal?

I feel like Halloween has almost become a gay holiday. The holidays the gays have embraced. We see so many LGBT audience members, especially for these immersive shows. This show celebrates the fall, and Halloween. There is plenty of great eye candy in the show too.

That should get people in the door.

60 A&E September 30, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

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EATING MY WORDS

By CLIFF BOSTOCK

In search of the Atlanta’s best soup dumplings Atlanta foodies have been foraging for Chinese soup buns, slightly doughy dumplings called “xiaolongbao” on Buford Highway for years. Shaped somewhat like the swirly dome of a Russian minaret, a well-prepared soup dumpling is so richly comforting that it evokes homey fantasies of a better world, a world where Donald Trump is waterboarded until he admits that his penis is smaller than he bragged and we impeach him.

The latest place to gorge on xiaolongbao is Yong He Zhi Jia, which translates roughly as “Taiwan Special.” You’ll find it at 4897 Buford Hwy. (470-299-8929), at the end of a shopping center near Chamblee Tucker Road. Warning: At this writing, the restaurant had not removed the former tenant’s sign. So look for blazing yellow letters that read “Golden BBQ.” Yong He Zhi Jia’s soup dumplings are served in large bamboo baskets of eight.

I think part of their huge initial appeal to Americans has been the element of childlike surprise they evoke. If you hear the term “soup dumpling,” you of course imagine a dumpling afloat in soup. But this reverses that. You bite into the tender exterior of the soup bun and there’s an explosion of broth in which a tiny pork meatball of sorts has been floating. You suck the whole tender, juicy thing into your mouth and chew. It’s crazy and it’s messy-delicious. You feel like a kid who just discovered the cream inside a Twinkie. And you want more!

Of course, everyone wonders how you get soup inside a dumpling. One imagines a cook injecting the broth with a syringe. But the usual deal is that the pork filling is surrounded by a congealed lump of broth when it’s wrapped in the outer skin. Thus, when the dumpling is steamed, it melts into liquid.

There are many other dumplings/buns on the restaurant’s menu and, in truth, my favorite was the over-sized pan-fried pork bun. It’s steamed but also fried quickly on one side to supply the burnished crunch of a pot sticker. My table of five ordered two servings of these.

The pan-fried pork bun is a favorite at Yong He Zhi Lia. (Photo by Cliff Bostock)

Another favorite for me was the beef pancake. It’s a thick serving of shredded pot roast between two layers of a mysterious, almost crumbly and slightly sweet bread. Think cornbread. The egg and green onion cake was a delicious accompaniment to another must-order – the beef-noodle soup. I know.

It sounds bland and uninteresting, but I promise you that it’s without equal around town. The broth is dense and deeply, deeply flavored. It’s not overly-salty. It’s full of thick noodles and multiple slices of braised beef.

The temptations are endless and you should feel free to experiment. The restaurant is ridiculously inexpensive and portions are gigantic. My friends and I left our table literally blanketed with empty dishes and a bill of $12 each.

Service at the restaurant was great the evening of my visit, but I’ll warn you that English is a very second language here. You’ll need to be at least as patient as the server is.

Be glad that the menu is illustrated. But know that some things are inscrutable. How, for example, does goat tripe soup end up on the “health food” section of the menu? Actually, that probably makes more sense than calling a man with bowels for brains president.

Cliff Bostock is a former psychotherapist now specializing in life coaching. Contact him at 404-518-4415 or cliffbostock@gmail.com.

62 Columnists September 30, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 57 by one party and the other person isn’t even asked to weigh in on their perspective. That’s why I felt like I had to write the letter and show proof to defend myself.

ow Buy n ets ick s for t

Now you tour with Shalamar Reloaded?

Shalamar Reloaded started with me and Rosero McCoy, a renowned choreographer for many years. We auditioned hundreds of guys and chose Nate Allen Smith. He came out to Los Angeles to pursue his dream.

He’s an incredible vocalist, dancer and all-around performer. We’ve been touring the world.

We’re about to release our third single and video, “The Move”, which will come out just before Atlanta Pride. We know that before we play a Pride show, we better be ready to bring it and work it!

a as low

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Series on the Alliance Stage

Photo by Liz Lauren.

64 A&E September 30, 2016

You mentioned in your open letter the Don Miguel Ruiz book, “The Four Agreements”. It seems to have impacted your beliefs in a strong way. How has it shaped your journey?

It was first given to me about 20 years ago by a publicist friend of mine. He told me it would change my life. I read it and thought it was so profound. They are simple things and sometimes the simplest can be the most difficult. I give that book as gifts to people and everyone is always so impacted by it.

One of the agreements is “don’t take things personally”. The book taught me that these people who said bad things about me were trying to give me their poison because they don’t feel good about themselves. As a result, I don’t take it personally. I’ve tweeted out quotes from the book – it’s a very positive message to pass along to others.

You wrote that people in the AfricanAmerican community have said you weren’t a true soul artist or R&B artist or you weren’t black enough or gospel enough or ratchet enough. Sometimes, in the LGBT community, we do the same thing to each other. Why do you think that groups who already feel marginalized tear each other down and what can we do to stop it?

That’s a great question. I’ve had those discussions with friends of mine in the gay community. They’ve said everything you just said and they feel bad about it. I wrote a song in ’95, “Affection”. It went “Doesn’t matter if you’re young or old. Doesn’t matter if you’re straight or gay. Everybody needs to feel loved.”

Details Jody Watley

with Shalamar Reloaded Saturday, Oct. 8 at 8:35 p.m.

Coca-Cola Main Stage at Atlanta Pride Piedmont Park www.atlantapride.org I know it sounds simplistic but those simple things are often the most difficult for some people. We need to step back and ask why is it that you feel that someone is not (whatever) enough for you? What is that within you that makes you project out on to someone else? Someone who is basically just living their life in their own truth and their own path? Why does this become upsetting for others?

It’s often someone else’s insecurities or resentments. Some people just don’t like to see others happy, secure or embracing themselves no matter what or who they are. They don’t like the joy that comes with that inner freedom because they are, within themselves, miserable. They can’t rise up to living their own truth with confidence. The solution is for people to stop being so judgmental and stop putting people in boxes that they think others should be in.

Your accomplishments are endless.

You’ve received awards, accolades, you’ve performed everywhere, you’ve acted, you’ve been a model, a writer, a businesswoman… the list goes on. What accomplishment are you the proudest of?

Being a grounded person that is still enthusiastic about being in this often cutthroat business. I was talking to Rosero today. He works with the young singer Keke Palmer and she just released a video and she was talking to him and said, “This business is a motherfucker!” (laughs) To be a strong person and to keep it moving and not get beat up or self-destructive and let your insecurities or doubts or public opinion or popularity spikes or dips get to you – I think that this is a great achievement.

I’m proud of everything. I just do me. If people love it, great. If not, it’s still cool because I’m still doing me.

What do you want to tell Atlanta’s LGBT community?

My message is all about love. It doesn’t matter who you are. No matter what, let’s love each other a lot more. Touching upon what you said earlier about us being divided sometimes, let’s love each other more and be fabulous while we’re doing it. www.thegeorgiavoice.com

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Out On Film closing out 29th annual LGBT film festival with ‘Other People’ Film’s writer-director on Oscar buzz, being first openly gay head writer of ‘SNL’

By J. MATTHEW COBB The meteoric rise of Chris Kelly has astounded a host of entertainment observers and critics. He’s gone from being a writer for the since-cancelled satirical news show “The Onion News Network” to sitting at the drawing board of Lorne Michaels’ late night behemoth “Saturday Night Live,” giving life to timeless sketches like The Beygency and the hilarious US presidential debate cold opens.

Just last month, Kelly was promoted to the post of co-head writer for “SNL,” making him the first openly gay head writer behind one of the mightiest bastions in comedy.

The 33-year-old Sacramento, Calif. screenwriter is also making a big splash in the world of cinema with his directorial debut “Other People.” Starring “SNL” alum Molly Shannon and Jesse Plemons, this dramedy, which premiered at this year’s Sundance Film Festival, is loosely based on Kelly and his late mother — and it is wowing critics and film lovers alike. Shannon is also being lauded for her performance as Joanne, a wife and mother of three suffering from cancer.

There’s already plenty of rumblings out there of her potentially landing on the short list of Oscar nods.

Atlanta will get its chance to see the acclaimed film at the 29th annual Out On Film Festival, where programmers have selected it as the Oct. 6 closing night film. In my conversation with the talented writer/director, we discuss his new post at “SNL,” the making of “Other People” and the importance of LGBT film festivals like Out On Film.

You along with your writing partner Sarah Schneider were promoted just a month ago to being co-head writers on

“People have asked me this before: Was this cathartic? And I don’t personally feel like I had demons that I needed to get under control by writing this movie (laughs). Obviously there were a lot of hard days on the set while recreating some of the sadder moments of that experience, but it was sort of nice and lovely.”

— Writer-director Chris Kelly on loosely basing his debut feature film “Other People” on him and his mother

“SNL,” making you the first ever openly gay writer to be in that post. How excited are you about that?

It’s exciting to be the head writer and it is a huge compliment. I know I wanna do a good job personally and for Lorne [Michaels] and the show, so it’s a huge honor and I’m very flattered and excited. I hope I’ll do a good job.

“Other People” premiered at Sundance, a feat that’s almost impossible for most firsttime film directors. Were you at all surprised by it being picked up by Sundance?

Oh yeah! I had no expectations. It was a huge surprise. When I wrote the script four or five years ago, I never had any intention that it would get made, so every step of the process was very exciting. The very fact that actors were gonna do it, and then producers got on board, and we got to shoot it, and then it turned out well, and then Sundance — every step was such a huge, cool surprise.

A lot of people are already talking about Molly Shannon being an Oscar contender.

What are your thoughts on that?

All of the attention and the write-ups she’s been getting for her performance are so lovely,

“Other People,” starring Jesse Plemons and Molly Shannon, closes the Out On Film festival on Thursday, Oct. 6. (Courtesy photo)

because she’s incredible. I knew from day one... that she was going to give an incredible performance. And so it’s so cool now for other people to be seeing her and in that sense, agreeing.

What prompted you to write a screenplay loosely based on you and your mother?

The best way to put it is it’s not 100 percent autobiographical, by any means.

Basically, the core of the movie is about my mother and the time I spent with her. When I wrote the script, I reflected back on that time and I wasn’t trying to do a scene-byscene re-creation that year. There are some things that are true-ish and there are some things that are fully made up. So I think people should look at the movie less as a documentary about my life and more of a fictional version of some true things about my mom and what she taught me.

How difficult was it for you to blend comedy and this level of drama together for the feature?

It wasn’t too hard, just that I was writing from what I know and writing from a personal experience of being home with my mom. My mom was funny, so was my family, and a lot about that year was funny. It wasn’t sad 24-7.

Reliving your mom’s passing while writing, directing and shooting this film,

Details Out On Film presents

‘Other People’ Thursday, Oct. 6 at 8:30 p.m.

Landmark Midtown Art Cinema www.outonfilm.org was this like a moment of emotional healing for you?

I guess the answer is yes and no. People have asked me this before: Was this cathartic? And I don’t personally feel like I had demons that I needed to get under control by writing this movie (laughs). Obviously there were a lot of hard days on the set while recreating some of the sadder moments of that experience, but it was sort of nice and lovely.

The cast was so great, the crew and my producers were so supportive. It was a nice way to remember my mom and to put some of the things she taught me on screen.

How important is it for LGBT film festivals like Out On Film to exist today?

I think it’s incredibly important. Just the very fact that they showcase stories that may not be showcased otherwise. Obviously there are some LGBT movies that also play at non-LGBT-centric film festivals, but the more, the better. We need more stories and more storytelling. There’s also a nice sense of community.

66 A&E September 30, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

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SATURDAY, OCT. 1

Out On Film continues its 29th annual LGBTQ film festival with Georgia Voice day, featuring the likes of Anthony Rapp and Jonathan Bennett in “Do You Take This Man,” three programs of short films, the ball scene documentary “Kiki” and a retrospective screening of “It’s My Party,” through Oct. 6, Midtown Art Cinema, www.outonfilm.org (Publicity photo)

FRIDAY, SEPT. 30 – OCT. 2

Twenty-two of the nation’s top ceramic artists and 1500 pieces of pottery and sculpture will be on tap at the third annual Design + Crafted Ceramics Pop-Up Sale and Exhibition, 6:30 – 9 p.m. on Friday, which is a fundraiser for Atlanta Contemporary, 10 a.m. – 6 p.m.

Saturday, and 10 a.m. – 4 p.m. Sunday, The Signature Shop & Gallery, 3267 Roswell Road NW, Atlanta, GA 30305

ful advice and plenty of laughs in Wolf’s book, a compilation of the wildly popular webcomic Kimchi Cuddles.

“When Someone You Love is Polyamorous” is the quick and easy guide to answer questions you might have when first embarking on a new relationship with a poly person or your friends and family might have as you share your life with them. $5 suggested donation, 7:30 p.m., www. charisbooksandmore.com

FRIDAY, SEPT. 30

SATURDAY, OCT. 1

Join Charis in welcoming authors Tikva Wolf (“Ask Me About Polyamory”) and Elisabeth Scheff (“When Someone You Love is Polyamorous”) to celebrate their new books. If your relationships or your gender are unconventional, you’ll find use-

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The 1st Annual LGBTQA Wedding Expo takes places at the Emory Hotel today. This is a safe space for LGBTQQ couples and allies to choose businesses for that special day. 12 – 5 p.m., www.facebook.com/events/165601987183974/

Enjoy a day of fun at the Gentlemen’s Foundation Field Day & Day Party, from 1 – 7 p.m., Phoenix III Park, 161 Georgia Ave. SE, Atlanta, GA 30312, www. facebook.com/events/200488577036940 Join Voices of Note at Encore 2016 as its previews its 36th season with an evening of engaging performances, delicious food, delectable drinks and a silent auction. This popular catered auction, which includes an open bar, includes performances from select ensembles.

Tickets are $100 and all proceeds benefit the Atlanta Gay Men’s Chorus and the Atlanta Women’s Chorus. 7 p.m., Historic Academy of Medicine at Georgia Tech, 875 W. Peachtree St., NW, Atlanta, GA 30309

SUNDAY, OCT. 2

Dee Martello, aka Twisted Dee, spins at Xion at 3 a.m., www.facebook.com/ events/266749227034564/ Pale Clear, who have performed at Atlanta Pride before and have several LGBT band members, perform at Eddie’s Attic.

Doors open at 5:30 p.m. and the show begins at 6 p.m., www.eddiesattic.com

MONDAY, OCT. 3

The PFLAG support group for parents and families of LGBTQ children meets from 7:30 - 9 p.m. tonight at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Atlanta, www.uuca.org

CONTINUES ON PAGE 70 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

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All performances live with Atlanta Ballet Orchestra

December 9 – 24, 2016 at the Fox Theatre

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Mayor’s Office of Cultural Affairs

FRIDAY, OCT. 7

The Official Atlanta Pride Kick Off Party starts the festival off tonight. For the eighth year, the Georgia Aquarium hosts the sure-to-be-crowded event, 7 – 11 p.m., www.georgiaaquarium.org/convention/atlantapride (File photo)

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 68

TUESDAY, OCT. 4

Latino LinQ will host a free public screening of “Before God, We Are All Family,” produced by the Human Rights Campaign. A reception will start at 6 p.m., followed by the film and a brief panel discussion, Latin American Association, 2750 Buford Hwy, Atlanta, GA 30324

All Saints Episcopal Church, 634 West Peachtree St., NW, Atlanta, GA 30308

Join Angelica and Malibu for The AM Show, 10:30 p.m., Burkhart’s, www.burkharts.com

Building on the activist tradition of consciousness-raising groups, each month Charis invites community members to join The Personal is Political: A Feminist Vent, a lightly facilitated group to talk about issues in their personal lives or in society as a whole they are trying to process or deconstruct. The group will then use intersectional feminist strategies as tools to help talk through these issues. People of all genders, levels of political experience and education are welcome. 7:30 – 9 p.m., www.charisbooksandmore.com

THURSDAY, OCT. 6

FRIDAY, OCT. 7

WEDNESDAY, OCT. 5

SAGE Atlanta’s social hour begins at 10 a.m., followed by a program/meeting at 11 a.m., Phillip Rush Center Annex, www.rushcenteratl.org Integrity Atlanta’s 28th annual Gay Pride Eucharist is tonight. The Rt Reverend Keith Whitmore, Assistant Bishop of Atlanta, will preside. The Reverend Gwen Fry, Vice President for National Affairs for Integrity USA, will preside. The service is open to everyone. 7:30 p.m.,

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Beginning tonight, arts patrons will have a new option to kick off the weekend with First Fridays, which will feature combinations of music, art-making workshops, performances, films, artist talks and more on the first Friday of every month from 6 to 9 p.m. Part art party, part happy hour, the evenings will also feature drinks and light bites for purchase. High Museum of Art, www.high.org Sketchworks Comedy, Atlanta’s award-

winning sketch comedy troupe, presents Heels - Hilariously Entertaining Electric Lady Squad, an all-new live sketch comedy show featuring some of Atlanta’s funniest women. It’s directed by Casey Holloway and stars Jean Alexander, Bonita Elery, Abbey Finch, Ashlee Heath, Tian Li, Maria Liatis, Crystal Lo, Summer McCusker, and Julie Shaer. Performances are Friday and Saturday nights at 9 p.m. through Oct. 8 at the Village Theatre, www.facebook. com/events/1723878531086888/ Join My Sister’s Room for the Atlanta Pride Glow Hookup Party tonight.

Hundreds of the sexiest ladies in the community will help the bar celebrate being the longest running lesbian bar in the Southeast.

In addition to promotions and giveaways, two DJs will spin – DJ Rapko from 9 p.m.

- 3 a.m. upstairs and DJ Liz Owen from 11 p.m. – 3 a.m. on the main level. The Maria Gabriella Band will play on the main level from 9:30 – 11 p.m. and the Belles of Burlesque Show will take place upstairs at 11 p.m. Tickets are $10 for general admission to the main level or front patio and $20 to all levels. www.mysistersroom.com

CONTINUES ON PAGE 72

EVENT SPOTLIGHT TUESDAY, OCT. 4

J’s Lounge is the home for Rainbow Tuesdays, with Dymond Onasis, above, and Nicole Paige Brooks leading the fun and DJ Destin providing house music, 1995 Windy Hill Road #1, Smyrna, GA 30080 (Photo via Facebook)

www.thegeorgiavoice.com

SATURDAY, OCT. 8 – SUNDAY, OCT. 9

The largest event of its kind in the Southeast, Atlanta Pride presents its annual two-day, jam-packed celebration in the park, culminating in the traditional parade on Sunday, www.atlantapride.org (File photo)

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 70

SATURDAY, OCT. 8

WORK Are you a Georgia business owner or run an LGBTfriendly business? Were you recently promoted or made a big career change? We’d like to brag about you in our new business section Work It! Send all tips to editor@thegavoice.com

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The 3rd annual #TRANSFitCon Bodybuilding Competition Show is back, bigger than ever, with judges Bucky Motter, Shawn Stinson, Paulo Batista, Ramada Plaza Capitol Park Hotel, Piedmont Ballroom, 450 Capital Ave. SE, Atlanta, GA, 30312, www.transfitcon.com

SUNDAY, OCT. 9

Wrap up Pride weekend at Woofs with $5 Smirnoff vodka beginning at 6 p.m., with all sorts of promotions and giveaways, www.woofsatlanta.com

MONDAY, OCT. 10

Project Love ATL, created by Atlanta Ballet Company dancer Alessa Rogers, showcases Atlanta’s best artists to support a local cause.

This year’s unique collaborative performance will benefit Lost-n-Found Youth and the show will celebrate a diverse mix of the best of Atlanta’s music, theater, dance and visual arts coming together for one evening to support Alanta’s homeless LGBT youth.

This year’s artists include Jericho Brown and Theresa Davis, 7:30 p.m. tonight at Park Tavern, www.projectloveatl.com/index.html

CONTINUES ON PAGE 74 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

ATLANTA PRIDE 2016

TALENT OCT. 8-9, 2016 | PIEDMONT PARK INCLUDING:

JODY WATLEY & SHALAMAR RELOADED ZARA LARSSON | KIIARA NINA SKY | THE MAD VIOLINIST STARLIGHT CABARET | JD SAMSON DEVEN GREEN | ERICA DAWSON EXCLUSIVE MICHEL J JONS | DJ CITIZEN JANE

www.thegeorgiavoice.com

For the full talent line-up and schedule, please visit atlantapride.org/ entertainment

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CONTINUED FROM PAGE 72 The Stars of the Century show, led

by Natasha Dupree, features some of the best drag in the Southeast. Doors open at 10:30 p.m. Jungle Atlanta, www.jungleatl.com

TUESDAY, OCT. 11

Play Let’s Make a Deal with Ken tonight from 6 – 10 p.m. at Friends on Ponce, www.friendsonponce-atl.com

WEDNESDAY, OCT. 12

Ruby Redd’s riotous Birdcage Bingo begins at 8:30 p.m. tonight, with all sorts of drag performances by local entertainers.

Proceeds benefit Atlanta charities.

No cover, www.atlantahideaway.com Enjoy free pool and rotating DJs at Bulldogs, 893 Peachtree St., Atlanta, GA 30309

THURSDAY, OCT. 13 – FRIDAY, OCT. 21

This year’s ELEVATE public art festival will feature work by some Atlanta’s most interesting and thought-provoking artists. Adding international flavor to the festival, FranceAtlanta is partnering with the City of Atlanta Mayor’s Office of Cultural Affairs to bring in some special guests. French choreographer and dancer Noé Soulier will perform with his troupe on Saturday, Oct. 15 at 5 p.m. Throughout the festival there will an exhibition entitled “The Art of Democracy” which will include work by Cartooning for

Peace cartoonists Jean “Plantu” Plantureux and Michel Kichka, along with Atlanta’s Mike Luckovich. The festival will take place primarily on Broad Street, in Atlanta’s emerging cultural district downtown. www.ocaatlanta.com/?programs=elevate

THURSDAY, OCT. 13

The Pretty Girl Hideout Thursdays is tonight, hosted by Mook Dahost, Soul Bar at Pal’s Lounge, 254 Auburn Ave., Atlanta, GA 30303, www.traxxgirls.com

UPCOMING SUNDAY, OCT. 16

The annual AIDS Walk Atlanta & 5K Run kicks off today. Now commemorating 26 years of walking and running, the event continues to raise much-needed funds for AIDS service organizations in the metroAtlanta area. These organizations provide essential programs and services for men, women, and children who are infected with or affected by HIV/AIDS. The run and walk begins at 1 p.m. and winds up in Piedmont Park, www.aidswalkatlanta.com/ AIDSWalkAtlantaHome

THURSDAY, OCT. 20

Out Front Theatre company, dedicated to producing LGBT-themed theatrical work, opens “Priscilla, Queen of the Desert: The Musical,” based on the cult classic movie about drag queens Tick, Bernadette and Adam, 8 p.m., through Nov. 6, www.OutFrontTheatre.com

WEDNESDAY, OCT. 26

The 2016 GLAAD Atlanta event, a celebration of national and local leaders accelerating LGBT acceptance through the media, will take place tonight. Guests will enjoy a cocktail reception with great drinks, fabulous food, a silent auction, performances by Ty Herndon and others. Radio personality Melissa Carter will be the Master of Ceremonies, 6 – 9 p.m., Atlanta History Center, www.facebook. com/events/1069875913060408/

TELL US ABOUT YOUR LGBT EVENT Submit your LGBT event for inclusion in our online and print calendars by emailing event info to editor@thegavoice.com 74 Best Bets September 30, 2016

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THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID

By MELISSA CARTER

Football, concussions and protecting Mr. Carter

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You have heard about mothers making sacrifices for their children, and the stories usually include some form of heroics. A woman lifts a car off of her baby or forgoes wearing a coat so her little one can stay warm. Mine is not as dramatic but certainly impactful since it involves letting go of something that has been a large part of my life for quite a while.

I recently watched the movie “Concussion” on cable. Starring Will Smith, the movie tells the story of forensic pathologist Dr. Bennet Omalu and his discovery of chronic traumatic encephalopathy in former NFL players and the dangers of football-related head trauma. It is his work that has inspired modern athletes from a variety of sports to donate their brains upon death to further the research. Normally, I would just view this film as important historical content but now that Mr. Carter is here, I took it deeper than that.

Mr. Carter is just now turning 2 but has already been deemed a tall man. He is expected to be well over 6-feet tall, which means he will likely get the attention of coaches at school. Of course, it is far too soon to determine whether or not my son will even be interested in sports but if what my male friends have said is true it won’t matter. Coaches will approach him anyway and it will rest on him to answer the call. If Mr. Carter doesn’t want to be an athlete, he’ll say no. If he does, he may be willing to try them all. The latter scenario is what I want to make sure I influence in the right way.

I am a proud graduate of the University of Tennessee. While on campus I attended several sporting events, but the majority of my paraphernalia at home represents UT football. From a framed jersey to replicas of football helmets, it is evident that football has long been my favorite sport. Until now.

How can I cheer loudest for the guys at Neyland Stadium in front of my son, yet tell him he is not allowed to play the game?

I am a believer that indirect influence by

“From a framed jersey to replicas of football helmets, it is evident that football has long been my favorite sport. Until now. How can I cheer loudest for the guys at Neyland Stadium in front of my son, yet tell him he is not allowed to play the game?” parents is more effective than directly lecturing to a child, so I have decided that other sports must overtake football as a priority in my house. I took down the framed jersey and donated it to Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta, and will replace it with a Pat Summit tribute. I have purchased more Braves attire and have soccer balls in the house. I will return to the sport I played as a student, tennis, and will make the feel of a hardcourt as familiar to him as it was to me. I will still cheer for my Volunteer football team, but just not as exclusively as before.

I know I am not the only factor in my child’s life, and he will make his own decisions on what his preferences are. As his mother, his safety is supposed to be my top priority, and if I become the mother of an athlete I’d much rather mend a broken leg or busted knee than actively contribute to the destruction of his beautiful mind.

Melissa Carter is one of the Morning Show hosts on B98.5. In addition, she is a writer for the Huffington Post. She is recognized as one of the first out radio personalities in Atlanta and one of the few in the country. Follow her on Twitter@MelissaCarter

78 Columnists September 30, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

OUTSIDE THE BOX

By BILL KAELIN

Pride trumps hate

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I have often said that if the Republican Party would kick the radical Christian right to the curb and truly run on a platform keeping government out of people’s lives including out of our bedrooms and churches, I could maybe see myself voting for one someday. The thought of exercising that right this year however scares the shit out of me as history has shown us that fear will do a lot of fucked up things to a lot of people.

Fear can incite violence against the marginalized and misunderstood. It can cripple people into not living their lives to their fullest potential. It can keep many LGBT people in the closet for years, and this election year it can also surprisingly make some LGBT people vote for the ultimate fearmonger: Donald Trump.

The Log Cabin Republican is somewhat of a gay anomaly. Until the birth of social media, it was one of those things that was mostly kept in the closet and only heard about during casual conversations about one-night stands.

Friends would rehash hookups with conservatives by saying things like,“He was totally cute, sex was just okay, I thought he may have some potential, until I found out he’s a Republican.”

Hearing rumors of gay people actually voting for Donald Trump is sort of like hearing the ultimate of all gay urban legends regarding a certain Hollywood star who loved gerbils. Both stories are terribly hard to believe, yet sadly fetishes with furry friends are way more funny and false than the truthful fact that some LGBT people will actually vote for Trump to be the leader of the free world.

If you are really proud of your community and genuinely care about your own civil rights and the rights of all people, how could you in good conscience vote for a man who has publicly said he would appoint judges that would overturn SCOTUS’ same-sex marriage ruling? How can you get behind someone who just five weeks after the Pulse tragedy had a private meeting with over 400

“During this year’s Pride celebration, it is our responsibility as freedom fighters that we do not forget about everyone else who is still fighting for their own. We have to stand behind all marginalized communities and ultimately protect the rights we have just earned because they can all be taken away with just one Supreme Court nomination.” of the most homophobic, bigoted and powerful anti-LGBT leaders in the country at the scene of the crime? This is a man that said America was going to hell because the NFL defended openly gay player Michael Sam, yet where are people’s outrage that America may be going to hell in a handbasket for possibly electing a man who is a proven lying demagogue?

During this year’s Pride celebration, it is our responsibility as freedom fighters that we do not forget about everyone else who is still fighting for their own. We have to stand behind all marginalized communities and ultimately protect the rights we have just earned because they can all be taken away with just one Supreme Court nomination.

The definition of Pride is having a dignified sense of what is due to oneself, and to have self-respect and self-esteem. This election cycle, if you truly love yourself, please don’t vote for a party who genuinely hates you, because at the end of the day only love can truly trump hate.

Bill Kaelin is the owner of Bill Kaelin Marketing Events and Consulting Agency in Atlanta. www.BillKaelin.com

80 Columnists September 30, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

A MODICUM OF DECORUM

By SHANNON HAMES

Like a warrior Most people have at least one huge fear. A quick Facebook poll of friends yielded fears such as clowns, reptiles, tornadoes, drowning, suffocating, arachnids, failure, heights, loneliness, unemployment, plane crashes, strange men in creepy places, creepy men in strange places, and a Trump presidency.

I asked my friends because I wanted to see if anyone was like me. My greatest fear has always been losing my father.

When I was seven and became aware of what death was, I remember asking my dad to promise me he wouldn’t die. The idea that my first and best friend might die terrified me. Since he was my first and best friend and the only loving, accepting, stable parent I had, he was my everything.

Dad was a warrior. He took amazing care of himself. He lived clean and had the most self-discipline of anyone I ever met. He ran marathons. He had a Doctorate in Law. After he retired from the Veteran’s Administration working to help vets get benefits, he became a personal trainer to help others move toward health.

It came as a terrible shock to my entire family when, three years ago, he was diagnosed with a Glioblastoma Stage 4 brain tumor. I remember walking into that intensive care room where he was and crying to him, “Daddy, please don’t leave me.” Both of our hearts were breaking and I was positive that I would die with him. They gave him three months.

My warrior father lived a few days short of the three-YEAR anniversary of his diagnosis.

Most of that time was quality time. We had celebrations, graduations and vacations together.

When I found this past January that his cancer was back and spreading, I braced myself for our mutual death. I desperately clung to family, friends, exes, anyone that I thought might be there to save me when that time came.

The day before he died, I went to see him.

I held his trembling hand. I put it to my lips and kissed it. I spoke to him softly and stared into his eyes looking for any sign that he was

“The day before he died, I went to see him. I held his trembling hand. I put it to my lips and kissed it. I spoke to him softly and stared into his eyes looking for any sign that he was still in there. I saw nothing but the need for him to transition. I also did the unthinkable: I silently released all of my claims on him.” still in there. I saw nothing but the need for him to transition. I also did the unthinkable: I silently released all of my claims on him.

The next morning, Mom called me to tell me that he left during the night. I laid with his body, crying my final tears into his chest before a military escort came to take him. I went home and holed up in my bedroom with my dogs and two adult kids. We bingewatched “Stranger Things” on Netflix all day.

The next morning, I woke up and realized that I made it through my first 24 hours without my dad - I didn’t die without him! I didn’t need anyone to help me get through that. I slept alone – I had no partner or girlfriend to hold me through the night or offer me words of comfort.

The love and nurturing I had counted on had been starkly absent. Yet I survived and thrived.

The people that I had been clinging to for support when that terrible moment came had been removed from my life in order for me to see that I never needed them to begin with. My lesson: everything I need in my life is within me. My dad put it all there before he left. When I feel beaten down by life, his warrior blood in me allows me to rise, shake it off and move forward just like he always did.

I got this, Dad. Shannon Hames is a mom, writer, realtor, volunteer, rocker chick, world traveler, and ’80s hair band aficionado. She loves babies, observing people, reading great books and taking hot baths. She has been writing for Georgia Voice since 2010.

82 Columnists September 30, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

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SOMETIMES ‘Y’

By RYAN LEE

Wandering into gunclehood People have started asking me, “Is that your son?” and a part of me wants to reply, “No, I’m his gay uncle.” But “gay uncle” sounds like whimsically created family rather than biological kin, or like I’m training my nephew to walk the runway in a house ball.

So I simply say, “No, I’m his uncle,” although that doesn’t precisely describe our relationship since mid-August. The most accurate term is temporary guardian, which lacks the familial warmth of uncle but evokes the parental responsibility I feel, and now legally have, toward my youngest nephew, who turned 7 last month.

My 21-year-old nephew brought his younger brother down to Atlanta in August with little understanding of what is required to relocate a minor child. Despite my initial frustration with my older nephew’s haphazard strategy, it was inarguable that it was better for the 7-year-old to be in Atlanta than on the South Side of Chicago.

Our family agreed that I would assume legal guardianship, which while technically temporary, feels indefinite. There’s a lot of adjustments and challenges that arise from suddenly transitioning from a club regular to a custodial caregiver, one of which is finding terminology that is succinctly accurate, while matching the choppy emotions I’ve felt during our transition.

While I certainly have parental sentiments, I am not his parent and he is not my son. Most obviously because he has parents, and he is their son. Neither of them can currently provide an environment that is safe and conducive to healthy development, but that doesn’t diminish the love and bond they will share with their son forever.

Secondly, I have done nothing to earn calling myself a parent. Adorable as my nephew looked on his first day of school and on Picture Day, I don’t think I qualify yet for participation in such proud-parent posts on social media.

I’m doing my best impersonation of parenthood, and am still enjoying the benefits www.thegeorgiavoice.com

“But I am not just an uncle; I am a gay uncle, and was genuinely touched when my sister said that she and my nephew’s father believe the best place for my nephew to come of age, to learn about manhood, is under my ward.” of being an uncle – a relationship that, thus far in my nephew’s life, has meant better fun and more treats than he receives at home. It’s been difficult on both of us when I’ve had to show a sterner, more parental side of my personality, and he’s already testing my moral opposition to spanking children.

But I am not just an uncle; I am a gay uncle, and was genuinely touched when my sister said that she and my nephew’s father believe the best place for my nephew to come of age, to learn about manhood, is under my ward.

I was in no way expecting or preparing for parenthood, but rather a gay man reveling in a stereotypically single life. There is an innate selfishness in being an unpartnered, childless 30-something, a selfishness that I cherish and already miss.

But it’s encouraging to know that a healthy awareness and attention to maximizing one’s own pleasure and contentment does not mean that I and other LGBT people are the self-centered caricatures that we are portrayed as by critics. It’s humbling to join a legacy of LGBT aunts and uncle who have nurtured the next generation of their families, and gives me a new, unexpected source of pride.

Ryan Lee is an Atlanta writer.

September 30, 2016 Columnists 85

What is Out on Film?

Out on Film is Atlanta’s own LGBT film festival. We’re in our 29th season. Out on Film was created in 1987 to inform, entertain, educate and enrich the regional LGBT community by recognizing the creative work of LGBT artists and professionals.

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Atlanta’s LGBT Film Festival Celebrating Pride at the Movies

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404-248-1888

www.STIVERSATLANTASUBARU.com all Prices Plus taX, tag and include $499 dealer doc fee with aPProved credit. Prices good until oct 15th 2016.

Pictures may not rePrsent actual vehicle, not resPonsible for errors or ommissions.

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