02/15/19, Vol. 9 Issue 26

Tchaikovsky

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EDITORIAL

Editor: Patrick Colson-Price pcolson-price@thegavoice.com Editorial Contributors: Conswella Bennett, Cliff Bostock, Camryn Burke, Melissa Carter, Aidan Ivory Edwards, Jim Farmer, Morgan Fletcher, Luke Gardner, Elizabeth Hazzard, Ryan Lee, Allison Radomski, Jamie Roberts, Dionne Walker, Craig Washington

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Expiration Date Patrick Colson-Price The conversations always start with “hello” and “where you guys from,” but quickly turn into a picture trading war I get everything from shirtless pics to x-rated dick pics taken from dozens of different angles, and then an assortment of face pics in different settings. For those without Scruff Pro, sending pictures can be a pain in the ass. You first have to go through your photo gallery, find the image you want and continue that process until the guy on the other end gives some type of validation that he’s satisfied with your face, physique or manhood. It’s really come down to a science. I hate having to scroll through more than 2,000 pictures to find the best ones. I just keep it simple and grab my most recent snapshots. While we don’t have the paid version of the app, others do. They’re able to send a dozen pictures at one time. They choose their best images and proceed to create a photo album of themselves in their prime.

In our experience, guys tend to send pictures that closely represent what they currently look like. That’s what we do. For example, I used to be clean-shaven. I believe it would be misleading to share photos of me without a beard or of me, 20 pounds lighter because it’s not what I currently look like. I thought that was how it was supposed to play out on hook-up apps. I’ve never really been catfished or tricked on social media because I’m usually good at identifying those kinds of guys before any meetup takes place.

We’re in a new city, so of course we’re going to explore some. It’s all an adventure, so on our new journey a few weeks ago, we met a guy online and proceeded to meet. The conversation took place, and as I mentioned above, we shared a dozen or so pictures with one another. The interest was there based on what we saw. We were expecting to have a fun time as well as make a new friend in the process.

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About 15 minutes later and a knock at the door, our expectations were quickly shot down when

the guy we’d been chatting with greeted us with a big smile on his face, but that was one of the only similarities we’d seen in his pictures. Shocked and confused, we didn’t say anything and invited him in. We’re not the kind of guys to turn someone away; I just don’t have that in me. For the next 20 minutes, I kept replaying in my head the photos he initially sent us. I’d say the majority of them were taken years ago and it is evident in person.

After he departed, we both agreed. He didn’t look like his pictures at all. It was the same person but in quite a different form. We’re not shallow and probably would’ve been ok with his “current” photos if he’d sent them initially. Like many of us, we expect for someone to present an accurate representation of themselves, ESPECIALLY if we’ll all be hanging out. Look, the guy was very friendly and courteous to both of us. We had no complaints about his attitude or behavior, but go the full mile and be upfront about what you really look like at the moment. It’s just a courteous gesture.

dropping entrance in your apartment, not even those who catfish you.

I end with this: I understand the need to feel accepted in a world where six-packs or muscle bodies dominate every social media app and every magazine cover. I think the majority of us have spent years working on self-esteem issues and essentially just not giving a shit what people think. It’s ok to be rejected. It says nothing about who you are as a person, but the preferences of the person who’s choosing to engage or not. I’ve been rejected by men numerous times, but I accept that I won’t be the ideal guy for everyone. What’s most important is that we stay true to ourselves and stay honest to others around us. Reassurance doesn’t just come in the form of a sexual encounter but through friendship as well.

Maybe there should be an expiration date attached to pictures more than six months old. I get those guys wanting to put their best pictures forward, so they can impress and eventually undress their potential suitors. But let us not lead anyone on just so you can fulfill your own desires.

In the end, we’ll realize you don’t look like your photos and the onset of disappointment will linger over the remnants of a lackluster play session.

This isn’t Facebook where timestamps accompany every picture description.

Scruff indeed isn’t the place to give viewers a deep dive into your life’s past with pictures dated back to when Razr phones and digital cameras with flashes filled profile pictures across Myspace and Facebook. Keep it honest with those you seek to play with. They’ll eventually see the real you, so why not put your honest foot forward and keep it transparent? No one likes a jawFebruary 15, 2019 Editorial 3

NEWS

Atlanta Pride Committee Responds After Churches “Hate Speech” Towards Event Staff Reports Strong Hold Baptist Church, a new church in Metro Atlanta, may soon be added to the Southern Poverty Law Center’s national list of anti-LGBTQ hate groups, reported WSB-TV. Pastor David Berzins told WSB-TV that gay people deserve the death penalty – a statement Heidi Bierich of the Southern Poverty Law Center said could land them on their list of hate groups.

“If an organization is going to advocate for the death penalty for people engaging in same-sex relationships, they are going to make our list,” said Bierich.

Berzins was asked by WSB-TV if he thought of his church as a hate group.

“I don’t think that characterizes us,” he said. “We do have some things we do hate.”

He listed homosexuality, kidnapping, adultery, and bestiality as sins that should be punishable by death.

Berzins gave a sermon about Atlanta’s Pride Parade last October, entitled, “Shame on Atlanta Pride and its Supporters.” The sermon is currently on YouTube.

“Today, apparently, is the sodomite pride parade taking place in Atlanta, in our hometown right now that’s going on,” Berzins said in the sermon. “There are a bunch of pedophiles, perverts, reprobate, wicked, vile people marching up and down the streets of Atlanta.”

“There used to be a time they were in the closet,” the sermon continued. “They need to go back in the closet. They need to be run out, you know, they need to be eradicated.”

The Atlanta Pride Committee (APC) responded to Berzins’ sermon in a statement.

“The Atlanta Pride Committee is saddened 4 News February 15, 2019

Views like the ones “expressed in this video have a detrimental impact on the wellbeing of many LGBTQ individuals and contribute to problems such as the prevalence of queer youth living on the streets, bullying, depression, suicide, and underemployment – especially for the most vulnerable or marginalized LGBTQ people.

”

and repulsed by the content of David Berzins’ video referencing the Atlanta Pride Festival and Parade,” said the statement.

“Atlanta Pride is a 49-year-old observance of the LGBTQ community’s movement towards equal rights, dignity, and wellbeing for all people – values that are not shared in hate speech like that captured in this video.”

– share these views, and we encourage individuals to seek out inclusive communities and services for support as needed.”

“Views like the ones expressed in this video have a detrimental impact on the wellbeing of many LGBTQ individuals and contribute to problems such as the prevalence of queer youth living on the streets, bullying, depression, suicide, and underemployment – especially for the most vulnerable or marginalized LGBTQ people. We recognize that not all faith traditions – including many included in the Atlanta Pride Celebration

“We are further concerned that Berzins was allowed to call for the eradication of members of our community in governmentowned building, a place where all individuals should be safe and free from threat of hate speech,” the committee said.

Berzins gave the sermon in a governmentowned building that the church rented out.

According to the Atlanta Pride Committee, this is concerning.

Berzins was ordained at the Word of Truth Baptist Church in Arizona, whose pastor made headlines in 2009 when he said he

prayed for then-President Barack Obama’s death because he was pro-choice.

Sean Young of the ACLU said that Berzins is able to say these things, as his speech is protected by the First Amendment.

“He’s free to say whatever he wants to say as long as he’s not inciting violence,” Young said. “He is free to assert that his God hates the same people he hates.”

Berzins said that no matter if his church is classified as a hate group or not, it’s not going anywhere.

“No one is gonna be able to prevent me from preaching the word unless they kill me,” he said. www.thegeorgiavoice.com

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NEWS

CROSSFITTER NIKOLE GLAUG PHOTO VIA FACEBOOK

“Don’t Be An Asshole Tour”

Creating Inclusion for Trans Athlete Conswella Bennett A new gym culture shift is on the rise – to stop shaming and to be more welcoming.

The OUT Foundation is taking the message on the road in a national town hall called, “Don’t Be An Asshole” Transgender Education Tour.

Will Lanier, the executive director of the OUT Foundation, says the tour is not just for the greater CrossFit community, but for any fitness organization owners and members to create more inclusive, safe spaces for transgender and gender non-conforming athletes.

“It’s about how not to be an asshole but really to understand where we’re at as a nation and understanding the transgender community is part of that,” Will said.

One local CrossFitter, Nikole Glaug, is excited to attend the event. She learned about the tour from the gym mother at CrossFit Atlanta and got tickets immediately. Glaug recalled her life as Nick – an avid runner and soccer player – a guy’s guy when it came to athletics and working out in public but living a second life behind closed doors. She was no longer comfortable in a male body, so she began transitioning to her true self. However, the once avid runner who could run a 20 minute 5K, couldn’t even run a 10-minute mile when she began hormones.

Depression set in followed by suicidal thoughts.

Then one day while living in Boynton Beach, Florida, Glaug came across a $30 Groupon for a local CrossFit gym.

“That first class sucked so much,” she recalled.

“But not for the reasons you might think.” It wasn’t how she was treated, but the athlete couldn’t manage the AMRAP (as many reps as possible). She found herself going back often, trying to do better than she did in the previous

6 News February 15, 2019

OUT FOUNDATION PANEL COURTESY PHOTO

class. During that time, she was transitioning but hadn’t really made it public. It wasn’t until about six months later that Glaug disclosed that she was transgender. She said, for the most part, everyone was supportive at the gym but there were still several who weren’t as welcoming.

“There are people out there who don’t want us competing or in their spaces,” she said.

“The people who need to hear it probably won’t attend, but those who come, I hope they will disseminate what they learn and share it with other gyms and people.”

The tour is a way to help get gym owners and “members make their spaces more accessible for the members of the transgender community.”

board members and transgender CrossFit athletes, Bennett Kaspar and Chloie Jonsson, will talk about.

Glaug came to Atlanta two years ago. Her hormones began kicking in, and her body started changing. She found her confidence as a Trans woman, but her newest challenge was finding another gym home where she could be comfortable and accepted. CrossFit Atlanta welcomed her with open arms; coaches, owners, and other athletes encouraged her through daily workouts to achieve her goals.

As evidence from the mainstream news media, LGBTQ issues are still prevalent. Jonsson made the news four years ago when she registered for the CrossFit Games Open as a female, Will said.

According to Will, Jonsson informed CrossFit that she was transgender and at that time she was told that she would have to meet in the men’s division. She filed a $2.5 million lawsuit against CrossFit for discrimination. CrossFit later settled the lawsuit and then announced that transgender athletes would be able to compete according to their gender identity.

The message of inclusion is what panelists for the tour including OUT Foundation

“The tour is a way to help get gym owners and members make their spaces more

accessible for the members of the transgender community,” said Jonsson. According to data from their recent tour stops, 65 percent of attendees have been straight allies, 25 percent are from the LGBTQ community, and 10 percent are Trans.

“Trans is beautiful, strong and courageous,” he said. “People should come to support that. We’re humanizing the transgender community, and that’s beautiful.”

The tour will make a stop in Atlanta Saturday, February 16, at CrossFit Downtown Atlanta and Atlanta Barbell. The hour-long meeting will begin at noon. CrossFit Downtown Atlanta and ATL Barbell is located at 215B Chester Ave SE Atlanta, GA. Tickets are available at www.theoutfoundation.org. www.thegeorgiavoice.com

NEWS

Lesbian Retreat

Brings Women of Color Together Dionne N. Walker Growing up in Mississippi, Anondra Williams learned early on to view trees as more than greenery. They served as neighborhood hubs, men and women gathering beneath their shady branches to talk, drink and let go of the long work week.

Decades later, when the Atlanta-based author and poet wanted to create a safe place where lesbians of color could come together, Williams knew she needed build a brand.

“Shades is a home for women of color to come to find themselves, grow, be empowered to seek change, and be in the company of other women who are seeking the same,” said Williams.

Her retreat for LGBTQ women will celebrate its 10th year in April and has grown every year. “Shades Retreat: Personal You: A Southern Retreat for Queer Women of Color” draws in dozens of primarily black women to the woods of Flovilla, Georgia for four days of self-improvement workshops, drumming, networking and generally getting away from it all.

The anniversary is a bittersweet one. This year will be the retreat’s last in Georgia as Williams and her wife prepare to move to Asia and take the event with them. Williams sees it as a new beginning.

“The retreat is growing. It’s evolving along with me,” Williams said. “In 2020 it will come to life – it will be a different Shades.”

Williams is private about the personal circumstances that led her to create Shades.

“I had made some life choices things weren’t working out favorably,” she said. In 2008, the then 37-year-old knew she needed some guidance from older lesbians of color.

She had difficulties finding retreats geared towards black LGBTQ women in the South, 8 News February 15, 2019

is a home “forShades women of color to come to find themselves, grow, be empowered to seek change, and be in the company of other women who are seeking the same.

”

so she launched her own event. She did most of the work creating the website, booking presenters and even doing grocery shopping.

The first year was a little rocky, she admits.

The main cabin at the site she chose could barely fit her 48 attendees who endured severe storms all weekend. She priced the event too low and had to absorb most of the expenses. She also had problems choosing good presenters.

“Workshops just weren’t that great,” she said. “They looked good on paper, but they just weren’t great in person.” Williams also struggled with shaping the identity of the retreat, which she envisioned as exclusively for minority women. A few years in, the event hit its stride. The retreat now draws up to 68 mostly black women from all walks of life; previous year’s attendees included popular queer author Fiona Zedde.

“Many women wanted to come, but they weren’t women of color,” said Williams. “The world itself is not designed for women of color.

Especially in America, we’re marginalized and penalized. This to me was a safe space.”

Attendees like web developer, Nichole Lanier, is a regular at the retreat. She offers Reiki healing services and enjoys the chance to build lasting connections. “It has progressed energy-wise with people feeling more comfortable with each other,” she said.

“In the beginning you kind of side-eyed it, but after the years have passed, you realize you’re in a safe space where you can heal.”

Williams said hosting the event also has empowered her to realize a personal dream: traveling the world. In June, the newlywed will relocate to Cambodia where she’ll reinvent Shades overseas. She says it’ll be the same environment with the same offerings

but with a smaller, more intense group. So far, the response has been excellent.

“They’re like ‘Let’s do it’,” said Williams, who’s certain she can keep the event going strong.

“It’s going to be successful. I have no choice.”

This year’s retreat will run from April 18-21 at Indian Springs State Park. For more information, visit shadesretreat.org. www.thegeorgiavoice.com

BUSINESS

The New Docs in Town Patrick Colson-Price

Their approach isn’t one you’d find in your typical corporate medical office, even down to the way you’re greeted as you enter their practice. Jochen Schaefer and Philip Hoffman are trying something new: getting personal with each of their patients. “I like spending time, face to face time with patients,” said Hoffman.

His background is in Sports Medicine while his partner specializes in aesthetics.

Both spent years searching for ways to bring their specialties to the LGBTQ community before they eventually connected.

“I planned on starting my own clinic without the aesthetics aspect but in the Denver area. We met, and he was already in the process of starting his own aesthetics clinic,” said Hoffman. “Initially I was thinking I could rent space from him, but then it moved into this combined sports medicine aesthetics clinic.”

Their practice, Skin & Bone Docs, was born and is now weeks away from opening in the heart of Inman Park. Between the two, their list of services is quite extensive.

“Phil is trained to treat any sports injuries, chronic musculoskeletal disorders without operations. We’ll use injections with PRP, lidocaine, cortisone to treat injuries, hormone replacement therapy, and testosterone optimization,” said Schaefer. “My specialty is aesthetics. I’ll provide patients with state of the art injectables. We also do skin care and chemical peels. We also have a signature method to do a non-surgical facelift which uses needles and radio-frequency.”

It’s a far stretch from what Hoffman saw himself doing years ago. His dream job, a doctor for the Saint Louis Cardinals, wasn’t ideal. He thought working in a www.thegeorgiavoice.com

corporate setting would be fulfilling but realized his relationships with his patients was suffering.

“Especially with sports medicine with injuries.

It’s very hands-on, and the physical exam is critical. I don’t like to rush the exams,” said Hoffman. “We get to really take time with our patients now, and make sure they’re getting the best service possible.”

Outside of their business relationship, Schaefer and Hoffman are partners in life. They’re both openly gay and proud to be doctors for the LGBTQ community. In addition to their specialized treatments, both doctors will offer STD and HIV testing for patients.

“I like to offer medical care for patients where they know they’re not going to be judged and they can talk to us openly,” said Hoffman. “For me, coming out of Augusta, it’s nice that I can be open about who I am too without trying to hide that for the sake of the business.”

PHILIP HOFFMAN AND JOCHEN SCHAEFER COURTESY PHOTOS

They’re now members of the Atlanta Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce and ready to take community service to the next level with one unique service offered. “We have the first, and only FDA approved body contouring method to destroy fat nonsurgically which is pretty amazing because it’s the most powerful way but at the same time painless,” said Schaefer. “The method preserves blood vessels and nerves around the fat cells, so it’s very soft, and there’s no bruising.”

Their practice is still in the finishing stages of completion, and soon will be open for everyone including the LGBTQ community, but until then, both Hoffman and Schaefer are spending more time in the community getting the word out about the kind of care

I like to offer “medical care for

patients where they know they’re not going to be judged and they can talk to us openly.”

Jochen Schaefer say is vital to keeping their patients satisfied and healthy.

For more information on the Skin & Bone Docs, visit their website at skinandbonedocs.com.

February 15, 2019 Business 9

HEALTH

LGBTQ People MUST Focus on Their Mental Health Luke Gardner While people from all walks of life are subject to mental illness, LGBTQ lives are much more commonly impacted by it than those of their cisgender, straight peers.

Everyone needs and deserves to take care of their mental health, and perhaps queer people need it the most.

Queer youth are twice as likely to feel suicidal and are over four times as likely to attempt suicide than their hetero counterparts, and Transgender adults are 40 percent more likely to have reported extreme distress than cisgender adults according to the Human Rights Campaign.

There is no one reason for the amount of mental illness in the queer community.

Undoubtedly, for some, the vulnerability of being queer in a society built mainly by and for cisgender, straight people is taxing. Other queer people may not even know they’re mentally ill or may not have the privilege of access to healthcare and medicine. Still, others may face active bullying and persecution 10 Health February 15, 2019

while many transgender people, especially youth, have to deal with the daily trauma of being misgendered and deadnamed. These factors play a significant role in the growing number of LGBTQ individuals battling mental illness.

fighting such discrimination.

These trials are why it is imperative for queer people to love themselves, and take medicine and therapy seriously, to take time just merely to exist in our bodies and to advocate for the right of others to do the same.

“If you’re trans, you especially need to take care of mental health issues,” said Brett Rozen, a therapist specializing in LGBTQ issues. “If you aren’t comfortable sharing your identity, and don’t allow yourself mental health services, self-hatred can come out because of societal pressures and prejudices. It’s led to a lot of people taking their own lives. Coming out can be a painful and traumatic time, and counseling can be a real lifesaver.”

“Mental health care is so important to wherever you are in life,” Rozen said. “People need an uninvolved third party, someone who can give you feedback which isn’t emotionally tied to you. Often those tied to us can’t be objective. My job isn’t to give advice, it’s to empower you to make informed decisions and help you work through feelings.”

Other types of discrimination likely also lead to the development or worsening of mental illness in queer people. Facing issues like eviction, homelessness, unemployment, job discrimination, deportation, and harassment are all things that are stressful enough to get in anyone’s head. Beyond all of this, many LGBTQ people take on the added stress of

Taking care of mental health also means starting public conversations about the stigma around mental illness and how it affects the LGBTQ community.

“Back in time, mentally ill people were treated horribly,” Rozen said. “We treated people in a primitive way, locked them up, and that’s where the stigma comes from.”

He said. “In my practice, I try normalizing illness and understand lots of people are

suffering from something.”

Publicly addressing mental health also means advocating for the right of all humans to have access to mental healthcare and to be free of the oppressive situations which exacerbate mental illness — conditions like poverty, transphobia, and abusive home and work environments.

Many individuals and organizations already have begun the work of addressing mental illness and its causes throughout the queer community and advocating for universal access to healthcare, therapy, and medicine.

“I offer services on a sliding scale to people who can’t pay the full fee,” Rozen said. “I also offer out-of-network coverage so clients can file and get reimbursement. It’s important to make healthcare available. Healthcare workers have a responsibility to — if you can’t provide services — at least refer clients out. It’s not easy, but struggling with mental health isn’t easy, and people need help. The first psychiatrist visit could be $350 just for a consultation. I’m definitely for universal health care. I think you should never be turned away if you don’t have the money.” www.thegeorgiavoice.com

HEALTH

The Plight of the Scroll Junkie:

Examining the Ill Effects of Social Media Addiction Berlin Sylvestre Traditional wisdom tells us that idle hands are the devil’s playground. It would appear, then, that we’re safe: Our compulsion to pull out our phones and scroll mindlessly when we’re given a quiet minute at, say, the mechanic or the grocery-store checkout proves our hands (and minds) are always warding off the evil, right? Why, then, are we slowly starting to actualize the adverse effects of constant info and communication via social media? Countless studies are hitting peer-reviewed journals that challenge the age-old notion and set us up for more mindful moments away from our devices.

Here are just a few results. Like and share!

FACEBOOK, I WISH I KNEW HOW TO QUIT YOU Though addiction seems like a strong word when it comes to our continuous need to be connected and informed, the metrics of dependency can be applied to most things we find pleasurable — social media being no exception. A recent study from Nottingham Trent University found “it may be plausible to speak specifically of Facebook Addiction Disorder because addiction criteria, like neglect of personal life, mental preoccupation, escapism, moodmodifying experiences, tolerance, and concealing our addictive behavior appear to be present in some people who use [social media] excessively.” What about socialmedia withdrawal? It exists. Phil Reed, a Swansea University professor, noted in a study on problematic internet use: “We have known for some time that over-dependent people on digital devices report feelings www.thegeorgiavoice.com

of anxiety when they are stopped from using them, but now we can see that these psychological effects are accompanied by actual physiological changes.”

What’s more, social media actually manipulates our dopamine systems, putting us in a state of obsessive reward-seeking when we’re away from it. Identical to an addiction to more traditional substances, scrolling through feeds and responding to/ creating posts can trigger the endorphins that your body’s craving. The problem mirrors any addiction in that there’s never complete satisfaction, so we feel compelled to keep going back. Notice the cycle? As we immerse ourselves in dopamine-triggering stimuli, our brains begin to anticipate them even before they happen, hence the aforementioned withdrawals. For some of us, it may be time to wean, and the first step is admitting we’re addicted.

ROLL THAT HIGHLIGHT REEL! A study out of Germany’s HumboldtUniversität presents another pitfall of social media: envy. When 600 adults were questioned about their overall feelings after scrolling through “relevant others’” socialmedia profiles, 20 percent said frustration and envy were front and center of their immediate emotions. Dr. Hanna Krasnova, who led the study, also described what they call the “selfpromotion/envy spiral,” in which users who feel envious of their social-media friends beef up their own profiles in response, creating a vicious one-up cycle in which “the envyridden character of the platform climate can become even more pronounced.” This makes self-perception increasingly negative, which

leads to feelings of depression and inadequacy in otherwise healthy people.

CAN WE GET SOME PRIVACY, PLEASE? It’s happened on more than once while speaking to my wife about something incredibly specific (a trip to Borneo on one occasion), and in my Facebook feed populated an ad for that very thing. Amazing coincidence or is Facebook “listening” to our conversations? Facebook co-founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg testified before Congress that the answer is no. However, there isn’t a real need for such, as Facebook compiles data on us in myriad ways that don’t involve the mics on our phones. Info in your contacts, for example, links you to a network of people you wouldn’t have sought out normally, but populate in a “People You May Know” sidebar. Your calls and texts are also taken into account, as are (brace yourselves) search terms you’ve typed in — even if you didn’t finish typing them and hit enter. Add to that being able to track your purchases and where you travel, and you’ve got some freakishly targeted ads and suggestions put before you. So I guess my phone wasn’t tapped in the traditional sense.

Still, it’s a bit unnerving, and something most could go without.

IS THERE AN ECHO IN HERE? Social media allows us to follow those who share like-minded stances and sentiments while muting those unlike ours. This is the echo chamber, and it can make for a jarring and upsetting set of realizations and wake-up calls when we log off. As in the physical world, surrounding ourselves with a diversity of opinions makes for a more well-rounded life experience that can stop us from demonizing those who see things from different perspectives. Opening dialogue and finding common ground with folks who, at the outset, appear completely unlike us can mitigate some of the anger and bewilderment we feel when our own views are challenged.

It’s easy for us to lose empathy when we’re in an echo chamber and if we aren’t cognizant of this effect, social media can turn us into close-minded people.

Now about those idle hands: It’s almost unrealistic in this day and age to suggest ridding oneself of all forms of social media.

From work to play, it’s integrated into our daily lives, and that doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing. If, as a society, we’re not exactly ready to let it go, it’s at least better we know. So here’s to mindful, healthy scrolling.

February 15, 2019 Health 11

HEALTH

Zen: It’s More Than You Think

Luke Gardner “I’m feeling Zen” – it’s a phrase often used in the United States, but what is Zen? In popular culture, one can hear the use of the word Zen, often used to describe a feeling of peace or the activities one undergoes to achieve such a feeling. While it’s not far from the meaning of the word and the practices of Zen Buddhism, it’s an oversimplification.

Zen is, after all, more than a synonym for the English word “peace”; Zen encompasses entire cultures, acting as a diverse set of practices and values.

Zen Buddhists believe enlightenment is obtainable through the application of meditation, mindfulness and Buddha’s other teachings, like the principle of loving-kindness.

“Zen is concerned with what actually is rather than what we think or feel about what is,” according to BBC, which lists some insights into its secrets. “Zen is concerned 12 Health February 15, 2019

with things as they are, without trying to interpret them. The key to Buddhahood in Zen is self-knowledge. To be a human being is to be a Buddha. Buddha nature is just another name for human nature. Zen is to be completely alive. Zen tries to free the mind from the slavery of words and the constriction of logic.”

Many know that Buddhism was birthed in India, and like most major religions, as Buddhism spread across cultures and countries over thousands of years, it grew and changed drastically. It’s led to many denominations and interpretations of Buddhism, and perhaps the one most popular in the U.S. is Zen. Zen Buddhism was brought to China in the 6th century and then spread to Korea in the 7th century. By the 12th century, it made its way to Japan. By the turn of the 20th century, all corners of the globe had been exposed to the unique practice.

In Lawrenceville, Georgia, members of the Trúc Lâm Bảo Chí Zen Buddhist Temple

gather on Sundays from 10am to 2pm to meditate, chant and learn the teaching of the Buddha in the presence of friends and family.

The temple was founded in 2005 by Dao Tinh, who was born into a Zen Buddhist family in Vietnam, where he said he studied under respected masters. Tinh noted that while most of the temple’s members are Vietnamese, anyone is welcome to come.

“I like to share happiness with everyone,” he said. “The main goal is to bring peace to people. People easily get depressed because of work or social life or having too many bills, so I want to share this happiness.”

Tinh also spoke on the practice of developing mindfulness, which could be described as the ability to entirely focus one’s mind on the joy of the present moment by clearing away unwanted thoughts.

“I only live with the present moment so I must learn to respect and value the present moment I have,” Tinh said. “I keep my body and my mind in the same place. When I’m

cooking I know I’m cooking, and when I’m driving I know I’m driving.”

He suggested beginners try to set aside five to ten minutes each day to consider what they did well and what they could have done better.

“You don’t have to practice Zen Buddhism but [you] should at least know the techniques,” he said. “If you are working and your mind isn’t there, then [you] aren’t working successfully.”

As for the casual use of the word Zen, he said that while it’s not a severe problem, it is inaccurate.

“Right now a lot of people don’t know what Zen is about, Tinh said. “The casual use of Zen doesn’t sound right to me – I’ve never heard someone say that before. I think they could say that because Zen meditation makes the mind feel peaceful, so when you feel good Zen has worked but using Zen as an emotion or adjective is not the right word. Maybe just say ‘I feel relaxed’ instead.” www.thegeorgiavoice.com

HEALTH

Yoga

For the Ages

Patrick Colson-Price “I am James Dustin, and I’m 52-years-old,” he proudly stated during our interview. How he carries himself is that of a 26-year-old. It was even more evident during a meet-andgreet with Dustin on a cold Atlanta morning.

He showed us some of his yoga poses as part of our story; poses the majority of athletes and his clients wouldn’t be able to achieve.

“I already knew though, that a large number of my clients, regardless of how long they practice, would never be able to achieve the perceived, full expression of many yoga poses without a good deal of help,” said Dustin.

Dustin has served the LGBTQ community as a massage therapist for nearly 16 years, and it’s what jump-started his passion in this intense meditative exercise.

“Limited range of motion in the body’s joints has been the number one cause of gym injuries that I have seen throughout my years practice,” he said. “Many of my clients’ www.thegeorgiavoice.com

muscles are so tight that their joints are restricted, which sets up the perfect storm for injury during routine exercise.”

He’s a certified as a yoga teacher, teaching clients one-on-one from the comforts of his home, but takes his skills to the next level with Yoga Nidra. What is it? Yoga Nidra refers to a form of guided meditation or relaxation and loosely translates as dynamic sleep. It is designed to facilitate awareness of and to help accept blockages, thereby liberating the life energy they contain and restoring balance.

“Meditation has become a form of armor for me,” he said. “In many ways, it shields me from a lot of the negativity that that seems so often to be forced upon us these days.”

He often hears, “I could never do yoga, I’m not flexible enough” or “I’ve always wanted to try yoga, but I’m too nervous to go to a yoga class when I don’t know what I’m doing.” Dustin’s primary goal is to get people who have fear and anxiety into a yoga

studio. His approach is entirely different.

There are no large classes, and there’s not an intimidation factor. It’s Dustin, his client, and a room full of positive energy.

It’s evident that age isn’t a factor in Dustin’s line of work, whether it be massage therapy or yoga instructing. That mentality is part of his learning instruction when he meets with his clients. He offers unique, innovative ways to strengthen the body and mind.

Those props include sticky mats, blankets, belts, blocks, chairs, benches, wall ropes, sandbags, and other objects that help students experience the various yoga poses more profoundly. It gives Dustin an opportunity to bring beginners into his home and provide them with the support they need to accomplish different poses and positions.

“I began studying Prajna Yoga which teaches ways to adapt any pose to meet the practitioner where their body is,” he said.

“I encourage the use of props during yoga practice to allow anyone access to positions regardless of physical condition, muscle mass, age, or length of study.”

He continues his services to the Atlanta LGBTQ community and allies to give those regardless of age, a place to live a younger life one pose at a time. For more about James, please visit jamesdustinmassage.com and for more information about Prajna yoga, please visit Prajnayoga.net.

Febraury 15, 2019 Health 13

HEALTH

CBD: The Facts and The Benefits Katie Burkholder

differently on receptors in the brain and body.

“CBD is abundant in the male cannabis plant, also known as Hemp. Hemp is categorized as having less than .3 percent Tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), the psychoactive compound found in Marijuana, which is the female cannabis plant,” he says. Despite its close relationship with marijuana, CBD is legal in all 50 states.

Because of its close proximity to marijuana, CBD is one of the most misunderstood health supplements on the market these days. Despite this, it’s still the latest health fad and seemingly miraculous drug curing everything from anxiety to heart disease.

But is it just that – a fad? Is this “miracle drug” bogus? Or is it really the be-all cure-all of medicine? Before choosing CBD to treat your latest ailment, learn what CBD actually is and what it could do for you. Dr. Mayur Cara, D.C. is a chiropractor at Ease Wellness Chiropractic in the Old Fourth Ward, a practice he says “focuses on natural healing.” One of his ways of healing naturally is CBD – but what is CBD and where does it come from?

CBD stands for Cannabidiol, a naturally

14 Health February 15, 2019

DR. MAYUR CARA, D.C. PHOTO BY ROB BOEGER

occurring compound found in the resinous flower of cannabis. It’s closely related to another important medicinally active compound, tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), which causes the high that cannabis is famous for. Both compounds have significant therapeutic attributes, but unlike THC, CBD doesn’t make a person feel “stoned” or intoxicated. It acts

This compound is actually something we produce naturally in our own bodies, which is why supplements work to treat many ailments. According to Dr. Cara, the body creates CBD in the Endocannabinoid system which maintains homeostasis and regulates appetite, the immune system, and pain.

“Cannabis can be an effective form of managing many issues including pain, headaches, anxiety, arthritis, depression, and has been shown to reduce seizures in children,”

he says. “CBD is extremely beneficial in our modern lives where we are hyper-stressed mentally, physically, and emotionally.”

Although oil is its most talked-about form, supplemental CBD can come in salves, lotions, creams, and even infused into foods.

The non-toxic supplement really does sound like a miracle drug, but it’s not perfect. You could experience some minor side effects while taking CBD according to doctors.

“Fatigue and diarrhea have been noted as side effects in some,” he says. “There have been some drug interactions that have been identified as well, so talking to your doctor before using CBD is recommended.”

If you think CBD is right for you, you can get Full Spectrum/Whole Plant hemp derived CBD at Ease Wellness Chiropractic.

www.thegeorgiavoice.com

HEALTH

A Vision of Wellness Rob Boeger

After spending 16 years in rural New York, acupuncturist David Jones and his wife, Lisa, who studied art history at Yale and later found her way to culinary nutrition education at Cornell University, were craving an urban environment and set their sites on Atlanta, “a city which has a beautiful diversity and people easy to get along with,” says David Jones. They moved to the city last year and opened up their new business, Visionary Healing Center for Wellness. It’s the ultimate rejuvenation station that leaves you feeling rested and ready to take on a new day. Learn more about their unique services from the owners themselves!

What services do you offer?

David: “I offer traditional acupuncture in a Japanese or Chinese tradition, cupping, Gua sha (a scraping technique), energetic healing with Reiki Craniosacral (a subtle adjustment of spinal fluid), and Zero Point Balancing (subtle energetic manipulations of deep energies in the body.)”

What is acupuncture?

David: “Acupuncture is the use of needles along with some herbs burned on the skin for the purpose of clearing blockages in channels within your body in which energy flows, referred to as Chi. Basically, we’re removing blockages to your flow of energy by using very fine needles and in some cases adding a little energy where there is a deficiency.

What we try to achieve is a balance of the energies in your body allowing you to heal.”

Why should someone get acupuncture?

David: “I think acupuncture is a modality that is one of, if not the most holistic way to treat the body. The energies that we move and facilitate the movement of are very deep. www.thegeorgiavoice.com

And once cleared, symptoms far-ranging as digestive problems or depression and anything between those or around those tends to clear up once we balance energies. And it’s painless.”

What are the benefits for somebody that is HIV positive?

David: “Lisa and I have a long history of working with people with HIV. Almost 20 years ago we worked with the Gay Men’s Health Crisis Center in New York City.

Providing nutrition and that was very early on in the crisis, so we have stayed with the AIDS crisis until now when things have improved considerably regarding drug therapy. What acupuncture does do is stimulate the immune system and balance the body’s response to things. So we can strengthen your immune system and provide a certain amount of emotional stability while doing that.”

What is DRYFT Floatation Therapy?

Lisa: “Floatation therapy is when you place your body in magnesium enriched salt water in an enclosed chamber. The idea is the magnesium enriched salt water enables you to be completely buoyant on the surface of the water creating a weightless feeling. It’s great for recovery and for any tension or physical ailments that you may be suffering from. While you’re floating in the water, your body is absorbing magnesium through the skin transdermally, so you can take in a lot more magnesium that than you can in supplement form. Most people are magnesium deficient, so this magnesium

LISA AND DAVID JONES PHOTO BY ROB BOEGER

infusion is incredibly therapeutic to the body because it really plays a big part in brain and heart function, and nerve and endocrine system health.

Clinical data shows cortisol levels reduce more quickly in floatation therapy than in any other relaxation therapy, and they stay lower for a much longer prolonged period up to five days. This is very significant for people suffering from cortisol-related heart disease, or cortisol-related weight gain. It has an infinite number of benefits, not to mention the fact that it’s super cool to be floating weightlessly on top of the water in a dark chamber. It’s like meditation on training wheels..

One of the great things about being in a floatation chamber is you’re completely in control of the space. If you feel uncomfortable or anxious about being enclosed or you’re start feeling claustrophobic, you can open the lid and float in an open lid chamber. Very few people actually manifest a claustrophobic reaction, but I always encourage people to know they’re completely in control and they

can very quickly open the lid of the tank and be released.”

Do you offer nutritional advice for patients?

Lisa: “I think we have a really neat model of working with people as nutrition consultants because we only give nutrition advice out after my husband has had someone in his office and gotten a diagnosis from him. We use the information of what is happening to their bodies, where their systems might be imbalanced and we can call on the Chinese tradition of food therapy and answer their specific problems with food results. It’s really fascinating if you have spleen deficiency which can manifest itself in a lot of mental fog, fatigue, depression, and stubborn weight gain. It’s a very specific nutritional response to your situation and it’s quite powerful if people decide to actually take the advice and eat those foods.

MORE INFO Visionary Healing Center for Wellness 659 Auburn Ave NE, 130 Atlanta, GA 30312 678-820-8403

February 15, 2019 Health 15

HEALTH

Apps to Help You Become One Patrick Colson-Price We’ve said it once and will repeat it again: there’s an app for literally everything!

Productivity apps are the new craze and allow you to take on tasks from the palms of your hands. From meditation to mind strengthening quizzes, there’s an abundance of self-control to get you in touch with your inner being! Here are our top picks and they’re all free!

CALM Mornings are meant for peace and quiet, but we sometimes can get distracted while trying to get ready for a busy work day. The morning rush can cause more stress that carries into the rest of our day. The Calm

App enables you to enjoy all of the benefits of meditation programs to help you become one as your morning begins. Each program is accompanied by serene sounds from nature to specialized soundtracks.

GRATITUDE Need a reminder of what the positives happening your life?

The Gratitude App is a private journal that allows you to be grateful during your day and become more mindful. From daily inspirational quotes to writing your own daily affirmations, it’s the perfect way to remind yourself just what’s going right in your life.

LUMOSITY Need some mental stimulation during

your day? Lumosity provides free brain training programs to help you acquire knowledge and learning about how you think. These comprehensive brain training programs are designed to test your critical thinking, memory, and problem-solving skills. Tests only take minutes of your time allowing you to get the perfect mental stimulation while on a quick work break.

HEADSPACE If you have difficulty focusing on the task at hand, take a break and download the HeadSpace App. It teaches you the art of meditation to connect your mind, body, and soul. The app walks you through the ins and outs of meditation for ten days, and afterward, you

choose from a handful of different sessions depending on needs.

FOREST Need some accountability to help you complete tasks in time? The Forest App works on a technique named Pomodoro which breaks down listed tasks using a timer on a frequent interval.

The app creates a virtual tree that grows with the task, but if you touch your phone before the task session is up, the tree dies. Don’t fret though, it’s not as gloomy as it sounds! This app helps keep you focused on work and stay away from distractions on your phone like social media or checking emails. The app allows you to focus on and divide up tasks to ensure you’re getting enough breaks in between to complete each one efficiently.

The Great Escape: Georgia Weekend Getaways Patrick Colson-Price

RIVERS EDGE CAMPGROUND COURTESY PHOTO

If you need that perfect weekend getaway to replenish your mind, body, and soul, it’s closer than you might think. Don’t worry about rushing to book a flight to a remote tropical destination because your great escape is literally just hours away. From LGBTQ campgrounds to bed and breakfasts nestled away in the backwoods of Georgia, we’ve got your top spots to unwind and get energized!

RIVERS EDGE (CAMPGROUND) One of the most prominent gay campgrounds in the state is River’s Edge. Its clientele is mostly men, with some women sprinkled in.

Located in Dewey Rose near Athens, it’s on 63 acres and is clothing optional. Amenities include campsites for tents and RV’s, a pool, themed activities, a gym, and a clubhouse.

Visitors have the option to rent a wide variety of cabins located on the property.

More Info: http://www.camptheriversedge.com/ IN THE WOODS (CAMPGROUND) A members only, adult 21+, 30 acres, clothing optional camping resort where visitors can enjoy 16 Health February 15, 2019

MOUNTAIN LAUREL CREEK INN (BED & BREAKFAST) Dennis Hoover and his partner, David Mulcahy, own Mountain Laurel Creek Inn, which, like Swiftwaters, is in Dahlonega. Visitors will experience a quiet romantic getaway, with no children or pets, no TV’s in rooms to create noise to disturb other guests. Nearby attractions include several wineries and scenic adventures for anyone looking to take a step out of hectic city life and unwind in comfort.

More Info: https://www.mountainlaurelcreek.com/

the sights and sounds of nature. Located in Canon, Georgia, the campground is made up of large, secluded campsites for tents and RV’s with electric and water. Restrooms and showers are on-site. Amenities include a swimming pool, clubhouse, hot tub, and scheduled events.

More Info: https://inthewoodscampground.com/ STONEHURST PLACE (BED & BREAKFAST) Set in an art-filled 19th-century mansion

in Midtown, award-winning Stonehurst Place is one of the most luxurious Atlanta boutique hotels. Owned by lesbian Barb Shadomy since 2008, Stonehurst is known for being green – using purification, recycling, and solar energy. Located in the heart of Midtown Atlanta, visitors will have a chance to explore restaurants, shops, and attractions on foot.

PARLIAMENT HOUSE (GAY RESORT) Located in the heart of Augusta, Georgia, Parliament House bills itself as the world’s largest all-male resort. A gay-owned, members-only club, Parliament House has 70 rooms and a “cruisy” atmosphere. Amenities include a pool and daily activities for visitors to partake in. The clothing-optional atmosphere gives visitors a chance to be free and enjoy Georgia’s beautiful weather.

More Info: https://stonehurstplace.com/

More Info: http://www.p-house.com/ www.thegeorgiavoice.com

HEALTH

Setting the Tone for Your Day O’Brian Gunn

How many times have you wished you could just start your day all over again when trouble takes over? Digging deeper, you may discover the root of the issue is that you have yet to design a morning routine that sets you up for success. Rather than hit the snooze button before dragging yourself out of bed, throwing wrinkled clothes on, and hurrying out the door, it’s essential to learn how to fine-tune a morning routine that doesn’t leave you wanting to reset your day.

One of the first things to realize about a morning routine is that they aren’t about packing your mornings with as much activity as possible before you head off to work. Instead, they’re about making you feel empowered and fully prepared for the day ahead. That looks different for everyone, so don’t think you need the same morning routine as a CEO or entrepreneur.

No one knows your triggers for stress and frustration better than you do. It’s vital you’re honest with yourself about what commonly brings on a tide of anxiety and aggravation. That way, you can frame your morning routine around strategies that keep that stress at bay. For instance, if you often feel overwhelmed by the number of daily tasks you’ve got to take care of, take out a few minutes in the morning to write down what those tasks are and assign them a number based on importance. A “1” task is something you need to take care of ASAP while a “3” task is one you can leave for later on in the day. Get a handle on stress before it gets a chokehold on you.

Scientists say that producing positive energy seconds after you wake up can have a lasting effect throughout your day. Once your alarm goes off and you rise out of bed, smile. Tell yourself, today will be a good day and that you’ll be able to accomplish every challenge www.thegeorgiavoice.com

Scientists say that “producing positive

energy seconds after you wake up can have a lasting effect throughout your day. Once your alarm goes off and you rise out of bed, smile.

Tell yourself, today will be a good day and that you’ll be able to accomplish every challenge thrown your way.

”

thrown your way. Beginning your day with positive encouragement and reinforcement will change the way you act and react to situations through your entire day. Put some of your favorite music on while getting ready for work and do it with a smile.

If you’ve never really had a morning routine, it’s best you take things slow. That way, you can easily tune in to what truly works and what seems to be ineffective. The key is for your routine to feel custom tailored to your strengths and goals. Also, cut out as much wasted screen time as possible.

You’d be surprised at how many minutes you give yourself when you aren’t forever scrolling through memes, pictures of food, and online quizzes. Trade time-sucking apps like Facebook for productivity apps that help you organize your mind, body, and soul.

It’s perfectly okay if you have to switch up your morning routine every now and then, especially when you first make one. Make a journal of where and how you truly maximize your time and productivity and where you seem to be doing more harm than good. If you’re having trouble deciding what to cut and what to keep on your routine, focus on your goals. Do you want to do/feel better at work? Do you want to get ahead of tasks at home that seems to pile up during the week?

Are you trying to carve out more time to exercise? Once you know what’s knocking your day out of whack, you’ll know how to get your routine on track.

You can take your morning routine a step further by kicking it off with a night routine.

Decide on your outfit for the next day, use your phone to set reminders for anything you know you’ll likely forget, and map out your day, so you know what you’re doing and when. Let your brain know it’s time to

chill out by refraining from looking at your phone, tablet or anything else that gives off blue light, which can throw your circadian rhythms off. To keep from being jolted out of relaxation by texts or calls, use the “Do Not Disturb” setting on your devices. To make it easier to fall asleep, you can read a book, do some meditating, or listen to music. Over time, and when you perform your evening routine at the same time, your brain will start to recognize when it’s time to start powering down. It becomes that much easier for you to drift off to sleep and wake up feeling refreshed and ready to dive into your morning routine.

Morning routines can’t deflect every mishap throughout the day (you’ll need Wonder Woman’s bracelets for that). That said, they definitely go a long way in helping you outpace avoidable fiascos. Use your routine to add a cup of Zen to your morning that’s almost as revitalizing as that first cup of coffee. Almost.

February 15, 2019 Health 17

FEATURE

THE MARIE KONDO EXPERIENCE PUBLICITY PHOTOS

The Marie Kondo Phenomenon: Sparking Your Ultimate Joy Aidan Ivory Edwards Marie Kondo’s “Spark Joy: An Illustrated Master Class on the Art of Organizing and Tidying Up” was something that I heard about in passing and on social media. I hadn’t thought about it very much because I couldn’t see the fuss about organizing more than I already did. I thought it was another trend that would seamlessly pass. Plus, it seemed like another thing to add to the todo list, but my wife, Kerri, expressed a small interest in it. I know her well, so it was a subtle hint that she would love to read it. I went against my selfish wishes and purchased her a copy of the book. To be honest, I was expecting a shoulder shrug, and an “it was okay” from my wife, but she committed to following the sequential steps that Kondo speaks about.

I remained skeptical listening to Kerri telling me about the latest fad before purchasing her a copy. We are clean, tidy and sharp enough already, I thought. I knew where everything was in our household; it had a designated area.

Overall our living space was comfortable, and easy to live in—it’s not too much, not too 18 Feature February 15, 2019

little. Just how I like it. What more could we possibly do to help tidy up our place?

I became more in tune as she began reading the book, finding myself asking more and more questions concerning how exactly we were supposed to tidy up our already—so I thought—tidy place. I was wrong, very wrong. I began watching what she was organizing, following Kondo’s suggestions with quick and neat tricks like putting her purses inside of her other purses, so it reflected an appealing look where it was stored while saving plenty of space.

I came home to a pile of my clothes on our bed. It was the dreaded purge that I feared.

Kerri told me to choose the clothes that I wanted to keep, and that the rest were to be donated. I reluctantly agreed, holding back my lower scale hoarder that is nested deep down in myself. It wasn’t until my Kerri’s request that I even considered I might have these tendencies. I did have a million things that I just didn’t wear—a symptom of a busy life, I thought. Dropping off the clothes at the charity, I felt a massive weight lifted from my shoulders that I had no idea was there.

With the remaining clothes, Kerri showed me what we were going to do with our finalized wardrobe. She began making them perfect squares then rolling them up into cylinders. When she rolled them, the logos showed allowing us to be aware of which shirt it is. It was such a simple technique yet so clever.

Her next project was the cabinets, which I stayed behind the scenes and watched because I only owned mugs. Kerri asked me similar questions from before about what I used, and what I didn’t use—I didn’t use them as much as I thought. She stored our extra mugs and glasses away in cardboard boxes, something I had a difficult time watching, knowing that meant I had more dishes to wash. Eventually, I began to catch on that she was doing the same thing that she did in our closet without clothing items.

Following this was the living room, then the bathroom, and lastly, our entryway closet.

Before we knew it, our one bedroom studio apartment felt like a two bedroom sprawling condo. Kerri informed me that it’s more about using the same technique to organize

everything in each room. All of the pieces to the puzzle came together. I should’ve just been asking all along, but I was a bit shy because of my anti-fad mindset.

Lastly, Kerri shared that Kondo is adamant about habitual behavior like placing your work bag and keys in the same place, so we set up designated areas for certain items.

Kondo thanks her items for what they do for her, a way of showing great respect. I thought her sentimental value towards her items was exciting and admirable. We began treating our items differently. In the aftermath of the master class, I was shocked and pleased. Our home was that much more organized. “It made our home feel bigger, cleaner and more livable. Her work is simple but very effective,” said my wife. I have to agree. Marie Kondo’s new phenomenon is the real deal. www.thegeorgiavoice.com

INSPIRATIONAL READS

The Myth of Sisyphus:

Grappling Suicide With Absurdity Aidan Ivory Edwards My childhood friend took his own life when I was fourteen years old. I walked every day to school with him, a one and a half block stroll along a street called African Road. I’d been out of touch with him for a few months – the summer was usually a hibernation period during my youth. He was only a block away from my opal colored home that resided on a wooded corner. I couldn’t distinguish the feeling that I had, but it was unpleasant and hauntingly vacant. I didn’t attend his funeral, which only compounded the vast amount of grief.

Then when I was twenty-one, one of my best friends ended his life shortly after I moved to Atlanta. We were neighbors in a small apartment complex in my hometown in Upstate, New York. We would have random days where we would forget all of our obligations, play guitar, chain smoke, and drink cheap beer. For us, we would chalk it up as the typical youth recklessness that reigns in suburban decay, but underneath we both knew there was a profound sense of melancholy and lack of self-control. This time, I returned home to attend his funeral.

It was there that I was face to face with suicide.

I stared at my friend’s apartment door, wishing that I could knock on it, see his genuine smile, and to exchange our ritual hugs. I began to wonder if I was heading in the same direction.

Everything felt grim and unfulfilling.

I returned to Atlanta unmoored. My thoughts were erratic, and my bad habits had picked up even more steam. I began www.thegeorgiavoice.com

calling out of my shifts so that I could cater to my vices alone in my bedroom. After calling out one of my shifts, I relocated a book, one given to me by my brother called “The Myth of Sisyphus” by Albert Camus.

I was failing to do my duties as a writer, so reading fell out of my daily routine as well.

One evening, I forced myself into the book that I knew nothing about, other than it was a series of essays. It’s short but denser than your average book.

Sisyphus is the Greek mythological God who was condemned for his duplicity.

His punishment was pushing a boulder up a steep hill, only to watch it slide back down for eternity – such as life. I had no idea what to do with this knowledge before reading the book. Albert Camus opens by stating: “There is only one really serious philosophical problem, and that is suicide.”

An Algerian-French Camus wrote this in the aftermath of World War II in mind – a time where identities were destroyed, and nothingness prevailed. In dealing with my two losses, I was subconsciously searching for a meaning in life. Camus’s work guided me to a resolution, detailing the absurdity of searching for a purpose in life. Searching is exasperating and futile, but this statement doesn’t reflect life in a negative light. It’s a common misinterpretation associated with absurdism and existentialism, in general. It’s radiant, a sense of freedom opens up when you’re free from the burden of searching for the meaning of life when there may not be one.

Most importantly, Camus believes that suicide is one big misunderstanding – when

SISYPHUS

PHOTO BY WIKICOMMONS/ANTONIO ZANCHI

the heart, and brain aren’t aligned with the absurdity of the world. He says we shouldn’t search for a further meaning in existence, andshouldn’t hope for an afterlife. We also shouldn’t try to comprehend the nonsensical world that we exist in.

Sisyphus is a supreme example of the devotion of life in Camus’s eyes. Sisyphus doesn’t ask what the meaning behind his labor is, but he pursues it regardless, understanding that it’s meaningless and not dwelling on the purposiveness of his duty. Camus pictures Sisyphus smiling as he’s pushing the rock up the hill, knowing that it will return to the bottom as it always does. But without missing a beat, Sisyphus returns to pushing the rock up the hill, understanding and

being able to have a full awareness of the “futility” of life is a form of transcendence.

Of course, now, we know other factors play a role in suicide. There are days where I’ll re-read specific excerpts and think about my friends who have passed – wondering if I could have handed them this book and possibly saved their lives. I wish that it could have been, but it wasn’t – and I have made peace with that. This book has been my restoration. I read it after the long weeks when I don’t know what I am doing with my life. I read it after I lose someone. I read it to remind myself why it is that I wake up every morning with a smile upon my face, similar to the one on Sisyphus’s as he continues to never-ending task of pushing that momentous boulder up an unforgiving hill.

February 15, 2019 Inspirational Reads 19

ACTING OUT

Ghost Story-themed Film Makes Big Screen Magic Jim Farmer Launched during the company’s 2004-2005 season, the Alliance Theater’s Kendeda National Graduate Playwriting Competition has showcased some major up and coming playwrights over the years. One of those was Tarell Alvin McCraney, the Oscar winner behind “Moonlight.” His play “In the Red and Brown Water” bowed at the company back in 2008.

This year’s winner is “Goodnight, Tyler,” bowing this week. It’s a drama dealing with racial and personal issues, but one that also has its share of laughs. To some people, Tyler Evans (Travis Turner) was a black man who got shot by police officers. To other, he was a friend, colleague and a fiancée. As those close to him debate his time on Earth, the character comes back from life to haunt his best friend. much you think of what race they are. You just know you like them, but as you mature and become adults, things can shift and change.”

Written by B.J. (Bato) Tindal, a Philadelphia playwright who studied theater and Africana studies at Oberlin and then got a masters in screen and stage writing from Northwestern, it’s directed by openly gay Kent Gash, who worked at the Alliance Theater from 2001 to 2009 as the assistant artistic director.

Gash became a fan after an initial read of the play – and was impressed by its timely nature. “It’s a brilliant work,” he says. “Tyler refuses to die until those around him get his legacy right. It’s a ghost story, but a lot is going on throughout the storyline. As an African-American male, I feel we are targeted regularly by the police. This is an artistic response to something that is profoundly troubling in our society. It has always been an issue in our culture. At a time when hate seems to be the mode of the day, it’s a play that challenges everyone’s assumptions on every level. It’s also very surprising.”

The character of Tyler is 26 years old, has 20 Columnists February 15, 2019

The director has been especially impressed by playwright Tindal. “He is smart, inventive, wildly imaginative and not afraid to be provocative in his world, but he also has a command of structure and form that is astonishing in a playwright so young. His sense of theatre is exhilarating. It’s as exciting as working with Tarell.” been raised by a grandmother and has a lot of white friends in his social circle. His best friend since eighth grade is Davis, a gay white man. Tyler is heterosexual but comfortable with his friend.

In other ways, Gash feels Davis is a typical twenty-something. “Like people in their late 20s, he is figuring out where he fits in the world and what he wants his life to be. He is a devoted friend who finds out how devoted his friendship will need to be. When you meet someone at eight years old, I don’t know how

Gash serves as the founding director of NYU’s Tisch School of the Art’s New Studio on Broadway. He has been happy to return to Atlanta, however, for the show and the company’s 50th anniversary. “I am so glad to be back,” he says. “I spent so much time here, and I love the audiences here. They have a real appetite for new work. The people here are special.”

SHOWING TIMES “Goodnight, Tyler” Feb 16 – March 10 Alliance Theatre

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Atlanta Ballet 2 dancers and Company dancer Keith Reeves.

Photos by Kim Kenney.

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EATING MY WORDS

Eating for the Soul Cliff Bostock Like clockwork, my midlife crisis arrived when I turned 40. Watching all of my friends die from AIDS, I lived in a vortex of death and terror. At my therapist’s suggestion, I enrolled in a weekend workshop at the Atlanta Shambhala Meditation Center.

There, I learned mindfulness meditation brings forward our “observer” consciousness, a part of the psyche that can step back from our constant, catastrophizing rumination.

By stepping back, we watch our obsessive thoughts and feelings float away. Yes, they come back but, over time, they lose much of their captivating power. Soon after the workshop, I enrolled in grad school to get a master’s degree and a PhD in psychology. My particular interest was Buddhist psychology, in which the practice of mindfulness is rooted. It seemed evident to me that this skill could be of enormous help to people in psychotherapy.

As a food writer schooled in mindfulness, I quickly realized that food has come to signify the misery, illness, and classism that wracks our world. Our children have the highest rate of food insecurity in the developed world. Obesity has become the virtual norm.

The “serious” restaurant scene has mainly turned into a playground for the elite, whose delusional return to Eden is signified by strolling through weekend farmers’ markets with an organic hot dog in hand. And everyone’s watching food TV.

22 Columnists February 15, 2019

So, any plate of food really is a personal and cultural mirror. The goal is to slow down the entire process of eating to glimpse the basic goodness and underlying beauty of reality. In many ways, it’s actually a return to our lost table manners. You turn off the TV. You unfold your napkin; you put it in your lap. You look at the food before you, noting its inherent and composed beauty.

You pick up a forkful of food, you put it in your mouth, and you return the fork to your plate while you chew slowly, noting flavors. Are they balanced, or do they overwhelm you with disproportionate tastes of salt and sugar? You approach the food with a sense of adventure. You don’t scream and run to McDonald’s when a few bits of cilantro are scattered on your taco. If you want to speak, you swallow your food first.

I don’t mean this won’t be difficult at first.

But once you manage even a few minutes, a sense of presence and mystery will flash through you. Especially when combined with formal meditation, eating this way can help broadly change your perception of reality.

In Asian cultures, there are literally ceremonies intended for just this purpose.

The best known is the Japanese tea ceremony, especially when preceded by kaiseki, which is essentially a multi-course menu of small dishes that studiously compare colors, styles of cooking, and flavors. I don’t know of any kaiseki restaurants in Atlanta these days, but Netflix foodie Ronald Hsu may do that

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when his restaurant, Lazy Betty, soon opens.

Hsu is actually trained in preparing classic kaiseki. In the meantime, you can have a much similar experience at a restaurant like Staplehouse, where chef Ryan Smith offers a lengthy tasting menu of gorgeously presented small plates. It’s expensive, and you have to pay in advance, but it’s well worth splurging.

Amid the avalanche of books promoting mindfulness, quite a few concern food. One of the earliest is “Savor: Mindful Eating, Mindful Life” by legendary Zen teacher Thich Nhat Hanh and nutritionist Lilian Cheung. The most recent is “How We Eat with Our Eyes and Think with Our Stomach” by Melanie Muhl and Diana von Kopp. These books annoy me a bit.

They understandably are about employing mindfulness to lose weight, but they don’t say much about the beauty of food itself.

So, in short, shut up, don’t talk with your mouth full, and always remember you are how you eat as much as what you eat.

Cliff Bostock is a former psychotherapist now specializing in life coaching. Contact him at 404-518-4415 or CliffBostock@gmail.com.

MORE INFO Shambhala Meditation Center of Atlanta 1447 Church Street • Atlanta, GA 404-370-9650 AtlantaShambhalaCenter.org Lazy Betty 1530 DeKalb Avenue • Atlanta, GA LazyBettyAtl.com Staplehouse 541 Edgewood Avenue • Atlanta, GA 404-524-5005 Staplehouse.com

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BEST BETS Our Guide to the Best LGBTQ Events in Atlanta for February 15-28 FRIDAY, FEB. 15

Joining Hearts is kicking off its 32nd year with “Love on the Rocks” – its annual fundraising Valentine’s cocktail party. Join in for a fun evening of drinks, food, music and an amazing silent auction to raise funds for the HIV and AIDS community in Atlanta.

5 – 8pm The Wimbish House

One of the oldest surviving classical masterpieces and August Bournonville’s most lasting contribution to dance, Atlanta Ballet’s “La Sylphide” is a magical story of forbidden love and heartbreak.

A work of ethereal beauty, “La Sylphide” is an enrapturing tragic love story that will pull at the heartstrings and dazzle with its technical fireworks.

8pm, through Feb. 23 Cobb Energy Center

MONDAY, FEB. 18

T-Time Atlanta Trans Youth holds their weekly meeting tonight.

7pm St. Annes Episcopal Church

Clarinda Ross, one of the original founders of ART Station and a Los Angeles actor for many years, will return to the company to perform in her new play entitled “Spit Like A Big Girl.” The play is a comic look at what a Southern daughter learned from her college professor parents.

8pm, through Feb. 24

TUESDAY, FEB. 19

Come enjoy Queer Bait, featuring videos with DJ Headmaster, at Mary’s tonight.

Every Friday at midnight, it’s time to slip on those fishnets and make-up for the greatest live troupe in the city, Lips Down on Dixie, Inc., for a righteous party in front of the big screen for “The Rocky Horror Show.”

Midnight Plaza Theatre Grab your tribal gear and be prepared to dance the night away with Papa Atlanta Tribal! Justin David & Midnight Train Atlanta presents one of the years most anticipated parties with International Producer and DJ, Suri, taking you higher!

State of the art sound, lighting, lasers, and light shows will create the perfect mood for high-intensity dancing and beats!

9pm – 3am Believe Music Hall

SATURDAY, FEB., 16

The 2019 Georgia/LGBTQ+ Youth Summit, hosted by Georgia Safe Schools Association, is a time to meet youth from around the state to be encouraged, inspired, and motivated for action. It will offer education, entertainment, breakout sessions, advocacy, and new friendships, as well as a social/talent show.

9am – 6:15pm ASC Ascend

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Just in time for President’s Day Weekend, grab your tribal gear and be prepared to dance the night away with Papa Atlanta Tribal! Justin David & Midnight Train Atlanta presents one of the years most anticipated parties with International Producer and DJ, Suri, taking you higher!

9pm – 3am Believe Music Hall Drag Queen Storytime: Valentine’s Day Edition features Miss Terra Cotta Sugarbaker. Come make a Valentine craft, enjoy books and some other treats.

3pm Ponce de Leon Branch Library Atlanta Leather and Lace is a fundraiser for Lost N Found Youth, with drag, raffles, and shooters all night, as well as DJ Daniel Weaver and host Monica Moree.

7 – 10pm Atlanta Eagle See the enchanting musical “Ever After” tonight at the renovated Alliance Theatre Coca Cola Stage.

7:30pm

Vicki Powell and Deep South are proud to announce the return of Horse Meat Disco to Atlanta. The group first came to town in February 2018 and currently hold and run regular parties across the UK, Europe, and the world.

10pm – 3am Heretic Atlanta

SUNDAY, FEB. 17

The PFLAG support group for parents and families of LGBTQ children meets at the Atlanta International School.

2:30 – 4pm Kia Comedy hosts the Sunday LGBTQ Day Party event, with all sorts of drink specials.

My Sister’s Room 4 – 8pm

Moderated by Cathy Woolard, former Atlanta City Council President and Atlanta mayoral candidate, the Atlanta City Council District 3 Candidate Forum is organized by the League Of Women Voters Atlanta Fulton County. Invited candidates are Byron Amos, Antonio Brown, Ricky Brown, Matthew Charles Cardinale, Greg Clay, Erika Estrada, Mesha Mainor, Jabari Simama, Shalise Young.

6 – 8pm Lindsay Street Baptist Church Get an understanding of Navigating Transgender Legal Issues with guest speaker Taylor Brown of Lambda Legal.

7 – 8:30pm Johns Creek United Methodist Church

WEDNESDAY, FEB. 20

The 19th annual edition of the Atlanta Jewish Film Festival runs through Feb. 26 at various venues and includes some LGBTQ fare.

TEN Atlanta will once again transform from a crowded dance club into a cozy NYC Cabaret for consecutive Wednesday nights tonight with Boys Night “OUT” on Broadway, a one-hour musical and comedy revue written by Broadway veteran performer Robert Ray. 7 and 9pm

THURSDAY, FEB. 21

Join the office of Community Outreach and the United Ebony Society of Gwinnett County as they celebrate Black History

CONTINUES ON PAGE 25 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

BEST BETS CONTINUED FROM PAGE 24 Month. The celebration and program will include performances, speakers, and proclamation reading. Refreshments will be provided.

6 – 8pm Gwinnett Justice and Administration Center Out Front Theatre Company presents the Southeastern premiere of the play “Porcelain,” a suspenseful examination of an alienated young man’s life filled with mystery and murder.

8pm, through Feb. 23 Atlanta Ballet Caleb Lee Hutchinson, from Dallas, GA, and the runner-up on Season 16 of “American Idol,” plays Eddie’s Attic.

9:15pm

FRIDAY, FEB. 22

The Atlanta Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce hosts its Membership Drive & Networking Night.

5:30 – 7:30pm TWELVE at Atlantic Station

Out director Kent Gash has returned to the Alliance Theatre, where he formerly worked, to helm the new drama “Goodnight, Tyler.”

8pm, through March 10

SATURDAY, FEB. 23

Hosted by the Zami Nobla National Organization of Black Lesbians on Aging, the Annual Audre Lorde Scholarship Benefit and Community Awards is tonight, with the keynote address

by Simone Bell. The emcee is Kendra Nicole Bryant, and the event will also feature poetry by Kamilah Aisha Moon.

7 – 9pm Hotel Indigo – College Park The Rho Kappa Lambda Chapter of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc. and the RKL Education Foundation, Inc. cordially invite you to attend the 9th Annual Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Unity Breakfast today. The program will acknowledge and recognize individuals, groups and corporations within the Gwinnett community promoting diversity through leadership, innovation, and community volunteerism.

9 – 11am 550 Trackside-Historic Event Facility Come see The Queeriety Variety Show on the last Saturday of every month. Each show will be jam-packed with improvisation, live sketch comedy, stand-up comedy, puppetry, and drag performances.

11pm The Village Theater Leonce, the co-founder of Atlanta’s MORPH party, makes his Banshee Late Night debut.

11pm – 2am

SUNDAY, FEB. 24

EVENT SPOTLIGHT FRIDAY, FEB. 22

The Glitz & Glam show on Friday night at Lips Atlanta and filled with over the top glamour, big hair, high heels and a lot of duct tape, hosted by the legendary Charlie Brown.

7:30 and 10pm

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Mickey Friedman returns to Xion Atlanta for an early morning spin.

3am BJ Roosters Out On Film joins forces with the Atlanta Film Festival, Bronzelens Film Festival, Women and Film in Television Atlanta and the Plaza Theatre Foundation for an Oscar viewing party. Doors open at 6:30pm. At 7pm will be some

EVENT SPOTLIGHT “LOVE TRUMPS HATE” DANCE PARTY WITH JOE GAUTHREAUX

As soon Joe Gauthreaux (above left) steps behind the DJ booth, he’s got several goals in mind: uplift, enlighten, and take the crowd higher into musical bliss. The “Love Trumps Hate” party this Presidents’ Day Weekend, put on by Atlanta promoter, Keith Allen Young, sets the perfect tone to wash out current political undertones and share messages of love and acceptance.

Gauthreaux moved to Atlanta in 2017, previously living in Los Angeles and New York while traveling the world sharing his love for music. Since arriving, he’s been a focal point at popular events in the metro, bringing a new sound and new energy to an evolving circuit scene.

“Atlanta has this energy about it when it comes to putting on events,” said Gauthreaux.

“I’m always looking for things that break the norm and bring the community together.”

He, along with hundreds of men across Atlanta will descend on District Nightclub for a Sunday night party like no other. Doors open at 7pm, and the party goes until midnight.

For more info and tickets, visit the “Love Trumps Hate Dance Party” Facebook page.

Oscar trivia and the awards start at 8pm.

The event will also have an Oscar pool contest with prizes. Award-fab attire encouraged. The event is a ‘pay what you can’ donation and proceeds go towards participating organizations.

MONDAY, FEB. 25

Play Texas Hold’Em for free.

8:30pm Friends Neighborhood Bar

TUESDAY, FEB. 26

Enjoy rotating DJs and pool at Bulldogs tonight.

WEDNESDAY, FEB. 27

The Auburn Avenue Research Library, in collaboration with Charis Books & More, will host educator Shani Robinson and journalist Anna Simonton, as they

discuss their newest publication, “None of the Above: The Untold Story of the Atlanta Public School Cheating Scandal, Corporate Greed and the Criminalization of Educators.” The event is free and open to the public.

6 – 7:30pm

THURSDAY, FEB. 28

Join MAAP, Bill Kaelin Marketing, and PALS (Pets Are Loving Support) for a night of fun and networking with a complimentary Got Moxy cocktail and some great giveaways courtesy of Tito’s, Bill Kaelin Marketing, and the Moxy Hotel – Midtown’s brand new hotel hot spot. The evening’s giveaways include: an overnight stay at Moxy, an overnight stay at the AC Hotel, complimentary bar tabs, dinners for two, prizes for your dog and more.

7 – 8:30pm

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Stinky Flying Melissa Carter It’s no secret I am not a fan of flying, yet I do it anyway thanks to the Xanax I have been prescribed for traveling since my transplant.

But this last vacation out West proved the worst flight for many sober passengers on board, for a reason even the pilot said he hasn’t seen in his 30-plus years of flying.

I flew to Phoenix on MLK Day during the government shutdown. That means I showed up at Hartsfield-Jackson four hours early, in case a majority of TSA workers decided to take the day off in protest. Of course, I got through security in half-an-hour. Finally, aboard the flight, I saw a woman and a service dog in the aisle in front of me. Once I sat down the dog was out of view, and I forgot about it as I put on my headphones and lulled myself into a medicated haze.

It’s about a 4-hour flight to Phoenix from Atlanta. A little over half-way through the trip the dog popped into my view in a panic state, hugging its master. The woman then walked the dog down the aisle toward the back of the plane, for what I assumed was a walk to calm its nerves.

They were gone for a few minutes, and upon return, the dog was no less frantic than before, so the woman then took the dog toward the front. A flight attendant came to speak with the man who was seated next to the dog owner, and I slipped my headphones off one ear to eavesdrop. I caught that the dog had apparently vomited where it had rested near the man, and I guess she was making sure he was ok.

26 Columnists February 15, 2019

And then I smelled something. At first, I thought maybe coffee was being brewed since it had a warm fragrance, but then realized it came from the dog. And not the end vomit comes from.

Assuming it would dissipate, the smell only grew stronger and I noticed other passengers were trying to cover their noses. The flight attendants were moving at a quicker pace and seemed to concentrate their efforts near the front galley. One came back to talk with the man in front of me again, and that’s when I learned the dog was a service dog in training and had diarrhea that it released all over the front section of the plane. Yes, the dog shit on first class.

I must admit I laughed at that. We had an hour-and-a-half left in the flight, and I wished there was a window I could open in the meantime. The pilot gave us that option, as he came on to let us know we would be making an emergency flight to El Paso to allow the dog and its trainer off the plane.

Hazmat crews would be boarding to clean the mess before we resumed our trip.

The more you fly, odds are something unique will present itself during the trip. In this case, it was a situation no one had experienced before.

At least the dog was put out of its misery and as another passenger exclaimed after all was said and done, “That’s the cleanest this plane has likely been since it was built.”

One of the first out radio personalities in Atlanta, Melissa’s worked for B98.5 and Q100. Catch her daily on theProgressive Voices podcast “She Persisted.” Tweet her! @MelissaCarter www.thegeorgiavoice.com

SOMETIMES ‘Y’

Leveraging a Lack of Secrets STORAGE

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Ryan Lee It was adorable to hear my 92-year-old grandma talking about the gentleman friend she recently met, but for the past week, I’ve been wondering whether I should have checked her cell phone to make sure the guy didn’t court her with dick pics. As condescending as our society can be toward young people (particularly their impulse control and relationship to technology), the Jeff Bezos sexting scandal suggests there’s plenty of non-millennials using their cell phones for more than making calls.

It’s not a bad idea to be cautious while swiping through our parents’ photo albums since many of today’s seniors were (and apparently still are) members of the free love generation. Any elderly care expert or sex epidemiologist can attest to the shenanigans regularly taking place in assisted-living facilities, so it wouldn’t be surprising if baby boomers are incorporating their freakiness into their online activities.

I’m unsure if it’s more disheartening that the richest human being to ever inhabit the earth is out here posing for what could be a profile picture on Tinder, or that there are some gay hook-up apps with policies and users prudish enough to flag the type of selfies Bezos took on his phone. According to his online confession, the National Enquirer tried to blackmail Bezos with a “below the belt selfie – otherwise colloquially known as a “dick pic.”

I enjoy any incident that dispels the selfloathing lament often seen in hook-up ads that gay men are sexually tacky or uniquely depraved. Our horniness is one of the most universal aspects of our human identity and having liberated ourselves from one form of shame, it’s disappointing how many of us yearn to be as sexually constrained as the average heterosexual.

Bezos’s response to the National Enquirer ploy evokes an axiom I learned as a closeted gay man in my early twenties: you are only as weak as your secrets. I remember bitter queens threatening to out me to friends and the campus organizations I belonged to, and how I resented myself for being in a position where someone could bully or destroy me. www.thegeorgiavoice.com

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My desire to wrest control of my truth accelerated my coming out process as much as any notion of self-love. What information do you think you can disclose about me that I haven’t already shared?

It’s a mindset I’ve extended to other parts of my life that might be exploited as kompromat, from smoking weed to cruising bathhouses. For me, part of living authentically has been about preparing my loved ones not to be surprised by any sex or drug scandal that manifests in an extortion attempt or police report.

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I was able to leverage my life of candor into a rare form of customer service a few weeks ago when a marijuana dealer shorted me a gramand-a-half of weed. After initially indicating he would correct his error, the weed dealer attempted to delay the issue until I faded away.

Unfortunately for him, he took my payment via a Cash app profile that included his government name, which I easily linked to his Facebook account and discovered he was a closet case with a white collar job. I drafted a post about how I hate getting hit up by amateur drug dealers on gay hookup sites, then sent it to the weed dealer along with a screenshot of his Facebook profile.

While a part of me was uncomfortable exhibiting narc tendencies, I was not going to report the dealer to his job or the police, but instead, offer an unconcealed account of my daily life to my social media friends.

Thankfully, the amateur drug dealer didn’t have the boldness and honesty of Jeff Bezos, and I received a refund within minutes, because we are only as weak as our secrets, too.

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