H is for Hypocrisy

PRESENTS

IS FOR

HYPOCRISY An Ode to the GOP

H is for Hypocrisy Aven Frey Illustrated by Gavin MacPherson

grandoldhypocrisy.com

H is for Hypocrisy Text copyright Š 2015 by Aven Frey Illustrations copyright Š 2015 All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For information address gavinmacdesign@gmail.com www.gavinmacpherson.com

For Kellas May your world be more honest.

’s for abortion, the wedgiest of issues No exceptions for rape, no donation of tissues

is for Bush, oh please not another Like father, like son; like brother, like brother

is for Citizens, United by spending Corporations are people, and politicians need tending

’s for dissemble, deny or dispute

Whatever your dissonance, render it moot

is for equivocate, a tactic that’s effective Just insist upon your honesty, accuse them of invective

is for fiscal, a conservative facade Spending’s for rich people, the military, and god

is for grandstanding: a fake filibuster can burnish credentials with firebrand lustre

is for hypocrisy, with Ayn as their queen Our greed and self-interest is what makes us free

is for ignorance, Fox News’ contribution “ Facts” tend to counter dogmatic solutions

is for justice, selectively dispensed #AllLivesMatter is an essential pretense

is for Koch, a Republican habit The whole GOP, a party of addicts

is for Layoffs, the CEO’s answer No paid leave for illness, babies, or cancer

is for marriage, Supreme Court Sedition Equal rights goes against conservative tradition

is for nuance, it’s best to ignore it If you can’t understand, just dismiss or deplore it

’s for Obamacare, a Republican bane Because it is working, it drives them insane

is for paranoid, so many delusions They’ll take away your guns, then shred the constitution

is for queer, like a megachurch preacher, some white pants, a wide stance, and a former school teacher

is for rape, just make sure it’s legitimate Sluts, wives, and drugs leave us feeling ambivalent

is for Salad, we make it with words A great way to obfuscate, feign, or obscure

is for tax cuts, and trickle-down theory Apparently math is Republican heresy

is for Unions, they must be destroyed Exploitation is harder when the empowered are employed

is for values, the family kind Josh Duggar, Kim Davis, and Newt’s three sad wives

is for welfare, what’s in a name?

We say “tax deduction” when wealth is the frame

is for xenophobe, build a big wall So much for liberty and justice for all

is for you, your beliefs are most important Your comfort matters more than facts that are abhorrent

is for zealot, can’t win if you’re not ignoble, dishonest, and fallacy fraught