PRESENTS
IS FOR
HYPOCRISY An Ode to the GOP
H is for Hypocrisy Aven Frey Illustrated by Gavin MacPherson
grandoldhypocrisy.com
H is for Hypocrisy Text copyright Š 2015 by Aven Frey Illustrations copyright Š 2015 All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For information address gavinmacdesign@gmail.com www.gavinmacpherson.com
For Kellas May your world be more honest.
’s for abortion, the wedgiest of issues No exceptions for rape, no donation of tissues
is for Bush, oh please not another Like father, like son; like brother, like brother
is for Citizens, United by spending Corporations are people, and politicians need tending
’s for dissemble, deny or dispute
Whatever your dissonance, render it moot
is for equivocate, a tactic that’s effective Just insist upon your honesty, accuse them of invective
is for fiscal, a conservative facade Spending’s for rich people, the military, and god
is for grandstanding: a fake filibuster can burnish credentials with firebrand lustre
is for hypocrisy, with Ayn as their queen Our greed and self-interest is what makes us free
is for ignorance, Fox News’ contribution “ Facts” tend to counter dogmatic solutions
is for justice, selectively dispensed #AllLivesMatter is an essential pretense
is for Koch, a Republican habit The whole GOP, a party of addicts
is for Layoffs, the CEO’s answer No paid leave for illness, babies, or cancer
is for marriage, Supreme Court Sedition Equal rights goes against conservative tradition
is for nuance, it’s best to ignore it If you can’t understand, just dismiss or deplore it
’s for Obamacare, a Republican bane Because it is working, it drives them insane
is for paranoid, so many delusions They’ll take away your guns, then shred the constitution
is for queer, like a megachurch preacher, some white pants, a wide stance, and a former school teacher
is for rape, just make sure it’s legitimate Sluts, wives, and drugs leave us feeling ambivalent
is for Salad, we make it with words A great way to obfuscate, feign, or obscure
is for tax cuts, and trickle-down theory Apparently math is Republican heresy
is for Unions, they must be destroyed Exploitation is harder when the empowered are employed
is for values, the family kind Josh Duggar, Kim Davis, and Newt’s three sad wives
is for welfare, what’s in a name? We say “tax deduction” when wealth is the frame
is for xenophobe, build a big wall So much for liberty and justice for all
is for you, your beliefs are most important Your comfort matters more than facts that are abhorrent
is for zealot, can’t win if you’re not ignoble, dishonest, and fallacy fraught