My story.....

May this story give you the hope and inspiration you need to believe that there is life after abuse.

I am Zen Williams, the founder of RISE. I am a survivor or narcissistic abuse, domestic violence and revenge porn.

My story as a survivor in a nutshell.

I hope this offers someone, anyone hope to carry on no matter what.

2013 - The emotional abuse started.

2014 - The physical abuse, gaslighting and mental abuse began.

2015 - The abuse escalated and the attacks became more frequent, I thought I was losing my mind. I tried to leave several times.

I also lost my job due to the abuse, I was not showing up for work, I was not working efficiently and I was exhausted. I tried to find other employment but I was broken and lost faith in my abilities.

At this point, I was not only dealing with my abuser but all the people he enabled to perpetrate more abuse against me. He effectively turned them against me by sharing intimate information about me and by manufacturing 99% lies. He also told people I was part of financial scams. What I really was doing was selling my own goods to survive.

The people around me thought I was doing this to myself because I wanted attention. This continued for years and stopped in 2020 when I started enforcing my rights legally.

I turned to substances. Substances helped me cope. It brought me up and the drinking levelled me out. By 2016 I was a full blown coc@in addict. It helped, I won’t lie. (I don’t recommend this to anyone, so please don’t use this as an option to kill the pain)

I knew it was wrong but it was the only thing to stop the depression and the constant crying.

I also figured it may just be the way out because I cursed the existence of a new day. Waking up for me, was like reliving the nightmare daily.

2016 (Feb) - I finally escaped but the cyberstalking, harassment and bullying only just began.

2016 (June) - I found the website he authored about me which included revenge porn. I did not deal with this well and struggled mentally and emotionally. It destroyed me.

2018 (Dec) - I fled my city to escape the abuse, stalking, harassment and intimidation.

I tried to open several police cases. Law enforcement had no idea help to help me.

2017-2019 - was the worst 3 years of my life. I lost friends, family, my children, my dog, accommodation, my car, my credit record, my self worth, my courage and my strength. I wanted to die. I would beg God everyday to let me die.

2020 (March) - I decided enough was enough and I picked myself up with the help of my current husband and decided to fight back and begin healing. I stopped all substances. I did not go to a rehab centre and I didn’t follow the 12 step program. I decided it was over.

I made the choice. I still had substances with me during lock down but it was there so I didn’t “crave” and go buy more. 8 months later I flushed it down the toilet without using any.

2020 (May) I opened criminal charges against my abusers.

2020 (Nov) I opened the RISE organisation, got my children back, found my purpose, continued my healing journey, and began to feel that I had a chance in this world again.

2021 - I became stronger and more confident. I still didn’t leave the house though.

2022 - I made my first friend since 2013, I trust her. She is my bestie.

2022 - I signed up for a family mediation course and doing well. I am a divorce and family mediator but still need to be accredited.

I am strong, I am confident, I am still healing, I am slowly regaining trust in humanity but i still have bad days. I still don’t leave the house and I am still terrified of people.

Update: The National Prosecuting Authority declined to prosecute my case which is why we are moving in for a private prosecution. It will take a long time to accumulate funds but we will continue to try. Cybercrime in South Africa has never been successfully prosecuted (not this kind of cybercrime anyway)

Lastly, I would not have made my way though this cess pool of chaos and abuse without my husband and my newly established support structure through RISE. The people I have built relationships with on this journey have been nothing less than phenomenal. Thank you for your continued support, your validation and your help to get through the hardest time of my life. I am so grateful to all of you.

I will continue to try, continue to heal and continue to be of service to victims and survivors. This is my life purpose!

You can do this. It’s difficult, but don’t give up even when you feel you can’t anymore.

We all deserve a second chance at life.

Zen Williams Founder of RISE