Traverse City Christian School Magazine - Spring 2022

Messenger The

Spring 2022

Sabre Couples Love finds us in many ways.

LEGEND! CHRISTMAS CRUNCHER COMES TO TOWN

Rene

LaFreniere Basketball Coach

Spring 2022

The Messenger

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Campus Close-Up

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Sabre Couples

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Legend!

Christmas Cruncher Comes To Town

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3 Strategies That Will Completely Change the Way You Discipline Your Child

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Mission Trip

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Is It Time To Make a Change In Life?

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Rene LaFreniere Basketball Coach

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Pull Over!

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Sports Highlights

A publication of Traverse City Christian School 753 Emerson Road, Traverse City, MI 49696 (231) 929-1747 | www.tcchristian.org

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Sabre Couples Meet eight alumni of TCCS who found their soulmates in the hallways of our school and experienced their childhood friendships turn into everlasting love.

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Legend!

The Orpheus Process A Chance To Lead

By Scott Tebben

Christmas Cruncher Comes To Town The phenomenon known as Christmas Cruncher blew into town a tad late this year but the experience was nonetheless electric.

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3 Strategies That Will Completely Change the Way You Discipline Your Child You can discipline your child while staying emotionally connected to him.

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Is It Time To Make a Change In Life?

The board meeting began at 7:30am, in the church conference room, on a Friday morning.

A recent blog post by David Willows caught my eye. In 1972, a young cellist by the name of Julian Fifer, along with a small group of like-minded musicians, came together to create an orchestra without a conductor.

David writes that almost fifty years later, the Orpheus Orchestra continues not only to be critically acclaimed as a musical phenomenon, but it has inspired companies and organizations across the world to rethink traditional models of leadership.

What makes Orpheus so different? It invites every member of the orchestra to participate in leadership positions, either leading the group in rehearsal and performance as concertmaster, or by leading one of the orchestra’s many different formal or informal teams.

So what does this all have to do with TC Christian?

Our school, like Orpheus, is one in which leadership is shared.

Everyone is deeply involved, determining together - the direction of the school and how ‘the music should be played’, all of which requires personal engagement. As David writes, “Like Orpheus, everyone owns the vision. Everyone rotates in and out of roles.

Everyone is a leader, all the time.”

Our leadership team is currently recruiting new members. If you sense God calling you to serve, I encourage you to step forward. There are some basic requirements but take it from a guy who’s new to all this, it’s so worth it. Our school is experiencing some amazing growth and I can’t wait to see the music God has in store for us. Just maybe, you’ll have a chance to play.

Scott Tebben is the Chairman of the Traverse City Christian School Board. He can be reached at 231.633.7453.

Publisher Traverse City Christian School 753 Emerson Road Traverse City, MI 49696 231-929-1747 Editor Craig O’Connor Contributing Writers Amanda Renkiewicz Craig O’Connor Patty Prihoda Meg Meeker Terry Porter Tyler Van Schepen Graphic Designer GATHER Media LLC Advertising coconnor@tcchristian.org

Email Publisher Hannah Bouwmeester for more information - hannah@gatherveterans.com. Or give her a call and chat about your vision to be part of our amazing GATHER Family 231-492-7870.

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Copyright @2022 Traverse City Christian.

All rights reserved. Individual works also copyrighted by their originators. Reproduction in whole or in part is strictly prohibited without prior written permission. We do not assume any liability for errors or omissions. Traverse City Christian does not necessarily endorse any of the attractions, products or services contained within.

Campus Close-Up Solar System Models Lauren Dalstra (6th Grade), displays her model of the solar system.

Math Buddies The Freshmen Math class buddied up with their elementary pals to explore Math together.

New PTO President “Hi! I am Kate Gilgallon and I have the awesome privilege of being your PTO President this school year. I am a former student (Class of 2011) and this school has always held a special place in my heart. I am happily married to my husband, Tyler, and together we have four children, three of whom are Sabres: Isabelle (3rd grade), Jude (2nd grade), Vincent (Pre K), and Desmond. In the Fall, all four will be at TCCS! I am looking forward to connecting with the parents and students through our many planned, fun-filled activities! If you are interested in finding out more about PTO and/or getting involved, please contact me. Thank you!”

Juniors and 5th Graders Team Up The Juniors partnered up with their 5th grade buddies for a practical wild west experience during American history.

Sheriff Weemhoff laid down the law and Deputy Erickson honchoed the camera.

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Thanksgiving Celebration In anticipation of Thanksgiving, a huge turnout of TC Christian folk gathered for the annual Thanksgiving Dessert Buffet and feasted on an immense array of goodies bound to please the sweetest of teeth.

Thank you to Jen Brower and her dedicated team of volunteers for making the 2021 event something special.

A Student of Students Student teacher, Jackson Wade, bade farewell to his class earlier this year.

Jackson is the brother of Haden Wade (TCCS 6th grade) and was interning in 5th Grade under Faith Erickson’s guidance.

Jackson observed, helped in the classroom, and even taught a lesson. He will be missed by Faith and her students.

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Christmas Tree Lighting and Carols As the calendar flipped to December, TC Christian families gathered to light the campus Christmas trees and sing carols. Fortified by chili and hot chocolate (thank you, PTO), and warmed by a handful of cozy fires, TCCS families kicked off the Christmas season in one of the nicest ways possible: with each other and our eyes on Jesus.

The Christmas Store Each year, Santa’s Helpers (aka the PTO) turn the school library into a Christmas store and help the Elementary students select the ideal gifts for their families.

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Preschoolers Celebrate A Special Birthday

Christmas Countdown The students enjoyed their Countdown to Christmas Break, reminding us all exactly how many days there were until the Christmas vacation began.

Cherry Fest Prince & Princess Congratulations to First graders Harry Watson & Adelaide Radtke who will be representing TC Christian as Prince & Princess in the 2022 Cherry Festival.

Field Trip

An Evening Out Thanks to some generous donors, the TC Christian staff and board were able to celebrate Christmas together along with some vitally important, but often unseen, members of the team: their spouses. It was a night to make new friends and enjoy some relaxing fellowship.

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The 1st graders took a field trip to the Cognition Science and Discovery Center.

Brekky Day Dr. B’s Big Bacon Breakfast Blowout (plus a bunch of other stuff) aka Brekky is an annual affair that quietly brings joy to many. Brekky started years ago when TC Christian’s HS Bible and Apologetics teacher, Tom Broderick, pressed into service a number of willing volunteers to cook enormous breakfasts for anyone who wanted one, served whenever they wanted it. Assorted alumni and available high schoolers descend on the school kitchen on a random day in January and make it their personal mission to give you your money’s worth.

Guns N Hoses Hockey Fundraiser The annual “Guns N Hoses” hockey fundraiser selected TC Christian family, the Sandulas, to be the beneficiaries of this year’s event. TCCS dad, John Sandula, and his daughter, Snow (TCCS 3rd Grade), are in separate medical battles and we were blessed to help. The event was held at Centre ICE Arena on Saturday, February 26th and raised almost $20,000!!

Math Buddies The 3rd graders and their Freshmen buddies solved math problems together.

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Sabre Couples

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True love stories never have endings.

– Richard Bach

Love finds us in many ways. As we grow, we’re blessed with the love of family through storge, the instinctive affection between parents and their children. We experience philia, the love of friends and equals as we begin forming bonds with others.

Through the teachings of empathy, we carry agape, a love of mankind. If we’re blessed, at some point in our lives we experience eros, a passionate love between two people. This greatest of love is something people search entire lifetimes for and protect when it’s found.

For eight alumni of TCCS, they found their soulmates in the hallways of our school and experienced their childhood friendships turn into everlasting love. Meet four couples on different walks of life who became high school sweethearts and shared their stories.

Matt and Marisa (Miller) Yeiter The Yeiters are both Traverse City natives whose families have known each other their whole lives.

“We’d gone to elementary school at Traverse Bay Christian for several years together,” explains Matt. “At that time, TCCS was only 7th-12th grade, so we started our 7th grade year (though Marisa is a year younger). We liked each other in elementary school and still have notes and letters we wrote to each other in 5th and 6th grade,” he recalls.

“Once we were both at TCCS, our relationship continued to grow. Marisa couldn’t officially date until she was age 16, but our parents allowed us to spend time together with each other’s families (which ended up being most Sunday afternoons).

Once Marisa turned 16, we were allowed to go on our first official date which was at Poppycocks restaurant downtown. Unbeknownst to us, her grandparents had the same plans and sat in the booth behind us! They tried to pay for our meal, but I insisted on paying for our first date.”

They continued dating throughout high school and both attended Cedarville University in Ohio.

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live in the dorms with friends before marriage. Matt proposed the summer before his senior year and Marisa worked through the summer to get classes done and graduate in 3 years.

They were married three weeks after graduating Cedarville in May 2011, had a week-long honeymoon, and moved to Indianapolis the next week for Matt’s job to start.

“One of the favorite parts of our wedding was having so many friends and former teachers from TCCS in attendance,” they agree. “Much of our wedding party were friends that we’d made from high school - and they continue being some of our closest friends today.”

Moving away from family as newlyweds had its challenges, but it forced them to lean on God and each other even more. “It took a leap of faith to leave what was known and comfortable, but God has faithfully provided for us every step of the way,” Marisa says. “Being far from family has been challenging, but we are confident the Lord has us right where He wants us, and we have peace and comfort knowing He is guiding us.” They follow a piece of advice from their premarital counseling, where the pastor reminded them that the purpose of marriage is to make you more like Christ, along with Proverbs 3:5-6, both providing a foundation for their life together.

“The best part of marriage so far has been our kids. Watching them grow and develop into who God’s made them to be has brought us so much joy,” Marisa says. “We’ve been married for ten years and have three kids (Luke age 7, Lydia age 4 1/2, and Lauren age 2 1/2). I feel fortunate to be home with the kids, and Matt is a co-owner of a financial planning firm in Indianapolis, IN.” The Yeiters wanted to add, “Traverse City Christian has played such an important role in our lives. We are so thankful for the relationships we’ve built, both with teachers and friends, that have lasted a lifetime. We still consider the people we grew up with at TCCS to be some of our dearest friends, even 15 years after graduation. We are so thankful for Traverse City Christian School!”

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Adam and Kristin (Waligorski) Miller Adam was born in Allegan, Michigan but moved to Traverse City when he was four, so it’s been home for as long as he can remember. He’s a commercial real estate developer and entrepreneur. His wife, Kristin, was born in Lansing and attended New Covenant Christian school where her mom (Julie) served as secretary to the administrator. Her family moved to Traverse City her freshman year of high school when Julie was offered the same position at Traverse City Christian School.

“The first day of our freshman year,” recounts Adam, “Jim Prince (art and science teacher) pulled me aside and said, ‘Adam, there’s a new girl in school this year, and she has ‘Adam Miller’ written all over her forehead’. Mr. Prince was one of my favorite teachers, and of course, he was right,” Adam laughs. “Kristin

and I became great friends almost immediately. We had very different personalities, but we were both serious about the same things: God and basketball. We laughed a lot (especially at ourselves), but we also challenged each other. Kristin is super smart and much more studious than I was. I turned in a lot more of my homework once we started hanging out.”

Their courtship began during sophomore year. “One day, Kristen’s mom, Julie, handed me two tickets to a magic show and asked me if I wanted to take Kristin,” Adam says. “Of course, I was thrilled to have an opportunity to take Kristin on our first date and excited that her mom was at least somewhat encouraging it. We got dressed up and headed to the Park Place for the show. When we got to the front desk the concierge told us the event was not in the dome or at the top as we expected, but downstairs in the ballroom. Surprised by the choice of venue, we headed to the basement. When we

walked into the room, it all made a lot more sense. This wasn’t a professional magician as we had expected, but more of a clown for a kid’s birthday party. There we sat all dressed up surrounded by 3- to 5-year-old kids and their parents as a clown did balloon animals and other simple magic tricks. It was awkward, but all we could do was laugh. It was the perfect first date.”

Adam wanted to add, “I’m still not sure if Julie knew and was trying to shake me, or if she just wanted to make sure we had a lot of supervision.”

Though they remained interested in each other all through high school, they didn’t start dating more seriously until the end of their junior year (Kristin’s choice).

“I remember praying and telling God that I would pursue Kristin until April 1st and if she wasn’t ready to be my girlfriend, I would

just move on and be her friend,” Adam remembers. “One day, Kristin and I were driving around town and she asked if we could pull over to talk. We stopped by the Burger King in Meijer parking lot, and she told me she was ready to be my girlfriend. That was March 31, 1999. I’m not sure God works that way, but I like to tease Kristin that she almost lost me.

We dated the rest of high school.

Kristin stayed home and attended NMC the first year and I went off to Cedarville University in Ohio.

Distance was tough, but I made the 6-hour drive home 17 times that year.”

He continues, “We were still young, but after getting the blessing from her parents and my parents, I bought an engagement ring.

Kristin joined me at Cedarville for our Sophomore year and that fall I asked her to marry me. We were married the summer before

our Junior year (20 years old) and celebrated at the Park Place (this time in the dome). We did not invite the clown.”

Their faith story is an inspiration.

“Kristin and I were both saved at a young age and raised in homes that loved the Lord and made church and Christian education a priority,” says Adam. “We are both passionate about making disciples and had the privilege of helping to plant Harvest Bible Chapel in Traverse City in 2012. We’ve been fully engaged at Harvest over the last 10 years serving on worship teams and as small group leaders. We are excited to see God continue to work in the lives of the families that attend Harvest including our own children.” They have four children who all attend TCCS: Austin (age 14/9th Grade), Abigail (age 13/7th Grade), Clayton (age 11/5th Grade), Grace (age 6/ Kindergarten).

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Kristin and Adam have truly grown up together. “We’ll celebrate 20 years married this summer. One of the greatest challenges to our marriage early on was that we were still maturing and discovering exactly who we wanted to be. The only thing we knew was that we wanted to do it together. Kristin continued to be the greatest source of strength and encouragement for me through some very difficult seasons. We’re best friends and we get along well. The challenge in that for a marriage is that it’s easy to become good roommates.

We’ve had to work to continue to pursue one another and grow as a couple.”

When asked the best part of their marriage, Adam replied, “The best part has been to have a front row seat to God’s work in each other’s lives. Neither one of us is the same person we were 20 years ago, and we’ve been able to watch God grow us and our spouse. We’ve had peaks and valleys in our relationship, but God has been faithful through it all and we love that we got to do it together.”

The Millers have been fortunate with supportive mentors throughout their marriage. “We have been the beneficiaries of a lot of wonderful counsel over 14 | The Messenger

the years. We’ve been blessed with pastors, parents, and friends that have pressed into our relationship and helped us to grow as a couple. I think the greatest source of strength to our relationship is the people we’ve surrounded ourselves with. When we’ve faced difficult seasons or circumstances, we’ve opened ourselves up to the care and counsel of others, the people that we trust to point us to Christ and what God’s word calls us to as a husband and wife. Practically, I think one of the greatest pieces of relational advice (marriage or otherwise) is to assume the best of the other person. Pr. Lou and Patti Damiani are both heroes to Kristin and I and they are like communication ninjas.

They’ve given us lots of practical tools for asking clarifying questions and giving one another grace.

We all want to be understood, but when we focus on understanding the other person instead of being understood, it diffuses a lot of situations.”

As a family, the Millers have a couple of verses that they follow that have been a source of challenge and encouragement for them: Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Aaron and Molly (Ritsema) Kostrzewa The best basis for a relationship is often friendship, and Aaron and Molly Kostrzewa were good friends before falling in love. They both grew up in Traverse City and met since their older sisters attended TC Christian and participated in sports together. They attended TC Christian from 2008-2014, running cross country, track, and for the same role as class president in 8th grade (which was a big point of contention - Molly won). They began spending more time together when they participated in a co-op cross country through Grand Traverse Academy and recognized that they have similar interests and goals.

After graduation, Aaron and Molly went to different colleges and

stopped dating while their focuses were elsewhere. “We kept in touch and after a few years into our careers, we began seeing each other again,” Molly explains. “It was evident at this time that God had brought us together for a reason. During our engagement, Aaron had an elective knee surgery that went south with a major infection.

The three surgeries and multiple hospitalizations were difficult but it’s the trials in life that bring us closer to the Lord and closer together and for that we are grateful.”

On November 12th, 2021, they made their lifelong commitment to each other. “Our wedding was actually officiated by a dear friend and one of our high school teachers, Pastor Anthony Weber,” says Molly, “and Dr. Broderick (TCCS teacher for Bible and Apologetics) basically decided

our first dance song for us, “Open Arms” by Journey.

Aaron and Molly both appreciate the value they gained through their education at TCCS. “The foundation we received at TC Christian has helped us form our worldviews. There are many aspects of life it has touched and to this day there are still principles and quotes by teachers that we still discuss.”

“We’re new to marriage but we are overwhelmingly grateful for the gift of marriage,” they say.

“God uses marriage to refine us.

We’re currently living in Seattle, Washington for a few months as Molly is a travel nurse. Our home is Traverse City, but we love to travel.” They also follow advice from their family friend Charlotte Gray, who recommended, “Make sure you marry someone who makes you laugh!”

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Joe and Emily (Kinney) Millward Emily and Joe both grew up in a Christian home: Emily grew up as a pastor’s daughter and Joe’s dad is now a pastor and he, too, was a pastor’s kid. They met when they were 14 and 15 at Faith Reformed Church’s Youth Group. “We were best friends at first, but then over time things grew into more than a friendship,” Emily says. “We got married when we were 19 and 20 years of age (I’m actually older than Joe.) Joe is a custom home builder and started Millward Custom Homes shortly after we got married.

I’ve had the joy and privilege of being able to stay at home and care for Joe and our five children, Joey, Isabelle (15), Joshua (13), Elijah (9), and Asher (3). Over time our faith has become our own and we love God more today than ever before.”

Emily attended TCCS the first year that it opened and was in the first graduating class to go through TCCS 7th-12th grade. After meeting Emily at youth group, Joe switched over to TCCS from St. Francis when he was in 9th grade. Emily graduated in 2001 and Joe graduated the following year. “We never really had a first date,” Emily recalls. “We truly were best friends first and spent a lot of our time together. We really did pretty much everything together.

We just naturally over time found our affection for one another grew from a friend to more than that. We knew from a very early age that God’s Will for our relationship was marriage. Marrying your best friend is TRULY a great blessing and joy!”

Like the boy who cried wolf, Joe Millward had cried proposal a few times too

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many. When he officially proposed to Emily, she didn’t believe him because he had “fake” proposed several times! “For example, once when we were out on a date at a restaurant, he started to act like he was going to get down on one knee and then he popped back up and announced he was going to the bathroom.... so, when he actually got down on one knee while I was at work, I just assumed he was joking but then he got the ring out and stayed on his knee and truly proposed,” Emily laughs. “Joe and I got married on August 2, 2003, at First Congregational Church and they hadn’t told us they were going to be in the process of remodeling and therefore would not have working air-conditioning...so our wedding ceremony was VERY hot! But not in the way one would want! Joe’s dad was the one who performed the ceremony and officially married us, so my dad gave me away and Joe’s dad officiated.”

“The best part of our marriage has been the blessing of being able to do life everyday with our best friend,” says Emily. “We’ve always known each other so well. When we went through marriage counseling, we took a compatibility test and our

score showed that we were too naive about what marriage would actually be like. Not sure what exactly that meant, we were eager to see! Honestly, it’s been a lot like we were hoping and dreaming it would be. Oh, don’t worry, we’ve had our downs and disagreements but when you lean on God to guide and direct you as a couple those things can be a beautiful thing that strengthens marriage.”

“Though we have been immensely blessed in our marriage and in our growing family, it hasn’t been without its BIG challenges,” Emily continues. “We had our first son, Joseph Ryan Jr (Little Joey), on September 7, 2004 (yep, 13 months after our wedding day) and three months later on December 10th we learned that our sweet boy had a very rare type of liver cancer. With God by our side every step of the way we watched and helped our sweet Joey for the next 17 months and just a day shy of

him turning 20 months old Jesus called him home to be with Him in Heaven on May 6, 2006. But all throughout that journey, God was nearer to us than ever before. He made His Presence known to us in the silliest and most important ways. But God, who always turns ashes into something beautiful, knew that our arms could not bear to be empty, and brought us a sweet baby girl, Isabelle, who was born 4 days before Joey passed away. For a moment we were a family of 4 and Isabelle was able to meet her brother before God called him home. We know that our God is a God who restores. It may not look like what we might think, and it may take longer than we would hope, but His timing is always perfect. When you look at the calendar, all our three boys who followed Bella’s birth - and even her birthday - encircle the day that Joey was called to Heaven.

It’s a huge reminder that God will take an immensely sad day and

surround it, encircle it truly, with blessings. Though that doesn’t erase our loss completely it definitely highlights that God loves us, has a greater plan for us, and HE will Restore.”

Hebrews 11 has been a passage that the Millwards have found comfort in as a couple. “It talks about all of those great men of faith who were promised something by God and endured hard journeys but never actually saw God’s promise come to fruition, although later, it absolutely did,” says Emily. “We have definitely had many moments in our marriage where all we had was our faith and man, did we cling to it in those difficult times. And now because of those hard times, where He has made Himself and His ways known, we can look back and know why it’s so important to have faith and TRUST HIM in all things. He is working things out for our good.”

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Legend!

Christmas Cruncher Comes To Town The phenomenon known as Christmas Cruncher blew into town a tad late this year but the experience was nonetheless electric. Started in 1996 when TC Christian was celebrating its first Christmas, Cruncher was the brainchild of TC Christian’s first Bible teacher, Susan Bonner. “It was a fun event to usher in the Christmas break,” said Susan. “In the early days of the school, we were trying to build community and camaraderie so we decided to create an event that noone would want to miss.”

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Positioned on the last day of school before the Christma break, Christmas Cruncher quickly became a highlight of the school calendar. From its first iteration as a school carnival designed to enrich student life and help kids break out of cliques, Cruncher now features food, games, goofy costumes, and lots of fun. The Middle and High school students organize themselves across grades and into teams, and then work their way through a series of obstacle courses and timed activities organized by students and faculty, and refereed by parents, staff, and alumni. The everpopular human bowling and group dance-off anchor the morning.

Prizes and most importantly, bragging rights, are all on offer.

Christmas Cruncher.

It’s a TC Christian tradition that brings our community together for fun and fellowship.

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Strategies

That Will Completely Change the Way You

Discipline Your Child

You can discipline your child while staying emotionally connected to him.

By Dr. Meg Meeker, MD

Dr. Meg Meeker, MD Practicing pediatrician, parent, grandparent, coach, speaker, and author. Say hello @ MegMeekerMD

What is your relationship like with your child? Take a moment to think about it. Are you close to her? Do you feel emotionally connected? Is there a foundation of trust? Staying relationally connected to your child from infancy to toddlerhood to childhood and beyond is crucial for your child to create healthy attachments as an adult.

This can feel like a daunting task, especially if your child is young and you feel like you are constantly disciplining him, saying no, and simply too busy trying to keep him alive to make sure you are staying emotionally connected to him.

I recently sat down with author, podcaster, and speaker Lisa Qualls to

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discuss parent connectedness at every age and stage. As the mother of 12 children (Yes, you read that correctly.), eight biological and four adopted, Qualls knows a thing or two about parenting. As the co-author of The Connected Parent: Real-Life Strategies for Building Trust and Attachment, which she wrote with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, she was the perfect person to talk to about healthy attachments.

“Every healthy relationship is built on the foundation of trust and connection,” says Lisa. “I really try to keep the relationship and the connection at the heart of my interactions.” Lisa explains this can be done even when you are navigating your toddler’s terrible twos and threes.

How? She offers three strategies.

‍

Staying connected with your child is tough work. It’s much easier to check out, say no all the time, or discipline with little regard to ensuring your child feels respected in the process.

1

Stick to the script.

Lisa has developed a method of disciplining or talking to your child in a straightforward way using scripts rather than long sentences and explanations.

Scripts are short, only two to three words, and quickly communicate what you need your child to do. For example, if your child doesn’t want to get dressed for school, don’t launch into an explanation about the weather and how he needs to stay warm. Instead, use a script that simply says: “You need to listen and obey.”

Or, if your daughter hits her brother, don’t explain why your

family doesn’t hit and how detrimental violence is. Instead, use a script such as, “No. We don’t do that.”

Don’t overcomplicate it. Stick to the script and your child will understand what’s needed of her without getting more frustrated than she already is. ‍

2

Say yes as often as you can.

This one might sound impossible, but Lisa isn’t saying let your child do whatever he wants. She’s saying even when you need to say no, include a yes. For example, if your child asks if he can stay up late on a The Messenger | 21

school night to watch a show, instead of immediately saying no, say, “You can stay up late on Friday night and watch a show, but not tonight.”

Saying yes makes your child feel more connected to you because a yes makes him feel heard and respected in a way that no can’t.

3 Provide choices.

When Lisa needs her child to do something, she will provide a choice in which the task will get done either way.

For example, if she wants her daughter to pick up her toys, she’ll say, “It’s time to pick up your toys. You can pick up the toys and hand them to me and I’ll put them in the basket,

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or you can put them in the basket yourself. Which would you like to do?”

Either way, her daughter will pick up her toys, but her daughter will feel the autonomy of choice and less like she’s receiving a demand from Lisa. This makes a child feel respected and helps maintain parent connectedness while teaching a child to obey her parents.

Staying connected with your child is tough work. It’s much easier to check out, say no all the time, or discipline with little regard to ensuring your child feels respected in the process. But staying connected on an emotional level is crucial, not only for your relationship with your child but for all of her future relationships.

I highly recommend you listen to my full podcast episode with Lisa Qualls here and read her book The Connected Parent.

Even if your child is older, it’s never too late to develop a healthy attachment with him that will teach him to develop healthy attachments with others.

Mission Trip

Seniors Lilly Rynbrandt and Julianna Brower reflect on their class mission trip to Mexico.

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Your Name: Lilly Rynbrandt

Your Name: Julianna Brower

What did you enjoy most about the mission trip?

Why? Working with the kids in the kids ministry and helping out with people in the community by sharing the Bible with them and sharing the gift of food.

What did God teach you on this trip? Did you see prayers answered?

One of the biggest things that God taught me on this trip was that He wants 100% of who I am no matter what. God has been by my side since I was 6 years old, but after watching him work in the ways that he did and seeing the faith of Pastor Manuel and his wife, I have realized that Jesus Christ is the only thing on the planet that deserves my whole heart and praise and worship.

We saw God answer prayers in ways that we never thought possible. It would be difficult to come back to Traverse City and live the life I did before I went on the mission trip after seeing God’s physical hand touch peoples hearts while we were in Mexico.

My perspective of the mission field was brought to a more realistic light in that God, in all of his complexity, moves in such simple ways.

Spreading God’s love is easy, we just have to take the time to actually show it. God is SO good and He made that crystal clear to me in Ensenada.

become more connected to them.

Tell us about one of the best experiences you had while on the mission trip?

Working with a little girl with Down’s syndrome named Jenny. She was such an amazing girl! She tried taking me home with her the first day of children’s ministry.

What Bible verse did you lean into while on this trip?

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

What was the most challenging or difficult part of your trip?

Saying goodbye to all the people I met on the trip was the hardest part.

Any plans to stay in touch with the people you met?

I really am hoping to go back to Ensenada on another missions trip in the next couple years!

What did God teach you on this trip? Did you see prayers answered?

God taught me on this trip to put down my ideas of what I am going to do and when I’m going to do it, and let God lead the way.

What surprised you most about your trip?

I was suprised at how much fun it was going to be! It was our last pick for our missions trip. We really wanted to go to Jamaica or Belize but God ended up taking us to Ensenada because He knew it was better for us.

How has your relationship with God changed because of the trip?

Yes, I have become more aware of what he is doing in my life and I have become more reliant on Him. How has your relationship with your classmates changed because of this trip?

Yes! I have gotten to know them a lot better and have

What would you say to encourage the Juniors who will leave on their own mission trip next school year?

Don’t get to caught up on the location but rather on the impact that you are going to make for the people in the place you go to!

What Bible verse did you lean into while on

this trip?

Micah 6:8 “...and what does the Lord require of you? To act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.” We are called to love mercy, spreading God’s love and grace to all we come in contact with.

This is an important step, and we tend to forget how big of an impact this simple action can cause. This was a verse that I had prepared to encourage or share with someone on our trip before we left. When we first got there, pastor Manuel spoke at church and this was the verse he encouraged us with.

Right away I knew that God had big plans for us and His name was going to be praised.

What would you say to encourage the Juniors who will leave on their own mission trip next school year?

Don’t be afraid to let the Lord speak through you.

God has no limits, which is incomprehensible, but so important to our faith and ministry. His timing is perfect, and He will present you with things you didn’t even know you needed, but quickly realize you do. Have your heart and mind open to learning things and vulnerable to sharing when God shows you the right time.

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Is It Time To Make a Change In Life?

By Terry Porter

The board meeting began at 7:30am, in the church conference room, on a Friday morning. I started the meeting with a short statement that I read and included, “I resign.”

That was it. Eighteen years at one ministry, and it was time to move on. I needed to. I needed to take a risk; I had been playing it safe for too long.

I stopped growing. I became stagnant in ministry and life.

It was past time for a change, for a new challenge, but I was afraid. Fear had kept me in a ministry for too long, and I lost sight of what it meant to live by faith.

423 E Eighth St, Ste B Traverse City, MI 49686 231.499.9069 talk@terry-porter.com

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Question: think of a time when fear kept you from moving forward in life, from acting on a dream or a compelling vision. Why did you allow fear to hold you captive?

Six Beliefs to Help You Live with Change You can live with change and take risks in your personal and professional life. You will grow because of your experience in the “stretch” zone. What’s more, life is better during periods of risk.

I am in my fourth year as a life coach. Pulling the trigger and deciding to resign was scary for me. For the first time in my professional life, I was responsible for generating an income and providing for my family. But I was not alone. Hebrews 11:6 reminds us that God rewards us for living by faith and seeking Him. When I launched the coaching practice, I felt intense pressure: • Pressure to pay bills.

• Pressure to find clients.

• Pressure to generate income to provide for my family.

The pressure moved me from living in the safe zone of life to being reliant on God, and I started to take calculated risks. What’s more, I had to learn new skills, solve complex problems, and LIVE

BY FAITH in what God said He would do.

If you made it this far in the blog, you might need to take a risk and take a step of faith in your life. Here are six beliefs you will need to accept to push through the risks of life and embrace change.

Belief 1: Change Will Be Part of My Life Start looking for new ways of doing things, ordinary things, everyday things. Don’t allow yourself to get into a rut. Just start doing different things. Try new restaurants, menu items, drinks, or coffees.

Make change a regular part of your life. Doing the same thing repeatedly (the same way) produces a life (brain functioning) of being stuck. It’s called ‘Neuroplasticity’. Resist it!! One change I like to do (not often) is sitting in the passenger seat on drives around town. I see life from a different perspective.

Belief 2: I Will Resist My Own Inertia Inertia, according to the Oxford dictionary, is the tendency to do nothing or to remain unchanged.

Inertia keeps us in a “passive” stance in life that will keep us stuck in old patterns. An old adage says, “If we always do what we’ve always done, we will always get what we’ve always got.”

Living in inertia is where we wait for others to act around us to solve our problems. Guess what; NO ONE IS SOLVING YOUR PROBLEMS. You must own YOUR problems. So, make a move and take the initiative.

I recently started investing in stocks. I’ve lost some money, I’ve made some money. Every dollar I lost was a good lesson I needed to take me to a new level of understanding of investing.

Belief 3: I Will Enjoy Change!

When we play it safe, it doesn’t move us forward in life or relationships. When we play it safe, we have a greater chance of losing everything. Think of a hoarder. They play it safe and all their ‘stuff’ ends up being destroyed in the end. So, let’s start to realize we are on a ride with God. He is with us! I love the prayer of Daniel in the Old Testament (Daniel 2:20-24).

Daniel says: God is the God of Wisdom and Power.

God is the God who gives Wisdom and Power.

Thank you, God, for giving ME Wisdom and Power.

Daniel then walked into the throne room of the king and told the king his dream. That is a faith move!

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Belief 4: Fear Can Motivate Me Fear kept me in a ministry for six years too long. I got comfortable, and I stopped growing exponentially. I finally got to a point where I couldn’t wait to resign. How did I do it?

I had to face my fears. I told my close friends what I was feeling and why I was feeling it. I learned to confess (James 5). I didn’t just confess sin; I confessed my fears. My friends then gave me the comfort I needed to internalize my fears (accept them) and then move past them. Fear was not going to keep me stuck. Instead, it was going to move (motivate) me forward.

Belief 5: My Friends Will Help Me Take A Risk I have two groups of friends or advisors in my life. One is my life team, and the other is my tech team. They both are there to help me normalize risk and change. They push me, sometimes in relationships, sometimes in trying new skills, and sometimes in setting new goals. My teams help me be my best self and help me see the path forward.

Belief 6: Think the Risk and Then Follow Through In December of 2017, I took out my journal and started documenting my dreams of launching a coaching practice.

Some of the goals I wrote were comical and unrealistic.

Other goals were realized. I am humbled at what I have accomplished ahead of schedule. In Nehemiah 5, Nehemiah became very angry, he processed his emotions, and then he confronted the nobles of Jerusalem. Tap into your emotions (fear, anger, and/or sadness), journal about those

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I have two groups of friends or advisors in my life. One is my life team, and the other is my tech team. They both are there to help me normalize risk and change.

emotions and why you feel that way. Then, write down what you want (dream).

What do you want your life to be like? Dream about it and write it down. Use your emotions to take a step of faith. You might fail. But you might change your life for the better.

Questions To Ask Yourself: • What risk have you been putting off that you KNOW you need to make?

• What principle do you need to act on this week/month?

• Why have you been hesitant to take a risk? What is inside of you that is keeping you from taking a risk?

• What skills do you need to gain to take your next BIG risk?

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Rene

LaFreniere Basketball Coach If you see a 1990 Volvo 240 cruising around campus, you may be surprised to see new basketball coach Réne LaFreniere behind the wheel. “People seem to get a chuckle when they see the car that I drive every day. It’s twice as old as some of the kids on the team!” he says with a laugh.

Coach LaFreniere’s vehicle may be a bit dated, but it’s got nothing on his favorite way to listen to music: on a wind-up phonograph. “Anything old is of interest to me,” he admits. “Collecting vintage 78 rpm discs from the early 1900’s to play on my Victrola is a hobby that my wife reminds me might be getting out of hand,” he smiles.

From a young age, sports were a constant theme of Coach LaFreniere’s life. “My dad coached basketball for many years, so I basically lived in the gym. Football and basketball were my primary sports in high school. I began my career as an Athletic Director in 1999 and eventually took on the additional role of basketball coach when I started at Buckley in 2008,” he says. “I stepped away from being an Athletic Director and Coach five years ago.

In my time away I felt that when the right place came open, I would give it one more shot. When the opportunity to coach at Traverse City Christian became available, I knew it was the right fit.”

coach, and a spectator. “I love attending games in the postseason when two great teams play and both communities are there in full force. In my opinion, a Division 3 or 4 Quarterfinal game is one of the best high school atmospheres you can experience,” he says enthusiastically.

“Watching a team that plays well together is not only entertaining but satisfying.”

His own coaching philosophy ties athletics to life lessons. “Winning games and filling trophy cases are fun but receiving wedding invitations and birth announcements from former players are a deeper measure of impact,” he explains.

Coach LaFreniere has had the privilege of being involved in basketball as a player, a

As many can attest, there are both challenges and opportunities for

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I’m involved in many local ministries here in Traverse City. My wife, Carly, and I are also very passionate about serving our friends in Petit Goave, Haiti.

students and coaches in athletics. “High school sports are in an interesting time.

The influence of club teams that operate in the off-seasons are taking many kids away from teams at their own schools,” Coach LaFreniere says. “I feel it’s important for coaches to be sensitive to every program within their school. Many coaches are coaching the same kids across different teams. If we wish to preserve the institution of high school athletics, we need to work together not only for the benefit of the kids, but for the survival of high school athletics.” He offers the following words of encouragement for parents wondering if their children should get involved in sports: “Sometimes kids need a little nudge to try something new when they’re young.

Be encouraging, be supportive, and be patient. Pursuing athletic goals should be part of a healthy balance in a kid’s life.”

Coach LaFreniere is active on and off the court. He serves full time as the Director of Operations and Missions, and also sits on the Board, for Bayview Church. “I’m involved in many local ministries here in Traverse City. My wife, Carly, and I are also very passionate about serving our friends in Petit Goave, Haiti.

We’ve taken several teams there over the last twelve years and are anxious to get back.”

In their spare time, he and Carly enjoy road trips and have traveled to cities across the country where they make it a point to attend a Major League Baseball game. In the summer months they ride their motorcycle around Northern Michigan, and enjoy anything outdoor related, including camping, hiking, and kayaking. Réne has an art background that he uses in things like photography, murals, and set designs at their church. Carly and Réne have four sons: Jakob, Réne, Isaak, and Hayden. Their oldest son Jakob is married, and with his wife Isabel, they’ve provided the first cherished LaFreniere grandchild, Avonlea.

The question that Coach LaFreniere always gets asked remains: Why the sweater vest? “I experimented early on with different sideline attire,” he explains. “I wanted to wear a tie, but it was always in the way. On a whim one day I threw a sweater vest on to hold the tie in place. Now I have about 30 in my closet! I try to contrast whatever color the guys are wearing that night to be easier to see when they look back toward the bench.” Sweater Vests, Victrolas, and Volvos: our new basketball Coach Réne LaFreniere is a slam dunk!

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Pull Over!

I was stunned, caught up in the simple, silent beauty of this creation.

By Patty Prihoda

Patty Prihoda previously worked at the Double Edge and today serves outstanding beverages at Table 12 Coffee House. She loves Jesus and attends Living Hope Church.

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And Moses said, “I will turn aside to see this great sight, why the bush is not burned.” When the Lord saw that he turned aside to see, God called to him out of the bush, “Moses, Moses!” And he said, “Here I am.” Then he said, “Do not come near; take your sandals off your feet, for the place on which you are standing is holy ground.” Exodus 3:3-5 ESV

I suppose the moral of that story, for me, is that I should “pull over” more often. Follow that nudge, that argument, that spontaneous opportunity.

It was hot. It was muggy. It was Thursday evening, and I was on my way home from work. My favorite part of the drive is the slow turn into my neighborhood, leaving only a few hundred yards of roadside wildflowers and scented breezes between me and “home sweet”.

Suddenly I spotted a discarded paper drink cup lying in the road as I drove. In the span of nanoseconds, my logical right brain and my spontaneous left brain (who apparently happens to be a supporter of the GoGreen movement) had a heated argument about the best action regarding the cup. Lefty won, so I pulled over, feeling grateful there were no other cars to witness this uncharacteristic environmental fervor. I bent down for the cup (and the lid and the straw-- major bonus points), and straightened up ready to give myself a gold star for eco-citizenship.

Then just to the right of my headlight, I saw him One glorious monarch, resting on the underside of a flower in the

scrubby bushes. I hesitated, then bent down for a closer look. He didn’t even flutter at my nearness. The sleek, black velvety body, studded with snow-white dots. Shimmering wing cells, iridescent tangerine, copper; edged in the same steely ebony. Wiry legs perfectly hinged and curved.

I was stunned, caught up in the simple, silent beauty of this creation. There I was, selffocused and feeling superior for my “act of environmental valor”, and God chose to shock and awe me with beauty. And I felt God in that moment, too - His eyes on me, His presence with me. We delighted in His butterfly together.

I almost missed that moment. I suppose the moral of that story, for me, is that I should “pull over” more often. Follow that nudge, that argument, that spontaneous opportunity. Because who knows when God is waiting there to meet me with awe, and beauty, and His very self?

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Sports Highlights up in a stat line but are still needed to win,” LaFreniere said. “Every day before we start practice and before we set foot on the court, they have to sweep the floor. It starts with that. If we expect good results, we better have a good surface we’re playing on.”

Senior Brock Broderick said that mindset has kept the Sabres disciplined and competitive.

“We’re really trying to get aggressive and have grit out on the floor,” Broderick said.

The Broomsmen “Sweep the floor” Motto Builds Boys Basketball Program A dust mop stands right next to the Sabres’ bench during every game, for both a literal and symbolic purpose.

before and after games. The mop is also a reminder of the team’s mentality for the 2021-22 season.

Traverse City Christian varsity boys basketball head coach Réne LaFreniere said it is for more than just cleaning up

“Guys diving on the floor for loose balls, taking a charge, those type of things and those hustle plays that don’t show

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Players who exhibit those traits during games earn what the Sabres call a “Sweepie” and get a tag with their name on it hooked to the top of the broomstick. Seth LaPointe nabbed one Thursday when the TC Christian won 73-36 at home against Forest Area.

“You try to motivate kids and have fun in the process,” LaFreniere said.

The Sabres (4-2) came into Thursday averaging exactly 59 points per game. They fell just a point shy of their seasonhigh 74, which they put up against Leland in their first game of the year.

TC Christian built a 15-0 lead before Forest Area’s Hunter Boggs knocked in a floater off

the glass with 3:30 to play in the first quarter. Broderick scored nine of his team-high 15 points in the first eight minutes as TC Christian went ahead 26-9 after one.

A 14-0 run by the Sabres to open the second quarter ballooned the lead to 31 points. Cameron Patton connected from long range to stop the bleeding and get Forest Area on the board with less than four minutes left in the half.

Those would be the only Forest Area points of the quarter, however, and TC Christian went into the locker room with a commanding 49-12 lead.

Patton led all scorers with 17 points, hitting from beyond the arc five times in the loss.

LaFreniere played his bench for most of the second half and gave his two JV call-ups — AJ Wylie and Austin Miller — significant minutes in the fourth quarter. Wylie hit a pair of triples and finished with eight points, while Miller converted on a fast break layup for his two varsity points. Nathan Hresko

scored 10 of his 12 points in the second quarter, and Ryan Sweetapple finished with nine points for the Sabres.

LaFreniere liked his players’ hustle Thursday, but appreciated more how they played against a struggling Forest Area team that is still looking for its first win of the season at 0-3.

“We understand that those are kids over there,” LaFreniere said. “Forest Area is having a down year, but that doesn’t mean you rub their face in it. You help maintain their dignity and treat them as if they were our own.”

Forest Area head coach Eugene Szymchack said the Sabres provided “great competition,” and he also appreciated how they played against his team.

“They’re all great friends. They know each other outside of school,” Szymchack said. “The guys on both sides of the ball were working together to help each other out tonight.”

Reproduced with kind permission of Brendan Quealey, Sports Editor for the Traverse City Record Eagle

1000 Career Points! And Named 1st Team All State Senior Brock Broderick reached 1,000 career points when he scored a game-high 40 points against Leland in early December. In early April, Brock was named ‘1st Team All State’ for Division 4 schools by the AP Sports Writers Association.

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JV Basketball Congratulations to the Boys JV Basketball team on a solid season, finishing up with a 9-8 overall record. The team was able to overcome many illnesses and injuries this year by being an unselfish group who showed their depth and camaraderie, game in and game out. They always gave their best and played with intensity and passion. The more experienced players led the charge for the season’s success providing both skill and leadership for the rest of the boys. They demanded the most from themselves and the others each and every practice and game. The future of Sabre basketball looks bright as some boys rotate onto next year’s Varsity squad, and those remaining, continue to develop their skills and lead the new team.

Middle School Boys Basketball TC Christian fields two MS Boys Basketball teams: The Maroon team (3-4) and the White team (44). The stats show evenly contested seasons for both teams with significant growth in skills and athleticism. “We finished the season strong,” said Sabre Maroon coach, Greg Johns. “The boys played well and trained with purpose this year and I am so proud of them.” Adam Miller, coach of the Sabre Whites, agreed, saying, “Overall, our teams improved a great deal over the course of the season.

It was a pleasure watching these boys work together and have fun!”

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Middle School Girls Basketball This year the girl’s MS basketball team went 3-3. It was not by luck but hard work, said coach Matt Karczewski. “There were a couple of losses near the beginning of the season which spurred the girls on. They pushed each other and practiced hard which resulted in not just some victories, but also growing as individuals and as a team”.

Luke Rasmussen Makes Dream Team TC Christian bowler, Luke Rasmussen, was named to the Record-Eagle’s All-Region Dream Team. Luke made great strides as a sophomore, doing well enough to finish second at the regional tournament and qualifying for the state finals tournament with a 1,104. In the process, he earned D-III/IV All-Conference Team honors and also bowled individual High Game. Although Luke fell shy of the match-play state championship tournament, he still showed great skill on the lanes with a high game of 277.

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Brooke Smith Honored TC Christian Junior, Brooke Smith, was honored with two significant accolades at the conclusion of the bowling season: The Traverse City Record-Eagle named Brooke their ‘Girls Bowler of the Year’ for 2022 and a week later, the Michigan High School Bowling Coaches Association named Brooke First Team All-State for Division 4.

TC Christian head coach, Andy Radtke, said Brooke worked tirelessly at improving her mechanics and became a consistent bowler in the big moments when the pressure was highest. Coach Radtke said her biggest jump was in her mental approach to the game.

Brooke has earned All-Conference and Dream Team honors all three years in the Great Northwest High School Bowling Conference.

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As a junior, she rolled a high game of 222 and a high series of 287 with a 166 average and 11 conference wins.

“Brooke was consistently good and didn’t let bad breaks or mistakes influence her performance,” Coach Radtke said. “She didn’t bowl a lot of eye-popping scores but had very few poor games. This is a huge jump in maturity over her younger seasons.”

Coach Radtke also lauded Brooke for her leadership and stepping into the void after the Sabres lost several seniors from last year’s state championship team.

In addition to Brooke, Sabre teammates Rebekah Burch, Naomi Elenbaas, Kaia Beebe, were also singled out for Dream Team Honorable Mention.

Sabre Bowlers Go From Strength To Strength

Several bowlers went on to see action at the State Championship tournament in Battle Creek in early March.

Our Sabre bowling teams completed a successful Conference season with great performances in the GNHSBC Singles and Team tournaments. Sabre teams and bowlers ended their Conference season with a number of awards: For the Girls • Finished in 1st place in D-III/IV, their 6th consecutive title (A dynasty in the making?)

• The girls team also won ‘Team High Game’ and ‘Team High Series’.

• Brooke Smith won a spot on the Dream Team while also winning D-III/IV honors for High Game, High Series and High Average • Kaia Beebe, Naomi Elenbaas and Rebekah Burch earned D-III/IV AllConference Team honors.

• Naomi Elenbaas and Rebekah Burch posted the most wins in D-III/IV with 12 (an overall match game record of 12 -4).

For the Boys • D-III/IV Team High Game and Team High Series • Luke Rasmussen earned D-III/ IV All-Conference Team honors and also bowled individual High Game (his 277 was the highest in the Conference overall) and High Series.

• Zack Wheat posted the most wins in D-III/IV with 14 (an overall match game record of 14 – 2).

The Varsity Girls team put forward a great effort in the defense of their State title, qualifying for the brackets by finishing 3rd in the qualifying round before falling in the quarterfinals to chief bowling rival, Ishpeming-Westwoods.

TC Christian bowlers, Brooke Smith and Luke Rasmussen, also competed in the State Singles finals with Luke ultimately falling just short of qualifying for the brackets. Brooke had an outstanding tournament making it all the way to the Sweet 16 before coming up just a few pins shy of moving on.

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Varsity Boys Basketball Go 16-6 TC Christian’s Boys Varsity Basketball team ended their strong season in a District Semi-Finals loss to a powerhouse St. Mary’s team. Despite the loss, TCCS Athletic Director, Micah Gallegos, was brimming with praise for the team. “We haven’t had a 16-win season since I’ve been at TCCS,” said Gallegos. “The guys played well individually and coalesced as a team to produce some terrific basketball. Coach LeFreniere is a great addition to the school. We’re fortunate to have him.” With two of the ‘Broomsmen’ returning next year and a solid JV roster from which to choose, TC Christian’s next basketball season is eagerly anticipated.

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Do your child’s educational options leave them lacking in hope and joy?

How are your children doing with their daily choices?

Let Traverse City Christian School help.

Besides offering an excellent educational journey for each student, at Traverse City Christian School our children are taught to seek the Truth from our Creator, Jesus Christ.

TCCS helps parents give the best gift you could ever offer to your child, a Christ-centered education in a godly and peaceful environment.

Karen Schmidt Coldwell Banker Schmidt

231-218-4463

KarenSchmidt@ColdwellBanker.com Jessica Polzien listens as Karen shares a story with her kindergarten class.

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Parting Shot TC Christian Senior, Abigail Boouwmeester, enjoys a special moment with one of the youngsters at a local church in Mexico. Abi was part of a Senior class mission trip to serve the community of Ensenada, Mexico.

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