Garfield Messenger: Volume 101, Issue 4

DECEMBER VOLUME 101 ISSUE #4

CONTENTS

TABLE OF

STAFF Asmaa Bah Amirah Melvin Ali Merz S. Avalon Leonard Chelsea Li Delilah Corbett Eli Silver Finian Guinney Fiona Real Griffin Crabs Havana Hakala Imbie Jones Jeremy Cogswell Jessica Onochie Jada Johnson Kennedy Greenfelder Leo Carlin Lea Shaw Lillian Small Mia Andreeva Michelle Tong Marisa Valenzano

ISSUE 4, VOL 101

Cover by Maile Quenzer

NFO

A&E

SPORTS

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5

YOUR GIFT TO MOTHER EARTH Mia Andreeva

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5

GIVING OUR TWO (S)CENTS Fiona Real, S. Avalon Leonard

LIVE LIKE THERE’S SNOW TOMORROW Jeremy Cogswell, Eli Silver

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6 7

FOUL FIGURE SKATING FITS Michelle Tong

2022 YEAR IN REVIEW Finian Guinney, Havana Hakala, Imbie Jones

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WINNER TAKES ALL Ali Merz

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KOOKY CONSPIRACIES Marisa Valenzano

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TIS THE SEASON Asmaa Bah, Kennedy Greenfelder, Jada Johnson MUSIC MONOPOLY MASTER Leo Carlin COP27 BREAKDOWN Lea Shaw, Lillian Small

Happy Holidays from The Messenger!

In partnership with ASB, pose with Santa and get a free digital photo!

Only on Thursday, Dec 15 during first and second lunch in Room 120.

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SLEDDING INTO WINTER Griffin Crabs, Chelsea Li

EDITORS Lakelle Bridges · Editor-in-Chief Maile Quenzer · Graphics & Layout Mairead Averill · News, Feature, Opinion Tess Wahl · News, Feature, Opinion Ellen Taylor · Arts & Entertainment Taylor Gale · Arts & Entertainment Mika Ichikawa · Sports Eden Huschle · Social Media Sydney Steinwinder · Business

Your contributions help make the production and publication of The Messenger possible. If you would like to support The Messenger, please contact us at garfieldmessenger@gmail.com, or scan the QR code to subscribe.

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NEWS ST. LUCIA:

Three holidays celebrated by Garfield students during the winter season.

Writing and Graphics By Asmma Bah, Jada Johnsonn, Kennedy Greenfelder Dec. 13

D

arkness surrounds the room where girls wear white dresses, a red ribbon tied around their waists, and a candle-lit wreath on their heads.

Boys are adorned with a long cone-shaped hat in addition to white gowns, and carry stars on a stick. These are the images of St. Lucia day, celebrated in Sweden, Norway, and parts of Finland. Some people will mistake the candle-lit wreaths and harmonious singing to be Christmas. But this frosty holiday on December 13 dates back to a 4th century tale of the Christian martyr, Saint Lucia, who would

secretly bring food to Christians who were hiding in Roman catacombs under the City. Wearing a wreath of lit candles to guide her way, St. Lucia brings people together by dancing and singing traditional songs like “Sankta Lucia,” a song that most Scandinavians know by heart. Traditional drinks like Glögg, a raisin infused herbal drink, is prepared, and foods like Lussekatter, a saffron bun in the shape of an S, is one of many delicious foods eaten during this

festive holiday.

St. Lucia Day is followed by a traditional Scandinavian Christmas on the 25th of December. During this time the dinner table is prepared with fish, herring and other meats like turkey and roast beef. In Sweden, fruit drinks like Glögg, homemade sweets like pepparkakor biscuits and risgrynsgröt, and a rice porridge that can be eaten with raspberry jam or cinnamon are some Christmas favorites. In addition the Christmas soda beverage Julmust can only be found during Christmas. Another Scandinavian Christmas tradition is a game similar to White Elephant, where people roll dice to

determine who receives what present. “It is a holiday anyone can participate in. And while it’s an undermined holiday compared to Christmas, it’s still a tradition that a lot of people celebrate,” said 12th grader Henry Fabiansson.

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ing” or singing of special hymns. Jewish students have various reasons for celebrating the holiday, and traditions within every family differ. Ella Timpe, a student at Garfield, doesn’t consider herself to be a religious person but celebrates Hanukkah for the cultural aspect, “I celebrate getting in touch with my Jewish

heritage,” Timpe said. Hanukkah is also seen as a good time to connect with one’s family, “I feel like I connect with my family through the celebration,” Timpe said. Families commonly play games like Dreidel and exchange gifts during the celebration.

Family and religion are very important, but there’s one part of Hanukkah that can’t be overlooked. The food.

“Latkes are my favorite part of Hanukkah,”

Timpe said. Latkes are shredded potatoes fried into a pancake shape and they are usually eaten with applesauce or sour cream. They’re one of the most common foods eaten during the festival. Foods fried in oil are eaten during Hanukkah to celebrate the miracle of oil.

Whether you’re singing hymns, eating good food or just spending time with the people you love, Hanukkah is a beautiful way to celebrate during the winter season.

roastrian culture, planted evergreen trees would be decorated with fruits and silk ribbons that hold wishes. Gifts are placed around the tree, similar to those who celebrate Christmas. Shireen Aryana, a Garfield Senior, celebrates this holiday yearly with her family.

Although there is a general direction for what families do each year for Yalda, traditions change from family to family. Aryana’s family, rather than hang fruit, create handmade ornaments out of air dry clay to resemble fruit as replacement.

“Last year, I made these little orange-shaped ornaments and my

brother made a watermelon, and then we painted them, and once they’ve hardened we hung them on the tree.” Aryana said.

The celebration of Yalda, surrounds itself with the importance of family, friends, love, resilience, and a triumph of light over dark.

“It may be the longest, darkest day of the year, but there’s still light in the distance.”

Aryana said.

HANUKKAH: Dec. 18-26 anukkah, otherwise known as the festival of lights, is a Jewish celebration, one that is a commemoration to the reaffirmation of the second temple of Jerusalem.

Hanukkah begins on Kislev 25 (usually in December, according to the Gregorian calendar). Those who celebrate light one candle on a menorah for each day of the eight day long festival. Hanukkah is one of the most celebrated Jewish holidays.

Hanukkah is celebrated religiously by daily readings of scripture and “almsgiv-

YALDA:

D

Winter Solstice Dec. 20/21

ecember 21st marks this year’s Yalda, a Zoroastrian holiday that takes place during Winter Solstice to celebrate the passing of the longest and darkest night of the year. In Persian culture, significance is placed on the sun and light, as it symbolizes goodness and renewal.

Historically, Persian people partook in Yalda as a protection against the spirit of evil because it is believed that the spirit’s power peaked during the long, dark night.

As a way to resist the evil within the dark and prevent bad luck, groups of family and friends would gather together to stay awake through the night in anticipation of the sunrise to come.

Today, the dangers of the darkness aren’t so prevalent in modern celebrations of Yal-

da, however, customs, cuisine, and staying up to celebrate the sunrise to come has stayed the same.

Traditionally, those who celebrate Yalda gather together with friends and family for food, drinks, and poetry reading all throughout the night. Pomegranates and watermelons hold a special meaning for Yalda as their red color emulates the dawn of life. The poetry read is typically that of famous Persian poets, one notably being Hafez, and participants of Yalda each make a wish, open the poetry book, and the first poem seen is the answer to if the wish will come true or not.

There are parallels between Yalda and Christmas, both placing significance on evergreen trees and decorating them. In Zo-

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NEWS MUSIC MONOPOLY MASTER

Ticketmaster’s monopoly enbales it to have awful service - and get away with it.

By Leo Carlin aylor Swift announced her upcoming concert tour, the Eras Tour, on November 1, including a concert in Seattle at Lumen Field. Fans all across the U.S. rushed to buy tickets from Ticketmaster – the platform Swift used to sell tickets. Buying tickets should theoretically be a simple and quick process; nothing should be more expensive than the ticket price. However, fans encountered quite a different experience.

Among those who tried to buy tickets for Swift’s concert was Junior Hannah Ziesche. While trying to buy tickets, she encountered a multitude of obstacles. Ziesche recounts that “the first tickets were canceled…then the website crashed…[then] they rescheduled the sale.” Ticketmaster eventually canceled the entire sale, citing “unexpectedly high demand” as the reason for the website crash and resulting cancellation. Even without the the sale cancellation, Ticketmaster faced criticism for the high service fees it imposes on customer With horrible service and astronomically high fees, a corporation like Ticketmaster

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should never exist. Normally competition from other organizations would force Ticketmaster to drastically improve their service or risk losing customers. However, Ticketmaster maintains a near total monopoly on every aspect of the live music industry.

Before we can understand Ticketmaster’s grip on the live music market, we must first understand how a monopoly works.

Mr. Snyder, who teaches AP Government at Garfield, explained that a monopoly “eliminates competition by controlling so many variables…thereby they control prices because there’s no competition.” Ticketmaster, holding a monopoly with no competition, is able to control fees, prices, and service on its own volition.

The live music industry didn’t used to be this way. Ticketmaster was founded in the 1970s as a ticket sales and distribution company, serving as a platform to buy tickets to concerts. To sell tickets, Ticketmaster must have a contract with the artist performing and the venue holding the concert.

Mr. Snyder remembers “buying tickets

COP27 BREAKDOWN Loss and damage take center stage in this

from Ticketmaster to go to a lot of concerts in the early 90s”. Nonetheless, Ticketmaster was not his only choice to buy tickets, as he could “order tickets directly from the band in the mail.” The constant fight between Ticketmaster and individual bands selling tickets directly created market competition. This competition limited the power any single company had, forcing companies to lower prices and improve service.

But in 2010, everything in the live music industry changed. Ticketmaster, the top company selling tickets, and Live Nation, the top company promoting venues, merged into one company under the banner Live Nation Entertainment.

As Mr Snyder testifies, the “same company that does [venue] promotion for artists…now handles the ticket sales directly for venues.” As a result, Ticketmaster no longer had competition as almost all artists or venues now had exclusive contracts with one compan y .

This made holding a tour for an artist or hosting an artist for a venue without going through Ticketmaster practically impossible. Ticketmaster can thus charge exorbitantly high fees and provide bad service at the same time.

A monopoly like this seems impossible to break. However, the government does have one weapon at its disposal: the legal system. Monopolies, which violate free market principles, are illegal under the Sherman Antitrust Act, and the federal government has opened an investigation into Ticketmaster. If it is proven that Ticketmaster holds a monopoly, the merger between Ticketmaster and Live Nation may be broken apart. If Ticketmast’s monopoly is allowed to stand, the live music industry may well suffer under its grasp forever.

What decision the courts make, and the consequences of that decision, remain to be seen.

year’s UN climate conference.

By Lea Shaw and Lillian Small his year COP27 was located in the Egyptian city Sharm el-Sheikh, hosting representatives from over 190 countries to deliberate on world climate policy. The United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change (UNFCCC), also known as COP, or Conference of Parties, serves as a formal meeting to assess progress and problems related to climate change every year. On November 20th, after 14 days of intense deliberation, this year’s COP panel agreed to provide compensation to countries struggling with loss and damages from the devastating effects of climate change, such as tropical storms, water levels rising, earthquakes, droughts, and more. Along with providing relief and aid, this agreement will include funding technology to help affected countries recover, and establishing a ‘transitional committee’ to handle the funding arrangements and the future funds for COP28. Although there are many parts of this agreement that require further negotiation - like specifics about where the money will come from and where it

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will go - hopefully this plan will help give support to countries who are carrying the brunt of climate change.

Every part of our planet has been affected by climate change. The Central Pacific Island countries are being faced with the crisis of rising water levels, an issue that ultimately leaves them without resources or solutions. This year Pakistan faced extensive flooding, leaving one third of the country underwater, followed by intense droughts, baking the earth during the spring harvest. Eastern Africa has been experiencing extreme droughts, while lower parts of the continent have been continuously flooded; both catastrophes leaving much of the continent in economic decline.

While numerous countries are struggling, Europe’s latest economy report shows they increased their carbon footprint 4.5% in the last year. Countries like Germany are experiencing a fall in energy consumption, but a rise in carbon emissions, putting a strain on the government to get back on track and follow through with previous climate related promises.

Much of COP27 was ironing out commitments that were made at the previous COP26 in Glasgow, Scotland, one such being the Global Methane Pledge. Garnering more than 150 countries’ signatures, the Global Methane Pledge plans to cut current Methane emission levels by 30 percent by 2030. Methane, a potent greenhouse gas, can be reduced much easier than carbon emissions because of its singular sourcenatural gas leaks. If achieved, 0.2 degrees Celsius of warming could be avoided by 2050. The United States and Brazil have signed on to the pledge, accounting for two out of the five countries that produce the most methane in the world, along with

China, Russia, and India.

Po l a r i z i n g politics have affected COP27 greatly, from shifting world leaders to the war in Ukraine. Brazil recently elected progressive candidate Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva who is dedicated to preserving the Amazon Rainforest of his home country. This is a stark change from the previous Jair Bolsonaro administration, which condoned widespread deforestation. Lula committed to implementing a mass reforestation of 12 million hectares, and has called on wealthy countries to donate to The Amazon Fund which would help preserve this biome. The United States’ now Republican-controlled House will certainly restrict the 11 billion dollars that Biden pledged last year to global climate finance, in which 1 billion has been passed so far.

Graphics by Lillian Small

A&E

YOUR GIFT TO MOTHER EARTH A guide to sustainable gift giving.

By Mia Andreeva is’ the season of holiday cheer and of course, presents. As the holidays approach many are out and about shopping for the perfect gift for loved ones.

While the winter festivities bring joy to us, they also bring harm to the environment.

According to Stanford University, between Thanksgiving and New Year’s, Americans throw away 25 percent more trash than at any other time of the year, not to mention the increase in carbon emissions due to the rise in online orders.

This is a preventable issue. Our excessive waste is the result of unwanted gifts, wrapping paper, and heaps of New Year’s confetti. Sustainable gifting can be overwhelming; products claiming to be eco-friendly are often expensive, and most of the time, not the item we are looking for. So, here’s how to give a great sustainable gift.

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er or not the person will actually use it, and if so, for how long?

When asked about the worst gift they’ve ever received, Senior Graham Cobden said, “Someone once got me a literal sheep ottoman; It came in a big box and I was expecting something interesting.”

While a sheep ottoman might have been someone else’s dream gift, it’s Graham Cobden’s worst nightmare. “It’s really hard; now it’s taking up space, collecting dust, and shedding fur.” The simplest thing you can do to avert this situation is to ask your friend what they want. Have them make a list and select one

CONCIOUS GIVING We often give gifts people don’t need.

Sustainability isn’t just about the carbon footprint of the item itself, but also wheth-

from it. If your friend commits to the “I don’t care” act, gift cards and money are always excellent alternatives.

LOCAL, LOCAL, LOCAL

WRAP IT UP WITH A BOW TIE

Now that you have the perfect gift in mind, it’s time to purchase it. The first step is to stray away from the comforts of online shopping. Traditional shopping is more carbon-efficient than online since it eliminates shipping-related emissions.

Try buying your gift second-hand by scouring thrift stores. Buying locally is also a great option. Local businesses make local purchases, which means that less transportation is required for their products.

It’s important to note here that if the gift in mind is only available online, you should purchase it there. Sustainability values usage, it’s more beneficial to the environment to get your loved one a gift they will actually use than to get one that has less of an initial carbon footprint but won’t be used for as long.

Wrapping paper is a major culprit in our garbage problem. The concept of wrapping paper in itself is wasteful; it’s hard to reuse and has a lifetime of two weeks maximum.

Although recyclable, most people put it straight down the trash; often those who do recycle forget to take off the tape, which is non-recyclable. There are many alternatives to wrapping paper; tote bags, fabric cloths, paper grocery bags, and newspapers. Or just don’t wrap it, put it behind your back and in the big reveal say “TADA”. Want to make it pretty? Use this messenger issue to wrap up your gift.

GIVING OUR TWO (S)CENTS A

s the season of winter wonderlands and cozy nights spent with friends and family approaches, many are looking to make their rooms the ultimate cabin getaway. Regardless of which holiday you are celebrating this winter break, if any at all, anyone can partake in the sweet and aromatic scent of a good candle. But with so many options out there, it can seem impossible to distin-

A Messy guide to holiday candles.

By Fiona Real and S. Avalon

This candle smells like the beginning of a new winter season, which means skiing and snowboarding is coming up soon! The aroma of fresh snow and sweet pine trees lingering throughout the forest is the scent that this candle gives off. The minimalist, yet in-season style to the candle matches the smell very well. This candle has a somewhat faint scent, yet it takes you away, feeling that you are in the alpine wilderness, about to go down a ski run. This inexpensive candle is a great way to have your home smelling like pines, peppermint, vanilla, and the outdoors as well as get you into the winter spirit!

The flameless battery-powered “candle” from Crate and Barrel. While the concept of a flameless candle may seem strange or unnecessary, there are some considerable benefits.

For example, the average three wick candle can burn for about 35 hours before needing to be replaced. The flameless candle offers 600 hours of battery life and does not require purchasing an entire new candle. So, while it is certainly

more expensive than some of our other picks, you will get a lot more use out of it. As the name suggests, the candle’s exterior strongly resembles that of a white birch tree. Even without any physical warmth to it, this candle offers a perfect year-round cozy touch to any room.

Art by Fiona Real

Photo by Mia Andreeva

guish which ones will fill our hearts and noses with joy, and which ones just smell like your grandma’s all too pungent air freshener. With that being said, here are our top picks for local candle suppliers and their best selections this holiday season.

The Acorn Votive from Anthropologie is perfect for the person in your life that is averse to strong smelling candles. As the name would suggest, the Acorn Votive is shaped like an acorn. This candle is not flashy by any means, yet despite this, it is not bland. This unscented candle is only twelve dollars and comes in four colors– ivory, cream, brown, and chocolate. A fun feature of this candle is that you can choose which way you would like to burn it. There is not much to say other than this is arguably the most aesthetically pleasing candle from our picks, given that it balances simplicity and decoration.

As the name suggests, this candle truly does smell like a Caramel Apple Spice drink from Starbucks. The hint of cinnamon and the sweet caramel reminds you of the upcoming holiday season, and will deliver an amazing, room-filling fragrance experience. After lighting the candle, your house will be smelling of brown sugar and fresh cinnamon buns right out of the oven within twenty minutes!

Along with that, the decorative exterior gives off a great holiday flare,with festive holographic foxes. This is a highly recommended candle which includes quality lead-free wicks.

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2022 YEAR

A retrospective look at the ups

By: Imbie Jones, Finian Guinney, and Havana Hakala

Graphics sourced from the Noun Project and Havana Hakala

FEBURARY 24TH- RUSSUA INVADED UKRANNE

JAN

Omicron, a new variant of Covid-19 emerges, quickly becoming the dominant variant around the world due to its high transmissibility, leading to a large spike in Covid cases.

FEB

JANUARY- COVID HOSPITALIZATIONS, OMICRON

Russia begins its invasion of Ukraine, displacing millions of Ukrainians FEBURAY (4-20) - WINTER OLYMPICS The 2022 Winter Olympics were back this from their homes and increasing past year. They were held in Beijing with tensions between the US and Russia.

There are global outpourings of supNorway winning the most Gold medals, port from other countries for Ukraine. a total of 16!

MARCH 27TH - WILL SMITH AT THE OSCARS

Amber Heard sues her ex-husband Johnny Depp on the grounds of domestic abuse.

The trial became a media sensation, with clips mocking Heard’s emotional testimony circulating. After several months, the jury

Nominated by Joe Biden, Ketanji Brown Jackson is confirmed by the US Senate to be an associate justice on the Supreme Court. This makes her the first ever Black woman to be on the US Supreme Court.

concluded that Depp is entitled to fifteen million from Heard.

The supreme courban overturns Roe V Wade, the legislation that affirmed women’s right to abortions. Many states immediately ban them now that they are not federally protected. Cities like Seattle become “sanctuary cities” by continuing to allow abortion access.

18 seasons in the WNBA and 4 Championships all with the Seattle Storm, Bird Retires after the 22’ season.

The Year Of The Tiger 2022 was the year of the tiger, meaning resilience and strength has been prominent. 2022 was also the year of the water tiger, which occurs every sixty years, the last one being in 1962. If you have felt competitive, charming, or well-liked through these last twelve months, don’t believe it’s just your personality – chalk it up to the year of the tiger!

“Gentleminions” trends spark after the release of the movie Minions: The Rise of Gru, where viewers show up to theaters in formal attire.

SEPTEMBER 8TH- QUEEN ELIZABETH DIES The Queen of England finally dies of old age at 96 years old. She is replaced by her son, Prince Charles. A cultural icon of the United Kingdom, she was the longest reigning monarch in British history.

According to GHS Students!

OCTOBER 7TH- MARINERS PLAYOFFS

OCT

SEPTEMBER 2ND- SUE BIRD RETIRES

JULY 1ST- MINIONS MOVIE

JULY

NBA drafts 3 Seattle players in the first round, Paolo Banchero going No.1 Overall to the Orlando Magic, Garfield’s own Tari Eason No.17 to the Houston Rockets, and No. 24 Marjon Beauchamp going to the Milwaukee Bucks.

APRIL 11TH- JOHNNY DEPP TRIAL

JUNE 24TH- ROE VS. WADE OVERTURNED

POLLS

JUNE 23RD- NBA DRAFT

APRIL

Will Smith and Chris Rock get into a physical altercation at the 2022 Oscars. The event becomes popular on social media platforms and then quickly tires.

APRIL 7TH - KETANJI BROWN JACKSON CONFIRMED

In October the Seattle Mariners beat the Toronto Blue Jays in the AL Wild Card Series leading to their first playoff appearance in 21 years.

Rightfully Canceled Celeb of 2022

IN REVIEW

and downs of an eventful year MARCH 16TH- QB RUSSELL WILSON TRADED TO BRONCOS

MARCH 11TH- MASK MANDATES LIFTED

After 10 seasons with the Seattle Seahawks, Wilson gets traded to the Denver Broncos in March. The Seahawks received 2 first-round picks, 2 second round picks, a fifth-round pick, and multiple players in return.

MARCH 12TH- GIRLS BASKETBALL WINS STATE!

MAR

Seattle Public Schools lifts the mask requirement in all schools, while still strongly encouraging them.

This decision sparks debate among students on whether masks should be mandated or not.

After going undefeated (22-0) the Lady Bulldogs beat Lake Washington 39-38 to win the 2022 3A Girls State Championship!

The sequel to Top Gun (1986) – Top Gun: Maverick – comes out over thirty years after its original. It surpasses Black Panther as the fifth top-grossing movie of all time, as well as being the only movie to be number one at the domestic box office for both Memorial Day and Labor Day.

The app ‘BeReal’ gains popularity over the summer, despite the app being made in 2020. As of now, BeReal has garnered over ten million active users.

AUGUST- RECORD BREAKING HEAT/SMOKE

AUG

August features record-breaking heat around the world, with countries around the world hit by heat waves.

Washington suffers its hottest August on record and poor air quality due to forest fires.

Best Movie of 2022

Garfield celebrates its 100th anniversary. Students, families, and alumni gather to celebrate the history of the school with music, food, and speakers. The event is led by Garfield alum, Mayor Bruce Harrell.

JUNE 3RD- PURPLE & WHITE

The tradition of the Purple & White spirit week is celebrated with an assembly and an after school “celebration” at Seward Park.

SEPTEMBER 1ST- TEACHER STRIKE Seattle Public Schools teachers strike, demanding services for ELL and special education students. The strike delays the start of school by one week, pushing the end of the year to June 30th.

NOVEMBER 15TH- WORLD POPULATION HITS 8 BILLION NOVEMBER 20TH- FIFA WORLD CUP

OCTOBER 21ST- HOMECOMING

The population of the world reaches a landmark of 8 billion people. This comes only 11 years after the population reached 7 billion in October of 2011. Population growth is predicted to slow, not hitting 10 billion until 2058.

NOV

Homecoming is hosted for the first time since Covid at the Seattle Aquarium. Students seem to agree that the night ended well despite the football team losing to O’dea 21-14.

AUGUST 27TH- GARFIELD CENTENNIAL

SEP

MAY

MAY- BEREAL

JUNE

MAY 27TH - TOP GUN: MAVERICK

The FIFA World Cup returns and begins in November. Featuring 32 teams, while being played at multiple locations in Qatar.

Best Album of 2022

A&E

KOOKY CONSPIRACIES

100% true, totally real, scientifically proven theories to definitely believe in.

By Marisa Valenzano

MOON LANDING

On July 20th, 1969, American astronaut Neil Armstrong became the first person to ever step foot on the moon… or did he? More than 50 years after the historic small step for man, conspiracy theorists still believe the moon landing was a hoax. The basic theory says that NASA did send astronauts into orbit on Apollo 11, but they weren’t able to safely land on the moon. To placate the public, President John F Kennedy and NASA staged the moon landing tape in an elaborate film studio and broadcast it to the world. Moon landing skeptics point to clues on the footage and photos to back up their claim. Apparently, cross hairs etched on the camera glass and a mysterious letter C on the moon rock are full-proof evidence that America did not in fact win the space race.

CHEMTRAILS Chemtrails is a theory in which the government or others secretly add toxins to the atmosphere through aircraft that create visible plumes in the sky. This alleged spraying may be conducted for sterilization, reducing life expectancy, mind control, or weather control, say the Chemtrail enthusiasts. If you believe in this theory and don’t want to be sterile, avoid going outside during the Blue Angels event next August.

Art by Chelsea Li and Havana Hakala

SLEDDING INTO WINTER

Best sledding locations this winter season.

By Griffin Crabs and Chelsea Li

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s Seattle’s temperatures begin to drop and winter takes hold, exciting seasonal activities are coming around the corner. Snowy weather gives the opportunity for sledding enthusiasts to have a round of fun. Here are the 4 top picks for sledding hills to make the most out of this winter season.

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Art sourced from The Noun Project

BIRDS AREN’T REAL This popular Gen Z theory claims exactly that: Birds Aren’t Real. According to the Birds Aren’t Real movement, birds are actually drone replicas installed by the U.S. government to spy on unassuming Americans. Next time you see a bird, run!

FLAT EARTHERS 1% of all Americans firmly believe that the Earth is flat. This small minority deny any scientific evidence of a spherical Earth and claim that NASA has faked photos taken from space. The official Flat Earthers Society, which contains more than 3,500 members, was founded in 1956. Most curiously, in 2017 U.S. rapper B.o.B tweeted that he was a vocal advocate for the flat-Earth theory. He then launched a crowd-funded campaign to send a satellite up to space to prove the earth is a disc, not a globe. So, next time you listen to Airplanes by B.o.B, remember the person rapping thinks airplanes eventually fall off the edge of Earth.

AREA 51

Area 51 is a classified government base located north of Las Vegas. The site is just outside the Nevada Test and Training Range, where over 100 bombs were tested in the 1950s. While the U.S. government has never a c k n ow l e d g e d Area 51’s existence, the name is nationally associated with UFO and alien conspiracy theories.

Many people believe the government is holding real aliens in the base and working on extraterrestrial technology. Maybe E.T. was based on a true story, but we’ll never truly know.

ROYAL FAMILY

The royal family, in addition to many scandals are also involved in multiple juicy conspiracy theories: • Meghan Markle is secretly a robot. After a video surfaced of Meghan sitting in the audience of Britain’s Got Talent without blinkking, speculation spread that Meghan is actually a robotic woman.

• Queen Elizabeth was a cannibal. When people wondered how Queen Elizabeth lived so long, conspiracy theorists were quick to provide an answer: she eats human flesh. Evidence of this claim came from a serviceman at Windsor Castle, who said he discovered human remains inside the queen’s private freezer.

• Queen Elizabeth was an extraterrestrial reptile.

Former BBC sports reporter David Icke claims that some elite members of society, like the Queen, are reptile humanoids called “Annunaki.” These lizard-people are responsible, he claims, for 9/11 and the Holocaust.

• Prince Charles descended from a vampire. According to some genealogy records, Prince Charles is a descendant of Vlad the Impaler, the 15th-century Romanian prince who inspired Bram Stoker’s 1897 novel, Dracula.

• The royal family was behind Princess Diana’s fatal accident. Mohamed al-Fayed, billionaire and boyfriend of Diana at the time of her death, has been very vocal that the royal family was behind her death. He claims that since Diana was pregnant when she died, the royal family planned the car crash to prevent Diana from marrying an Egyptian Muslim, and having his child.

Dearborn Street - Dearborn Street, located in Leschi is a steep stretch of road that will leave you shaking in your boats. As it gets cold this road will be covered in ice, allowing for the perfect hill to test your sled abilities on. Beware sledders as it does lead right onto Lake Washington Boulevard, so don’t fly into the water!!

Rating | Length: 3/5 Steepness: 4/5 The Walk Back Up: Medium

Gas Works Park - An old gas plant may not be the first place that comes to mind while searching for the perfect sledding hill, but you may want to give this place a shot. Sitting over the water, the 20acre park features an endless array of hills– a sledder’s biggest dream. Regardless of your sledding background, this large expanse will provide you nothing short of an exhilarating experience Rating | Length: 3/5 Steepness: 4/5 The Walk Back Up: Easy

East Roy Street - This long stretch of street is perfect for the adrenaline-junkie sledding fiends out there. Located in Capitol Hill, it is Seattle’s steepest block. There are a few different sections of the street you can go on, but if you start on 23rd and take the street down toward Washington Park, the sledding experience will be unmatched.

Rating | Length: 5/5 Steepness: 4/5 The Walk Back Up: Hard

East Lee Street - Located in Madison Park,this street is short but it makes up for it in its steep stature. Start at 39th Ave East and take the hill down. If you are looking for some fast and easily accessible sledding, then this is the hill for you.

Rating | Length: 3/5 Steepness: 5/5 The Walk Back Up: Easy

SPORTS

LIVE LIKE THERE’S SNOW TOMORROW 2022-2023 ski season preview.

By Jeremy Cogswell and Eli Silver

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kiing (and snowboarding) is back and this year’s conditions look more promising than ever. Scientists are predicting a 76 percent chance of a La Niña Winter, which means more cold weather systems and snow in the mountains. In a La Niña year, snowfall can increase by 36 inches in the Cascades. With skiing growing in popularity and a constantly changing pass structure, it can be difficult to know where to start the season.

Here’s a look at some notable resorts in the area, as well as a guide to navigating the numerous season pass options available.

MOUNTAINS: The Summit at Snoqualmie: At a glance Acres: 1994 Lifts: 19 Vertical: 2280’ Less than an hour awTay from Seattle, The summit at Snoqualmie is Seattle’s closest resort. It consists of four base areas–West, East and Central, which are all connected, as well as the steeper Alpental.

West is the best option for beginners, Central has a terrain park and night-skiing, East has a front and backside, and Alpental has some of the best freeride terrain in the state. The Summit has something for everyone, and it’s convenient and fairly priced.

Stevens Pass: At a glance Acres: 1125 Lifts: 10 Vertical: 1800’ Located off Highway 2, an hour and 45 minutes (plus traffic) from Seattle, Stevens Pass is a staple in the Seattle ski scene. Stevens opened in 1937, making it the oldest resort in the area. The resort boasts everything from a rope tow for beginning skiers, to double blacks for advanced skiers, to cross country trails- for those a little less motivated by fun. The mountain consists of both a front side and backside, and two

peaks–Big Chief and The Cowboy. In 2018, the mountain was acquired by Vail Resorts, which has led to plans for a new lodge and the expansion of parking lots. Stevens also now offsets all the energy used to run its lifts with clean energy credits, making it the only 100 percent sustainable resort in the PNW. When heading to Stevens make sure to get an early start as traffic gets bad and the parking lots fill fast.

uphill lift capacity in North America, and garners approximately two million visitors annually. Whistler hosted the 2010 Winter Olympics, which still holds the viewership record. Because of its large size the resort has three base villages, which consist of lodging, restaurants, shops and snow related activities. Despite a hefty cost, the world class skiing and village amenities makes a trip to Whistler-Blackcomb worth it.

nation resorts such as Vail and Whistler. If you plan on skiing a lot and taking a ski vacation, you can’t beat the Epic Pass’ value.

Crystal Mountain: At a glance Acres: 2600 Lifts: 11 Vertical: 2600’ Sitting in the shadow of the majestic Mt. Rainier, Crystal Mountain is a backcountry skiers paradise. As the largest ski area in the state, Crystal offers something for everyone. Those looking for a challenge (and a little hike) should head up chair six to Southback- a backcountry region on the far side of the mountain. Sitting at the top of two prominent peaks- Silver King and The Throne, Southback contains long, steep, deep powder runs minus the crowds. At the other end of the mountain Northway and Snorting Elk Bowl provide fun, long tree runs through rolling glades. A two hour drive combined with limited parking space means a weekend trip is a good way to maximize ski time. Good options for lodging include cabins at the top of the Gold Hills lift, and the Silver Skis Chalet next to the upper parking lot.

Big Sky: At a glance Acres: 5850 Lifts: 24 Vertical: 4350’ Big Sky is in Montana, an 11 hour drive from Seattle. Most access the Mountain by flying into Bozeman which is an hour drive away from the mountain. Big Sky is a popular vacation destination for Seattle skiers given that it is accessible with both the Snoqualmie and Ikon Pass. Big Sky is, as its name implies, big. It has plenty of terrain for all skier levels, a top tier park and some of the best inbounds steeps in the country– although some runs require avalanche gear to ski. If you’re looking for a big ski vacation this winter, Big Sky is a good bet.

589$ Teen Unlimited pass 529$ Teen Limited pass The Summit at Snoqualmie Pass pass provides unlimited skiing at Seattle’s closest resort and surprisingly good benefits for a reasonable price. For someone looking to get into skiing, a Limited pass is a great way to start. It grants access to everything except Alpental on weekends. You’re sure to get a lot of time on the slopes, especially considering the Summit’s legendary night skiing. For those looking to ski Alpental, the Unlimited pass is the way to go. It has additional benefits of 3 free days and 50% off of additional days at sister resorts Big Sky and Brighton. However, the pass is still well worth it if you only ski at Snoqualmie.

Whistler-Blackcomb: At a glance Acres: 8171 Lifts: 23 Vertical: 5280’ Whistler-Blackcomb, located just across the Canadian border, is the largest ski resort in North America. Consisting of two mountains, Whistler and Blackcomb, connected by a gondola 1,500 ft above the valley floor, the resort is an international destination for skiers. Between the two mountains, the resort has the highest

PASS GUIDE:

949$ young adult pass 749$ young adult base pass The Ikon Pass no longer offers unlimited skiing at Crystal Mountain, but it still offers 7 days at Crystal and Snoqualmie with no blackouts* (5 with blackouts for base pass).

The Ikon Pass is not a no-brainer for Crystal skiers as it has been in years past, but can provide tremendous value if you ski your 14 days locally and go on a vacation to one of their many top tier resorts, like Big Sky and Jackson Hole.

949$ Epic Pass 649$ Stevens Only The Epic Pass is the only pass that couples unlimited skiing at a local ski area (Stevens) with access to many other desti-

$1,249 young adult $1,549 young adult +Ikon Pass After discontinuing unlimited usage for Ikon Passholders, Crystal Mountain is again selling season passes– the Crystal Legend Pass - at a significantly higher price than their last offering. The only pass on this list with a comma in the price tag offers access to just one mountain, although you can add an Ikon pass for 300 dollars.

We would recommend this pass for a nonprice sensitive customer that is keen on skiing Crystal. *Blackout- dates in which the pass is not valid, often holidays or peak weekends.

Art by Fiona Real

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SFOULPFIGURE O RSKATING T S FITS

Figure skating fits that belong in the hall of shame.

By Michelle Tong igure skating is a sport that values aesthetics as much as dexterity. While a botched lutz can tank a skater’s score, so too can a garish costume.

The rules of figure skating fashion are as follows: no excessively showing skin, and nothing that falls off your costume.

Male-identifying skaters are banned from wearing tights (thank god). Depending on the event (showcase, competition, etc.) there may or may not be a theme. Costumes may reflect the character of the music, allowing the skaters to go wild. However, this creative liberty has led to some atrocious fashion statements.

The Sochi 2014 Olympics were a rough time for figure skating fashion, when skaters graced the rink with colors so bright they could glow in the dark. Australian pair skaters Danielle O’Brien and Gregory Merriman stepped out onto the ice, clothed head to toe in tacky highlighter tones. Together, the pair made a horrifying vision of magenta, electric blue, and light neon green. To add insult to injury, Danielle’s corset was adorned with silver rhinestone swirls and black polka dots, and the designer’s attempt to jazz up her colorblock dress with thick black sequins backfired immensely, making the costume

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look cheap.

Gregory, on the other hand, was dressed tamely in dark gray pants held up by suspenders and sporting an unkempt magenta polka-dotted bow tie. That in itself is not a fashion crime, had it not been paired with a fluorescent green long sleeve button up.

Seriously, is this a figure skating costume or an electric fly trap? Greg’s pants were covered in iridescent blue patches, complete with a magenta handkerchief attached to his back pocket which could be mistaken for a furry tail at certain angles.

Russian skater Ilia Kulik rolled up to the 1998 Nagano Olympics looking perfectly respectable from the waist down and a hot mess from the waist up. Dressed in a marigold yellow shirt with puffed sleeves and black abstract cutouts mimicking a giraffe or a cow, Ilia’s costume is an insult to animal print. He made the dire mistake of wearing a white vest, blending his torso into the ice and forcing the audience to focus on his abomination of a shirt and his legs, which were clad in plain black pants.

Someone tell this man that black and yel-

WINNER TAKES ALL

Art by Coco Palmer and Ali Merz

Garfield girls’ basketball looks for another slam dunk.

By Ali Merz

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ast year, the Garfield Girls’ basketball team was at the top of their game. They easily took the Metro League in a clean sweep, moving on to the 3A Washington State Championships with high hopes.

They progressed through each game with a win, crushing most of their opponents, until they were faced with the final matchup against Lake Washington. The pressure was on. If they won this game, they would have back-to-back titles as State champs. It was tight, but the Bulldogs managed to score six points in the last three minutes and four seconds of the match, pulling out a 39-38 victory and securing their spot as the number one team in the state.

This year, the team is looking to take the State title for a third time, but it won’t come

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without its challenges.

“I think our matchup this year is gonna be against Lakeside,” Naveah Talbert said, a point and shooting guard. The Bulldogs faced the Lions several times last year, including in the Metro League Championship, where the game ended in a 64-57 victory. Garfield is looking for another win over them this season. “I think we’ll be fine if we don’t speed up to their pace. Just to play our game, ya know?” added Naveah.

Additionally, Marvin Hall, who had coached the team since 2018, resigned this year after concerns about questionable interactions with a former student arose. Talbert shared her concerns about how the situation is affecting the team this year. “We’re a little rocky ‘cause we don’t know our coach,” she said, “right now we’re working with the football coaches and the

low only looks cute if you’re a bee in a kindergarten ballet recital or a danger sign.

And the blinding color jabs don’t just apply to Australians in Sochi, they also apply to Canadians in Beijing. Piper Gilles and Paul Poirier arrived at the 2022 Olympics looking like a pair of orange highlighters.

Unlike the Australians, this partnership managed to make use of the color wheel, pairing complementary colors blue and orange together. Piper’s ensemble consists of a hot pink bandeau with a fluorescent orange jacket dotted with rhinestones, successfully blinding the judges. The rhinestones were arranged in a paisley pattern, giving the audience an unwelcome jolt to 2014. The skirt is a swirl of blue, yellow, pink, and green, which would be fine if the designer limited themselves to two colors, but unfortunately for Piper, they didn’t.

Paul’s costume is slightly less viscerally disgusting, but only when he stands next to his partner. His shoulders are decorated with scraps of bright fabric leaf clusters and he has echoed Piper’s blinged out look with excessive rhinestone detailing.

All in all, while figure skating depends on how pretty skaters can make technical elements, sometimes that finesse doesn’t translate to costume design.

boys’ coach.” Without a proper coach, other teams may find a slight advantage. But Navaeh believes that, “as long as our team sticks together, we’ll be fine.”

“I feel like the players are handling it pretty well,” said Sophomore Sarah Lessig, a returning varsity player. “But we’re just going to have to see.”

Despite these obstacles, the team’s passion and joy surrounding the sport has remained strong. “The team is definitely really hard working. Everyone pushes each other to get better everyday. If you’re caught slacking they’re gonna get on you for that, but it’s also super positive– like, everyone’s uplifting each other, so it’s a good environment,” Lessig commented.

Katie Fiso, a returning varsity player, shared what she’s excited for this season.

“Definitely building relationships with my

teammates. We have some new girls on the team, so I’m excited to see what their personalities are like. And definitely trying to keep up the winning streak from last year.”

As for Talbert, she’s heading into the season with a lot of anticipation. “For me, I’m looking to get better ‘cause I’m coming off an ACL injury,” She said, “I’m looking forward to helping my team out, and you know, doing whatever I gotta do to win.”

The first game of the season was on December 2 against West Seattle High School – a decisive 72-40 win, and on December 14 they will face off against Lakeside on their home court. With the possibility of three back-to-back State victories on the line, the Bulldogs gear up for another season of hard work, teamwork, and domination over their opponents.

SHORT KING ADVICE For short kings, by a short king.

Q- Do you sit in a booster seat?A- Most of the time, but on occasion I like to live a LITTLE wild and not sit on one. I can see enough, but don’t tell anyone!

Q- Do you use pedal extensions?A- Driving was one of the biggest challenges for me, seeing all of my tall friends effortlessly reach the pedals and wheel was a bit disheartening. But after I bought pedal extensions, not only was my driving ability boosted, but my confidence was as well.

Q- What size shoes do you wear?A- As a Short King™ it’s hard to find shoes that fit my little dogs, so what I do is I take the shoes off of American Girl dolls and wear those instead. My favorites are the Josefina Montoya moccasins and the Caroline Abbott boots, take care!

Q- How do you feel like height shapes the amount of toxic masculinity you are allowed to express in our society? A- When you are short in life, everything you do may seem like less to the next person. I can assure you, short people CAN do big things. Being short should not hinder your ability to do important things.

Q- Are you ever afraid that you will get picked up by a bird one day?A- Birds are not real, but if they were, it would for sure be on my irrational fear list.

Q- What are the requirements to be a short king?A- There are no requirements to be a short king, it’s all about the mind set, there’s always a bigger fish in the sea.

Q- Do you drink out of shot glasses?A- I love having a tall refreshing glass of water out of a huge shot glass, they’re so easy to fit my little fingies around.

Q- Does size matter?A- I am a firm believer in quality over quantity. So when it comes to size, a short king is better than a tall prince.

Q- Do I count as a short king? I am 5’7?A- If you have the mindset of a short king then you are one even if you’re the average height.

Q- Can you ride roller coasters?A- Short Kings are powerful in numbers, don’t let a minimum height stop you from having fun. So when you come across this obstacle, find another short friend and get on their shoulders, two is better than one, toodles.

Q- What do you hold onto when the wind blows?A- As a short king it’s always good to be prepared for anything. This is why it’s always a good idea to keep ankle weights on you at all times. We need more short kings, not less.

Q- Best gift to buy for my short friends?A- Short kings are very minimalist so the best gift to give them is unconditional love… or Growth Hormones.

Q- What do you do when you have a crush on someone that is two feet taller than you?A- Use your confidence. There’s nothing wrong with having a partner that’s taller than you. All you need to do is shoot your shot even if it’s on a 7’ hoop.

Q- Do you wish you were taller?A- Being short is great. People always think it’s a disadvantage but then they get struck by lighting and then us short kings come out unscathed.

- G.C.

WINTER PLAYLIST

By Maile Quenzer

White Winter Hymnal- Birdy We’re the Lucky Ones- The Marias River- Joni Mitchell Flowers in December- Mazzy Star Smoke- Indigo De Souza Big Bag- Tyler, the Creator

Blood Bank- Bon Iver In the Cold, Cold Night- The White Stripes Heaven or Las Vegas- Cocteau Twins Love in the Time of Socialism- Yellow House

THE BACKPAGE 2023 PREDICTIONS

GIFT IDEAS FOR...

GARFIELD EDITION

FOR SHORT KINGS: HEIGHT INSOLES

CROSS COUNTRY KID: 2 INCH INSEAM SHORTS

FRESHMAN: ROLLER BACKPACK

FOR MR. JOHNSON: TOUPEE

POST KID: TOE HIKING BOOTS