Excerpts from The Big Picture: Slowlife

By:Ben Frederick

In 2016, an innocuous cycling crash my world upside down. From chasing the Pro Dream to trapped in a broken brain, in a dark room. The #slowlife was an attempt to capture my experience and existence with a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). Living in the Haze.

After a 2 year intensive recovery process, I was able to enter the world again as a human, not a Bike Racer. Fast forward a few more years, and I’ve been able to race at the top level of bikes, but that’s not where the finish line of the story is. It was being able to go out into the world without being in a Haze.

TBI Life: Part 3 #slowlife

5 weeks of darkness

The light too blinding Movement exhausting Nauseous Weak Fog. Confusion. Alone. Trapped in a broken brain. Don’t do anything, Except nothing Thoughts spiral out of control But “don’t think” Lay there No

TBI Life: Final Installment #slowlife

Pain Rage Sorrow Agony Loss

Grasping my jersey

Torn between embracing and ripping it apart. Dreams and goals condensed and made tangible into a Fabric dyed and colored by sacrifice, sweat, blood, Cut to fit the body etched by hours of suffering, work, joy, happiness, peace, flying, challenge, perseverance and Pain. My heart, soul, passion on my sleeve.

The skin underneath, left pale and colorless without it.

Fingers snap!

A dream gone,

The dreamer, broken

Trapped by the dark

No escape, outlet, relief. Stuck.

Grounded.

No more flying. Not now, Maybe not ever.