FallinLove Fridays

Fall-In-Love Fridays

By Kandice King

With 2019 days away from being over, I can say that this year has completely changed my perspective on what matters and what is important in life. I am a single mother of two amazing children that have a gigantic age gap. There are nine years between the two, so finding things that my pocketbook can afford and that they are both interested in can feel impossible. Some days, it is impossible. At the beginning of this year we suffered an unexpected loss. My best friend of many years died abruptly, and this was a significant blow to me. The kids and I had just moved into our new place, I had just started a new job and a new quarter was starting in a week. If you can read between the lines, I was working fulltime, going to school andraising kids-alone. Did I mention it was basketball season? And, I was grieving. I laugh as I type this because it is amazing how God works. Over the years my friend and I had gone our own ways, but there was still that unspoken love and bond. Thankfully for me, I saw her a week or so before she died. Losing her reminded me of how very precious life is. I started to really think about just how busy I was. What exactly was I trying to accomplish? A good waged job that supported my kids and myselfwas always the answer. Maybe this was just a justification I had. Truly, I need a job with good benefits and pay, but I did not need to be so busy.

27 In April I made the decision to put school on hold and the very next day I lost my job. Immediately I wanted to register for school, but something told me to hold back. My son was at the end of his junior year, was about to enter his last year of high school, and I needed a break. Fear was the first thing that waved over me, but when the school year ended, I found that I had time to hang out with my kids again.

I created for us a mandatory Friday adventures and dubbed them fall-in-love-and-find-something-new-Fridays. Our lives are far from perfect, money is tight, both kids like to pick on each other, and neither of their fathers are present in ways the kids or even I would like them to be, but in these Friday adventures I found the love I was missing and all of us were able to relax a little bit.

One week we’d head out east to Beacon Rock, the next week we were in Seaside taking in the ocean surf and feeling the absolute abundance life has for all of us. I’d pack snacks and drinks; we’d fill up the tank and usually decide where we were going once we piled in the car. There were fights, arguments over the radio and typical sibling stuff, but there were also moments of belly laughter, brother giving piggyback rides down mountainsides, and a mom with a full heart of gratitude.

My favorite fall-in-love-and-find-something-new-Friday wasn’t during the summer at all. My favorite Friday came on the first Friday we had no school. In an attempt to hamper the back-to-school blues, I challenged the kids to an adventure. Neither of them wanted to go toofar from home, so we decided to go a little east and a little north. Once we left Daybreak Park, the eldest decided to drive. When we got past the Ape Caves we decided to keep going, and at every rest we took, we decided to keep going. We traveled through the woods, walked along a little river, and found snow on this “little” drive. Never quite knowing where we were going, we ended up driving the back-way over Mount St. Helens into this little town and didn’t get home till after 10 pm. So much for a little trip only I wanted to go on!

I was so proud watching my son navigate the roads and seeing the excitement in my daughter’s eyes when her brother helped her over the little river. It was on that trip that I realized that whatever life threw at us, we could handle it. Nothing was bigger thanour sense of wonder and amazement at all the universe has to give. Nothing is bigger than the love of family and falling in love with the life that surrounds us. Nothing is bigger than finding gratitude in the simplest of mini-road trips.

So remember,as the holidays areapproaching, while it is easy to get wrapped up in the consumerism of this time of year, the best memories come from actively engaging and spending time with your loved ones. Here are a few pocket-saving festive tips from our family:

Pile the kids in the car and go Christmas light hunting! Our family makes hot chocolate before we head out and we take off in a direction to find the BEST light display of the evening.

Bundle up and walk a trail! I have found that when I get out and walk a trail,the nature that surrounds our city is amazing and beautiful. No matter what the day has been, being out with the birds and the turtles helps me realize how unimportant my day has been in the grander scheme of life. Here is a map from City of Vancouver to help you on your journey; https://www.cityofvancouver.us/sites/ default/files/fileattachments/parks_an d_recreation/page/1088/trail_final_we b.pdf