March 2017 | the EARTH issue

Isle of Man Premier Magazine | no. 62 | March 2017 | the [EARTH] issue

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#62

[EARTH] Isle of Man Premier Magazine | no. 62 | March 2017 | the [EARTH] issue

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INVESTMENT BUSINESS T E C H N O LO G Y

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ON THE AGENDA n NO 28 n MARCH 2017

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cientists believe Earth and its moon formed around the same time as the rest of the solar system. They think that was about 4.5 billion years ago. Earth is the fifth-largest planet in the solar system. Its diameter is about 8,000 miles. And Earth is the third-closest planet to the sun. Its average distance from the sun is about 93 million miles. Only Mercury and Venus are closer.

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Isle of Man | Home & Interiors | March 2017

The best place to find a new place in the Isle of Man

Earth has been called the “Goldilocks planet.” In the story of “Goldilocks and the Three Bears,” a little girl named Goldilocks liked everything just right. Her porridge couldn’t be too hot or too cold, her bed couldn’t be too hard or too soft. On Earth, everything is just right for life to exist. It’s warm, but not too warm. And it has water, but not too much water. (Thanks Wiki) We live on an island surronded by water that we refer to as ‘The Rock’. Not a big rock, rather small in fact. It obviously seems pretty snug and homely to us yet when I meet people from elsewhere in the world and begin to tell its story, people say it sounds like an unusual little part of the planet. Unusual and different perhaps but for sure a small rock on a small rock is where we call home.

Maybe it’s something about being from somewhere small that makes you appreciate seeing the rest of the earth when you get the chance to travel. This month our contributors have travelled in person and in their imaginations to consider our place in the world, and even the potential end of it at the hands of another planet. However, if all that sounds a bit scary, we’ve also got our usual mix of Gallery to keep you amused without you having to leave the safety of your rock.

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CONTENTS PICKS

THE END IS NIGH!

UPFRONT

IS IT A BIRD, IS IT A PLANE, OR IS IT AN IMPENDING INTERPLANETARY CATACLYSMIC ARMAGEDDON? WORDS Abigail Ali

IS IT A BIRD, IS IT A PLANE, OR IS IT AN IMPENDING INTERPLANETARY CATACLYSMIC ARMAGEDDON? A YEAR ON SINCE THE CALIFORNIA OF TECHNOLOGY WORDS INSTITUTE Abigail Ali RELEASED EVIDENCE TO SUGGEST A NEW PLANET MAY BE IN ORBIT ON THE CUSP OF OUR SOLAR SYSTEM, ALL MANNER OF CATASTROPHIC INTERGALACTIC PREDICTIONS HAVE FOLLOWED LEAVING US MERE A YEAR ON SINCE THE CALIFORNIA EARTHLINGS DIZZY IN THEIR WAKE. INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY RELEASED EVIDENCE TO SUGGEST A NEW PLANET MAY BE IN ORBIT ON THE CUSP OF OUR SOLAR SYSTEM, ALL MANNER OF CATASTROPHIC The mighty space physicians of NASA study the wonders of the among us, that means in basics that the cosmonauts reckon there's INTERGALACTIC PREDICTIONS HAVE FOLLOWED LEAVING US MERE universe; ethereal activity, theories of creation and all manner of some absolutely massive mysterious object in the abyss wreaking EARTHLINGS DIZZY IN THEIR WAKE. compelling wonders in the cosmos. But when an inundation of havoc with anything that comes within its path. Astrophysicists meteor showers, unusual planetary movement and a barrage of comets were recorded beyond the 9th planet, Pluto (we recognise

you Pluto, notphysicians sizeists here at Gallery) waswonders bewildering even The mightywere space of NASA studyit the of the for those studying the mystic mysteries of the and solarall system.

Using universe; ethereal activity, theories of creation manner of this phenomenal data, calculation proposed compelling wonders inthe themathematical cosmos. But when an inundation of was thatshowers, there was a heavy gravitational pull from unknown meteor unusual planetary movement andan a barrage of high energy which was causing planetary comets were mass recorded beyond the 9th misalignment planet, Pluto (we recognise response anomalies. for those non-astrophysicists you Pluto,and were‘space’ not sizeists here And at Gallery) it was bewildering even for those studying the mystic mysteries of the solar system. Using this phenomenal data, the mathematical calculation proposed was that there was a heavy gravitational pull from an unknown high energy mass which was causing misalignment planetary response and ‘space’ anomalies. And for those non-astrophysicists

at CALTECH have pet named the mass ‘Planet 9’ whilst NASA are merely calling it a theory however, like most great hypothesis,

take to the internet andinyou’ll conspiracy theorists and space among us, that means basicsfind that the cosmonauts reckon there's experts alike spiraling outmysterious of control with their own ideas, claims some absolutely massive object in the abyss wreaking and various alien warding headwear anditstechnology to share with havoc with anything that comes within path. Astrophysicists theCALTECH world. Thehave whisper on thethe webmass in this instance is that the at pet named ‘Planet 9’ whilst NASA culprit for the chaos in facthowever, the ancient ‘Nibiru’ infiltrating are merely calling it aistheory likePlanet most great hypothesis, our solar once 3600 years in orbit. take to thesystem internet andagain you’llafter findsome conspiracy theorists and space

UPFRONT

CULTURE

CULTURE

Nibir-who? As the legends go this colossal planet, 10X the size presence. Well firstly let’s just reiterate that nobody has actually of Earth, is home to the Annunaki people who descended Earth seen this planet in the rock, so it remains a hypothesis as far 3600 years ago on Nibiru’s last orbit. Stone carvings from the as NASA are concerned. But there’s no argument that strange Sumerians, the most ancient civilisation recorded, were discovered things are happening in both outer and inner space. Scientists in modern day Southern Iraq. Their illustrations portrayed giant are discovering that the Solar System, the Sun, and life itself are like men coming to earth in the bronze age to colonise and create mutating in totally unprecedented ways reporting changes in the first civilizations on earth. Of course, challenged against our space that have never been seen before. On earth too we have most familiar theory of the creation of man the stories of the been experiencing monumental unpredictable changes. Between Annunaki dont stand tall, even for giants. But the evidence we do 1963-1993 the overall accounts of environmental devastation have of Planet X shows it from hurricanes, typhoons, traces an unusual, elongated tidal waves, earthquakes, orbit in the outer solar landslides to floods, “WE’VE EXPERIENCED MORE system wreaking havoc on tsunamis and mud slides has NATURAL DISASTERS AND EXTREME its headway back toward increased by 410%. We’ve Planet Earth. Accordingly, experienced more natural WEATHERS IN THE LAST 14 YEARS the flow of plasmatic energy disasters and extreme BEYOND THAT WHICH TIPS THE particles sent from Nibiru’s weathers in the last 14 years RICHTER SCALE TO ALARMING atmosphere will disrupt beyond that which tips the the 'core flows' of the Earth richter scale to alarming HEIGHTS. IS THIS THE DISRUPTIVE and trigger catastrophic heights. Is this the disruptive EFFECTS OF PLANET X, A PRODUCT changes in Earth's climate effects of Planet X, a product and huge natural disasters. of our abuse to planet OF OUR ABUSE TO PLANET Some theorists believe that earth as mankind or just an EARTH AS MANKIND OR JUST AN the gravitational influence unfortunate series of events?

UNFORTUNATE SERIES OF EVENTS?” Either way, the statistics do of the 'rogue planet' already disrupted the orbits of other prove one thing; it’s a fine planets thousands of years time to be a cockroach. ago and created a polar shift and a rise in sea levels which resulted in the last Ice Age. If that’s not chilling enough, the predicted So although Planet X may be very far away and dim, our hopes pathway of this gaseous ball of terror is of course, set for a direct don’t have to be! We survived the millennium bug, which turned out impact with Planet Earth which would obliterate the entirety of to be little more than a sneeze and didn’t implode into a dust cloud humanity on its collision totally exterminating all the life on the and end with the Mayan calendar in 2015. And what’s another year earth's surface. Not exactly what we had in mind when we called for without a brand new doomsday to pencil into our diaries anyway? a clean slate following 2016’s desolate series of affairs.

In the words of Yoda “Fear is the path to the dark side” So fear not, prior to NASA launch The New Horizons Mission later this year So before we barricade ourselves into the garage and start taking which will further explore the outer regions of the solar system and notes from ‘The day after tomorrow’, let’s put conspiracy theorists identify this wild Planet, we reckon you can hold off stockpiling pot aside and take a look at what proof we have here to suggest Nibiru’s noodles until then.

Want to know more? Cosmonauts, astronauts and

On June 30th, Space Physicians, band together to raise awareness probably a few Star Wars fans threats from the void and more and discuss issues of impending on the first ever ‘Asteroid Day.’

W

hen Kenny Diack first approached students to be part of a new graphic novel back in April 2015 he had a clear idea of his aims – to make a mark on the graphic novel market with talent from the Island. And from just the storyline and a competition for school students, the resulting book, ‘A World Apart’ is now available online from the B43Dmedia Facebook page as well as from local outlets, and should be available from Amazon very soon.

FROM CONCEPT TO PAGE: NEW GRAPHIC NOVEL REALLY IS

Has anybody got a Pot Noodle going spare? Hello? Anyone...?

‘A WORLD APART’

asteroidday.org

experts alike spiraling out of control with their own ideas, claims and various alien warding headwear and technology to share with the world. The whisper on the web in this instance is that the culprit for the chaos is in fact the ancient Planet ‘Nibiru’ infiltrating our solar system once again after some 3600 years in orbit.

Words: Suzy Holland Images: Bryan Moore, Andy Noble and Alex Corlett

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FEATURE: Planet X

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Kenny’s vision was to first provide summer internships for Island art students and then to open students’ eyes to the possibility of staying here, or coming back, to make a living from their art. Bryan Moore is the first of these success stories: he graduated from UCM with a BA (Hons) in Fine Art in June and from this month will be working for Kenny’s company B43D at their new premises in Douglas on a number of projects for B43D, including a sequel to ‘A World Apart’, a shorter stand-alone story ‘The Second Skipper’ and the possibility of graphic novel versions of some Manx myths and legends. And there’s a trip to London’s Comic-con, the leading comic and multi-genre entertainment convention, in May to promote ‘A World Apart’.

Graphic novels blend the written text with a visual language and although the book can be read on a very superficial level – just the

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“We started with an original sci-fi fantasy story from Ann-Marie McCarthy, three talented local artists – Bryan Moore, Andy Noble and Alex Corlett - and a competition to come up with concept art for the main characters,” says Kenny, “and now we have the finished book and more on the way.

It’s taken some time, but it’s working out exactly as I hoped.”

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Businesses need to take sustainability seriously, for the sake of the Earth as well as themselves Words By: Wendy Shimmin

ON THE AGENDA

arth seems an awfully big and robust place when you are on it, especially if you live on a small island within a relatively wealthy economy.

Accustomed as we are to a high standard of living, we expect every day to find food and clothes in our shops, water and electricity flowing into our homes and workplaces, and fuel on tap for our heat and transportation. Moreover we expect these things pretty much on demand despite cultivating few of them from our own natural resources.

Our location in the western world, in the midst of other much bigger countries, living in much the same way makes this all seem the norm. It’s only if the boat doesn’t sail or there’s some other supply problem, with an ensuing lack of fresh fruit and veg and toilet rolls, that we even start to consider the resilience of our modern way of life.

But the amazing economic growth kickstarted 250 years ago by the industrial revolution, bringing levels of comfort and wealth that could only have been dreamed of in earlier ages, has come at a price – the negative impact on the planet on which we rely.

For all the good things industrialisation has brought – cheaper, more efficient implemented to limit the negative impact of human development on our planet and in particular significantly reduce carbon emissions by 2050. The Isle of Man is among these, along with G8 nations and other developed economies.

2050 may seem a long way off still but, in order to hit the goal, things will need to start to change sooner and businesses need to be planning now how this will affect them.

For the upshot is that to reach those targets the Isle of Man will need to be at pretty much zero carbon emissions for its electricity production, buildings, land use and transport by the half-century. This will require a massive shift from where we are now and it’s likely there will need to be a carrot and stick approach to public policy to achieve it.

Businesses need to think through how this transition to a low carbon economy will impact them – in terms of the product or service they provide, its future relevance and cost, its supply and distribution. What effect will these changes have on processes, people and premises? What innovation will be needed, how will customer demand change and what are the risks to brand and reputation of not taking action?

Some factors, such as potential tax incentives or levies are not yet fully IN-BUSINESS/FEATURE

powered dumper truck to transport it so you’re practically running a carbon neutral operation. Actually, don’t stop buying those carbon credits to offset your emissions just yet because here’s the kicker. The 360 tonne unladen weight isn’t made up of about 200 tonnes of lithium-ion batteries (roughly equivalent to enough to power the sun, according to those Belorussian man-mathematicians), the electricity comes from two onboard generators. Oh, and those generators are powered by two V16 diesel engines, each displacing a whopping 65 litres and producing a combined 4,600 horsepower. Oh well, he thought was there, at least, and it’d probably take all night and then some to charge it with an extension lead running from the Portakabin where they take their teabreaks. Which is exactly where you’ll be whiling away your time whilst you wait for the 5,600 litre diesel tank to be refilled.

production, huge medical advances, wider prosperity – its reliance on fossil fuel and intensive agriculture has had far-reaching consequences for our environment and the ability of earth to continue to sustain us. Add to this the enormous explosion in human population over this short timeframe – from some 300-500 million people in the early 1700s to upwards of 7 billion today – and suddenly our world doesn’t seem quite so big.

In fact, by some calculations, it’s claimed that if everyone on earth lived at the same levels of consumption as the population of Kuwait, the US or UAE, we would need 4 or 5 planets to provide enough resources and absorb our carbon emissions. The same calculations suggest we already actually need 1.5 planets – the extra half to absorb the carbon emissions our single planet is not currently coping with.

Clearly this trajectory is unsustainable – there are, after all, no other Earths to use – and the need for sustainable development, characterised as ‘meeting the needs of today without compromising the needs of future generations’, is now widely acknowledged.

Donald Trump notwithstanding, Governments around the world have agreed that measures must be apparent but other trends are becoming clearer. Investors, for example, are becoming increasingly environmentally conscious – not because they are necessarily ardent “greens” but simply because they can see the economic sense in the efficiencies companies will need to make and the rising costs of resources. Similarly shareholders and other stakeholders now more often see the reputational value of evidencing environmental policy or activity in the annual report.

Of course many businesses already have some kind of environmental or sustainable policy so they have already made a first step. But for those who haven’t, they need to start looking beyond recycling their paper and turning the lights off. A more systematic root and branch review will be required.

The good news is that where there is change there is opportunity – innovation and new technologies will undoubtedly have a big role to play. And of course those companies that can look ahead and adapt to supporting more sustainable practices will by that very virtue become more sustainable themselves. It won’t necessarily be easy but it will be necessary, for all of us who call this earth home.

WORDS Russ Atkinson

IF YOU’RE IN THE BUSINESS OF MOVING EARTH, YOU’RE PROBABLY NOT DOING EARTH TOO MANY FAVOURS. BUT CAN YOU HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT? Picture the scene: you’ve got a coal or iron mine of biblical proportions somewhere in Siberia and you need to extract ore at an unholy rate to make it pay. It’s a big gamble that requires big machinery, but the operation has to be incredibly efficient.

Heavy work in tough conditions, day in, day out, year round.

If I’m honest, your first priority should be acquiring a Bagger 288 (officially the world’s largest vehicle and so iconic that it even has its own meme on YouTube with nearly 3 million hits). But you’re still going to need something to move all of that overburden and coal about once you’ve dug it up, and that’s where the BelAZ 75710 comes in.

You see, it’s hard to deny that coal is bad for the environment once you burn it and release plumes of carbon dioxide

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and particles of soot and all of the other byproducts that I paid little attention to during chemistry classes in secondary school. It’s the same story for the emissions from the gigantic diesel engines powering the machinery used to extract it from the earth so surely it’s about time somebody at least made a token effort to do something about that? Well if it is, I think that Belorussian plant manufacturer BelAZ might’ve missed the point a little.

But then they have managed to build the largest dumper truck on the planet so as a petrolhead I’m willing to ignore that it probably isn’t Euro VI compliant.

according to the manufacturer. I’ve a feeling it’s slightly more complicated than that in reality, but you’ll be forgiven for forgetting the details when you read what’s coming next: it’s electrically powered.

In a nutshell, the BelAZ 75710 carries a payload 25% bigger than the next largest competitor which, presumably employing the power of all of Belarus’ man-mathematicians’ man-maths combined gives an efficiency improvement of 25%

So you’re digging up a fossil fuel with the sole intention of burning it (or attempting to extract sufficient quantities of iron-one with which to make another absurdly sized dumper truck - this is all about efficiency, remember) but using an electrically

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Driven by four electric motors, one for each wheel, this behemoth generates a combined 7,200 horsepower, weighs 360 tonnes unladen and can carry a staggering 450 metric tonnes of material in that shallow load bed bolted to it. The reason it’s so shallow? Purely so that the operator isn’t tempted to overload it. As if 450 tonnes at a time wasn’t enough already.

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“IN A NUTSHELL, THE BELAZ 75710 CARRIES A PAYLOAD 25% BIGGER THAN THE NEXT LARGEST COMPETITOR WHICH, PRESUMABLY EMPLOYING THE POWER OF ALL OF BELARUS’ MAN-MATHEMATICIANS’ MANMATHS COMBINED GIVES AN EFFICIENCY IMPROVEMENT OF 25% ACCORDING TO THE MANUFACTURER.” electrically powered.

Reading about this got me thinking that if you need around seven thousand horsepower to carry 450 tonnes of ore but you need over four and a half thousand horsepower of diesel generators to create enough electrical energy to propel the fully laden truck to an admittedly impressive top speed of 40mph then why not just stick another sixteen cylinder diesel motor in there and be done with it?

You’re producing something that transports coal, after all.

Could it be that nobody else is likely to bother, meaning you’re pretty much guaranteed to hold onto the Guinness World Record for largest diesel-hybrid ultra class haul truck? Or could there be something more to all of this? Could it be that the electrical motors offer a more efficient transmission solution owing to having less moving parts than a conventional gearbox and transfer gearbox used in conventional all-wheel-drive vehicles? Apparently not, as the Siemens system that ties it all together is allegedly quite complex and has lead to concerns that BelAZ’s approach isn’t a particularly efficient one even if it’s able to limp back to your oversized workshop on three motors if one experiences a failure.

The upshot, I suppose, apart from the willy-waving side of things at least, is that electric motors supply instant, smooth and linear torque which has surely got to be a distinct advantage operating in the unforgiving and unrelenting environments that these impressive machines are expected to work in. But does it have a kettle in the cab? That’d surely be the height of operating efficiency.

CONSOLATION PRIZES Operating the world’s biggest dump truck is one thing, but we live in a world where the customer is king and the king always has choices. So here are the next five biggest ultra class dumper trucks for you to take a look at, because it’s nice to have options: LIEBHERR T-282B

Another diesel-hybrid creation, this one comes with a choice of 3,650 horsepower 90 litre V20 and 3,500 horsepower 78 litre V18 engines.

Final assembly is taken care of on the purchaser’s premises so it must be a nightmare flogging one second hand.

CATERPILLAR 797F

American industrial giant Caterpillar’s largest offering, the 797F superceded the 797B and can carry an extra 18.1 tonnes. Hopefully Caterpillar staff are better at building trucks than learning the alphabet.

TEREX/BUCYRUS MT 6300AC

Terex can’t take all of the glory for this one as they acquired production of the MT 6300AC when they purchased Bucyrus. You may be surprised to read that this sporty notso-little number is rear wheel drive.

KOMATSU 930E-3SE

Behold! What you see here is the world’s best-selling ultra class haul truck with sales reaching over 1000 units. Surprisingly, despite being considered their flagship model it’s neither their largest or heaviest hauling creation.

HITACHI EH5000ACII

The baby of the bunch, carrying just 296 tonnes of whatever you’ve got 296 tonnes of that you need moving somewhere, this clever machine streams operating data through the internet constantly to help the operator assess and improve its operating productivty remotely.

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THE REST UPFRONT

AGENDA

Edito..............................................................................................................5 Contents......................................................................................................6 Travel.............................................................................................................7 Leave The Earth Behind........................................................................8 What’s on..................................................................................................10 Me & My Pet..............................................................................................12 Planet X.......................................................................................................14 Feature........................................................................................................16 News in Numbers....................................................................................18 Heart & Sole: The Parish Walk 2017................................................20 GIVE...........................................................................................................20 Legally Blonde........................................................................................22 MISC...........................................................................................................22

Business News.........................................................................................54 Movers & Shakers....................................................................................56 A Valuable Asset for an Investor - Time........................................58 When is Enough, Enough?..................................................................60 Social Network for the Worlds Wealthiest...................................64 IT Works Event.........................................................................................66 Future-Proofing.......................................................................................68 Embrace the Digital Pile-Up................................................................70

EVENTS Thomas & Alexandra's Wedding Day............................................28 Katherine Freeman & Richard Whitfield's Wedding Day.......26 Parent2Parent Diamond Divas Cocktail Party............................32 Wi-Manx Rugby Event.........................................................................34

CULTURE Culture Vulture.......................................................................................38 Culture News..........................................................................................39 A World Apart........................................................................................40 Be Part of Isle of Architecture - #Ilovethisbuilding.................44 Upload .....................................................................................................46

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PLACES Property FOR SALE........................................................................73-90

APPETITE Recipes.......................................................................................................92 Somewhere in Berlin ............................................................................94 Cheat Meals...............................................................................................95 Wine Talk...................................................................................................96

FASHION & BEAUTY Fashion Flash............................................................................................98 Beauty Bulletin.......................................................................................100

HARDWARE Motoring News.......................................................................................102 Gadgets.....................................................................................................104 Phone Home...........................................................................................106

TRAVEL

PAPARAZZI

Holidays on a Shoestring...................................................................50

Are you in?........................................................................................107-116 ISLE OF MAN PREMIER MAGAZINE

UPFRONT

COVER CREDIT

Photographer: Shan Fisher Makeup Artist: Heather Maddrell Hairpiece and Styling: Heidi Baker from The Flower Studio Hairstylist: Jenna O’sullivan Model: Courtney Glover Location: The Colby Glen Outfit: Faux Fur Coat – photographer own 1

COVER: the EARTH ISSUE

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UPFRONT

WORDS Grant Runyon ILLUSTRATION David Grimes

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The people behind Gallery are responsible, so the articles in this earth-themed issue are likely to give the readers a gentle prod in a slightly more sustainable direction. We all know we should recycle more, consume less and generally take better care of our planet - because it’s the only one we’ve got.

Those who disagree regard our planetary home as an infinite well of resources that must be exploited for maximum profit; they shrug off the evidence of our impact on the globe as questionable, biased or just “alternative facts”. In an age of melting glaciers and dying forests those people are starting to look very stupid indeed, but they’re in control of the world, and even as we battle them a third viewpoint has emerged. It is held by a faction who definitely agree that our species is ruining the planet, but their preferred solution is that we keep burning up resources, industrialise at a faster rate, and work together for a common goal - not to save our planet, but to leave it behind and find a new one.

Calf of Man and telling people you live in the ocean. Russian technology is currently the only way to ride, and nobody wants to put all our space eggs in the basket called “Offworld Aeroflot”. So, the dotcom billionaires are first going to need to work out a safe, cost-effective way of lifting millions of tonnes of stuff into orbit without any of it blowing up or falling back down, and then assembling it into the interplanetary equivalent of Virgin Atlantic, Heathrow Airport and those little buses that carry your suitcase. I assume the inventor of Uber is on the job, but they haven’t even worked out how to operate in The Isle of Man, let alone deep space.

Challenge 2: the immense difficulty of long distance space travel

Moonbase Amazon and the Myspace from Mars

Colonising new worlds has been a dream of humanity for centuries, a goal expressed eloquently by utopian thinkers who thought that the human race was capable of coming together as one and making a new home amongst the stars. The likes of Arthur C Clarke gazed upwards to the heavens in hope, but today’s proponents of interplanetary travel are less socially idealistic. They are predominately drawn from the ranks of the super-rich, specifically California’s high-technology billionaires, and are attracted to space travel because they either can’t be bothered or lack the capacity to solve any problem on Earth that can’t be addressed with an app. These people certainly aren’t short of belief in their own abilities, but the only hitch is that establishing an off-world colony is, to put it mildly, somewhat more challenging than arranging to dodge tax on 24-hour delivery of a Sherlock box set. I too want to live on a planet with breathable air, so on the assumption that they are monitoring my email I’ve listed some roadblocks that our saviours will need to overcome.

At currently achievable speeds, a journey to our nearest potentially inhabitable neighbour (Mars) would take between seven months and a year. This trip would already be several orders of magnitude more dangerous than any journey undertaken by a human crew, and would need to be

then this one is a whole different ball game.

Remember, we are talking about a species that couldn’t work out how to safely manage the ecosystem on the one planet perfect to support it, and is nonetheless expecting to develop technology to wholly adapt a hostile foreign environment to its incredibly precise needs. Humans struggle when there’s too much pollen in the atmosphere, but colonising space will require us to create a breathable environment and produce food on an entire alien world.

What if we get to Mars and discover it’s covered in space gluten? We’d be dooming our descendants to bloating, tiredness and bad skin. That’s a silly example, but reality holds a million unknown dangers - evolved human germs, unknown Martian bacteria, new toxins. The scientific community can’t even agree on whether butter is bad for you, so personally I’m not taking their best guess on whether my descendants can live on Mars without recreating the pyramid scene from Total Recall.

“Even once you’re in space the moon is still three days away, through a vacuum dotted with radiation and flying rocks - the AA don’t offer breakdown coverage out there”

Challenge 1: the massive level of resources required to leave Earth’s orbit

There’s a reason that nobody has been to the moon recently, which is that the trip is incredibly dangerous, requires a highlytrained crew and expends gigantic quantities of fuel just to push a small rocket into orbit.

Even once you’re in space the moon is still three days away, through a vacuum dotted with radiation and flying rocks - the AA don’t offer breakdown coverage out there. The International Space Station is a wonderful achievement, but in space colony terms it’s the planetary equivalent of camping at the

BECAUSE QUALITY MATTERS

conducted in a vehicle that could contain all of the necessities for habitation, ship repair and eventual long-term survival on a planet with an average temperature of -55°C. When you consider that the vehicle would also need enough space for a large crew to move around, exercise and interact without killing each other you’re going to end up with a space rocket at the very least the size of a nuclear submarine, which drastically increases both the fuel requirement and the danger from space debris. There is a possibility that a colony waypoint could be constructed in Mars orbit by robots, and get everything ready for a much smaller humancrewed vehicle, but if we’re being lead by Californian techies we’ll be expecting this to be done safely by a community who can’t even stop Russian teenagers from hacking your fridge.

Challenge 3: the unprecedented task of creating a habitable environment If challenges #1 and #2 are difficult, but ultimately achievable, engineering tasks,

Challenge 4: recreating human society on a foreign world

Based on our history, the biggest challenge to extra-planetary colonisation won’t be space travel or the science required to settle a new planet, it will be the part of our brains that has barely evolved from our vicious monkey ancestors. If it’s possible that humanity can somehow scrape together enough resources to escape Earth, the prevailing scientific dream has been that this effort will be lead by the best and brightest among us, the selfless elite who see through petty squabbles and work in service of our shared humanity.

The problem is that these people will need to bring the rest of us with them, and the likelihood is that the colonists to our new home will be chosen by President Donald Trump and some billionaire sociopaths from San Francisco. If we assume that even a barely functioning Mars colony might take 10 to 30 years for them to build, can you imagine what kind of a place will greet new arrivals once those people have finished work? A freezing, potentially poisonous mass of dead rock, adapted for humanity by the handpicked servants of a sweet potato fascist and people who spy on their staff during toilet breaks. The Total Recall comparison was supposed to be a joke, but it might not be too far off the truth. We will have ruined a perfectly good planet, travelled across the solar system at the cost of many lives, and the only thing we’ll have to show for it is self-driving cars, psychic mutants and a radioactive hooker with three boobs.

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UPFRONT

WHAT’S ON 08.03.2017

18.03 – 25.03.2017

//ISLE OF MAN// The newly formed Women Of Mann group is planning a local event on International Women’s Day celebrating the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women across the world.

//GAIETY THEATRE, DOUGLAS// The Manx Operatic Society brings you a fabulously fun international award winning musical based on the adored movie Legally Blonde. You will follow the transformation of Elle Woods as she tackles stereotypes, snobbery and scandal in pursuit of her dreams.

INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY

Join www.facebook.com/womenofmann and find out how you can be part of this international event.

Now – 21.04.2017

VALHALLA – LIFE AND DEATH IN VIKING BRITAIN.

//HOUSE OF MANANNAN, PEEL// The Vikings had strong beliefs in life after death and how their dead were commemorated and celebrated. Discover the evidence in this latest collaboration with York Archaeological Trust and explore the mythological Viking worlds of the afterlife. www.manxnationalheritage.im

now – 06.05.2017

SOPHIA MORRISON: THE FIRST CURATOR

//MANX MUSEUM, DOUGLAS// Sophia Morrison is probably most wellknown now for her storybook ‘Manx Fairy Tales’, but she did much more than collect Manx fairy stories.

Learn about her varied life and work from promotion of Manx language and culture to her involvement in Manx politics and publishing – Sophia Morrison was a person who made things happen. www.manxnationalheritage.im

now – 23.04.2017

OTHERWORLDS TRAIL

//MANX MUSEUM and HOUSE OF MANANNAN// Join our trails at the Manx Museum and House of Manannan to discover the fascinating worlds of folklore and Norse mythology. Find out what strange and mysterious creatures inhabit Manx folk and fairy tales and learn more about legendary Vikings.

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MARCH LEGALLY BLONDE THE MUSICAL

Seven evening shows and two matinees.

Concessions available for some performances. www.villagaiety.com

18.03.2017

THE OVERTONES

//VILLA MARINA, DOUGLAS// Back by popular demand, the five-piece harmony group return to the Royal Hall at the Villa to lend their support to Junior Achievement Isle of Man. www.villagaiety.com

18.03.2017

SPACE

//VILLA MARINA, DOUGLAS// After their appearance at last year’s Deep South Music Festival in Port St Mary, Space return to the Island but this time indoors at the Villa’s Promenade Suite. Space’s gritty edgy pop songs captivate the imagination and they have sold over 2 million albums worldwide and recorded 40 top ten singles. www.villagaiety.com

22.03.2017

ISLE OF MAN SPORTS AWARDS

//VILLA MARINA, DOUGLAS// The annual sports awards recognise the Island’s top sports men and women, coaches and administrators and are an inspiration to all.

The event also includes the presentation of the 2016 Sure Sports Leader of the Year Award and Sports Aid scholarships to athletes who will be supported by Isle of Man Sport Aid in 2017/2018.

£1 per trail plus standard admission at the House of Manannan (Manx Museum entry free).

Guest of honour at this year’s awards ceremony is 2016 Olympic gold medalwinning hockey player, Kate RichardsonWalsh OBE.

www.manxnationalheritage.im

www.villagaiety.com

Las Fallas

12-19 MARCH, 2017 VALENCIA, SPAIN Exuberant and anarchic, Las Fallas is E rope’s wildest spring party, which is a pretty big deal for what is essentially a glorified puppet show. It’s a time when the city is all but taken over by the fallas, which are huge sculptures of papiermâché on wood, built by teams of local artists. Each neighbourhood sponsors its own falla, and when the town wakes after the plantà (overnight placement of the fallas) on the morning of 16 March, more than 350 have been erected. Reaching up to 15m in height, with the most expensive costing more than €350,000 to build, these grotesque, colourful effigies satirise celebrities, current affairs and local customs. It’s a week long festival so be prepared to pace yourselves.

WWW.FALLAS.COM

Starkbierzeit

TWO WEEKS AROUND ST JOSEPH’S DAY (19 MARCH) PAULANER KELLER, MUNICH, GERMANY

Meet Oktoberfest’s little brother – the tougher, more down-to-earth sibling whose company can be enjoyed without the crowds. For Bavarians, Starkbierzeit is like the opening of the fridge door to a new season of beer drinking, coming just as winter disappears and summer begins to peep over the horizon.

For them it’s such a momentous occasion that Starkbierzeit has been christened the ‘fifth season’. A celebration not just of any old beer but entirely of strong beer (and the only time of year this beer is available in Munich), Starkbierzeit is a time when brewers parade their most lethal amber ales, the doppelbocks, which have alcohol contents above 7%.

WWW.MUENCHEN.DE

South By Southwest (SXSW) 10-19 MARCH, 2017 AUSTIN, TEXAS

This music festival is so large it has almost single-handedly earned Austin the title of ‘live music capital of the world’. Started in 1987, it brings the music industry and performers together for 10 days – bands come to be discovered and music execs come to discover.

During the day, industry buffs head to the Austin Convention Center to talk shop at a trade show, and by night more than 1200 acts perform at 50 or so venues across the city.

Coupled with the music festival, SXSW has swelled in recent years to include a film festival and conference and a festival for interactive media.

WWW.SXSW.COM

ISLE OF MAN PREMIER MAGAZINE

UPFRONT

ME & MY PET

Human Questions: India Burnett Breed: Human Age? 22

Where do you live? Castletown

Likes? Shopping and wine

Where are you originally from?

Castletown

Dislikes? Mushrooms

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If animal what would you be? Parrot

Where do you work? Menzies Aviation, Ronaldsway Airport

Favourite food? Lasagne

Do you have any more pets? A dog

Would you have any more pets?

Yes The best and worst thing about having a pet is? Best - Cuddles. Worst Cleaning Interesting fact: I’m obsessed with all things Disney

ISLE OF MAN PREMIER MAGAZINE

••••

UPFRONT

Give an animal a home

Obi Handsome Obi is a four year old Springer Spaniel who is very typical of his breed – bouncy, fun-loving and energetic. He loves to swim and he can walk for miles, and so he will suit an active new owner who can share his love of the outdoors. Obi needs further training and the ManxSPCA kennels team will assist his new owner with this, so that he continues to progress and respond to instructions. He isn’t fond of other dogs, and because he is a bit boisterous and has such a ‘big’ personality he should only go to a home with older children. He will repay the time invested in him and be the most amazing exercise ‘buddy’ for his new owner.

Elvis & Pricilla Breed? Bearded Dragon and Corn Snake Age? Two and six months Likes? Bearded dragon baths and our snake mice Dislikes? Both don’t like being woken up If human what would you be? My owner Favourite food? Mice and grasshoppers Why do you love your human? They feed me If you had one wish what would you wish for? Lifetime supply of mice and grasshoppers Interesting fact: The snake will grow up to 5ft long. Bearded Dragons have a third eye called the parietal eye.

BECAUSE QUALITY MATTERS

Holly and Molly These lovely sisters came to Ard Jerkyll because their previous owner’s child develop allergies and their fur exacerbated the problem. They are ‘middle aged’ in cat years at twelve and they are both in excellent health, with steady and dependable personalities as befits their maturity. They are used to children but they are not the most confident of cats and so they need a relatively quiet home without too much hustle and bustle. They adore people and liked being fussed over and stroked, and so they won’t be the sort of cats that disappear all day and only come home at teatime!

ManxSPCA • Ard Jerkyll, East Foxdale • Tel: 851672

www.manxspca.com

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UPFRONT

IS IT A BIRD, IS IT A PLANE, OR IS IT AN IMPENDING INTERPLANETARY CATACLYSMIC ARMAGEDDON? WORDS Abigail Ali

A YEAR ON SINCE THE CALIFORNIA INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY RELEASED EVIDENCE TO SUGGEST A NEW PLANET MAY BE IN ORBIT ON THE CUSP OF OUR SOLAR SYSTEM, ALL MANNER OF CATASTROPHIC INTERGALACTIC PREDICTIONS HAVE FOLLOWED LEAVING US MERE EARTHLINGS DIZZY IN THEIR WAKE. The mighty space physicians of NASA study the wonders of the universe; ethereal activity, theories of creation and all manner of compelling wonders in the cosmos. But when an inundation of meteor showers, unusual planetary movement and a barrage of comets were recorded beyond the 9th planet, Pluto (we recognise you Pluto, were not sizeists here at Gallery) it was bewildering even for those studying the mystic mysteries of the solar system. Using this phenomenal data, the mathematical calculation proposed was that there was a heavy gravitational pull from an unknown high energy mass which was causing misalignment planetary response and ‘space’ anomalies. And for those non-astrophysicists

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among us, that means in basics that the cosmonauts reckon there's some absolutely massive mysterious object in the abyss wreaking havoc with anything that comes within its path. Astrophysicists at CALTECH have pet named the mass ‘Planet 9’ whilst NASA are merely calling it a theory however, like most great hypothesis, take to the internet and you’ll find conspiracy theorists and space experts alike spiraling out of control with their own ideas, claims and various alien warding headwear and technology to share with the world. The whisper on the web in this instance is that the culprit for the chaos is in fact the ancient Planet ‘Nibiru’ infiltrating our solar system once again after some 3600 years in orbit.

ISLE OF MAN PREMIER MAGAZINE

THE END IS NIGH!

UPFRONT

Nibir-who? As the legends go this colossal planet, 10X the size presence. Well firstly let’s just reiterate that nobody has actually of Earth, is home to the Annunaki people who descended Earth seen this planet in the rock, so it remains a hypothesis as far 3600 years ago on Nibiru’s last orbit. Stone carvings from the as NASA are concerned. But there’s no argument that strange Sumerians, the most ancient civilisation recorded, were discovered things are happening in both outer and inner space. Scientists in modern day Southern Iraq. Their illustrations portrayed giant are discovering that the Solar System, the Sun, and life itself are like men coming to earth in the bronze age to colonise and create mutating in totally unprecedented ways reporting changes in the first civilizations on earth. Of course, challenged against our space that have never been seen before. On earth too we have most familiar theory of the creation of man the stories of the been experiencing monumental unpredictable changes. Between Annunaki dont stand tall, even for giants. But the evidence we do 1963-1993 the overall accounts of environmental devastation have of Planet X shows it from hurricanes, typhoons, traces an unusual, elongated tidal waves, earthquakes, orbit in the outer solar landslides to floods, “WE’VE EXPERIENCED MORE system wreaking havoc on tsunamis and mud slides has NATURAL DISASTERS AND EXTREME its headway back toward increased by 410%. We’ve Planet Earth. Accordingly, experienced more natural WEATHERS IN THE LAST 14 YEARS the flow of plasmatic energy disasters and extreme BEYOND THAT WHICH TIPS THE particles sent from Nibiru’s weathers in the last 14 years RICHTER SCALE TO ALARMING atmosphere will disrupt beyond that which tips the the 'core flows' of the Earth richter scale to alarming HEIGHTS. IS THIS THE DISRUPTIVE and trigger catastrophic heights. Is this the disruptive EFFECTS OF PLANET X, A PRODUCT changes in Earth's climate effects of Planet X, a product and huge natural disasters. of our abuse to planet OF OUR ABUSE TO PLANET Some theorists believe that earth as mankind or just an EARTH AS MANKIND OR JUST AN the gravitational influence unfortunate series of events?

UNFORTUNATE SERIES OF EVENTS?” Either way, the statistics do of the 'rogue planet' already disrupted the orbits of other prove one thing; it’s a fine planets thousands of years time to be a cockroach. ago and created a polar shift and a rise in sea levels which resulted in the last Ice Age. If that’s not chilling enough, the predicted So although Planet X may be very far away and dim, our hopes pathway of this gaseous ball of terror is of course, set for a direct don’t have to be! We survived the millennium bug, which turned out impact with Planet Earth which would obliterate the entirety of to be little more than a sneeze and didn’t implode into a dust cloud humanity on its collision totally exterminating all the life on the and end with the Mayan calendar in 2015. And what’s another year earth's surface. Not exactly what we had in mind when we called for without a brand new doomsday to pencil into our diaries anyway? a clean slate following 2016’s desolate series of affairs.

In the words of Yoda “Fear is the path to the dark side” So fear not, prior to NASA launch The New Horizons Mission later this year So before we barricade ourselves into the garage and start taking which will further explore the outer regions of the solar system and notes from ‘The day after tomorrow’, let’s put conspiracy theorists identify this wild Planet, we reckon you can hold off stockpiling pot aside and take a look at what proof we have here to suggest Nibiru’s noodles until then.

Want to know more?, Cosmonauts, astronauts and

ans On June 30th, Space Physici ess band together to raise awaren probably a few Star Wars fans e mor and void the from ing threats and discuss issues of impend .’ on the first ever ‘Asteroid Day asteroidday.org

BECAUSE QUALITY MATTERS

Has anybody got a Pot Noodle going spare? Hello? Anyone...?

15

UPFRONT

1

If in doubt, don’t buy it. If you have to think about it too much then it’s not right, same goes for relationships btw. If you have to question if you really love the person then it’s not “the one” for you. Oops, hope you haven’t already married them!

2

Be nice. That’s it, just be nice to people! Not over the top, gushy, in their face niceness but no need for bitch faced responses/online trolling etc. You know who you are!

3

This is your face so just deal with it. You don’t look like anyone else and you never will so stop obsessing. Get a good haircut and a decent primer and make the most of your face, warts and all (although, maybe, you know, see someone if there are actual warts)

THE BEST 10 LIFE LESSONS ON EARTH Cynical words by: Clare Bowie

4

Buy clothes that fit you and always, always wear a long top over leggings. Tight, tight “can’t really breathe in them” jeans look bad and feel bad; there are other ways to maintain that muffin top.

6

Just say no. Guess what? If you don’t want to go out, that’s ok. Be nice about it though (see no. 2) you can say no thanks in a nice way, don’t lie about it, pretend you’re coming, and then not show up like some kind of deceitful, duplicitous cow!

7

Let stuff go. Stop mentally holding onto old stuff that happened ages ago. You can choose to be bitter but all that frowning and fretting is probably bad for your skin and may give you wrinkles or even warts.

5

Relax a little bit, it shouldn’t take 4 gins to take the edge off. Stop taking everything so seriously; nobody has died (unless they have and you will have to ignore that advice and have 5 gins).

9

If you have kids just get on with it and stop boring everyone else about it. Nobody really cares about your kids or about you really. They’re all too busy worrying about their own face, personality, pent up bitterness, rage and regret etc. #Justtheusualstuff.

10

Have a laugh, visit new places, try and live in the moment and stop taking bloody selfies, you self obsessed, shallow weirdo.

8

Take risks. Not ridiculous risks like skateboarding naked down the motorway but maybe a small step out of the comfort zone now and again. You could try a new look, hairstyle or career direction. Too much? Ok, just try and order a different Domino’s now and again.

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ISLE OF MAN PREMIER MAGAZINE

UPFRONT

Some of the best places on earth are right on your doorstep THE PLANET EARTH IS FULL OF WONDERFUL LOCATIONS TO EXPLORE, AND THERE’S NO BETTER PLACE TO START THAN ON YOUR OWN DOORSTEP! The possibilities are almost limitless when you book your next adventure with the Isle of Man Steam Packet Company. Take your car and you have the freedom to explore as near or far as you choose, and with a choice of ports to travel to – Heysham, Liverpool, Dublin and Belfast – the world is your oyster.

How about a family road trip to the Peak District? Bring the bikes and you can ride along a range of cycle paths set in beautiful scenery, or jump in the car to visit historic market towns like Bakewell or quaint villages such as Pilsley, with the stunning Chatsworth House nearby.

For an urban escape, Manchester has shopping, museums, football and much more, as well as the ‘out of this world’ Jodrell Bank Discovery Centre a short drive away – essential for budding scientists and astronauts!

If you are thinking of a city break, don’t forget fast craft Manannan resumes daily sailings to Liverpool on 31st March. You arrive at the heart of Liverpool’s riverside World Heritage Site – designated an area of global significance by UNESCO – and just minutes away from the bustling city centre.

so you can quickly be on your way to your destination, wherever you choose to go.

Sailings to Dublin and Belfast resume in April, and you can make the most of your Ireland adventure by sailing into one city and coming home from the other. That gives you the opportunity to explore the historic cities as well as the spectacular countryside during your getaway. There’s plenty of fun to be had during the journey between these two great cities, including visits to castles, breath taking scenery, great shopping and plenty of distilleries and breweries which draw in crowds from around the world to learn the story of Ireland’s famous drinks, including Guinness.

When you travel with the Steam Packet Company there’s a world of deals to choose from, with more than 900,000 offer

seats available during 2017, including the 5-Day Short Break with prices for a car and two people starting from just £86 each way. If you’re travelling with the family, the popular Kids Go Free summer special is back for 2017 – visit www.steam-packet.com to discover how up to three children can travel for free!

Start your getaway by simply driving on board, then sitting back and relaxing after choosing from the wide range of seating available in the selection of lounges. For additional convenience you can reserve seats in the Niarbyl Lounge, or enjoy extra luxury with table service and complimentary non-alcoholic drinks in the Premium lounge.

There are no luggage fees and when you bring the car you can pack everything you need for a great break.

There’s so much to see and do so close to home, so start planning your perfect holiday by booking with the Isle of Man Steam Packet Company today at www.steam-packet.com.

Travel as a foot passenger and step off the boat just minutes away from Liverpool’s most popular attractions. Fans flock from all over the Earth to visit the home city of The Beatles, celebrated at The Beatles Story with the largest exhibition of Fab Four mementoes on the planet.

Plus, there’s also plenty of restaurants offering international cuisine, brilliant museums, exciting nightlife and live music and theatre to be enjoyed in the city.

When you sail to Liverpool with your car you’re just minutes away from the M62, easily accessing the motorway network

BECAUSE QUALITY MATTERS

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UPFRONT

in NUMBERS NEWS

21-14

£1.4M

A private operator is to be sought for the Island’s meat plant in order to make it more competitive and save public money. The plant, at Tromode, is run by Isle of Man Meats, a cooperative of farmers, and requires an annual Government subvention. In 2016 this rose to nearly £1.4 million.

Changes on the safe level of alcohol adults can consume in a week is being adopted in the Isle of Man. A key change in the advice sees the number of units that men can safely consume in a week reduced from 21 to 14 bringing it in line with the recommended level for women, which remains unchanged. Fourteen units of alcohol is the equivalent of six pints of beer (4% strength), 6 glasses of wine (13% strength, 175 ml), or 14 single shots of spirits (40% strength).

Three major events will allow local food and drink producers to showcase their wares to thousands of customers. The Department of Environment, Food and Agriculture is inviting food and drink producers to apply for stands at the Southern Agricultural Show, the Royal Manx Agricultural Show and the Isle of Man Food & Drink Festival.

3

The Chief Minister says 500 jobs could be created by companies looking to set up in the Isle of Man.

£1

The Isle of Man’s round £ coins have been saved from extinction. The United Kingdom’s new 12-sided £1 coins will enter circulation on 28 March. But Manx round ones will still be accepted.

500 £50,000

19,000 Easyjet has announced plans for a new route between the Isle of Man and Luton. The airline expects about 19,000 passengers will use the year-round service, which will operate three times a week from 27 March.

The Department of Infrastructure is progressing plans for the redevelopment of Douglas Promenade. While financial and planning approvals are sought and detailed designs are drawn up, the Department will take the opportunity to resurface the southern section of Douglas Promenade as a temporary measure at a cost of approximately £50,000. A similar short-term fix was carried out at the northern end of the Promenade in November.

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ISLE OF MAN PREMIER MAGAZINE

UPFRONT

some facts and stats behind the Island’s most popular mass participation sports event. the total distance covered by 2016 parish walkers, was well over

50,000miles that’s more than DOUBLE the earth’s circumference! the full Parish Walk distance is

HEART AND SOLE: TAKE YOUR FIRST STEPS TOWARDS 2017 MANX TELECOM PARISH WALK The countdown is on for this year’s Manx Telecom Parish Walk on June 17th – and if you haven’t taken part in the Island’s biggest mass participation sports event before, now is the ideal time to make it your fitness challenge for 2017.

With around three months to get in shape, here are some ideas to help you on your way to reaching Santon, Rushen, Peel or however far your legs and lungs will take you!

Get your kit on!

Shoes (surprise, surprise) are the most important piece of kit you will need. If you already have a comfortable pair suitable for walking long distances that will last until the event, don’t change them. If you need a new pair it’s important to get them as soon as possible to give you time to break them in. Try to avoid running shoes designed for training which often have stiff soles and thick cushioning to absorb the heavy impact of running or jogging. Walking is a low impact activity, so less cushioning is required – and walking flexes the foot more than running, so shoes need to allow for this. Racing flats – lightweight and flexible running shoes designed for racing – are ideal for Parish Walk training, and for the big day.

Training days A good way to start training is with three sessions per week with at least one rest day between each session. n Session 1: Try to do your longest walk on a weekend at an easy pace. Start at around 40 minutes and, as you get fitter week by week, build up to around two hours. n Session 2: A brisk pace, slightly faster BECAUSE QUALITY MATTERS

than your longest walk. Build up from 40 minutes up to an hour. n Session 3: Another brisk walk building up from 30 minutes to around 45 minutes as the weeks progress.

As with any type of exercise, if you have any concerns about your health please consult your doctor before beginning a walking training programme. More advice is available on www.manxtelecom.com/ parishwalk Become an eWalker!

Fitness trackers and apps are great for tracking your training progress and helping you to stay motivated. Making your first walk a trip down to the Manx Telecom store to see their wide range of Fitbit devices and accessories is a great way to start! Here’s our choice of the best apps for novice Parish Walkers: n Fitbit: Get the most out of your Fitbit device with this app. n Tips Endomondo Running/Walking: Analyse your performance and set goal challenges with other people. n Google Fit: A great GPS tracking app for walking, running and cycling.

Tips from the top The 2016 Manx Telecom Parish Walk winners give their top tips for first timers: n Richard Gerrard: “Make sure you enjoy the day and the overall experience, as it isn’t very often that the Isle of Man community gets together in this way to take part and support such an event. If you have set yourself a challenging target, accept the fact that you will have a bad

85miles

DUBLIN

as the crow flies, that’s just over: LIVERPOOL • the distance from ATHENS Castletown to Dublin • or from Douglas to Liverpool • or just over 3x the marathon race distance.

155walkers completed the full 85-mile distance in 2016

13,175miles in total

that’s more than the distance from the Isle of Man to New Zealand

the Parish Walk record is

14h 40m 08s (held by Richard Gerrard, 2015) a few of the countries represented in the Parish Walk in recent years...

Australia

France

Netherlands

Belgium

Ireland

UK

Denmark

South Africa

USA

parish walk

June 17th 2017

register for 2017 @ www.parishwalk.com

patch at some point – but, if you persevere, it will pass.” n Karen Chiarello: “The Parish Walk is an amazing event and one you’ll want enjoy. I advise first-time walkers to test out clothing, shoes and food in training walks in a variety of conditions. Carry Vaseline to treat chafing, hydrate well, wear a hat, talk to other walkers, share your journey, and – most of all – have fun!”

Snap happy There’s no need for Parish Walkers to lose time taking selfies during the event! All they will need to do is register for Pic2Go and official photos of them in the race will be automatically uploaded to their personal Facebook page. Pic2Go is a free service provided by Manx Telecom and it is run on an ‘opt in’ basis.

Sign-up now and save a fiver!

Entry costs just £35 if you sign-up before March 31, and it’s £40 from April 1 until entries close at midnight on May 7. www.parishwalk.com

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OUR COMMUNITY

GIVE

SPORTY YOUNGSTERS ON SURE-SPONSORED SCHEME HELP OTHERS TO STAY HEALTHY

Young volunteer sports coaches have been rewarded for helping children to be fit and healthy.

Each year, 16 to 19-year-olds take part in the Sure Sports Leaders’ Programme, run by the Department of Education and Children’s Sports Development Unit (SDU) and sponsored by the telecoms firm.

The teenagers gain skills at a week-long summer training camp at the National Sports Centre, then coach at schools, community clubs, Manx Sport and Recreation (MSR) activities and primary schools’ sports festivals through the year.

For some, their participation leads to a National Governing Body Level 1 coaching award.

Each term, Sure Isle of Man rewards the young leaders who have recorded the most hours coaching.

Harry Hewson, who goes to Queen

Elizabeth II High School, received a £100 Sure voucher from Sarah Jarvis, the company’s Marketing Manager after completing 32 hours as a volunteer. George Dickinson (St Ninian’s High School, 27 hours) received a £75 Sure voucher and Jack Roberts (Ramsey Grammar School, 26 hours) a £50 Sure voucher.

They are among 42 leaders who – in addition to exams and other commitments – completed a total of 440 voluntary hours during the autumn term.

Sarah Jarvis said: ‘With every passing year we see more young volunteers engaging with the Sure Sports Leaders Programme.

Sure is immensely proud to support this initiative, promoting as it does some great community participation and healthy sporting activities for our young people. I also know that this experience looks great on a CV and on a university application form – so we really hope that it leads to some great opportunities for these young leaders.’

Daniel Richardson (St Ninian’s High School), was named overall Sure Sports Leader of the Year 2015/16.

For further information on the Sure Sports Leaders’ Programme call 01624 688557 or email Sam.Caine@gov.im

The Isle of Man Steam Packet Company has given its backing to an ambitious charity challenge which will see a group of cyclists attempt to ride more than 450 miles to raise funds for Dementia charities.

The journey, called stRIDE17, will see 12 women cycling through England, the Isle of Man and Wales for eight days, as well as taking on two hikes.

The Steam Packet Company is assisting with the costs of travelling to and from the Island during the event in August.

ISLE OF MAN STEAM PACKET COMPANY SUPPORTS AMBITIOUS CHARITY CHALLENGE 20

The riders hope to increase awareness of Dementia as well as raising funds for charities Dementia UK and the Alzheimer’s Society. stRIDE17 is being organised by Virginia Bailey whose father

has Vascular Dementia.

Virginia said: ‘We have two clear and simple aims; to raise money to support specialist Dementia care workers and research into the disease and to help families and carers by raising awareness of Dementia through sharing stories and opportunities for support. If anyone in the Isle of Man would like to get involved they can contact me on stride17info@gmail.com.’

ISLE OF MAN PREMIER MAGAZINE

Take your car and enjoy the freedom to explore on your holidays Pack more in - travel by ferry

Prices for a car and two adults start from just £86* each way

Cycle in the Peak District, hike the Yorkshire Dales, explore Scotland’s historic castles or drive through rolling hills and along the stunning coastline in North Wales...you can make the most of your holiday when you take your car on the ferry.

BOOK NOW AT STEAM-PACKET.COM Terms and conditions apply. Subject to availability. A combination of ports should be considered. *Valid for travel from 03/03/17-18/05/17. Journeys must be completed within five days - day of outward sailing counts as day one. Return sailing must commence on or before day five. For payment by credit card, a fee of £3 applies per transaction, not per person.

UPFRONT

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No Dumb Blondes Here - Manx Ops shatters preconceptions with Legally Blonde The Musical Words: Suzy Holland Images: Bloom Creative, Dario Leonetti and Paige Openshaw

T

ake a story about a young woman who’s been judged on her appearance all her life but succeeds against all odds and you might just yawn and think it’s all been done before. But now add in music, dance, song and dogs – yes, dogs – on the Gaiety Stage and prepare to be wowed by The Manx Operatic Society’s latest production – Legally Blonde The Musical.

Do not, I repeat not, think this is just a chick-flic cross-over only suitable for a girls’ night out. The story might be familiar, but the transformation is not just that of Elle Woods, the ‘legally blonde’

BECAUSE QUALITY MATTERS

of the title, but everyone she comes into contact with over the course of a couple of all singing, all dancing hours, proving once and for all that you really shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. And it’s thoughtprovoking, meaningful and very funny.

Casting began last September and, once again, Manx Ops has attracted professional director Anthony Williams back to the Island after their successful collaborations on a number of productions including last year’s rapturously received Oklahoma. Anthony’s other recent credits include Sister Act at Aberystwyth Arts Centre, Private Lives for P&O and he will direct the forthcoming UK national tour of Legally Blonde The Musical which opens in September.

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Fabulously fun ….

Legally Blonde The Musical explodes on the stage with memorable songs and dynamic dances.

Equal parts hilarious and heart-warming, this musical is so much fun, it should be illegal.”

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show, Elle’s chihuahua Bruiser, and Rufus who – without giving too much plot away – has to be rescued by Elle and her new friend, Paulette. The special dog audition attracted over 30 candidates, and as these are demanding roles, four were eventually chosen, including two ‘alternates’ – all of which are new to show business. Step in Charlotte Birtles, of Anova Dog Training to oversee dog - and dog-owner - training which including weeks of homework and then individual sessions getting to know their on-stage owners. At the time of writing, all four dogs have had their own Purite ‘make-overs’ and are just beginning full rehearsals. And I’ll be surprised if they don’t steal what is already a high energy, hugely entertaining show.

I was invited along to rehearsals to see the work that’s gone into this production of Legally Blonde The Musical and how a major show at the Gaiety Theatre is put together. The first thing that struck me was the atmosphere – laughing, singing, costume fitting and tap dancing everywhere you turn, but with a professional respect for director Anthony and his assistant, Sarah Holland (and no, we’re not related) who directs rehearsals when he’s not on the Island. Manx Ops is very obviously a closeknit group but definitely not an unfriendly clique. Newcomer Lois Baker was given the role of the alternate Elle in her first outing for Manx Ops (she’ll be appearing in both matinees and is on stand-by if Elle #1, AnnMarie Craine, is unable to perform) which is a credit to her obvious talent, but also proof of how the society treats everyone the same: if you’re good enough, you’re in.

And if you’re overawed by limelight, be part of the crew.

Any story behind the show has to include the ‘blonde’ of the title. Almost every girl with fair hair succumbs to the lure of being really blonde at some point in her life, whether it’s a home rinse or salon highlights. But for Legally Blonde, Manx Ops turned to one of its sponsors, Daniella Leonetti at Purite On The Bay, to ensure that Ann Marie and Lois went true ‘Elle’ blonde. And Daniella went even further, lending her stylists to provide ‘hair and make-up’ for the whole cast, providing technical assistance for the scenes in the beauty salon to make sure the set and actors look ‘the real thing’ and shutting Purite On the Bay for a whole afternoon so that Bloom Creative could shoot the Manx Ops Legally Blonde promo video.

“Casting began last September and, once again, Manx Ops has attracted professional director Anthony Williams back to the Island.”

“Fabulously fun …. Legally Blonde The Musical explodes on the stage with memorable songs and dynamic dances.

Equal parts hilarious and heart-warming, this musical is so much fun, it should be illegal,” says the official publicity, and I agree. Seven evening shows, two matinees – from what I’ve seen it deserves to be another Manx Ops sell-out.

Legally Blonde The Musical is at the Gaiety Theatre from 18-25 March and tickets are available from www.villagaiety.com, the Welcome Centre and Villa Marina box office or call 01624 694500.

It’s easy to forget that The Manx Operatic Society is not a professional theatre company: these people are all amateurs with busy lives, giving up hours and hours of their time for weeks on end. Yes, Manx Ops is a ‘family’, but one which welcomes new members like Lois with open arms.

This was even more evident last month when one of the major male parts had to be recast. Despite another round of auditions, it probably won’t come as much of a surprise to hear that there’s a shortage of 6’3” classical trained dancers (who can also sing) here on the Island, so Anthony (who is not only a director, but also a theatrical agent) turned to one of his clients: Harry Lyndon is a recent graduate from SLP College, Leeds who is just starting his professional career, and who, as he told me a couple of days after he arrived, was immediately made to feel part of the team.

But enough about the human stars – what about those dogs? There are two in the BECAUSE QUALITY MATTERS

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MISC

Just random things to amuse you.

IS IT A BIRD? IS IT A PLANE? AN ASTEROID? NO, IT'S A... FACTOID?

See this face? Yeah, you're right, I know...

I can't do any others.

A few purely scientific facts about Earth to prevent embarrassment whilst making polite intellectual conversation dressed up as something amusing as the rest of the page with a strange title. You've started reading now though, so you might as well finish...

The gravity between the Earth and the Moon causes the tides on Earth. This effect on the Moon means it is tidally locked to Earth – its rotation period is the same as its orbit time so it always presents the same face to Earth.

Earth is the most dense planet in the solar system. The density of Earth differs in each part of the planet – the core, for example, is denser than the Earth’s crust – but the average density of the planet is around 5.52 grams per cubic centimetre.

The rotation of the Earth is gradually slowing down. The deceleration of the Earth’s rotation is very slow, approximately 17 milliseconds per hundred years.

Eventually this will lengthen our days but it will take around 140 million years before our day will have increased from 24 to 25 hours.

A year on Earth lasts just over 365 days. It is actually 1/4 of a day over 365 days which is why we have a leap year every four years.

Earth has a very powerful magnetic field. This field protects the planet from the effects of solar winds and is believed to be a result of the nickel-iron core of the planet combined with its rapid rotation.

The highest point found on Earth is Mount Everest which reaches a height of 8.8km.

The lowest point on Earth is called Challenger Deep and at 10.9 km below sea level, it is further than the peak of Mount Everest.

Take cover!

With the end of the world apparently just around the corner every other week and a planet far, far away threatening to plunge our planet into another ice age at some point this year it'll be of absolutely no relief whatsoever to learn about the world's largest impact crater, but we're about to tell you anyway.

As Prof. Brian Cox, all-round clever cloggs and killer keyboardist (as in he's musically talented, rather than a homicidal maniac) and his chums sang in the nineties; 'things can only get better', right?

Situated in Free State, South Africa, the Vredefort Dome is a crater with an estimated radius of 118 miles (although surely we can accurately measure this in the 21st century given that Eratosthenes managed to calculate the size of Earth before Jesus had even been born) that occurred around two billion years ago. Give or take a fortnight. That's a satellite image of it above. Owing to it being the world's largest known impact structure, and we'd like to think that if there was a bigger one someone would've found it whilst idly browsing Google Earth by now, it was designated as a UNESCO World Heritage Site in 2005.

Quoted:

"German? We don't say that in America" Justin Bieber Canadians of the world rejoiced as Justin Bieber uttered an embarrassingly dumb sentence in an interview in 2010 but thankfully referred to 'America' making it far less likely that people would realise that he is in fact Canadian.

https://youtu.be/nsI4jxtTaNA Puerile, old fashioned and potentially offensive, but irresistable from a nostalgia standpoint...

"Yo' Mama so big, when she wears high heels she strikes oil!"

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THOMAS & ALEXANDRA FORFEIT’S WEDDING DAY

Photos: Robyn Ackron Location: Milntown, Glen Auldyn

Thomas and Alexandra Morfett were engaged in March 2016 in Quebec City, Canada and were married on Saturday 7th January 2017 at St Bridget’s Church, Bride with the wedding breakfast and evening reception being held at Milntown, Glen Auldyn.

The celebration started at Milntown with a champagne reception and was followed by a five course banquet accompanied by carefully selected wines chosen by the Bride’s father.

The weather was particularly mild and dry for a Manx January which proved fortuitous for the many visiting guests and a welcome relief for the locals!

Milntown was transformed with swathes of white fabric, linen table clothes, silver place mats and an abundance of flowers and lights. With the use of the private dining room, guests who wished to take a rest from the dance floor could enjoy an evening buffet, some of the delicious wedding cake and each other’s company.

The bride and groom thank everyone for making their day so memorable and special.

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THE WEDDING OF KATHERINE FREEMAN AND RICHARD WHITFIELD MARRIED ON THE 2ND JULY 2016

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Photos: Shan Fisher - www.shansphoto.com

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Location: Maughold Parish Church, followed by reception at Amisfield House

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PARENT2PARENT “DIAMOND DIVAS” COCKTAIL PARTY FUNDRAISER

A huge thanks go to the sponsors for the evening: Hartford Homes, Quinn Legal, Estera Trust, Property Wise & Lloyds Bank.

150 lovely ladies dripping in diamonds, drinking Cocktails until the early hours at The Empress Hotel, what more could you ask for? A fantastic night was had by all and every penny raised was donated to a wonderful local Charity ‘Parent2Parent’ (P2P).

P2P is a local Charity supporting parents who are struggling with teenagers suffering from Anxiety, Depression and other Mental Health related issues. Talking to like-minded parents can be extremely comforting when times get tough. P2P is run by parents who hold regular support groups or if you prefer you can talk to the support workers on a ‘one to one’ basis.

The important thing to remember is ‘You are not alone’ Contact details for P2P are: Support Line: 240999 – email: parent2parentfamilies@ gmail.com

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Location: The Empress Hotel Photos: Matt Mosur

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EVENTS

WI-MANX RUGBY EVENT – DOUGLAS VS. GLOSSOP

A good physical encounter, started with a lot of passion and heart from both sides.

Douglas’ scrum came under a bit of pressure from the Glossop forwards early doors, however a half time team-talk boosted the scrum and the out-standing backs pulled out some great rugby. The Douglas forwards excelled in the second half, which was particularly hard against the wind and DRUFC’s strong defence ensured Glossop couldn’t get over the ‘white wash’ all game.

The Douglas team showed a fast-flowing game which resulted in a comfortable win Douglas 20 – Glossop 0.

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Location: Douglas Rugby Club Photos: Pete Kwiecinski

>>> BECAUSE QUALITY MATTERS

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EVENTS

WI-MANX RUGBY EVENT – DOUGLAS VS. GLOSSOP

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CULTURE VULTURE What’s on

MARCH

Now – end of 2017

now – 30.04.17

08.03 and 22.03.2017

ART WORKSHOPS

MANX LANDSCAPES AND SEASCAPES

FILMS IN PEEL

// ISLE GALLERY, ST JOHNS//

//CENTENARY CENTRE, PEEL//

ArtReach at the Isle Gallery has released dates of their popular courses for 2017 including beginners classes in acrylics, watercolours and oil painting, ceramics, printing and much much more. There are separate workshops for teenagers and children. The classes are supported by the Isle of Man Arts Council and sponsored by Old Mutual.

//THE ISLE GALLERY, TYNWALD MILLS//

Full details, costs and booking forms can be found at:

31.03.2017

This exhibition will be followed by an as yet untitled exhibition of brand new work from JIMMY DUGGAN, who promises a selection of paintings and digital work influenced by his popular street art but scaled down to suit the gallery space. (11 March – end of April)

now – 11.03.2017

www.facebook.com/theislegallery

ISLE OF MAN PHOTOGRAPHIC SOCIETY – ANNUAL EXHIBITION

30.03.2017

This will be a wonderful evening where we all share our ideas for wearable art in a unique catwalk show. It is where fashion and art come together to entertain and inspire our audience with a fun live event. (7pm-9pm)

//HODGSON LOOM GALLERY, LAXEY//

MADAMA BUTTERFLY – LIVE SCREENIN

www.theislegallery.com

The annual display of work from the Isle of Man Photographic Society, including images that have won awards in a variety of categories through the year. www.facebook/hodgsonloomgallery

.

A group show with exhibitors including some of the Island’s favourite artists, including Nancy Corkish, Peter Hearsey, David Byrne, Coleen Corlett, Howard Shimmin, Anna Clucas, Colette Gambell showing new work drawing inspiration from our surroundings.

(Ends 4 March)

//THE STUDIO THEATRE, BALLAKERMEEN HIGH SCHOOL//

A live screening of this Puccini masterpiece from The Royal Opera House. 7pm. Sung in Italian with English sub-titles.

now – 26.3.2017

Live screening programme sponsored by the Isle of Man Arts Council.

TURNING POINT

www.villagaiety.com

//SAYLE GALLERY, DOUGLAS//

A major exhibition of work from five leading contemporary artists including Turner Prizewinner Mark Wallinger. “‘Turning Point’ is a very important exhibition, and is the sort that the Island has been starved of for far too long” – Michael Sandle, RA. www.sayle.gallery www.facebook.com/saylegallery

04.03.2017 ISLE OF MAN SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA //QUEEN ELIZABETH II HIGH SCHOOL, PEEL//

This month’s films are energy pumped ‘heist thriller- Victoria (8 March) and feel-good British thriller Eddie the Eagle (22 March).

More information and details about how and where to buy tickets on the Facebook page. www.facebook.com/filmsinpeel

MANX WEARABLE ART SHOW //KENSINGTON ARTS CENTRE, DOUGLAS//

For more information, and to find out how you can enter your own wearable art, please contact: myragilbert@ manx.net or doreendixon@manx.net

02.04.2017 ISLE OF MAN CHORAL SOCIETY and ISLE OF MAN SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA //VILLA MARINA, DOUGLAS//

This annual spring event will include Mendelssohn’s Hymn of Praise, John Rutter’s Gloria and Mascagni’s Easter Hymn from his opera Cavalleria Rusticana – in aid of the Manx Wildlife Trust.

2.30pm. Tickets £13 (Under 18s, £3) from www.villagaiety.com, the Welcome Centre and 01624 694500

The first of two concerts featuring music by Mozart, with piano soloist Graham Kirkland.

Also at Ballakermeen Studio Theatre on Sunday 5 March. Tickets (£14 adults, £2.50 students/children) from paulawadsworth@ manx.net and Celtic Gold, Shakti Man and Peter Morris Music..

Supported by Isle of Man Arts Council

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CULTURE NEWS ISLE OF MAN POST OFFICE CELEBRATES 150 YEARS OF THE FIRST GENERAL ELECTION OF THE HOUSE OF KEYS Isle of Man Post Office is pleased to present a set of stamps in celebration of the 150th anniversary of the first general election of the House of Keys.

Four panoramic stamps illustrate the most significant events and individuals that led to the transition to free election.

The first public election of the House of Keys took place during the period from 2nd to 5th April 1867 and saw 13 of the previous 24 Members elected. The reforms were major steps towards more competent and mature self-government, and political democracy becoming a reality.

The story of the reforms begins with the £2 stamp which depicts Robert Fargher, the Castletown House of Keys and ‘Mona’s Herald’ masthead. It continues with the £1.50 stamp which shows Castle Rushen Gaol, ‘Isle of Man Times’ newspaper and James Brown. The penultimate £1 stamp features Castle Rushen, the Proclamation for Dissolving the House of Keys and Henry Loch, and the final 1st Class stamp in the set depicts Douglas Court House on Election Day, Speaker of the first publicly elected House of Keys John Senhouse Goldie-Taubman, the Register of Electors and the Election Poll Book 1867.

The IOM Choral Society put on a stunning concert, and 2017 will be no different. As a community choir working with its members who are experienced musicians and singers, they felt there was an affinity with Manx Wildlife Trust whose members are key to its work and also their work with schools and local communities.

NOT JUST SHOUTING, BUT SINGING FOR WILDLIFE The Isle of Man Choral Society is pleased to announce that it has chosen Manx Wildlife Trust as its charity beneficiary.

Each year the Choral Society selects a charity to benefit from its ticket sales, and 2017’s spring event at the Villa Marina in Douglas will help our Manx wildlife for future generations.

The 2nd April 2017 at 2:30pm will see the Choral Society work with IoM Symphony Orchestra at the Villa Marina, which is the only venue that can accommodate such a show! They will perform Mendelssohn’s HYMN OF PRAISE, John Rutter’s GLORIA and Mascagni’s EASTER HYMN from his opera Cavalleria Rusticana.

PLAY A ROLE AT HEART OF MANX HERITAGE AND CULTURE Public spirited individuals are being offered the opportunity to play a leading role in preserving and promoting the Isle of Man’s rich heritage.

The Council of Ministers is currently seeking to appoint a chairperson and trustees to the Manx Museum and National Trust.

BECAUSE QUALITY MATTERS

The organisation, established more than 130 years ago, works at the very heart of Manx heritage and culture, operating 11 museum sites, two visitor centres, the iMuseum and the national library and archive.

People who feel they have the necessary attributes to take up one of these

roles should visit www.gov. im/public-appointments for information about the number of vacancies, terms of appointment and full details of the knowledge and skills required. Further information about the work of Manx National Heritage can be found at www. manxnationalheritage.im

GUILD ENTRIES ARE UP FOR ANNIVERSARY YEAR Entries are up for the Manx Music, Speech and Dance Festival, sponsored by the Dandara Group, as it prepares to celebrate its 125th anniversary.

Numbers have been boosted by interest in newer classes including the Battle of the Bands, first introduced last year, which will see 18 local rock bands compete for glory.

The Festival Executive Committee confirmed 1,470 entries were received by the 4th February deadline, setting the scene for another fabulous event during Guild week from 21st to 29th April at the Villa Marina in Douglas.

Season tickets for the Manx Music Festival will be available from the end of March at a cost of £30 for all sessions during the week with the exception of the Festival’s Finest concert, admission for which will be £8.

General admission for sessions will be £4 and free for under18s. www.manxmusicfestival.org

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'Restoration' by Bryan Moore was part of his final project for his BA (Hons) Fine Art and was exhibited in the degree show 'Essentia' in 2016.

He is now a key member of B43D team.

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W

hen Kenny Diack first approached students to be part of a new graphic novel back in April 2015 he had a clear idea of his aims – to make a mark on the graphic novel market with talent from the Island. And from just the storyline and a competition for school students, the resulting book, ‘A World Apart’ is now available online from the B43Dmedia Facebook page as well as from local outlets, and should be available from Amazon very soon.

FROM CONCEPT TO PAGE: NEW GRAPHIC NOVEL REALLY IS

‘A WORLD APART’ Words: Suzy Holland Images: Bryan Moore, Andy Noble and Alex Corlett

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“We started with an original sci-fi fantasy story from Ann-Marie McCarthy, three talented local artists – Bryan Moore, Andy Noble and Alex Corlett - and a competition to come up with concept art for the main characters,” says Kenny, “and now we have the finished book and more on the way.

It’s taken some time, but it’s working out exactly as I hoped.”

Kenny’s vision was to first provide summer internships for Island art students and then to open students’ eyes to the possibility of staying here, or coming back, to make a living from their art. Bryan Moore is the first of these success stories: he graduated from UCM with a BA (Hons) in Fine Art in June and from this month will be working for Kenny’s company B43D at their new premises in Douglas on a number of projects for B43D, including a sequel to ‘A World Apart’, a shorter stand-alone story ‘The Second Skipper’ and the possibility of graphic novel versions of some Manx myths and legends. And there’s a trip to London’s Comic-con, the leading comic and multi-genre entertainment convention, in May to promote ‘A World Apart’.

Graphic novels blend the written text with a visual language and although the book can be read on a very superficial level – just the

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“We started with an original sci-fi fantasy story from Ann-Marie McCarthy, three talented local artists – Bryan Moore, Andy Noble and Alex Corlett - and a competition to come up with concept art for the main characters” 42

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words – the clues to the action and location are all in the backgrounds.

“I trained in fine art and my paintings were very detailed and pretty big,” says Bryan. “but over the years I’ve learnt that it’s called art practice for a reason, and for the background art in ‘A World Apart’ I had to learn a different way of working. I hope it is still recognisably ‘me’ but developed to suit a different medium – a 130 page novel of up to six panels per page doesn’t lend itself to spending weeks on one painting!”

Kenny was delighted by the involvement of local high school students in the concept art for the book. “We chose twelve of the 250 entries for the competition and developed their illustrations into the final characters you see in the book, along with three others who contributed ideas which we used for other characters,” he says. “It was great to have art teachers across the Island encouraging their students to take part, and this is something I hope to take further for other publications.” Kenny also says that the involvement of local politicians and the Arts Council was key to publication: “they saw it as not only a ‘local’ project drawing interest to the Island from around the world but also as part of a much wider remit: to show the creative industries as a thriving economic sector and to promote opportunities here outside the more traditional banking, finance and e-gaming sectors.”

Of course, those involved in ‘A World Apart’ are excited and positive, so for this feature, Gallery approached a young, impartial reviewer to find out what he thought of the finished book. “I was taken by the graphic novel style,” says 14 year old Tyler from Ramsey, “the illustrations gave a good sense of the action and moved the story along.” He’s not alone in that thinking – even if this writer is not in the target market at all (too old, too world-weary) she enjoyed how it was put together and how the images and illustrations not only gave a sense of place, but also an atmosphere which could take paragraphs or even pages of text to convey in a traditional novel.

In the US sales of graphic novels hit $1.85 million in 2015, and BECAUSE QUALITY MATTERS

although there are no up to date figures for the UK, anecdotal evidence is that the market is growing this side of the Atlantic too. Kenny wants B43D to be part of that and with ‘A World Apart’ he’s latched onto a growing sub-sector: teenage girls. ‘A World Apart’ is, at heart, a love story,” he says.

“When we soft-launched the book at a pop-up store in the Strand Centre just before Christmas we were inundated with girls who bought the book and returned the following day to ask when there’d be a sequel. One of them even brought some of her own ideas and illustrations which will be developed for B43D’s next project, ‘The Second Skipper’.”

There are overlaps between graphic novels and animation and film projects, and Kenny Diack isn’t excluding any of these for the future. Will ‘A World Apart’ be the first in a new creative industries project for the Island? Kenny Diack is a driven man, with a firm vision of how the graphic novel and its artists and story tellers can provide employment here and promote the Isle of Man worldwide so I wouldn’t bet against him.

‘A World Apart’ will be officially launched at Noa Bakehouse on 16 March. B34D is indebted to SMP Partners, Wi-Manx, Sugar Lump Studios, IOM Arts Council, Words & Spaces, Christine Hoosen, DEC, and art students and teachers across the Island.

COMPETITION WINNERS The following student artists produced concept art for the main characters in ‘A World Apart’.

Leah Quayle, George Reed, Orry Quaye, Alice Main, Kyle Santanatoglia, Keever Quigley, Lilee Cosgrove, William Corkill, Sam Corlett, Erin Gilbert and one more who wanted to remain anonymous.

In addition, Freya Skillicorn, Chloe Hughes and Finn Martin also came up with ideas for other characters which are used in the book.

Thank you to everyone who took part, and enjoy finding your ideas in ‘A World Apart’.

Kenny Diack

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COMPETITION

BE PART OF #ilovethisbuilding Is there a building on the Island that means a lot to you? Is there a building you particularly like or admire? Isle of Architecture is year-long celebration of the built environment encouraging everyone to look around them and take notice of their surroundings.

Heritage and history is important, but so are new, modern, structures and they all play a huge part in all our lives.

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Now we’d like Gallery readers to take part in the #ilovethisbuilding initiative in a photography competition with a very special prize.

All you need to do is send an original photograph of any building in the Isle of Man to isleofarchitecture@gmail.com, caption it #ilovethisbuilding and say why it is special to you, and the best photograph (as decided by our judges) will win a £300 Gift Voucher for Manx National Heritage’s ‘Yn Thie Thooit’, a beautiful 4* Manx thatched holiday cottage near the sandy beach at the Lhen, in the north of the Island, and a local food hamper and a bottle of champagne to enjoy during your stay.

A select number of entries will also be published in Gallery, on the Isle of Architecture Facebook page and www. isleofarchitecture.com and then be part of the #ilovethisbuilding exhibition in Noa Bakehouse throughout July.

Your favourite building doesn’t need to have any architectural significance or be a public building, just one you love – check out our website www.isleofarchitecture.com for inspiration. The competition is open to anyone (aged 18 or over) whether you are a professional or amateur photographer, so all you need to do is get out and about with your camera or phone.

The decision of our judges Chris Thomas MHK (Chairman of Culture Vannin), Tony Pass (Chairman of Manx National Heritage), Patricia Tutt ARPS (Architect and photographer) and Steve Redford (Editor, Gallery) is final.

DEADLINE: MONDAY 8 MAY 2017 but to have a chance of your photograph appearing in the April issue of Gallery, you need to be quick and send it to isleofarchitecture@gmail.com before Wednesday 8 March. Photographs received after that date will be held over to the following month, but may still be published on social media.

Isle of Architecture is a joint initiative by Culture Vannin, Manx National Heritage and the Isle of Man Society of Architects (SofA).

£300 voucher for stay at ‘Yn Thie Thooit’ and local food hamper generously donated

by Manx National Heritage.

Bottle of Veuve Clicquot given by Revel.

BECAUSE QUALITY MATTERS

NOW READ THE SMALL PRINT:

n Only entries sent to isleofarchitecture@ gmail.com will be accepted. n Only one photograph per entrant (colour or black & white). n Must be an original photograph (minimum 1mb) of a building in the Isle of Man, captioned #ilovethisbuilding and with up to 100 words explaining why you chose it. n The competition is open to amateur and professional photographers aged 18+. n By entering this competition, photographers agree to the images being published in Gallery magazine and on Isle of Architecture social media channels and website. n Exhibition print costs (foam board only) will be covered by Isle of Architecture n A select number of images will appear in Gallery in April, May and June, and shared via the Isle of Architecture social media pages (Facebook, Twitter and Instagram) and website. n The winner will be announced in the July issue of Gallery and at the exhibition. n Entrants’ email addresses will be automatically added to Manx National Heritage’s mailing list. n Prize is non-transferrable and subject to the following conditions: Your voucher must be redeemed directly with Manx National Heritage before 31 December 2018. The booking must be made within that time, but your stay may fall beyond the expirty date. Vouchers cannot be refunded. If the value of the stay is more than the voucher value, the voucher holder will be responsible for paying the difference. Minimum night’s stay applies. Find out more at manxnationalheritage.im/visit/staywithus

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UPLOAD

THE MONTHLY UPLOAD

-

YOUR PHOTOS £50

Win ner

2 1

1 Emily Butler 2 Karen Galliver 3 Shelley Kilpatrick 4 William Galbraith 5 Pauline Guest

4

3 5

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7

8

6 Emma Haslam 7 Charlotte Tomlinson 8 Matt Cory 9 Liz Pinnell 10 Zibusiso Dube

6

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CULTURE

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UPLOAD

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11 Christopher Arrowsmith 12 Gareth Pryce-Jones 13 Alan Clague 14 Audrey Guniava 15 Bruce Parkinson

Want to win £50? All you have to do is email your entry with the subject ‘upload’ to: upload@gallery.co.im. Make the files nice and big though, 4MB is a good size to aim for. We do try to print every photo following the guide but we can’t get them ALL on the pages full-size unfortunately - they just wouldn’t fit!

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ISLE OF MAN PREMIER MAGAZINE

TRAVEL

G N I R T S E O H S A N HOLIDAYS O

ices ng st-Brexit holiday pr ne. But there’s no escapi Escape the hike in pore’s no better time to escape the rock for some sunshi was reported the average news it ley the ces creep up. In recent When its blowing a hoo nd (if are making holiday pri ich wh es ra cost of leaving the isla rat ext ge the han re’s exc the current rexit era. Then the ck.im t-B Ro pos the the ape in r Esc at yea s m thi tea more —because the holiday will cost us 9% fear no more islanders on time that is). Alas— ves lea n further this year. ne eve pla h or etc t str boa get the ke your holiday bud ma to s tip top e som have put together

Out of Season Not Out of Pocket

Ever considered heading to Dubai in the Summer? A ski resort in the Summer? Florida in Autumn? Visiting destinations out of season is a great way to grab a fantastic deal without the hefty price tag.

Dubai is one destination you should definitely go to out of season and here’s why…. visiting Dubai in the Summer has a lot of perks; whilst the temperature rises the price of flights and luxury hotels drops. Dubai is quieter in the summer months compared to its peak season between November and March, however it is well-adapted for the hot weather, with air-conditioned hotels, shopping malls, museums, restaurants, public transport and cooled swimming pools.

If you are looking for a thrill-seeking holiday destination with pleasant temperatures and smaller crowds without the price tag then Florida out of season is the perfect spot. Think of Florida as two halves: the North which includes Orlando, Tampa, Daytona and Jackonsville has its quieter season between mid-September and mid-November. The subtropical South Florida which encompasses Palm Beach, Fort Lauderdale, Miami and The Keys has its off-peak season between June-August. Of course the theme parks are open all year round and you’re less likely to queue for rides and attractions at the end of August when the American kids are back in school.

Wherever you choose its worth checking the hotels special offers too which are designed to attract the out of season traveller. Savvy offers can be anything from book 5 nights get 2 free, a free nights’ stay, book bed and breakfast and get upgraded to half board, or complimentary room upgrades.

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Explore the Road Less Travelled

We’re not all geography buffs so it’s hard to know what resorts are out there but doing a little research into the quieter resorts or up and coming destinations can give you better value for money. Try Santa Ursula in Tenerife, East coast Barbados instead of West, Queens and Brooklyn instead of Manhattan, El Cotillo in Fuerteventura, Clearwater or St Augustine in Florida, Riviera Nayarit in Mexico, Milos in Greece, Margaret River in Western Australia and Essaouria in Morocco. Better hurry though as it won’t be long before these lesser known destinations become commonplace.

The Early Bird catches the Metal Bird It’s an obvious point but avoid travelling during the school holidays if you want to avoid a price hike.

For DIY holidays its best to book early to get the cheapest flights – get the flight release dates and find the schedule online to secure your spot. For packaged holidays there are lots of last minute bargains out there, but make sure you can still get off-island before you book.

BECAUSE QUALITY MATTERS

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Experiment with Airlines and Airports

Being flexible when booking your departure and destination airport can help reduce your flight cost. For example there are flights from the Isle of Man to Blackpool, Belfast, Newcastle, Gloucester (Citywings), Bristol, London Luton (Easyjet), Birmingham, Aberdeen, Edinburgh, Exeter, Norwich and Southampton (FlyBe). From there you can grab cheaper onward flights to your next destination depending on the time of year.

If you don’t mind travelling a bit further from an airport onto a resort then try a lesser known destination airport to save costs. For example, Tampa and Orlando International airports in Florida are only 1 hour and 30 hours’ drive from one another. Reus airport in Barcelona is 1 hour and 15 minutes away on the train, LaGuardia Airport or Newark in New York instead of JFK, Rotterdam The Hague Airport instead of Amsterdam Schiphol, Tenerife North instead of South, Milan Linate instead of Malpensa – if one airport is expensive then explore the other.

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Manage the Coffers

Take advantage of low deposit schemes to help spread the cost of your holiday. For example escapetherock.im offers a £50 per person low deposit and you can pay your balance up to 4 weeks’ before departure. Paying on debit card instead of credit card means lower fees, if any at all. Signing up for email offers can also give you money-off vouchers and flash sales. You can also get special offers with loyalty schemes such as Hilton HHonours, Marriott Rewards, Best Western Rewards, Intercontinental Rewards all of which are free to join. And don’t forget the allure of All-Inclusive where you can forget about exchange rates and relax knowing it’s all paid for (including the kids’ insatiable appetite for ice cream and snacks) before you even board the plane.

Do you have any holiday tricks? Email marketing@ escapetherock.co.uk with your ideas and get yourself featured on our blog and Facebook page.

Don’t be afraid to try lesser known airlines too for some bargain deals for example Norwegian Airlines, Aegean Airways, Finnair, TAP Portugal, Vueling and AirEuropa. Lastly if you’re not pressed for time when travelling then try booking a flight that has a connection in between journey legs as this can also work out much cheaper than direct flights.

ISLE OF MAN PREMIER MAGAZINE

INVESTMENT BUSINESS T E C H N O LO G Y

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I N V E S T M E N T / W E A LT H -

SOCIAL NETWORK GROUP FOR THE WORLDS W E A LT H I E S T H I T S T H E U K

BUSINESS -

TECHNOLOGY -

FUTURE - PROOFING

E M B R A C E T H E D I G I TA L H I G H WAY

in the news

Double silver win for Equiom at Citywealth’s Powerwomen Awards

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eading trust and corporate services provider Equiom has been named silver winner of ‘Company of the Year’ in the Female Leadership (Large, Institutional) category at the Powerwomen Awards.

Sheila Dean then went on to pick up the silver award for ‘Woman of the Year’ in the Business Growth category, a first for the

Global CEO. The win comes just weeks after the company’s success at the Citywealth IFC Awards, where Equiom was named Trust Company of the Year in three of its jurisdictions.

Representing Equiom at the wellattended event were Sheila Dean, Global CEO, Nicola Gott, Managing Director of

Equiom Jersey, Nina Johnston, Director of Client Services for Equiom Isle of Man, Caroline Ashley, Senior Manager of Corporate Communications and Alice Dumoitier, Director of Client Services for Equiom Jersey. Equiom’s table also hosted guests from Gowling WLG, Collas Crill and Deloitte.

Clive Dixon named in Citywealth Magazine’s Honours List 2016

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live Dixon, a partner at Moore Stephens Isle of Man, has been listed in the prestigious wealth management network, Citywealth Honours List, as a leading accountant, and was the only Isle of Man accountant listed.

For over a decade, Citywealth has been compiling a list of individuals considered the crème de la crème of the wealth industry in a directory listing leading figures in the private wealth management and private client industry.

To be listed, an individual must weather a year-long programme of peer recommendation and verification by Citywealth. Inclusion in the Citywealth list is an independent endorsement of their position and means their expertise is recognised and highly recommended within the sector.

“It is unquestionably a great honour to be included in the UK & Crown Dependencies Honours List,” said Clive. “A select group of which I’m very pleased to be considered worthy of being a part, particularly as I count some as friends.”

The Citywealth Leaders List is used by more than 3,000 leading advisers and managers in the private wealth sector.

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Clive moved from Bermuda to the Isle of Man over 27 years ago, to join Moore Stephens, then a firm of two. Moore Stephen Isle of Man is now multi-disciplined, ISO 9001 accredited, offering a wide variety of assurance, compliance, specialised insurance intermediation and wealth management services.

Clive added, “This of course is also a tribute to those individuals who have joined us over those years and shared in our main goals - to provide true excellence in service, to diversify and grow the firm and to maintain an aspirational, open and free environment in which all staff can flourish. I am very proud to be able to share this with them.”

Moore Stephens Isle of Man champions its team as confirmed by its Investor in People accreditation. The firm is a full training office with the Institute of Chartered Accountants in England and Wales and a Platinum accredited training office with the Chartered Institute of Certified Accountants. It is also involved with universities and training organisations with the view to partnering with each and every team member in the fulfillment of their aspirations.

ON THE AGENDA

Sure increases speeds with 4G+

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ure has begun the roll out of its 4G+ network to provide mobile customers with increased speed and reliability.

The upgrade will result in faster download and upload speeds and more available bandwidth on Sure’s 4G network. Multiple 4G+ (also known as LTE advanced) mobile sites are now live and the roll out will continue throughout 2017. Average speeds that customers are achieving on their devices will continue to

improve from the current average of over 35 Mb/s. The top speed achieved in test conditions is an incredibly fast 219 Mb/s.

Sure’s chief executive in the Isle of Man, Mike Phillips, said: “Around a third of the network now offers the increased speeds from 4G+ and we hope to have more than 60% of our mobile network upgraded by the end of the year.

“We are always looking at ways to improve our network and are constantly investing in new technology to enhance the services we offer our customers. This update is designed to improve our network breadth and depth and give our customers a mobile experience that is amongst the best in the world.”

A study released at the end of 2016 by the National Infrastructure Commission (NIC) in revealed that the UK ranks 56th in the world for 4G availability, below countries such as Hungary, Peru and Mexico.

Mr Phillips said that Sure’s network compares favourably to the UK and most other countries on the list: “We have around 99% outdoor 4G coverage in the Isle of Man which is good news for individuals, businesses and the island as a whole. The government’s strategy recognises the importance of digital innovation to the island’s future and Sure’s resilient, reliable and strong network contributes to that.”

ING & ED BANK OUNT N I B M O C ENT ACC INVESTM TS UR ASSE O Y L L A FOR REPORT CT F CONTA POINT O RM TION FO CIES APPLICA CURREN R U O Y LL RAVEL T FOR A IONAL T T A N ACCOUN R E R INT TION FO U L O S G BANKIN

FOCUS, THE ALL IN ONE ACCOUNT The complete solution from an award-winning international private bank. To find out more, visit www.nedbankprivatewealth.com.

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Best International Wealth Management Provider (UK)

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The value of investments and the income from them can fall as well as rise and you may not get back the original amount invested. Exchange rate changes may affect the value of investments. Nedbank Private Wealth is a registered trade name of Nedbank Private Wealth Limited. The parent of Nedbank Private Wealth Limited is Nedbank Group Limited, which is incorporated in South Africa and is regulated by the South African Reserve Bank. The ultimate parent of Nedbank Private Wealth Limited is Old Mutual plc, which is incorporated in England and Wales. The latest audited report and accounts, and details of the credit rating are available at www.nedbankprivatewealth.com.

Nedbank Private Wealth Limited is licensed by the Isle of Man Financial Services Authority and is a participant in the Isle of Man Depositors’ Compensation Scheme as set out in the Compensation of Depositors Regulations 2010.

For full details, please see www.iomfsa.im. Registered office: St Mary’s Court 20 Hill Street Douglas Isle of Man. The Jersey branch is regulated by the Jersey Financial Services Commission and is a participant in the Jersey Banking Depositor Compensation Scheme. See www.gov.je/dcs for full details of the Scheme and banking groups covered. The London branch is authorised by the Prudential Regulation Authority and regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority and the Prudential Regulation Authority. Registration No: 313189. Your eligible deposits with Nedbank Private Wealth Limited, London branch, are protected up to a total of £75,000 by the Financial Services Compensation Scheme, the UK’s deposit guarantee scheme. Any deposits you hold above the £75,000 limit are unlikely to be covered. Please ask for further information or visit www.fscs.org.uk. The UAE representative office in Dubai is licensed by the Central Bank of UAE. Licence No: 13/191/2013. Representation in South Africa is through Nedbank Limited. Registered in South Africa with Registration No 1951/000009/06, an authorised financial services and registered credit provider (NCRCP16).

movers & shakers

Equiom announces numerous staff promotions

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eading trust and corporate services provider Equiom has announced the promotion of seven individuals in its risk, client services and tax departments.

The promotions come as part of the firm’s ongoing staff development strategy.

In the Tax department, Derek McNutt has been promoted to Senior Manager and Jess Hawkins is now Senior Manager in the Group Risk Management department.

Both Derek and Jess have over a decade of experience in their respective fields.

Derek provides advice on complex offshore structures to clients while Jess specialises in risk management and is currently involved in helping to expand the risk

management team for the group.

In the Client Services department, Adam Beighton, Lisa Osland and Ian Mudie have all been promoted to Senior Manager Lisa and Adam provide crossjurisdictional support to clients in the areas of yachting and aviation and eBusiness, respectively. Ian is a qualified Chartered Accountant and specialises in providing fiduciary services to clients.

In the Client Accounting department, Adam Fretwell and Jupe Bunpokkrong have been promoted to Managers. Both Adam and Jupe are qualified Chartered Accountants with several years of experience. Adam specialises in accounting for yachting and aviation structures and Jupe provides higher level technical knowledge across the client base.

Three of the seven promoted (left to right), Jupe Bunpokkrong, Derek McNutt and Jess Hawkins.

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ON THE AGENDA

APPLEBY LAWYER APPOINTED ISLE OF MAN ASSOCIATION CHAIRMAN

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lawyer from leading offshore legal firm Appleby has been appointed Chairman of the Isle of Man Wealth and Fund Services Association.

Andrew Harding, who joined Appleby in 2005, is Counsel in the Corporate Department in Appleby’s Isle of Man office and specialises in insolvency and restructuring of investment funds.

The Isle of Man Wealth and Fund Services Association was established in 1987 to act as a link between the government, regulators and funds specialists to support the industry in the Island.

As Chairman of the Association Andrew will represent the Isle of Man’s wealth and funds administration industry and liaise with government on financial service initiatives.

Andrew said: “I am honoured to be appointed Chairman of the Isle of Man Wealth and Funds Services Association and look forward to continue promoting the Isle of Man as a stable and well-regulated financial centre.

“We have a really diverse membership of more than 50 representatives from the sector, including fund managers, corporate service providers, stockbrokers and lawyers; I’m eager to work alongside our peers to see the industry flourish.

“My experience working in an international law firm like Appleby will be invaluable during my chairmanship of the Association.”

Australian Joel Taylor Joins Corporate Team at Cains

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ustralian barrister Joel Taylor is joining the expanding corporate team at leading Isle of Man law firm Cains and bringing with him over 15 years of offshore legal experience.

“Cains has always impressed me by looking for growth opportunities and the fact that all its decisions are made in the Isle of Man and not elsewhere which can often involve global politics,” said Joel.

Previously a consultant for four years with Appleby in both London and the Channel Islands, including secondment to the Isle of Man in the summer of 2013, he added: “I regard Cains as a highly professional and innovative Isle of Man law firm. It has a low turnover in staff and emphasises achieving a good work/life balance.

“The Isle of Man itself was also an attractive option; it is a jurisdiction of real substance which differentiates it from some other jurisdictions; I love its space and ruggedness, it is beautiful and I’m impressed with the people who are genuine and down to earth.”

MOVERS & SHAKERS

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wealth & investment

The most valuable asset for an investor?

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Time agenda

ON THE AGENDA

Words by: Paul Warburton Head of investments at discretionary fund manager Creechurch Capital

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hatcher, inflation, credit crunch, QE, Brexit, Trump. We know you don’t have time to re-live the past 40 years of geopolitical shocks and economic disasters that bring us to the current date. If history teaches us anything, it’s that investors shouldn’t fear the markets, even if they fear the protagonists of the political landscape.

With careful consideration, and in the knowledge that time is an investor’s friend, investors can position their portfolios (conservative, balanced or growth) to make the most of the time they have available to achieve their objectives.

On the horizon The theory of time horizon in investment is the longer the time-horizon of the investor, the greater their ability to withstand the fluctuations in the values of their investments.

If you are relatively young then the time you have to invest is, in theory, longer, and your risk tolerance is higher. However, for individuals approaching retirement, an approach which relies on higher risk assets such as equities to deliver their retirement expectations is fraught with danger.

For example, if in 2007 you were relying on UK equities to see you into retirement, then from 2008 and beyond, your heart was about to be broken, with the UK FTSE 100 index down around 30% on the year.

The hunt for income Generally, as an investors time horizon narrows, there should be a shift in emphasis from growth assets (such as equities) to income producing assets (such as cash and bonds). However, this assumes normal market conditions, and a low interest rate environment for many years has meant investors have sought new ways to generate income. Trying to find a good income-

producing asset is difficult for those with little appetite for risk. With retirees and their pension schemes rushing for low risk, income-producing assets yields have been driven to all-time lows and prices to all-time highs. In retirement if you were hoping to live off cash deposit interest then your cash pot would need to be considerable to generate even a moderate amount of income.

This dilemma has driven many to take on additional risk and look beyond cash and Government bonds, and equities have been one of the principal beneficiaries.

Many now view dividends as their main source of income despite the additional risk and volatility that investing in this asset class brings. The demand for equities has seen the FTSE 100 index consistently rise to new highs in recent weeks. While this has been great for equity investors, those with less risk appetite have been left feeling neglected. Many investors in equities have sought “bond proxies”; namely those shares which are low growth but have a great track record of paying good dividends over a sustained period of time. While this may tick the box in terms of income there is a significant risk trade-off. The ideal scenario is to find those shares which give a return in real terms (after inflation) and yet still present decent opportunities for capital growth over the long term.

Our philosophy for generating income and minimising risk, in what is a challenging environment, is to provide our clients with an actively managed blend of assets with varying income characteristics.

This ensures we are well positioned and nimble as we seek to optimise our clients’ return levels as market conditions vary. If you would like to discuss how we may be able to assist you in your search for income, please feel free contact us on the details below.

Creechurch Capital, Knox House, 16-18 Finch Road, Douglas, Isle of Man, IM1 2PT. T: 01624 653808 E: paul.warburton@creechurchcapital.com www.creechurchcapital.com

WEALTH & INVESTMENT

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wealth & investment

When is enough, enough?

High net worth seems to produce low net self-worth and greater vulnerability to mental illness Words By: Oliver James (FT)

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hat is the point of being a “high net worth” person — of being seriously rich? As wealth increases, its benefits seem to diminish, or at times, lead to major problems.

It is easy to see the benefits of having enough money to afford a nice house or two, private education and healthcare, the best food, expensive cars; not having to worry about what you spend. But you do not need dozens or hundreds of millions for these. Let us say £20m in capital and property combined, and an income of about half a million, should do the trick.

A simple game illustrates why it is pointless to want more than that, unless you have an unusual reason to do so (like a passion for a particular benevolent cause or a burning desire to fly to the moon).

Suppose you have the UK’s national average wage, nearly £28,000. Now I am going to double that, for no additional work hours or change in role. For a short time you feel good, sure. But only six months later, you are already moving the goalposts, spending more and expanding your consumption horizons to fit £56,000.

Six months later we repeat the exercise — double the money again. With £112,000 to play with, you feel a rush of excitement.

But again, how long before that wears off and the newly moved goalposts of aspiration eat it up?

Six months later we double it again, and so on. At what point does the doubling begin to become meaningless; £57,344,000, £114,688,000, £229,376,000, or more than that? There are only so many boats, planes or houses one can buy.

All sorts of new problems will have arisen as you accelerate up through the millions.

“I have known 50 people well who inherited enough money never to need to work. I can think of only one who was not severely handicapped by their wealth”

I have seen my rich friends fuss at expensive restaurants if the cutlery is not spotless, the £500 bottle of wine not quite right. I have looked on as they waited years for their dream houses to be completed.

But worst of all, I have seen the effects of inherited wealth.

The impact on offspring is usually dire.

I have known well about 50 people who inherited enough money never to need to work. I can think of only one — incidentally, a therapist — who was not severely handicapped by their wealth.

Most of the rest never achieved anything in their careers, insofar as they attempted one. A few became ferocious workaholics, seeking to outdo their forebears, living miserable and frenzied lives. Worst of all, nearly all of them suffered a variety of depression, anxiety and substance abuse, living sad and emotionally unhealthy lives.

I am not remotely suggesting that absolute poverty is the route to wisdom and emotional health, although it is true that many poor countries have far lower prevalence of mental illness than rich ones.

For example, only 4 per cent of Nigerians have suffered a mental illness in the past 12 months, compared with 26 per cent of Americans — invariably the most mentally ill country in all surveys, despite being one of the richest.

The problem is relative, not absolute, deprivation: the more we have, the greater our tendency to keep up with the Joneses; to engage in malignant social comparisons and conspicuous consumption.

Huge wealth seems to drain life of meaning for its owners and their offspring.

That this capital could be serving the wider community is a secondary, political issue. My point is, high net worth seems to produce low net self-worth and greater vulnerability to mental illness.

Oliver James is a chartered psychologist and psychotherapist and author of ‘Affluenza: How to be Successful and Stay Sane’.

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ON THE AGENDA

COMMUNIT Y IS

W E F U L LY A P P R E C I AT E O U R I S L E O F M A N H O M E T H AT N U R T U R E S A N D S U S TA I N S O U R D E D I C AT E D B U S I N E S S .

T H AT ’ S W H Y W E ’ R E T O TA L LY COMMIT TED TO OUR COMMUNIT Y AND M A K I N G A W E A LT H O F D I F F E R E N C E I N E V E R Y W AY W E C A N .

To find out more about Utmost Wealth Solutions please visit www.utmostwealth.com

C A P I T A L

There’s nothing more precious than looking back at the good times.

Would you give your younger self advice on things you wish you’d done differently?

You can’t turn back the clock but you can always take guidance for your future.

Creechurch Capital is a discretionary fund manager that provides a range of investment solutions to help look after the future so clients can cherish the now.

Time; the most valuable asset.

CONTACT US

Tel: +44 (0)1624 653800 Email: info@creechurchcapital.com www.creechurchcapital.com Knox House, 16-18 Finch Road, Douglas IM1 2PT. Creechurch Capital Limited is licensed by the Isle of Man Financial Services Authority and registered in the Isle of Man, number 5267V. VAT Registration No. 003 2910 30. Registered Address: Knox House , 16-18 Finch Road, Douglas, Isle of Man, IM1 2PT.

wealth & investment

Social networking group for the world’s wealthiest hits the UK Even the richest have money worries — and Tiger 21 wants them to talk about it Words: Hugo GreenHalgh (FT)

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orbes magazine called it the “wealthiest, most powerful social networking group in the world”.

Others have called it a “top secret club for millionaires”. And now, the UK’s wealthiest will have the chance to join Tiger 21, rubbing shoulders with 450 of the world’s richest people.

Launched in New York in 1999, membership fees start at $30,000 for those with a minimum of $10m of investable assets, allowing access to a network of peers that ranges from chief executives and entrepreneurs to government officials.

The collective net worth of the group is estimated at more than $40bn.

“We call it a peer-to-peer learning

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organisation for CEOs,” said Michael Sonnenfeldt, founder and owner of Tiger 21.

“It’s a sort of graduate school for the finer colleges.”

Tiger 21 — which stands for The Investment Group for Enhanced Results in the 21st Century — organises monthly meetings and social events, with members sharing details of their financial operations, as well as seeking advice on issues ranging from the personal to the professional.

In the US, members have previously travelled to Necker Island, Sir Richard Branson’s private Caribbean island, for a “group meeting experience”.

Common topics of conversation include succession planning, how not to ruin the children by giving them too much money, and wealth preservation, said Mr Sonnenfeldt.

But will the British — who traditionally refrain from talking about money — want to join? “Wealth can be incredibly isolating,” Mr Sonnenfeldt said. “You cannot discuss

the challenges or benefits that wealth creates — whether that is to fly private or buy a piece of jewellery. Within Tiger 21, you can explore these issues in a discrete, confidential way.”

Richard Ross, philanthropist and chairman of the Rosetrees Trust, which funds medical research, said he was intrigued, but questioned whether this was “a new way of presenting an old story”.

“What [it] is offering, every wealthy person is looking for — a source of advice that is visionary, entrepreneurial, from the best minds in the world, to preserve wealth, manage family-related challenges, provide estate planning options, assist philanthropy and ensure a legacy impact.

“If I had known about them 50 years ago I might have saved a lifetime of hard work, with many mistakes before I got more right than wrong.”

ON THE AGENDA

Thoroughly committed come rain or shine*

* Or hail, sleet, drizzle, fog, sea mist...

For 25 years we’ve been proud to call the Isle of Man our home.

So although there may be a boat in the morning (weather permitting), you can rest assured we won’t be on it.

Find out more at www.rl360.com/thoroughlymanx

RL360 Insurance Company Limited. Registered Office: RL360 House, Cooil Road, Douglas, Isle of Man IM2 2SP, British Isles. RL360 Insurance Company Limited is authorised by the Isle of Man Financial Services Authority. Registered in the Isle of Man number 053002C.

business events

IT WORKS CELEBRATE 15 YEARS IN BUSINESS

On Friday 3rd February, IT Works celebrated its 15th birthday at The British Hotel. On one of the stormiest nights of the year, friends, customers and employees gathered by a roaring fire in the Embassy Room to enjoy food and drink, and share memories. Amongst the guest were IT Works first customer, Brew & Corkill – who have since become a key business partner of the Company, working side by side on some of the largest structured cabling projects on the Island – and in memory of which were presented with a voucher for the amount of that initial invoice.

Founder and managing director, Ryan Cleator, thanked all his customers for their valued support throughout the years. He also heartily thanked the employees for ‘making IT Works what it was’. ‘There are now fifteen of us,’ he noted, ‘which is a fantastic milestone to reach as we celebrate fifteen years in business.’

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ON THE AGENDA

Location: Embassy Rooms at The British Hotel Photos: Pete Kwiecinski

www.itworks.co.im IN-BUSINESS / EVENTS

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earth-feature

Future Proofing

Businesses need to take sustainability seriously, for the sake of the Earth as well as themselves Words By: Wendy Shimmin

ON THE AGENDA

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arth seems an awfully big and robust place when you are on it, especially if you live on a small island within a relatively wealthy economy.

Accustomed as we are to a high standard of living, we expect every day to find food and clothes in our shops, water and electricity flowing into our homes and workplaces, and fuel on tap for our heat and transportation. Moreover we expect these things pretty much on demand despite cultivating few of them from our own natural resources.

Our location in the western world, in the midst of other much bigger countries, living in much the same way makes this all seem the norm. It’s only if the boat doesn’t sail or there’s some other supply problem, with an ensuing lack of fresh fruit and veg and toilet rolls, that we even start to consider the resilience of our modern way of life.

But the amazing economic growth kickstarted 250 years ago by the industrial revolution, bringing levels of comfort and wealth that could only have been dreamed of in earlier ages, has come at a price – the negative impact on the planet on which we rely.

For all the good things industrialisation has brought – cheaper, more efficient production, huge medical advances, wider prosperity – its reliance on fossil fuel and intensive agriculture has had far-reaching consequences for our environment and the ability of earth to continue to sustain us. Add to this the enormous explosion in human population over this short timeframe – from some 300-500 million people in the early 1700s to upwards of 7 billion today – and suddenly our world doesn’t seem quite so big.

In fact, by some calculations, it’s claimed that if everyone on earth lived at the same levels of consumption as the population of Kuwait, the US or UAE, we would need 4 or 5 planets to provide enough resources and absorb our carbon emissions. The same calculations suggest we already actually need 1.5 planets – the extra half to absorb the carbon emissions our single planet is not currently coping with.

Clearly this trajectory is unsustainable – there are, after all, no other Earths to use – and the need for sustainable development, characterised as ‘meeting the needs of today without compromising the needs of future generations’, is now widely acknowledged.

Donald Trump notwithstanding, Governments around the world have agreed that measures must be

IN-BUSINESS/FUTURE-PROOFING

implemented to limit the negative impact of human development on our planet and in particular significantly reduce carbon emissions by 2050. The Isle of Man is among these, along with G8 nations and other developed economies.

2050 may seem a long way off still but, in order to hit the goal, things will need to start to change sooner and businesses need to be planning now how this will affect them.

For the upshot is that to reach those targets the Isle of Man will need to be at pretty much zero carbon emissions for its electricity production, buildings, land use and transport by the half-century. This will require a massive shift from where we are now and it’s likely there will need to be a carrot and stick approach to public policy to achieve it.

Businesses need to think through how this transition to a low carbon economy will impact them – in terms of the product or service they provide, its future relevance and cost, its supply and distribution. What effect will these changes have on processes, people and premises? What innovation will be needed, how will customer demand change and what are the risks to brand and reputation of not taking action?

Some factors, such as potential tax incentives or levies are not yet fully apparent but other trends are becoming clearer. Investors, for example, are becoming increasingly environmentally conscious – not because they are necessarily ardent “greens” but simply because they can see the economic sense in the efficiencies companies will need to make and the rising costs of resources. Similarly shareholders and other stakeholders now more often see the reputational value of evidencing environmental policy or activity in the annual report.

Of course many businesses already have some kind of environmental or sustainable policy so they have already made a first step. But for those who haven’t, they need to start looking beyond recycling their paper and turning the lights off. A more systematic root and branch review will be required.

The good news is that where there is change there is opportunity – innovation and new technologies will undoubtedly have a big role to play. And of course those companies that can look ahead and adapt to supporting more sustainable practices will by that very virtue become more sustainable themselves. It won’t necessarily be easy but it will be necessary, for all of us who call this earth home. agenda

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technology

Embrace the digital pile-up ‘When you’re trying to find an email needle in your archive haystack, search works at least as well’ Words: Tim Hartford (FT)

O

ne of my resolutions this year was to get more done. I seem to make the same vow every year and I suspect that many discerning readers have a similar perennial yearning. But thanks to the research I did for my latest book, Messy, and a fascinating new book from Ofer Bergman and Steve Whittaker, I now feel I have a better sense of why some tactics work and others fail.

Their book, The Science of Managing Our Digital Stuff, is an academic tome addressing a deeply practical pair of questions: how do we all cope with the ever-increasing influx of emails, documents, photographs and bookmarks? And how can we do better?

Two strategies suggest themselves: organise and label everything meticulously (the “filer” approach), or organise nothing at all and search when you need something. We could call this latter tactic the “search everything” approach — or “hoarding”.

Both strategies can work in certain circumstances but both also turn out to have serious weaknesses. Filers struggle because getting so carefully organised takes too much time, and filer strategies often break down as users become busier and busier. But, more importantly, filers often suffer from “premature filing”, as they try to categorise incoming messages they don’t yet have the context to understand fully.

Folder structures that make sense at the time are often incomprehensible later. And far too much low-value stuff is filed when it should have been deleted, becoming digital chaff that obscures the target.

Meanwhile, hoarders risk drowning in a sea of email: it’s impossible to make sense of an inbox with 14,284 emails. Yes, one can use email search — in 2011 Whittaker and four colleagues showed that when you’re trying to find an email needle in your archive haystack, search works at least as well as navigating through a folder structure. But Bergman has shown why we tend to resist searching: it feels like hard work. It’s more cognitively taxing than clicking through folder trees, a process that uses visual memory without much effort. We like folders because they feel natural in a way that search does not. And most important: search only works if you remember what you’re searching for.

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technology

When coping with paper documents, there’s a handy intermediate strategy between filing and hoarding: “piling”. Pilers let documents accumulate on their desk, sometimes informally grouped by topic or project. The piles are self-organising because recently handled documents end up going back on top.

Whittaker and Julia Hirschberg have shown that pilers tend to keep smaller archives. The stuff in their piles is well used, unlike the redundant folders of the tidy filers. Piling looks messy but it works.

But email poses a particular challenge — is there a strategy that imitates the informal accessibility of the desktop piles, yet works in a fast-moving inbox? I think there is.

Here are the principles of “email piling”.

First, email piling should be simple — crude enough that it’s quick and misfiling is almost impossible. Second, it should be organised around taking action. Ultimately, you’re not building a library, you’re keeping track of stuff that you need to do. Therefore, third: it should be visible. Your piles are reminders to take action, so they shouldn’t be hidden away.

So: crude, visible and built around taking action. The corollary of all this is that if you have an email that doesn’t require your action, you can archive it, safe in the knowledge that the search box will produce it again if needed.

As a result, your email pile will be a jumble but a small one — just like the paper piles that Whittaker and Hirschberg studied.

That’s the theory, then. And in practice? I use Gmail’s “multiple inbox” function to sort my emails into three categories: yellow star for stuff to do, blue star for stuff to read and red star for stuff that’s waiting for someone else. (Assigning the star requires just a click or two.) Unlike normal folders, all three of these categories are in plain sight whenever I open Gmail itself: three simultaneous colour-coded inboxes.

I find this digital piling works remarkably well, at least for me. Most emails don’t fit in any of the categories — a sign that it should be replied to and/or archived immediately.

The “to do” inbox is small enough that I don’t feel anxious that things will be lost. And, as an added benefit, if I check email on my phone and see that it requires a proper reply from a proper keyboard, I can dump it in my “to do” inbox and it vanishes from the phone to reappear on the computer, where it can be properly handled. When the email disappears, so does the compulsive anxiety to tap out a response with one thumb.

I have a few other folders but only for very well-defined bits of information I know I need to keep.

This isn’t a system that tries to organise emails once and for all, or tidy them away out of sight. The aim is to manage them as they come through. Rudimentary and unsophisticated might not be the ideal approach to life in general. It works very well for email.

Tim Harford’s new book is ‘Messy: How to Be Creative and Resilient in a Tidy-Minded World’

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Isle of Man | Home & Interiors | March 2017

The best place to find a new place in the Isle of Man

HOME

Belfry House

Brookfield Avenue, Ramsey

£499,000

6 Bedroom | 4 Bathroom | 5 Reception

KEY FEATURES

n Semi detached period town house n Central and convenient location n 5 Recption rooms n 6 Bedrooms (1 ensuite) n 3 Bathrooms n Off road parking n Private and enclosed gardens n Many original features n Double garage n Spacious accommodation

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Situated in the heart of Ramsey town, Belfry house is a unique and spacious family home providing 6 good sized bedrooms, 4 bathrooms and 5 reception rooms split over 3 floors. Spacious yet private gardens and driveway are provide to the side and rear with the benefit of a double garage accessed from a service lane of Brookfield avenue. The property is presented in good decorative order throughout with many original features being complemented by modern fixtures and fittings. A beautiful period town house.

T: 01624 667788 w:Â garforthgray.im

BECAUSE QUALITY MATTERS

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HOME

This spacious five bedroom detached family home is situated in the popular Ballakilley development in Port Erin, and within walking distance of the local primary school and town centre.

The property benefits from a large formal living room with glazed double doors leading through to a separate dining room.

The large open-plan kitchen-breakfast is perfect for today’s modern lifestyles, and there is also a sunroom with bifold doors which provide direct access to the rear garden.

The spacious master bedroom includes fully fitted wardrobes and benefits from a full ensuite bathroom. The second bedroom also includes fitted wardrobes and has an ensuite shower room. There are three further bedrooms – two with fitted wardrobes - and a stylish contemporary family bathroom, which includes a heated towel rail and concealed storage.

3 Ballakilley Lane, Ballakilley, Port Erin.

£544,950

KEY FEATURES:

n Stylish fully fitted contemporary kitchen by top German manufacturer, with stainless steel extractor hood, ceramic hob, oven, fridge freezer, dishwasher and microwave n Luxury family bathroom and two ensuites n Floor coverings included throughout n Quality fitted wardrobes in four bedrooms n Energy efficient central heating and hot water systems n High quality double glazing n 10 year NHBC warranty

VIEWING HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

CALL: 615000 22 - 24 Victoria Street, Douglas E: isleofman@dandara.com W: dandara.com

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HOME

27 Broogh Wyllin Kirk Michael

ÂŁ229,950 4 Bed | 2 Bath | 1 Reception

KEY FEATURES

n Modern extended semi detached house n Sitting room n Open plan dining/kitchen n Separate utility & WC n Integral Garage n 4 Bedrooms (1 ensuite) n Family Bathroom n Larger corner plot n Off road parking n Convenient location A modern 4 bed semi detached house presented in superb order throughout situated in a popular development conveniently located in the heart of Kirk Michael. The accommodation in brief comprises of sitting room, open plan dining/kitchen, separate utility, separate WC and integral garage to the ground floor with 4 bedrooms (1 ensuite and dressing area) and family bathroom to the first floor. The property is set on one of the largest corner plots within this popular development and benefits from of road parking adjacent the integral garage.

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T: 01624 667788 w:Â garforthgray.im

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HOW-TO TIP Drill Bit

5 TIPS FOR SMALL ROOMS

If you’re drilling into tiles, you’ll need a special tile specific drill bit - it looks like a spear and is available from tile and DIY shops. Put a piece of masking tape over where you want to drill to stop the bit from slipping.

1

. In small bedrooms, storage is all-important. Fitted wardrobes provide floor-to-ceiling storage and are most useful if built in what might otherwise be wasted space, such as the alcoves next to a chimney breast. Fitted wardrobes aren’t expensive if you make them out of MDF (or get a carpenter to), and can be customised for your storage needs.

A bed with built-in storage may also be a good investment.

Paint Rollers

3

2

. To make a small bathroom work well, think about rejigging the layout - would there be more space with a corner toilet, shower cubicle or basin, for example? Also consider the depth of the toilet - some are a lot shorter than others, giving you more useable floor space. If you don’t use the bath, could you save space by replacing it with a shower cubicle? This may put off some buyers when you come to sell, but may be worth it if it improves the bathroom for you. If you want to keep the bath, there may be a better bath for the room, such as a shorter, narrower or tapered one.

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. Fitting everything in a small kitchen can be a challenge. Consider moving the washing machine to the bathroom or under-stairs cupboard, for example, and fitting smaller appliances, such as a twoburner hob. Clever kitchen designs make more of limited space - try a pullout worktop and wall-hung table that folds down. Tall wall units, if the ceiling’s high enough, give you more storage by using otherwise wasted space.

4

. A small boiler will free up space. Dated properties often have a big, floor-standing boiler with a hot-water cylinder, plus tanks in the loft. In smaller properties, this takes up valuable space and is unnecessary because a combi boiler (no cylinder or tank needed) will usually suffice (ask a heating engineer if in doubt), some combis are especially compact.

5

. In some rooms, it’s hard to find wall space for a radiator without putting furniture in front of it, which is pointless. Solve the problem with slimline vertical radiators - they’re ideal when wall space is limited and are handy for drying big things like sheets.

Most vertical radiators are only one or two columns deep, which limits the heat output. As well as being a practical solution for small rooms, these radiators are the perfect combination of period elegance and contemporary style, and a nice feature in their own right.

Large paint rollers require a lot of washing to clean them properly, so it’s often easier to leave them to soak, but this can cause the metal frame to rust, which will leave marks in the paint when you use it. If you want to soak the roller sleeve, try to remove it from the frame first.

DAMP

The quickest and easiest DIY way to deal with damp plaster is to cover it with anti-damp paint and then repaint the topcoat.

Anti-damp paint is usually really thick, so apply it with a brush (to get lots on) and then use a mini foam roller to get a good, flat finish. Leave it to dry thoroughly - see the manufacturer’s instructions - and apply a second coat if recommended.

Anti-damp paint works well for a while, but, in my experience, is rarely able to hold back damp long term.

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HUNTERGATHERER, SMALLBEDROOMPAINTER . . .

Fat-fingered klutzes like me are secretly in awe of household warriors with a natural talent for DIY Words: Robert Shrimsley

Last weekend was spent painting the girl’s bedroom. I mention this not just because it is true but also because, like anyone who engages in DIY work only very rarely, I feel the need for disproportionate approbation when I do.

There are, in the world, real men — household warriors with a natural talent for DIY, who think nothing of taking on large, complicated projects such as plastering, plumbing and, er, fitting blinds. And the sad fact is that fat-fingered klutzes like me are secretly in awe of these guys.

Even if you can congratulate yourself on getting to a position where you can afford to hire someone to take on all the chores, deep down you recognise the inherent masculinity of the guys you bring in. Out in the modern metropolitan world we professionals may be judged a success but subconsciously we know that no woman would ever choose to get stuck with us on a desert island.

When that big decision comes, they always go for the gruff Harrison Ford type who might actually keep them alive, rather than the metrosexual, white-collar guy who’s great at writing memos. Hence that primal urge for caveman credibility that makes us insist on overseeing the barbecue. Fire: that’s man-work.

Naturally then, given my insufficiently unconscious insecurity, I seized on the opportunity to reclaim my genetic status as hunter-gatherer, small-bedroomdecorator by making an enormous fuss about my painting achievements. The family was required to troop up to the room to see how well it had been done, with the understanding that the smattering of light-blue paint spots on the carpet near the skirting boards was not worthy of comment.

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But even before the big afternoon of decorating, there was a further need to tell other people outside the house, none of whom could have been remotely interested, that I was “painting my daughter’s bedroom this weekend”.

My osteopath, for example, was fully apprised of the plan. (I confess, I did wonder whether the kind of men who are actually good at DIY routinely visit osteopaths but, let me tell you, mild curvature is no laughing matter.)

Obviously, I imparted news of my decorating plans in the required humblebrag fashion so as to suggest an innate practicality that always rendered me the go-to guy for such tasks, rather than the bloke who is used only when the job is too embarrassingly minor to call out a handyman.

This embarrassment factor has been a useful discipline in forcing me to upgrade my DIY skills to the point where there are relatively few really pathetic tasks I will not now undertake. (I suspect I could be less wary of things such as light switches, but feel able to justify hired help by breathing in through my teeth and observing in my best mockney that “you don’t wanna mess with electrics”.)

By and large the work went well, although my self-esteem was not aided by the assistance of the girl, who proved irritatingly competent. It was she, for example, who first raised the issue of primer paint, forcing me to justify the lazy decision not to trouble myself with an undercoat. It was the girl who cracked why the roller wasn’t rolling smoothly — “Maybe you are holding it too tight against the wall?” — and, now that I think about it, it was her decision to tape up the dust sheet to the skirting board to minimise spillage.

However, it was definitely my idea to put masking tape over the picture rail to ensure we did not paint over it — and I happen to know that’s a trick used by professionals.

I also deserve the credit for buying the extra-thin roller so that we could paint most of the wall behind her heavy cabin bed without bothering to move it. I suppose I could have got the boy to help me shift it, but there is a delicate balance to be struck between ensuring a bit of domestic respect and proving so able that you get earmarked for other jobs.

That’s the issue with caveman cred. You want enough to hold your own around the fire pit — but not so much that the tribe start asking you to renovate the whole cave.

ISLE OF MAN PREMIER MAGAZINE

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FEATURE PROPERTIES

Ballacottier, Brookfield Avenue Ramsey

£375,000 Part Exchange Considered A well presented detached property that has been extended to provide family accommodation.

The accommodation comprises: n Large Lounge with wood burning stove n Large Kitchen/Diner which provides a fabulous family space n Family Room, Utility Room and Family Bathroom n Master Bedroom with Dressing Room and En-

Ground Floor: Approximately 1440 SQ.FT.

Suite Bathroom n Three further good sized Bedrooms n Integral Garage, Large Driveway, Garden laid mainly to Lawn n uPVC Double Glazing n Oil Fired Central Heating

1st Floor: Approximately 855 SQ.FT.

33 Laurel Avenue, Birch Hill, Onchan

£349,950

A deceptively spacious extended detached Dormer Bungalow situated in a much sought residential Cul-de-Sac location close to local schools, Onchan village and amenities.

The accommodation comprises:

n Lounge Large, Dining Kitchen and Dining Room n Outstanding spacious T - Shaped Conservatory n 5 Double Bedrooms n Family Bathroom and Upstairs WC n Integral Single Garage with Driveway Parking for up to 3 Cars n Good Sized Plot Private Garden n uPVC Double Glazed n Oil Fired Central Heating n Viewings Highly Recommended

Ground Floor: Approximately 1809 SQ.FT.

1st Floor: Approximately 533 SQ.FT.

Branches Island Wide Tel: 01624 662820 www.propertywise.co.im

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ISLE OF MAN PREMIER MAGAZINE

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26, Furman Close, Onchan £370,000 Modern detached 4 bedroom house offering spacious well laid out family accommodation. The property is situated within a quiet cul-de-sac location and from the first floor there are superb distant sea views towards Douglas. There is a large South facing lawned garden with an extensive decked area.

Key Features n Modern detached house n Spacious family accommodation n Quiet cul-de-sac location n Sea views towards Douglas Bay from the first floor n 3 Reception rooms n Large dining kitchen n 4 Bedrooms n Bathroom and additional shower room n Large South facing rear garden n Integral garage

T: 01624 667788 W: garforthgray.im ISLE OF MAN PREMIER MAGAZINE ISLE OF MAN PREMIER MAGAZINE

Local RIBA chartered practice, Hugh Logan Architects, can help to provide a unique solution in order to realise your needs, desires and aspirations for your property.

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Old Brook, Croit e Caley, Colby

£449,000 4 Bedroom | 2 Bathroom | 3 Reception KEY FEATURES

n Detached dormer bungalow n Spacious family accommodation n Lovely views over the surrounding countryside n 3 Reception rooms n Ultra modern dining kitchen n Utility room and downstairs cloakroom (WC) n 4 Double bedrooms (master with en-suite and dressing room) n Family bathroom n Extensive mature walled gardens Large driveway, integral garage and 3 additional garages (each currently rented out for £80.00 per calendar month) with carport Detached 4 bedroom dormer bungalow offering spacious family accommodation and for sale with no onward chain. The property is situated in a semi-rural location and is within a short drive of Port Erin/Port St Mary and Castletown. There are lovely countryside views along with countryside and coastal walks with the local Spar shop and pubs within a 10/15 minute walk. There is a bus stop around the corner along with access to the Douglas to Port Erin steam train.

The property is surrounded by extensive mature walled gardens and at the front there is a large driveway, integral garage plus there is a detached carport and 3 additional garages which are each currently rented out for £80.00 per calendar month.

T: 01624 667788 w: garforthgray.im

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Isle of Man Teas are available to buy online and Island-wide from Shoprite, Mostly Manx, The Food Assembly and many other retailers.

APPETITE

Recipes LAMB SHANK HOT POT (Serves 4) n Vegetable oil, for cooking n 4 lamb shanks (about 200g each), French trimmed (get your butcher to do this for you) n 6 small onions, halved n 1 garlic bulb (about 8-12 cloves), peeled and sliced n 1 large swede, peeled and diced n 150g crumbled goat’s cheese n 1tbsp cracked black pepper n 2tsp thyme leaves n 500ml lamb stock n 4 large turnips (about 200g each), peeled and thinly sliced n 50g butter, diced n Sea salt Heat a good splash of oil in a large flameproof casserole over a mediumhigh heat. Season the lamb shanks with a little salt then fry them two at a time until deeply and evenly coloured. Don’t hurry the process searing the meat properly helps to create that deep, delicious flavour.

Drain off the rendered fat. Set the lamb shanks aside.

Turn the heat down a bit and add a splash more oil to the casserole, followed by the onions, garlic and a pinch of salt. Cook gently for about 10-12 minutes until golden and softened. Remove from the heat and return the lamb shanks to the pan, placing them on top of the onions with the bones pointing upwards.

Preheat the oven to 150C/Fan 130C/ Gas 2. In a bowl, combine the swede, goat’s cheese, pepper and thyme, then pack it around the lamb shanks.

Pour in the stock. Fan the turnip slices in a circle over the swede and around the lamb shanks then dot with the butter.

Put the lid on or, if that’s not possible because the shank bones are poking up too high, cover with foil and seal tightly. Cook in the oven for oneand-a-half hours, then remove the lid or foil and return to the oven for a further one-and-a-half hours until the lamb is soft, covering with foil if it browns too quickly. The turnips will be crispy on the top.

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APPETITE

MELT-IN-THE-MIDDLE CHOCOLATE PUDDINGS (Makes 8) n 125g butter, plus extra for greasing n Cocoa powder, to dust n 200g dark chocolate, chopped n 2 eggs plus 2 yolks n 100g caster sugar n 25g plain flour n Cream and berries, to serve n Preheat the oven to 180C/160C fan/gas 4.

MANX RYE FLOUR

100% Manx grown and milled rye flour is now available to purchase on the Isle of Man following a successful trial venture between Laxey Glen Mills, McMillin farms, NOA Bakehouse and the Department of Environment, Food and Agriculture (DEFA).

This is the first time in its 150 year history that Laxey Glen Mills has milled a grain other than wheat.

The success of the project is thanks to the skills of the team at the mill, the enthusiasm of Miles Pettit at NOA Bakehouse and funding and support from the DEFA Food Matters strategy.

A limited trial crop was successfully grown in 2016 by cereal farmer Will McMillin at McMillin farm at the Lhen followed by a successful milling process with the majority of the rye flour produced intended for use at NOA Bakehouse. However, an additional quantity will be available through the Food Assembly in 500g bags from the end of February and the 2017 crop has already been planted in anticipation of increasing demand.

Liberally butter eight mini pudding or dariole moulds and lightly dust the insides with cocoa powder. This makes the puddings easier to turn out once cooked. Cut a small circle of baking parchment the same size as the top of each mould and place inside each one to stop the puddings sticking.

Melt the butter and chopped dark chocolate in a large heatproof bowl set over a pan of simmering water. Stir together until there are no lumps of either remaining and the mixture is smooth.

Crack the eggs into another large bowl and add the extra yolks and the sugar.

Use an electric hand-held whisk to whisk the mixture until it is thick, fluffy and very pale in colour. Fold in the melted chocolate using a spatula, then sift over the flour and mix well to combine. Don’t BECAUSE QUALITY MATTERS

worry if you knock out the air; you don’t want the puddings to rise like a souffle.

Rye flour, along with the entire Laxey flour range can be purchased at the Food Assembly which is held at Noa Bakehouse every second Wednesday from 5pm to 6.30pm.

Spoon the mixture into the prepared moulds, filling each one two-thirds full.

Bake the puddings for eight to 10 minutes.

When they are ready, there should be a thin crust on the top but the centre should still have a slight wobble.

Leave the puddings to stand for two minutes before turning out. I run a small palette knife around the inside edge of each mould to loosen it slightly. If they do not turn out properly, or you want to play it safe, you can always serve the puddings in the mould and just dive straight in with a spoon. Serve with a nice dollop of cream and a few fresh berries.

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APPETITE

IT’S ALWAYS MIDNIGHT SOMEWHERE… #BERLIN In a bid to shake my monthly column up a little bit - pun absolutely intended - I’ve decide to try my hand at writing somewhat of a travel/drinking feature. It’s likely to be a fairly spontaneous number, you know when I actually visit somewhere new and have something to talk about, but you can bet your last pound note that it’s going to give you the low down on what’s going on in the world of drinking outside of our tiny island bubble. First stop… BERLIN! Undoubtedly Europe’s coolest city; Berlin is a mecca for bohemians, hipsters and artists alike - Europe’s creative class, if you will. The culture of said class is apparent city-wide; artists want to showcase their work in one it’s many indie galleries, DJs from around the world want to be a part of its club scene, baristas arrive by the drove, eager to learn from one of the hundreds of small independently run coffee shops and roasteries and – ahh yes, cocktails.

After a couple of shifts scouring Booking.com and Airbnb for suitable accommodation for four, I called it a day and asked a friend who was a Berlin regular for some advice. They recommended the Michelberger Hotel in the north eastern Freidrichshain neighbourhood; “good rooms, epic location and a s**t hot bar”, sounded like a winner to me.

We arrived, checked in and before heading up to our room, grabbed a drink at the bar that my friend had so zealously described. He wasn’t wrong, their menu was small but neat, with house cocktails listed merely as the drink’s name and three adjectives - as opposed to the more conventional name/ingredients. I went for Ford, described as dry, clean, graceful – first drink of the trip and certainly not a metaphor for the remainder – which was a kind of gin/gentian martini, that was indeed dry, clean and oh so graceful. My friend went for Forbidden Forest (classic,

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lasting, invigorating) a sort of sage infused Sazerac, that was pretty darn faultless. Our partners/handlers opted for non-alcoholic alternatives - perhaps pre-empting our inevitable demise – that were equally fantastic; draught coconut water (yup, DRAUGHT!) heated up and served with fresh ginger and lime.

After a chat with our bartender he called us a taxi and sent us off to his favourite bar; Green Door. As the name suggests, we arrived at a green door, it was locked.

We rang the doorbell and after waiting a couple of minutes a smartly dressed chap showed us through a kitsch, 1970’s inspired, smoky room – the smoking ban in Berlin is complicated, but the thick fog added a certain romance - to an intimate corner booth. As I’ve already mentioned, I was in a dry, crisp and graceful kind of mood, so preceded to order Gibson Martinis for the table – a personal favourite.

Some six years ago, I visited Berlin with my then girlfriend/now fiancé on a two month, post university, cross Europe (and back again) inter-rail adventure. Whilst that trip was a little more frugal than this one, we did stumble upon an absolute gem of a bar called Café Luzia – I stay stumble upon in the literal sense, because whilst searching for a bar a friend had recommended, we quite literally did fall through the doors.

It’s a sort of laid back café by day and rowdy party launch pad by night kind of venue. Bare brick walls, warped Banksy-esc street art and 1950/60’s furniture adorn the place and the vibe is set by an eclectic soundtrack; ranging from jazz to hip hop to minimal to techno.

Words by: Jamie Lewis @jamielewislewis

that the place might not actually be open anymore, but I’m happy to report, that Café Luzia is still open for business and as raucous as ever. Cocktails were good, we drank Whiskey Sours (sans egg white) and shots of Jameson - standard.

At this point, I’m already over my word count and the editor is probably going to tell me off. So, this month instead of a cocktail recipe, I’ve opted to leave you with a couple of my other favourite Berlin haunts.

Frittiersalon: EPIC EPIC EPIC BURGERS! DO NOT MISS OUT!!

Tausend; dark and sleek speakeasy vibe nightclub playing hip hop/funk/ electronica.

Steel Vintage Bikes Café; chilled and easy going café, great coffee and veggie lunch spot.

Five Elephant Coffee; cute, clean and minimal café and roastery. Epic coffee and kick ass banana bread.

Michelberger Restaurant; eclectic small plate menu, we ate; wild pigs head fritters, salt baked celeriac and confit pork with fennel ketchup.

This time around, I was adamant that we were going to re-visit and after a quick google [bare brick quirky techno cocktail café bar berlin] I stumbled across a familiar image, found the name and booked an Uber. It only occurred to me half way there ISLE OF MAN PREMIER MAGAZINE

APPETITE

CHEAT MEALS

FOOD PRODUCERS AND MANUFACTURING GIANTS WHO DOMINATING THE WORLD FOOD MARKET IN 2016 Every year sales and profits of companies around the world are calculated and formed into neat little lists for all to see, and it’s very rare the top three rankings change.

1ST PLACE: NESTLE

Let’s think about what the word cheat actually means. It implies that you’ve done something wrong. That you’ve been dishonest or lied to gain an advantage.

Everyone’s beloved kit-kat maker makes it to the top of the list, despite a 39% fall in profits compared to 2015, this chocolate bar king retains its crown as the highest profiting food manufacturer in 2016, with sales totalling $92 billion, with profits of $9 billion.

Is eating a take away or a doughnut being dishonest? It is going to give you an unfair advantage in life? Highly unlikely.

2ND PLACE: ANHEUSER-BUSCH INBEV

Words by: Angela Clucas MSc, Performance Nutritionist at Next Level Nutrition

I see ‘cheat meals’ talked about all the time on social media but what’s the score?

Or perhaps you’re using the phrase ‘cheat meal’ to disguise what is essentially a binge because your diet has been so restrictive for so long and you can no longer keep things under control Either way, neither of these behaviours are healthy and contributed on over time, could potentially lead to some serious issues with food Then let’s think if this from an energy intake v output point of view. If your goal is fat loss so you restrict your calories by 200-300 per day 6 days per week, you’re in a deficit of 1200-1800 overall. Dominos pizza is around 200kcal per slice so 9 slices in addition to a normal day’s food intake and you’ve undone all your hard work for the week...

3RD PLACE: COCA-COLA

The household name that has been on your lips since birth no doubt raked in an estimated $43 billion in sales, and from that a $7 billion profit in 2016.

Another drink giant slides in to second place on the list of the world’s top food and beverage manufacturers, with an estimated $44 billion in sales and an $8 billion profit from it. Being the largest beer company in the industry with over 200 beer brands under their belt, it’s no wonder they’ve made it to the top of the list. We all know our island is renowned for how much we enjoy a drink here and there, and the statistics are there to prove it, so there’s no getting out of the participation guilt for this one.

So what can you do to enjoy the food you love?

1. Be mindful of amounts. If you love pizza, it’s reasonable that 2 slices will fill your craving, share it with friends and order a smaller pizza, 2-4-1 deals are good for your wallet but bad for your health.

2. Track your food intake. This can be boring from some people but it’s an option if you want to get strict on what you’re eating 3. If you know you’re going out for a meal for a special occasion and you really want to enjoy it the DO! Food should not make you feel guilty or like you have ‘cheated’.

Order good quality food and make sure you enjoy every last bite and stop when you’re full. www.nextlevelIOM.com BECAUSE QUALITY MATTERS

INVITATION TO EXHIBIT AT MAJOR FOOD AND DRINK EVENTS Three major events will allow local food and drink producers to showcase their wares to thousands of customers.

The Department of Environment, Food and Agriculture is inviting food and drink producers to apply for stands at the Southern Agricultural Show, the Royal Manx Agricultural Show and the Isle of Man Food & Drink Festival.

The Southern Show is held on the 29th and 30th July at Great Meadow, Castletown, the Royal Show on 11th and 12th August at Knockaloe and the Isle of Man Food & Drink Festival on 16th and 17th September at the Villa Marina Gardens. www.gov.im/manxfood

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APPETITE

WORDS | Anne Berry | The Wine Cellar

EARTH EARTH IS VERY IMPORTANT TO WINEMAKERS.

THE SOIL IN WHICH THE VINES ARE GROWN CONTRIBUTES CHARACTER AND MINERALITY TO A WINE.

TERROIR IS A FREQUENTLY USED WORD IN THE WINE TRADE AND, WHILE THERE IS NO DIRECT TRANSLATION INTO ENGLISH, IT MEANS THE ENVIRONMENTAL CONDITIONS, ESPECIALLY SOIL AND CLIMATE, IN WHICH GRAPES ARE GROWN AND THAT GIVE A WINE ITS UNIQUE FLAVOUR AND AROMA. OTHER FACTORS MAKING UP ‘TERROIR’ INCLUDE TOPOGRAPHY, ASPECT, GRAPE VARIETY AND WINEMAKING. In the old world, i.e. Europe, there are regions where only certain grape varieties are permitted. It was believed that the soils in these regions were the best suited to these grape varieties. The ‘terroir’ is what makes the wines taste the way they do. Winemakers look to make their wines an expression of that terroir and it has less to do with the grape variety. For this reason, the grape variety rarely appears on the label in regions such as Burgundy (almost always Chardonnay or Pinot Noir) or Sancerre (always Sauvignon Blanc or Pinot Noir).

type of sandy soil that lies over the top of a limestone base. Apart from Unang’s hillside, the only other pockets of this sand are found in the Gigondas in the southern Rhone.

In the south of France, many wines are produced from a blend of several grape varieties and these are full of character, often described as earthy or minerally.

As above, these are not labelled by grape variety, as the producers want to reflect the property or region in the wine, rather than any particular grape variety. One example of a new property that is expressing itself through wine is Chateau Unang in Ventoux.

These two wines are great value at £10.95.

James and Joanna King, both Scottish by descent, bought the property in 2001.

All the vineyards are located around the property and are completely surrounded by forest. Hidden from view, and sheltered from the worst effects of the Mistral, it is a beautiful corner of Provence. Unang is an isolated, self-contained domaine with its own geological category: Les Sables (sands) d’Unang. This refers to a particular

James is the winemaker and his aim is to produces wines with elegance and depth from this unique terroir. The domaine is located in a relatively cool part of the region, and this enables him to do just that.

These are high-altitude wines of freshness, vigour, and minerality. All grapes are hand-harvested and the vineyard is certified organic.

Chateau Unang Blanc is produced from Clairette, Roussanne, Grenache Blanc, grown at the bottom of the slopes on clay-limestone soil. They are

in the shadow of the Plateau de Vaucluse and sheltered from the sun for part of the day. This reduced exposure to the sun gives these vineyards cooler temperatures and slower maturation, lending themselves to lively and expressive wines. This has a delicious fresh minerality with a lively acidity balancing the ripe peach and pineapple fruit flavours.

Serve it as an aperitif, or enjoy it with grilled fish, salads or vegetable based dishes.

Chateau Unang Rouge

The Grenache and Syrah are grown in the highest vineyards on the domaine, at just over 300 metres.

The sandy soil adds softness to the wine and the limestone underneath contributes to the mineral expression. The south-easterly aspect, fanned by the Mistral wind, leads to ripe, clean fruit flavours.

This is an incredibly smooth wine and well suited to many different styles of food.

To enjoy it at its very best, give it twenty minutes in the fridge (yes, the fridge!) before serving and serve with shepherds pie or sausage and mash!

THE WINE CELLAR • TENNIS ROAD • DOUGLAS • IM2 3QW TELEPHONE: 01624 611793 • EMAIL: anne@thewinecellar.im

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FASHION

FASHION FLASH n TAP THIS APP FOR TOP TIPS

We all dream of having a personal stylist to ensure our sartorial perfection every day, don’t we? Well until that dream becomes a reality, DV Closet is the next best thing.

Just launched by entrepreneur Danae Varangis, the iPhone app lets users upload outfit photos and get free advice from a team of stylists, who can also be booked for shopping trips, whether you’re in need of a special ensemble or simply a wardrobe refresh. Download it from the App Store now.

n DUDES FOR DIVERSITY

In a menswear fashion first, Jacamo has unveiled its latest denim campaign, which is fronted by five non-model competition winners. The guys were the winner and runners up in the retailer’s Real Man Runway contest last year, which was launched in response to research that revealed one in five men take slimming pills or go on crash diets because of pressure from ‘perfect’ looking models in the media.

n COULD YOUR PARTNER PICK THE PERFECT OUTFIT?

Two-thirds of men are happy to let their wife or girlfriend go clothes shopping for them, but 80% of women wouldn’t trust their fella to find a suitable outfit, according to a study by Fits Me. It stands to reason then that 20% of men also admit they’ve returned garments bought by their other half, rising to 25% for women.

n STILL SEXY AT 60

Top models are usually ‘discovered’ around the age of 16, but Dulcie Andrews has just landed herself a modelling contract... and she’s 60! The retired Londoner entered a competition run by Saga looking for 50plus ladies and won a year’s representation with Mrs Robinson Management. “The rise of the older model is a marvellous thing - more and more brands are using people representative of the 50-plus generation, so much so that the sight of an older face has moved out of tokenism and into mainstream,” commented Saga Magazine editor Kate Bravery. “And about time too!”

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FASHION

TALLIA STORM WAS GIVING us major shoe envy at the T2 Trainspotting premiere in Edinburgh, but the good news is her sporty Public Desire Annika boots are online now and just £39.99. Showing her love for high street fashion, the Scottish singer teamed her lust-worthy boots with an All Saints biker jacket, Pretty Little Thing tee and Matalan leggings. :: Public Desire Annika Lace Up Sport Stripe Ankle Boots, £39.99 (www.publicdesire. com)

GET THE LOOK

MYLEENE KLASS easily made it onto the ‘best dressed’ list at the National Television Awards in a dress that combined the demure (a high neck and midi hem) with the daring (it was basically see-through). The Chi Chi London Cassy Dress, £71.99, strikes a similar balance, but this one’s lined, so you don’t have to flash your pants... (www. chichiclothing.com).

BECAUSE QUALITY MATTERS

EMMA STONE gave us a masterclass in understated luxe at the La La Land gala screening in London, in a burgundy dress by The Row. That designer number will set you back about £2,000, but Etsy seller CloudHunterCo has a variety of wine-hued real silk slips for around £230, even with shipping from the US. :: CloudHunterCo Red Red Wine Charmeuse Silk Midi Slip Dress, approx. £195.83 (Etsy.com)

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SPORT

BEAUTY PRODUCTS

Conscientious consuming Beauty brands with big hearts, forward thinking values and a wonderful array of products for people who care.

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Kind Natured Deeply Nourishing Shea & Macadamia Body Lotion

Elemental Herbology Shiny Locks Shampoo and Hair Soufflé Conditioner

This brand sticks to a carefully edited list of non-toxic, eco-friendly plant extracts.

97% natural and sulphate, paraben and petrochemical free. Full of nutritious ingredients, this body lotion immediately moisturises and energises dry, thirsty skin back to happiness.

High performance and bio-nutritious skincare made in England. These products contain zero synthetic fragrance, artificial colour, mineral oils, sulphates, paraben preservatives and are not tested on animals. Rich in natural ingredients, this high performance haircare duo not only smells beautiful but will leave your hair glossy and revitalised.

Aromatherapy Associates Revive Body Wash

Origins Drink Up

Energise your mind and body with this invigorating body wash containing some amazing smelling essential oils. The ingredients in this product are ‘wild crafted’, which means they are sourced from their place of origin to ensure they’re of the purest highest quality, for example the lavender will be picked from fields in France!

Origins is the No.1 company in the UK for masks and this one will put dry skin to bed with its ultra-rich, hydrating formula.

Origins only uses plant ingredients which come from renewable resources and their Plant A Tree initiative has already seen half a million trees planted around the world!

St. Tropez Self Tan Bronzing Mousse Suitable for vegans and vegetarians, anti animal testing and paraben free. One St Tropez product is sold every 15 seconds around the world! This oh so soft, easy to use mousse will turn your pasty limbs a light golden brown, making life that little bit better!

Jessica Custom Nail Colour Midnight Mist Jessica Custom Colours are made without all the usual nasties found in nail varnishes.

They are Formaldehyde, Toluene and DBP Free. So they’re even safe to use when you’re pregnant. The lovely new deGruchy nail bar uses Jessica products so why not book yourself in for a treat manicure on your lunch break?

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HARDWARE

WORDS Russ Atkinson

IF YOU’RE IN THE BUSINESS OF MOVING EARTH, YOU’RE PROBABLY NOT DOING EARTH TOO MANY FAVOURS. BUT CAN YOU HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT? Picture the scene: you’ve got a coal or iron mine of biblical proportions somewhere in Siberia and you need to extract ore at an unholy rate to make it pay. It’s a big gamble that requires big machinery, but the operation has to be incredibly efficient.

Heavy work in tough conditions, day in, day out, year round.

If I’m honest, your first priority should be acquiring a Bagger 288 (officially the world’s largest vehicle and so iconic that it even has its own meme on YouTube with nearly 3 million hits). But you’re still going to need something to move all of that overburden and coal about once you’ve dug it up, and that’s where the BelAZ 75710 comes in.

You see, it’s hard to deny that coal is bad for the environment once you burn it and release plumes of carbon dioxide

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and particles of soot and all of the other byproducts that I paid little attention to during chemistry classes in secondary school. It’s the same story for the emissions from the gigantic diesel engines powering the machinery used to extract it from the earth so surely it’s about time somebody at least made a token effort to do something about that? Well if it is, I think that Belorussian plant manufacturer BelAZ might’ve missed the point a little.

But then they have managed to build the largest dumper truck on the planet so as a petrolhead I’m willing to ignore that it probably isn’t Euro VI compliant.

according to the manufacturer. I’ve a feeling it’s slightly more complicated than that in reality, but you’ll be forgiven for forgetting the details when you read what’s coming next: it’s electrically powered.

In a nutshell, the BelAZ 75710 carries a payload 25% bigger than the next largest competitor which, presumably employing the power of all of Belarus’ man-mathematicians’ man-maths combined gives an efficiency improvement of 25%

So you’re digging up a fossil fuel with the sole intention of burning it (or attempting to extract sufficient quantities of iron-one with which to make another absurdly sized dumper truck - this is all about efficiency, remember) but using an electrically

Driven by four electric motors, one for each wheel, this behemoth generates a combined 7,200 horsepower, weighs 360 tonnes unladen and can carry a staggering 450 metric tonnes of material in that shallow load bed bolted to it. The reason it’s so shallow? Purely so that the operator isn’t tempted to overload it. As if 450 tonnes at a time wasn’t enough already.

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HARDWARE HARDWARE

powered dumper truck to transport it so you’re practically running a carbon neutral operation. Actually, don’t stop buying those carbon credits to offset your emissions just yet because here’s the kicker. The 360 tonne unladen weight isn’t made up of about 200 tonnes of lithium-ion batteries (roughly equivalent to enough to power the sun, according to those Belorussian man-mathematicians), the electricity comes from two onboard generators. Oh, and those generators are powered by two V16 diesel engines, each displacing a whopping 65 litres and producing a combined 4,600 horsepower. Oh well, he thought was there, at least, and it’d probably take all night and then some to charge it with an extension lead running from the Portakabin where they take their teabreaks. Which is exactly where you’ll be whiling away your time whilst you wait for the 5,600 litre diesel tank to be refilled.

“IN A NUTSHELL, THE BELAZ 75710 CARRIES A PAYLOAD 25% BIGGER THAN THE NEXT LARGEST COMPETITOR WHICH, PRESUMABLY EMPLOYING THE POWER OF ALL OF BELARUS’ MAN-MATHEMATICIANS’ MANMATHS COMBINED GIVES AN EFFICIENCY IMPROVEMENT OF 25% ACCORDING TO THE MANUFACTURER.” electrically powered.

Reading about this got me thinking that if you need around seven thousand horsepower to carry 450 tonnes of ore but you need over four and a half thousand horsepower of diesel generators to create enough electrical energy to propel the fully laden truck to an admittedly impressive top speed of 40mph then why not just stick another sixteen cylinder diesel motor in there and be done with it?

You’re producing something that transports coal, after all.

Could it be that nobody else is likely to bother, meaning you’re pretty much guaranteed to hold onto the Guinness World Record for largest diesel-hybrid ultra class haul truck? Or could there be something more to all of this? Could it be that the electrical motors offer a more efficient transmission solution owing to having less moving parts than a conventional gearbox and transfer gearbox used in conventional all-wheel-drive vehicles? Apparently not, as the Siemens system that ties it all together is allegedly quite complex and has lead to concerns that BelAZ’s approach isn’t a particularly efficient one even if it’s able to limp back to your oversized workshop on three motors if one experiences a failure.

The upshot, I suppose, apart from the willy-waving side of things at least, is that electric motors supply instant, smooth and linear torque which has surely got to be a distinct advantage operating in the unforgiving and unrelenting environments that these impressive machines are expected to work in. But does it have a kettle in the cab? That’d surely be the height of operating efficiency.

BECAUSE QUALITY MATTERS

CONSOLATION PRIZES Operating the world’s biggest dump truck is one thing, but we live in a world where the customer is king and the king always has choices. So here are the next five biggest ultra class dumper trucks for you to take a look at, because it’s nice to have options: LIEBHERR T-282B

Another diesel-hybrid creation, this one comes with a choice of 3,650 horsepower 90 litre V20 and 3,500 horsepower 78 litre V18 engines.

Final assembly is taken care of on the purchaser’s premises so it must be a nightmare flogging one second hand.

CATERPILLAR 797F

American industrial giant Caterpillar’s largest offering, the 797F superceded the 797B and can carry an extra 18.1 tonnes. Hopefully Caterpillar staff are better at building trucks than learning the alphabet.

TEREX/BUCYRUS MT 6300AC

Terex can’t take all of the glory for this one as they acquired production of the MT 6300AC when they purchased Bucyrus. You may be surprised to read that this sporty notso-little number is rear wheel drive.

KOMATSU 930E-3SE

Behold! What you see here is the world’s best-selling ultra class haul truck with sales reaching over 1000 units. Surprisingly, despite being considered their flagship model it’s neither their largest or heaviest hauling creation.

HITACHI EH5000ACII

The baby of the bunch, carrying just 296 tonnes of whatever you’ve got 296 tonnes of that you need moving somewhere, this clever machine streams operating data through the internet constantly to help the operator assess and improve its operating productivty remotely.

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HARDWARE HARDWARE

GADGETS

POWER OUTAGE WORDS Rebecca Evans

Think of the word ‘gadget’ and you’ll probably think of something electrical or battery operated. Undoubtedly handy, often time saving, but when it really comes down to it, likely to be superfluous to our everyday existence.

With Earth Hour happening later this month and encouraging us all to be more mindful about the resources we use and the sustainability of our planet, it could be hard to justify these power-burning little luxuries that our homes are filled with. This month therefore I’ve scoured the high street and internet to bring you a selection of energy-saving gadgets and gizmos that can help us all be a little bit greener.

E-Bikes

We've seen the innovations in cycling go from strength to strength over the last 10 years and predict that e-bikes will be the next big thing for 2017.

The Samedi 27 is the bike for old-school rides, family rides, leisure rides, or rides that get your heart pumping; to look good while you’re riding on the streets or country lanes; slow rides or riding as fast as you can; short rides or riding as long as you can!

Logitech Wireless Solar Keyboard K750

Despite our best energy saving intentions, the majority of us still find ourselves enslaved by power gobbling electrical appliances for a lot of the time. Just because the computer you sit in front keeps the meter spinning however, doesn’t mean the accessories have to.

The Logitech Wireless Keyboard is solar powered and charges via either natural or artificial light, with a full charge lasting an incredible 3 months in total darkness. The PVC-free construction & totally recyclable packaging contribute to the tiny ecological footprint this responsibly designed product leaves. The sleek looks and comfortable usability are really just a bonus.

The Logitech Wireless Solar Keyboard is £69.99 from www.logitech.com

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The high-end frame with hydroformed alloy tubes is available in two versions, Standard or Open step-through frame.

With a high-rise handlebar and a shorter frame, it was designed for those looking for more comfort and ease while riding. .

The Samedi 27 is avaiable from Riley’s Garden Centre. www.rileys.co.im

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HARDWARE

Roberts Solar DAB Radio

This smart little radio is ideal for beach BBQs, garden parties, conservatories and even a sunny windowsill. The backlit LED screen includes a solar & battery indicator, and the best conditions allow full volume radio play whilst charging the inbuilt battery, allowing the crystal clear music to continue long after the sun has slipped behind La Rocco tower.

Pre-set channels make it easy to switch between popular national and local radio stations, but should you prefer to choose your own tunes, a handy line-in socket for iPod or MP3 player means the Solar DAB can also act as a speaker for your personal playlists.

A mains power cable is included in case desperate times call for desperate measures.

The Roberts Solar DAB is available from the Powerhouse at £89.99

Dynamo Wind Up Torch

Country lanes and dark skies are part of the charm of our beautiful Island, and conserving energy by reducing light pollution can only be a good thing, but especially at this time of year anyone who regularly ventures around on foot will recognise the importance of carrying a good torch.

The pocket sized Dynamo Wind-Up Torch from Mountain Warehouse is the answer.

3 low energy but ultra-bright LED bulbs will never need replacing, easy to navigate settings allow you to select the appropriate power, and the inbuilt dynamo creates 30 minutes of light from just 1 minute of winding.

The Dynamo Wind Up Torch is available from Mountain Warehouse at £4.99

A breath of fresh air

H20 Water Powered Alarm Clock

With no requirement for batteries or mains electricity, this clever device draws out the ions present in water and uses them to keep ticking over, as it were.

The large LCD display features time, day of the week and even temperature reading, and each fill of water should last 8-12 weeks.

When the display starts to dim simply empty and refill; an integral memory chip means there is no need to reset the time or alarm.

The H20 Water powered alarm clock is available from www. amazon.co.uk from £12.50

BECAUSE QUALITY MATTERS

This nifty smartphone-sized gadget will help science fans with an interest in environmental issues. Created by former Labour Science Minister, Lord Drayson, it monitors the pollution levels you come face-to-face with. Download the corresponding app and connect the tag to your phone via Bluetooth, then off you go. If you're walking, running or riding your bike in areas that are orange (not good) or red (terrible air), you'll be encouraged to try different routes to take in good air (green). In addition to the health benefits, there's another incentive to take 'green' routes. For every clean mile that you notch up, you'll be given reward points which can be exchanged for treats - for example a voucher to use at a gym.

On top of all of this, it uses Freevolt which harvests energy around us emitted by broadcast waves, 3G, 4G and WiFi - so there are no batteries to change.

CleanSpace Tag, £75, from store.clean.space

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HARDWARE

PHONE HOME

at a glance

5.2”

SAMSUNG GALAXY A5 (2017)

To add to the flagship feel, this new device also features a 5.2 inch screen with a subtle curved design that almost touches the edge of the phone.

The new floating shutter on its impressive 16 megapixel camera adds a nice additional feature in that it allows you to move the on-screen button anywhere you wish.

internal storage

touchscreen

Get the perfect combination of style and functionality.

The Samsung Galaxy A5 (2017) offers premium features at a more affordable price. With an allmetal frame and glass back, along with crisp and clear content bursting with colour, this new device looks and feels like something that should be a lot more expensive.

32GB

16MP

plus 16 megapixel front facing camera

Android OS

1.9GHz octa-core processor

The Samsung Galaxy A5 is now in Manx Telecom from £0 upfront @ £35 per month over 24 months includes 300 minutes, 10.000 texts and 10GB data.

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If you’re wearing the Samsung Gear S3 on your wrist, then you need never again worry about leaving your phone at home, even if you’re going away for a few days.

The Gear S3 is the latest smartwatch from Samsung and it has been designed to impress. Bigger and better than previous versions, the S3’s classic lines look superb on your arm, creating the look and feel of a premium watch on the outside, whilst hiding the speed and power of the latest tech on the inside.

Controlled by the bezel, you can answer calls, flick through apps and change settings with a natural ease that leaves other smartwatches in the shade. The inbuilt speakers mean you can leave your phone at home, choosing instead to use the Gear S3 to make and respond to calls.

Running on Samsung’s Tizen operating system, the Gear S3 is both Android and iOS compatible, and can run for days without needing to recharge.

You’ll also find a fast-charging battery inside and a decent 1.9GHz Octa Core processor, which together provide a slick experience. With 32GB of built in memory and space to be supported by a microSD card with up to a further 256GB of memory, this phones storage capacity is huge.

4G ready, you won’t want to let this phone out of your hand. And with its water and dust resistant finish, you won’t have to.

LET’S GET WEARABLE – SAMSUNG GEAR S3

from £0 upfront @ £35 per month over 24 months on Smartphone 10GB tariff including 300 minutes, 10,000 texts and 10GB data

As is often the case with wearable tech, the Gear S3 comes complete with fitness app, including a heart rate monitor as well as GPS and mapping systems that mean you’ll never get lost whilst out for a run!

The Samsung Gear S3 represents a huge step forward in smartwatch design, so come and have a look, we’ve got it in the Sure Store now for just £16.50 per month.

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NIGHTLIFE

PAPP’D AT CAFE BAR TWO-SIX 1 YEAR BIRTHDAY PARTY, AIRPORT RD, BALLASALLA

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ARE YOU IN?

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“A Willy Wonka land for vapers and coffee lovers”

WITH A COOL, VINTAGE VIBE HOUSE OF VAPES (ISLE OF MAN) IS THE ISLAND’S ONLY E-CIGARETTE COFFEE SHOP With a huge selection of premium eliquid that can be sampled at our FREE ‘TESTING BAR’, we also stock the largest selection of devices with everything from basic starter kits to high-end mods.

Come and KICK BACK on one of our comfy sofas

GRAB a proper cup of COFFEE MANN’S COFFEE Have a VAPE and chill out

HOUSE OF VAPES 11 Castle Street Douglas, IM1 2EX T: 01624 625212

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Hottest Destinations.

Legendary moments.

Escape the Rock.

CLUBBING • BEACH • FUN • ADVENTURE • PARTY HOLIDAYS FROM THE ISLE OF MAN

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£50

n Persoeparture

d before weeks just 4 alance Pay b

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Book your getaway today

escapetherock.im

PARTY DESTINATIONS: IBIZA • AYIA NAPA • KOH SAMUI • CORFU • TZANTE • KAVOS • MAGALUF

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manx telecom

parish walk 2017 85 miles. 17 churches. 24 hours.

17th & 18th June

got what it takes? enter at:

parishwalk.com entries close

sunday 7th may

training for the manx telecom parish walk? take a training selfie with our plaques located around the course and upload it to Facebook along with #MTParishWalk

The Wilkins store is now closed but we will be launching our diamond, bridal and jewellery collections online very soon.

www.wilkinsthejeweller.co.uk