Quench - Issue 67

BEAUTY

AND THE

TE R P IL LA R A C Y C LU EN CRAWL

CAMD CH T I H O C C O MOR EFT AUTO GRAnD TH

T M G M

ION SHOOT

SH BEAUTY FA

OU...?

RE Y HOW GAY A

contents : Issue 67 - 12th May 2008 TRAVEL

Lloydd Griffiths stuck his thumb out last month and hitched his way to Morocco in the name of charity. Yes you read that correctly, he hitchhiked ALL THE WAY to Morocco... in Africa!

p.22

DIGITAL

p.37

VOYEUR - - - - - - - - - - - DEBATE - - - - - - - - - - - - FASHION - - - - - - - - - - GAY - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - FEATURES - - - - - - - - - - INTERVIEWS - - - - - - - TRAVEL - - - - - - - - - - - - BLIND DATE - - - - - - - - -

p.04 p.06 p.09 p.12 p.14 p.17 p.22 p.23

It’s all about Grand Theft Auto this week on the Digital pages. So if you’ve become addicted to it, take a break from revision and check it out...

FOOD - - - - - - - - - - - - - CULT CLASSICS- - - - - - ARTS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - BOOKS - - - - - - - - - - - - DIGITAL - - - - - - - - - - - - MUSIC - - - - - - - - - - - - - FILM - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

p.26 p.31 p.33 p.34 p.37 p.41 p.49

Cover: Amy Harrison/Ben Bryant - The Dream Team

Editor Ben Bryant Executive Editor Amy Harrison Assistant to the Editors Elaine Morgan Arts Amy Grier, Tasha Prest-Smith Blind Date Hazel Plush Books Tom Williams Cult Classics Gareth Mogg Debate Aisling Tempany Digital Dom MukwambaSendall Fashion Jo Butler, Mary Parkes Features Gillian Couch, Chris Rogers, Jim Whiteley Film Sim Eckstein, Will Hitchins Food Kath Petty, Daniel Smith Gay Andy Tweddle Going Out Lucy Rowe, Amelia Thomas Interviews Michael Bateson-Hill, Lucinda Day, Annika Henderson Music Kyle Ellison, Francesca Jarvis, Si Truss Travel Jim Finucane, Kirsty Page Photography Sophie Pycroft, Ed Salter Proof Readers Hazel Plush, Kath Petty, Laurel Burn, Aisling Tempany

voyeur

M

{Voyeur}

oney is money. The two pound coin you just used to buy ice cream is worth exactly the same as the four fifty pence pieces clinking around in your jeans. In the simple, symbolic world of money, a penny is a penny, a pound is a pound.

Except sometimes it isn’t. I have a pocketful of change. I’m going to walk home with it jangling against my thigh. I’ll probably lose half of it behind my sofa when I crash out this evening. But it’s not a great loss, because even I do fish it out of the sofa, it’s pretty much worthless.

What am I going to do with 14 pence worth of change from the cost of a Double Decker and some gum? I know exactly what I’m going to do with it: it’s going to sit on my desk at home for about a month.

Half will inexplicably disappear and never return. It’s worthless metal, you see; you might as well eat it.

There’s a hierarchy within money.

The whole is greater than the sum of the parts: everybody knows that a one pound coin is worth more than one hundred one pence coins.

I am less inclined to buy chips on the way home from a night out if I don’t have any change. It’s not because I don’t want the weight of the coinage. It’s just that twenty pound notes are too good to be used for buying dirty chips from takeaways.

You need a greasy pound coin for that, or a palm full of silver.

One pence coins, meanwhile, are just an embarrassment to society, barely capable of conducting a transaction single-handedly. Shopkeepers sniff in your direction when you attempt to hand over a fistful of pennies to pay for anything more grandiose than a Double Dip. That’s the state of affairs we’ve arrived at: penny coins are only good enough for penny sweets. They’re barely worth the metal they’re printed on.

BB

04 / voyeur@gairrhydd.com

OUT

IN

Motion for student council: replace all Students’ Union soap dispensers with HOFF soap the only celebrity endorsed pumpaction semen dispensing palm cleanser, perfect for that extra boost of MAN on a night out in the Union.

soap

HOFF soap

..

“

E-SHOPPER

Wind up Japanese soup

JUST £14.21

“These 2.5’’Japanese noodle soup (Ramen) are not just look so real, [sic] they also bring you so much fun!

Wind them up and watch they [sic[ run around your house!”

Set of four. www.spiralandcircle.com

.

Amber Duval

voyeur

.....

RATES ‘CELEBRITIES’

“

“

H

ello girls, boys and in-betweeners! Amber Duval here. It has come to my attention recently that the sordid underbelly of the internet has been quietly incubating a compendium of desperate wannabe celebrities, all eager to get their rocks off to the latest exhibitionistic display from lonelygirl15 and her companions. Let’s be clear about this: webcams can’t buy you class. Immortalisation in the digital world is not a fast track to the upper echelons of celebrity society, and Youtube, as we all know, is just a platform for the curios of society. So if you really want to get ahead , I suggest you curb your snivelling little web-based ‘revelations’.

Instead, film a self-administered scotch bonnet and hoist it up onto Redtube. Comecrumpets!

Chris Crocker ‘LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!’ “There is nothing quite so sad as having to bear witness to a teenager regurgitating seventeen years’ worth of hormonal repression and bourgeois rebellion in a two minute clip about that awful shanty bag, Britney Spears” 0/10 gairrhydd

Tay Zonday ‘Chocolate Rain’

Angry German Kid ‘Angry German Kid’ “This is more like it. I felt a delicious frisson of excitement as ‘Angry German Kid’ expelled a manic volley of curses onto his indifferent PC. Dress me up in a Polish flag and invade me!” 6/10

Spamflaps! What a fruity little performer this chap is! His catchy little ditty gets my head bobbing and my gusset growling away every time. ‘Chocolate rain... some stay dry and others feel the pain’ 9/10

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FEATURES .2007

OCTOBER.22

gairrhydd.COM

FEATURES@

ents gairrhydd pres Volume II Winter 2007

creative words volume III

Now accepting submissions for Volume III of Creative Words - the creative writing supplement of gair rhydd.

Please send all submissions (max 1500 words) to books@gairrhydd.com

.......................................... ...............

Fall 2007 dents iversity stu Cardiff Un writing by of creative ogy hol ant An

Volume II

voyeur@gairrhydd.com /

05

debate

Missing books and loud whispering

VS

An escape from other distractions

As exams begin, the library becomes the only place to be.

So are the libraries a sanctuary for stressed studious second years, or reeking of the scent of sugary-drinks and sweat?

A

hh…that concrete bundle of joy that we know all too well, the library. Many of us have recently been flocking to the library in droves, crouched over those little booths staring into oblivion, endlessly standing next to the computers waiting for someone to stop messing around on facebook so you can hurriedly type up your bibliography, or shooting daggers at those opposite, who are whispering ever-so-slightly too loudly.

I admit I do engage in a good old whisper-natter. In fact, I actively search fellow students out, occasionally doing the odd lap of 2nd floor Arts and Social Studies to find friends and procrastinate some more. But that’s where the fun stops.

Occasionally when in the library, I get the urge to read a book (as you do in a library). “Oh fiddlesticks”, I say to myself, when Voyager Library Catalogue informs me that what I want is on loan, and that the book is in fact overdue. Two weeks later, said book is still in the clutches of that spiteful being, and I end up shouting blue murder at library staff that I ‘desperately need that book’. Why are they not turning up to this person’s door with an AK47, demanding that it be returned?

The other issue that slightly gets my goat is this ‘missing’ book scenario.

Ever fancied reading a journal, say, issue 32 of volume 5 of West European Social Policy? Off you skip down to the journal section, to find every issue number but 32. Where is it? I protest. “Oh, It’s missing. And has been for some time apparently”, the woman informs me.

How very helpful. I could go on forever, but for all the books that there seem to be in that place it’s amazing how little I actually come away with.

I

don’t know what your house is like but I assure you, mine is like a zoo! So even though it seems like the library is crowded, noisy and busy, it’s a lot better than trying to write your essay while Pain-in-the-arse No. 1 cooks loudly in the kitchen, and Pain-in-the-Arse No. 2 starts hounding you for money again.

Yes, I find the panic of other people in ASSL somewhat comforting. Everyone is just as panicked. Ok, everything you need has been taken by some 3rd year Pain-In-TheArse, who thinks that their work is more important, even though 2nd and 3rd year is worth the same! The tense atmosphere and looming presence of books and casual smart arses larking around asking “oh how are you doing, I’ve done all mine now,” keeps you on your toes. And keeps you working. No matter what.

Sure, the lack of books is frustrating sometimes, and the constant struggle to plug laptops into the plugpoints in ASSL is a pain. But most of the other libraries are a bit quieter.

I’m not sharing though, just in case you all decide to steal my secret quiet spot.

If you are swamping the library though this week and next, and can’t stand how busy it is, well maybe next year you should spend more time in there throughout the year instead of hanging out in the Taf. Maybe I don’t find it so bad because I’m not rushing to find every single book on my reading list, because I did that back in January. Everyone gets stressed, even me, and I’m not getting enough work done, but no good comes of complaining to other people that you can’t find that really essential coursebook two days before the exam when you should have looked months ago.

“Oh, it’s missing and has been for some time apparently”

Kath Petty

06 /debate@gairrhydd.com

Lara Edwards

header

sectionname@gairrhydd.com /

00

fashion

M.A.C. hearts FAFI The beginning of March saw MAC launch its new line - Fafi. Inspired and co-created by the French graffitti artist herself. Think dress-ups of fantastical characters from the eclectic citites of Tokyo, Paris and New York, as can be seen in Lily Allen and Mark Ronsons version of Oh My God, where Fafi created a Fafinette version of Miss Allen.

It is all about being bold with the eyes and girly with the lips. With the Fafi look you can be as out there as you want creating a new character for yourself.

La Bella Vita Top trends to make you beautiful this summer...

fashion@gairrhydd.com /

09

fashion

Be Bold It might seem like a daunting prospect, but bright colours are in this summer. It’s a great way to instantly add some energy to any look. Invest in a pallette and experiment with different colours. If you do go heavily coloured-up on the eyes, make sure that your lips don’t clash or you might look a bit too similar to Koko the clown.

10 / fashion@gairrhydd.com

fashion

Spring Fresh Be fresh and princess perfect.

Go all Barbie minus the trash.

Minimum eye make-up. Think white eyeshadow, with a dash of a few other pastel shades, rose tinted cheeks and finish off with pink pout. Natural and spring fresh.

Photography: Natalia Popova Model: Amy Harrison Make Up & Words: Leah Eynon, Mariam Bashorun

fashion@gairrhydd.com /

11

gay

pint of stella OR

pulling a fella?

Do your friends tell other people ‘he just hasn’t found the right girl yet? (re: your lack of female attention?) Have you omitted the ‘Interested In’ field on your FB profile? Basically, do you reckon you might be gay? Take this quiz and see if you’re destined for footy and pubs or boy booty in clubs...

1.

After much deliberation, you’ve decided to treat yourself to a new application on Facebook. Do you opt for –

2.

You’re in a club scouting out potentials and spot someone who looks promising. How do you greet them?

a. Daily Babe b. Scrabulous c. LOLcats d. What Disney Princess are you?

a. b. c. d.

‘I don’t come here that often or nuffink...’

‘What are you having to drink?’

‘Hiya babez, howz you?’

‘What Disney Princess are you?’

4.

3.

What is your pet of choice? a. A Great Dane named Rhagfyr b. A hamster named Megatron c. A springer spaniel named January d. An Arabian Saluki named Jasmine

5.

A friend’s birthday looms – fancy dress compulsory.

What outfit do you and your friends whack on?

a. Whatever involves the least effort b. Army boys c. Army boyz d. Whatever involves dressing like your Disney princess

What ‘I Have Never’ are you most likely to own up to?

a. I have never pulled someone b. I have never pulled someone of the same sex c. I have never pulled someone of the same sex today d. I have never pulled someone of the same sex today during a synchronised swimming class

12 / gay@gairrhydd.com

gay

6.

What will be the next film you see?

a. Forgetting Sarah Marshall b. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull – Harrison Ford is a badass c. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull – Harrison Ford has a nice ass d. I’ve already set up camp outside Cineworld in anticipation of SATC: The Movie.

7.

John-Paul and gay vicar on ‘Oaks – your thoughts?

8.

a. What’s ‘Oaks? b. I’m glad to see new realms opened up on mainstream TV c. I’m glad to see new realms of potential cock in John-Paul’s life d. I’m obliged to record every episode for research purposes

Your friends suggest you go and see a musical, how do you react?

9.

What is your most used abbreviation?

a. Dramatically in Bridgend with five feet of rope b. Pleasantly at the prospect of losing yourself in the melody for 90 minutes c. Pleasantly at the prospect of fancying various members of the pseudostraight cast d. ‘I CLOSED MY EEEEYYYYYSSSS, DREW BACK THE CUUURTAAAIIN…’

a. PES b. PS3 c. STD d. OMGLMAOTTMLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!

10.

You’re at the bar ordering your favourite drink, what do you ask the male bar tender?

a. ‘Fosters please, mate’ b. ‘Fosters top please, mate’ c. ‘Take off your top please, mate’ d. ‘Rozmopolitan, babes!’

Answer time...

Mostly As It’s all looking pretty much straight down your end to be honest. You like to complain about overly camp guys that give gays a bad name.

Mostly Bs

Whether you’re a straight gay guy or a gay straight guy, you seem to embrace all modes of thought in a healthy manner. You like to complain about overly camp guys that give gays a bad name.

Mostly Cs

For you, it seems the arrow is pointing significantly in the direction of bi-curious butterfly and perhaps more.

You like to complain about overly camp guys that give gays a bad name.

Mostly Ds

The jig is up. Limp that wrist, cock that hip, start sashaying. You like to complain about overly camp guys that give gays a bad name. gay@gairrhydd.com /

13

features

revision Revision is the buzz word for dread, panic and self-loathing. If you haven’t done enough, you can guarantee that your best friend has learnt the entire module... but don’t worry, Gillian Couch is here with a few tips and techniques to ease the burden...

B

efore even contemplating revision, and before you crack on with that assignment that you thought was due in more weeks than one, make sure you prepare. I’m sure someone once told me that the key to success was in the preparation; or at least it’s definitely something I try and work by.

Find a way to work that suits you.

There’s no point just rolling out of bed and sitting at your desk for hour upon hour if you can’t begin your day without a shower/breakfast/cup of tea, or whatever else your morning ritual includes. So continue to do these things, but be wary of creating new rituals in the art of procastination. I have been victim of this; never before have I been so good at going to the gym. Equally, never have I spent so long in there. I may be fitter, but all this time wasting is not good for my academic well-being.

Make sure that the environment you work in is going to put you in the right frame of mind. Attempting to balance your laptop on one leg, your folder on the other and holding a book in each hand, while watching Eastenders on the sofa probably isn’t going to maximise your learning potential. Instead try and create an area, such as a desk (they’re there for a reason), where you can leave your notes out, to pick up and leave at your convenience. This will save a lot of time, if you don’t have to tidy up each time you want to call it a day.

Timetables are amazing. When teachers said at school and college “make a revision timetable”, they were onto something. By planning

14 / features@gairrhydd.com

out how much time you have before your next deadline/exam, you can see how best to utilise your time. This may sound obvious, but quite often dates are overlooked or ignored, only to cause some sort of seizure when it dawns on you just how soon that essay is due. Do this in advance, too; if you plan out the next eight weeks, you can see where your commitments are and what free time you will have.

For those first years out there, it’s all too easy to say “I only need 40%” and not worry about all this, but it’s also easy to slip under the 40% margin, and no-one likes resits. So, if you must only do the bare minimum, at least aim for 50%.

In the midst of exam and deadline fever, meals are a lifesaver. Not only

do you get to eat, you get to remember that you do have friends, and they still remember you. Make the most of the opportunity to socialise and to take a break from your hard work.

Simon

features

Kathleen

Index car ds:

These are a They’re als great way to make facts and tho good if you want tobrief notes. ings by you b r friends. e tested on

: Colour coding

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The noise V S silence de bate: Some peo

ple in absolate si learn best with backgrou in shared houlence. As not everyone is nd noise. Some people le halls; people ses when people tr y and the same, tensions can o arn best to learn with left, right, above and be work. This is particularly ften rise sible solution dif ferent noise levels. Butlow you, will probably all bad in don’t fear, th m >ear plugs... s out there: ere are some anage th pose especially if th y’re not glamorous, b u t e th ‘band’ upsta end. irs insist on p ey might help your sanity ractising Mr >headphone Brightside ho, s. .. if ur on y o u p re headphones fer working w a re h il e a y w o is u e li c st hoice, to avo the kitchen. id facing anyen to music, maybe >compromise irate housem ates in agree with ea... if you don’t mind a bit o c f h n other what m oise amidst th ditions. If you usic is lik e quiet, be avoided la’ve discussed the matter ed by you all under work why not in the first pla in ter on. Hope ce, arguments g confully. should

If you’re still concerned about your exams and deadlines, why not have a look at the Cardiff homepage? www.cf.ac.uk has an entire section dedicated to help and advice that might be helpful. Also, this website has hundreds of past exam papers for each school and module which are invaluable for exam revision. features@gairrhydd.com / 15

features

Let’s stay together

Ellie Woodward discusses choice, relationships, dating and sex and asks if monogomy has become something to laugh at

I

n my opinion, the distinct lack of monogamous relationships in our society today comes down to coffee. No, seriously, hear me out. Grande, tall, skinny, cappuccino, frappucino, latte...entering Starbucks means confronting an endless set of choices to satisfy our wants. For many, it seems, why should dating be any different? Polygamy merely reflects our greed.

We seem to have convinced ourselves that far from being unashamedly promiscuous, ‘seeing’ people simply adds to the variety of life.

With so many choices to be made it appears that decisions about our love lives are at the bottom of our list of priorities – and coffee at the top. ‘Shall I go for Paul? Or Steve?

Or Jack?’ Can’t be bothered/too tired/too stressed? Hell, date them all! Enter into a relationship with Jack, ‘see’ Steve on the side, and if there’s any time left, Paul’s always available. Until you’ve had that ‘exclusivity’ chat, it doesn’t matter, right? Wrong!

Since when did we require more than one date to satisfy our needs?

Nothing can come of multiple dating other than confusion - and I don’t just mean about who it is we’re supposed to be seeing on any given night.

I almost entered into this casual state of affairs with a guy when he suggested we ‘see’ each other. Being somewhat naive, I assumed that ‘seeing’ each other was alternative terminology for being with each

16 /features@gairrhydd.com

other – in a relationship. It wasn’t until a male friend said to me a few days later, ‘I never thought you’d be the kind to see someone’ that I deduced what it meant: sex with each other with the freedom to be with other people.

For the commitment, phobe, Chandler Bings of us, it makes perfect sense – no strings attached freedom with the chance to be with other people knowing that whatever happens is inconsequential. For the rest of us, however, it seems that this kind of relationship is undeniably pointless. Why be with someone if, ultimately what you want is to be single?

Worryingly, it seems that we have got to the stage where monogamy is something to be laughed at. It seems that for women, equality has given us the impression that we have some right to more: more money, more possessions, more men. But men are just as much to blame – the eternal teenager inside them all means the irresistible attraction of getting their jollies from several different women, whilst – best of all, getting away with it – causes polygamy under the label, ‘seeing people.’

However, whilst we find ourselves racing from the beds of date one, date two and date three, we can’t expect anything other than promiscuity if a potential Mr/Miss Right doesn’t even get the chance to prove themselves before being booted out of bed and seen as

another notch on the increasingly dented bed post.

Call me old fashioned, but what happened to courtship - going on dates without the expectation of an orgasm at the end of the night? It allows us to distinguish those who want a relationship from those who want only one thing, and if it’s not from you, it’ll be from one of the other lovelies they’re ‘seeing.’

Let’s face it – these relationships are based on sexual performance and nothing else. At least with one night stands you know what you’re getting yourself in for, but being ditched by someone who is ‘seeing’ other people, means you can almost guarantee that these people are more attractive and more skilled between the sheets than you. Some may say that seeing people – literally – allows inhibitions to fade, but surely being ditched in this sexual, competitive way instils deep insecurity?

It seems that we have one simple choice to make: do we want to be single or not? Clearly, if we want a relationship where we can say ‘They’re with me’ and not ‘They’re with half of the UK’ then it should be monogamy or the highway. But if the exclusivity talk sends you running for the hills, then don’t be with anyone. Have fun experimenting without being torn between partners – after all, gluttony never did anyone any good.

features

Under the influence Instead of saying all of your goodbyes...

Chris Rogers explains why Flaming Lips frontman, Wayne Coyne, provides an alternative to the tormented rockstar

“W

hen you go home and tell all your friends about this gig”, shouts the Flaming Lips frontman, Wayne Coyne, to the spectators at Hyde Park, “I want you to tell them that I descended down from the heavens onto the crowd inside a giant space bubble.”

A statement that was an unimportant distance from the truth, considering that Wayne did indeed travel across the surface of raised hands inside a giant inflatable ball. The claim that he joined the crowd from the heavens was believable enough to those who saw his jubilant smile through the transparent plastic of his ‘space bubble’.

This stunt is very much part of the parcel with Wayne Coyne, who, when asked in an interview what inspired him to do it, replied “well, Thom Yorke’s not going to do it, and someone ought to.”

The profession of rockstar, for Wayne Coyne, appears to be much like being a small child who has had all his birthdays and Christmases for the rest of his life rolled into one day; an analogy that seems more literal when he appears on stage. Members of the crowd are employed to dress as animals and an array of stage props are present - which include giant pink hands, guns that shoot multi-colored sillystring and a Jesus hand-puppet - to name but a few.

What all this bizarrely seems to represent, is Wayne’s philosophy on life; namely, that nothing happens after we die, so we all might as well make the most of our time when we are alive. This, in turn, appears to incur is a rejection of the stereotypical alienated, and tormented rockstar

image.

To make the assumption, however, based upon their flamboyant exterior, that the Flaming Lips are not to be taken seriously is a grave mistake. Underneath the pink explosions of paint that are scattered across their album covers and artwork, there are signs of great maturity, both musically and lyrically. The song, Feeling Yourself Disintegrate, for example, hauntingly and beautifully reminds us of are materialistic existence and the fact that we

message: “instead of saying all of your goodbyes, let them know you realize that life goes fast, it’s hard to make the good things last, you realize the sun doesn’t go down, it’s just an illusion caused by the world spinning round.”

It is Wayne’s Coyne’s refusal to take life for granted that is his most inspirational aspect, together, of course, with his ability to descend from the heavens, like a prophet, inside a giant space bubble.

will all, one day, grow old.

This theme is continued in one of the Lips’ most famous songs, entitled: Do you Realise, which bluntly asks: “Do you realise that everyone we know, someday, will die?”, an incredibly morbid line, which, with the following statement, reveals its

features@gairrhydd.com /

17

interviews

An eccentric, crazy and extremely nice individual with impeccable vintage style: Lucy is currently touring the country, making music with her caterpillar...

W

alking into this interview, I must admit, I was a little was pessimistic. After such an influx of annoying female folk artists of late, I was hoping the person lived up to the music.

Seeing Lucy sitting at the table, beaming smile and tucking into her broth, I was relieved. Off the mark, she seemed genuine.

“I'm in a world of my own! I'm a right nutter!” she laughs. “I sit there pulling faces to myself all day just for the fun of it!” she says.

Towering over the petite Mancurian songstress, we move the conversation to the quieter location of barfly's 'green-room'.

“It’s just horrible, I hate living out of a suitcase' she says looking around at the grimy walls, trying hard to ignore the lingering smell of ammonia. Her thick Manc accent catches me a little off guard because it's not as noticeable in her

songs.

“I just sing as I do but I do get more Northern when I go down South,” she explains, adding that the last thing she wants is to be classed as Oasis.

She's certainly proud of her roots though and decided against a move to London because she “didn't want to be put in that category” she explains: “I can’t stand people that act London -it just winds me up and I'm truthful about it! I don't like Kate Nash, Laura Marling...”

I ask whether, like these London unmentionables, she went to stage school.

“I went to college and did music... just a music college but I dropped out in my first year” she proudly concludes.

18 / interviews@gairrhydd.com

She objected to being told how to write. “There’s no specific way how to write songs. It makes someone different if they write differently!

So I guess I left college and was a rebel!”

Beaming smile she recounts how she turned to a career in fashion design and explains how opening her shop was a natural progression.

“It's not my own make, it's vintage.

But I've been collecting vintage

interviews since I were young and my collection was like a shop, so it's like my giant wardrobe,” she laughs Like Lucy, the lyrics are very happy and rather quirky, quite a change from the emotional folk which overshadows the scene.

“I want to make everyone happy.

I want people to smile when I’m on stage- its like the way forward really now.”

Lucy certainly is different from the rest. Just interviewing her, I can't help but smile.

She tells me about this guy she was playing with last night: “He'd be like this song is about this girl that left me and it's like 'flippin eck!' get me a bucket! It's just likelighten up!

Maybe you'll feel a lot happier- maybe your girlfriend wouldn't leave you if you sang about happier things!”

Lucy likes to go against the grain.

Playing in huge venues is not one of her priorities; in fact she's adverse to the idea but wishes she had more creative control at her gigs.

She excitedly tells me of a single launch she's planned in Manchester “I'm gonna get my stock from my shop and we’re gonna have table cloths and tea buns!”

Lucy always goes to a lot of trouble. She likes to create her own little world. She even insisted on making the album sleeves for her last release, Lucy's opinion, all by herself! “I think it’s the way forward nowadays,” she says Described as a refreshing opposite, I ask her why she thinks this is. “I think I've got more character.

Laura Marling's face is down to the floor all the time and I don't want to see her face because it makes me

miserable. So I think you've got to be funny and laugh about it.”

“On stage I’m just the same.

I'm stupid and I want to get the audience really involved. I want to be like with them. like family!” She cackles crazily.

With a packed tour schedule, she frantically travels from place to place with her friend and her red vintage suitcase named Casey but the journeys have been far from smooth.

“It’s bin smack'eds on the flippin' train asking me where I get my laptop from.”

Recently playing at the infamous Camden Crawl, she was asked what the future of music is and replied: “ The future’s to get your hair cut and stop wearing eyeliner and being seen!”

She's certainly an honest individual and hopes that she's an inspiration to girls. “When ya stressed have a glass a wine, you know what I mean! Get pissed! Fail your degree!” She laughs.

In no rush to write an album, Lucy is quite happy just waiting for the right time. “I've just been too tired and I’ve been making too many animals” she says.

“I’m in a world of my “I've made a sausage dog, an owl, own! I’m a right nutter! which is gonna be on stage with me I've made a cat, baby owls, I I sit there pulling faces today, sold them online.” to myself all day just for She has, however, found time to the fun of it!” make a video for her latest release, ‘Lucy's Opinion’, produced by the Earlies, after rejecting one made for her.

“It came back and it was a cat skating on a skateboard with a bandana on and I thought 'you got me completely wrong'! That’s why you're better off doing stuff on your own.”

Keep an eye out for this petite eccentric Manc, whose single, ‘Lucy's Opinion’ is out now.

interviews@gairrhydd.com /

19

interviews

Following the sucess of hit single ‘Time to Pretend’ and with an upcoming support slot with Radiohead, MGMT chat about how it feels to surfing the wave of psychedelic success How’s the tour going?

Yeah we’ve been out for like 3 and a half weeks now. It’s been really relaxed, more so than last time because we’ve got our own bus driver so we can travel wake up and just walk a round a little bit in cities.

Since we’re in a university building I wanted to ask you a bit about your time at university because you were an all a uni band?

We didn’t play shows outside out school except for a couple. But yeah there was a lot of crap we got out of our system. Each of us were in four or five different bands. It was really different to what we were doing now you know. More electronic and lots of rock stuff and psychedelic music.

And in high school I went through a big prog stage. I guess sometimes i think I’m still in a prog stage.

And it’s true you used to cover the ghostbusters theme tune?

Yeah we did it once at our first show. I had a drum machine and guitar pedal and keyboard and we just played it for while. We should do it again so people can see it’s not that great. Some things sounded a lot cooler looking back!

:::TIME::: TO PRETEND

You prodiced the album with the the Flaming Lips producer Dave Fridman. How important was his role in the album?

We’d already done a lot of production stuff when we went out to do the album. We had a good idea of the direction we were going in some weren’t surprised when we got into the studio that things didn’t really change. We were more refining the direction we already went in. We actually used some of the demos in production.

And Dave was able to make the plans we had made and work with them. Only one song we did was done all in the studio. I think in the demos we roughed out the production even though we didn’t have good equipemet so they were kind of just sketches of how we wanted things to sound and obviously Dave is much better at recording and mixing than we are. And we would just say, ‘Hey we want it to sound like this but like really good.’

You have a load of cool supports like with Of Montreal and soon to be supporting Radiohead. How do those experiences affect you?

Yeah Radiohead that’s really crazy I’m really nervous about that cos we’re really big Radiohead fans.

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But we’re kind of friends with Of Montreal so that’s a little bit different. They were kinda like helping us out and it was a lot of fun but it’s pretty different to having to open for someone like Radiohead.

What do you think you’d say to Thom Yorke?

I dunno man I’d just be like … [shys away and buries head] “hey!”.

So kind of like in Wayne’s world with Alice Cooper?

Yeah man exactly!

It’s quite interesting you’re supporting Radiohead because when they started out they signed to a major label and you’ve signed to Sony a major label. Do you ever feel weird or like there’s a tension between what you do and what they want?

Or do you get complete artistic control?

Yeah there’s some weird moments but we’ve kind of figured out how to get what we want pretty much in most scenarios and it’s been relatively successful for like our first album so they’re happy and not like fucking with us.

That’s interesting especially be-

cause the albums got loads of different styles and you’re not being forced to box yourself.

interviews

Yeah you know they’re not making us try and go in any particular direction.

Do you still find it weird on ‘Time to Pretend’ singing about taking the piss out of fame when it was kind of like the song that got you successful and kind of famous?

Yeah it’s really weird. Although it kind of helps us because it means we can never really get away from that irony and having a sense of humour so we’re forced not to take ourselves to seriously.

So it’s not gonna become your ‘Creep’ then?

No I think ‘Kids’ could become our creep. It’s like a song we play that really doesn’t fit with out set.

But I heard Prince played ‘Creep’ at Coachella. I didn’t get to see it... I was on the bus… out of my mind. I dunno... maybe we should cover it when we support them like just first song play ‘Creep’.

Lately we’ve been wanting to do dir ty rock and roll When you first started out, who were the bands you wanted to rip off?

When we first started out we weren’t playing music similar to now, I mean the songs were like ‘Time To Pretend’ and ‘Kids’. ‘Kids’ was the first one we wrote and I think lately we’ve been wanting to do dirty rock and roll. But we got really into ‘Royal Trucks’ and ‘Spaceman 3’ and the ‘Jacobites’ and a lot of classic rock stuff like David Bowie and Neil Young. Yeah so all the big ones basically.

Who are you listening to at the moment?

I don’t really listen to new music although I’m sure there’s loads of good stuff. I listened to Quick Staturen for the frist time and they were really cool. They used to be in Light Magic, a Brooklyn band, but I mainly listen to like Neil Young and stuff from the 80s.

Michael Bateson-Hill

interviews@gairrhydd.com /

21

travel

On a wing and a prayer:

the Hitch Diaries This Easter saw hundreds of students defy contemporary ‘wisdom’ and hitch-hike across the continent in the name of charity. Lloyd Griffiths recounts his journey to Morocco: warts, perv’s, carpets ‘n’ all…

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here are two cardinal sins from which all others spring: Impatience and Laziness” according to Franz Kafka. On that basis, most of my first year has been as sinful as Max Moseley’s bedroom habits, and as a result, me and four of my mates from Cardiff decided to undertake the epic task of hitch hiking to Morocco from little ol’ Talybont in search of a cure for these first year blues. The charity Link Community Development has every year since 1992 organised the Morocco (and Prague) hitch hikes for intrepid students who want to raise money for African school kids while blazing the open road to fun, faith and freedom. A pretty daunting task I admit, and one my parents were slightly sceptical about (I’m sure they would have driven me to Algeciras themselves if I had let them!)

And so, on a nervous first morning, we set out for the open road, the sun in our eyes and the cold wind on our backs, gently nudging us to our first lift, which as it turned out was my Dad, as getting off Colum Road was a nightmare (much to Gareth and Simon’s annoyance as we drove past them, many expletives resonating). As we flew towards our next lift, Graham, a rambling and kind trucker who had James Bond slogans and pic’s splashed across his jazzy truck (which has been in the seminal trucking magazine, Truckers Monthly, none other). His early talk about his

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truck was slightly daunting to three hitching virgins, but the journey flew by as his kind demeanour shone through all the way to Southampton.

Wonderful, we were nearly at Portsmouth with hours in hand before the ferry! Magic, this hitch malarkey was easy, until we found ourselves walking along the motorway to the next service station, which is (obviously!!) illegal, and we got screamed at.

After two hours of waiting, the police came and we were told to bugger off the motorway, which we duly obliged to, glad we weren’t spending time at her Majesty’s pleasure.

After avoiding almost definite sexy times with the grizzly men, we nearly encountered the same situation in Burgos Finally we reached Portsmouth and got the night ferry with Si and Gareth, meeting some hitchers who had a free lift to Bilbao on a ferry (It turned out to be untrue, we met them in Morocco and they said he had lied!), and some Oxford students. It was easy enough to spot those on the hitch, everyone wore the recognisable dark green t-shirts with a picture of Africa and a cheesy thumbs up on it. We were lucky enough to find a short lift from a young guy who lived in Le Havre and

we made it for our first taste of so called wonderful cuisine- a couple of Euros for a piece of bread, butter and jam would be the tale of breakfast woe throughout the hitch! Sniping anyone who looked English, we were lucky enough to find a not-sokeen couple, and we virtually forced our way into the back, with our bags on top of us, we could hardly see and my leg felt like it would fall off from numbness. It was a massive hitch, permeated by friendly chat about their kids, and Jess’ ever constant saying “You know what I fancy now?...A cup of tea.”

So we made it all the way to Bordeaux, in less than five hitches!

A good night’s rest followed with another epic lift the next day- all the way to near Burgos in Spain from a kind couple; they were from Slovenia and Argentina! Not that a massive lift was seemingly kind enough, as we proceeded to stay at their flat for two whole days and nights!

We drank, smoked, watched dodgy Spanish T.V., had the most epic Easter meal I have ever seen and were generally treated like hitching Gods for a weekend.

At this point we were feeling (a) pleased that we were destroying Simon and Gareth in the race to Morocco and (b) thinking that the hitching was easier and almost as quick as getting a bus or train! However, drama comes and goes while travelling as quickly as the next lift, and we found our next lift in the snow and dark, but not before a seriously dodgy encounter. We swaggered into

travel a roadside ‘bar’ and met some Portuguese truckers who agreed to take us, but we agreed only with supreme worry that they may have ‘interfered’ with us. This led to an interesting conversation by their truck as they tried to split up our group and take ‘us round the back’ of their truck.

After avoiding almost definite sexy times with the grizzly men, we nearly encountered the same situation in Burgos, getting a taxi away from one lift who began to phone his mates and stare at us creepily as we walked away.

After a night of locking our hostel door we quickly reconsidered how easy the hitch was, and headed off with trepidation the next morning, finding a lift through the snow-capped mountains surrounding Madrid and onwards through to Cordoba that night, with the nicest Spanish vet retelling Spanish folk stories to us along the way.

While most people were incredibly friendly, we sometimes found their nonchalance with which they picked us up disconcerting. The guy who took us to Cordoba (a four hour drive) barely looked up as he accepted to take us. This kindness continued as we quickly hopped to Malaga, slumming it in the tent before the final attempt to reach Maroc! One lift from the shortest Belgian man ever, an eventing instructor, who spoke about fifty languages, and we were at our destination: Algeciras, only a short swim from the golden coast of Afrique.

For those of you who think that at this point, the near-rapes, the excitement and the culture blast finished, then Morocco provided an equally vibrant explosion of colours, smells and people. Arrival in Tangier (like Port Talbot only smellier) was quickly followed by a bus journey with some newly befriended hitchers to the beautiful mountain town of Chefchaouen, where every building is painted a brilliant sky blue.

We got to see the awesome sight of the sun descending behind the Rif Mountains from atop a derelict Mosque while the call to Prayers echoed across the city.

We sped to Fès next, where we took the daunting decision of throwing away our own Fes’, which had been annoying us since we began.

The irony was too beautiful not to do it. We managed to procure possibly

Lloyd and crew the best place to stay - while some crew from Edinburgh searched the streets of the ‘new’ part of town, we headed to the more picturesque and interesting Medina, although it was somewhat more dark and intimidating at three in the morning. Luckily a kind local guy helped us out.

Although sceptical, we decided that his offer of a “house of hospitality” was too good to refuse. And we were right, as he had shown us to his family’s carpet warehouse. It had 25-year-old camel fur rugs laid out for us, as well as a Spanish guitar to pluck, and mint tea to sip. Needless to say, it was a good decision!

Next stop - Marrakech! A town of more sights and sounds, smells and odours than you can imagine.

The main square is a vibrant mix of snake charmers, boxing matches, mini golf (!) and amazing food. We wandered aimlessly for nights on end here, being followed by ‘interesting characters’ and surrounded by an amalgam of heat battered mosques, winding alleyways and bright colours. The food vendors made their best efforts to persuade us to eat. You may think the sound of a Vicky Pollard impression is good, or regurgitated Morrisons and Tesco’s slogans? But no, we were won over by the incredible, beautiful sound of someone shouting Welsh phrases at me! “Iechyd Da! Croeso Marrakech.” Yes, a Moroccan man actually knows more Welsh than this Welshman does. Needless to say we ate from his restaurant.

Refreshed and embarrassed by these encounters, we opted to see if the Sahara could finish off our trip on a high. By this time, me, Jess and Emma had probably had five or

Thumb

Destination: C hefchaouen

six showers between us throughout our whole time in Morocco, so the trip at least gave us more of an excuse for our smelly nature. With thoughts turning towards heading home, it was one last experience, one that we won’t forget. The best bit was undoubtedly looking at the stars in the night. You know it is a good sky when you barely even see the darkness amongst the glimmering stars. I gave myself and Emma a bit of a scare when I left Jess on the dunes with a Berber guy, nearly breaking my face running in the dark to try and find her as she let out a nervous cry of my name - an appropriate end to our trip really.

Amazing fun, nearly dying, nearly getting ‘interfered with’, and getting my shorts so full of the Sahara I had to dispose of them at Marrakech airport.

Fun times.

travel@gairrhydd.com /

23

travel

travel stereotypes: The ultra efficient explorer A

s the plane touches down, Hans gathers his belongings in his new Karrimor day sack, double checks his document wallet is in the front pocket (papers filed in the order he will be needing them) and quietly awaits his arrival at destination X. The air hostess wishes him a pleasant holiday, he shows his passport at immigration and boards his taxi to the youth hostel booked five months previously.

Hans checks in at reception and hands his passport over for safekeeping along with his 100 euros emergency funds, for use in the event of a crisis only.

Not wanting to waste a minute of his holiday, he swiftly unpacks his bag, puts his pyjamas under the pillow, toiletries in the bathroom, pulls on a clean sweater and he’s out the door.

Religiously clutching his travel guide he opens it at the first page marked with a post-it slip, blue for museum, (green for parks, red for eateries and yellow for churches). There is not a minute to lose so Hans consults the map and timetable and boards the tram en route to the National gallery. The standard tour is cheaper but for an extra 3 euros you can have Dilemma. Economy versus

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ILLUSTRATION: KEVIN LEWIS education. Decision made - you can’t put a price on culture. If he substitutes that side salad at lunch then he can keep within budget. Swiftly strolling through each room listening to that tinny voice in his ear telling him about Impressionism, Expressionism, Surrealism, Hans keeps an eye on his watch. So many things to do, so little time, but if he schedules accordingly and manages his time effectively, he should be able to see all the main sights.

By the evening, one third of his total ‘must see’ list has been crossed off. A good day by all means. But if he wants to get an early start

(more to fit in and you beat those ghastly midday crowds) then it’s just a single pint before bedtime. Alarm set, head down, mental check of the next days itinerary and sleep.

By the end of his weekend Hans has experienced the best city X has to offer and it’s time to head back home. The guide book has served its purpose well and those precious post-it markers have proved invaluable. Can you imagine the time that would have been lost if those crucial preparations hadn’t been made?

The taxi is ordered by the ever so friendly reception staff; the flight leaves at 5.47pm, not for another six hours, but you wouldn’t want to be late now would you... KP

blind date

Kiss and Tell...

Need a little lovin’ inspiration? Blind Date examines the ins and outs of our obsession with other people’s sex lives

S

student loan application, let alone practice my whipped he fists herself and everything,’ said my housecream and PVC nurse outfit routine. mate in hushed tones. ‘I’ve never read anything Our obsession with other peoples’ sex lives can be like it!’ traced back to the heady days of the nineties, when we Yes, most conversations with my girlfriends end up all really wanted to watch Sex and the City, but were just like this, but this time we were, at least, discussing a little bit too young. literature. The Intimate Adventures of a London Call Back then it was actually innovative television which Girl was our muse, and as we huddled together and had four ho’s -or ‘independent women’- instead of checked for eavesdroppers we pondered its various words of wisdom. In respect for the faint hearted among Belle’s measly one. Carrie Bradshaw, chief sex advenus I won’t, however, be imparting that wisdom here. Your turer, would lie around in a suitably unsuitable outfit and write about her most recent shagadelic experiences. eyes would pop out and your brain would implode and, Out with journalistic integrity and in with Rampant well, my parents might read this one day.

Rabbit addictions, homemade porn and that infamous After mulling over the juicy bits we got to wondering ‘you’re breaking up when you’re still inside me?’ mowhy this Belle character would actually want to impart ment. quite so much filth. Surely she earned enough But hell, who’s complaining? Not me, that’s for certo keep herself in silk stockings tain – I’d love to say I’m writing this whilst and whips without needing to add lounging in a hideously expensive en‘writer’ on the end of her CV? Or semble, dangling my Jimmy Choo stiletto was this more of a self preservaI don’t even have as I ponder last night’s brief encounter. tion thing: therapy for the seatime to fill out my But alas alack; all my nice clothes are soned prostitute? in the wash and my last brief encounter The answer, of course, is supply loan application, was with my boyfriend and a bottle of and demand. The book was a bestlet alone practice wine (in the drinking sense that is, not seller, scandalising everyone from in the Belle du Jour ‘household objects middle class women of a certain my PVC nurse outfit as sex toys’ sense). age to their sweaty routine...

So yes, none of us schoolboy sons. are immune to a little And don’t forget fantasy life indulthe eye opening ITV gences, and we’re adaptation. Their all the bread and execs must have been butter of those able creaming their BHS to provide them. But smalls when Billie don’t let the media be donned the crotch-less your only sources of knickers to play Belle. scandal, go and creBut why do we have ate your own. I’m not such an obsession suggesting you pay with hearing about off your student loan other people’s naughty by sucking toes and bits? Can our own getting creative with lives really be that strap-ons; I just think boring? we can all learn from The truth, my munthe wisdom of Belle dane friends, is that and her friends. As for of course they are. me, I’ll be consulting After all, who wants to the SATC box set for spend their Saturday inspiration. And dustafternoons fulfilling ing off another wine the sadistic fantasies bottle. Joke. of a London bank FF manager? I don’t even have time to fill in my Bedtime story?

“

“

blinddate@gairrhydd.com /

25

food

. f r i e nds

How to feed your...

Dinner Party?

Throwing a Hold on a moment; there’s few thing you need to remember first, says Kath Petty...

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he most important thing to remember is to keep it simple.

The last thing you want is your guests arriving while you’re still scurrying around the kitchen, reducing your madeira sauce, spinning your sugar baskets and whipping your egg whites. You haven’t got fifteen arms. Stick to what you know and do well, and avoid anything fiddly which takes up too much of your time. Besides, your friends will have come to see you, not your best impersonation of a personified Michelin starred restuarant.

One pot dishes such as curries, casseroles, pies and stews work brilliantly. You can always dress them up with side dishes too. If you’re cooking for over five though, I’d avoid pasta, unless you want to give yourself a steam bath come

serving hour. Themes are a great idea too, a Mexican themed dinner could serve chilli or fajitas, sour cream, guacamole, nachos with cheese and salsa and potato wedges. A Middle Eastern Meze theme could serve hummus, flat breads, chickpea stew or cous cous. A curry theme would work too, you could make the curry, but buy the poppadoms, naan bread and chutney from the supermartket or the takeaway if you don’t have time.

Many of these dishes can also be made in advance, saving you from the inevitable burning or curdling situation as you sweat over the stove in those last precious few

minutes before the guests arrive.

A note about wine...If you’ve decided to host a intimate and sophisticated dinner party, you would be well advised to put the cider away for this occasion and crack open a bottle of wine or two. Guest should bring wine as a nice gesture, and if you’re planning on staying sober, half a bottle each should fo the trick.

As a general rule white wine is best suited to pale foods, and reds to rich, darker foods (open the bottle about 15 minutes before you serve to let it breath). Rosé allows you to sit on the fence.

recipe: flatbread

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ILLUSTRATIONS: Roseanna Eastoe

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his recipe is so simple and will impress your guests no end.

You can keep it plain or jazz it up with chopped sun-dried tomatoes, parmesan, rosemary, olives or practically anything you have lying around.

Ingredients: 200g Strong white flour 1/3 tsp dried yeast - you can find this at most supermarkets next to the flour, or at ‘The Spice of Life’ down the road next to Albany Road Tescos 1/2 tsp fine salt 170 ml tepid water 2 tablespoons olive oil, plus extra for greasing.

Method: Put the flour, yeast and salt in a bowl and add the water and oil bit by bit, squidging it between your fingers. Then knead it into a dough, stretching and kneading for 5-10 minutes. Place the dough in a bowl, cover it with a tea towel, and allow the dough to rise for about 45 minutes or longer. Meanwhlie, preheat the over to 230˚C. Knead the dough to knock the air out of it, then divide the dough into four and role out into circles. Place on a greased baking tray in the oven for about 6-7 minutes, when ready the bread will start to colour and bubble.

s

food

Now that the sun is voicing its presence over Cardiff, even if it is

BBQs

sporadically, it’s high time that the came out in force.

Get some mates around, stoke a fire and cook some good food.

the basics

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irst consider the BBQ itself. You can cook small, thin bits of food on the cheap disposable BBQs. But if you want to get serious about this you really have to get your hands on some slightly more substantial equipment. This can be anything from a proper BBQ right down to a grill rack balanced on some piled up bricks. The basic idea is the same.

Pile your charcoal up over a couple of fire lighters. Don’t move the pile until you can see flames have died down and you’re starting to get red hot coals. Then spread them out and leave for a while until you can see the red hot embers poking

out from behind a covering of white.

Resist the urge to cook over flames, you’ll just get cremated food that’s raw on the inside and we all know what you get from eating that.

Leave your cooking rack over the coals for at least ten minutes so that the bars can heat up. This will give you the characteristic bar marks on your food.

vegetables

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ubergines or courgettes work really well. Slice about 1cm thick either across the breadth or along the length, which is easiest to pick up and less likely to fall through the bars. Chop some basil, mint, de-seeded chillies and toss with the grilled veg a glug of olive oil and a splash of balsamic vinegar.

Asparagus can grilled from raw

if brushed with oil. Then dress with lemon juice, olive oil and salt.

Butternut squash, onions, leeks and carrots can all be grilled, but it would be worth pre-boiling carrots or lightly roasting squash in tin foil (either in the oven or on the BBQ) before grilling. Again, sweet vegetables go beautifully with acidic dressing made of balsamic or lemon juice and honey.

meat and fish

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ish is so underrated in this country as BBQ food. Typical antipodean fayre such as prawns are well worth the money. Stick them on skewers and roast over a high heat.

They will go beautifully tossed with garlic butter straight off the grill!

Shellfish such as mussels are great on the BBQ too as is squid.

Trust me on this, it’s well worth it and they’re dead cheap.

Everybody likes a good burger on their BBQ. Get some good mince, a dollop of tomato sauce, a teaspoon of mustard, herbs like marjoram or rosemary, spices like coriander or cumin and plenty of salt and pepper. Mix them all together and squeeze

into tight balls, then flatten to patties. If you have cheap mince then you’ll need some breadcrumbs and egg to stop it falling apart.

But for a real, Fred Flinstone BBQ, get some large chunks of meat. These ideas cost between £5-10 and are well worth it, serving about five people. Get half a shoulder of lamb (get your butcher to butterfly it) and rub it with a mixture of tomato paste, crushed garlic, salt, pepper and paprika. It will take about 5-10 minutes on each side.

Alternatively, try a whopping rib of beef on the bone. Rub it with salt, pepper, crushed garlic and rosemary then continue turning it so that it cooks evenly with out burning. It’ll take a half hour to an hour depending on how cooked you like it.

food@gairrhydd.com /

27

food

A

Vegan

Adventure

Tempted by veganism? Or maybe a bit cynical? Jonathan Evans visited a recent local vegan food fayre to unearth the truth.

W

hen most people think of vegan food the image that usually comes to mind is a bunch of hippy, skinny eco-warriors munching on ‘bland’ celery and carrot sticks. Just to clarify, someone who is vegan eats nothing that is animal in origin. This not only means excluding animal flesh from their diet, it also excludes anything that is produced by an animal too, such as dairy products and even the honey from a bee.

A couple of weeks ago on a Saturday I happened to stumble across a food fayre in Roath serving gourmet vegan food and it was there I discovered the joys of mouth watering animal-free foods. The event was catered for free by eatoutveganwales.org in collaboration with the Cardiff Buddhist Society to remove the misconception that vegans only eat lentils and salad, and make people realise that vegan food properly

catered does not compromise your taste buds. The fayre was not explicitly trying to persuade you to turn vegan or to make the vast majority of us feel in some way guilty about what we eat, which was refreshing, but there were also people on hand to explain the ethics and principles of veganism, for anyone wanting to adopt a Vegan diet. So what, you may ask, do vegans call good food?

The real food highlight from the fayre was the delectable freshly made pizza. This wasn’t just pizza without the cheese, it was a whole new dish that was kind on the taste buds and filling to the hungry stomach. The topping included soya cheese and mock pepperoni made out of soya protein that is found in health food shops. Generous helpings of chopped up black olives and onions on a tomato base made this dish a real gastronomic delight.

A hot homemade vegan ‘chicken’

curry was also delicious and snacks included a vegan pesto on gorgeous French bread and homemade sushi in nori wraps.

And for dessert. the vegan fayre provided a good representative; a sesame seed chocolate dessert was available that gave a lasting aftertaste that was incredibly fresh tasting.

With the expense of gourmet vegan and the preparation needed it is not surprising more people are not vegan, but that should not stop us exploring its wonders once in a while. One thing the fayre has encouraged in me, as a vegetarian, is to include more vegan meals into my diet. Not for moral, ethical or health reasons, but simply for the unique and satisfying taste it gives.

The next fayre in Cardiff is not until September, but until then it is worth exploring further the delights that fresh vegan food can offer.

And if that convinced you, these vegan-friendly eateries might please...

Vegetarian food studio Penarth Road

Embassy Cafe

This well-liked indian vegetarian restaurant serves up lots of vegan options for incredibly cheap prices. Their student tiffin deal is an amazing £3.50 and includes two main dishes, rice, dhal and chapattis, all delivered easily to your door.

Embassy Cafe isn’t a strictly vegan cafe, but serves many vegetarian, vegan and fair trade dishes at very reasonable prices. The staff are friendly and helpful and the food is delicious.

Greenhouse Cafe Woodville Road

This restaurant is sporadically open, which is unfortunate, because the food is delicious and the chef is very understanding about veganism.

Again, it is reasonably priced and the food is locally sourced and fresh.

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Cathays Terrace

Lucky Chef 14, Crwys Road

This chinese take-away serves a large number of beancurd and vegetable dishes, a comfort seeing that most chinese takeaways are awash with meat dishes, and many of them don’t entirely understand veganism.

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A Pink Moon

cult classics

None have ever quite managed to match this timeless Cult Classic in thirty years. Gareth J. S. Mogg tells you why you should let yourself be completely taken away with the one and only Nick Drake

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hen listening back to an old Nick Drake record, the first thing that strikes you is that it simply doesn’t sound old. It could have been written yesterday. And that is one of the many things about Drake that is simply astounding: for he is timeless.

At only 26, the age of his death, Drake created only three studio albums. Yet now, 34 years after he died, he has only risen in profile. It is as if he never really died at all but continued to evolve and inspire. The sound, feel, energy and even the autumnal lyrics are still as relevant today as they ever were.

On starting university, Drake spent six months in France, where he developed his guitar playing skills and created the unique sound that nobody has really managed to imitate. His choice of alternative tuning structure and unorthodox musical time signatures are said to have been developed during his time here. It is also in France that Drake began experimenting with illegal substances, namely marijuana and LSD, which were said to have influenced his earlier lyrical writings.

After being introduced to Joe Boyd, a high ranking official of Island Records, Drake never completed his university course. Instead, he signed to the company and released his first studio album, Five Leaves Later, followed by the more upbeat Bryter Later, and then finally, the unmistakably bare Pink Moon. Each record has it’s own unique approach and style, but it is with Pink Moon that you can almost sense a form of pride with Drake; no padding, no unnecessary extra instrumentation – simply guitar and voice.

Following Bryter Later, Drake felt he was only creating what other people wanted of him, instead of what he wanted, and this is where Pink Moon was born. Nobody really knew about it until Drake had finished recording. He simply walked into the record company offices and left a master copy on the secretaries desk, where it lay unnoticed for some time. Pink Moon is almost a return to the way Drake began; playing and recording in his bedroom, the naked melancholy of each track enough to convey everything he wanted to, without rising string fills and a playful drum beat to strum along to.

You will not experience epic chorus’ and ‘sing-alongs’ with a Nick Drake record, but that is not the point. Each one is entwined almost with nature itself – you can feel the records breathing, as each track slowly fades and the next begins. The songs are the world through Drake’s own eyes, and sometimes it is tragic, and bitter, but more often than not there is a beauty within his records that is beyond description.

At first, you’ll probably find Drake’s voice a little unusual, but after a few seconds, the soothing quality of his vocal expression connects with you, complimenting the lyrics and wistful melody of the guitar.

The startling poeticism and honesty of Place To Be is, in my opinion, one of the most beautiful and perfect songs ever written. The guitar itself sings along with Drake, whose lyrics just flow with his voice: “Now I’m weaker than the palest blue.

Oh so weak, in this need for you.” Each record is like a spring drive through a pine grove with scented air and orange hues, letting your mind lose itself in the landscape he creates.

Drake only lived a short time, and he never found fame in his lifetime. His records, despite positive reviews and a good reception, never sold well. He shied away from live performances and public appearances, feeling that the stage was not where he wanted to express his musical catharsis. Drake was a troubled man; plagued with insomnia and depression, he was almost completely detached from this world.

But Drake is finally getting the recognition and admiration he deserves. Though still not widely known, he’s held as one of the worlds greatest singer-songwriters, with countless individuals finding his music and words, an enchanting inspiration.

cultclassics@gairrhydd.com /

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arts

Decadent A Geometry, luxury and innovation combine to create the unique art movement that is Art Deco.

Tasha Prest-Smith gives an overview

A

n international design movement, Art Deco art (19251939) is a celebration of modern life, combining elegance with functionality. Typical art deco styles involve abstraction, distortion and simplification, and often celebrate the rise of commerce, technology and speed during this period. The movement was most popular throughout Europe during the 1920s, but continued to inspire many aspects of American art and architecture until the end of the 30s. A far-reaching influence, Art Deco design affected the decorative arts: architecture, interior design and industrial design, as well as the visual arts: fashion, painting, the graphic arts and film.

This movement was, in a sense, a jubilant combination of many different styles and movements of the early 20th century, including Russian Constructivism, Cubism, Modernism, Art Nouveau and Ital-

“

The structure of art deco is based on mathematical geometric shapes and the use of highly intense colours

“

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ian Futurism. And unlike many other design movements, which have political or philosophical roots/intentions, Art Deco was purely aesthetic.

The catalyst and initial influence for the art deco movement was a group of French artists, who formed the Society of the Decorator Artists. Founders of this society included Hector Guimard, Eugène Grasset, Raoul Lachenal and Paul Follot. The group’s purpose was to demonstrate French decorative art’s leading position and evolution internationally.

They organized the 1925 Exposition Internationale des Arts Décoratifs et Industriels Modernes, which featured French art and business interests, and from which the word ‘art deco’ derives.

The structure of art deco is based on mathematical geometric shapes, combined with the use of highly intense colours. It was widely considered to be an eclectic form of

arts

Abstraction sleek and stylish modernism, being influenced by a variety of sources.

Among these sources were the so-called ‘primitive’ arts of Africa, Ancient Egypt and Aztec Mexico, as well as machine age or streamline technology such as modern aviation, electric lighting, the radio, the ocean liner and the skyscraper. These design influences were expressed in fractionated, crystalline forms, similar to decorative Cubist and Futurist styles.

Corresponding to these influences, Art Deco is characterized by use of materials such as aluminium, stainless steel, lacquer, inlaid wood, sharkskin and zebra skin. The bold use of stepped forms and sweeping curves (unlike the sinuous, natural curves of art nouveau), chevron patterns and the sunburst motif are typical of art deco. Sunburst motifs, for example, were used in such varied contexts as women’s shoes, radiator grilles and the spire of the Chrysler Building in New York.

Art Deco had an opulent style, and its lavishness is attributed to a reaction to the forced austerity imposed by World War I. Its rich, festive character fitted it for ‘modern’ contexts, including the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, interiors of cinema theatres and ocean liners such as the Queen Mary. Art Deco

was employed extensively throughout America’s train stations in the 1930s, designed to reflect the modernity and efficiency of the train.

The Art Deco style celebrates the machine age through explicit use of man-made materials (typically glass and stainless steel), symmetry and repetition, modified by Asian influences such as the use of silks and Middle Eastern designs. Art Deco designs, for their practicality and simplicity, were also used in the U.S. during the Great Depression, while still portraying a reminder of better times and the ‘American Dream’.

Art Deco slowly lost patronage in the west after reaching mass production, when it began to be criticized as excessively ornate and presenting a false image of luxury.

Eventually, the style was cut short by the austerities of World War II. In colonial countries like India and the Philippines, it became a gateway for modernism and continued to be used into the 1960s. Due to their rich diversity of sources, some of the finest surviving examples of Art Deco art and architecture are found in Cuba and Brazil. Although Art Deco fell out of vogue in the 1940s, it has had small rebirths over subsequent decades. Its designs frequently appear in modern architecture, entertainment and media, whenever a ‘classic retro’ look is sought after.

Main Image: A poster advertising the 25th Annual Art Deco Music Festival in January 2002 in Miami Beach. Inset: an art deco-inspired ceramic tile; a modern, art deco-inspired bathroom. Young Lady in Green Dress

by Tamara de Lempicka (1929)

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books

...reviews...reviews...reviews...reviews...

The Luxe Anna Godbersen Penguin

T

he Luxe is the first in a series of novels by Anna Godbersen about the trials and tribulations of the elite of 19th Century New York City. It was first published last year, but is being released in paperback in July (its sequel, Rumours, will be published in June).

The novel describes the days leading up to the funeral of New York’s favourite society girl, Elizabeth Holland, in autumn 1899. The story is filled with scandal, intrigue, manipulation and the everyday life of polite society, but also gives insight into the hopes, fears and ambitions of the protagonist and the women closest to her. These include her sister, Diana, a wilful and romantic young girl in search

of meaning in a world where keeping up appearances is considered all-important. They also include Penelope Hayes, the daughter of a self-made millionaire and both Elizabeth’s best friend and biggest rival, and Lina Broud, Elizabeth’s personal maid and former childhood friend. Needless to say that in a world where women must marry for security, eligible bachelors are few and far between and four ambitious young women are competing for the favour of those who are available, rivalry, resentfulness and backstabbing are rife.

The Luxe is a well written and well researched book with threedimensional characters and an engrossing story. Although the storyline is very complex, it is surprisingly easy to follow due to the novel’s short chapters and frequent references to previous events. The characters are intricately constructed with coherent backstories, but are nevertheless

difficult to identify and empathise with. This is partly due to the alien social context that they inhabit, but is also due to the fact that none of them are particularly likeable, although this does nothing to diminish the quality of the story.

The Luxe can essentially be classified as chick-lit, but has much more substance than your average Cosmo recommendation.

The author has obviously put a lot of time and effort into researching the historical period and social class she is writing about and this is reflected in the elaborate descriptions of the people, places and events she is presenting for our reading pleasure. The Luxe provides an excellent opportunity for some light but high quality literary escapism and could be the ideal companion for any sunshine related exam recovery time!

Rebecca Ganz

The Ossians Doug Johnstone Penguin

T

he Ossians tells us the story of band members Connor, his twin sister Kate, girlfriend Hannah and best friend Danny. Together, they are ‘The Ossians’, a somewhat idealistic indie band, or at least, that’s what they are in Connor’s eyes. Having been around for a while and having had some success, they embark on a two week tour throughout the remote parts of Scotland.

From the start there is a noticeable difference between Connor and the rest of the band. The others seem to be just pretty normal people. Connor, on the contrary, is the classic ‘suffering artist’. He writes most of the band’s music

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and lyrics, hardly has any sleep and spends most of his days in a haze of pills and speed, topped up with gin which he consumes as if it was water. All this is bound to get him into trouble, and it does indeed. The tour takes him on to discover not only his country, as he intended to, but also himself. Add to this a pile of dead seagulls, drug deals, a deer, and a guardian angel, and you get the story. Oh, and don’t forget the other members of the band.

The book does not offer much new, apart from the fact it tries to combine the traditional sex, drugs and rock’n’roll with some culture, which makes it a pleasant read. You also get to know Connor quite well,

and sometimes you can really empathise with him, which offers a bit of a getaway.

It’s not the greatest book ever, but if you lack some adventure in your own life and you don’t mind quite a bit of swearing, The Ossians definitely offers a nice little escape.

Natalia Popova

books

Everything is Illuminated

The journey of a book onto the big screen can be a difficult one, especially when it is adored by fans the world over. Felicity Whitton tracks the journey of her favourite novel into a brave new world...

I

n 2002 Jonathan Safran Foer released his debut novel Everything is Illuminated to enormous acclaim (even winning the hearts of staple magical realist authors Salman Rushdie and Isabel Allende). Just three years later it was turned into a film starring Elijah Wood. Oh, and the singer from Gogol Bordello is the other main character.

Everything is Illuminated follows Jonathan as he travels from America to the Ukraine in an attempt to find the woman who supposedly saved his grandfather from the Nazis.

Armed with only a faded photograph, Jonathan enlists the help of Alex, the narrator, who runs a business helping American’s find their history that a World War had hidden from them.

As Alex and Jonathan travel across the Ukraine, with Alex’s grandfather and his Seeing Eye bitch, Sammy Davis Junior, Junior, their friendship grows, despite their failure to communicate and cultural differences. In fact, it turns out both of their grandfathers lives interlinked, and, as you might guess from the title, you can’t have a present until you understand your past.

Although it might seem a bit of a

deep subject, Safran Foer approaches the issue of the Holocaust with a distinctive humour, which will have you captivated from the very first page. Alex’s limited English means that the most absurd descriptions crop up every now and then (his favourite word seems to be ‘spleen’).

The way this book is written is its charm, which makes turning it into a film a bit, well, rubbish.

The chapters switch from various generations, which can make it hard to follow, so perhaps choosing to watch the film is the easy, short option. And although the film stays pretty much faithful to the main plot, the details of this book are its magic but, sadly, get completely lost in the film.

Liev Schreiber directed and wrote the screenplay for Everything is Illuminated in 2005. Yet, with a bit part from Safran Foer in the opening scene, it seems the author was more than happy to support the film adaptation.

Unfortunately, the film loses all acknowledgement of the sub-plots, which are intrinsic to the narrative of the book. After all, this is a novel about the importance of the past and devastating effects of war, which gets a little overlooked until

the last few scenes of the film.

Eugene Hutz is pretty much spot on in his portrayal of Alex, whose quirky character makes both the book and film absolutely endearing.

Elijah Wood doesn’t really manage the role of Jonathan with the same conviction. In the book, his character is a bit of a charming recluse, but he comes across quite stilted in the film.

Filmed in the Czech Republic rather than the Ukraine, the film is full of colour and enchanting landscapes, which definitely win it back some points. Personally, I don’t think a film adaptation could ever do justice to this book. To stay entirely faithful to Everything is Illuminated would be to make an epic. Although (and you’ll have to read it to find out why) one of my favourite scenes in the book is when a potato falls on the floor, which is done brilliantly in the film too.

Some say if you see the film before you read the book, you’ll never be able to see the book as it should be. But in the case of Everything is Illuminated, whenever you read this book you’ll realise it wins hands down over the film. That’s if you’ve got the patience.

books@gairrhydd.com /

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DIGITAL \:101101010101000100010 digital

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ummers on the way, finally, and if you haven’t already, its about time you started making plans for how you’ll squander the next few months. Personally I’ll be spending the best part of the solar calendar indifferently serving customers whilst amassing my thripney-bits in the hope of spending one weekend in the unrivalled luxury of a Dutch dockside crane from unusualhotelsoftheworld.com, or maybe a subterranean hotel with free pizza delivery from Scuba Steve.

The most unusual hotel I’ve ever stayed in (so far) was a Butlins in Minehead. For those of you unfamiliar with this fine British establishment, congratulations. It’s where all the guests from every British day time TV chat show ever spend their summer holidays, and its weird. But nothing I took away from that experience, including dancing with a man in a Noddy costume in the doorway of an on site spar, compares to the experiences you’d take away from some of the gaffs on this site.

For example the Hound hotel in the States where you can slumber in the belly of the worlds largest beagle.

Wicked, but not as face-dissolvingly mucusy as you’d think, because it’s a wooden beagle. It’s built by two canine obsessed owners, one of whom loves to indulge in a spot of “chainsaw art,” which doesn’t involve him eviscerating drifters as I’d first expected: he just carves dog after dog from tree stumps. There’s pictures on his website of thousands of them in his back yard, I can’t imagine why they’re not selling. People must not have an eye for quality art anymore.

There they are all lined up behind the giant wooden Beagle Hotel: it’s own terracotta army.

Failing that you could stay in a giant glass igloo in a picturesque snowy glen in Norway. You probably won’t though because for some stupid reason it’s owners put two right next to each other. If your looking for a quiet romantic getaway you’ll have

to resign yourself to sharing it with the horny Albanian swingers who’ve chosen to push the boundaries right up against the glass wall facing your igloo’s lounge.

A better choice for the die-hard romantics amongst you is a Japanese hotel in which you can share a Jacuzzi in a giant champagne glass.At the touch of a button it elevates you and your lucky lover (or unlucky acquaintance) through the penthouse roof affording you both panoramic views of downtown Tokyo.

Some of the lodgings are legitimately amazing. Cave hotels carved into a Mexican gorge spring to mind, as does the socialite only zeppelin hotel.

If you are planning to celebrate the end of your course by ditching blighty, or just want to spend a few months away from your comparatively wank hometown, thus minimising the amount of time you have to spend with your folks thinking about your future, unusualhotelsoftheworld.com should definitely be your first port of call. Come on everybody; we’re all going on a summer holiday (In a Beagle).

Dom M-S

PENDING.....

Saints Row 2: Xbox360 (THQ) Face it Grand Theft Auto IV will end.

You’ll have to deal with it at some point. The good people at THQ have therfore calculated the exact day you’ll complete your game as August the 29th and timed the release of Saints Row 2 accordingly.

50 Cent: Blood on the Sands PS3 (Vivendi) Between being robbed of his jewellery on stage and celebrating being hip hops biggest twat, Fiddy took the time to cruise over to Iraq in his private Lear Jet and sort “dem mean streets of Baghdad out for real”. Well not actually for real, because he’s a coward

digital@gairrhydd.com / 37

digital

Taking Liberties

Richard Wood takes us through the world’s fastest selling game Grand Theft Auto IV

360, PS3

G

rand Theft Auto IV is the biggest release that the world of video games has ever seen, and in fact the biggest release the world of entertainment has ever seen. It’s already broken records for the biggest first day ever, the biggest first week ever and not content with that, the gameworld is absolutely bloody massive itself.

Set in Liberty City, a sprawling satire of New York complete with landmarks, the game begins in Broker (Brooklyn). Your protagonist, Niko Bellic, is a likeable Serbian war veteran who is utterly unfazed by any situation, whether it’s taking a date to dinner or stealing a truckload of heroin from Triads. Coming to the New World in the hope of a new start, he finds his cousin’s promises of fake titties and penthouse suites are not exactly accurate, and he quickly finds himself drawn into the world of crime. His previous experience proves valuable as he rises up the ladder, making money, friends and enemies on the way. But his motives are not as simple as they first seem – Niko is looking for explanations, and revenge.

You will encounter Russian gangsters, Puerto Rican drug dealers, Jamaican yardies and Irish bank robbers among others. You can travel all over the four main islands of Liberty City, taking cars and ignoring traffic laws, evading police and choosing your activities pretty much as and when you want to do them, riding bikes and flying helicopters. This is all relatively similar to the previous GTA games, so what’s different?

This is the first in the series that’s been made for the next-gen, HD consoles, so it would be remiss not to address the graphical improvements.

Well, they’re pretty good – the city itself looks stunning at night, and

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the cars are noticeably cleaner, smoother and better looking. The animations in both pedestrians and main characters have also been improved. There’s a wonderful range of facial expressions and body language on view in both normal play and the cutscenes, and the resulting versatility leads to scenes that have subtlety and individuality.

Why is this important? Well, the missions that you’re assigned are usually pretty similar – go here, pick this up, kill this person. It could get tiresome in the previous games. In GTAIV, every mission is given an air of individuality by the characters that give it to you.

Which conveniently brings me to the characterisation and writing. To put it succinctly, it is brilliant. Every character has real personality, with their dialogue sounding natural and flowing just as you might imagine a real conversation to do. Some might call it Tarantino-esque – it has no bearing on the plot but just improves the feel of the game, reduces the dead airtime and keeps you constantly involved. This is the best GTA game so far in this respect. Niko himself is a great character, sarcastic and witty, cynical, ruthless and uncompromising but strangely moral and devoted to his family. He’s witheringly dismissive of the American Dream, decrying his new country as “full of shitty adverts with nothing behind them”, this theme continuing throughout.

The writing and gameplay are the meat of the game, but what always made GTA so special is its attention to detail and its satirical way of doing so. It’s the moment where you see the “tw@” internet cafes for the first time and laugh. It’s when you hear a pedestrian yell “That’s IT! I’m buying a gun” as your wing mirror misses them by two inches. The radio stations have again been expanded and feature a

superb soundtrack as well as adverts and talk shows that produce genuine laugh-out-loud moments. And now, there’s an ingame Internet to explore, as well as TV programmes. No game has ever before had me sit watching TV on my TV (Republican Space Rangers is worth its weight in gold). It’s touches like this that make GTAIV way more than just a gangster game.

This iteration has also introduced something that’s been long awaited – multiplayer. I cannot possibly talk about all the multiplayer in the space I have here. Suffice to say you play over the whole city in about 15 different modes including deathmatch, race and cops and robbers, with up to 16 people. It’s breathtaking in scope and will provide endless entertainment and countless stories to relay to your mates, such as the one that accompanies this article, which happened to me on Thursday night.

GTAIV is an absolute tour de force, a huge, huge game that is just incomparable with any other series. It is brilliant in its scope, variety, intelligence, humour, writing and plot.

Other games might match one or two aspects, but not all. I’ve barely scratched the surface here. No review could do this game justice. It has to be played.

digital

Tired of Playing With Yourself?

G

TA’s multiplayer is an amazing experience that I couldn’t possibly describe succinctly. With that in mind I thought it best to share just a small portion of my experiences online. Names have been changed to protect the identities of all involved.

“Come on!” Tony shouted as he ran down the jetty towards the speedboat. “Shut up!” his companion Eddie shouted from the boardwalk, “I have a bad feeling about this – I don’t think we should be on the boat until the others get here.” “And if they don’t get here? What then? Get on the boat!

We have to be ready to leave the second they do get here!”

Eddie hesitated, but at another, more insistent shout, he ran down the jetty to join Tony. Their escape had been hectic, losing Richie in a furious car-to-car gunfight with the cops, but bursting a tire in the process and killing two of their pursuers, the final one of which had been killed as they got to the jetty. All they had to do was get the boat into international waters and they were free, but first they had to wait for the other car to arrive. As the cops descended on them, they’d split up, hoping to divide and confuse their pursuers, but who knew how the others were faring?

As Tony and Eddie considered the possible fate of their teammates, they heard a siren blaze for a second, then shut off, followed by the sound of an engine at high speed.

A car raced onto the boardwalk by the jetty, far too fast, skidded and crashed into the concrete pillars next to the water. A couple of seconds later, their dazed colleague Johnny jumped out and stumbled towards them.

“Where are they?!” shouted Tony, only to hear “Dead!” coming back at him. He grimaced and shouted “Cops?” “Lost ‘em” came the reply, as Johnny limped onto the jetty. Tony and Eddie shared a look, then turned to make sure the boat was ready to leave as Johnny approached.

They’d had their backs turned for two seconds when a crack rang out across the water. They spun round to see blood still in the air as Johnny toppled to his side, killed by a sniper’s bullet. They ducked down to look for the killer, and as he looked to his left, Eddie saw a smoke trail extending towards them across the water. He had just enough time to reflect that he’d been right about being on the boat, before the rocket hit the deck and exploded.

digital@gairrhydd.com / 39

digital Final Fantasy: Crisis Core PSP

F

inal Fantasy VII catapulted J/ RPGs into the mainstream. At the time it was innovative in the graphics, soundtrack and to western minds how it told an epic tale. As dated as Final Fantasy VII may be, it’s a game that even newcomers can enjoy. There is no better time than now to check it out with the prequel Crisis Core hitting shelves this summer; if you can’t wait there is always Ebay.

I couldn’t help but approach Crisis Core with cynicism. Square Enix milk the Final Fantasy franchise but I just can’t fault them for doing so. Crisis Core grabs you by the unmentionables the moment you begin. The stunningly rendered CG intro absorbs you into the world just as other Final Fantasy titles have done before it.

The games graphics will have you rubbing your eyes in disbelief; it’s like playing a handheld PS2. Graphics don’t make a game, though I have to say it really adds to the immersion.

The “materia” system makes a bold return from FFVII. You can equip varying amounts as you progress through the game but this time with

God of War: Chains of Olympus PSP

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he impossibly masculine Kratos makes his first but hopefully not last appearance on the PSP in this prequel to the PS2 God of War titles.

The game offers an attractively presented but wafer thin plot concerning the origins of Kratos’ service to the Classical Gods of Olympus, which predictably plays second fiddle to the visceral action it entails.

God of War is essentially a drastically updated version of the scrolling beat ‘em ups that were all the rage in the 90s, with some genuinely clever if not overly original puzzles adding variety. Your main weapons are the Blades of Chaos: two jagged swords

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a different and exciting twist, materia fusion. For those new to FFVII this was how you gave your characters abilities and improved stats. As you progress you get better versions of materia you own. If you don’t want to wait and search every nook and cranny you can now upgrade your materia by fusing it to make more interesting and powerful materia.

Battles take the same approach as FFXII but with more emphasis on the action element. You control one character throughout by the name of Zack Fair, so no autopilot gambits here. When in a battle the area will be sectioned off with invisible walls, within which you can move freely. You can block and dodge at the cost of ‘AP’ points with assigned buttons and choose between your magic, abilities and attack command. What’s great is there is no waiting; the emphasis is put on the action and so it makes battles a real test of skill as well as stats.

DMW (Digital Mind Wave) makes its debut; this system is used to level up your character and materia, along with how limit breaks and summons are performed. DMW takes the form of a slot machine reel with different characters and numbers on.

When matched you will either level up you character, materia or perform a special attack or summon. It may sound random but by using materia

and winning battles you will level up when you have gained sufficient experience; there just isn’t a visible experience bar.

Crisis Core has a compelling story and gives an interesting insight into the events before FFVII, the gameplay is solid, fast and fun. As well as the main story, players are given the opportunity to level up, obtain new items and explore the world through the 300 missions offered.

If you have a lot of work I wouldn’t advise you pick it up as I have just lost a good solid week of my life to it and loved it all.

Liam Charalmbous

tethered to Kratos by chains, which can be swung for brutal attacks.

Button bashers will feel at home for the first few hours, but later levels demand that you master an addictive combo system, evasive techniques and parrying in order to progress.

The production values are staggering for a portable machine. The graphics and excellent, often epic score could comfortably sit alongside some of the PS2’s most highend titles and hold their own. New to God of War, running through the game on normal devoured just short of 8 hours of my life, series veterans could probably do it in 6 or 7. Two higher difficulties await particularly masochistic players and extend the game’s replay value considerably.

Gameplay is forgiving thanks to abundant checkpoints. These are often a godsend (pun intended), as finishing moves that require the PSP’s analogue ‘stick’ are particularly tough to execute and leave you

wide open if unsuccessful. Another frustrating issue is the sheer number of powerful monsters you face simultaneously in later levels, occasionally placing the game in an odd position where waves of enemies are considerably harder than the bosses. However, the satisfaction of triumphing over such situations is unparalleled, and is one of the reasons your quest remains so compelling throughout.

You won’t be able to stand to be beaten by it, and the “Just one more go” factor of God of War makes it an impossible game to put down. Highly recommended. Sam Eddy

music

inmusicthisweek

albums:portishead

camdencrawl

live:pendulum

musiceditorial musiceditorial regards to the Glastonbury line up then it’s the fact that passingfad bands like The Fratellis and The Enemy are so high up the bill. Still, if Glastonbury doesn’t float your boat there really is A LOT of good things on the festival horizon this summer.

Noel “ Gallagher has

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I

don’t understand what Oasis have got against Jay-Z. I mean, a lot has been said about the fact that, shockhorror, one of the most commercially successful artists of the decade has been booked to headline one of Britain’s largest music festivals but seriously, Noel Gallagher has got a nerve hasn’t he?

I saw Oasis’s headline set at Glastonbury a few years ago and it was god-awful. There’s nothing worse than when a festival like Glastonbury books a past-it band like Oasis to headline just so we can all turn up in a field and watch a band run through mediocre renditions of a load of songs that were a hit 10 years previously just to give 50 thousand of Jo Whiley’s most adamant listeners something to sing along to. Everyone seems to be fretting about Jay-Z playing but at least he’s not outdated by an entire decade; I mean, and be honest now, who really gives a fuck about The Verve these days?

So people say that Glastonbury is built on a great tradition of guitar music? Has everyone forgotten about the 90s? Anyone recall when the Progidy or the Chemical Brothers headlined the Pyramid Stage? There was nearly a good solid decade when Glastonbury was dominated by dance music and guitar bands were pretty much marginalised.

If there’s a real crime going on

got a nerve...

For me the fact that I finish my degree this week and am off to All Tomorrow’s Parties at the weekend is enough to keep me smiling. For anyone who is unfamiliar with ATP (which is likely to be most people) it is a music festival that takes place three times a year (twice in May and once at christmas) and is usually held at the Butlins holiday park in Minehead.

Each ATP runs for three nights across a weekend and tickets include chalet accomodation for the weekend and full access to Butlins’ water-slide and go-kart facilities. After a trip to ATP the idea of staying in a tent for three days and having to use porta-loos at all other UK festivals will just seem unreasonable.

This year we here at Quench music have chosen to attend the

second of May’s two ATPs which is curated by Texan post-rocker Explosions In The Sky. With a stella line-up of brilliant rock (Dinosaur Jr, Silver Jews) dance (The Field, Four Tet,) and hip-hop (De La Soul, Ghostface) acts appearing we’re fairly sure we’ve made the right choice.

Elsewhere, Latitude festival, which is situated in the beautiful Suffolk countryside has a line up which is shaping up nicely (Sigur Ros, Franz Ferdinand, MIA, The Breeders) and a comedy line-up which is worth the ticket price by itself.

Although Welsh folk/indie festival Green Man is getting more attention these days it’s still somewhat of an undiscovered gem hidden away in the Brecon hills.

For those who don’t like to leave the comfort of the city Bristol’s Dot-to-Dot festival is great value for money and has a lot of rather exciting up-andcoming acts appearing alongside a couple of bigger names and although London’s Field Day festival received some bad reviews last year (long lines for toilets and only hot-dogs to eat) we’ve been assured things will be better second time round. Birmingham’s Supersonic festival looks like another small, inner city affair worth checking out.

And then there’s Reading/ Leeds; they may be a bit shit but hey, they’ve got Rage. ST

music@gairrhydd.com /

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albums THE COURTEENERS St. Jude Warner

W

Northeeners

hat ho! Another group of unshaven Northern scallies swaggering their way through my speakers like priapic labourers. A bellowing alpha-knob for a frontman decrying the current

RACHEL TAYLORBEALES Red Tree Hushland Records

T

A lady

he second album by local artist Rachel Taylor-Beales elegantly balances a number of contradictions. It is haunting yet peaceful, heartfelt yet optimistic and gentle yet incredibly powerful.

With influences taken largely from British folk and traditional tales, the artist brings out evocative and mysterious layers to the full in a refreshing way, often revealing Taylor-Beales’ second major influence, a children’s

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state of music, proclaiming the previous generation of the guitar-wielding underclass to be not as ‘real’ as the current incarnation of pikey Mancunian dukes who intoxicate the allstar wearing youth into a fervent adulation. So far, So Oasis.

The Courteeners, however, are subtly different. St. Jude is an album of sophistication, veering wildly from the kind of anthem beloved of boys in parkas to clutch their brethren and spill European lager over each other to, to delicate introspection worthy (almost) of that perennial manc messiah, his Mozship himself. No doubt, this album will be snubbed by the indie illuminate, but for those of you above Scouting For Girls, but not quite Times New Viking, why not give these guys a spin?

7/10 Ben Marshall

storybook also entitled ‘Red Tree’.

Both the text and the album confront issues of loneliness and depression and the album alludes to childhood, with images such as ‘hope twists on a tyre swing’ and the more sinister, ‘seems my innocence been slaughtered’. Like the book, the artist also refers to a long journey, translating childhood anxieties into issues relevant in the adult world.

With both Taylor-Beales’ voice and lyrics being so passionate, Red Tree is definitely worth a listen. Do try and see her on her launch tour, which promises to bring out the depth of the music through linking the songs with their visual influences.

8/10 Amelia Forsbrook

PORTISHEAD Third Universal

In the town/where I was born...

C

onsidering the phenomenal success of the first two Portishead records, it might seem strange that it took 11 years to release a third. While the band appeared to have the world at their feet after the release of a genre defining and critically adored debut album, Portishead have never been a band to crave the spotlight; something that has never been so apparent as on the haunting Third.

Pick The Of k e e W After a long hiatus, the new record quite appropriately doesn’t sound like a ‘comeback’ at all, as the band return with something that demands perseverance and endurance of its listener. This is not necessarily a criticism, as a whole the record sounds isolated and frightened, and while this is at first intimidating, there is a definite beauty to be found in its fragility.

The one element of the album that is reassuringly Portishead is Beth Gibbons’s voice; as stunning now as it was back on 1994’s Dummy.

Whether it’s supported by dramatic noise arrangements such as on We Carry On, or by the simple stripped down ukulele chords of Deep Water, Gibbons’ voice is consistently the stunning highlight that carries you through some of the records more trying moments.

For me, the highlight comes from slow-burning electronic ballad The Rip, beginning as a typical Portishead guitar construction, before electronics forcefully take over; as if to portray the frightening power of machinery over Gibbons’ brittle and delicate voice. But this is a record in which you could endlessly find new depths, and perhaps the highlighted moment should be a judgement left to you to make as I am still atempting to get to grips with this brilliant return. 9/10 Kyle Ellison

TOKYO POLICE CLUB Elephant Shell Warner

biologically inaccurate

A

fter two EPs and more buzz than a swarm of angry bees, Tokyo Police Club’s debut is finally here, but it’s not the record we were expecting.

Their previous outings have delivered urgent post-punk bursting with

music

youthful exuberance, but now they seem to have slowed down, with bookish lyrics and a more layered sound.

While the band have changed, their sound is still recognisable.

Lead singer Dave Monk’s voice is instantly familiar and the brevity of their songs remains. What’s changed is the tone, evolving from a nervous immediacy to a summery optimism.

Elephant Shell is by no means a bad record, with Your English Is Good being arguably the best song they’ve

ever written. The problem is that, too often, it veers into OC soundtrack territory. Don’t get me wrong, I like Death Cab for Cutie, but this hardly plays to TPC’s strengths.

For it all its merits, Elephant Shell is a missed opportunity. I really think they should’ve made the explosive post-punk record their EPs suggested they would, but, like a ten year old girl in a push up bra, TPC want to grow up too soon.

6.5/10 Guy Ferneyhough

M83

which have captured the imaginations of producers everywhere.

Gonzalez has thrown everything into this record, with maximum synths and maximum energy, the album is a first class listen from start to finish, unless of course you have something against synth heavy 80s music.

The production and songs bring this album bang up to date in an explosion of noise. If you crave something different from the daily grind of the charts, M83 will open your eyes to another world. Skin of the Night and We Own The Sky are definitely your first ports of call on this record.

Check it out and find out for yourself.

9/10 Gareth Ludkin

BORN RUFFIANS Red Yellow and Blue Warp I can sing a rainbow too

R

ed, Yellow and Blue, the primary colours of tediousness.

This is the debut album by Canadian indie boys Born Ruffians.

The band has enjoyed success after being championed by Zane Lowe and also featuring on an episode of Skins.

The band mix indie rock with country as well as prog rock time signatures. This would certainly make most bands sound unique to their generic peers and in theory give them huge character.

“No song on

this album stands out at all.

“

Unfortunately, the Born Ruffians fail to make these genres give their songs individuality. No song on the album stands out at all. It is 40 minutes of unbridled boredom that makes an audience with John Major seem like a reasonable alternative.

After hearing the first few chords you know that the album is going to be a tedious endeavour to listen to. However, the band members are good musicians that demonstrate potential but on the other hand they are pathetic song writers. Give this one a miss unless you are into background music to accompany BBC 4.

3/10 Roddy Waldron

Saturdays = Youth EMI

Wednesday = Laundry

M

83 aka Anthony Gonzalez returns with a sublime new album of 80s synth pop brilliance, Kate Bush-esque vocals on Skin of the Night and synth’s galore. Gonzalez admits to the desire to make this a really 80s sounding recording.

A record he has undoubtedly achieved, completely different from the ambient sound scapes from his previous work As M83’s 5th album Saturdays = Youth is a reflection on Gonzalez’s onw youth, represented by these 11 electronic masterpices

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live live live live live live live live very well. The band do not shy away from their background but positively live up to it.

Vampire Weekend I should hate them and yet… As 01/05/08 the gig starts we’re quickly treated Anson Rooms to the perky musical nuggets of Mansard Roof and Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa but it’s not until Ezra Koenig bursts into the frantic opening bars of A-Punk that the crowd really go ampire Weekend had been wild burst into a frenzy and arms forced to move their show flail everywhere. The band were only at Bristol’s Bierkeller venue due to being hyped as the ‘next big too aware that they don’t have much material, only having released one thing’ to the bigger Anson Rooms. album, so they treated the Bristol I should hate this band because crowd to a brand new song which there is no getting away from the not only padded out the show but fact that these kids are from a priviComing on like a more polished, laid leged background and rip off African back version of The Strokes and music. Their love affair with affluent then adding in the afrobeat of TalkNew England (Cape Cod is nameing Heads - Paul Simon era, Vampire checked in their songs), the Ivy Weekend have sculpted an upbeat, League Education, the fact that it taught and danceable live show. is defiantly a ‘college’ record, full of Gemma Southgate references to campus life and parties seems to suit the Bristol crowd

V

As The Hives walk out, aptly, to Hey Little World, you get an idea of why they’re one of the most exciting live acts around today. The music’s The Hives 17/04/08 great and the banter’s better: “I Bristol Academy will destroy you”, anyone not clapping and cheering is warned, while Nicholaus Arson (Almqvist’s brother) asks audience members to blow the owlin’ Pelle Almqvist is damn smoke from his guitar strings after a frenetic Hate To Say I Told You So. cool. Strutting around the Musically, their raw intensity’s not stage in the band’s tradebeen lost in playing longer songs. mark black and white suit, stripThe 90-second wonders Abra Caping ‘seductively’, climbing amps, daver, Untutored Youth and Declare jumping into the crowd, flirting Guerre Nucleaire are sadly absent, with the women, mocking the men, but it’s still a fantastic setlist, the high-kicking, scissor-kicking and highlight being an absolutely explodemanding applause at every opsive (sorry) Tick Tick Boom. portunity, he whips the crowd into They’re touring America now, but a frenzy.

His mic-juggling alone is worth the next time The Hives swagger into your town, go and see them. They’re ticket price, swinging it around like an experience. an uncontrollable electric eel but Huw Davies always catching it perfectly on cue.

He’s one hell of a performer.

H

Magik Markers Clwb

22/04/08

O

k, I love noise-rock music as much as the next pretentious indie type.

When it’s done well the genre’s trademark sloppy, droning guitar noise and structure-less songs can be beautiful and lends itself to mesmerising live performances.

Tonight, however, playing to a quickly emptying ground floor of Clwb Ifor Bach, the noise coming out of Connecticut based duo Magik Markers could by no stretch of the imagination be described as ‘noiserock done well.’

As far as I can tell, it’s mostly the fault of miserable-as-fuck looking guitarist Elisa Ambrogio that half the crowd seem to be flocking for the exit. Watching her play is kind of like going around a friend’s house on boxing day when said friend has got a whole load of new guitar effects pedals as a present the day before. All they want to do is see what kind of obnoxious, shrill noises they can make with their new toys while you just wish they’d shut up so you could actually go out and do something.

Drummer Pete Nolan provides some kind of relief with his frantic kit bashing but even so he can’t seem to make it through an entire drum fill without falling out of time with himself. This has to be the most times I’ve ever gone outside for a cigarette during a band’s set. I don’t make it to the end of the gig; it’s too much of a slog and my head hurts.

Si Truss

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live live live live live live live live

Frightened Rabbit 10 Feet Tall 30/04/08

F

rightened Rabbit brought brilliant songs and Scottish grit to a fairly subdued audience at Cardiff’s Ten Feet Tall.

All the way from Scotland, the band soon livened up the audience with their passionate Scottish indie rock, with songs from their sophmore

The Automatic 29/04/08 The Point

M

y definition of a great gig has always been whether it’s got passion, atmosphere and my glasses come off.

I like to get in the thick of the action when seeing a band, often to my own detriment.

My glasses stayed on, but this didn’t mean the passion or atmosphere were not there. Perhaps, in reflection of the number of underage boys and girls that had come to see the Automatic, this quietness was understandably wise.

The night though started angrily with Attack Attack who, despite no lack of effort and heart, failed to get the crowd and myself going.

That changed a bit for Viva Machine (previously Ipsofacto), a Swansea based electro-indie band whose live

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release which has been shooting up the album chart of late.

Akin to bands such as the Archie Bronson Outfit, crossed with early Idlewild; Frightened Rabbit delivered a brilliantly aggressive set of comprehension of lyrics went out the window when they stepped up the tempo and blasted out song after song of edgy guitar rock.

Frightened Rabbit are certainly a band to watch out for in coming months as they continue around the country spreading their music, which is certain to capture many new fans, me included.

Gareth Ludkin performance and music is something to be savoured with their album coming out later this year. They ‘look’ almost like a 80s rock group, in hairstyle and performance!

For the homecoming Automatic, this gig was the culmination of an intense four-week tour in which they have already toured parts of Wales.

A drop in intensity and passion would be accepted but there was none of it from them or the other two bands. Inevitably, hit tracks Monster and Recover drew the most response from the, up to then, quite sedate crowd, despite the electrifying efforts of Viva Machine before them.

After a handful of new songs from the eagerly awaited forthcoming album they produced a quick finish.

There was a sense the crowd left a little disappointed by this, but perhaps also because the Automatics lively performance had at least found its equal in the rawness of Viva Machine.

Jonathan Evans

Alabama 3 27/04/08 Bristol Academy

T

hat song is not from The Sopranos. “Fuck `em. Fuck `em in the eye.”

Strong words from a band who re-released Woke Up This Morning, the Sopranos theme that catapulted them from obscurity to slightly milder obscurity, at every available opportunity – this time, to promote their ‘retrospective’ (an evasion of the words ‘Greatest Hits’, since their only Top 40 hit actually charted at No40).

But The Very Reverend Dr. D. Wayne Love is right – it’s not about fame or a New Jersey mobster; it’s about soul. Larry Love, complete with two genuine rock `n` roll black eyes, sings – and looks – like he could die at any moment, while the breathtaking gospel of new recruit Devlin Love, who is almost young enough to be birthday boy D. Wayne’s granddaughter, sends shivers down the spine.

And yet it’s an absolute party. Every song’s a hit, from the “sweet country acid house music” of yore to the sellouts of last year’s aptly-titled M.O.R. You can even forgive them that album as they preach the incredible Hypo Full Of Love’s 12 steps, start a hoe-down with U Don’t Dans 2 Tekno and transform Hello…I’m Johnny Cash into an apocalyptic rave.

“Things ain’t been the same,” sings Larry, “since Alabama 3 walked into town.” Damn right.

Huw Davies

music

A

h the Camden Crawl, a place where middle aged men can prance about in trilby hats, stumbling from venue to venue in search of bands they can ruin for other people before finding a nice toilet to be sick in. Yes, Camden

FRIDAY 18th APRIL

A

fter an afternoon filled with musical bingo and other such activities planned around Camden’s many watering holes, it’s off to the Electric Ballroom for the first act of the day; Sam Sparro. Off the back of recent single success with Black and Gold, Sparro delivers a confident and assured set, standing out as one the acts most likely to propel themselves to future stardom.

Up next, Youthmovies are as remarkable as ever, constructing epic climaxes out of the most basic yet gorgeous of melodies. Although their longer psychedelic jams often tread the line between experimentation and self-indulgence, at their strongest there are few other bands that can create moments like the Oxford quintet.

The most impressive act of Saturday, however, is without a doubt Swedish songstress Lykke Li. Playing in the perfectly intimate surroundings of the Queens of Noize sponsored Black Cap, she runs through all the highlights from debut album Youth Novels and in a bizarre twist launches into a version of Can I Kick It? in homage hip hop legends A Tribe Called Quest. I’m not sure what it is about Lykke Li which is so infectious, but this was the surprise performance of the weekend. Whilst the night ends with a typically tight performance from Cardiff’s Future of the Left, their finest contribution to the Crawl was reserved until the next day.

houses a certain calibre of twat perhaps unfamiliar to you as a Cardiff student, however, it also hosts one of the finest multi-venue festival line-ups the UK has to offer.

Taking place over the weekend of the 18th and 19th of April, the

Camden Crawl opens its plethora of venues up to the UK’s leading promoters, bringing together artists including Los Campesinos, Johnny foreighner, Lykke Li, Wiley and M83.

Here’s what Quench saw,read and remembers of the weekend.

SATURDAY 19th APRIL

A

fter Los Campesinos’ more intimate yet exclusive set from the night before, their opening Sunday slot amazingly manages to completely fill the 2500 capacity Koko theatre. This might be a bigger audience than what they are used to but it’s equally one of the most together Los Campesinos performances I’ve ever seen; the band playing with the perfect balance of youthful enthusiasm and restrained professionalism.

It’s fellow Cardiff band Future of the Left, however, who deliver the performance of the weekend. The modestly sized Bar Monsta is the perfect venue for their angular punk assault, as the guitar tears through the floor sending the crowd into frenzy. By the time the band has begun their finale, the stage has not just been invaded, but completely liberated by an army of eager fans clearly in the moment of a truly special performance.

Unfortunately, the Crawls major attraction, M83, ends in disappointment for the Drowned in Sound sponsored event. While M83 finally arrives on stage after nearly 45 minutes worth of delays, the stage manager halts them after only 6 songs due to a break of the venue’s strict curfew. While what there was of an M83 set was enthralling, it was a shame to end the weekend in anti-climax; trudging off to a nearby 24 hour café to wait for the first train home. Kyle Ellison

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L I S T I N G S 12/05

- 25/05 S I N G L E S

MONDAY 12th MAY Cancer Bats @ Barfly Shit and Shine @ Clwb

FRIDAY 16th MAY Explosions in the Sky curated ATP @ Butlins, Minehead

TUESDAY 13th MAY

MONDAY 19th MAY

Black Lips / No Age @ Bristol Thekla The Charlatans @ Bristol Academy

Times New Viking @ Clwb Joe Satriani @ St Davids Centre

WEDNESDAY 14th MAY Jonah Matranga @ Barfly The Lionheart Brothers @ Bristol Cooler THURSDAY 15th MAY Times New Viking @ Bristol Louisiana A Hawk and A Hacksaw @ Bristol Thekla Wednesday 13 @ SU

TUESDAY 20th MAY Johnny Flynn @ Clwb WEDNESDAY 21st MAY Tinariwen @ The Point The Whip @ Barfly Sunset Rubdown @ Bristol Thekla Public Enemy @ Bristol Academy THURSDAY 22nd MAY Mount Eerie @ Start The Bus

GIG PICK NEHEAD EXPLOSIONS ATP @ MI Friday 16th -18th MAY

year. Explosions festival in the UK this st be the ply sim ite Qu ttles, The er Ghostface Killah, Ba in the Sky bring togeth l Scene, Adem, cia So n osaur Jr, Broke Din n, wo ek Ra l, na tio Na re - all inside won amongst many mo ek Ra d an ne Wi d an n Iro facilities. gs of Minheads Butlins din un rro su e arr biz the

BJORK Wanderlust One Little Indian With mismatched out-of-sync electro beats, powerful vocals and brass, Wanderlust is quintessentially Bjork. Bjork is the ultimate marmite: you either love her or you hate her. I fall into the former category, but like many of her songs, the track needs a couple of plays to adjust to it, which Bjork’s instantly recognizable amazing vocals justify. Wanderlust is by no means mainstream, but hey, it’s Bjork. 7/10 KP

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JAMIE LIDELL Little Bit of Feel Good Warp This record, which is by a man known for making house and electronica, comes as a bit of shock.

It is a retro, funky soul song that makes the most of Lidell’s wonderfully gritty voice and a catchy tune.

Think Prince plus testosterone. A little bit of feel good, indeed!

8/10 RG

MORRISSEY All You Need Is Me Polydor

Morrissey’s new single is a great showcase of his prodigious talents as a musician and songwriter of high calibre. To the backdrop of angry guitars Morrissey announces, “There’s so much destruction all over the world”. Knowingly the title gives it all away, all you need is me, and for Morrissey fans this will be all you need. 8/10 JE

LATE OF THE PIER Space in The Woods Parlophone

So apparently Muse and MGMT grew balls and made a big old ballsy bollock baby. This double A side is so ballsy it makes actual testicles look like a fanny. This means that it is good. 8/10 BM

A SILENT FILM Sleeping Pills Xtra Mile

From this bands name and their song Sleeping Pills you could get the impression no sound is produced at all. Rather what you get is an ok attempt at covering an already sodden pop-rock market with a lead singer who sounds suspiciously like Ville Valo. The song itself moves on pleasantly enough but is just a little samey really. 6/10 JE

m l i F

film

THE BUZZ...

The latest news, rumours and conjecture

INDIANA JONES TRAILER! Today’s Buzz is themed around heroes, super or otherwise. First off we have the new trailer of Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull, it looks approximately two and a half times better than the previous trailer so our expectations have been raised slightly. Not only do we have Cate Blanchett, but also some variety of indigenous people, carrying spears and sharpened watermelons. Harrison Ford is looking particularly old, but Indy was always had the head and attitude of a middle-aged archaeology professor so not much has really changed. Look out for our review of the movie in the next issue- all together now:

IRON MAN BOX OFFIICE After taking over $100 million at the US box office in its opening weekend, Iron Man (reviewed page forty) has got the go ahead for a sequel.

As the first film made exclusively by Marvel Studio’s this is good news for the comic book giants, who have already got plans to relase Thor, the Avengers and Captain America.

Robert Downey Jr. is contracted to appear in the sequel so hopefully the franchise will continue to provide his with a platfrom for his wry, dead pan charm.

Dun dun dun duuh. dun dun duuh. dun dun dun duuh, dun dun dun duuh, dun dun dunn duuh dun, dun dun duh. dun dun dun dun, dun dun dun dun dun, dun.

WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS!

THE DARK KNIGHT Things we know about the Dark Knight so far:

i) Cillian Murphy will make at least a cameo apperance as the Scarecrow. ii) Maggie Gyllenhaal, may or may not die when she gets chucked off a building. iii )Harvey Dent will become Two-face. Probably due to petrol and a match. That’ll do it. Or acid. Something cool. iv) It’s looking dark; a shot in the trailer reveals the explosion of Gotham General Hospital. Evil…

Also, here at film desk, we’re putting our money on Heath Ledger to win an Oscar posthumously for his perfomance as the Joker. Ok, we’re jumping the gun. I mean, we haven’t seen the film, but all reports state that his turn as the sad clown is nothing short of spectacular.

“

The best activities for your health are pumping and humping

”

Arnold Schwartzneger one liners in this weeks Top 5.

THIS

WEEK

MOSTLY

WE

HAVE

BEEN

THINKING...

1

It occurred to me recently whilst re-watching Falling Down (which have you ever noticed is seemingly on TV five times a month), why is Robert Duval not heralded as one of the three greatest actors of his generation? Pacino and DeNiro are always held up as masters of their craft but Duval’s back catalogue is something to marvel at. Not only did he steal the show in Apocalypse Now, but his turn in the Godfather Trilogy was as vital and well observed as Pacino as Michael Corleone. I suppose the reason is that he never had the knock out looks of the other two, and more importantly he tends not to take lead roles. Such is the fate of supporting actors. Still, he’s won an Oscar and probably has a nice ranch in Texas, so, I’m sure he’s dealing with it.

2

We’ve also been wondering (us here in the office) what are the best TV to film adaptations. Scouring the internet the films that top lists are The Fugitive, The Untouchables and Star Trek (various), however you’d think they’d be a bigger name there. It seems that ones that succeed are those that subvert the genre of the original tv show, Starsky and Hutch comes to mind.

3

I’ve been listening to Scarlett Johansson’s solo album. As it’s a collection of Tom Waits covers produced by Dave Sitek (of TV ad the Radio), it’s safe to say that it won’t sell that well. Particularly because Scarlett’s voice is far from the sweet, prom queen harmonizing that one might expect; it’s more of a low, deep and husky moan. Sexy though. She obviously really likes Tom Waits. Good for her.

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“ I

ron Man is more that just another superhero film. As the first Dir: John Farveau Marvel produced movie, the success of Iron Man could represent a Cast: Robert Downey new dawn in the making of comic Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, book movies, a new dawn that will Jeff Bridges no doubt make black t-shirt wearing, overweight, sweaty, computer game-playing, sunlight-avoiding fan Out Now, 126 mins boys around the world weep with delight for at least a week.

Marvel’s impact is immediately evident. If appointing John Favreau Synopsis: After weapons technology and (probably most famous for his role playboy expert Tony Stark is ambushed as Monica’s millionaire boyfriend Pete in Friends) to man the helm of in Afghanistan, he is forced by his capsuch a big movie wasn’t enough to tors to create weapons for their local war. Instead however, he fashions a suit signal Marvel’s new direction, the casting of one of Hollywood’s bad of armour and escapes. On his return, boys certainly was. however, he finds that not all is as it Indeed, it’s arguably this brave seems and takes to constructing a new suit in order to help remove the threats piece of casting that makes the film.

Downy Jr. is on sparkling form, exudhe helped to bring into the world.

IRON MAN

50 / film@gairrhydd.com

ing the kind of cock-sure wit that one cannot help but enjoy. Playing Stark as a hard drinking, promiscuous billionaire playboy cannot, it must be said, have been that hard for the man notorious for his partying escapades. However, he also handles moments of introspection and doubt with the kind of subtlety and accomplishment that reminds one of exactly why he earned an Oscar nomination for his role in Chaplin.

On the whole, the film works fairly well. Jeff Bridges deftly sports an incredibly evil beard (not an easy thing to do without playing the Ming the Merciless card) and a ridiculous name (Obadiah Stane isn’t exactly biblical), and both Gwyneth Paltrow and Terrence Howard are solid in their respective roles.

Iron Man, however, is not an

film DOOMSDAY Dir. Neil Marshall Cast: Rhona Mitra, Bob Hoskins, Adrian Lester.

Out Now, 105 mins

Synopsis: 27 years after a plague decimated the population of Scotland - forcing the authorities to quarantine the entire country - the same virus appears in a London ghetto.

A special forces team, led by Major Eden Sinclair (Mitra), must venture over the border to find a cure before the rest of the UK is claimed by the deadly ‘Reaper Virus’.

“

Playing Stark as a hard drinking, promiscuous billionaire playboy cannot, it must be said, have been that hard for Downey Jr.

”

unbridled success. The film falls flat almost as soon as the red and gold paint on Stark’s suit has dried.

Farveau handles the origin story well but struggles to pick the pace up once Stark has become Iron Man, leaving the encounter with Bridges’ Ironmonger feeling rushed and underdeveloped. There is also a distinct lack of action for superhero film. Iron Man is bullet proof, bomb proof, can fly and is generally a bad ass, but Favreau severely under uses Stark’s shiny metal suit.

That said, Iron Man is still an enjoyable watch, buoyed largely

by Downey Jr’s charisma. On the basis of this first Marvel led outing then, those fan boys might well be attempting to play Warcaft through reddened, bloodshot eyes for some time to come.

Sim Eckstein

I

t’s difficult to pin down exactly how to describe Doomsday, as you’d expect from a film that has elements of both horror and action, set in a sort of post-apocalyptic Scotland.

And herein lies the problem – the film doesn’t quite know what it’s trying to be itself. When Sinclair and her team enter Scotland, past the vast, heavily defended wall that separates it from England, they can’t possibly have been expecting a colony of survivors that have become tribal, cannibalistic cyber-punks dressed like rejects from Channel 5’s The Tribe (just where in this apocalyptic landscape do they find so much hair dye and Mohawk gel?), let alone yet another group of survivors who have reverted back to medieval values – riding horses and living in a castle under the eyes of the reliably malevolent Malcolm McDowell.

Perhaps a different filmmaker would be able to gel all the concepts together with some sort of cohesion, but sadly director Neil Marshall packs in

too much, losing focus on ideas as they pass by. It’s a shame, because some of the action set pieces are genuinely exciting - specifically a last act car chase through the Scottish countryside. There are sparkles of something good then, they are just buried in a quagmire of confusion and half-realised ideas.

Mitra holds her own as the sexy ice-cold pro with an emotional tie to the mission, and the rest of the cast are fine, getting through some of their more laughable lines without too much embarrassment. However, the performances are somewhat eclipsed by the increasingly bizarre plot and the director’s penchant for some extremely grisly violence.

Considering Marshall brought us such cult classics as Dog Soldiers and The Descent, expectations were, rightly, reasonably high for this outing. Unfortunately, and frustratingly, Doomsday, while entertaining in parts, just doesn’t add up to a whole. It’s really a case of too many Scottish cyber-punk cannibals spoil the human flavoured broth.

Andrew Swidenbank

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P2 Dir: Franck Khalfoun Cast: Rachel Nichols, Wes Bentley Out Now, 98 mins

Synopsis: Business woman Angela (Nichols) leaves late Christmas Eve from her high flying office job only to find she’s been locked in the building’s car park, cue choking car engines, highly inconvenient mobile phone failure and a rather unpleasant security guard (Bentley).

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eserted car parks are scary, dark, ominous places draped in shadows and filled with eerie silences surrounded by chilling, unforgiving concrete walls. Sadly, the writers of P2 didn’t notice that these things were what could have made this film terrifying, instead thinking, “If we have that kid from American Beauty as another social retard who’s obsessed with another pretty girl but this time he goes postal it’ll obviously be awesome”.

They were wrong; this film is about as scary as a Fiat Panda, with a villainous performance from Bentley that pretty much guarantees he will soon be driving one.

The other lead, up-and-coming actress Rachel Nichols does her best, screaming and bumbling her way through a spluttering script, but even assured film making by Aja’s friend and first time director Franck Khalfoun can’t save this disgracefully clichéd plot that stumbles from capture to escape like a drunken Heather Mills.

As the film nears its (horrendously boring) finale you are genuinely expecting a twist, something to justify its existence, this, however, never comes, instead it finishes as it began, badly. What really speaks volumes to me is that this was released in the U.S in November, a full 6 months ago and far nearer its Christmas setting which may at least have given it some relevance.

As it stands the only thing that remains festive about this French made American drudge is that it’s a bit of a turkey.

Craig Taylor

HAPPY GO LUCKY Dir: Mike Leigh Cast: Sally Hawkins, Eddie Marsan, Alexis Zergerman Out Now, 118 mins

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acky colours and ‘randomness’ are not substitutes for a personality. This was my first reaction when we are introduced to Poppy, the protagonist. The director, Mike Leigh, is renowned for pessimistic and dark portrayals of urban life. So this film surely must be ironic?

30 year old primary school teacher Poppy’s (Sally Hawkins) insatiable happiness (Poppy seems to be the result of a passionate affair between Daffodils, daisy chains and glitter) is too contrived and is an attack on attention seekers who are secretly thoroughly depressed.

Poppy gets criticised, robbed attacked and still remains unaffected.

She has time for anyone: from her racist driving instructor to troubled school bullies and sees only the silver lining to the difficulties of life.

She is child-like but without the tantrums: She is impossible and irritating!

However, perhaps my immediate reaction of irritation at her constant chirpiness and jabbering reflects on me, rather than on her, and perhaps this is the point. This film is not ironic. The unscripted witty dialogue progressively warms you to Poppy and the film turns out to be lovely.

There is no underlying message other than to stop taking things so seriously.

Happy Go Lucky is a film which will undoubtedly leave you feeling like you want to be a little more positive and happy - unless perhaps you are of the driving instructor’s ilk, then you should just calm down. The sun has (eventually) come out of its hibernation, flip flops and revealing clothing have been rediscovered and Happy Go Lucky is here to welcome them back.

Andy Soar

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Director...

Jim Jarmusch

score for Stranger Than Paradise (1984), to the Ethiopian jazz of Broken Flowers (2005). He has also cast such luminaries as Tom Waits and Joe Strummer in leading roles.

Jarmusch was heavily influenced

by European cinema on a trip to Paris in his youth, and this is very evident in his back catalogue. His films have an unmistakeable look and feel to them, with a slower pace than your average, each a unique slice of Americana.

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any of you won’t recognise the name, but that’s easily forgivable; even though Jarmusch has been directing films for well over twenty years he’s always shied away from the mainstream. Stoically non-Hollywood and always attempting to stay to true to his art, Jim Jarmusch is in many ways the quintessential independent American film maker.

The man looks more like a rock star than a director, with his shock of white hair, customary sunglasses and almost ever present cigarette; he was even in band in the eighties. Music is a particularly crucial element in his films and really helps to set the tone, from the John Lurie

MY FAVOURITE: DEAD MAN Starring Johnny Depp, Dead Man could loosely be described as a Western. It takes some elements of the genre and reconstructs them into something very different; it’s been described as an acid western. Depp stars as bespectacled accountant William Blake, who finds himself out in the wild, doomed to die with a bullet lodged next to his heart. Essentially, Dead Man is a character study following Blake on his often surreal and absurd journey of self discovery. On this journey he

Spike Jonze is a tree hugger?

Jesus, I never would’ve had him down as that (Steve Coogan)

KEY FILM: DOWN BY LAW After the moderate critical acclaim of Permanent Vacation (1980 and Stranger Than Paradise (1984), it was with his third feature, Down By Law, that Jarmusch really announced himself.

Set in the backwaters of the Deep South, the film follows the escape of three jailbirds, a disc jockey, a pimp, and a crazy Italian tourist, with hilarity ensuing. This film acutely defines Jarmusch’s style, offering up a mix of deadpan wit, absurdity, compassion, and a search for meaning. For any of you wanting to check out one of his films I’d recommend you start here, the slow pace may piss you off for a bit, but if you it a chance you shall be richly rewarded.

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encounters Nobody, a loner Native American who proves the catalyst for Blake’s enlightenment, as well coming out with some great one liners, such as “Stupid fucking white man”. Beautifully shot in black and white and with a superb improvised soundtrack by Neil Young, Dead Man is thought provoking, well acted and highly watchable.

ONE TO MISS: COFFEE AND CIGARETTES This is a somewhat difficult choice given that I have enjoyed all of all Jarmusch’s output. That may sound like a woefully uncritical position, but I am of the opinion that you either like Jarmusch’s style of filmmaking, or you don’t. Coffee and Cigarettes is a mish mash of short vignettes all with the basic premise that the characters are sipping coffee and smoking. There are some absolute moments of genius here, especially the scene involving a bragging Steve Coogan and Albert Molina as the epitome of modesty.

What lets it down is the inevitable hit and miss nature of the thing. It’s worth a watch, just don’t make it top of your list.

Guy Ferneyhough

film

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t’s a shame Arnold Schwarzenegger went in to politics. Since his departure from cinema there has been a gaping hole in the form of the cheesy oneliners. Usually uttered directly before or after a bad guy’s demise, Arnie was always a pioneer, snapping off witty puns that showed his flagrant disregard for human life in a breathtakingly tactless manner. And we loved him for it. This list is in memoriam then – here’s to the pre/post-mortem one liner...

“STICK AROUND!” PREDATOR (1987) In this action/sci-fi classic, Schwarzenegger is Dutch Schaeffer, the hard-as-nails commando who leads his team on a rescue mission into the jungles of South America.

Before we meet the big alien bastard that is the Predator, the team arrive at a guerilla encampment, and proceed to gun down everyone in sight. For this scene, Schaeffer utilises his ridiculously huge combat knife to impale a rebel soldier to a tree, before kicking down a bamboo door and shooting just about everyone with a dead-pan “Knock, Knock”.

“YOU'RE FIRED!” TRUE LIES (1994) This time, Schwarzenegger is secret agent Harry Tasker, leading a double life while his family think he's a lowly computer salesman. This secret can't be kept forever, and all of a sudden Harry's wife (Jamie Lee Curtis) and daughter (Eliza Dushku) are mixed up with some dubiously portrayed Middle Eastern terrorists.

The film culminates with a fight atop an airborne Harrier jump jet, which ends with lead terrorist Aziz (Art Malik) caught on one of the plane's missiles. All Harry has to do is press the fire button, but he

chooses to throw in this witticism just before sending Aziz to an explosive demise.

“CONSIDER THAT A DIVORCE!” TOTAL RECALL (1990) Here's another sci-fi actioner, with Arnie playing Douglas Quaid, a bored construction worker who goes to a company that implants fake memories into your brain, giving him a holiday he'll never forget. Before he knows it, he's on Mars, running from the authorities and his now homicidal wife (Shannon Stone). But is it really just a dream or is this really happening? Either way, he'll surely be in trouble after shooting his own wife before delivering this mighty quip.

“LET OFF SOME STEAM BENNET!” COMMANDO (1985).

A classic if ever there was one.

Arnie plays the preposterously named John Matrix, a retired Special Forces soldier whose world is turned upside down when his daughter is kidnapped. When the kidnapper tries to blackmail Matrix into assassinating a South American leader, all hell breaks loose, leading to a fight scene that ultimately sees top henchman Bennet (Vernon Wells) skewered with a steam pipe.

Special mention should also go to this zinger: “I eat Green Berets for breakfast. And right now, I'm very hungry!”

“YOU'RE LUGGAGE!” ERASER (1996) When US Marshall John Kruger (Schwarzenegger) gets embroiled in a plot to sell a top secret weapon to Russian terrorists, he has all kinds of people on his back, from the terrorists themselves to his backstabbing mentor. Thankfully, they all fucked with the wrong Austrian, and even when a crocodile is set on our hero, he not only manages to despatch it without breaking a sweat, but also come up with this so-badit's-good remark.

Words - Andrew Swidenbank Images Benjamin Phillips

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music

live live live live live live live live Photo: Ryan Atkinson

Pendulum Great Hall

01/05/08

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rom the very second that they appear on stage Pendulum just ooze stage presence. They know how to strut; they have got the self-confident casual head band down to an art and just show us the best way to whip a crowd up into a frenzy.

To put it simply, Pendulum own the stage. After an immense build-up by the supporting artist and as the crowd begin to chant in anticipation, the members of Pendulum appear one by one in a highly dramatic fashion.

The point of this tour is to bring more band-driven music to audiences, as opposed to the computer intensive layout previously associated with the band. Tonight’s audience dished out what can be seen as their first tastes of the new Pendulum as the group showcased new

singles Granite and Propane Nightmare, together with further tracks from the forthcoming album. And it works! What we were given was tightly constructed, with the guitar’s rough drive fitting perfectly with the edginess of the more familiar synthetic sounds.

Perhaps one of the most beautiful things about Pendulum is that you know what you’re going to get.

However, when it comes to a live gig, this means the experience is rather impersonal. Nevertheless, throughout the whole night there was no break in the group’s energy and presence. Pendulum are still delivering the same quality of intelligent music while showing us that guitar-driven DnB is surely a move in the right direction.

Amelia Forsbrook

pier to indulge a 6 foot bearded man preaching to them about the darker points of life, electronic samples pumping out in the background. The tiny stage of Barfly was host to a TV broadcast from the reading desk, shown on the television whilst the show continued, both members taking breaks to relax in the armchair

when it all got a bit too much to handle.

A different take on UK hip-hop if that’s what it is, less guns and bitches, more home truths; a refreshing change! Their debut album Angles is out on May 12th.

Review & Photo by Ed Salter

Dan Le Sac vs Scroobious Pip 29/05/08 Barfly

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an le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip shot to fame last year with their track Thou Shalt Always Kill, receiving NME praise despite denouncing it along with the Smiths and Nirvana mid song.

They aren’t your average Barfly indie visitors, their first song dealt with why you shouldn’t slash your wrists. Why? It’s harsh on your sister.

Their on stage furniture; including a TV and reading desk add to the feeling this isn’t just a group, but a statement. All this done in good humour with eyes half open and bottle of wine in hand of course.

The crowd knew exactly what to expect and couldn’t have been hap-

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