Leaving Loved Ones Behind

Leaving LovedOnes

As a famous Tumblr quote once said, “Being apart teaches us to be together.” Therefore, it is no surprise that spending time away from loved ones provides us with the space we need to not only concentrate on ourselves, but also cherish the ones we left behind. After all, it is not until we truly know ourselves, that we can honestly know another.

Flashback to 2018, when I was a meagre 19-year old. I had never been away from home for an extended period of time and the mere thought of it absolutely terrified me. Despite this, a childhood friend and I somehow managed to book a six week tour of the Eastern coast of Australia. It wasn’t until I was at the departures gate of Heathrow airport that the reality of leaving my family, friends and boyfriend for the first time really hit me.

After two planes and twenty-two hours of travelling, I was totally exhausted and slightly emotional. Nonetheless, just a few days into our trip I felt amazing, as I had beaten jet lag and was soaking in the Queensland sun. Although the ten hour time difference made it difficult to contact home, I ensured that I woke up early or stayed up late to fit in a Facetime call (or two). For me, Facetime, Skype or any form of video chatting platform is the key to staying in touch and maintaining healthy relationships at a distance. Once you get over having to see yourself on screen, from some of the most unflattering angles, you realise Facetime is a true gift. It gives you the ability to chat, catch-up and hear the voice of a loved one, all from the comfort of your bed – or in my case a not so comfortable bunkbed in a shared hostel room.

first of many “relationship tests”. It wasn’t long after I got back from my travels that I found myself packing once more. This time it was a bit more permanent, as I was moving COUNTRY to attend university (only Wales, but still!). The idea of moving so far from home for many people in a relationship is difficult, or even unfathomable. Although there’s no denying that moving away for three years will have its challenges, I believe that it can be important. Moving away from home teaches you how to be independent. When in a relationship, it can be easy to get caught in the motions and forget to be your own person. Being apart has taught me not to rely on my boyfriend and has allowed us to build two separate lives, that in turn compliment one another.

However, despite this, there will always be some challenges that a relationship might face when living a long distance apart. Personally, the most note-worthy test of a long-distance relationship is communication and contact. It can be difficult at times to find the moment or means to contact your partner, or even family, when you are away from them. From my own experiences, I recognise that it is easy to get consumed by the drama and dilemmas in your own life and thus neglect keeping in contact with loved ones. In order to try combat such a breakdown in communication, it could be constructive to plan a time or day on which you will FaceTime or Skype your boyfriend/girlfriend. In doing so, you are demonstrating that you care and are committed to making the relationship work, and it creates a structure that is a lot easier to keep to. Also, we are living in the 21st century and social media exists! Instagram, Facebook and all the other apps allow you to send messages, pictures, gifs and memes (basically anything) instantly to the other side of the world. There’s practically no excuse to not share a selfie or a quick update of your day when you’re far away from home.

As well as video calling, there are other more traditional and arguably romantic ways to keep in touch with loved ones. Writing a letter/postcard or sending a care package is a different but fun way to show that you care. Sending a letter can give a more intimate and slightly more detailed insight into your life abroad or at uni, and who doesn’t love receiving post; especially when it’s unexpected.

When leaving loved ones behind it is essential that you remember that it is not permanent, and like everything in life, the distance is only temporary. There will inevitably be highs and lows, but if you are dedicated and develop a routine to maintain contact it will help you stay connected and close. As Theodore Roosevelt once said “Nothing worth having comes easy”- it’s a relationship article, it would be rude not to.