Nothing/Berry Tree

Poems by Ria Patel

Nothing

You had sex with me and

You enjoyed it

But I felt

Nothing.

I tried to turn your pleasure into mine

Told myself nothing wrong this time so it’s fine.

Nothing went wrong this time.

But still I felt nothing.

I turned you on and hoped that

Would turn me on.

But still nothing.

I faked the feelings to myself

So that I would feel them.

But still nothing.

I let you have your fun

As you played with me and I with you.

Berry Tree

'Bury me under the Berry Tree’.

She’s a stranger to me.

Did I ever even know her?

Now she lies under the berry tree.

I cannot seem to remember her.

Did I fabricate pictures in my head?

Did I make her up in my mind?

I don’t know, only that she lies under the tree.

Well, that’s where she wishes to be.

But she’s not really there is she.

No. She’s not.

Because even if she wishes to be,

Life’s crueller than death so she’s

Trapped. Never to be free.

She’ll dig the shovel into the dirt,

Dig her nails into her hand.

Scrape the shovel across the mud,

Scrape the knife as hard as she can.

She’ll empty the ground till its hollow,

Feed herself nothing till she’s empty.

And then, only then,

Will she see the grave she’s dug into the ground.

Underneath the poisonous berry tree.

'Total Knockouts'

by Madeleine Baber