trust exercise by William Zhuang

CW: implied self-harm

Mom came to visit My last week in Williamsburg I asked the landlord For an extra heater Tucked away the things She wouldn’t want to see In return, she washed the fruit And boiled water on the stove . Together we filled the room With conversations we’ve already had Pretended not to hear What laid unspoken in silence Nights before this I slept with a tension She had stood between Neither of us dared to display Kept the knife off my skin Crouched on the top bunk Yet she held her blade I heard her breathing Against my trust since I heard the stress in her chest In defense, my body went Frozen in paranoia Today I came clean to her My mind armored Naked, armor shed Reminders trained into habits She traced over the scars she gave Until the skin under Felt just smooth enough I wanted nothing in exchange But for her to do the same Shed the last layer of metal Show me the trust I need

trust exercise by William Zhuang