Silver Bullet Coat by Michelle Zhang

Silver Bullet Coat

by Michelle Zhang

Nainai had already begun peddling out random articles of clothing she had buried away in boxes and closets . “Why don’t you take this—this will be better than the one you have now . Try on this! Bring it with you when you go back . Take this . Try to give these to your dad for me, will you? It’s never been worn, but he won’t listen to me. Please take it. Can you do this for Nainai?” I shook my head no each time . I kept my hands to my sides, afraid of where I stood . I mentally drew a small square box to lock myself into . Her hair was already short, but she kept fussing about cutting it shorter before the funeral . With the way she rambled, I felt as if she was preparing to take leave as well . The house was perpetually cold, and I often found myself wearing a coat and two layers of pants to bed . Nainai had already moved bedrooms . She didn’t want to be in the old one they shared . But his memorabilia still managed to make its way to the new one, entrapping anyone that entered. Regardless, the first night he was gone, she still complained about how she felt left alone and forgotten despite being surrounded by him . “How could he forget me so easily? Didn’t even bother to visit…” I hoped this was simply a directional error. Could ghosts get lost? If not, was I forgotten too?

“What about this one? Your yeye loved it . It was his favorite coat . He would always go on and on about how warm and light it was . It’d be a pity if someone didn’t take it . Gugu will just donate everything that remains . I don’t want a random stranger taking his things . ” It would be a pity . I reached out to grab it—soft and silver . The coat was gentle and painless . I always believed I was the least favorite, unsure if there was even a space for me to exist . Sweet words and gifts oftentimes felt like afterthoughts . But the coat was all mine . For once I didn’t have to compete . That night, I went to sleep with the coat on .