SUPER MOVES FOR A STRONG FUTURE
ARE YOU A FRIEND OF DOROTHY?
THE CHILLED OUT SEA URCHIN LOVING LIGHT HEARTED QUEER COMEDIAN!
HAYDEN CROSWELLER MESSAGES OF LOVE & HEALING FROM THE SPIRIT WORLD
REMEMBERING THE GLORIOUS MAXI SHIELD
BITE ME NOW LITERATURE MONSTERS & SAPPHIC DESIRE MESSY LOVE & MONEY
CHICHIZ NEW YORK STYLE QUEER ENERGY HITS CANBERRA
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MADE IN AUSTRALIA
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Dwayne Lennox
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Scott Malcolm
Hayden Crosweller
Eric C. Nash
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12 Kirsty Webeck is touring the country and is about to swing by Canberra. We took the opportunity to have a chat about her new show Lost for Words, doing comedy without the sad bits, AI and fish.
In this blood thirsty sapphic feature, we delve into how literature and vampires have allowed women throughout history to explore desire and embrace their sexuality.
29 A deeply personal article; Hayden Crosweller writes about communicating with the spirit world and shares ten things you’ve always wanted to ask a medium.
THERE IS A FAMILIAR CHILL IN THE AIR.
As I look out into our sun-filled courtyard, I notice the last of the tomatoes have withered and died, while the spinach seedlings, which I planted a few weeks back, are breaking through the cool, moist soil. The circle of life and death is happening right before me; it’s one of the reasons I love my garden so much.
I used to be fearful of dying, but as I notice the rhythms of life more and more with each passing year, it has become apparent that it’s foolish to waste my life worrying about the inevitability of death. Being at peace with the fact that any moment could be my last has brought me a new appreciation for every breath, every conversation and every small moment that might otherwise have passed unnoticed. It seems that the dread of death causes more suffering than the actual fleeting moment of dying, and that in the state of death itself, fear becomes nonexistent.
What we believe about death can, of course, deeply shape how we feel about it. Whether someone believes in nonexistence, reincarnation, heaven or a continued life in the spirit world, our ideas about what happens after we die are as varied and complex as the universe itself.
When I first met Hayden Crosweller, a yoga teacher, energy healer and medium, I was instantly curious about his thoughts and experience with death. This young gay man tells me he regularly communicates with people in the spirit world, sharing their messages with loved ones. After plying him with a million questions, I was both challenged and intrigued by his experiences, and quickly realised this was a story I wanted to share with our readers. No matter what you may believe, Hayden’s deeply personal story about the spirit world, connection, coming out, and the challenges he has faced along his path is fascinating at the very least, p29.
I seem to be stuck for a segue about next our feature this issue, except noting that stand-up comic Kirsty Webeck can’t talk to dead people well, not as far as I know, anyhow. If there is a common thread here, it is that she has a strong belief in connection, community and sharing messages of love she does that through her comedy and charity work. We sat down with Kirsty and chatted about her new show Lost for Words, and her desire to make people feel good while giving them a nice escape for an hour. We also discussed her mission to raise awareness about our oceans in peril and all the fishie critters that live there, p12.
You’ll also find vampires lurking in this issue as well and as the stories go, they’re both living and dead, right? In her first feature article, our new entertainment writer, Daniela Koulikov, explores how monster stories and gothic literature have long offered women a secret space to connect and explore sapphic desire, revealing the queer undertones hidden within the dark and seductive pages of treasured books across the ages, p23.
On a sadder note, in February, we lost a true legend of the Australian drag scene. Maxi Shield spent over 25 years strutting her stuff on stage, making people laugh and bringing community together. She had big hair, bigger tits and an even bigger heart. She’ll be sorely missed; vale Maxi, p18.
A few more highlights of this issue include a review of the sweet queer short A Friend of Dorothy streaming on Disney+ p17, Scott Malcolm shares some super super moves on p37, and we explore the intricacies of love and money on p41. And, as always, don’t forget to flick to the back and check in with Dear Rose and Stargazer. So grab a cuppa, curl up somewhere cosy, and dive into our eclectic mix of queer life, death and monsters.
Warmly, Alexander
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Krypto the Superdog first appeared in 1955. He was a Kryptonian test pilot before Superman’s journey, but his rocket was knocked off course and eventually arrived on Earth years later.
FUSE MOVIE PICK OF THE MONTH!
For some boys in the 1980s, animated action hero He-Man may very well have been their first boy crush (hey, no judgement!). For others, it may have been Dolph Lundgren as the muscled hero in the 1987 live-action film version (Frank Langella’s Skeletor was a whole other kink!) Now, a new generation is set to be introduced to He-Man, the superhero alter-ego of Eternia’s Prince Adam, and just as likely fall for his chiselled good looks; this time embodied by Nicholas Galitzine. Mattel is no doubt hoping for Barbie success, but we’ll settle for an irreverent good time.
Speculation has been mounting online as to whether or not Disclosure Day is a spiritual or literal sequel to 1977’s Close Encounters of the Third Kind That remains to be seen, but fans of filmmaker Steven Spielberg are eagerly anticipating the director’s return to the sci-fi genre. Emily Blunt, Josh O’Connor, Colin Firth and Colman Domingo star in a film that’s plot is being kept tightly under wraps; needless to say it involves the revelation that humans may not be alone in the universe.
After her brief appearance at the end of James Gunn’s Superman in 2025, Supergirl (Millie Alcock; House of the Dragon) now gets her own big screen outing; the character’s first since 1984. Unlike her cousin’s Earthbound film, Kara/Supergirl’s adventure takes place in outer space where she embarks on a mission of revenge and justice alongside an unlikely companion. Good news for dog lovers: if you enjoyed the canine shenanigans in Superman, there appears to be more Krypto this time around.
Three years after sweeping the Oscars and the box office with acclaimed biopic Oppenheimer, director Christopher Nolan returns, although travelling further back in history. This time he’s in Homer’s ancient Greece following the exploits of Odysseus (Matt Damon). Like Oppenheimer, The Odyssey boasts an all-star cast (Tom Holland, Anne Hathaway, Robert Pattinson, Lupita Nyong’o, Elliot Page, Zendaya), and is likely to be as grand in scale as Golden Age Hollywood’s historical sword-and-sandal epics though, sadly, unlikely to be as camp.
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By Dwayne Lennox Follow Dwayne on X @TheLennoXFiles
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LGBTIQ Directory
Head to the FUSE LGBTIQ Directory where you’ll find LGBTIQ+ friendly and owned businesses, support pathways, community groups, sport and social activities, and more. lgbtiq.directory
CHROMATIC CIRCLE
LGBTIQA+ ARTS PROGRAM
TUGGERANONG ARTS
137 REED STREET, GREENWAY
A year-long, queer-led creative program offering monthly arts-based Sunday sessions. The Chromatic Circle Arts Program is accessible to people at all levels of creative experience and is designed to build community connection. Each month, participants are invited to explore a different art form, facilitated by queer artists, musicians, filmmakers and other creative producers.
5 LESBIANS EATING A QUICHE
17 JULY — 1 AUGUST
ACT HUB, CAUSEWAY HALL, KINGSTON
Everyman Theatre serves up the award-winning cult comedy 5 Lesbians Eating A Quiche It’s a gloriously absurd, joyfully queer romp through Cold War paranoia, community hall chaos, and the unbreakable bonds of sisterhood and breakfast pastries. Packed with sharp satire, wild audience interaction, plenty of warm quiche and more innuendo than you can shake a spatula at, this fast, funny and fearlessly queer comedy is a guaranteed night of bite-sized bliss.
SATURDAY 30 MAY
THE STREET THEATRE CANBERRA CITY
For one night only and back by popular demand after a sold-out show at CCF 2026, Kirsty Webeck brings you a hilarious night out. She’s smart, warm and genuinely funny without being mean!
FIRED UP
SATURDAY 15 AUGUST
CANBERRA POTTERS
ASPINALL ST, WATSON
An enchanting, fun evening beneath the winter night sky, where you’ll be immersed in the creative world of clay and ceramics. Pottery demonstrations, hands-on activities, artist markets, open studios, delicious food, live music and more.
QWIRE CONCERT
TIME AND IT’S PASSING
SATURDAY 20 JUNE
LLEWELLYN HALL ANU, CANBERRA
A wonderful and inspiring evening of song as Canberra Qwire embraces “time and its passing” with the music of Hildegard of Bingen, KD Lang, Metallica, John Tavener and the magic of the great Ola Gjeilo.
FRIDAY 4 SEPTEMBER
CANBERRA THEATRE
Take a trip to the stars and relive the magic of Elton John live in concert. A two-hour performance and tribute to one of the world’s bestselling artists. ‘Daniel’, ‘Tiny Dancer’, ‘Your Song’, ‘Crocodile Rock’, ‘Goodbye Yellow Brick Road’, and the list goes on.
MORE HAPPENINGS
For more details on the above events and to stay up-to-date with other queer happenings visit us at fusemagazine.com.au/whats-on
If you are experiencing domestic, family or intimate partner violence, our expert team will guide you through planning a safe exit and applying for Protection Orders. We’ll connect you with the right resources and empower you with the knowledge you need to take back control of your life.
Our team also provides legal guidance and support on:
• Separation & divorce
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Heartstopper began as a self-published webcomic in 2016 before becoming a Netflix series in 2022. The show gained global attention for its positive, low-conflict portrayal of queer teen relationships and helped bring queer coming-of-age stories to mainstream audiences.
Equality Australia has advised LGBTIQ+ Australians planning to travel to the United States to think carefully before they start booking flights, saying the Trump administration’s latest visa and border changes have created serious risks, pointing to the rollout of anti-trans policies that will affect how they process travellers.
The new advice says the risk is especially high for people with an X gender marker, people whose documents have changed since birth, and anyone with a visible history of LGBTIQ+ activism or political activity. Earlier this year, the US State Department suspended the processing of passports for applicants who selected ‘X’ as their preferred gender, and removed ‘TQ’ (which stands for trans and queer) from ‘LGB’ (lesbian, gay and bisexual) on its official travel website.
Equality Australia says the guidance is general in nature and not a substitute for legal advice. A key concern is a new US visa rule finalised on 11 March that requires applicants to disclose their ‘biological sex at birth’, even if it conflicts with passport details or other documents, with Equality noting:
“TRAVEL TO THE US CONTINUES TO CARRY SERIOUS RISKS, PARTICULARLY FOR PEOPLE WITH AN X GENDER MARKER.”
DFAT’s Smartraveller site also advises Australians to check the travel advice for the United States before leaving, to get the right travel insurance, and to understand that passport details may not be accepted in every country.
For queer and especially transgender Australians weighing up a US trip, the message is simple: you could face ‘intense scrutiny’ even if you have a valid US visa. Make sure you check all your documents, get specialist advice and do not assume entry or that US customs will treat your paperwork the way Australia does.
Yay, Heartstopper Forever is officially on the way and yes, we’re already emotional. The final chapter of the beloved queer series lands 17 July, with Netflix dropping a teaser on the show’s anniversary last month. Nick and Charlie are facing their biggest test yet long distance, identity and growing up. Creator Alice Oseman promises a “beautiful, emotional send-off.” The gang’s back, so get your tissues ready.
The Measures to combat right-wing extremism in New South Wales parliamentary inquiry report has found that LGBTIQ+ people are among the communities most directly targeted by right-wing extremism. It highlights that threats and violence are fuelled by prejudice, including homophobia, transphobia, antisemitism, racism and sexism; and warns that online radicalisation and public intimidation are helping to normalise hate.
The report also makes clear, however, that this hate is not happening in isolation. Extremist groups are actively working to spread and normalise prejudice, often through online platforms where disinformation and propaganda can be massively amplified. It details how these groups use intimidation, harassment and public stunts to instil fear, including targeting LGBTIQ+ events and spaces. It notes that this behaviour contributes to an environment where queer people and their families feel unsafe participating in public life.
While acknowledging the role of policing and legislation, the report puts a strong emphasis on prevention, community response and addressing the conditions that allow extremism to grow. Equality Australia CEO Anna Brown has welcomed the report and said that the findings should now translate into concrete action:
“The NSW Government must act to ensure that LGBTIQ+ people and other targeted communities are safer, better supported and no longer exposed to preventable harm.”
Australia needs around 1.7 million blood product donations every year to meet demand, yet only about 3% of eligible people donate. A single donation can be split into components that may help up to three patients in life-saving surgery, cancer treatments or childbirth.
Australian Red Cross Lifeblood has introduced new guidelines that allow more gay and bisexual men to donate blood and plasma. Instead of blanket deferrals based on sexuality, the updated approach focuses on individual risk, bringing Australia closer to a model already adopted in countries including the UK and Canada.
Under the new rules, most people in a monogamous relationship, regardless of gender, can donate plasma without a waiting period. Blood donation rules have also been relaxed, though some restrictions remain based on specific sexual health factors. The shift is designed to maintain the safety of the blood supply while removing policies widely criticised as outdated and discriminatory.
Lifeblood says the change is backed by years of research and modelling. According to the organisation, safety remains the priority, with testing and screening protocols continuing to play a central role, stating:
“THESE CHANGES ARE BASED ON THE LATEST EVIDENCE AND MAINTAIN THE SAFETY OF AUSTRALIA’S
BLOOD SUPPLY.”
For many, the update is more than policy. It’s recognition. LGBTIQ+ advocates have long argued that previous rules unfairly excluded donors based on identity rather than behaviour. The move toward individual assessment signals a broader cultural shift in how institutions approach inclusion. There’s also a practical impact. Australia needs a steady supply of blood and plasma, and expanding the donor pool could help meet demand. Lifeblood has consistently reported the need for more donors, particularly as medical use of plasma continues to grow.
Some advocates feel the changes don’t go far enough, pointing out that restrictions remain in place for certain groups. But compared to where things stood even a few years ago, this is a clear step forward.
If you’ve always dreamed of spending an extended period in Europe, get ready for some exciting news! A new travel deal is being developed between Australia and the European Union that could allow Aussies to move to Europe for up to four years.
Currently, Australians can already visit most of Europe without a visa for short trips. Under Schengen rules, Aussie passport holders can stay in participating European countries for up to 90 days (in any 180 days) for tourism, family visits and some business activities, but need special visas for longer stays, work or study.
New discussions between Canberra and Brussels, however, are proposing changes to visa requirements for a ‘two - way labour mobility scheme’ as part of long-running talks on an EU–Australia free trade agreement which have been happening for some time now. The new arrangement in play would allow Australians to live and work across EU member states for up to four years without needing a job offer before they leave, with Europeans getting similar access to Australia.
For now, though, this is still in the negotiation phase. The free trade talks themselves have stalled before, including a near-miss in 2023 when the sides clashed over agriculture and the protection of product names like prosecco and feta.
Any mobility deal would need political sign-off in both the EU and Australia, then be written into domestic law and built into immigration systems, which takes time even when everyone agrees, so we might need to wait a couple of years yet. If you’re keen to head off to Europe for an extended period of time, keep an eye on official updates from the Australian Government and the European Union.
In December 1973, the American Psychiatric Association board voted to remove homosexuality as a mental disorder from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. This change was driven by activism and research — notably by Alfred Kinsey and Evelyn Hooker — which showed homosexuality to be a normal variation of human sexuality rather than a pathology.
Mark Latham, who is currently an independent member of the NSW Legislative Council after being dumped by One Nation, has been ordered to pay $100,000 to fellow parliament member Alex Greenwich for unlawfully vilifying and sexually harassing him online. The case centred on explicit and derogatory comments Latham made across social media, print and radio, including homophobic posts that described Greenwich’s presumed sex life in graphic terms.
The tribunal determined the remarks incited hatred and ridicule based on sexuality, contributing to harassment that affected Greenwich’s safety and wellbeing. Additional statements were found to imply harmful accusations, including suggestions linked to child safety. Latham has rejected the decision, calling it politically motivated and “absurd,” and confirmed he will appeal.
The tribunal maintained that public commentary is part of a politician’s work and subject to legal standards. Greenwich said the outcome reinforces that public figures can be held accountable for unlawful vilification.
The European Parliament has voted to ban conversion therapy, following a successful European Citizens’ Initiative that prompted the Parliament to take action. Since 2024, the ECI has gathered over 1.2 million signatures from EU citizens advocating for a ban on conversion therapy.
Before the vote, the European Economic and Social Committee (EESC) held a debate on the matter that led to the adoption of two opinions: one calling for stronger enforcement of the EU’s LGBTIQ+ Equality Strategy for 2026–2030, and another advocating a ban on conversion therapy across the EU. While seven member states, including France, Portugal and Spain, have already banned conversion therapy, speakers at the EESC highlighted that the practice continues in some parts of the EU. During the debate, EESC President Séamus Boland said:
“THESE SO-CALLED CONVERSION PRACTICES OR THERAPIES ARE NOT ONLY DAMAGING; THEY REPRESENT A PROFOUND VIOLATION OF HUMAN DIGNITY AND FUNDAMENTAL RIGHTS. LET’S BE CLEAR: THERE IS NOTHING THAT NEEDS FIXING OR CURING. THE FOCUS SHOULD BE ON TRANSFORMING THE SYSTEMS AND ATTITUDES THAT DENY PEOPLE THEIR INHERENT DIGNITY.”
The decisive vote to ban conversion therapy will now be forwarded to the European Commission, which holds the authority to propose binding legislation.
The federal government has betrayed LGBTIQ+ people around Australia who will again be rendered invisible in 2026 because the census won’t ask appropriate questions about who they are and how they live.
Equality Australia CEO Anna Brown.
Now more than ever, the queer community is coming together, which is so beautiful in such a horrible landscape of what’s going on in the world.
G Flip, Australian singer, songwriter and producer from Melbourne, Victoria.
KIRSTY WEBECK HAS BECOME ONE OF AUSTRALIA’S MOST LOVED COMEDIANS AND, AS IT HAPPENS, IS ALSO A DELIGHT TO TALK TO. I SAT DOWN WITH HER TO CHAT ABOUT LIFE, BEING A QUEER COMEDIAN, SEA CREATURES, AND HER NEW SHOW LOST FOR WORDS, WHICH IS CURRENTLY TOURING THE COUNTRY.
Before comedy took over Kirsty’s life, like so many others preceding her, she worked in jobs that were not aligned with her true passion, including a stint in the public service and also as a kindergarten teacher. But that all changed in 2013, when Kirsty fell in love with making people laugh after doing just a single five-minute set at the end of a comedy workshop. Soon after, she launched straight into writing and performing a full-length show. Employing her public relations background, she sold over 100 tickets to her first major performance in Canberra. No stranger to hard work, Kirsty used this show as a launching pad to build a professional stand-up career from the ground up.
Over the years, Kirsty has based her comedy career on sharp observations, warm delivery and a genuinely joyful brand of humour. Known for turning the everyday into something sharply funny, she has become one of Australia’s most in-demand comics, with a style that feels playful, inclusive and easy to love.
She has toured nationally with the Melbourne International Comedy Festival Roadshow, appeared at major gala events including the Opening Night Comedy Allstars Supershow and The Oxfam Gala, and over the years has become a regular presence on Australian and New Zealand television. Her credits include Question Everything, The Weekly with Charlie Pickering, The Project, Just For Laughs, 7 Days and Guy Montgomery’s Guy Mont Spelling Bee, where she recently broke the record for the most episodes won. She has also released two solo specials, with Silver Linings on Paramount+ and I’ll Be The Judge Of That on YouTube.
In 2025, she made an unusual addition to her life as a comedian, becoming an ambassador for the Australian Marine Conservation Society. While it might sound like an odd pairing — stand-up and sea cucumbers — Kirsty’s passion for our oceans is as deep as the Pacific. Her 2025 tour show, Everything I Need To Say About Sea Creatures, brilliantly blended her devotion to marine conservation and comedy, making audiences laugh and (hopefully) take note of an ongoing crisis below the sea.
Kirsty Webeck is currently touring the country with her new show Lost for Words, bringing her trademark ‘comedy without the sad bits’ to stages across Australia.
“I WANT TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL BETTER AND GIVE THEM A NICE ESCAPE FOR AN HOUR.”
By Daniela Koulikov
YOU’RE OFTEN DESCRIBED AS ONE OF THE MOST POSITIVE COMEDIANS IN THE BUSINESS. IS MAINTAINING THAT UPBEAT PERSPECTIVE A CONSCIOUS CHOICE, OR IS IT YOUR DEFAULT?
Honestly, I think it’s just part of my personality. I never feel like I need to try and remain positive. There’s definitely dips, and it’s been a very difficult industry to forge a career in, but over the years I’ve maintained positivity as I’ve been slogging it out to get to where I am now.
In terms of my content, my brain is naturally geared towards things that are a bit light-hearted and often frivolous. I always had a passion for getting into comedy. I want to make people feel better and give them a nice escape for an hour. My writing has always been heavily skewed in that direction.
I really enjoy it and I like the feedback that I get from people, that they get to have a really fun time for an hour and not think about their problems or the stressors in the world.
WHAT KEPT YOU MOTIVATED WHILE YOU WERE SLOGGING THROUGH IT?
I really wanted to be a professional comedian and that was the trick. I see it now when I’m talking to comedians who are coming through. I see the ones who really, really want it, for whatever reason. They’ll stop at nothing to make that dream a reality.
I feel really lucky that I found the thing that I was so passionate about and that I really wanted to do with my life. I know a lot of people never find it or find it much later than I did.
Just knowing it was what I wanted to do was enough motivation in of itself. It’s not dissimilar to starting out in any other career. You have to build the tools, the reputation and the fan base. In another industry, that would be your customers. It all takes time. You do have to slog it out for years as you get better at writing jokes, and while people start finding your work and enjoying it.
For me, it was basically keeping my eye on the goal, which was to be a full-time stand-up comedian. Once that was achieved, I was like, what’s next? I want to be performing for as many people as possible. I want my audiences to grow every year. I want to start touring internationally.
SPEAKING OF TOURING INTERNATIONALLY, YOU’VE GOT A MASSIVE STRING OF DATES ACROSS NEW ZEALAND. HOW DOES YOUR BRAND OF AUSTRALIAN HUMOUR TRANSLATE? DO YOU HAVE TO SWAP OUT ANY SPECIFIC AUSSIE REFERENCES?
I have a connection on the inside! My partner is from New Zealand and I spend a lot of time with my partner and her family, so I know exactly how they operate.
I have a bit at the beginning of my current tour show where I make a little bit of fun of her accent and how I speak as well. I have been rolling that around in my head, because they won’t understand that joke. They’ll just think we’re talking normally!
I’ll change local references and all that kind of stuff, but I always do my research. It’ll be a whole different kettle of fish when I finally get over to the UK, which I’m hoping to do next year.
WHERE WILL YOU BE GOING IN THE UK?
I want to try and go to London and do the comedy club there, maybe organising a mini tour around some of the major cities. I’m very excited to finally get to do that.
THAT IS EXCITING! IN TERMS OF AUDIENCE, DO YOU FEEL LIKE MOST OF YOUR AUDIENCE IS QUEER? DOES IT MATTER TO YOU WHETHER THEY ARE?
No, it doesn’t matter to me at all and I find that the majority of my audience is not queer. In some parts of the country where I tour, there’d be very few queer people, if any, in the audience. I never really developed a queer fanbase. In the early days, when I was starting out, I probably had more people from the queer community coming out to see me. As the shows got bigger and as I started moving into TV, I noticed they somewhat dropped off.
Maybe a reason for it is that I don’t talk a great deal about being queer in my comedy. I talk in broad brushstrokes about things that I think would be relatable to anyone who’s just out there, living their life. I don’t know who’s going to be in my audience and I want my material to be accessible enough to everybody.
Yes, if you’re from any minority group, people expect you to represent them in the way they view to be the correct way to be represented. I’ve had this conversation with some of my friends, who are from different cultural backgrounds, have disabilities, or are also in the LGBTQIA+ community.
We do our craft to the best of our ability, in good faith. I’ll keep creating what I’m creating. We’re in this era now, where we post on social media and people are in your DMs saying you should’ve done it differently. You can’t please everyone.
I choose causes that I really, really care about. The work of the places I partner with has to be very closely aligned with my values. Time is finite and there’s different ways to support different organisations, which I do throughout the year. Some are in my capacity as a comedian and others are just in my capacity as a human being living on this earth.
I’m currently an ambassador for the Australian Marine Conservation Society. I’m so passionate about the ocean and protecting it.
The one right off the top of my head, is whenever I take my dog for a walk on the beach here in Melbourne, I always take a little bag and I pick up any rubbish I see. So many people repeatedly thank me for doing it, but I’ve never seen them start to do it.
One day, I will find a lovely way to motivate people to join me. I’ve got to come up with a friendly one liner to encourage them to take part. Maybe, “it would be awesome if you joined me and next time you came down, you brought a bag”. I like the idea of quietly trying to change other people’s behaviours by leading by example and this one is so funny to me because it’s not working. Who knows, maybe they’re annoyed I’m taking the litter out of the water! I’m also passionate about the education side of things with the Marine Conservation Society, especially pollution in waterways and the demise of species.
I’m in a snorkelling group here in Melbourne. Someone posted that there had been a wedding proposal staged at the marine sanctuary where we snorkel. They’d used plastic rose petals and threw them into the air when the proposal happened. A few of us jumped into cars and drove over to pick up whatever we could.
Things like that are a massive disconnect. There were so many people involved in the process, from the organisers to the couple, that had a disconnect between the beauty of the marine sanctuary and pumping this plastic directly into it. I don’t think people are malicious; I don’t think they thought, I’m going to propose to the love of my life and choke some fish.
But I’d like to think that if someone had said to them, hey, this is a marine sanctuary and you’ve released all this plastic into it, the penny would’ve dropped.
Anyway, we have a really cool project coming up that I can’t say too much about, but it’s made me realise how important it is that we get this information out to people. Comedy is such a gentle way to do it.
I find comedy is a powerful tool for helping people feel less defensive about learning something new.
HOW HAS YOUR COMEDY CHANGED OVER THE COURSE OF YOUR CAREER? ARE THERE TOPICS YOU USED TO AVOID THAT YOU NOW FEEL COMFORTABLE TACKLING?
Yes, absolutely. I feel lucky that I started comedy when I was 30, because I was old enough to know my limitations. I was always careful to talk about low stakes topics, when I knew I didn’t have the skills to tackle anything heavier. These days, there’s lots that I discuss in my comedy in a gentle way, but I know how to do that now.
My current tour show has a loose theme in it: I’m very anti-AI and that’s linked with my thoughts on the environment and saving it. It’s also due to my love for art and human creativity and thinking. That’s why I’m not using ChatGPT, Claude, or any kind of AI to generate art for posters, or anything like that.
So, I have this gentle theme in a silly show. It’s talking about the advancement of technology and how I’m hopeful about it. It’s not doom and gloom though, there’s a hopeful message in my show.
Ten years ago, I wouldn’t have touched on a topic that theoretical. I wouldn’t have known how to weave it in a light way, to get people thinking.
It’s called Lost for Words This is the show that I speak the most about my relationship with my partner in. We recently had our eight-year anniversary, so I start the show there. We went on a holiday to Western Australia last year and we visited a few places that are interesting to people with science backgrounds, which neither of us have. So, I have a few bits in my show about that. It’s very silly and it has this loose seam of, let’s stop getting our phones and computers to do everything for us. Let’s get back into interconnecting with each other and experiencing our environment. Let’s see the world as much as we can, rather than having our heads stuck in our phones. It’s all tackled in a very light-hearted way.
HOW DO YOU
A bit of inside knowledge for you: we all love performing in Canberra, not even only me. That’s got nothing to do with the fact I grew up there. There are so many great places to perform, especially when you’re touring, and I’ve been a touring comedian for most of my career now. It’s probably my favourite place in the country to perform. The audiences are so great. They give you so much goodwill. I love Canberra audiences. I’m always absolutely pumped to get back there and do shows. Even though I don’t know many people that live there anymore, Canberrans have always been so generous in getting around me. Which is why I’m coming back for an encore show!
Kirsty Webeck is currently touring Lost for Words around the country and will be at The Street in Canberra on 30 May. For more tour dates visit kirstywebeck.com
“COMEDY
THERE WAS A TIME WHEN ASKING, “ARE YOU A FRIEND OF DOROTHY?” WASN’T NOSTALGIA. IT WAS SURVIVAL.
A coded question wrapped in charm. A way of finding your people without announcing yourself to the wrong ones. That history hums quietly beneath Lee Knight’s short film A Friend of Dorothy, and it’s what gives this tender story its emotional backbone.
On the surface, the premise is deceptively simple. Dorothy, played with razor-sharp warmth and a razor-sharp tongue by Miriam Margolyes (in typical Margolyes way), is a widow whose days have narrowed into routine. Pills. Crosswords. Silence... and hard to open cans of prunes. When seventeen-year-old JJ accidentally kicks a football into her garden, an unlikely friendship begins.
In lesser hands, this could have tipped into sentimentality. What director Lee Knight does instead is far braver, he slows down. He trusts stillness. He lets the relationship unfold in glances and pauses rather than grand declarations.
There’s a remarkable early moment when JJ waits alone in Dorothy’s sitting room and his eyes land on François-Xavier Fabre’s The Death of Abel It isn’t underlined or explained. No one spells out its symbolism. But what JJ sees isn’t theology or tragedy, it’s a body. A half-naked man draped across stone, cloth barely concealing him. The camera lingers just long enough for us to understand that JJ lingers too. His gaze shifts from casual curiosity to something more charged, more internal. In that quiet beat, the audience begins to glimpse the sexuality he hasn’t yet found the language to claim.
It’s the first crack in the armour. The first sign that this story isn’t just about companionship, it’s about identity, and the dangerous intimacy of seeing yourself reflected in art before you’re ready to be seen in life.
By Eric C. Nash
Margolyes is magnificent. Not in a showy, awards-clip way. In a lived-in way. Her Dorothy is sharp, mischievous, occasionally prickly, but never reduced to a symbol of loneliness. She’s specific. She’s layered. She’s still curious about the world even as the world has largely stopped noticing her. You feel decades in her silences.
The emotional centre deepens when JJ discovers a copy of Bent by Martin Sherman in Dorothy’s library. For those unfamiliar, Bent is Sherman’s searing play about the persecution of gay men in Nazi Germany. That book isn’t just a prop. It’s a bridge. It signals something unspoken. A recognition. In that moment, Dorothy’s home shifts from neighbourly curiosity to sanctuary.
The film doesn’t announce JJ’s inner world with dramatic confession. Instead, it allows objects, a painting, a play, to speak first. That restraint is where the film earns its emotional impact. JJ, played with quiet sincerity by Alistair Nwachukwu, isn’t immature or sickly sweet. He’s observant. Guarded. Searching. His growing ease in Dorothy’s presence feels organic, not engineered.
What moved me most is that this isn’t framed as a grand mentorship speech. It’s smaller. Softer. More truthful. Dorothy doesn’t “save” JJ. She creates space. And sometimes, for a young person wrestling with identity, space is everything.
Watch A Friend of Dorothy now on Disney+
By Maxwell Elliff
BIG HAIR.
TITS. BUT AN EVEN BIGGER HEART. THAT’S HOW I’LL BE REMEMBERING MAXI.
The Australian drag scene has lost one of its most beloved and colourful queens, with the recent passing of Maxi Shield, aged 51, on 21 February 2026. Yet Maxi’s presence on stages ranging from local to global will be a legacy not quickly forgotten.
Born Kristopher Elliot in 1974, Maxi was a powerhouse performer on Sydney’s ‘gay golden mile’ (Oxford Street) for nearly three decades. She blended that old-school classic Aussie camp with modern polish and rarely appeared without her signature (and hard-to-miss) breastplate. She delighted crowds, with a twinkle in the eye, a quick wit and an infectious laugh that you couldn’t help but love.
Maxi’s career and legacy speaks for itself and shows what a workhorse of a queen she truly was.
She performed at the closing ceremony of the Sydney 2000 Olympics and two years later at the opening ceremony of the Gay Games. She shared the stage with Madonna for her Rebel Hearts Tour and was named Entertainer of the Year at the 2015 DIVA Awards (think the Oscars but for Sydney drag). She used her platform for good within the community, appearing in ad campaigns for safe-sex and advocating for victims of domestic violence, a cause very near and dear to her.
Global recognition hit when Maxi was one of ten queens cast in the first season of RuPaul’s Drag Race: Down Under. An instant fan-favourite, she delivered a spot-on and hilarious Magda Szubanski impersonation in the Snatch Game, and wowed RuPaul with a Vivienne Westwood-inspired look constructed entirely out of laundry bags.
Her icon status was cemented after whipping out a fake microphone during her lip-sync to Vanessa Amorosi’s ‘Absolutely Everybody’ and sending home the much younger fellow Sydney queen Etcetera Etcetera.
Even with success, Maxi never lost her humility… or her desire to reach new heights. She starred in the indie comedy The Winner Takes It All in 2023 a future cult classic in Australian gay cinema thanks in no small part to Maxi’s delectable scene-chewing. Last year she made her debut at the Edinburgh Fringe festival in the Kath & Kim drag parody Fountain Lakes in Lockdown (as Sharon Strzelecki of course).
But her role was cut short after being hospitalised for a swollen gland that was later diagnosed as throat cancer. Despite radiation and chemotherapy treatments, Maxi would sadly succumb to the illness just five months later in her hometown of Sydney.
I was lucky enough to score front row seats to countless Maxi Shield shows, working for years as a bartender at The Oxford Hotel where Maxi was our resident queen. Week in, week out, Maxi showed up and delivered. She was a consummate professional and ever punctual (a rare quality amongst drag queens considering the MANY hours needed to get stage-ready), yet totally light-hearted and joyful. When she grabbed the microphone, you knew you were in safe hands.
She was never afraid to be self-deprecating often inviting the audience to guess which one she was in the Fatty and Skinny show on Fridays. She could have you in stitches from a single facial expression. And she loved to close out a night with Wilson Phillips uplifting banger ‘Hold On’. Whenever I hear that song I can’t help but think of Maxi.
It takes a special kind of person to leave a lasting impact and Maxi’s impact on the community is undeniable. She was an entertainer through and through… and a Queen with a capital Q. But behind the wigs, behind the lashes, behind the outrageous costumes and the over-sized breastplate Maxi Shield had a heart of gold. I’m very thankful for it.
By Dwayne Lennox
Jonathan Groff, who appears in A Nice Indian Boy, was among the first openly gay actors to headline a mainstream HBO drama. His role in Looking (2014–2016) helped increase visibility for queer men on television.
An Oscar nominee for Best Documentary, filmmaker Ryan White’s Come See Me in the Good Light follows poet laureate Andrea Gibson as they face a terminal cancer diagnosis. First diagnosed in 2021, Gibson undergoes a hysterectomy and chemo only for the cancer to return. As their body fights the disease, Gibson’s mind remains as sharp as ever and they and wife, fellow writer Megan Falley, take each day as it comes; Gibson’s ultimate goal is to once again perform her poetry live. Emotional, insightful, articulate and raw, White’s film is a fitting tribute to Gibson as both artist and person.
Fresh from her first Oscar nomination, Elle Fanning heads to the small screen as the titular Margo; a single mum who, like so many of us, is experiencing financial difficulty. And like so many, for various reasons, Margo takes to the internet and OnlyFans, where she experiences surprising success but at what cost? Michelle Pfeiffer, Nick Offerman (as Margo’s divorced parents), Nicole Kidman and Greg Kinnear feature in what is a high-wattage cast for a TV comedy-drama; Fanning, Kidman and Pfeiffer are also executive producers, along with Pfeiffer’s husband David E. Kelley, a powerhouse of ’90s television.
A
Somewhere between ‘home is where the heart is’ and ‘you can never go home again’ sits Homebodies, which sees Darcy (Luke Wiltshire) reluctantly return to his rural hometown to care for his estranged mother Nora (Claudia Karvan) only to discover his mother has been living with a secret housemate: Dee (Jazi Hall), the teenage ghost of Darcy’s pre-transition self. Not so much a ghost tale as a story of reconciliation, between mother and son, and between one’s past self and their present, Homebodies consists of just six episodes and a runtime of 70-ish minutes, so you can devour it in one sitting.
Adapted from the stage play of the same name, director Roshan Sethi’s rom-com follows Naveen (Karan Soni; Safety Not Guaranteed), an Indian-American doctor who, having already come out to his parents, struggles to find romance. That is until he meets Jay (Jonathan Groff; Looking), a photographer who just happens to have been raised by Indian parents. Of course the path to true love never did run smooth, with cultural issues and Naveen’s own hang-ups complicating matters. Sweet, charming and heartwarming, A Nice Indian Boy is a cross-cultural rom-com that’s perfect for your next at-home date night.
Strathnairn arts 90 Stockdill Drive, holt STRATHNAIRN COM AU info@strathnairn com au
by Daniela Koulikov
Australian writer Daniela Koulikov’s debut poetry collection, Into the Light, is a tender and honest journey through love, heartache and self-acceptance.
This beautiful collection of poems traces the path from self-doubt to inner peace, inviting readers to discover what joy means to them, beyond the expectations of others. Into the Light is available on Amazon.
What if the hardest person to be honest with… was yourself?
Monsters have always been the perfect excuse to talk about what women really want, especially queer women.
For more than a century, women have turned to literature to explore the desires society told them to suppress.
From the haunting intimacy of Carmilla to the dangerous seduction of Dracula, and into today’s unapologetic dark romance, these stories reveal far more than monsters — they expose evolving attitudes toward female and queer desire. Daniela Koulikov traces how literature, monsters and fiction have given women permission to question, resist and ultimately claim their sexuality.
By Daniela Koulikov
THROUGHOUT HISTORY, WOMEN HAVE BEEN EXPECTED TO BE QUIET, GENTLE, LOVING CARETAKERS.
Unless a woman was married, sex and desire were not meant to enter the equation; and if you were married, then you would probably be expected to submit to your husband at his pleasure.
If this was not where your desires lay, where would you turn to for escape? Many women went to books.
Over the centuries, literature has provided a space for women to explore their desires and challenge traditional gender norms. Contemporary dark romance novels, such as Haunting Adeline (2021) by H. D. Carlton and Butcher and Blackbird (2023) by Brynne Weaver, delve openly into sexuality and gender roles, expanding on the groundwork laid by gothic literature.
Earlier works like Carmilla (1872) by J. Sheridan Le Fanu and Dracula (1897) by Bram Stoker — considered scandalous and subversive — explored desire, romance and taboo in ways that were unsettling and terrifying at the time. They opened the gates for conversations about female desire and, more broadly, female liberation.
These novels are some of my personal favourites and you might be surprised to learn about their sapphic gothic roots.
Join me as we explore 150 years of literature that has allowed women to escape, question, desire and embrace their sexuality.
In 1872, the ideal woman followed a rigid, suffocating standard. She was expected to be an “angel in the house” submissive, charming and devoid of sexual agency. If a woman felt otherwise, she might be diagnosed with hysteria or moral insanity.
Despite the UK Married Women’s Property Act passed in 1870, women were still largely considered the legal property of the men in their lives, namely their fathers and husbands. It was also difficult for a woman to leave a marriage.
The Divorce and Matrimonial Causes Act 1857 had changed the landscape by allowing divorce to be a matter for civil courts, and therefore reducing the price and making it more accessible for women. Yet divorce proceedings still favoured men. They only had to prove adultery, whereas women had to prove additional grounds, including cruelty.
It was in this environment, where the idea of women having autonomy brought deep social anxiety, that the novel Carmilla by Irish author Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu was released in 1871.
The novel explicitly explores the link between vampires and female desire, particularly women’s desire for each other.
The story follows a lonely young woman, Laura, and the fascination between her and the beautiful and seductive Carmilla. As they grow closer, Laura experiences an inexplicable illness, through which she uncovers Carmilla’s secret: Carmilla is a vampire. The relationship between the two women can be interpreted as an allegory for lesbian desire, and the terror of unregulated female sexuality.
What is most frightening about Carmilla is what she represents. She is not just a vampire, but rather a representation of how female desire grows when it is unrestricted by male authority.
In an environment where women were expected to be pliant and gentle, Carmilla is neither. She is both masculine and feminine. She is beautiful and soft.
“SHE USED TO FOLD ME IN HER ARMS... AND HER LIPS WOULD SOFTLY TOUCH MY CHEEK, AND HER BREATH WAS LIKE THE PERFUME OF A GARDEN.”
(Carmilla, Chapter 4)
Carmilla was also possessive and dangerous.
“YOU ARE MINE; YOU SHALL BE MINE; YOU AND I ARE ONE FOREVER.”
(Carmilla, Chapter 4)
In 1872, a woman without a male guardian was a threat to the social hierarchy. Carmilla predominantly travels alone and lives for her own satisfaction. Laura’s feelings for her equally challenge gender norms. Not only does she desire Carmilla, but she also feels repulsion for the vampire. If the vampire is an allegory for female desire, then Laura’s fascination represents her true feelings, while her repulsion is a result of internalised societal shame.
“I WAS CONSCIOUS OF A LOVE GROWING INTO ADORATION, AND ALSO OF AN ABHORRENCE. THIS MIXTURE OF SENSATIONS PERPLEXED ME. BUT THE MAGNETISM OF THE MONSTER’S GAZE WAS TOO POWERFUL FOR ME; I LIVED IN HER, AND SHE WAS THE ONE OBJECT OF MY EXISTENCE.”
(Carmilla, Chapter 4)
“HER HAND LAY ON MINE... AND ITS TOUCH, I CAN’T DESCRIBE HOW, SENT A THRILL THROUGH ME... I WAS AT ONCE FASCINATED AND REPELLED.”
(Carmilla, Chapter 4)
As the novel continues, it becomes clear that Laura’s illness is sexual in nature, and she can only be cured once the source of the illness has been eliminated. Even though Laura and Carmilla explore their relationship, their desires for each other are complicated and overall deadly.
The novel ends with the death of Carmilla, at the hands of men who are barely present throughout the narrative. Although Le Fanu had created a space for women to validate their desire, he ended the book by reinforcing traditional gender norms. Male authority corrects the disruption that female desire has created.
Dracula is a gothic tale about a young English lawyer who travels to Transylvania to meet a new client, Count Dracula. The Count is an ancient vampire who then travels by ship to London and attacks Jonathan’s fiancée, Mina, and her friend, Lucy Westenra. The count feeds on them and the story concludes with Jonathan and his friends saving Mina before she transforms into a vampire.
Women in Dracula can be divided into two categories, commonly considered the virgin/whore dichotomy. In the 1890s, the “New Woman” was a feminist social movement, where women challenged gender expectations through seeking independence, suffrage, and sexual autonomy. The anxiety of the way society would be impacted through acceptance of the “New Woman” appears clearly in the novel.
Mina Harker represents the virtuous, subservient woman. She adopts the tools of the “New Woman”, as her intelligence and agency is noted; however, she stays loyal to patriarchal values and uses those tools to ultimately serve men. Lucy Westenra represents a hypersexualised woman, who has broken free from social constructs and embraced her female desire, the “New Woman” gone wrong. Lucy transforms from a virtuous young woman, intent on marriage, into an aggressive, hyper-sensual vampire.
“THE
SWEETNESS WAS TURNED TO ADAMANTINE, HEARTLESS CRUELTY, AND THE PURITY TO VOLUPTUOUS WANTONNESS.”
(Dracula, Chapter 16)
Although both are bitten by the count, Mina is saved by her fiancé; whereas Lucy is violently killed, with a wooden stake driven through her heart by her fiancé. This is described as returning her to her rightful state.
“THERE, IN THE COFFIN LAY NO LONGER THE FOUL THING THAT WE HAD SO DREADED... BUT LUCY AS WE HAD SEEN HER IN HER LIFE, WITH HER FACE OF UNEQUALLED SWEETNESS AND PURITY.”
(Dracula, Chapter 16)
Lucy reflects societal anxieties about women’s sexual agency. A sexual woman was viewed as a perversion, and her death reinstates the perceived natural order. As in Carmilla, female desire must be eliminated for society to remain stable. Female sexual agency should be constrained, and if left unregulated, will cause terror. At the end of both novels, even though women experience and explore desire, male ownership continues to preside.
In the 1800s, the “monster” was a cautionary tale, and women’s desire was a disease that would easily spread if not regulated. These days, desire is no longer an illness or death sentence, but rather a normal aspect of everyday life. The monster itself has undergone a significant shift. While Le Fanu and Stoker used the supernatural veil of the vampire to represent the intrusion of sin into a pure woman, modern dark romance has removed the supernatural. The monster is now a human being that has transgressed and leaned into monstrous traits and actions.
Books like Haunting Adeline build upon the stalking themes found in Dracula, and allow Adeline, the protagonist, to understand her own desires instead of relying on a male collective to save and define her. Books like Butcher and Blackbird take it a step further, by allowing the woman to be equally monstrous without a need for purity or taming.
The role of men in these novels has also evolved. In Victorian texts, men often functioned as saviours and agents of control. In modern dark romance, they act as enablers, propelling the heroines to accept desires they previously felt uncomfortable exploring. While the Victorian monsters held a mirror to women, showing them a forbidden glimpse of desire, modern equivalents, such as Rowan in Butcher and Blackbird, encourage reflection and embracing of these desires. Rowan explicitly rejects the ‘pure’ version of Sloane, stating:
“I DIDN’T FALL FOR THE WOMAN YOU PRETEND TO BE. I FELL FOR THE ONE WHO LEAVES BODIES IN HER WAKE.”
(Butcher and Blackbird, Chapter 22)
He doesn’t look to dissemble her desires, as it is the foundation of their intimacy.
Society’s understanding and openness to female desire has changed immensely over the last century and a half. Purity culture still exists in our society. It may be more subtle and go under a different name, such as the tradwife movement; however, legislatively, women have greater freedom and autonomy than we used to. Women are encouraged to explore their desires on an individual level and consider what suits them. Society does not demand the removal of women experiencing desire, as it is not largely considered a threat to society at large.
Even today, women still turn to books as a tool to navigate the space between empowerment and expectation, and literature continues to reflect and explore our understandings of ourselves and how we fit into society. We no longer need to crush out women’s desires. We can let them live.
DO YOU IDENTIFY UNDER THE UMBRELLA AND FIND IT DIFFICULT TO ACCESS MAINSTREAM EXERCISE SERVICES?
All In! is an inclusive exercise space for LGBTQIA+ and Gender Diverse people. Driven by Holly Hazlewood, a queer Exercise Physiologist, with the aim to provide a safe and welcoming clinical exercise setting for the queer community.
We understand some of the barriers to accessing mainstream healthcare services, and our goal is to help you prevent, treat and/or manage any chronic conditions through physical activity in a queer-friendly exercise environment.
Every new client will have an initial consultation with our exercise physiologist, where your health and injury history will be documented. From there, a personalised exercise program will be designed to address your areas of concern and personal goals. Your program will be delivered in a one-on-one, ongoing basis from a proud member of Canberra’s LGBTQIA+ community.
HOME TO HUNDREDS OF LOCAL & AUSTRALIAN ARTISTS, DESIGNERS & MAKERS SHOP 156 WESTFIELD BELCONNEN AT THE TOP OF THE SPIRAL STAIRCASE
What happens when coming out isn’t the only thing that challenges everything you know about yourself?
In this deeply personal feature, Hayden Crosweller — medium, energy healer and yoga teacher — shares his journey from the confines of religious expectations to the freedom of embracing both his queer identity and his connection to the spirit world. With moments of heartbreak, revelation and unexpected love from beyond, this article invites you to step into a narrative where self-acceptance, spirituality and the bonds that transcend this life all intertwine. Prepare to be moved, challenged and inspired to find your own sense of authentic belonging — here and beyond.
By Hayden Crosweller
WHEN I WAS 17 YEARS OLD, MY DEAD, CATHOLIC HOMOPHOBIC GRANDFATHER APPEARED IN FRONT OF ME. HE TOLD ME THAT HE WAS SAFE, THAT HE WAS OKAY AND THAT HE LOVED ME FOR WHO I WAS.
Up until this moment, I had been quietly at war with myself. I was trying to reconcile my faith with the growing, undeniable truth that I was attracted to men. I had been taught what God thought about gay people, yet here was my grandfather in the spirit world offering something I hadn’t felt before unconditional love for who I was.
His messages from the other side didn’t answer every question, but they shifted something within me. The shame I’d been carrying and the lump in my throat no longer felt quite as solid. The idea that being gay and being connected to something spiritual were incompatible started to crack.
My name is Hayden (he/him), and I’ve spent the last 14 years bringing through messages from loved ones that have passed away into the spirit world. However, to understand how I got here, I’d like to share with you the world I grew up in and the beliefs that shaped how I saw myself.
Growing up, Catholicism and Christianity shaped how I saw the world and myself. Sunday Mass was a staple for my family, and the world would have ended if we missed any other special day in the Catholic calendar. On top of this, from the ages of 7 to 17, I attended a Christian camp most school holidays. So, religious dialogue became a core part of my social connection and framework of thinking. It wasn’t all prayers, singing ‘Kumbaya’ and Bible study. When at the holiday camps, I loved spending time immersed in nature, hanging out with friends and playing soccer in the gym.
However, when I was 17, two parts of me collided and shook everything I thought I knew about myself, and about God. I was struggling to deny my attraction to a guy I was working with. Around the same time, I was in a Bible discussion group at holiday camp when the topic of “gay people” came up. Someone asked the youth leader what he thought. He said, “I have a friend who is gay, and I’m ok with that, but I don’t want to hear about it. I don’t want to know that part of his life”.
This wasn’t the love I’d been taught that God had for people. It wasn’t Christ’s open arms. It wasn’t even acceptance.
It was tolerance I like you, but only under these conditions. This moment scared me. It made me fear what I was feeling, and it fed the war already building inside me.
It wasn’t long after this experience that my grandfather passed away and appeared in front of me with his messages of love.
The war ravaged within me for several more months, but I knew something had to change. I had to decide what to do. I knew that if I came out, I would be rejected by my family and my religion, losing two integral parts of my life. But if I hid the truth of myself, the black hole in my heart would keep eating its way through me until I was an empty shell.
Emboldened by my grandfather’s love and acceptance, I came out of the closet and, as expected, I was met with closed hearts by the religious people in my family and the Catholic and Christian communities I was a part of. Thankfully, not everyone met me this way.
“I LOST A VERSION OF HAYDEN I WOULD NEVER GET BACK, AND I LOST A RELIGION THAT I THOUGHT WOULD ALWAYS BE THERE FOR ME.”
There were many people in my family who took it incredibly well, and their love and support anchored me in a time when it felt like everything was falling apart. So, in one awful night, which ended with me being kicked out of home, I lost a version of Hayden I would never get back, and I lost a religion that I thought would always be there for me.
That night left two seismic holes in me. One was learning to understand, love and accept my sexuality; but having lived in a religious bubble, I didn’t even know what that could look like.
The other was trying to figure out who I was spiritually, because religion had taught me that psychics and mediums were charlatans. With no clear spiritual home to call my own, I spent a lot of time combating the voice within me that said, “play by the rules” and “don’t stand out any more than you currently are”, “don’t be more different”.
Overnight, the shame I felt about being gay had quietly transferred onto the spiritual part of me too.
But life had other plans than letting me sink into those holes of shame. I moved from Sydney to Canberra and found a fun, loving and kind group of friends that loved me as my gay self, without batting an eyelid.
On top of this, I regularly started being visited by people that had passed, and the only thing that stopped them from talking so loudly was relaying their messages.
So, I started reading for friends, family members and the occasional stranger when their loved ones asked me to communicate something important. Within a few years, I had found a home in no religion, but within a community of rainbow humans and the spiritual practices and rituals that made my heart sing.
However, something about my spirituality still felt incomplete. Unresolved. It felt like the rejection I had experienced from the Catholic and Christian faith was a festering wound, and ignoring it only made it worse. On top of that, from all the loving conversations I was having with people in the spirit world, it just didn’t seem right.
My grandmother’s sister is a Catholic nun and to be frank, I had never engaged in a conversation about faith as an adult after coming out. However, with the wound festering one day, I brought up the topic of sexuality in front of several of my religious family members, her included.
Without missing a beat, she said with love and conviction in her tone, “Jesus loves everybody. As long as you are happy, that is what matters”.
Hearing this put a puzzle piece back in its place. It gave me permission to re-integrate the parts of my faith growing up that I thought I had lost forever.
Even with that piece returning, there was still an ongoing question quietly shaping how I moved through the world: how much of me do I share, and how much of me do I hide?
For the longest time, I wrestled with the reality of being both a gay man and a spiritual man. I’m not pretending to have all the answers for other queer spiritual humans out there (or for those teetering on the edge of exploring their spirituality) but from my experience of working with the spirit world and the thousands of messages I have passed on from family members, friends and even animals that have crossed over, I can say you are not alone, you can take pride in your queer spirituality, and every part of you is loved by the spirit world.
“OVERNIGHT, THE SHAME I FELT ABOUT BEING GAY HAD QUIETLY TRANSFERRED ONTO THE SPIRITUAL PART OF ME TOO.”
Over time, my work with the spirit world started to show me something I hadn’t expected. Every connection I made and every message I received became my new ‘Bible verse’.
The spirit world has taught me that true love is unconditional; that when we move from this world into the next we gain deep clarity about our life, our choices and the effect we have on those around us, good and bad.
Several years ago, I was doing a mediumship demonstration (where I stand in front of an audience and bring through information and messages from those that have passed away) when an audience member’s mother came through.
The first piece of information she gave to validate herself was that in life she would not have liked me because I was gay. As I mentioned this, the man I was speaking to guffawed and confirmed that his mother would call us “the gays” and in life she held deep fear and judgement of queer people.
Her son was not a gay man, but his best friend growing up was, and during this public reading and in front of 50 people, she apologised for every unkind thing she had said about gay people, and more, and wanted her son to know that she had changed.
“THERE IS SOMETHING WITHIN US THAT ALREADY KNOWS HOW TO FIND ITS WAY BACK TO CONNECTION.”
Additionally, to make up for her shortcomings in life she was working as one of her son’s guides to help him overcome the challenges and struggles he was facing at the time.
A few years ago, I went through an incredibly emotional separation from my now ex-partner. In the wake of that experience, I spent months recovering my physical, mental and emotional health, and it was clear that I needed space and time away from romantic relationships to heal.
So, I said to the spirit world, “Please let me know when it is a good time to step back into the dating world”.
Well, several months later I was cooking in the kitchen, and I turned around to see my grandfather standing beside me (again) and he says, “Hayden, I’m helping to bring a new partner into your life. He won’t be in your life forever, but he will love you and care for you and teach you to love again”, and within two weeks I met someone I consider a soul mate.
As foretold, we eventually parted ways, but my once homophobic Catholic grandfather became one of my biggest supporters from the world of spirit.
Our loved ones in the spirit world are not just humans; they can also be our animals.
Recently, I made a new friend in a beautiful gay man, Brian, that only 15 months ago lost his best friend a border collie named Buddy that he had rescued on the side of the road when he was only a puppy.
When we first met, I noticed that Brian was still processing through the grief of losing a soul mate. I love hearing stories of people receiving messages from loved ones (including animals) that are in the spirit world, so I asked him if he had heard from Buddy since he had passed, which he had not.
A few days later Brian and I caught up and he turns to me and says, “Remember how you asked me if I had heard from Buddy?”. He goes on to explain how out of nowhere, in the days after our conversation he started finding Buddy’s fur in his apartment, which Buddy had never lived in.
He also found fur on his bed, a bed that he had never slept on because it was a brand-new mattress. As well as finding fur in his car, which had been cleaned dozens of times since his passing. I’m a healthy sceptic when it comes to these things, so I prodded.
Not once since our conversation had Brian pulled out any blankets or material that would have had Buddy’s fur on it, and he detailed how the apartment floor gets swept three times a week by a robovac, so in no way could Buddy’s fur have just turned up randomly.
Our conversation had clearly opened a door in Brian’s mind, and a simple question was thrown out into the universe: “Buddy, are you there?”; and within days this question was met with a resounding: “Yes! I’m still here!”.
“OUR LOVED ONES IN THE SPIRIT WORLD ARE NOT JUST HUMANS; THEY CAN ALSO BE OUR ANIMALS.”
To be honest, what I do is not important. A psychic or mediumship reading is not the important part of this dialogue. The important part is what comes from it; the realisation that we are not alone in our human experience, that we have a team of people (and animals) in the spirit world looking after us and that true God-consciousness doesn’t judge or reject, it loves, fully and without conditions.
If a reading resonates with you, great. If it doesn’t, that’s equally ok. This isn’t about convincing you of anything, it’s about inviting you into connection. Connection to something bigger than ourselves.
Connection to the moments, people and places that remind you that life is more than just what we can see. And a small heads up, it’s not always going to be a permanent “feeling”. We’re here in this life to know love, and sometimes we need to experience the absence of love to fully appreciate it when we have it.
I might be a medium that connects to those that have passed, and you may never feel called to get a reading from me or from anyone else, and that’s absolutely ok. But, if there’s one thing I’ve come to trust through all of this, it’s that we’re not as disconnected from life as we sometimes feel. There is something within us that already knows how to find its way back to connection, to meaning, and to the people we love, whether they are here physically or not.
For me, I experience this in quiet moments of meditation, through time in nature, by slowing down enough to listen to the voice within. Maybe that process looks different for you, but whatever form it takes, it has a way of meeting you where you are and gently pulling you back towards yourself.
Hayden Crosweller is a Medium, Energy Healer, Yoga Teacher and the facilitator of Men’s Yoga Canberra, which is community focused on connection, embodiment and inclusive nude practices for men. If you would like to find out more about Hayden, visit his websites: haydencroswellermedium.com or mensyogacanberra.com.au
Check out 10 things you always wanted to ask a medium!
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We are a free, friendly, non-judgemental and confidential specialist sexual health centre.
To help maintain social distancing across the clinic, we now have an appointment system.
Please do not come to the clinic if you do not have an appointment as you may not be able to be seen.
Call 02 5124 2184 and one of our sexual health nurses will discuss your needs and book an appointment as necessary.
To book a Mpox (monkeypox) vaccination call us on 5124 2184
> You can get PrEP prescriptions at Canberra Sexual Health Centre
> Condoms and PrEP are the most effective ways of stopping HIV
> Syphilis and Gonorrhoea diagnoses are going up!
> Condoms are still the best protection against most STIs
> Sexually active men should consider STI checks every 3-6 months PEPINAN IfEMERGENCY beenyouthinkyouhave exposedtoHIV, asPEPshouldbestarted maysoonaspossible,but betakenupto72hoursafterthe exposure.
Building 8, Level 4, Canberra Hospital Call 5124 2184 or check our website for opening hours at health.act.gov.au/CSHC
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People are often curious about what it’s actually like to communicate with the spirit world. Some people want to know whether mediums really see spirits standing in front of them. Others wonder if loved ones stay connected to us after they pass, whether animals have spirits too, or if I spend my days being haunted by random ghosts popping into my kitchen while I’m trying to make a cup of tea.
Over the years, I’ve realised there’s a lot of mystery, fascination and misunderstanding around mediumship. Honestly, I get it. Before I fully stepped into this path myself, I had many of the same questions.
For me, mediumship isn’t about theatrics or trying to convince anyone of anything. At its core, it’s about connection, healing, love and the reminder that we may be far less alone than we sometimes feel. So, I thought I’d answer some of the questions people ask me most often including a few they’re usually too nervous to say out loud.
When the spirit world communicates with me, a whole other world opens up in my mind. I can liken it to an already created black and white painting representing the human world, onto which someone paints a new world of colour, but both worlds fully complement each other.
When a person from the spirit world initially makes themselves known to me, I see and feel their presence. After that, they communicate with me through feeling, symbolic imagery, hearing words or phrases, smells, and, oddly enough, sometimes tasting things. Just as we use our external senses to experience the world, we have internal senses that can perceive the spirit world.
My ability to communicate with spirits is a combination of genetics, personal interest and intentional cultivation. Many of my ancestors, including my great-grandmother, were mediums, and my father is a great medium in his own right. I was born with a natural ability for receiving psychic and mediumship information. After the spirit world made itself known to me, I expressed my interest in developing this natural ability to my guides and loved ones in the spirit world. I have now spent the last 14 years developing my intuitive gifts through meditation, mindfulness practices and studying spiritual traditions.
Everyone enters this life with a unique purpose; for some, communicating with spirits is part of that. I don’t think everyone needs to communicate with people who have passed away, but it’s an option if someone has a natural ability or they have a calling. I feel what I can do is probably a natural ability everyone has; in some people, like me, it’s stronger and more developed. Learning or developing an ability, like communicating with the spirit world, takes commitment to self-understanding, a whole lot of trust and time.
At the start of my day, I meditate for anywhere from ten minutes to an hour to clear my energy and invite the spirit world closer. In this process, my own personal thoughts, feelings and emotions melt away. I see and feel that I am surrounded by pure white light, and a great spaciousness opens up within me, like an expansive blank white canvas. It’s onto this canvas that the spirit world shows me words, sounds, imagery and feelings.
4.
DO SPIRITS EVER TURN UP WHEN THEY WERE NOT EXPECTED, OR WON’T GO AWAY?
Yes, however, this only happens if I need to be aware of something and if I need to get a message to someone who has not booked a session with me. If someone books a reading, their people know to show up on the day.
5.
DO YOU EVER HAVE CASUAL CONVERSATIONS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE PASSED?
I definitely have casual conversations with my guides, family, friends and animals in the spirit world. But, just as strangers don’t just walk into my house uninvited, I don’t let random spirits just pop in when they feel like it either.
6.
IS PROTECTING YOUR SPACE FROM NEGATIVITY IMPORTANT, AND HOW DO YOU DO THAT?
Space clear of negativity is incredibly important even if you don’t talk to spirits. I protect my energy and my space by setting clear boundaries with myself and with the spirit world. Same thing as creating boundaries that leave work at work and personal stuff at home. Additionally, I regularly meditate to clear my energy and the energy of my living and working spaces. I also use a mixture of essential oils, bush flower essence sprays, and nature-based tools and products such as crystals, beeswax candles and non-toxic cleaning products to lift the energy of my space. I can liken this to going to the beach. If there is rubbish, air, noise or water pollution, it won’t be a pleasant or peaceful experience. However, if the water, sand and air are clean, it will likely be a rejuvenating experience.
7.
WHEN YOU CONTACT ANIMAL SPIRITS, HOW DO THEY COMMUNICATE BACK?
When we’re in the spirit world, there is a common language understood by everyone, including animals. So, animals actually communicate the same way human spirits do through imagery, feelings, words, smells and tastes.
8.
By
HAVE YOU EVER RECEIVED A MESSAGE THAT YOU DID NOT WANT TO RELAY?
No. I always set the intention to only bring in information that is loving, kind and empowering to my clients.
9.
DO LOVED ONES IN THE SPIRIT WORLD HELP US AFTER THEY PASS, AND HOW?
I believe spirits do watch over us and can help us in the physical world. This is one of the key messages I get from people in the spirit world they are with us and want to support us to live our best lives. However, as in life, we often have to ask for help or accept an offer of help. Our spirit guides won’t intrude unless we ask or welcome them in to our lives. This help often comes through intuition, dreams or meaningful coincidences.
10.
AFTER EVERYTHING YOU’VE EXPERIENCED, WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE HAPPENS WHEN WE DIE?
In essence, I believe life continues in a new form. Expanding on this, the most common stories I hear from those in the spirit world are: firstly, at the time of their passing, they are surrounded by everyone who looks after them (even if they weren’t the best human in life) this includes loved ones and guides. In this process, they get the help they need and are given the space, time and energy to heal from any traumas, illnesses or mental health struggles that may have accompanied them in their life.
Secondly, I believe people who have just passed away go through a ‘life review,’ where they reflect on the choices they made, the choices they didn’t make, the people they helped and the people they hurt, and create pathways to resolve any unfinished business with those still on Earth or those already in the spirit world. Lastly, they establish their new life in the spirit world finding a purpose, activities, things to learn, and people to assist, to name a few things, and they spend time co-creating the next chapter of their soul’s life, which might involve reincarnating to continue their soul’s development on their journey towards enlightenment.
If you would like to have a reading by Hayden, visit his website for more details: haydencroswellermedium.com
Building 8, Level 4, Canberra Hospital Call 5124 2184 or check our website for opening hours at health.act.gov.au/CSHC
By Scott Malcolm Director of Money Mechanics
YOU DON’T NEED SUPER POWERS TO MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR SUPERANNUATION BEFORE THE RULES CHANGE.
Superannuation rules are about to change, but if you’re quick, there’s still time to take action to benefit your future self. With caps increasing, Payday Super coming in and higher taxes for big balances, this financial year is a unique chance to contribute under the current rules and reduce your tax.
The good news is you don’t need to be a super expert or finance wiz, because it’s just a matter of taking a few practical steps to secure your financial independence, whether you’re solo, partnered or planning a legacy.
Contribution limits are set to rise and very large balances will face extra tax. Meanwhile, a new system called Payday Super will push employers to pay superannuation at the same time as your wages, rather than on a quarterly basis (the public service already does this!). Even though some of these changes kick in later, what you do before 30 June this year will shape how quickly your super grows and how much tax you pay.
Think of each financial year as a once-only window. When 30 June passes, you lose that year’s “room” to contribute to super under the current caps. You can’t go back and top up a past year. That’s why getting clear on where you stand now is such a powerful move.
MAKING EXTRA CONTRIBUTIONS TO YOUR SUPERANNUATION IS ONE OF THE BEST WAYS TO BUILD LONG-TERM WEALTH. EVEN SMALL ADDITIONAL CONTRIBUTIONS CAN GROW SIGNIFICANTLY OVER TIME DUE TO THE POWER OF COMPOUNDING.
Start by logging into myGov and your super fund. Check your balance, how much your employer has paid so far this year and what investment option you’re in. If you’re juggling multiple jobs, gigs or contracts, your contributions might be scattered across a few funds or lower than you expect.
Add up all your employer super, plus any salary sacrifice or personal deductible contributions. That total counts towards your “concessional” cap for the year. If you’re under the current cap of $30,000, you may still have room to tip more in before the end of the financial year and potentially claim a welcome tax deduction.
If you have some spare cash and room under your cap, you can make a personal contribution to your super and then lodge a form with your fund to claim it as a tax deduction. The contribution is generally taxed at 15% inside super, which is often lower than your marginal tax rate. That means the same dollar can do double duty — reducing your tax bill today and boosting your retirement savings. It’s a win, win action.
For example, if you earn a moderate income and put an extra 1,000 or 2,000 dollars into super before 30 June (and claim a deduction), you could shave some tax off this year’s return and give your future self more compounding over time. The earlier that money lands in your super, the more years it has to quietly grow in the background.
If you’ve already maxed your concessional cap but still want to build long-term savings, you can look at “non - concessional” (after - tax) contributions. These don’t give you a deduction, but future earnings inside super can still be taxed more gently than in your own name. This can be especially useful if you’ve built up savings, received an inheritance, or sold an asset and want to quarantine some of that cash for your retirement.
Money is relational and super balances can differ wildly from person to person. It’s common to see one partner with a big super balance and the other with very little because of life experiences or less regular worklife. Super rules give couples some levers to even things up.
SPOUSE CONTRIBUTIONS: Check whether you can make a spouse contribution to a lower-income partner’s super and possibly receive a tax offset. Some people can also “split” a portion of their concessional contributions to their partner’s account. That can help balance things out over time, which matters later when you’re both drawing retirement incomes and planning your legacy.
CO-CONTRIBUTION: You could also look at the Government Co-Contribution scheme, where you can make a $1,000 contribution and get a $500 boost from the Federal Government if your or your partner’s income is under $47,488 per year.
Not many people are there, but if your total super balance is nudging the multi-million mark, new rules will bring extra tax on part of the earnings above certain thresholds in the coming years. If that’s you, it’s worth tracking your total balance each 30 June across all funds and getting personalised advice. You might decide to grow more of your wealth outside super, or restructure how your retirement income is set up, or again split money to a partner or spouse if this is suitable.
Money is rarely just about numbers. It’s about safety, autonomy, healthcare, housing security and the freedom to live authentically at every age. Super isn’t perfect, but it remains one of the most tax-effective ways to build financial freedom in retirement and beyond.
So before 30 June, choose one small action: check your balance, run the numbers on a top-up, have a money date night with your partner, even up balances, or book time with an adviser who actually understands queer lives as well as tax law.
The LGBTIQ.DIRECTORY includes listings and display advertising for LGBTIQ+ friendly or owned/operated businesses and support organisations that wish to connect with the community. With the support of our partners, we also offer free listings for local LGBTIQ+ social and sporting groups.
ENCOURAGING AND SUPPORTING RICH AND FULFILLING LIVES IN OUR COMMUNITY
Imagine you’ve found the one, you’re building a life together and then bam the what-ifs creep in. What happens to your hard-earned savings, that family heirloom, or your business you started before they came along, if things go south? A Binding Financial Agreement (BFA) isn’t just a prenup for the rich and famous; it’s your relationship’s quiet guardian, letting you define “fair” on your terms before life throws a curveball. In today’s world, asking your partner to have a BFA is increasingly viewed as a proactive, responsible step rather than a sign of mistrust. Far from predicting the end of a relationship, initiating this conversation is about financial transparency and mutual protection.
Talking about money in a relationship isn’t always easy. Whether you’re moving in together, planning a wedding, building a life as partners, or redefining your relationship after separation, conversations about finances can feel often uncomfortable, sometimes even confronting. However all relationships can benefit from clarity, transparency and mutual understanding. Because clear expectations don’t weaken a relationship they can protect it.
When people hear the term “prenup”, it often brings to mind celebrity relationships or high-net-worth couples. But in reality, financial agreements are for anyone who wants to feel secure and aligned in their relationship. In Australian family law, these agreements are called Binding Financial Agreements (BFAs).
And importantly, they are available to: married couples, de facto couples and couples at any stage of their relationship. BFAs recognise that every relationship is different and allow you to create an agreement that reflects your life, not a one-size-fits-all model.
A Binding Financial Agreement is a legally enforceable document that sets out how assets, liabilities and financial resources will be divided in the event of a relationship ending.
By Jacqui Curtis
Despite the nickname “prenup”, a BFA isn’t just something you enter into before marriage. It can be created before a relationship, during a relationship or after a separation. Think of it as a shared plan (created together) that brings clarity and reduces uncertainty, no matter what the future holds.
There are situations where additional clarity can be incredibly valuable, such as:
• Protecting assets built independently before the relationship
• Clarifying financial arrangements in blended or chosen family structures
• Supporting parenting arrangements that may not follow traditional models
• Safeguarding business interests or shared investments
• Creating certainty where legal recognition may differ across time or circumstances
A BFA allows you to define what fairness looks like for your relationship, not what a court might assume later.
A Binding Financial Agreement must meet strict legal requirements to be enforceable, these include:
• The agreement must be in writing and signed by both parties
• Each person must receive independent legal advice
• There must be full and honest financial disclosure
• The agreement must comply with the Family Law Act
Because of these requirements, it’s essential that BFAs be prepared carefully under the guidance of an experienced family lawyer. Despite this, however, a BFA is more than just a legal document, it’s a way to create clarity, protect what matters and move forward together with confidence.
Canberra’s Men’s Nude Yoga has a new owner, a new name and a new clothed class! Local yoga teacher Hayden Crosweller took over in July, bringing a decade of experience and a background in Hatha, Vinyasa and Yin. Hayden joined what is now known as Men’s Yoga Canberra in 2024 and guides both nude and clothed men’s yoga classes that blend strength, flexibility and
Research shows an active sex life is linked to improved wellbeing, lower stress levels, better sleep and increased feelings of connection. These benefits are strongest when sex is part of a healthy lifestyle and aligned with your emotional needs.
If you’ve been hearing whispers about Doxy-PEP lately, you’re not alone. It’s one of the newer additions to the sexual health toolkit, offering some people more flexibility in how they look after their sexual health and wellbeing.
Doxy-PEP stands for doxycycline post-exposure prophylaxis. It involves taking a single 200mg dose of doxycycline (usually two 100mg tablets) within 72 hours after sex. Done correctly, it can reduce your chances of getting syphilis and chlamydia by around 70-90%. It’s not a catch-all, though; it doesn’t prevent HIV and isn’t very effective against gonorrhoea.
So, who’s it for? Right now, the evidence supports its use mainly for gay and bisexual men, trans women, and some non-binary people assigned male at birth who are at higher risk of these infections. That might be you if you’ve had a recent STI, or if you’re heading into a period of more sex than usual think travel, festivals, or a particularly busy weekend.
IMPORTANT: DOXY-PEP ISN’T SOMETHING TO SELF PRESCRIBE. YOU’LL NEED A CONVERSATION WITH A DOCTOR OR SEXUAL HEALTH CLINICIAN TO WEIGH UP THE BENEFITS, POTENTIAL SIDE EFFECTS, AND HOW IT FITS WITH YOUR BROADER SEXUAL HEALTH PLAN.
Getting it is fairly straightforward once you’ve had that discussion. Doxy-PEP requires a prescription, which you can take to a pharmacy. Not every GP will be across it just yet, so you may need to raise it yourself or seek out a sexual health service that’s familiar with prescribing it.
EVEN WITH DOXY-PEP ON BOARD, REGULAR STI TESTING STILL MATTERS, AND CONDOMS AND HIV PREP CONTINUE TO PLAY AN IMPORTANT ROLE. THINK OF DOXY-PEP LESS AS A REPLACEMENT AND MORE AS AN EXTRA LAYER OF PROTECTION.
For some, it will feel like a good fit. For others, it won’t. Either way, it’s worth knowing your options and having the conversation.
Hookup apps continue to be discussed in reference to mental health. They can bring a mix of emotions, ranging from excitement, connection and validation to rejection, sadness and loneliness sometimes all in one night. For many gay and bi men, these apps offer a way to find intimacy and community. But if they become a main source of connection, problems can quickly surface. Research shows that LGBTIQ+ people face higher rates of mental health challenges and that strong social connections improve mental health. Hookup apps are not inherently bad, they just need to be used mindfully and in balance so you can enjoy them in ways that support your life.
Be intentional before logging on. Know what you’re looking for sex, connection, distraction. Be honest about it.
Set boundaries with your time. Decide when and how long you’ll use apps so they don’t quietly take over your life. Don’t measure your worth in responses. Silence, rejection or slow replies say more about others than they do you. Learn your emotional limits. If you start feeling upset, flat, anxious, rejected or desperate it’s time to take a break. Keep your world bigger than the apps. Authentic in-person connections with family, friends and community matter; when it comes to being balanced and happy, hookups should add to your life, not replace it.
Know when to say no. You don’t owe anyone your body, attention or time. Be polite, but no explanation is required. Protect your space. If someone is treating you badly, block and move on; you don’t need to tolerate disrespect. If using apps regularly leaves you feeling bad, consider taking a longer break. Talking with a friend or a professional can stop you spiralling or internalising negative experiences.
The takeaway here is not that hookup apps are bad. It is that context matters. If casual sex is part of a broader, rounded life, it will feel energising. If your sense of self-worth starts to depend on it, or you find yourself caught in constant comparison and are compulsive scrolling, it can take a toll.
With the loss of Cube Nightclub last year after more than 20 years, Canberra’s newest LGBTIQA+ venue ChiChiz is running hot and thriving.
Founded by three friends, this new bar pays tribute to queer nightlife, drawing inspiration from the famous and iconic ChiChiz on Christopher Street in New York City.
ChiChiz is a much-needed new home for Canberra’s queer community to come together and celebrate. Their calendar is packed with DJs, drag shows, cabaret, art pop-ups and community takeovers each event promising to be louder, prouder and more fabulous than the last. Whether you’re dancing the night away or soaking up the atmosphere, ChiChiz is designed to help you celebrate your shade of queer joy.
The ChiChiz team describes the new venue as a “come as you are” space, built on inclusion, celebration of queer culture, creativity and genuine connection.
If you have not yet found yourself at ChiChiz, they’re located at 32 Northbourne Avenue, Canberra. Check out their gig guide at chichizbar.com.au
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As we head into winter, the coming months will bring many of us a mix of emotional moments, clarity, liveliness of spirit and feelings of unpredictability, making this a good time to reflect and work to balance our lives in a more holistic way. The cooler energy around us invites us to slow down, have honest check-ins and practice self-care, leading to healthier, happier lives.
January 21 – February 18
June and July put your future plans and sense of belonging under the spotlight, as the universe asks you to balance your needs around family and work expectations. Opportunities from new friendships may present themselves. TIP: Listening deeply is a superpower.
April 21 – May 21
A surge in creativity will have you thinking bigger, making you reassess your direction, but the coming Mercury retrograde period may require you to revisit old assumptions before leaping into anything new. TIP: Consider a trip to clear your head and regroup.
July 23 – August 23
You may find this winter feels more energetic and uplifting than in previous years. July gives you extra space to shine as you receive a surge of loving energy, translating into confidence and positivity. TIP: This period is the perfect time to do some much-needed healing.
October 24 – November 22
An unexpected shift in your perspective may help you step outside familiar patterns, while the full moon gives you the opportunity to get a broader view of where you are heading. TIP: Growth will flow faster and more naturally if you stop gripping so tightly to outcomes.
February 19 – March 20
The next two months invite a quiet confidence, especially around the daily rhythms that keep you steady. Both new moons support your creativity; Mercury also asks you to notice what your body is telling you. TIP: Small adjustments now can make a big difference later.
May 22 – June 21
A fresh chapter is brewing for those who want to take up the challenge, as attention shifts to the real value of money and what it means in your life. The stars will ask you to refine your plans and be more flexible. TIP: Words carry power, so choose them wisely.
August 24 – September 23
Check in on habits that are damaging or not working for you. June favours connection and community, while July may bring up some old emotional dynamics; their resurfacing can help you refine your boundaries. TIP: Not everything has to be perfect, dear Virgo.
November 23 – December 22
Intimacy and emotional honesty come into play, especially around what you give and what you receive. Mercury retrograde may stir up old patterns, but it also offers opportunities to create space for more balanced arrangements. TIP: Be open to unexpected suggestions.
March 21 – April 20
A shift in momentum around self and emotional honesty may mean a change in direction. You will feel a lift in your confidence, however Mercury retrograde in Cancer may stir up old family matters that will need your patience as well. TIP: Use your fire, but aim it carefully.
June 22 – July 22
This is a deeply personal stretch for you, as the universe steers you toward self-reflection. July brings a chance to reconnect with your needs, but only after you give yourself room to understand what requires changing. TIP: Answers you seek arrive in silence.
September 24 – October 23
Money versus heart comes into focus, while highlighting the need to make adjustments as your path opens up before you. You’re encouraged to take things slowly and let events unfold naturally. TIP: Grace and timing matter when dealing with life’s challenges.
December 23 – January 20
Relationships are the main focus as you seek to understand what compromise and commitment look like in your life. The winter slowdown may reveal some emotional needs that deserve more self-care. TIP: Speak with an open heart and let the chips fall as they may.
By Rose Pappalardo
Dear Rose,
I met a guy online and we had a great connection after chatting for a few weeks. I was shy to share photos, but he convinced me to. After I did, he blocked me. Now my self-esteem is shattered and I’m heartbroken. How can I trust guys again? Matt
Dear Matt,
First, I want to give you a big virtual hug and say, what he did speaks to his character, not your worth. You were brave to trust; that’s courage, not failure. Block him, delete the chat and remind yourself that the right person will love the way you look. Rebuild by taking a break from apps and spending time with those who love you. When you’re ready to dive in again, establish new rules. Use a current photo on your profile, don’t be pushed to share if you’re not ready, and prioritise authenticity. Trust your instincts and remember you’re enough.
Dear Rose,
I’ve been with my partner for just over 6 years, and recently she has not been herself and seems to be constantly agitating for a fight. When I ask what’s wrong, she gets angry, so now I find myself just trying to keep the peace and avoid any conflict with no idea what’s going on. What should I do? MM
Dear MM,
Six years in, you know your partner’s weather patterns, so when the climate suddenly changes, it can be both unsettling and a worry. Constant prickliness and agitation usually means something deeper is brewing underneath. She may not even know herself what it is, or maybe she’s so deep in fear that she doesn’t know how to talk about it, let alone deal with it.
I’ve said it thousands of times before, communication is key to healthy, happy and robust relationships. Maybe instead of “What’s wrong?”, try “I love you. I’ve noticed you seem really on edge lately. I’m here to listen when you’re ready.” If she just can’t talk about it, suggest a session with a relationship counsellor, so there’s a safe container for whatever this is. Be supportive and always loving, but remember you don’t have to be the emotional shock absorber all the time; that also means checking in with yourself. Are your needs being met, or are you disappearing to keep the peace? Love includes you too, MM.
Dear Rose, I’ve been struggling with depression related to world affairs. My use of devices has become habitual, and despite my efforts, I can’t seem to stop engaging with social media and the news cycle. Do you have any tips that might help? Tam
Dear Tam, You sound overloaded. The social media and news cycle can make it look like the whole world is on fire, and stopping any habit is not easy.
I suggest you start by putting some “speed bumps” between you and doomscrolling. Remove news and social media apps from your home screen, turn off any push alerts and set times to browse avoiding on waking up and before sleeping. Reduce those times over a few weeks until you reach a point where they no longer consume you. It will also help to change the types of content you look at think art, science, wellbeing, or maybe mindful practices so the algorithm starts showing you new content that is better for your mental health.
You’ll, of course, want to grab that phone out of habit. This is the most powerful moment to teach yourself something new. Every time you manage to break the cycle, take a mindful breath and ask yourself, “Do I need to look at this now?” You’ll start undoing a habitual action and create the change you’re seeking.
Anne Lamott
A
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Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.”
New York Times best-selling American author; she writes about the human condition and finding joy.
Need help or someone to talk to? Support is available for anyone in distress by phoning 24 hours QLife 1800 184 527, Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Meridian’s counselling services on 02 6257 2855. If you require relationship support or services call Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277
If you need help or have a question email : dearrose@fusemagazine.com.au
Hukup Australia is designed to connect Australians based on shared interests, values and preferences. Hukup Australia provides a user-friendly and secure environment for individuals to discover meaningful connections.
