Op.Ed : Rebel Wilson’s Forced Outing

There are a dizzying number of questions to consider. When is the right time? Who do I tell first? Will people think different of me? Will this decision affect the rest of my life? The already frazzled mind can play tricks on you and make you start to imagine all of the worst-case scenarios. Trust me, I’ve been there. But if we add to that the additional pressures of being in the public eye, then gee-whizz, it is no wonder many people will choose the agonising comfort of staying firmly hidden in the closet. So when a public figure makes the decision to come out, it is hard not to be impressed. Take Hollywood A-Lister and home-grown comedic star Rebel Wilson, who announced publicly in June that for the first time, she is in a relationship with a woman. Taking to Instagram, Wilson, 42, declared to the world,

Accompanying the post was a photograph of Wilson and LA leisure-wear designer Ramona Agruma, who is indeed the spitting image of a ‘House of Mouse’ heroine. A fairy tale ending for sure — but the circumstances that led to Wilson’s joyful proclamation tell a darker story. The sinister villain is no doubt Sydney Morning Herald columnist Andrew Hornery — who had landed the scoop and was ready to cash in. Hornery, having somehow discovered Wilson’s relationship news ahead of time, reached out to the Pitch Perfect star’s PR team stating his intention to run an article essentially outing Rebel in two days’ time and boldly asking for a comment from the star herself. But as the old saying goes, if you play with fire, you might get burned. Taking the bull by the horns (pun intended), Wilson “gazumped” Hornery by sharing the news directly with her millions of online followers (11.3 million to be exact) and thus slaying the monster in one fell swoop. Hats off to Wilson for making this life-changing and self-affirming decision. Sharing your true self to the world is no easy feat. But it begs the question: was Rebel ready? Hornery’s ticking clock ultimatum surely forced the star’s hand in a way that was at best unethical and at worst pure evil. Hornery being an out gay man himself, should have known better. Coming out is a very private and personal journey with many winding paths and crossroads along the way. The repercussions of being ‘outed’ too soon can be detrimental to one’s psychological and emotional wellbeing. I came out at the age of 20. It was exciting. It was terrifying. It was everything in between… and it was slow. The first people I told was while backpacking in Thailand. Let me set the scene: New Year’s Eve… Full Moon Party… cheap vodka Redbull buckets. Maybe a cheeky mushroom shake thrown in the mix for good measure. Culminating in a messy and tearful confession to two girlfriends I had set out from Sydney with (as well as a lovely British guy I had met hours earlier and had, regrettably, attempted to smooch). Saying it out loud for the first time was like nothing I had ever felt before — and it made me want to do it again. Back home a few weeks later and I would slowly pull close friends aside (starting with my female friends) at parties and share the news. I told most of my guy friends (who were all straight) in one go after calling them to the pub I worked at and sitting them down, with beers in hand, at the end of my shift. Every reaction I got back was overwhelmingly positive and filled me with a mind-blowing wave of relief and sheer joy. Most people said they were surprised but not shocked, which I took as a compliment. But the most important thing to me was being able to do it on my own terms and in my own time. Thankfully most people I told remained tight-lipped, so each time I shared my news with someone for the first time I got to experience their genuine reactions and acceptance. I was incredibly lucky — not a single response from friends and family was anything but positive. Did Rebel Wilson get this chance? Did she have the time to pull long-time friends aside and experience them sharing in her joy? Did she get around to telling her relatives, the people who have known her since childhood, before she was forced to announce her coming out to the world? I hope so, but I am doubtful. Wilson posted on Twitter that “it was a very hard situation but trying to handle it with grace”. With grace, she surely has and like all good fairytales, I wish her a happy ever after.

Rebel Wilson with her new girlfriend Ramona Agruma .