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BREATH OF THE WILD, LETTER FROM AMERICA, ANZAC DAY DEBATE//

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The Team EDITORS Eleanor Danenberg, Lisandra Linde, Liam McNally SUB-EDITORS Elise Christopher, Ainsley Ewart, Kayla Gaskell, Brenton Griffin, Jack Harrison, Cameron Lowe, Patrick O’Loughlin, Karen Smart, Marithe Solis, Sundus Raza, Leeza Von Alpen COLUMNISTS Amber Anon, Aden Beaver & Tom Goldblatt, Rihanna Carr, Brenton Griffin, Emma Hough Hobbs, Patrick O’Loughlin ILLUSTRATIONS Rhianna Carr Sheydin Dew Emma Hough Hobbs CONTRIBUTORS Rhianna Carr, Ashley Curtis, Amy Davis, Ainsley Ewart, David Faber,

Richard Falkner, Kayla Gaskell, Madeline Hand, Lisandra Linde, Cameron Lowe, BM, Jordon O’Reilly, Lee Salvemini, Elle Void, Leeza von Alpen, David Vu, Jordan Warren, Hilary Wigg ADVERTISING/MEDIA Steph Walker stephanie.walker@flinders.edu.au Enquiries Level 1, Student Hub, Flinders University (FUSA) 1 Registry Road Bedford Park, 5042 About the cover art: “My avocados are inspired by my intense love for avo, I used to hate avocados but then I became vego.

This piece was all done digitally, check out more of my art at pegmodeart.weebly.com” - Cover artist Emma Hough Hobbs

With thanks to:

Contributors old and new, for your support and creativity. Also a big thanks to everyone who came to our first contributor party of the year. On that note, thanks to Anthea at FUSA Events for organising our lil shin dig, and thanks to the Tavern for the amazzzzing pizza!

Empire Times would like to acknowledge the Kaurna people who are the traditional custodians of the land Flinders University is situated on, and that this land was never ceded, but stolen. We would like to pay our respects to the elders of the Kaurna nation and extend that respect to other Aboriginal peoples, past, present, and future.

Empire Times is a publication of Flinders University Student Association (FUSA). Empire Times is printed by Flinders Press.

The opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of the editors, Flinders University, or Flinders University Student Association. Reasonable care is taken to ensure that Empire Times articles and other information are up-to-date and as accurate as possible, as of the time of publication, but no responsibility can be taken by Empire Times Magazine for any errors or omissions contained herein.

work with us!

WRITERS, PHOTOGRAPHERS, ILLUSTRATORS & MAKERS OF PRETTY INTERESTING THINGS! Empire Times is a student publication that prints 10 times over the academic year. It is made by students, for students and provides a unique opportunity for students to be published, to talk about what's important to them and to be read by those in their community.

Empire Times relies entirely on contributions from the readers to make up its content. Each selected piece goes through a collaborative editing process. We're very friendly, email empire.times@flinders.edu.au to find out everything you need to know about being part of the team.

On Campus What’s going on?

May FUSA’s always thinking of you, and they want to aid your welfare with free breakfasts every week!

FREE Welfare Br unches

3rd May / Sturt 4th May / Plaza 8th May / Tonsley 10th May / Registry 12th May / Anchor Court 16th May / Plaza 18th May / Education 19th May / Sturt 22nd May / Registry 23rd May / Medical Library 24th May / Tonsley 30th May / Anchor Court 31st May / Plaza

May FL ICS ( Fl inde rs Unive rs it y Cine phi l e S o cie t y )

3rd May / House 10th May / Double Feature: Samurai and Cop and The Room 17th May / Dirty Rotten Scoundrels 24th May / Big Trouble in Little China 31st May / Die Hard

May

May 15 Empire Times Issue 5 (Sex) contributor deadline. Email submissions to empire. times@flinders.edu.au

FLICS Movie Screenings: See Facebook page for locations and further details.

S ex issue: C ont r ibutor D e ad line

Opinion pieces, artwork, fiction, poetry, recipes, music reviews, whatever your heart desires!

FUSA R el ax D ays. Thanks

to your student association, you can pick up some great freebies like food, haircuts, and masssages. RELAX! 3rd May Tonsley / 10th May Medical Library / 17th May Plaza / 24th May Sturt Library / 31st May Tonsley

O t her May e vents : Flinders University Archaeology Society: National Archaeology Week events: May 22nd: Meet & Greet fellow students, Flinders Victoria Square, 7pm.

May 26th: Meet & Greet archaeologists, Flinders Victoria Square, 7pm.

May 12th, 7pm.

French Club, Indigenous Club, Japanese Club, Vietnamese Club, and Indonesian Club:

‘Shipfaced’ Pub Crawl.

May 16th, 5pm:

See Flinders Tourism Association on Facebook for pub list and more details.

Joint Language Quiz Night at The Tavern. Tickets are free, food provided, prize for best dressed/best costume (dress as the country you are representing)

Flinders Tourism Association:

FUSA Op Shop Stall: May 17th, Medical Library.

11am-2pm: Clothes for sale for gold coin donation. Students are welcome to donate ay professional / work clothes at FUSA up until May 15.

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Editorial

Issue 3 is here already; how the heck did that come so quickly? By the time this issue is released, the mid-semester break will be practically finished, and we’ll be back to university for semester 2 already. How quickly 2017 is going; I mean, Married at First Sight is already over for the year!

I feel like everyone on campus is finally settling into their university routines. Just personally, my routine consists of daily trips to Urban Paddock Co for coffee/ my life force, and buying way too many egg & lettuce sandwiches while I’m there.

Occasionally I’ll shake up my lunch time order by getting a sumptuous lentil dhal curry from Kutchi Deli Parwana (they put sulatanas in with the rice, so damn good), or a beautifully fresh tofu bun bowl from Toly Vietnamese; I’m spoilt for choice!

My university routine also includes eternally leaving my homework until the last minute.

I play The Sims and watch Frasier episodes far into the night, telling myself I deserve this break, and that I’ll catch up on my homework tomorrow. (Don’t worry, I’m judging me too) Then, of course, as the impending deadlines loom closer, I’m stressfully staying up all night to finish my essays, cursing myself for leaving yet another assignment to the last minute. Will I ever finally learn from my mistakes? No, probably not.

What’s up folks? Enjoying semester? Or are you crying into your third cup of morning coffee like me?

We’re at issue 3 already - how exciting! I’m especially keen on this one because there are so many juicy creative pieces - which I had the pleasure of reading and flailing excitedly over. Plus, I got to interview the amazing Emma Maguire. There’s also all the usual goodies - reviews and the like - so there’s something for everybody!

During the production of this issue I also learnt that bread is bad for ducks. So, I’m a monster, yeah? From now on my pockets will always be full of oats and other delicious treats that won’t hurt our beloved Flinders ducks. Stock up on healthy duck treats, chums! As for myself, this diet of Tav pizza and Up & Co. coffee won’t kill me, right?

If you haven’t swung by to visit us, you really should. Liam has started rebuilding his beloved coffee tower and I’ve covered the walls with beautiful ET art (as well as some lovely bits and pieces from elsewhere).

We’re always happy to chat and fist-bump and anything else you’d want to do (nothing suss).

I think that’s everything worth saying in this editorial so here is a doodle I did on the back of a set reading during one of my classes.

Luckily for me, one of my topics required readings is Persuasion by Jane Austen, and it certainly makes homework easier when you’re reading one of the wittiest and most ahead-of-their-time authors ever (just in my opinion!)

Eleanor

By the time you read this, I will be in the United States. Milton and I are going on a holiday to reconnect. It’s odd writing this and knowing when it gets out there I’ll be in New York. But exciting.

Anyway, back to the usual stuff. This has been an interesting issue, learning from the ups and downs of the first two issues to hopefully, by the power of coffee, produce something better. That is what I believe in.

Coffee. Coffee for everyone.

Soon I will be jumping on a plane. I’ve never been to the US so I’m not sure what to expect but I shall find out. I’ll be back for the end of issue 4 and it’ll be like I never left. Actually, that’s quite a depressing thought.

This has been an eventful issue to pull together, very much in a good way. It has been powered by over-consumption of Tav pizza. So I guess if Trump nukes the US and I don’t make it back, I’ll have some good last words: There is no aspect, no facet, no moment of life that can’t be improved with pizza.

Thank you.

Liam.

I hope everyone finds a university routine that works for them, and a good study/ leisure balance too. Whatever your routine or leisure time entails, make sure that it always includes reading your student mag.

Love,

Usually when I write my editorial, I know what I want to write. But not this time.

This is, after all, the issue without a theme, so I don’t have to have such theme-based guidelines as I would ordinarily. Perhaps I’ll write a post-modern editorial about writing an editorial? As a student, I have experience bullshitting my way through assignments until I can go, ‘oh, what a shame, I seem to have run out of words!’

Vi snakkes, Lisandra

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Gender Identity

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Advice: Ask Milton

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Fiction: For the Love of Footy

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Student Council

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Vox Pop: Voice of the People

Misunderstanding Feminism

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Six Things: Favourite Podcast

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Interview: Emma Maguire

10 Things I’ve Learnt so far at Flinders University

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The Politics of Anzac Day

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A Letter from the United States of America

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The Ethics of Fucking

The Jewish Nazi’s Guide to the Ethics of Punching Communists

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Exchange Living: From France to Australia

Fiction: I Heard it on the Radio

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Robots taking our jobs in the Future

Celebrating Neil Finn

Poetry Home

Poetry: Be

Empire Times Quiz

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Board Game Baptism: Deckbuilding Games

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5 Star Film Recommendation: Apocalypse Now

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Book Review: Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki & His Years of Pilgrimage

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Game Review: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

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Bite sized Anime Reviews and Recommendations

Vox Pop

Voice of t he p e ople (on c ampus) Central Campus

Joshua

Zachary

Darcy

B ehav ioura l S cience

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Me di a Ar ts

Q1. Fringe Q2. A Bird Q3. Watercress!

Q4. Is this really a question? YES! Q5. Don’t think twice, it’s alright (Bob Dylan)

Q1. The House With No Name Q2. A Duck!

Q3. Fish fingers with custard or jelly babies Q4. I have pizza on my pineapple instead Q5. Duel of Fates

Q1. Royal Croquet Club Q2. My dog Q3. Chicken noodles Q4. Yes Q5. The Matrix Soundtrack

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Q1. What is your favourite event during the Adelaide Festival season? Q2.

If you could be any animal, what would you be? Q3. If you could eat only one type of food for the rest of your life, what would it be? Q4. Pineapple on pizza, yes or no? Q5. What would your theme song be?

Kookie

Samuel

Drama

Market ing

Q1. Comedy shows at the Fringe

Q1. FRINGE (Garden of Unearthly Delights)

Q2. I’m the best animal there is

Q2. Grizzly bear

Q3. Tav chips Q4. No. Pizza on pineapple Q5. Hannibal theme music

Q3. Pasta Q4. Hell no!

Q5. Mr. Brightside (The Killers)

fe atu re / he a lth

My Detox Experience Ash le y Cur t is

Sick and tired of saying “new year, new me” every January and not sticking to her resolutions, Empire Times writer Ashley Curtis set out on a 3 day detox to benefit her health. Here she writes about her experiences; the good, the bad, and the god-awful kale smoothies.

On January 1st, every year, I say the same thing; “New Year, New me”.

and I could access the booklet online, so I thought why not give it a shot, what could go wrong? Well, I was very wrong.

And like most people, I start setting goals for myself and start planning out my year. It’s really weird how people think that waiting until January 1st to change themselves, and start planning goals will help them to actually achieve them; because let’s be honest, most of us have given ourselves New Year’s resolutions, but how many of us have actually carried them out consistently? I for one, have not. But this year was going to be different for me, I was actually making the time and effort to exercise more, instead of going to a running event every so often, I started going to one weekly, I started swimming more than once a week, and I even started Latin and Ballroom Dancing.

This detox was mainly a liquid detox and it consisted of smoothies containing kale, avocado, lime, banana, apple cider vinegar mixed with cayenne pepper and lemon, and last but not least, quinoa!

Whenever I have smoothies, they tend to be from boost juice so they’ve got sugar packed yoghurt, juice, fruit, and sorbet in them which gives them that extra sweet taste, so to start drinking these detox smoothies was a very dramatic change for me. Now my detox considered of 3 smoothies a day, (breakfast, lunch and dinner), and I can say that I did not enjoy any of them and I wanted to throw up after the first sip… but I can be a stubborn person, and I really wanted to prove to myself that I could eat clean and that the ingredients that Danette suggested would help me feel more positive and motivated to achieving my weight loss goals, so I drank the whole smoothie, every time.

For a few years now, I have struggled to lose weight; I would run twice a week for a few weeks and see no difference in myself, which lead me to having negative thoughts and finally concluding that it was pointless doing exercise because I felt I wasn’t making any progress. I can be very impatient and like most of society today, I expect results quickly, and if I don’t get those results then I just gave up. But at the start of the year, I said to myself “you are going to get healthier and lose a few kilos!”

I started to read articles from fitness experts about how to lose weight, until I realised that in order to lose weight, I can’t just exercise a few times and expect to drop 10kgs in a week, I needed to balance my exercise with the things that I ate. Now, I wouldn’t consider my eating habits really unhealthy, but they weren’t the cleanest; I would have quite a few sugary snacks a day, takeaway or eat out twice a week and would make my dinner my largest portion of the day. So I thought, how can my eating habits become cleaner?

I looked at a few diet plans, but I’ve always been skeptical because every nutritionist would say a different thing, so I found it hard to find one I could trust, until I came across an American nutritionist, Danette May. I found her on Facebook and scrolled through many comments to see if her meal plans and nutrition tips really worked, and everyone was so positive and gave all of her plans great reviews, so I thought okay I am going to try one of her meal plans, so I saw she was doing a deal for a ‘3 day detox’, it was only $10

On Day 1, I was feeling positive. I said to myself, “Come on you can do this, only two more days to go, and you will feel great”.

On Day 2, I started to feel really week; this detox was way harder than I thought it was going to be, and I had hardly any motivation to do anything all day except sleep and hope that day 3 will come around quickly, so then it’ll be just one day until I can finish this poxy detox. Day 2 was the hardest, because I really wanted to give up; I was so hungry, I didn’t feel positive about myself, I felt like I was starving myself and I actually broke down in tears when my dad suggested to my mum that they get a takeaway for dinner. I was weak, and I felt so lonely, I felt no one understood what I was feeling because I decided to do this detox alone.

Anyway, Day 3 came around which meant it was the last day of the detox. I couldn’t believe I had made it this far. I was still exhausted all day and just stayed in bed for most of it. I was so weak I didn’t have the energy to watch any movies or TV shows or even go on Facebook or reply to texts. I felt completely isolated and I was counting down the minutes until I could have my next smoothie.

On Day 3, I was allowed to finally eat something instead of drinking it, and it was quinoa. Now, when I tell people about how I’m not a fan of quinoa, they turn around and look at me and say “Are you serious? I love quinoa!” Then I mention how I had to eat it on its own, and they respond, “Oh yeah, that wouldn’t be very tasty”.

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Well, no fucking shit, it was gross. But, I completed all 3 days, which is a great achievement, as I was ready to give up on Day 2.

Now, for the results. There were a few positives: I lost a few kilograms; my stomach became much less bloated; I started viewing myself in a more positive way, as I was proud of myself for persevering; I now appreciate substantial, healthy, diverse food so much more; and after getting fast food out of my system for a few days, I now have lower cravings for it. HOWEVER, even though I got some great results, I also had some negative ones which included feeling nauseous when consuming food, and feeling mentally and physically exhausted.

This detox has made me realise that the quest to achieve quick weight loss results, just isn’t worth it. Throughout this detox, I felt so down, I felt like I was living a miserable life, and that I wasn’t really living. We only get one shot at life, and I know everyone has different fitness and health goals, but what I wonder is, why should we make ourselves feel miserable and down, just so we can get a little slimmer or more musclier that little bit quicker? Life is meant to be enjoyed, and we have so much to live for, we should be able to order a fatty steak or creamy carby pasta when we go out for dinner if we fancy it and not worry about what people around us are thinking; we should be able to have a sweet snack from time to time, and walk into McDonalds confidently and not worry about people staring you or judging you for wanting to treat yourself. Just because we don’t see results instantly, doesn’t mean we should

give up, and it doesn’t mean we should try and take short cuts.

Perhaps we just need to set our goals and little lower and take one step back, to go two steps forward.

Recommendation: If you haven’t tried a detox before, I recommend trying at least one in your lifetime (whether you choose to finish it or not), because it really changes your outlook on life and makes you really rethink your goals and what it is you really want to get out of life and your food diet. I would also recommend doing it with a friend or family member, so you can talk about how you both feel and know that someone understands just how difficult this can be. I would also like to note that my reaction to the detox may not be the same as anyone else’s reactions, we are all different and that is what makes this world such an interesting place.

Also, Danette May actually has some great tips and articles so I definitely recommend checking her out on Facebook. Finally, just because I did not enjoy this detox as much as I thought I would, I am still exercising frequently and I have changed my eating habits slightly, as I make my lunch my main meal and have a lighter meal at dinner time, and I have way less takeaways and sugary treats than I did before.

Take care, and happy goal setting!

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Along Sectarian Lines The Battle Over ANZAC Day Brenton Griffin

‘The Liberals, scared that the Anglo supremacy of white Australia was tumbling with the hordes of immigrants, declared that those who questioned the legitimacy of ANZAC Day sullied the sacrifices, whether voluntary or coerced of Australian soldiers.’

Australia has a surprising number of controversial public holidays. We have Australia Day, celebrated on a day that marked the invasion of sovereign land by English soldiers. We have Melbourne Cup, with its morally questionable treatment of horses. And we have ANZAC Day, the day in which we remember Australian men and women suffering in an imperialistic war that really had nothing to do with us.

The controversy over ANZAC Day is as old as the day itself. Even at its inception, there was massive resistance, mainly from the labour movement and those friendly to it, as it was seen as a political gesture to exploit a national day of mourning. Parents and communities who had lost fathers, sons, and brothers due to the wars of the mother country did not want their memorials to be hijacked by the government’s efforts to legitimise itself in the eyes of the recently federated nation.

Interestingly enough, ANZAC Day was set up with the express intent of promoting Australia’s military prowess through propaganda. The very celebrations themselves follow an archetype of ancient ritual in regards to celebration. Beginning with the Dawn Service, which everyone is encouraged to attend, a mood of remembrance is attempted, despite the piss-up that normally occurs. There are

grand parades, hosted by the government, throughout the major cities of Australia, as well as memorial services in smaller communities. These are impressive and expensive, the uniforms and military garb, the guns and bands. In recent years, the descendants of ANZACs have proudly paraded their ancestors medallions, incorporating the younger generations in this tradition. Additionally, the largest sporting match in Australia, besides from the AFL Grand Final, is held: in this instance, the old rivalry of Collingwood versus Essendon is ignited in order to provide national entertainment. At many of the celebrations, famous poems and stories are recited in order to inspire a mood of sobriety and remembrance. Even private and public schools, both primary and secondary, dedicate entire weeks to preparing students for ANZAC Day celebrations.

Over recent years, however, there has been a revival of old concerns in relation to the celebration of ANZAC Day. Historians, politicians, and activists have all rightly pointed out that to celebrate a botched military campaign, in which Australian, New Zealand, and Pacific Islander soldiers lost their lives in an invasion of Ottoman land is not an event in which the national mythos should have been built upon. Paul Keating offered an alternative, arguing that the

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Pictured: (Left) - A dawn service for ANZAC Day. (Right, Top) - Soldiers marching on the occasion of ANZAC Day. (Right, Bottom) - The annual AFL game marking ANZAC Day at the MCG, 2010.

Australian defence at Kokoda should be the foundation of our national mythos, as this was an actual defence of our country.

However, with the rule of John Howard, ANZAC Day was revamped and repackaged for an ever increasingly multi-cultural Australia. The Liberals, scared that the Anglo supremacy of white Australia was tumbling with the hordes of immigrants, declared that those who questioned the legitimacy of ANZAC Day sullied the sacrifices, whether voluntary or coerced, of Australian soldiers.

Thus, there have been sectarian lines drawn in the sand in which various ideas have been promulgated: to either disagree with the celebration of Australia Day, or to support it, is to disregard the ANZACs. With ANZAC Day upon us, the debate will again rage: what is the proper way to memorialise those slain in a great war of aristocratic squabbles? In the case of the Germans, Russians, Austrians, and British, the ruling families were all related. How does this correlate to our national myth, and thus to our identity? How does it affect the way we view and celebrate the Anzacs? Should we still invest so much time and resources in remembering those who were viewed as nothing but pawns in a great game? Or should we be proud of

our ancestors who did what they believed to be right? We should also remember that conscription was taken to the Australian people twice during the First World War, and twice it was knocked back. Thus, those who went to War were volunteers. How does this, too, change our opinion of the ANZAC soldiers?

This is a controversial subject that is rooted deeply within the national memory and identity, and is thus a sensitive issue.

It is doubly emotive as many people alive today, myself included, are the descendants of soldiers who are supposed to be memorialised. With Australia being the multicultural country that it is, do we need a national myth in order to have a national identity?

Nevertheless, to continue ANZAC Day unchanged is not the way to go. It needs to be modified to represent the history of the ANZACs more accurately. We need to break down the militaristic propaganda of our infant nation, and adapt it to our society today. We need to remember the defence of our country at Kokoda, perhaps giving this place some of the same sacredness that we place on Gallipoli.

Instead of spouting retroactive nationalistic rhetoric that does not reflect the times and society, we should instead be open about the intent of the ANZAC volunteers: that

they fought for King and Empire. This does not mean that we disregard their sacrifices, or that we disregard the ANZACs as the people that they were, merely that we understand that their motivations are somewhat uncomfortable to many 21st Century Australians.

Or, this could just be the rantings of a history student who is terrified of state propaganda and its effects on society.

But whatever the answer is, the debate surrounding ANZAC Day is set to soon reignite.

colu m n/ s ex u a l ity

Four Ethical Tips about Sex Amb er Anon

Coming into your sexual stride can be a long journey full of ups and downs. Sexual innuendo aside, it can be a difficult journey for those new and old to the sexual scene; so here’s four ethical tips about sex that aren’t always on the forefront of our minds when we’re thinking about getting laid, but they should be.

1: Not all sexualities and sexual acts are considered equal As obvious as this point may be to those well versed in sexual adventurers, it’s important to remember that hindsight is 20-20.

This is something I truly think more young people should be told as they start to learn about sexuality – heck, it’s something I could have used myself.

As a young teen, I developed the majority of my sexuality information from the things I watched on television and in movies, things I read in teen romance novels written by forty-year-old men, as well as the few scraps of information I could scrape together from my friend’s porno mags. Unfortunately for me, this makes for very limited sexual health awareness, even being paired with the limited details I received in sex education.

Living in a society which is heavily saturated with “the right kind of sex” can be pretty terrifying for a newcomer, especially when you start including different aspects of one’s life, such as ethnicity, sexuality, and desires into this sexual hierarchy. It’s within this social hierarchy that certain sexual acts and orientations are promoted above others, and some are discouraged. As such, participation in certain acts or orientations can publicly increase or decrease an individual’s reputation, which then impacts their acceptance into specific social groups. Being told this straight off the bat could spare so many people perpetrating or receiving shame for exploring their sexuality and pleasure in the differences of sexual acts.

I believe that being told that life will continue after any sexual faux pas is incredibly important for any newcomer, as it can take the shame out of sexual exploration without denying that sexual subcultures exist; while reinforcing you’re not evil for being into what’s considered “different” to the norm. No one should be made to feel ashamed of their sexual preferences or sexuality, whether you’re queer or straight, or other. Although, it is important to distinguish when your desires have the possibility of hurting other people.

2: Be aware of your privilege As previously stated, a sexual hierarchy within society denotes what types of sexual acts are more likely to be praised or discouraged. As such, I feel it’s important for sexual newcomers to consider where

they stand within this hierarchy and how that can impact others. If you suppose that you may be higher or lower than someone else on the hierarchy, it’s crucial not to use your privilege to sustain their marginalisation. Doing so is unethical as it reinforces and sustains the disenfranchisement of marginalised sexual sub-cultures and the people within them. As they say, with greater power comes greater responsibility.

The point of having sex for pleasure is that it is meant to be pleasurable; if you’re gaining pleasure at the expense of someone else’s, you’ve got a problem. The solution is to stop. It is each individual’s right to retract consent at any time, and it’s not only up to the individual to state whether they don’t wish to continue participating. Listen and engage with them; if the person is impaired and cannot respond (from inebriation, intoxication and intimidation), stop engaging in sexual conduct with them. Make sure they go somewhere safe; it’s not just their responsibility, it’s yours too.

3: Sexually transmitted infections are everywhere, and it’s your job to educate yourself about them At the risk of sounding like an underpaid health teacher, STIs aren’t something to be taken lightly. Unless your school used the curricula developed by SHINE SA, many people’s sexual health and relationships education is something that was barely taught and barely learnt.

Unfortunately, sexual health education isn’t something that is brought up a lot outside of high school, unless you belong to a targeted demographic. Targeting demographics which are more susceptible to STIs is an effective approach for those groups specifically; however, it is ineffective at targeting those who really need sexual health education: EVERYONE! STIs don’t discriminate; anyone can get them. HIV is not “just a gay man’s virus”, millions of heterosexual people world-wide live with HIV and the number of people exposed are only rising, particularly in Australia.

It is bizarre to think that with the advancements in technology, and information regarding how viruses are transmitted; some people are still ignorant in their prejudiced beliefs in who gets STIs. Granted, not everyone has access to up-to-date, peer reviewed, unbiased

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information regarding STIs, HIV and other blood-borne viruses; but that doesn’t mean there aren’t community services that aim to educate. Granted that condoms are especially expensive, but that doesn’t mean don’t use one, Google a local (or not so local if you live in a small town) GP or non-government organisations which provide sexual health education and services that will hand them out for free. Being aware of your sexual health just makes good sense.

4: Learn about community organisations, and participate within them Thanks to the internet, the eases in finding organisation and services have never been better, especially since the uprising of social media. Although clicking ‘Like’ and subscribing to an organisation’s feed on social media isn’t enough to keep a service up and running in real life. For a large percentage of these services, peoplepower is a huge issue right now.

While public promotion is immensely beneficial for organisations, actually participating in a service is what enables an organisation to receive funding; after all, if no one is using a service what’s the point of keeping it running? Considering our current socio-

economic political climate, it would be appropriate to say there is a severe lack of funding for the public health sector in comparison to the private health sector.

The amount of people needing these services hasn’t changed, but what has changed is the severely diminished amount of funding each organisation within the sector receives. As such, a lot of organisations rely on volunteer support. The purpose of these services is to benefit marginalised members of the community who can’t gain access to unbiased services.

Some also provide peer-to-peer access to up-to-date sexual health information. Not only are there already established groups of peers who meet regularly, new groups are waiting to be organised, merged or revamped. So for those of you out in the community who have some free time and are keen to meet like-minded people, volunteer or participate in a local sexual health organisation!

Hopefully some of these tips have made you consider your own sexual journey and how it can intertwine with others, more than just getting laid. Even if these are things you’ve thought of before, have talked about before, or are completely new to you, it’s important to reflect on how interacting with sex from different perspectives allows for more ethical sexual practices. Not only does ethical practice bolster your own sexual journey, but it has the potential to bolster others’ too.

fe atu re / exch ange

Exchange Living: From France to Australia, and the struggles along the way David Vu

It’s already been eight months since I traded French cheeses and the cold for meat pies and forty degree temperatures in Australia.

Even still, this contrast wasn’t the greatest difference I found between these countries.

Still, I do really enjoy my time here in Adelaide, since it’s not a too fast-paced city like Sydney or Paris so perfect to live in, you don’t lose all your time commuting to go from a place to another and can enjoy your time peacefully. I’m definitely having a blast travelling around the country as well, seeing both the preserved natural side and the most vibrant places Australia has to offer. However, as The Rolling Stones said, “You can’t always get what you want”, and it’s pretty true.

Ask whomever you want, especially students, but it cannot be denied that accommodation is ridiculously expensive here Down Under, something particularly confusing as “Straya” is not suffering from any lack of space! It’s a fact but that probably also explains why most of the local students still live with their parents, whereas in France moving out from the family home after you turn 18 is more and more the norm for young individuals.

Despite living in a city that is considerably more affordable than Sydney or Melbourne, finding a decent place to live without biting too much off of a student loan, or ruining vacation plans, becomes a challenge for international and exchange students. This could be one of the major reasons people worldwide are not choosing Australia as a destination. It is a tough situation for students to deal with, especially when it comes to choosing the place where to spend a semester, or sometimes a full year, as in my case. Choosing accommodation that meets your needs can be a determining factor when you try to be successful during your studies.

Universities might offer a diverse range of solutions, but most of them are very expensive, especially when you can’t benefit from government help. For $200 to $350 a week, you will get the convenience of a single bedroom within a shared apartment in the CBD, albeit a small room without any backyard, washing machine, or oven. Some would rather spend 10 to 15 more minutes in transportation, pay less for their rent and benefit from the same facilities.

A question that could be asked at this point is: “Why didn’t you choose private accommodation then?” Arriving in a foreign country that is thousands of kilometres away from yours can be a hard process, and you definitely don’t want to be even more stressed about it. What’s more, private accommodation is not easily secured

in a foreign and new country as you could get scammed, or the accommodation could look nothing like the ad.

International solutions arising from innovative companies such as HousingAnywhere.com aim to answer this problem. The company works in close collaboration with more than 130 universities and is active in more than 500 cities in the world. Their mission is to help both incoming and outgoing international students to find accommodation abroad in an easy and safe way. It makes sure you find what best satisfies your needs by also including listings from private landlords, housing corporations, and host families.

The best part of the company probably lies in the platform’s booking system. All accommodation found on Housing Anywhere is secure and free of scammers as it’s checked thoroughly by the team. Additionally, the first month of rent paid through the platform when booking a room is not transferred directly to the landlord, but rather kept safe until the move has been completed and everything is as agreed upon. If the room is not as described in the contract, you get your money back! In this way, you can get everything arranged in advance! So at all times, I have felt safe and comfortable using this platform.

I had the opportunity to use the service when I was still in France, to look for accommodation in my hometown, Strasbourg, since the platform has already teamed up with my University. After some reviews of different ads, some friends and I were able to find a comfy 4-bedroom shared apartment within close distance from our school and the whole process took less than 2 weeks.

Unfortunately, Housing Anywhere hasn’t been set up with Australian universities yet. The company has a few ads for Adelaide accommodation, but only when a partnership is signed with local universities, will students have more flexibility and choice in our living situations.

As a consequence of that lack of accommodation options, I had to opt for a really tiny room within a student accommodation, which costs me $200 a week without internet and electricity and I don’t even have a window in my living room!

Ultimately, I hope other international students don’t have to go through the same situation as me; we should be able to learn in a beautiful foreign country and feel safe and welcome, and this will truly enrich our time here Down Under.

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fe atu re / empl oy ment

Workers of the Future

Cool Robots Are Taking Your Jobs!

Jordan Warren

What does automation mean for everyday non-robot students?

‘No longer do people have the old style 9-5, five days a week jobs.

Part time and casual work is rapidly becoming the norm in Australia. Job security is disappearing to be replaced with a more flexible and less stable system of employment.’

We have heard it all before - immigrants are taking our jobs! Our jobs are going overseas! Now, robots are taking our jobs but this time it’s more than rhetoric and it has some pretty serious implications for students and young people.

It is pretty clear that there have been changes to the labour markets and these changes will have impacts on students leaving university and entering the workforce in the future. The role of the worker, as an individual selling their labour, has remained the same but how this is done has changed, and workers have been forced to adapt to a changing workplace and world. No longer do people have the old style 9-5, five days a week jobs. Part time and casual work is rapidly becoming the norm in Australia. Job security is disappearing to be replaced with a more flexible and less stable system of employment. Capitalism demands in today’s society to have one’s enterprise be the most efficient it can possibly be to compete. Automation is the logical path for industry and work to take. Having a workforce that requires no pay, can work 24/7 and also coincidentally can’t unionise, is perfect for employers.

Humans have continually been made redundant by changing and developing technology throughout history. With the advent of computers and automation, a new era of employment has begun, with older jobs such as manufacturing being made redundant and replaced through automation. This can be seen clearly with the closure of Holden, Ford, Toyota and Mitsubishi factories and well as the announced shutdown of the Coke bottling plant in Thebarton.

Jobs are being replaced by automation in service and retail areas as well. The advent of automated checkouts at supermarkets, with computers reducing the need for another human, besides the customer, to function is a direct result of automation. Call centres are being run by computer algorithms that can handle multiple calls at once in multiple different languages. We will soon see significant changes to the transportation industry with the advent of self driving cars. The change in employment due to automation

17

Pictured: Left: Automation at work. Right Top: The workers of yesterday. Right Bottom: The workers of tomorrow?

isn’t limited to low class professions, as traditionally high class jobs such as doctors and lawyers are also at risk of automation and redundancy. A computer can scan, read and analyse thousands of documents a day while a human lawyer can perform nowhere near that number; as if it wasn’t hard enough to find a law job in Adelaide already. Doctors are required to know how thousands of different medicines interact with each other while also describing dozens of different symptoms and illnesses. A computer, IBM’s Watson AI, has been correctly diagnosing diseases 99% of the time and is begging to see large scale investment and implementation.

Software engineers are also in danger of being made redundant through automation as more and more complex programs are created that allows for computers to continually learn without human input. What happens when computers can code to themselves? Does software engineering become automated so that the creation of an automised society becomes automated?

The argument that humans have been in the same position before, that humans adapt to changing labour markets, that new jobs will appear and that new qualifications will be made available. I actually disagree with this. Not that new jobs will be made available but that humans will actually fill these jobs. At a certain point, computers become more capable than humans at everything.

Machines, from simple stone hand axes to steam engines, have throughout human history made physical human labour easier.

The physical aspect. The mental aspect of labour has remained relatively the same. Administrators still record. Philosophers still think. Scientists still hypothesise. The writer still writes. This has never really been impacted by machinery, tools and automation before. But it has now. For example, software bots write a huge amounts of news articles for websites, such as a program at The Los Angeles Times that reports breaking news about earthquakes. Or a program that creates new music forever for free, it’s called Emily Howell and it’s been around since the 1990s. Eventually, machines

and automation will simply outcompete humans on the physical and mental front. This isn’t a bad thing, nor is it a robots-takeover-the-world thing. It’s pure human nature, humans make tools to help them function better. A fully automated society, where machines provide everything for humans, while humans have no need to work, is perhaps the ultimate example of human using tools to make life easier. Without the need for humans to work and with everything already provided, the only occupation becomes ownership of production. With machines providing all labour at some point in the future money becomes irrelevant as does class.

This either ends in some sort of dystopian hell or communist utopia but I can’t predict the future. Socialist Alternative might be happy though.

So what can we do as students? On a personal level, the best way to stay relevant is to make sure that your training and skills are flexible and don’t limit you to one area of expertise. Being capable of working in multiple different careers and areas is vital to modern day employment. Joining a Union is also an excellent idea, and with the rise of automation, Unions will need to evolve to encompass a broader idea of employment, focusing less on jobs and more on people. On a macro scale, many talk about implementing a Universal Basic Income, in which the government pays its citizens a certain amount of money regardless of welfare or employment status. This way people can still buy food even if there are no jobs. The government could also take a Luddite perspective and impose limitations on automation in certain industries and areas of work. This would maintain jobs for human to work in while also transitioning the economy to a more state controlled focus.

Automation is simply the next step in humans freeing themselves from outdated labour and the next step to a future society. All I know is that the robots are coming and we better be ready.

fe atu re / mu si c

19

Celebrating Neil Finn Ainsley Ewart

In March, I had the wonderful experience of seeing Neil Finn in concert. It was a free show to open the Adelaide Festival, and was by all accounts a runaway success. He brought child-like wonder with him, encouraging a race for children attending in the allotted walkways, where thankfully no-one was injured. The crowd, which combined both the bogans of the Clipsal 500 and the older WASPs attending Adelaide Writers’ Week among other groups, was encouraged to wave at planes coming in to land and a news helicopter getting shots of the event.

Neil Finn, of course, is best known for his work in bands Split Enz and Crowded House, playing songs from both as well as some from his solo career (and bringing along Nick Seymour, Crowded House’s bass player). He has won multiple song writing awards, with Paul McCartney having once referred to him as the greatest songwriter alive. From the new wave dance hit “I Got You” to melancholy sing-a-long “Don’t Dream It’s Over”, the performance was a hit with fans of all eras.

Last year we saw a resurgence of Crowded House. The band was inducted into the ARIA Hall of Fame, celebrated thirty years since the release of their first

album and formation, and twenty years since their famous (and free) “Farewell to the World” concert on the Sydney Opera House steps. The combination of all these led to four sold-out shows on the Opera House steps, the final of which was broadcast live on television, much like the original 1996 concert. There, of course, were differences. Crowded House have released three more albums since that performance, and so some new songs that people weren’t so familiar with were featured, but mostly the absence of Paul Hester, the band’s original drummer, was felt by all and acknowledged in their performance of “Italian Plastic”.

Riding the wave of this excitement, the Adelaide Festival show announcement was huge. Thankfully, it did not disappoint. There were well-known Crowded House singalongs (but surprisingly not any from Woodface, the group’s most successful album, perhaps due to the absence of Tim Finn, Neil’s older brother), some more obscure solo hits and Split Enz dances.

About halfway through the show, I had my necessary ‘Oh, he did this song’ realisation, and found the song after searching “Neil Finn New Year’s Resolution”. That song, which I have been

listening to constantly since, is “Message to My Girl”, originally by Split Enz, and sounds like a lost Paul McCartney composition (which is possibly the world’s greatest compliment) Other highlights included Split Enz’s “I Got You”, Crowded House’s “Sister Madly”, “Better Be Home Soon”, “Distant Sun”, “Don’t Dream It’s Over”, “Fall at Your Feet” and “Pineapple Head” and Neil Finn solo “She Will Have Her Way”.

Many of these songs live on in our culture as defining Australian songs (even though Neil Finn is actually a New Zealander), a prime example being songs “Sister Madly” and “Better Be Home Soon” featuring prominently in 1994 Australian film The Sum of Us starring another adopted New Zealander, Russell Crowe. “Don’t Dream It’s Over” features the lyrics ‘They come to build a wall between us/We know they won’t win’ which have taken on new relevance with a certain moron in charge of country who has stolen his policies from sitcom Arrested Development.

So thank you Neil, for giving us these songs. We greatly appreciate them, and cannot wait for more.

fe atu re / gen d er

Gender Identity Elle Void

Identity is a nuanced collection of concepts that can be narrowed down to be explained in a few words. We write our social media bios to create pre-conceptions in people we don’t know, and allow people we do know to find us. Myself, I can narrow myself down to as few as six words; trans, poly, abolitionist, vegan, student, 25.

Of course I’m much more than these words, but they get people thinking.

I’ve had identities imposed upon me for decades. From the day I was born I had an identity imposed upon me and it took me nearly two decades to come to terms with the fact that it didn’t fit me.

At times I’m pretty sure I began to challenge what it meant to be a ‘boy’, but it wasn’t until I was supposed to be a “man” that I really needed to deal with my own identity.

Confronting something like a gender can take a long time, and it’s not the same for each individual person. Coming out in my early 20s, when my parents were told one of their reasons for not accepting it immediately was that ‘there weren’t signs as a child’, as if the preference for clothing and toys is an accurate way to determine if a child or young person is trans (hint: It’s really not).

Even completely out as trans I’ve continued to think about my identity. I’ve never considered “going stealth” (going stealth is when a trans person allows people to assume they’re cis) as I personally find that being openly and visibly trans gives the opportunity for people who need it to see that trans people do actually exist and are normal people (and I do promise you that you’ve met more than a few trans people you have no idea are trans). I’ve also questioned whether a binary trans identity really fits me; would I be happier outside the binary? I guess I’ll have to keep thinking about that.

Being publically visible as trans can be quite a scary thing. Once people recognise it they show how they really feel about people like me, and when it’s a dislike it’s extremely uncomfortable. In fact

there are quite a few words used to describe me that I hear nearly every time I leave my house, whether it be yelled at me from a passing car or muttered under their breath when I get on a bus.

Mental illnesses are also extremely involved in my identity. I’ve had these issues for as long as I can remember and the truth is, I cannot imagine what my life would be like, or even who I would be without them. One of the misconceptions many people have about mental illnesses is that those who deal with them always want to be without them, and for some people I’m sure that’s true.

However in my case my dream is to be able to manage mine; to be able to leave the house when I want to, to be able to wake up every day and get out of bed without a struggle.

The issues I have often remain invisible. And so I’ll often listen to other people talk about crazy and psychotic people without thinking, or about how scary and dangerous people with mental illnesses are. People with anxiety like mine can’t just get over it or stop overthinking. We need support and safe spaces, we might need small changes to the way we submit assignments (I personally use an access plan to get extensions and do exams in a smaller room).

One of the most important things to remember about identity is that for some, identity is chosen by themselves. I’m often reminded of a quote I read somewhere on the internet (so it’s about cats) that discusses the common dilemma faced by cat owners ‘there is a big difference between putting a cat in a box and them getting into it themselves’.

Disclaimer: I don’t presume to speak for everyone with similar identities and issues and these are my own words.

Art by Sheydin Dew. Sheyded Art on Facebook.

c olu m n/ a d v i ce

21

ASK MILTON Genuine advice from your Flinders Duck Lord

Dear Milton, how many feathers do you have and do you give them names? Do you have a favourite one, and why?

With humble homage, Ferdinand Umberto Cornelius Kenneth A’Duck First up, that’s really a bit more than one question, isn’t it? You’ve been a tad greedy with the questions, rather like your stunning excess of names. Although one of them is ‘Umberto’ like Umberto Eco, so I suppose you need the extra names to make up for that misfortune.

Do you weigh as much as a witch?

Anyway, I tried to count my feathers once but there were simply too many and each one was more magnificent than the last so I kept losing track of my favourite. In your case of course, you likely have a head start on the rest of us with your enviable collection of names.

I have a great many friends who are witches but this has never been a question I thought to ask them. I asked them just for you but none of them were very helpful.

If you’re looking for names, just flick through the nearest book and pick words at random. I got ‘beetles’, ‘stones’, and ‘ignorance’ from flicking through mine. Of course this is a bit hit-and-miss and my third feather certainly drew the short straw there.

Regards, M. Hey there Milton,

– Charles Chiam Chuang Chao Hello Charles,

The thing about witches is that they can float so that ruins any chance of accurate weighing. And they’re certainly not above cheating. It is also rude to ask a woman her weight but when you’re as charming as I am, you can get away with it.

Of course very few people are, so that’s always an issue for everyone else to deal with. I can’t help what I am.

Regards, M.

I’ve recently got a job that’s not turning out so well. I have to admit I’m not sure what’s going on and I don’t think anyone else here does. What should I do?

Milton, are you aware bread isn’t healthy for ducks?

Regards, Mr S. Spicer.

I sure am but we all give in to our weaknesses from time to time.

Some hit the alcohol, others do drugs. I do bread. Hard, uncut, Colombian Pure bread.

I am so sorry to hear about this but I think it might be a bit beyond me. Have you tried turning up to work without trousers and visibly drunk? That could help. I think this might be the sort of situation that requires extreme action.

Either that or confess your love for your boss in an overly-attentionseeking manner. Some combination of those should do the trick. You can thank me later.

Sincerely, M.

Would you like to have your question answered by the wise and enigmatic Milton? Contact him on Twitter or Facebook.

Alternatively, scream your questions into the abyss and let the wind do the rest.

– A concerned citizen.

Few people can afford it, but when you’re as successful as me, you’ll be able to afford such expensive habits.

You’ll never be as successful as me. No one will. So don’t feel bad about it.

Regards, M.

@milton_ducklord @miltonducklord

fe atu re / fem i n i sm

Understanding Feminism There is a misunderstanding of what a feminist is and what they stand for Madeline Hand Is the world broken? Why isn’t equality a reality in society? What is feminism? With the passing of International Women’s Day on March 8th and after a recent conversation about feminism, I felt it was time to clear up any misconceptions.

There is significant power in the words we choose; power to influence others and power in the freedom of speech. Some voices need to speak louder than others simply to be heard. These voices belong to minority groups, one of which is women. Minority groups are those who are being marginalised in society. What I cannot understand, is all this stigma attached to these groups. Why are we ignoring those in society that need us most? Why are we not constantly trying to learn and understand more about the people who live in this world? Perhaps we simply never had the time to “Google” these terms.

When I say I am a feminist, people can and do misunderstand what it really means. Feminists may be judged or misunderstood due to ignorance of what the term itself means. I’ve had a few conversations regarding this topic with family and friends who didn’t quite understand what it all meant. A friend said to me that he believed in equality but wasn’t a feminist. A member of my family said he couldn’t be a feminist because he was a man. Thus, there is not a general understanding of what a feminist is and what they stand for.

So, what does it mean? Feminism stands for equality in gender roles within society by raising the social status of women up to the same standards as men. It refers to social, political, and economic equality in our lives. Thus, anyone who believes that women and men should have equal opportunities in life, is a feminist. Malala Yousafzai is one of the most leading figures to fight for women’s education. She was shot for speaking out against the Taliban in 2012, and in 2014 she won a Nobel Peace Prize. She has written a book about her life, and she also opened a school for Syrian refugee girls in Lebanon in 2015.

Although feminism is about equality, it has had several purposes throughout history; including the suffragettes who fought for women’s rights to vote, and for jobs that otherwise were only allowed for men. It’s important to note here that early suffragettes were predominantly white and privileged women who fought for the rights of women like themselves, and feminism has developed through time to include the necessary fight for women of different backgrounds, whether they be differences of race, religion, class, gender identity, or sexuality.

Other examples of feminists in the past few decades have been women who fought against gendered societal customs such as shaving their legs and wearing dresses and make up. Feminism will mean something different in the future but the overall idea will always stay constant.

Why do we still need feminism? The equality of genders is still an issue in every country in the 21st century. Women are seen as having lower social status than men in many different aspects.

This is due to the role of women in society being dictated by traditional cultural customs where women look after children and the house, rather than having a professional and serious career.

It’s also a lack of respect and education as evidenced by the value of “women’s” work in their jobs and professions. This includes the right for women to abort a pregnancy. There’s also the issues of seeing women as “possessions”, as demonstrated though cases of rape and domestic violence, which disproportionately affect women. However, gender roles are constantly changing due to evolving attitudes regarding our society.

When discussing the need for feminism, we also can’t look past women in less developed countries; women who are denied education, are forced into child marriage or sex slavery, and who are trapped in cycles of poverty or abuse in communities with unsafe living conditions. Feminism will help all women across the world.

Globally, education is the key to our future, particularly education for young boys and girls. Teaching them to question, rather than being told what to think. Young girls have the lowest school attendance in poorer countries. Sometimes, this is due to a lack of money or a cultural belief that the girls should work at home rather than the boys. The education of girls needs to be priortised.

Although some customs and traditions are neglected or adapted to better suit a dynamic world, we, as a species, struggle with change. Fear cripples us, often preventing us from questioning what we consider to be “normal” today. It’s our ways of thinking that are stuck in the past and need to change. Only then will the world become a safer and more equal place to live for everyone.

I’m not a history student, so I won’t pretend to know everything.

But I don’t remember being taught in school much about the suffragettes, the women who fought for the right to vote. Women will always have to fight to be heard, along with other minority groups within society, including the disabled community, and the LGBTIQA community. We will need to fight for rights to express out political views, rights over our bodies and, for the LGBTIQA, the right to marry, the right to be recognised as who they are, the right to live and love without fear or abuse.

We all deserve a right to happiness and when our freedom is taken from us, it’s a matter of human rights.

I’d like to finish by acknowledging that feminism is not the only issue in society, but it is one of utmost importance, affecting over half of the population. I do believe myself to be a feminist and think that everyone should be advocating for human rights and be allies to those most disadvantaged in society. What angers me most is that no matter where you are born in the world, you are born at a disadvantage for simply being born female.

Art by Sheydin Dew, Sheyded Art on Facebook.

fe atu re / i nter v i e w

25

An Interview with

Emma Maguire

Empire Times editor Lisandra Linde sat down with associate professor Emma Maguire to talk about her time at Flinders University and her work as a co-founder of The Hearth Collective

When you were a student at Flinders, you were a contributor for Empire Times what were some parts of that experience that you found memorable and how did it influence you post-ET? When I contributed to Empire Times they were probably my first publications that weren’t academic. I had published academically before that but writing for a non-academic audience is so different.

Obviously the word lengths are very different, so I was sort of more aware of (what I was) writing.

There was one piece that I wrote that was about student experience and that was from my experiences as a teacher. I was teaching students and I was noticing that there were these things that no one tells you when you get there as a student and, I don’t know, they’re probably things you should be thinking about.

So there was one piece that was written from my point of view as a teacher and for another other piece I got to interview Alison Bechdel - and oh my god, it was the most fun.

I wanted to write this piece on her and I said ‘hey ET would you be interested in a piece about Alison Bechdel – she’s coming (I think she was here for Writer’s Week or Fringe) and the editor at the time was like, ‘yeah, we’ll see if we can hook you up with an interview’.

I was really nervous but it was such a fun experience and getting to talk to Alison and ask her questions that I was interested in was really excellent.

I had a great experience publishing with Empire Times. Having an editor look at my work and make changes - you learn so much so I highly recommend anyone, if you’re thinking about publishing and if you’re wanting to improve your own writing publishing is definitely the way to do it.

What influence has your time at Flinders University (as an undergrad, postgrad and now associate lecturer/teacher) had on your approach to writing, spoken word and your work surrounding autobiography, digital media and gender?

I studied education at Flinders and then switched to a BA because I changed my mind and thought ‘no, I don’t actually want to be a High school teacher - I want to teach at universities’.

So I switched out to just a BA and then went straight into Honours and then after that I did my PhD here as well, in English literature.

Thinking about my undergrad and my Honours, it was pretty isolating for me. I wasn’t really a mature age student yet so they weren’t my crowd but the school leavers were not really my crowd either.

I find it quite easy to make friends, but because each semester you’re in with a new group of people it was hard to maintain those friendships. So when I got to do my PhD I was like ‘What am I going to do in this experience to make it different?’

fe atu re / i nter v i e w

I found that community was something that became really important to me, trying to make those friendships and create a sense of collegiality.

In the Humanities at Flinders we have the WHIP (WorksHonestly – In Progress) conference. It was started by Tully Barnett and Ben Kooyman back in 2008. Each year when WHIP comes up it needs an organisational team. I put my hand up for that when I was starting my PhD and thought it would be a good way to meet new people. I found that I really liked this community building, so I ended up starting some writing lock-ins.

I would book out a computer room pretty regularly and people could come and do their writing altogether. We’d book it out for three hours, do a bunch of writing and then all go have lunch together. And that was great, we were doing work, we could talk about our woes - when you do a PhD you have a lot of woes (laughs).

We were there one night and Lauren and I thought, ‘wouldn’t it be great if there was another event like this for like a broader audience?’.

We got a little bit excited about it and very carried away in our planning and we got Alicia and Melanie onboard. Because we had been going to writing retreats together for a little while and work really well together, we thought - this is something we could all do together. Why don’t we organise a night where a bunch of people come and read some of their work, but also comment on their work?

What we really like to talk about when we get together the mechanics of the writing - why do you write? What do you do when you write?

What’s your process? What are you trying to do with this piece?

Where does it fit in the larger body of your work? I want to hear what the writer wants to say about it. That always, for me, makes a piece of writing a lot richer.

Community is something that ended up being quite important to me as a scholar, as a thinker, and to be a good colleague.

Were there any extra-curricular activities/clubs that helped you, or that you would recommend to current students and contributors to ET? Find what interests you and do that. That’s probably my most basic advice - if you find what interests you and be honest about it. Pursue that and you’ll find other people that are interested in it as well. You can bond over that and that makes socializing, spurring each other on and encouraging each other easier.

You are also one of the co-founders of The Hearth Collective, can you give a little explanation of what The Hearth is and how it came to be?

The Hearth is a regular night of literary readings in Adelaide.

It’s really an event for emerging writers here in Adelaide. It’s organized by The Hearth Collective - of which I am a part.

The other members are Alicia Carter, Lauren Butterworth and Melanie Pryor.

We all met at Flinders university when we were doing our PhDs. We were all at different stages of our PhDs and we were all in English Lit. The other three girls were all in Creative Writing and I’m in Literature, but we all knew each other through the WHIP community. Lauren used to codirect an event called Speakeasy, which, hopefully all of the Flinders community should know about.

Speakeasy is an undergraduate reading event created by Theresa Meads, who was a really core part of the writing community here at Flinders for a long time. Lauren and Alicia directed Speakeasy for quite a while. When they had stopped doing that we would still go to all the Speakeasy events to support the undergraduates.

(Pictured) Emma Maguire

27

(Pictured: Above)The Hearth Collective: Melanie Pryor, Lauren Butterworth, Emma Maguire and Alicia Carter (Below) Emma Maguire during Q&A at The Hearth- Photo credit: Lauren Butterworth There are many spoken word events popping up around Adelaide - what do you think it is that sets The Hearth apart?

I think it’s definitely that focus on conversation. We’re definitely about the work, and that’s what brings the whole community together - we’re all working and we’re all producing work. We want to hear the work of others, but it’s really that focus on comments and conversation.

The other thing that I think might set us apart is that we’re quite open and really flexible. We’re interested in experimentation, so we don’t really organise events around form. We like anything: performance art, poetry, spoken word, prose, life writing - we like all forms of writing - all the writing! We’re welcoming to all sorts of people to come and feel like it’s a place they can have their intellects stimulated.

What advice would you give to writers at university?

Get to know other writers, share your work, be generous and then other people will be generous with you, and publish as soon and as much as you can.

So we created this night and we all read a piece and our friends Piri Eddy and Peter Beaglehole were really generous and gave us their time. The first night went great. People were like, ‘When’s the next one?’, and we were like, ‘Oh, I guess we’ll put on another one then’.

Following this interview The Hearth was nominated for an Adelaide Fringe Award for best event

We just had a couple shows for Fringe. I guess we’ll just keep doing it until it stops being fun, or stops working.

To find out more about The Hearth visit their website: thehearthsite.wordpress.com Interview by Lisandra Linde

fe atu re / exch ange

LETTER FROM THE U.S

L e e S a lvem ini A Flinders student reports back home from his student exchange in Austin, Texas, through a series of letters to Empire Times magazine/ Howdy y’all, or in Australian, G’day mates.

Quick facts about Austin: Capital of Texas, 1 million people, it embraces its big country town image, growing as a hub for hightech industry, it’s the music capital of America, the population is 35% Mexican, and they eat tacos for breakfast!

First thing’s first: Texas is not like the rest of America, and Austin is not like Texas. Our sister city, Austin, is a lil’ gem in the wide open spaces of the southern expanse and I am here on a sixmonth exchange in the middle of winter enjoying 30c clear skies.

I will delve into university life and Austin co-op living in future instalments, but for now I’m going to introduce you to the Austin I have witnessed. This may appear in the American speak I have adopted.

In a city of one million the people here are so polite with a, ‘Yes, ma’am’, ‘Yes, sir’. Cars wait at intersections for you to cross and no need for roundabouts, they wait patiently in turn to let each car progress in the order they arrive at the intersection. Tooting is only for a gentle wake up if the driver happens to be enjoying the Credence song and drifted off. They do, however, drive on the wrong side of the road, and even now after six weeks, my neck is on a permanent swivel as I look left, right, left, right … And, we only cross at intersections, and do not cross against the signals – I heard an older couple gasp in amazement as they witnessed a rebel, ‘Did you see that person, they jaywalked right across the road?’

The surrounds are similar with pecan trees replacing gum trees on the tree lined streets and critters are similar to Adelaide with spoggies abound, but squirrels, you can’t walk outside without seeing a squirrel, replace our possums. I saw my first woodpecker the other day and a black bird called a Grackle is in abundance like our pigeons but I’m yet to see a roadrunner - which caused much mirth when I asked if they were actually a “real” critter.

How convenient that the streets running east-west are numbered north of the Colorado river - running through town like the River Torrens – on either side of the Interstate which is a two-story 16 lane highway that runs north-south through the middle of the city, and people’s backyards. My keen eye picked up, however, that if they forgot a street when they were naming them, well they called it 23 ½ street - ingenious! I haven’t noticed, but I expect if one was found between Rio Grande St and Nueces St they’d call it Rio Grande ½!

The Oz accent serves me well to meeting folks. I was downtown the other day asking advice at the Greyhound station regarding a trip to San Antonio, and after going into great detail the woman said, “Yeah, I know what you want, I just wanted you to keep talking.”

Speaking of downtown (the city), it’s the weirdest thing: there is no central shopping precinct. It is all multi-story office buildings. Very few small shops and a few eating places, but if you want shopping you have to go find a shopping center. No problem for students though: public transport is FREE. There is the equivalent of Hindley St which is aptly named Dirty 6. It is the music street on East 6th, which sports many late night bars, rowdy bands, fights, excesses of most kinds, and lots of fun.

Why is Austin different? It has a social conscience which is acted upon – no apathy here. I walked downtown the other day and found myself in a peaceful demonstration with 25,000 other concerned folks. Ranging in age from prams to walkers, the message to the Trump administration about women’s rights was loud and clear.

And, as a supportive liberal city, it has had its federal budget reduced by the Governor by $1.5 million because it supports the needs of illegal immigrants. City officials are refusing to allow ICE (Immigration & Customs Enforcement) access to shopping malls and supermarkets to shake-down “illegals”.

The final word: I love Austin’s motto which is, “Keep Austin Weird”.

I think Adelaide has the peeps and the spirit to embrace such a worthy ethos.

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Straight White Men...

The Jewish Nazi’s Guide to the Ethics of Punching Communists

Aden Beaver and Tom Goldblatt Ever since Donald Trump’s victory I have been much more open about being a Nazi. Instead of saying ‘Hello’, I now open my conversations with a friendly little ‘Heil’; I point in a manner that replicates the Nazi salute; I’ve started wearing brown shirts and smashing in windows; and I’ve been able to get away with it all with absolutely no consequences. Needless to say, HanuKKKah has been a very confusing time for me.

But, if there’s one thing that I can’t stand, it’s the Communists.

Their ideals are just so far from mine and I disagree with everything that they say. Now I feel that by letting them speak, they are letting out dangerous ideas that could lead to violence against my kind, so the only way to fight their speech is by punching them. Punching Communists is a western tradition that goes back at least seventy years. Captain America says it’s okay to punch Communists, then it must be okay for me to do so too.

Don’t believe me? Then I wish to bring to your attention just how bad it will be if we allow communists to keep going on without bruises. Everyone’s heard of SALT, the Socialist Alternative.* SALT is a word that drives a stake of fear into every university student’s heart. SALT blocks the stairways. They force themselves onto you.

They won’t rest until you sign a petition or buy a clever little “Fuck (Insert current Prime Minister’s name here)” badge from one of their capitalist (irony) stalls.

Now imagine what will happen if they take power. Realistically, close to fuck all will happen, as they’re more experienced in whining than creating stable systems of government, but worst case scenario, they’ll make you sign more worthless petitions protesting their own government. Irony again.

With Stalin’s death toll reaching 50 million (not including wartime fatalities although his Scorched Earth policy caused even more deaths) and Mao’s 78 million deaths (45 million of which came in four years during the Great Leap Forward), we cannot let such a dangerous ideology take a foothold in Australia! I say burn the holy texts of Marx and Lenin, rip apart the little red books, and shred the faces of Che! I will not stand by while these degenerates try to undermine my liberties, and try to place me in a gulag where I will not return!

Do your national duty today and punch a Communist.** It’s that easy to be on the right side of history. *Don’t act like Socialism isn’t the same as Communism. We all know it is. **The authors of this satire do not condone violence (Nor are we Nazis) Get a grip of yourselves.

I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO

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Living with the Dead Richard Falkner

BY MARK TRIMBOLI [TRIGGER WARNING: DRUG USE, SELF HARM]

Sid lay on his bed, thinking. The darkness dyed the silence I was taking a As shower, blasting water onto anything my head to shock the amaranthine. long as he didn’t move, was possible. sleep out of system. anyone: A battered was chattering He could bemy anything, as pocket long asradio he didn’t move. His away on the window The lead on in thean news bulletin thoughts bounced offledge. the walls like story echoes empty shell. recounted the factswas of the latest a recurring Martin, however, busy in chapter the nextof room.

Withscenario. nervous, A man movements fighting for his lifebrush in a hospital ICU of after getting into an furtive stroked arcs colour, feeble stains altercation withDuring five prison warders in the State’s worst jail. The of self intent. the long nights Martin would sometimes injuredbrush man, an Indigenous Australian, wasfor being held on remand pause, poised, ear cocked, listening sound from the next there. But I feltSid regret and anger, but continued with room. lay silent, thinking, only waiting formy theshower. dawn.

Overbrothers breakfast, as much; soddena flat, Weet-Bix descended The shared a kitchen, the one into toilet my –a stomach,forI painting. wonderedSid- worked was it possible? passion during theWas day. my His mate imagesRigby hung thenails pooraround bastardthe lying almost in ICU? It would explain a on room, or indead a jumble of rectangled canvases few things. likely coincidence. Yet in Adelaide, all against the Nah, walls.more His art layaundiscovered, unrevealed, hidden coincidental happenings were possible. used ‘picks’ and a dusty, away in a room of striped floorboards, forgotten sunlight. Martin was less gifted but driven, consumed I first him a bus one shortly after I by the encountered desire to match hison brother’s skill, evening his talent.

So he painted moved a neighbourhood a challenging reputation.

He all nighttoand then peddled with his déclassé work by day, hawking was pissed and making presence felt. hoping Three somewhere, kilometres fusty prints down the runhis of lesser galleries, before my stop – about ten or so the But city all centre – the somehow, to find a benefactor orclicks kindlyfrom patron. he got was driver had a gutful, pulled the bus to the curbAnd to wait for the cops chaffy praise and a cheque that never came. he knew that the to come and dealthem, with the him.money He was big their dudeparent’s and a crude dude, funds that kept from estate, was blathering incoherently all but spent and gone. to anyone in range. The occasional word would emerge from his babble and ricochet around the vehicle.

In themet fewatminutes we awere waiting they combined to form a They breakfast; lutescent dawn sent cold fingers of light faint patternhazy – justice, freedom, white,smoke wrong,and bastards, action, to tourney ribbons of cigarette burning, white now, fucking now! ash.

He mustI have anIold at this type of predicament.

‘When look been at you, seehand a world trapped under the slide He of a timed his run to perfection. He lumbered and bumbled down the microscope.’ aisle and hovered over the driver, spraying the poor bugger with the right spittle and to ensure the up. doors ‘Huh – combination what do youofmean?’

Sid invective didn’t bother to look He were opened in sufficient time for him to make good his escape pulled at the thin, rubber strop, tightening; the vein stood out like the coppers amoments crooked before blue railway line onpulled a map.up. Despite his behaviour, I found myself cheering on the inside as he folded into the night shadows.

‘I mean they way things move, the way things happen – like we’re bloody microbes or something; amoebas – little squirmy things, I saw him a‘round few weeks laterdish, in the Mall splashing - Adelaideabout, is suchonly a swimming in a Petri blindly small place.

He was sitting on the ground strumming a guitar – waiting for that next...’ busking. An Aboriginal Flag was carefully laid out in front of him.

The words NOW’ were stencilled across the golden At this, Sid‘TREATY looked up; he flashed black eyes like holes in theorb sky. in the middle of the flag. A bunch

. .of. CDs were arranged in a fan

As usual, the function was a bore. Martin scanned the faces, near onefor corner of the An upturned satbright next lights to thebeat fan searching his lover.

Heflag. wanted an escape.hat The withthe the words ‘make a difference’ inscribed on shadows the insidethat of upon milling crowd and threw garish, harpie-like the brim. singing Archie Roach’s ‘Charcoal Lane’ with danced uponHe thewas walls.

Awkward figures draped in Lycra gowns of his eyesand shut, appearing to connect with the lyrics. behind the tangerine puce stood chatting, skeletal flamingos looking glass. Bangles of copper and gold adorned a bevy of hired When heasfinished the few people listeningand gave him a imported round of hostesses they parried trays of cocktails nibbles applause. people stepped forward to drop coins and the from France.Some The winning art filled a feature panel.

In pride of occasional note into the hat.

Several walked He didn’t place hung Forever – Martin’s piece.

He had won away. first prize, again. interact much, preferring to launch into the next song. He said ityou was one of his own and was bitleave.’ as haunting ‘There are, Michaelangelo.

Let’sitgo – Ievery want to Archie cover. voice, The straightforward simple Atas thehis sound of Martin’s Michael turned,lyrics let goand of the arm recounted story to, of loss deprivation.

By the half song’s of tune the man he was atalking and and in mock surprise spilled his end,over thethe small crowd that had gathered clapped and tipped drink front of Martin’s tuxedo. generously. I needed to leave, so I placed a five-dollar note in the hat and nodded at him and thanked him for his singing. He His art lay undiscovered, unrevealed, smirked uncomfortably and looked away.

“

”

hidden away in a room of striped I saw Rigby performing in and around the Mall several times floorboards, used ‘picks’ andfamiliar a dusty, over the next couple of months.

I had become with his songs and their stories. Originally I lingered in the background forgotten sunlight. before making a hurried dash to drop money in the hat before

leaving. However, one day I was in no hurry and a bit distracted.

‘You’re drunk – again!’ Martin turned on his heel. He angrily I noticed Rigby gesturing and calling me to join him. I stepped brushed a lemon slice from his jacket’s lapel and strode off; exit forward. He invited me to sit down next to him and I accepted stage left. Michael performed a clumsy glissade in attempt to his offer. Before launching into his next song he gave me a small catch him up, but the move was a disaster. grin and a nod and, without making eye contact, proceeded to He tripped on the corner of a rug and fell to the floor amongst the talk. stares and smirks and upraised eyebrows of the gathered, fancy guests.

‘I just wanted to thank you mate for all of your support and generosity.’

‘There was a forty-pound monkey on my back,’ sighed Frank Sinatra from the screen. Martin’s favourite movie, The Man with ‘It’s not much,’ I replied. ‘I really like your music.’ the Golden Arm, was the background soundtrack as the two aged paramours argued, spat invectives, and refused to look each ‘Nothing? Bullshit, mate, you’re my biggest shareholder.’ other in the eye. The scene played out in Martin’s penthouse suite. The décor, quasi-minimalist with flourishes of bronze and I grinned, somewhat inanely, realising there were depths to him chrome to impregnate the muted lavender and industrial viridian. much deeper than the stereotype. There’s not much else to say.

The furnishings: angular and sparse. They strode about, drinks in I sat there next to him, tapping my foot to the rhythm and the hand, sloshing; sloshed, both filled with a burning desire to be beats as he sang, originals and covers about stolen children, heard above the din of guilt that filled their ears. destruction of culture, land rights, exploitation, recognition, and treaty.

ART

BY SHEYDIN DEW

cre at ive / f i c ti on

After that afternoon, I regularly sat in with Rigby. I heard bits and pieces of his life story, when he was willing to share it. A Ngarluma man, born in the Pilbara northern Western Australia, he drifted gradually south eastward, ending up in Adelaide.

‘Why the move?’ I once asked.

‘Needed to.’ was his oblique, abrupt reply.

There was a story there that he couldn’t tell. Too much pain and suffering went into its construction.

‘Will you ever go back?’ I asked on another occasion.

‘Yeah, one day.’ he replied.

I asked him one afternoon about why he distinguished treaty and recognition. ‘Aren’t you splitting hairs?’

‘Fuck off,’ he replied. ‘Recognition is a bullshit smoke screen.

Makes white fellas feel good, that they’re doing something but gives blacks nothing but words. Words don’t feed people. A treaty shows intent. Treaties shift lands, resources and rights between the two peoples. We’re the only first nations in the Commonwealth of Nations without a treaty you know? Why not us?’

We didn’t always talk about the heavy stuff. In fact, it was easier to get him talking about music or the footy than it was about his back story. As well as Archie, he was a big fan of all the big name indigenous musos from Jimmy Little and Yothu Yindi, through to Gurrumul and Thelma Plum. Paul Kelly was another fave and the bridge between our musical experiences.

Any mention of footy would get him raving about his beloved Purple Haze - ‘Freo, way to go,’ plus a good deal of trashing of the ‘silver-spooners’ - West Coast and Adelaide.

Then he disappeared. I didn’t see him for weeks. I wondered if he’d moved on? I could see him in his country. Maybe he’d yielded to the call to go home. I played his CD, and, when I shut my eyes, I’d lose myself in his lyrics. As I walked with him, in my mind’s eye, through the red dirt of his country I recalled his hat.

I’d find myself saying out loud, ‘I will make a difference.’

It’s a strange thing about human beings; that someone with whom we share just a few brief encounters can have a profound influence on the course of our life. Though I hadn’t seen him again, the ideas Rigby sowed had sprouted over the intervening months. I started by reading Facebook posts, Indigenous people giving voice to the impact of genocide and injustice on their lives. I read further, and now I fully understood why he’d told me to fuck off when I confused recognition with treaty.

Today, despite the sad news of the prison beating, or maybe because it adds fuel to the flames, will be a significant day.

I’m heading into the city to attend the Invasion Day rally – where both Indigenous and non-Indigenous Australians come together with a united voice for a fairer more tolerant and inclusive nation. Treaty now – fucking now! We can make a difference!

c re at ive / p o e tr y

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HOME D av id Fab er

away from home, within cooee of the Tavern’s ocean vista and sea breeze, distracted by the passing parade and reclining in an all weather bean bag in the astral amphitheatre with a book while the big screen orientates freshers as the ducks amble by, reminding me of sizzling plum sauce.

cre at ive / p o e tr y

BE B.M

Save!

Save everyone except yourself.

Mind your grades and mind your wealth, Mind your job, but not your health.

Be thankful.

“Forget to put you first,” she said, “Other people have it worse, “Your privilege is not a curse” Be grateful.

Give!

Give your money to the poor, Give your body to the law, Give everything you have and more.

Be useful.

Now my mind is in a mess, I’m depressed, suppressed, And impossibly oppressed.

I’m empty.

Yet you still have the audacity To attempt to control me, To attempt to mould me.

It’s sickening.

cre at ive / p o e tr y

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YOU ARE L e e za von A lp en

You are a soft magic An infectious laughter Milk and honey brewed with light You bring the dawn to a tediously endless night Because you radiate warmth—it’s like a flare Ethereal, luminous, bright That thaws frost One evening of talking and Just like that, your words ended Winter And, like a daisy unfurling in the sunlight, I opened up to your sunshine Whispering loud thoughts with a tentative tongue Because these are words only ever thought, never uttered First time muttered Beneath the shining stars on your ceiling Stars that are guttering candles Compared to your glow And you should know That you couldn’t see me in the darkness that evening But while we were laughing, I closed my smiling eyes Beaming, soul warm, because Your heart is full of colour And you make the world vivid, vivacious You are a gentle breeze of Spring; A listener; a talker; A journey and an adventure; A most beloved friend; You are, simply put, You

For the Love of Footy Kim Potter There may not always be a rhyme or reason for the things that we do or the things that we say, but by golly it can feel absolutely glorious to just get under someone’s skin – the way they got under yours – like a ticking time bomb. I’d like to say that my inappropriate behaviour was a result of being twenty-two hours into the 40- hour famine, but no, not even having my period was a plausible excuse. I’d been wanting to piss off Pauline for quite some time. Payback I guess? In hindsight I probably should’ve skipped Step class, you know on account of me being slightly ketosis and all, but it was my one outlet. It was my sanctuary and once you’d learnt the basic steps such as basic left, basic right, tap up, repeater, pivot, diagonal, over the top and mambo –cha- cha, the only real brain power required is knowing your left from your right. There was something euphoric about the upbeat music, room filled with women clad in brightly coloured Lorna Jane ensembles, and the sound of Mazz bellowing commands as she too climbed an invisible staircase.

Alas, it was my asylum – until Pauline the sarky old cow invaded my space with her repulsive cheap cotton yellow t-shirt, nasal voice and overpowering stench of celebrityendorsed perfume that smelt less like exotic fruits and more like a lactating camel.

She placed her step in my usual spot and from that day on Step class felt more like a recurring bad dream.

I have fairly short legs, so my step is only one platform high and although Pauline’s not much taller her step is always three platforms high. Nothing would have pleased me more than to see her completely miss the step and fall flat on her stupid face. I’m not usually the type of person to wish bad upon another, but just the sight of her was enough to summon the psychotic killer in me. *

Have you ever just looked at someone and instantly thought – what an arsehole? You don’t know them from a bar of soap but somehow it’s written all over their face.

Well – that’s exactly how I felt when I first met Pauline. Come to think of it, watching her shoo Walt like an annoying fly didn’t help. I have to admit, the first time Walt had approached me his musty mixture of B.O. and garden topsoil triggered an involuntary gag reflex which I’m slightly embarrassed about now, as he’s my friend.

He resides under a thick canopy of trees and shrubbery adjacent to the carpark of the gym, and is the most generous person I know. * You know that feeling you have sometimes when you’re in a hurry, you get out of your car, walk about ten steps, pause and think – bugger – did I lock it? Yep – that was me, and that was the moment I’d first spotted her. I mean, it was hard not to notice the frizzy copper-haired woman frantically waving her arm around in the air as if she was wafting burnt toast fumes away from a smoke detector. I was heading back towards my car and spotted Walt approaching her.

One thing you need to know about Walt is, he’s a chatterbox. He especially loves to talk footy, and it was my Port Power guernsey that first caught his eye nearly three years ago today. I’ll always remember him saying ‘You’re wearing the wrong colours, love’.

Certainly nicer than having someone throw a coke can at you.

As the madwoman walked past me through the carpark, she advised me to be careful of the wacko over by the bushes. Yuck, I can still smell her rancid cigarette breath now just thinking about that day. Don’t you just hate those awkward public interactions with twats you don’t know, nor particularly want to know? Anyway, as you do - I just simply nodded my head and smiled

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awkwardly as I’d checked my car door – and yes it was locked.

After gesturing to Walt that I’d catch up with him after class, the timer on my Garmin beeped, I was late for the class.

I had raced past the basketball courts, down the stairs, threw my gym bag over the only vacant hook and then manoeuvred my way through the double sized studio, packed with women marching on the spot in front of their elevated rubber platforms. Luckily that day my exercise buddy Atki had already set up a step for me.

As always, Mazz began her class by bellowing, ‘Ok, ladies have a quick sip, lose the layers and let’s get stepping’. It was pretty much routine.

‘Love the colour of your new Nikes, Atki’, I’d said whilst peeling off my jumper. I think I was wearing my sister’s apple green Lulu Lemon fleece – between you and me, I still haven’t returned it. Oh, and another thing, I have a sneaker fetish.

‘Thanks Bindi, my cousin sent them over last week’, Atki had replied.

That was the moment she butted in, ‘Oh, that reminds me of a joke I once heard, what does Nike and the KK………’.

As luck had it, Mazz cranked up the music, rescuing my ears from her irritating tone. I turned to face the stupid Muppet, yep, my ears hadn’t failed me – it was Crazy carpark woman. Her bag was hanging next to mine and for the second time that day I nodded my head and smiled awkwardly. It was a dam shame that Morpheus didn’t come and offer me that red pill - I could’ve been so far down that rabbit hole by now that we wouldn’t even be having this conversation.

The following week the football team I support, Port Power won against their rivals, the Crows. I wore my Port shirt because Walt loves a bit of friendly banter, but he wasn’t there. I found out later that he was off visiting his wife and son. They are both buried under the shade of a beautiful Oriental Plain tree at Centennial Park. This is how I learnt of Walt’s fondness for AFL. He said that Ben was practically born with a footy in his hands, so it was no surprise when he mentioned that his son was the number one Crow’s draft pick in 2006.

Sadly, a month after he’d been upgraded to play for the squad, his mother Wendy and he died sheltering in the spa of their home during a freak firestorm in the Adelaide Hills. I think Walt takes comfort knowing that their final moments were spent each other’s arms.

For once I was early to class, and decided to meditate for a few minutes. Just as I had rolled out my yoga mat, the smell of Britney Spears Fantasy wafted up my nose, causing me to sneeze.

Somehow without even looking, I just knew it was the carpark air controller – Pauline. It’s written in gold diamantes across her gym bag.

‘Where’s the little Chinese lass’, she’d asked.

‘Atki’s working, and by the way she’s Japanese’, I’d replied sharply.

‘What’s the difference?’.

I’m usually quite the diplomat in these kinds of situations, but there was just something about Pauline that reeked of confrontation, and I really hate conflict. Besides, the gym was my sanctum and I wasn’t about to contaminate it with her negativity. So, I just avoided eye contact and walked off to get my step. When I’d returned Pauline had scrunched up my mat and was in my spot. Seriously, what was wrong with this woman? The last time I’d ever felt that uncomfortable was during my last gynaecology appointment.

Warmup had finished and as per usual everyone went to strip off their winter layers. As I walked back into the studio I looked in the floor to ceiling mirror, and staring back at me was Pauline.

She was wearing an oversized gold, navy and red t-shirt with signatures scribbled all over it. Pauline was a Crows supporter.

Judging by all those signatures, she’s wasn’t just any supporter, she was a hard-core fanatic. At that point a mild sedative seemed more appealing than meditation – on second thoughts, a tranquiliser gun would have been perfect.

Watching the footy suddenly took on a whole new meaning.

Rather than actually enjoying the fierce competitiveness of the game, all I could picture was Pauline’s dopey looking face smirking at me in the mirrors if Port lost – which was inevitable. Besides the one win against the Crows, they were having a shocking season. Walt kept asking me why I continued to go to step class if she pissed my off so much. I know it sounds childish, but I was there first. I had been a member well before she joined the gym. * Finally, the footy season was coming to an end. I was hoping that a combination of that, the cricket season approaching, and a little vitamin D absorption from the sun –might have stopped Pauline from behaving like such a twat. Regrettably, no such luck. As I’d swiped my membership card at the counter, Pauline walked in whinging about Walt to someone on her mobile; which also has her name written in gold diamantes on it.

‘Why hasn’t the council done anything about him? It’s illegal what he’s doing’.

Then she quickly grabbed me as I was trying to sneak off.

‘Bindi, is that your new sporty little blue Mazda in the car park?’

‘Yeah, why’d you ask?’

‘Well, as I got out of my car I heard a loud bang and soon after I noticed someone putting a note on your windscreen’.

I was out of there faster than the Millennium Falcon in hyperspace.

There was no note! No scratch – nothing! I searched the whole car looking for scratches, what was the stupid cow on about this time, delusional twit! There was absolutely nothing wrong with my car - nothing. EXCEPT! The sticky fricking Crows sticker stuck on my front windscreen: driver’s side. As I began to peel it off, so did my new tint. For the love of god, who does that! I went looking for Walt. I needed to calm down, and then I realised the time. He does volunteer work every Friday at the same time I do Step. I kept pacing the carpark thinking to myself – actually I may have said it aloud – what is wrong with this lunatic? Then it came to me.

Class had finished and as always Pauline headed straight to the change rooms to take a shower. I waited until I heard the water running and quietly tiptoed into the locker room. Her precious Crow’s t-shirt was hanging up on a hook alongside her bag. I grabbed it, and while I was at it – her towel just for good measure, and got out of there asap.

Once I’d washed the awful stench of cheap perfume out of it (which, by the way, took five washes) I knew exactly what I was going to do with it. * ‘Morning Walt, we’ll have coffee after your volunteering today, and by the way you’re wearing the wrong colours, love’, I said as I made my way across the carpark. And for the first time EVER Pauline was silent. Although, her scarlet red cheeks and crazed expression spoke volumes.

stu d e nt c ou nc i l /pre si d ent’s rep or t

Student Council President Nothing says pressure like trying to get your President article submitted in time.

My apologies for missing last issue.

It’s starting to become a busy time at university, with assignments starting to pile up; however, next month something that affects all of us will happen and it vital that we all pay close attention.

Jordon O’Reilly Contact Jordon directly via email student.president@ flinders.edu.au, or visit fusa.edu. au or call us on 8201 2371.

The Federal Government is due to release the 2017 Budget in early May, the first for the Liberal’s second term in power. This time brings a lot of anxiety to the higher education sector, as the university system is reliant on government funding in order to operate.

So far we have seen from the Government attack after attack on the higher education system. In 2015 the government failed to pass things such as a deregulation of university fees (twice), a 20% cut to the higher education sector. This on top of things, such as cutting your take home pay, access to Centrelink. Last year the Minister for Education, Simon Birmingham said that the government would not look to progress its higher education agenda until 2017.

The currently climate means that higher education will be a target for budget savings. What that looks like however is up for speculation. I anticipate that we will see another cut to higher education, maybe not at the 20% as previously

stated. The possibility of deregulation by stealth could also be on the cards, with our university alongside the Innovative Research Universities (IRU), have long advocated for flag ship degrees (being able to have the university specialise in a certain degree and charge more for it). To me, it would be very bold for the government to try and pass for deregulation again, to have it fail a third time would be a very big embarrassment for the government.

I’ve been speaking with the NUS welfare officer Jill Molloy who has been busy lobbying politicians in Canberra who had this to say on why paying attention to the budget matters “Going by what Minsiter Birmingham and Treasurer Morrison have said, this budget will propose a 20% cut to universities, cuts to HEPP and partially deregulated degrees. Not to mention the cuts that will be seen to the welfare of students and low income earners. Students should follow the budget closely as these measures will directly impact our experiences at university and at work.

Come budget time, it’s important for you to be aware of the effects it could have on you and your study. AND BE READY TO VOICE YOUR CONCERNS.

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stu d e nt c ou nc i l /i nter v i e w

Student Council Welfare Officer YOUR STUDENT COUNCIL IS MADE UP OF 19 POSITIONS, AND WE’LL INTRODUCE YOU TO ALL OF THE COUNCIL MEMBERS IN EMPIRE TIMES THROUGHOUT 2017/

What drew you to the position of Welfare Officer?

Since starting on Student Council last year I have enjoyed the opportunity to represent students on particular matters, especially those related to student wellbeing. For this reason, I saw it fit to nominate for the position of Welfare Officer to align with my interests of student rights and interest.

Hilary Wigg

Contact Hilary directly via email, welfare.officer@flinders.edu.au or visit fusa.ed.au or call us on 8201 2371.

To keep up to date with welfare events, Like FUSAWelfare Collective on Facebook.

Welfare is such a broad portfolio for a student representative; however, by working alongside autonomous roles such as Women’s Officer and Disabilities Officer, I hope I can work towards improving a few services that students need at a low cost and burden. I am also very passionate about making our campus culture inviting and accepting, along with being an exciting and vibrant place to study and relax.

What are you hoping to achieve this year as Welfare Officer?

As Welfare Officer, the main projects and initiatives that I am focusing on are around making life a little bit easier for students as we live our day to day life. Ways that I am working towards this are through events such as the continuation of Welfare Breakfasts 3 days a week including 1 hot breakfast spread out across different campuses.

New initiatives of mine include the distribution of free sanitary products in bathrooms across campus to utilise if students are faced with an emergency or to lessen the burden of these monthly costs.

These will be available across 9 locations from April 26th.

I am also organising an event for the 9th of May that will bring necessary services and organisations to Flinders that students and

young adults may need to be aware of and learn more about, for example: organisations relevant to tax, superannuation, budgeting, income support, unions, health/wellbeing, careers etc.

These are the main events for this semester, but I am always happy to hear students’ ideas about events or initiatives they want to see at Flinders and hopefully we can organise it together!

Why is Welfare Officer an important position for Flinders University?

Simply put, FUSA is here to make life a little bit easier for students and to work through issues they are facing mainly in relation to their academic or financial position. Therefore, the whole of Student Council should always have the welfare and wellbeing of the students of Flinders University at the forefront of their mind when making decisions that impact students. However, it is also essential to have a specific representative focused on welfare issues to ensure the necessary capacity is given to these matters.

Flinders University students, along with students nationally, are facing a number of attacks on our welfare, such as the cuts to penalty rates, fake Centrelink debt notices and the impending deregulation of University fees. These matters need strong student union opposition where we actively fight back against the Liberal government’s constant attacks on student’s welfare. FUSA will always work with the National Union of Students to bring national campaigns to our campuses and promote the voice of Flinders students nationwide.

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Empire Times Quiz 1). Which book won the ‘Booker of Bookers’ in 1993?

2). Who is the voice of BoJack Horseman in the eponymous Netflix series?

3). What was the name of the magazine that briefly replaced Empire Times as Flinders Univesity’s student magazine?

4). When was Vanilla Coke first introduced?

5). What was the fifth James Bond novel?

6). What conflict did the Treaty of Versailles signify the end of?

7). The Tyger was a 1794 poem written by whom?

8). To what fiction does Gallifrey belong?

9). Name the 25th National Security Advisor who served for less than a month at the beginning of the Trump Administration.

10). Name the AFL player who won Brownlow medals in both 2003 and 2006.

11). What is Kylo Ren’s birth name?

12). What is the orbital period of Neptune?

13). What element makes up 21% of Earth’s atmosphere?

14). The alcoholic beverage grappa originates from which country?

15). Which animal has the largest brain?

16). What does RAM stand for in computing?

17). What vitamin is produced by a person’s exposure to sunlight?

18). ‘Los Pollos Hermanos’ was a fast food joint run by Gus Fring in which American hit TV series?

19). Who reportedly described Donald Trump’s inauguration as ‘some weird shit’?

20). Which country’s highest peak is Mount Cook?

21). What was the highest grossing film of 2015?

22). In which Australian state are the Grampians?

23). What is the most highly subscribed online role playing game?

24). How many installments have there been in the Elder Scrolls game series?

25). On which book was Blade Runner based?

1). Midnight’s Children. 2). Will Arnett. 3). Libertine. 4). 2002. 5).

From Russia With Love. 6). Word War I 7). William Blake. 8). Doctor Who 9). Michael Flynn. 10). Adam Goodes. 11). Ben Solo. 12). 165 years. 13). Oxygen. 14). Italy. 15). Sperm Whale. 16). Random Access Memory. 17). Vitamin D. 18). Breaking Bad. 19). George W. Bush. 20). New Zealand. 21). Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens. 22). Victoria. 23). World of Warcraft. 24). Five. 25). Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? by Philip K. Dick.

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fe atu re / un i ver sity

10 Things I’ve Learnt So Far at Flinders, as told by a first year Amy Davis

As a first year, many things go through your brain. Will I get lost? Will I know people in my classes? Will I get overloaded with work and want to drop out?

Being a first year is hard, especially if you come straight from high school. There is that cliché that you’ve gone from being a big fish in a small pond, to being the small fish in a big pond, and it sucks.

The good news is that time flies (another cliché), and all too soon we will be graduating (scary!)

Here is a list of 10 things I have learnt so far as a first year at Flinders University, and I’m passing them on in the hopes that they’ll help other first years too:

1. Number one has to be the massive difference between high school and university. Lecturers and tutors aren’t going to tell you what you have to do, other students have very little interest whether you look or act “cool,” and that cute guy you saw?

Chances are you’ll never see him again.

2. Lectures are long. Who knew that two hours could feel like two days?

8. Free stuff is always appreciated.

Enough said.

3. How easy it is to get lost. Like, really lost. Having only one class over “the other side of the lake?” It’s like Dorothy going to Oz, everything is different and you don’t know how to get home.

9. Parking. Is. Death. Siberia is my new haunting ground because I die every time I walking up that bloody hill.

4. Speaking of “the other side of the lake,” I am 90% sure there is a rivalry between the two sides.

Clearly arts/humanities is better, but you science people keep telling yourself whatever you need to make yourselves feel better.

5. Ducks. The obsession is real. I’d be hard pressed to go a day where I don’t see a picture of a duck on someone’s Snapchat story.

6. That 99.9% of university students have no idea what the hell is going on in their life (proven statistic from some fancy reliable source).

7. Referencing. If you don’t do this you may be hung, drawn and quartered in the plaza for all to see.

10. Finally, the need for good friends, who you realise you need now more than ever. Who else will understand when you complain about the ridiculously big campus, appreciate the need to get the perfect picture of a duck (I have learnt Milton is the most photogenic one), and answer your stupid questions?

I am sure I will learn many more things over the rest of my time at this campus (and maybe even something relevant to my degree). Regardless, here’s to the next 3 years. Good luck to all of the first years out there!

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Board Game Baptism Shuffling Forever: Deckbuilding Card Games ‘When demonstrating your intellectual and strategic superiority through solitary victory isn’t as appealing as it should be, take the hands of your compatriots, put aside past grudges and focus on the greater objective: the victory of the team.’

Patrick O’Loughlin

Let’s get back to basics. In 2007, a game came along that changed how countless future games were designed. It introduced a simple yet clever mechanic that caused rapture amongst the board gaming community, ensuring it a place in the board game mechanic pantheon.

That game is Dominion, and that mechanic is deckbuilding.

For the uninitiated, deckbuilding games have players begin a game with a small, relatively useless hand of cards and a draw pile of similarly useless cards. Players gradually obtain new cards, typically through buying them with monetary cards, and place them directly in their discard pile. After several turns, once their draw pile has been depleted, the discard pile is shuffled again to create a new draw pile.

Except now, there are fancy, less-likelyto-be-terrible cards available to be drawn.

This continues until the draw pile is full of awesome cards, some of which may allow for the terrible start-game cards to be discarded forever, hurrah!

This description constitutes a typical turn in Dominion; players are able to first buy from a number different cards that positively alter the way they can play, and then perform an action with a card in their hand. The eventual goal is to purchase victory point cards, but it’s a fine line, as these victory point cards are functionally useless aside from offering endgame

points. By joining superior cards in a deck too early, a player can potentially have a hand comprised only of victory point cards, resulting in a wasted turn. This balancing act is typical to most deckbuilding games, but Dominion revels in its simplicity, and games play so quickly that you can play multiple games in a session if you so desire.

pile. After the discard is shuffled, the chestburster is somewhere in their draw pile, mirroring the uncertainty of incubation length in the films. When the chestburster is drawn, characters die (unless a variant is played that allows for this player to become an alien and kill all of its former friends).

Because Dominion is a game designed around deckbuilding, it means that modification and adaptability is simple. A few clever rules can transform a game like Dominion into something a bit more special.

This article has covered larger deckbuilding games, with their big boxes full of cards, but it’s useful to see how deckbuilding can be distilled into a more compact form, and still be more mechanically complex than Dominion.

Legendary Encounters: An Alien Deck Building Game is, lo and behold, a co-operative deck building game thematically tied to the Alien franchise that requires players to deck-build through one of the four films of the franchise. Setup of the Legendary Encounters cards allows for the game to reveal one of three story cards at certain intervals; the rest of the cards featuring dozens of aliens the players must fight. Two thirds of the way through a game using the Aliens story deck, players will have to fight the Alien queen, whether the combat zone is full of acid spitting aliens or not.

Star Realms and its sister game Hero Realms are such games. Each game is contained in a small cardboard box, roughly double the size of a deck of cards, containing approximately 130 cards depending on the version. With this limited number of cards, these game allow two opposing players to recruit units from four factions to fight for them and build bases to defend against their opponents attacks using deckbuilding as a mechanical backbone. Each faction has unique statistics, allowing for unique interactions to be created each game; it’s impressive in a game this size.

By far the most interesting (and cool) deckbuilding element in Legendary Encounters occurs as a result of being attacked by a facehugger, one of the defining monstrosities of the Alien franchise. After being attacked by a facehugger, a player must place a chestburster in their discard

Deckbuilding doesn’t stop with the examples I’ve given. Arctic Scavengers, Trains and the recently released Clank all use the mechanic very well in different ways. Do yourself a favour and check them out!

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Five-Star Movie Recommendations Apocalypse Now (1979) Words and Artwork by Rhianna Carr

Apocalypse Now (1979) is a heavy, emotional experience. The primary theme of the film, the Vietnam War (aka the Second Indochina War), is very emotional and horrific in itself and Francis Coppola (Apocalypse Now director and producer) certainly conveyed that. To watch Apocalypse Now is to sit in on someone else’s nightmare and watch as it unfolds. The making of the film was also a nightmare for Coppola and his crew. The film received a lot of press surrounding its lengthy and troubled production, but the issues that occurred behind the scenes did not affect the quality of the film and arguably added to the necessary intensity of the film.

Numerous factors impacted the flow of production: the hostile Philippine terrain where the film was shot, personal issues experienced by the actors, and the financial burden Coppola placed on himself by investing a great sum of his own money (approximately $30 million) to finance the film. During production, the crew experienced: a typhoon that destroyed largescale sets; the lead actor Martin Sheen had a heart attack; the helicopters they had loaned were constantly recalled by President Marcos to fight his own war against anti-government rebels; and overenthusiastic prop-workers decided to use real dead bodies rather than dummies, which was only realised after a pungent odour became too strong to ignore. Apocalypse Now should be followed by watching the documentary made about its troubled production: Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker’s Apocalypse (1991). The title of the documentary comes from Joseph Conrad’s novella on which the film is loosely based, Heart of Darkness (1899) The opening sequence of Apocalypse Now features The Doors’ song The End (trivia: Coppola went to UCLA with all the members of The Doors), Coppola thought it would be humorous – but still fitting – to play a song with such a title in the opening sequence.

The lead protagonist, Captain Benjamin L. Willard (Martin Sheen), is requested to accept a mission while in Saigon – now known as Ho Chi Minh City – Vietnam on ‘R&R’ (‘rest and recuperation’). The mission is the termination of a Green Berets colonel, Colonel Walter E. Kurtz (Marlon Brando), who has gone insane and is commanding his own army of ‘Montagnard’ troops – aka ‘Degar’, the Indigenous peoples of the Central Highlands of Vietnam – inside neutral Cambodia, as a demi-god. Willard accepts the mission and joins a Navy ‘PBR’ (patrol boat, river) commanded by ‘Chief,’ along with three other soldiers on board: Lance, a pro-surfer from California; ‘Chef,’ a cook; and ‘(Mr.) Clean,’ named for his ‘purity’ for being so young. They rendezvous with Lieutenant Colonel Bill Kilgore (Robert Duvall), 1st Cavalry Commander, who is set to escort them to the mouth of the ‘Nung River’ – the ‘Nung River’ from the film is fictional, but it does represent the real Mekong River. Once there, they separate from Kilgore and his cavalry. The PBR follows the river to Willard’s final destination, but not before making a few stops along the way. The flow of the story is reminiscent of the journey of Alice from Alice in Wonderland (by Lewis Carroll); they meet different and unique characters – soldiers, and entertainers from ‘Performing for the Troops’ including ‘Playboy Bunnies’ – and they make stops at the few army stations, each one different and run by their own set of rules, dotted along the river.

There is a constant haze about Willard and the other soldiers, mentally and physically. The physical haze comes from the natural mist of the Philippine landscape and from the war props including ‘gas bombs’ and ‘coloured smoke flares.’ Coppola is successful in conveying the psychological harm prominent with soldiers and the horrifying reality of war. ‘My movie is not about Vietnam … my movie is Vietnam,’ said by Coppola at the Cannes Film Festival 1979.

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Rhianna Carr ART on Facebook.

‘We train young men to drop fire on people, but their commanders won’t allow them to write “fuck” on their airplanes because it’s obscene.’ - Kurtz.

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Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki & His Years of Pilgrimage

by Haruki Murakami Kayla Gaskell

Last November, shortly after submitting my final assignments, I found myself packing for a somewhat surreal trip to Japan. Among the books I chose to take was the only Murakami book I owned — one that I’d been trying to find time to read for months. I began to read the novel about midway through the trip, finishing it just after my friend and I transferred to the subway line at the sprawling mess that is Shinjuku station (a place that features in the book).

The story focuses on Tsukuru, who is generally unhappy with his life. He traces his unhappiness back to the derailing of his friendship group in high school. His friends meant the world to him then, and their abandonment caused him to have trouble moving forward with his life. Each of them had a colour in their name; red, blue, black, and white, while Tsukuru remained colourless.

He is stuck in an endless cycle of questions — some of which he is afraid to ask. He is thirtysix years old and still stuck on his past when he meets Sara.

Sara encourages him to face up to his past and uncover the truth behind his ejection from the “harmonious, orderly

community” of his youth. Eager to please and not wanting to lose her, Tsukuru embarks on a search for answers in which he comes face to face with many things he does not understand, and does not want to.

One thing I loved about this book was the utter concision of language. The entire book just seemed to flow and was constantly reflecting on its central themes and motifs the entire way through. From start to finish the reader knows that railway stations are important and that the main character, Tsukuru, has a mind for making things.

I was really glad to read a book where the central conflict was the long-ago abandonment of the central character by his friends. It’s a problem many people face at some point in their lives and often the subject is avoided. I found I was quickly able to relate to Tsukuru. All he wanted was the answers — even many years after the event. Throughout the novel Tsukuru learns to view his abandonment in a different way. He comes to terms with what happened and he realises that his friends abandoned him because they had to and they

believed that he would be okay.

There are so many allusions and confusions in this novel.

I can’t tell you whether this is a good or a bad place to start with Murakami’s work, but is definitely an engrossing one. I am looking forward to finding time, in the future, to read

more of his work be it in the literary café in Shibuya that I fell in love with, or even just here in Australia. Now I’ve got a bit of practical knowledge about Japan it makes reading Japanese writers more exciting than ever.

fe atu re / g am i ng

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The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

A mini review of a massive game

Cameron Lowe and Skyward Sword. Topping these two factors though is the breathtaking size of the game world. This is by far one of the largest game worlds I’ve ever encountered, and for the first time in the series is true open world, rather than being broken up into different areas.

I’m reviewing the Wii U version of this game and I can certainly say that this is the greatest game on the system.

It runs at 30 frames per second (fps) at 720p very smoothly, which for a Wii U title is amazing. This game is compatible with both the Gamepad and the Pro Controller, which is fantastic as well. Personally, I’ve preferred the Pro Controller so far as it’s a lot more comfortable for longer gaming sessions, but the Gamepad still does the job.

“There’s only been a few games where I’ve ever said wow in the first ten minutes. I’m proud to say that Breath of the Wild is one of them.”

After what feels like a century of waiting: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild is finally here. I can’t begin to describe how much I’ve been wanting to play this game.

From what I’ve played so far, I’m happy to say that it’s exceeded my expectations. I’ll keep this review short as I’m only a few hours into the game as I’m writing this, and eager to go back to play more.

The game begins with the hero, Link, awakening from a 100-year hibernation.

Upon awakening and exiting the shrine, Link finds himself in the green covered Hyrule. Whilst looking out over the cliff, Link spots a lone person walking by the ruins of the Temple of Time. It’s here that Link starts his quest to once again save Hyrule from evil.

There’s only been a few games where I’ve ever said ‘Wow’ in the first ten minutes.

I’m proud to say that Breath of the Wild is one of them. The sweeping lands of Hyrule are bright, colourful, and full of life. The cel shaded art style is gorgeous and very reminiscent of both Wind Waker

I’ve played the Switch version too, but only very briefly and I don’t own a copy of it (yet). I can however say that it’s just as epically awesome on the Switch too.

This version runs at 900p on TV and 720p in handheld mode, at 30fps. The Joy-Cons play well in all their positions, but for those who want to play it for long sessions, either use the Joy-Con grip, or get a Switch Pro Controller.

Although I’m not far into Breath of the Wild, I can certainly say right now that it’s the greatest Zelda game since Twilight Princess. This game has so far exceeded my expectations and has set a new standard in open world games.

Nintendo has done a brilliant job and I can’t wait to sink many more hours into it.

Rating: 5/5 Heart Containers

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Zaregoto first impressions

and some other neato anime you should check out Words and Art by Emma Hough Hobbs It’s that awkward time of year when the current anime season hasn’t ended and I’ve run out of opinions from the autumn 2016 season. Welcome to bite sized recommendations from this season and beyond.

Zaregoto – Kubikiri cycle: Aoiro Savant to Zaregototsukai is a snail-pacereleasing mystery anime. Adapted from fan favourite author Nishioishin’s light novel Zaregoto, the story follows our protagonist “I” who has been invited to visit a luxurious island mansion with a bunch of geniuses, each with their own talent. Not as one of them, but as an aid to his friend Kunagisa, a talented computer engineer.

Personalities clash and it’s not long before things get dead serious on the island. Produced by studio Shaft (who have my life long allegiance) the animation is daring, intricate and full of experimentation, but not without it’s flaws.

One episode a month is the current release schedule, which is painful, however, each installation is well worth the wait. Currently there are 4 out of the planned 8 episodes released.

This show is a definite recommendation from me. That being said, good ole

Nishioihsin really displays his love for monologues and seemingly endless conversations, so it’s not for the easily bored.

Each character is imbued with their own colourful personalities and complications; the conflicts between residents on the island really make them believable and real.

Kobayashi-san chi no maid dragon This is a charming Slice of Life about a lesbian dragon, Tohru, who falls in love with an overworked office worker Kobayashi. For reasons unknown to us mere humans, Tohru decides to become her maid. It’s just lovely.

I can’t really explain why the author decided on it being about a maid dragon, but the less you think about it the better.

Just let yourself get absorbed by the adorable daily life of Tohru, and her dragon friends as they try to navigate the human world, doing their best to fit in.

Honestly, I only started this show because I’m a big fan of Kyoto animation and have watched worse from them (Musaigen no phantom world) but have wholeheartedly accepted this imaginative, quirky and masterfully animated show. It’s probably in the top 3 shows this season when

it comes to animation quality and is certainly the most wholesome.

Demi-chan wa kataritai When it comes to comedies I have high standards, especially when it comes to anime. Supposed comedy classics and contemporary hits like Azumanga daioh, School Rumble and Sakamoto desu ga have yet to put even a smile on my face. So I was very surprised when week after week Demi-chan wa kataritai has managed to have me legitimately laughing out loud and giggling the whole way through.

I wasn’t expecting anything from this show and was only drawn to it because it has a teenage dullahan in the cast. It’s been a real pleasant surprise though.

Anyway, it’s about Takahashi, a biology teacher who has a particular interest in demi-humans.

Thanks to his amazing luck it turns out a vampire, dullahan, snow woman and succubus all attend/teach at his school.

It ends up being a mildly uncomfortable teacher-student fluff harem, which is kind of concerning. Most elements of the show are genuinely entertaining nonetheless.

For more of Emma’s art, go to: pegmodeart.weebly.com

HOW TO

9 MAY 11:30AM-2:30PM HUB GROUND FLOOR tax - income support - rights at work - budgeting - real estate employment - health insurance super - health & welbeing