Funeral Times issue 3 2020

The magazine for Funeral Directors in Ireland

2020 Vol.20 No.3

Non-religious funerals in Northern Ireland Meaningful and bespoke funerals Humanist funerals are non-religious ceremonies that focus on the person ö©Ë © Þ ¬ ɇ æ© ½¬£ æ© ü ½ ɇ Ä the relationships they forged. They are based on the humanist perspective that every life is valuable and unique.

Each ceremony is suited to the person ö©Ë © Þ ¬ Ä æ© £ ½¬Ä¤Þ Ë£ æ© × Ë×½ ö©Ë ½Ëõ æ© ÃɌ s Ä © ½× Ú Ã Ã Ú æ© × ÚÞËÄ ö©Ë © Þ ö¬æ© Ä ê× æ ½ Ú æ¬ËÄ Ë£ ½¬£ ɇ ö©¬½Þæ others may take a more solemn tone.

A humanist funeral is the perfect option £ËÚ £ 콬 Þ Ä £Ú¬ Ä Þ ö©Ë ö Äæ Þ¬Ä Ú ɇ × ÚÞËÄ ½ Ú ĉ æ¬ËÄ ËÄ æ© ½¬£ Ë£ æ© ¬Ú ½Ëõ ËÄ Þ ɫ ö¬æ©Ëêæ Ú ½¬¤¬ËÄɌ c©¬Þ can be especially important if the person ö©Ë ¬ ö Þ ÄËæ Ú ½¬¤¬ËêÞɌ

A funeral can include time for silent Ú ĉ æ¬ËÄ ËÄ æ© ½¬£ Ë£ æ© Þ Ɍ This time is inclusive of people from all º¤ÚËêÄ Þ Ä × Ë×½ ö¬æ© Ú ½¬¤¬ËêÞ beliefs can take this opportunity to say Þ¬½ Äæ ×Ú ü Úɇ ¬£ æ© ü ö¬Þ©Ɍ

Find your local celebrant Our funeral ceremonies are conducted by humanist celebrants. Contact your ½ Ú Äæ æË ü æË ĈÄ Ëêæ ÃËÚ Ëêæ Þ ü¬Ä¤ ¬¤Ä¬Ĉ Ä × ÚÞËÄ ½ £ Ú ö ½½Ɍ BALLYCASTLE John Foley 07949 114455

BELFAST Richard Lavery 07802 839543

BELFAST MaryLou McShane 07962 906236

NEWTOWNABBEY ]æ ö Úæ +˽ Ä 07971 634098

BALLYMENA Lisa Wilkinson 07759 514139

BELFAST Maire De Buitlear 07841 860276

DERRY Julie Hassell 07510 851612

NORTH DOWN Trevor Molloy 07549 946622

BANBRIDGE Joan Davis 07546 954222

BELFAST Cathy Graham 07595 927494

DUNMURRY Janni Knox 07890 861690

HUMANISTS UK info@humanists.uk 020 7324 3060

BANGOR Michael McAlinden 07305 892201

BELFAST Rachel Smith 07957 474643

LISBURN Sheena Bradley 07732 143183

humanists.uk/ ceremonies

Humanist Ceremonies™ is part of Humanists UK, a registered charity in England and Wales (no. 285987) and company limited by guarantee (no. 228781).

The magazine for Funeral Directors in Ireland

New Funeral Home for Cobh page 4

Quinn’s island connection page 10

Contents

New Funeral Home for Cobh..........................................................................................................4 Damian Flynn gets Creative ............................................................................................................8 Quinn’s make an island connection .......................................................................................... 10 Careers in funeral directing for women ...................................................................................14 IAFD News . ........................................................................................................................................... 18 Grey’s Templemore find a new dawn ...................................................................................... 20 NAFD News........................................................................................................................................... 30

Wards on the roads of Monaghan page 62

EDITORIAL AND ADVERTISING CONTACTS: Graham Brown, Ruth McQuillan, Vikki Crangle, Paula Hanna Tel: (028) 3835 5060 (048) from ROI

SAIF News ............................................................................................................................................38 Matt Black on the importance of caring for hands.............................................................42 Sue Anne O’Donnell finds a way to be here for those grieving................................... 46 Dr Bill Webster - Leaving the panic out of pandemic.......................................................57 Do you remember the Opel Rekord estate?..........................................................................59 Wards take to the roads of Monaghan.....................................................................................62 BIE News................................................................................................................................................. 64 Mattie Lennon on a forgotten lunch-box and preparing for the worst................... 66 Jennifer Muldowney looks at the New York Times’ tribute to the lost................... 68

Funeral Times is owned and published by: InHouse Publications, 1 Annagh Drive, Craigavon, Co. Armagh BT63 5WF E: sales@funeraltimes.com

Classifieds...............................................................................................................................................74 Disclaimer: Readers are urged to support the magazine’s advertisers, but the publishers cannot be held responsible for any claims made or implied in the advertisements. The publishers reserve the right to refuse advertising. Opinions expressed in this magazine by contributing writers and advertisers are not necessarily those of the publishers. Every effort is made to ensure the accuracy of information contributed for inclusion in this magazine but no legal responsibility will be accepted by the publishers for loss arising from the use of published articles. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior consent. Articles and photographs for inclusion are welcomed but the publishers cannot accept responsibility for their loss or damage however caused.

FuneralTimes | 3

New funeral home for Cobh

James Cahill of Cahill Funeral Directors Cobh Co. Cork opened Cobh’s first funeral home in December 2018 surrounded by family & friends. James grandfather Jim Collins started funeral directing in 1979 and in 2006 James took over the family business.

James together with his wife

Yvonne and their children James, Robyn and Aaron are very proud of the new asset to their business and are shown on the opening night with Jim’s wife Eileen cutting the ribbon to officially open their new funeral home.

Cahill’s funeral home has been a labour of love for James and his family

throughout the planning process and all works carried out on the premises were done by local crafts people keeping the emphasis of community always to the fore front of his business.

The funeral home has a real feeling of home as you enter with the bright furnishings and comfortable couches ensuring

Spacious lobby where mourners can meet as they wait to pay their respects 4 | FuneralTimes

loved one’s comfort and care in their hour of need.

James has made great use of the space in Newtown Road, with two reposing rooms available if needed, a bright family room for families to arrange their loved ones final journey and a large and spacious lobby where mourners can meet and watch photos of their loved one on the LG television as they wait to pay their respects.

Our extensive coffin showroom has several types of coffins and caskets with various floral tributes, urns and jewellery for ashes on display.

With almost 30 years’ experience and a true understanding of the difficulties faced by bereaved families, James and his professional team are always on-hand to help in any way they can. You can find them at: www. jamescahillfuneraldirectors. com

Jim’s wife Eileen officially opened their new funeral home FuneralTimes | 5

Information on the availabi FOUNDED IN 1828

GLASNEVIN TRUST

We understand the passing of a loved one is a very difficult time for families with many decisions to be made.

Our team of professional and compassionate staff will help you with care and sensitivity through this challenging personal journey of deciding on the final resting place for your loved one.

DARDISTOWN GLASNEVIN GOLDENBRIDGE NEWLANDS CROSS PALMERSTOWN

Glasnevin Trust is a not for profit organisation and a registered charity CHY 5849

278

Old Finglas Section

There are a wide range of graves available in the older conservations areas of the Garden, South and Dublin Sections and also in the newer landscaped sections of St. Mobhi’s and Old Finglas, as well as St.Patricks and St. Pauls Sections.

For More information contact our Funeral Services office to arrange an appointment where we can show you the options available best suited to your individual needs.

Old Finglas Section

St Mobhi’s Section

St Mobhi’s Section

St Patrick’s Js Section

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139 97

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St Paul’s Section

St Paul’s Section

St Pat (Js Se

ility and selection of graves

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trick’s ection)

Glasnevin Cemetery, Finglas Road, Dublin 11. P:01-8826500 E:info@glasnevintrust.ie www.glasnevintrust.ie Grave selection services are also available at our other cemeteries – Dardistown Cemetery 01-8424677 Goldenbridge Cemetery 01-8826500 Newlands Cross Cemetery 01-4592288 Palmerstown Cemetery 01-4592288 A

Garden Section

QC

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Dublin Section

Garden Section 56

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South Section

Garden Section

Dublin Section

South Section

Time to get Creative during challenging times

When Covid 19 struck in March businesses across Ireland were thrown into a state of shock. Funeral directors knew they were an essential industry, and while they had many problems to face, there was at least the certainty that they would always remain open.

For suppliers however, things were a lot less certain. Those who also supply industries outside the funeral business saw orders stop, often in the middle of production. Staff weren’t sure whether they ought to come to work and public transport became very difficult.

Damian Flynn of Creative Binding Solutions was in just such a quandary. And he quickly decided that the only solution was to get creative. Damian knew that funeral directors and 8 | FuneralTimes

other customers depended upon him and yet there wasn’t sufficient work to justify staying open full time. It was also increasingly difficult to source materials from his suppliers.

‘Those first few weeks we came into the office every morning and waited to hear what the next problem would be’, says Damian, ‘But one day

I just decided that we would have to make changes which allowed us to stay in business to fulfill the orders which were still coming in while creating a safe environment and protecting the business for the long term.’

Damian shortened the working hours to cope with the changing level of business and did everything required to follow

the current Covid guidelines coming from government.

‘I found that, as I spoke to both suppliers and customers, there was a great recognition that we were all in the same boat and had to work together to make things happen. I know I’m not the only business who feels grateful to staff, customers and suppliers for their continued support. None of us know what the future will hold but I

The internet was playing a much bigger part in funerals, and this is likely to remain the case

suspect that we have all found out who we can rely on when the going gets tough and I hope we don’t forget those who stood by us.’

With smaller funerals, Damian quickly noticed less demand for books and donation boxes.

It was clearly time for some creative thinking.

First, recognize that the internet was playing a much bigger part in funerals, and this is likely to remain the case. As such Creative Binding Solutions unveiled a new condolence binder which consisted of a ring binder with interscrews ideal for printing online condolences, and they identified a source of drilled paper to supply with the binders. They also supply Relative and Friend sheets

which can be added after a memorial service which may be held in the future.

Damian also ensured that his website remained regularly updated throughout the lockdown period and used this to promote new products such as generic 8gb usb sticks which are ideal for capturing web masses and services and distributing among family and friends. The existing product range was important too, and Damian added new colours to his non woven casket bag range and also sourced dark green, grey and black 31 inch umbrellas.

Contact Damian for more information and pricing damian.creativebinder@ gmail.com

FuneralTimes | 9

Quinn’s make an island connection The year is 1999. A new millennium is rising to the fore like the morning sun over Montego Bay. A time of the dot com boom, Y2K and Destiny’s Child. It’s a time where the possibilities of ever-increasing globalisation and ever decreasing limits are gripping the world over. It’s still a surprise however, when the phone rings...

A

n unmistakable accent greets Fearghas Quinn, and it isn’t a Ballymena one.

He introduces himself as Dale Delapenha. He says he is on a family holiday in the south of Ireland and came across a traditional Irish funeral. Dale’s jaw dropped when he saw the hearse. He just had to find out where he could buy one. And so he asked the undertaker, who gave him this number.

Fearghas offers to give him a site visit. “Come up and see the factory, see what we do and we can get a chat in 10 | FuneralTimes

person”. Two days later, Dale does just that. The whole family is welcomed into the Portglenone factory to see the build process of the Mercedes hearses on offer in 1999. The group talk figures. They agree.

And work is scheduled to begin.

In mid 2000, the S Class 3 Door leaves Belfast harbour, Kingston-bound. Like the ship, there was a sense of adventure with the Quinns as they embarked on a new chapter in the business. A connection between the Northern Ireland

funeral sector and Jamaica seemed like the unlikeliest of links, and yet it was so. When the vehicle arrived safely and was immediately put to work, the momentousness of the occasion sank in. And not just in Portglenone. Soon, newspapers got in touch.

There was an interview scheduled for UTV News. A local company making this kind of connection was quite novel, and gained interest as a feel-good story. A microcosm of the possibilities a new millennium could bring. With

the further integration of Ireland into the EU scheduled, this represented something that we could hope to see more of.

Later that year, Dale was on the phone again. The former Governor General of Jamaica, Florizel Glasspole had passed away, and Delapenha Funeral Home had the honour of being used for the state burial.

People lined the streets in Kingston to pay their last respects to a man who had been at the forefront of nothing less than a social and economic revolution in Jamaica. The Irish hearse, with its glass sides displaying the casket to the crowds of mourners, became a centrepiece for the ceremony.

That continues even today, the same S Class is used for funerals, looking as good as ever. A timeless reminder of an incredibly unlikely link.

It’s 2019, twenty years on from the chance meeting between Dale and Fearghas.

The world has changed.

There is a lot more economic uncertainty. The Celtic Tiger has been and gone, Brexit has reshaped the landscape, and one of the biggest pandemics

Governor General of Jamaica, Florizel Glasspole’s funeral to ever hit the world is just around the corner. The phone rings. Fearghas’ daughter Deborah answers. She doesn’t recognise the voice at first, but the accent is unmistakable, “Hello, its Dale”.

Soon, an ambitious project is set out. Quinn’s will build their first hearse based on a Mercedes V Class. This isn’t going to be an Irish hearse exported. This will be a Jamaican hearse. This vehicle will be big and bold with the Causeway deck front and centre. With the flag poles on the wings as standard in the Caribbean, with Landau

The bold Causeway deck is front and centre.

bars on the sides and strobe lights on the front. This hearse will have identity. It will have soul. It will be centre stage at every funeral celebration. Just a few months later, its ready.

Again it’s waved off at Belfast Harbour to cross the Atlantic.

20 years apart but some things never change.

Six weeks go by, and a phone call once more from an international number, “I love it!”

Delapenha Funeral Home is a family ran business, much like Quinn’s, and have been serving the people of Montego Bay for more than 35 years. Their passion for their work, and ability to relate to people of all backgrounds means that it was no surprise that the business relationship took off. And it continues, as Dale is in continual contact about upgrading their fleet as their business continues to grow.

And as they have been for the past 20 years, Quinn Hearse and Limousine are happy to oblige.

FuneralTimes | 11

Tierney Street Ardee Co Louth Ireland t: roi: +353 (0) 41 685 3603 - t: uk & ni: +44 (0) 870 241 0652 f: +353 (0) 41 685 6353 - e: info@finlaygrp.com - w: www.finlaygrp.com

W

orking with Finlay over the last 37 years I’ve seen a huge amount of changes in the Funeral Profession. As I have also worked in the Funeral Directing side of our business, I have a clear understanding of what Funeral Professionals needs are. Going back over those 37 years I have seen the Funeral Profession evolve into a world class service which everyone should be justifiably proud of.

When I joined Finlay our Coffin range had no more than twenty different Models but we have always tried to innovate and move forward and our range now includes over one hundred and twenty different Coffin Models. We as a company aspire to be a partner to our customers, to listen and to find out how we can help you and how we add value to your business.

Originally I am from Donegal and we now live in Ardee. I am married to Loretta and we have a daughter, Denise and a son, Daniel and we are about to start a next generation with two grandchildren on the way this year. I have a great love of sports, especially football and golf. I also have a great love of music and played different instruments in different bands.

What I enjoy most of all is meeting people. I have been very fortunate through my work in Customer Care with Finlay to meet and get to know so many people, many of whom have become good friends

Dermot Sharpe Customer Care Mobile: 086 2584608 Email: dermot.sharpe@finlaygrp.com

Excellence in Funeral Products and Services Registered Irl: 129795 12 | FuneralTimes

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Funeral profession provides Directing funerals was traditionally a very male profession. Yet, historically, women have played an important role in caring for and preparation of the deceased and they are certainly no strangers to caring roles.

In recent years, as more women have been encouraged to enter the profession, they have changed the face of funerals. Meet some of the women who have risen to the challenge with Funeral Partners, which operates 18 funeral homes in Northern Ireland, and hear why they love their roles and the opportunities for career progression in the business and in the profession.

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mma-Jayne McClure joined the funeral profession ten months ago and was blown away by the passion and professionalism she found within the teams.

Joining the Funeral Partners Northern Ireland management team from a completely different background, she said: “It’s hard to put into words what a special profession this is and the fantastic teams we have make me speechless.

“I was amazed by the passion that is demonstrated every day and how professional and caring our teams are. I am extremely proud of all the teams working together every day and supporting each other so they can make someone’s last journey special. I feel truly honoured to be able to support our teams, families and their loved Emma-Jayne McClure ones.”

14 | FuneralTimes

Sarah Cairns Johnstone

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uneral Director Sarah Cairns Johnstone joined the profession in 2017 as a Funeral Arranger, working across James Brown and Sons funeral homes carrying out office responsibilities and looking after funeral arrangements.

She said: “I quickly realised I wanted to be more involved in the funerals I was arranging and, after several months, I took on the role of Funeral Service Operative. This helped me gain a better understanding of the funeral process, which led me to apply for the Funeral Director position in 2018.

“In this role I meet families and look after arrangements from the beginning and right through to the day of the funeral. To be a familiar face and give them the support and reassurance where possible is very important, and what I enjoy most.

“I find the job most rewarding when a family feel they can trust me to look after their loved one, and I am able to give them a sense of relief that they and their family member are in safe hands.”

a great career for women E

mma Moore was drawn to the funeral profession ten years ago after her grandfather passed away and she saw firsthand the amazing work undertaken on a daily basis.

Emma explained: “I started at Mulhollands of Carrickfergus as a Funeral Arranger for seven years. For the last three years, I have Emma Moore had the privilege of leading our teams in various management roles, progressing to branch development manager. “Job satisfaction for me comes from being able to support my teams to deliver the best funeral to our families and take the strain from them in their time of need, just as they did for my family ten years ago.”

K

ylie Gourley, too, joined the funeral profession following the passing of her grandfather. She explained: “The team at James Brown & Sons looked after my family and held our hand every step of the way.” Joining in 2016 as a fleeting coordinator, she has worked her way up to a senior position as Operations Manager for Northern Ireland. “I have been honoured to lead our teams in all aspects of the funeral profession, while supporting our local communities,” Kylie said. “I feel extremely privileged to be able help support our families and look after their loved ones during very difficult times. It’s a Kylie Gourley true vocation.”

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icola McKee has worked as a Funeral Service Operative for threeand-a-half years.

She said: “I am really proud to be a woman in a male-dominated profession. I’m passionate about all aspects of my job and get great support from all my colleagues.”

Claire Billington HR Nicola McKee Director at Funeral Partners said: “We are always looking for highcalibre individuals, men and women, who are passionate about helping others and who have a natural empathy to join our professional teams.

We invest significantly in training and encourage continuous learning to allow our teams the opportunity for growth and to get qualifications.

This helps us to promote from within and develop the senior managers of the future.”

If you are interested in a career in Funeral Partners look out for vacancies listed on any of our websites or email HR@funeralpartners.co.uk Funeral Partners Northern Ireland is an equal opportunity employer and welcomes applications from all sections of the community. funeralpartnersnorthernireland.com

Funeral Partners is interested in further expansion in Northern Ireland and would be happy to have an informal and confidential chat with any Funeral Directors who are considering selling their businesses. Contact Chief Executive Officer Sam Kershaw, directly on 07834 531822 or email: sam.kershaw@ funeralpartners.co.uk or Acquisition & Mergers Director Steve Wilkinson on 07528 970 531 or email: steve.wilkinson@ funeralpartners.co.uk FuneralTimes | 15

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IAFD News Education Programme A

s you are aware, due to the pandemic we have had to review how we could deliver the Education Programme. We are delighted to announce that our Education Programme, the FDCA (Funeral Directing Certificate Award) will be commencing in late September 2020.

Given the times we find ourselves in, we have decided to conduct the majority of the course online.

Most tutorials will be held on Zoom, an App which can be downloaded for free.

This will be hugely beneficial as, rather than taking an entire day every month to travel to our selected venue, candidates can avail of more frequent, shorter tutorials which can be held at times that, we believe, will better suit members of the funeral services.

Those who have successfully completed this award have greatly benefitted from the skills & knowledge gained, as well as the comradery of forming new friendships within our sector. Numbers are limited so if you are interested in achieving the FDCA, please contact us at enquiries@iafd.ie.

Excellence Programme Two

D

ue to COVID19 all Excellence Programme visits to Members had to be suspended. Despite this and thanks to assistance from a number of former Board members we hope to be able to complete up to 40 Excellence Programme visits during the remainder of 2020. We are very much looking forward to reconnecting with our Members in person.

IAFD Website D

uring the Covid19 pandemic we had to hold the development of the new IAFD website.

This work has now re commenced and we hope to have the new site operating by the end of 2020. Not only will the website have a new and modern look, its functionality will provide a better member’s only section and a facility to pay membership online. We are looking forward to seeing it in operation.

18 | FuneralTimes

AGM and Dinner Dance 2020 O

ur annual AGM and Dinner Dance is scheduled for Saturday November 21st, 2020 in Clontarf Castle. However, due to uncertain times we are unsure at this moment how this might all look. The Board will continue to review the situation relating to Covid-19 over the next couple of months before making decisions of how the AGM and Dinner Dance might look. Hopefully, we can proceed as normally as possible but contingency plans are in place to allow us to host AGM by Zoom if required.

IAFD Contacts Robert Fanagan (President) Fanagans Willbrook Street, Rathfarnham, Dublin 14 Ph: 01 4931000 Email: robert@fanagans.ie

Mary Cunniffe (PRO) Massey Bros Funeral Home Templeogue Village Dublin 6W Mobile: 085 8010742 Ph: 01 4907601 Email: mary.cunniffe@hotmail.com

Donal Forde (First Vice President) Forde & Sons Funeral Home South Gate Bridge Cork Co. Cork Ph: 021 4318222 Email: fordes@indigo.ie

Fintan Cooney (Membership Officer) Fanagans 54 Aungier Street Dublin 2 Ph: 01 4167700 Email: fintanjen@gmail.com

Edwina Fitzgerald (Immediate Past President) Fitzgeralds Funeral Directors Channel Road Rush Co. Dublin Ph: 087 3512949 Email: edwinafitzgerald78@gmail.com Dara Gillespie (Hon. Secretary) Finlays Funeral Service Tierney Street Ardee Co. Louth Mobile: 086 7923472 Email: dara.gillespie@finlaygrp.com Niall Mulligan (Hon. Treasurer) Heffernan’s Funeral Directors Trim Co. Meath Mobile: 086 8208501 Ph: 046 9438662 Email: heffernansfd@gmail.com

Tom Lawless Lawless Funeral Directors Mucklagh, Tullamore Co. Offaly Ph: 057 9322622 Email: info@tullamorefunerals.ie Dermot McCarthy McCarthy’s Funeral Home Gurrane, Banteer, Cork.

Ph: 029 56044 Email: dermot@mccarthyfuneraldirectors. com Niamh Sweeney John Sweeney and Sons Fairgreen Arklow Co Wicklow Ph: 0402 32333 Email: niamh@johnsweeneyandsons.ie

FuneralTimes | 19

Grey’s funeral home, a new dawn!

Sunset at Grey’s Funeral Home, Templemore

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s the dust settles on another day and we move forward facing another unknown and filled with advice from every corner, even ones we didn’t expect or realise were so knowledgeable or medically qualified, but who still insist on giving their professional opinion on these unforeseen times and what we are to do, how we should act and what we are to expect.

In fairness there is so much information finding its way around and sometimes it can very easily be misheard or taken in a wrong context and it’s so easy to decide what someone else does is wrong, instead of taking stock of our own actions and trying to do what is best to maintain a slightly normal approach and reign some calm and help instead of adding to the confusion.

While most businesses were forced to shut down, we had to try to keep our show on the road, under new conditions and recommendations which

20 | FuneralTimes

were changing daily. The effect of this pandemic will be felt I believe for a long time, the businesses which were shut down will take serious time to recover and make up for loss of income and people’s behaviour has changed and when our habits are changed, sometimes it is very hard to get us to revisit and return to previous ways of life. We once took for granted, we are people of habit and if we get out of certain habits our return may be slow or not at all, we have adjusted to life at home, socialising more closely and in reduced numbers, cooking ourselves and attending religious services on our laptop and phones, something we were reluctant to do, but adjusted to very quickly when we had to.

Our funeral services were seriously effected by not offering our families the usual support of people calling to the funeral home and offering sympathies and telling the stories of the deceased which

the family had not heard, thus filling their hearts with pride, joy and laughter. The large numbers who showed their support by turning up and simply saying “I’m sorry” and shaking hands till it hurt and then turning to the deceased and saying goodbye sometimes with a funny comment or a little prayer or tear all of which was a major contributor to the grieving process, and helped the bereaved and was the subject of many a conversation afterwards, shining a light and helping in a time of great sadness, a glimpse of hope and a reason to carry on. These conversations along with how well the deceased looked, helped enormously and were a tradition we held dear and were very reluctant to let go.

But we were given no choice, so adjust we had to do, internet broadcasting of funerals became a must.

People now standing along the roadside as the cortege moved from funeral home to church, cemetery or crematorium

very quickly became the new normal way of expressing your sympathies, a new world without contact or interaction, but which still moved families and helped so much in their time of need of which they expressed such gratitude and appreciation. We were lucky as some businesses were not given any guidelines or ways of continuing. At least we could provide our services even if in just a slightly different and more cautious manner, we could still serve our customers needs.

I felt proud as I heard of the different ways funeral homes continued to offer their great services and expanded very quickly to provide online services, such as live streaming, web services to communicate funeral times and movements and online condolence

books, all of which helped to provide contact between family and fiends helping to provide the support we are used to in this country in a time of bereavement, different methods, not the same, but the new norm we have now to embrace. Businesses used to catering for families after funerals were hit in a major way, but they too rose to the occasion and provided food and refreshment in small gatherings often in a garden or marquee, thus giving a little taste of that support needed to help bereaved cope with the new reality facing them and a chance to express thanks for the kindness so often showed by neighbours and friends at a sad time.

The cemetery became a focal point, so along with lining the route, people felt safe in this

outdoor environment and often gathered and remained at a distance, but this was still an amazing sight and comfort to bereaved families.

Our clergy had concerns regarding their own health and gatherings in churches, which people were very kind and considerate at all times and respected.

Changed times we live in and we are not out of the woods yet I’m afraid. We still await further news and developments every day and hope that an end is in sight and we can begin to return to what we considered normal.

A respect for tradition, with a regard for change.

These words probably mean more now than ever as we try to embrace change, while respecting tradition.

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All-Electric Hearse

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Based on the acclaimed Tesla Model S2, the German manufactured, zero-emission hearse is now available to purchase in the UK and Ireland.

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Coleman Milne unveils new all-electric ‘Wisper’ premium hearse for the UK The UK’s leading funeral car and limousine manufacturer, Coleman Milne, is excited to announce the introduction of a new electric vehicle to its product range – the Coleman Milne Wisper – a premium specification, allelectric hearse for the UK. The Wisper is the result of a collaboration between two of the luxury vehicle sector’s most prestigious names – Coleman Milne and BINZ International – brought together by the UK-based manufacturing group, Woodall Nicholson. The vehicle is named after a tributary of the River Rhine at Lorch, 24 | FuneralTimes

Germany, the historic home of the original BINZ company founded in 1936.

The Wisper is offered in right-hand-drive UK specification, on both new and used Tesla Model S cars, with a demonstration vehicle due imminently available exclusively through Boltonbased Coleman Milne. Prices, options and finance packages are also available directly through Coleman Milne.

As a reflection of evolving attitudes towards environmental sustainability, the Wisper will have particular appeal to Coleman Milne customers operating in Ultra

Low Emission Zones (ULEZ) and Clean Air Zones (CAZ) across the country – and also for Funeral Directors seeing a greater customer demand for eco-funerals.

The new hearse comes with all the Tesla-derived environmental benefits of zero-emission, full-electric operation, including zero road tax, impressve 220-mile singlecharge range capability (after conversion) and a range of charging options. Customers will also benefit from the Tesla app, allowing users to control and monitor charging parameters via iPhone and Android mobile devices and

providing access to other vehicle functions.

Designed, developed and produced at its state-of-theart facility near Stuttgart, Germany, BINZ International has transformed the Tesla Model S into a premium specification, ultra-high quality, all-electric hearse.

Utilising Tesla’s best-in-class chassis and drivetrain systems, the conversion also leverages BINZ’s pioneering compression composite sandwich construction, forming the vehicle’s monocoque design, adding strength and rigidity to the vehicle body, while at the same time achieving an exceptionally high-quality finish.

Lee Hudson, Managing Director of Coleman Milne, said, “As attitudes among policymakers and the general

public shift towards greater environmental sustainability, it is important that the funeral sector takes stock of its own approach to climate change. The Wisper shows it is possible to deliver efficiency and elegance in harmony with social change. The adoption of Clean Air Zones will drive the funeral market toward electric mobility,” he said, “but, it is Funeral Directors and their customers who are increasingly selecting funeral arrangements with a greater focus on environmental protection. Our new Wisper electric hearse will provide a key component in the growing trend for these eco-funerals.

“Thanks to the Tesla Model S platform,” added Lee Hudson, “the Wisper produces zero emissions, allowing access to ULEZ and

1990

CAZ areas across the UK, and with a single-charge range making it a practical solution for most funeral homes. The outstanding craftsmanship and customer service provided by BINZ and Coleman Milne delivers a product of the very highest quality.”

Funeral Directors and other interested parties are invited to contact Coleman Milne directly to arrange a demonstration and to discuss further details - http://www.colemanmilne.co.uk/teslahearse

2020

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Keeping you safe during uncertain times at Lakelands W

ith the current Covid-19 situation, we understand how difficult it is for families after the loss of a loved one, but here in Lakelands we can hold service for 50 people adhering to social distancing of 2 metres.

Families are asked to wear a mask and use the hand

Memorial Tree at Lakelands Crematorium 28 | FuneralTimes

sanitising station provided in our main hallway as you enter.

At Lakelands crematorium we always like to make the passing of a loved one a very personal and stress-free service. A service where we are happy for a family to ask any questions that they feel they need to know, four simple questions: Who, What, When, Where. We will be happy to answer them for you to make your decisions as simple as possible at this difficult time.

Unfortunately, it is not always easy for family members to make the journey home to be with other family members at this sad time of a loved ones death.

To help family who can’t be here, now with the current Covid-19 travel restrictions, we have installed a web camera which can be live streamed to anywhere in the world via the internet. To keep this private the family will be given a password and only they can see the service.

Keeping with the times we have updated our services and you can now avail of a large screen TV where you can watch a slideshow of your loved one with the use of a memory stick, or play a special family tribute by means of video link when a family member can’t make the journey home for the funeral service.

For more information contact Lakelands on Tel: 049 4362200 e: info@ lakelandscrematorium. ie or visit www. lakelandscrematorium.ie

Our Crematorium, Facilities and Remembrance Garden are available 7 days a week to accommodate Families and Funeral Directors (no weekend surcharge) Memorial Keepsakes

Lakelands Crematorium, Dublin Rd, Cavan, Co. Cavan Tel: 049 4362200 / mob: 086 2458489 email: info@LakelandsCrematorium.ie www.LakelandsCrematorium.ie

NAFD News New career pathway launched for NAFD qualifications and professional education The NAFD’s suite of qualifications are considered the gold standard in the sector but, in a time of rapid change, it is imperative that they evolve to keep pace with the evolution of funeral service, the needs of bereaved people and the expectations of those considering the regulation of the funeral sector.

Following a detailed twelve-month review, the NAFD has launched a bold new framework for its range of qualifications and training courses, which will be available for registration from the end of this year. A new career pathway has been created for funeral professionals, some of which will be delivered online - in recognition of the challenges faced by students in studying while working at the same time.

The pathway begins with a brand new online induction course, a course specifically designed for Funeral Service Operatives and a Certificate of Funeral Arranging and Administration - also delivered online. From here, students will be able to progress to the Diploma in Funeral Directing, which will continue to be delivered by the NAFD tutors - and will benefit from freshly updated content and assessments.

Students already enrolled on the existing Diploma programmes will be able to complete 30 | FuneralTimes

their studies and, during 2021, the NAFD will also be introducing opportunities to amass continuous professional development (CPD) points, following completion of the courses, as well as new bitesize, stand-alone learning opportunities throughout the year.

NAFD Past President Alison Crake, Chair of the Board of Education, said: “The new suite of training and qualifications from the NAFD represents the very best in education for the funeral sector.

“The funeral sector is evolving and, although we could not have predicted current events when we first began the education review process, it was clear that there is a discernible need for training and qualifications that are accessible online.

“The ongoing pandemic, lockdown, social distancing and all that they have entailed has emphasised the need for a fast adaptation of our working lives. The NAFD remains committed to supporting its members by providing training and qualifications that are relevant, fit for purpose and which showcase best practice and the breadth and depth of knowledge required to excel.

Training allows employees to acquire new skills, sharpen existing ones and to be the best they can be for your company and the families you care for.”

Everything you need to grow, improve or start your business As a Dutch company we were pleasantly surprised to be making new contacts from outside the UK, in particular the Chinese and French markets. All in all it was a big success for us. We have already reserved our space for 2021.� - Memorial Trees

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NAFD seeks Government support to prevent future PPE challenges The supply of PPE to all those employees who needed it, from the onset of the pandemic, was one of the key challenges that faced the Government, NHS and private firms alike.

While many NAFD supplier members did all they could to support their customers - and most also were in regular touch with the NAFD providing information and support - accessing PPE was a global challenge, with funeral directors having to go to extreme measures to ensure staff were protected, sometimes paying vastly inflated prices to do so.

The NAFD has presented a summary of the key issues faced by the profession to the Department of Health and Social Care - along with some suggested next steps - to try and prevent a recurrence going forward should there be a second or future pandemic peak.

In the early stages of the pandemic, the issue of PPE - its correct usage and availability - was confusing for many organisations. Government guidance specific to those managing deceased people was not published until more than a month after lockdown started and variances between jurisdictions in England & Wales, Northern Ireland and Scotland led to more PPE than necessary being used up quickly.

There was huge uncertainty about the reliability of the supply chain for NAFD supplier members, although some were able to source new UK-based manufacturers and, during the peak, some funeral firms were told by nonfuneral sector specific PPE suppliers that, even if they had stocks, they would not sell them to the funeral sector.

All of this left 86% of members telling the NAFD that they didn’t have enough PPE to last four weeks.

Although, for many items of PPE, the supply chain eventually began to work again for some products, supply remained an issue throughout the peak. Where supply was able to be sourced, the prices were often significantly higher than would be expected normally, with an influx of opportunistic new players in the market and, in 32 | FuneralTimes

some cases, there were issues with PPE quality and shipping delays too.

While the sector was grateful to the Government for agreeing to the NAFD’s request to be able to access additional PPE through Local Resilience Forums (LRFs) in England and Wales, and the NAFD was also successful in lobbying the Scottish Government to secure an emergency supply route, there were often challenges in how this support manifested itself.

Equally, the three-month VAT holiday on PPE was also welcomed.

Keen to avoid a repeat of many of these issues if there were to be a second peak, in June the NAFD requested that the Government consider: 1. Giving funeral firms first responder status, or strengthening key worker status 2. Supporting the sector in accessing secure and regular supplies 3. Providing quality and price control support to avoid unjustifiable price inflation 4. Financial support for the additional, unrecoverable costs incurred by funeral firms in meeting government guidance.

5. An extension of the VAT exemption – which was subsequently granted on 3 July The NAFD continues to meet weekly with Government and the Deceased Management Advisory Group to resolve these and other issues.

Tens of thousands of people rely on the NAFD for information during COVID-19 Providing clear, timely and accurate information to funeral directors and bereaved people was one of the NAFD’s COVID-19 response team’s six priorities during the first peak of the pandemic outbreak, which dominated the first six months of 2020.

In February, as the World Health Organisation (WHO) warned countries that a major global outbreak was imminent, the NAFD released a Pandemic Planning Guide to help members prepare for what might lie ahead.

Written by Past President Alison Crake, initially as a member benefit, and due to be released slightly later in 2020, in light of the WHO warnings and the experience of other countries the guide was completed as quickly as possible to help enable UK funeral firms to assess how prepared they were for a widespread outbreak in the UK. The guide highlighted industry-specific key guidance from the main statutory bodies and provided a toolkit to help funeral firms assess their own capacity and resilience and identify any gaps. However, as it was (and remains) the only guide of its kind for the profession, and recognising a moral responsibility to make it available as widely as possible, Alison requested that it be made freely available to all UK funeral homes via the NAFD website.

Following publication, it was shared widely on social media and links to the document were published on the Scottish Government website, with a recommendation that it should be read by every funeral director.

Website statistics have revealed that, in the following few weeks, more than 32,000 people accessed the guide. This has continued to grow, with views of the guide having now passed 35,000 and still growing.

In addition, as the UK neared the peak of the pandemic outbreak and the sheer number of calls into the Association grew from funeral directors and bereaved members of the public, the NAFD took the decision to create a COVID-19 website, to help provide a dedicated and easily navigable source of information.

This was updated daily during the peak with information curated by NAFD Past President Jeremy Field, who took the lead during the pandemic on assessing emergent Government and public health guidance and answering a myriad of questions from the media, public, civil servants and fellow funeral directors.

Launched at the beginning of April, the NAFD’s COVID-19 site has, to date, been used by more than 35,000 funeral directors and bereaved people. In a survey of NAFD members, almost 80% of respondents said it became a trusted source of information that they used and valued.

The website is still being visited regularly, particularly the sections for bereaved people, and so will continue to be updated for as long as funerals remain restricted and the country is being affected by COVID-19, before the information is carefully archived. The Pandemic Planning Guide, will also be republished in September, updated with all of the information and lessons learned from the last few months.

FuneralTimes | 33

NFE 2021: New social media campaign highlights benefits of exhibiting Will you be at the largest trade show for the sector?

Friday 11 – Sunday 13 June 2021 -Stoneleigh Park, Warwickshire With less than a year to go to the 2021 National Funeral Exhibition (NFE) and, as the sector looks to the future post-Coronavirus, more than 70% of the floor plan has now been sold for NFE 2021 and the NAFD has launched a new social media campaign to highlight the benefits of exhibiting at the show.

Exhibitor interest remains buoyant and detailed planning for the show is well underway. With site visits to Stoneleigh to plan additional COVID-secure measures in respect of cleanliness and social distancing, we are building these needs into our planning for the show to ensure it will be a safe and enjoyable experience that meets the needs of any Government requirements at the time.

New for 2021 will be the opening of a dedicated education arena, offering a broader range of content than ever before. We are actively looking for expressions of interest from potential speakers - so please do get in touch if there is a subject on which you would like to address the profession.

We are also bringing back our dedicated team of stewards to support and assist exhibitors throughout the show, as many exhibitors found them to be a welcome addition at the 2019 event, helping to make the experience of exhibiting as positive as possible. Visitors and exhibitors will also be able to enjoy a welcome break from the show floor at one of the new expanded catering outlets that will be available across all halls.

NFE 2021 will, once again, offer a range of sponsorship packages that provide a compelling brand proposition for suppliers to the sector and which are individually tailored - no one size fits all. One of our key sponsors next

34 | FuneralTimes

year will be the MazWell Group, which will be providing individual hand sanitisers to all exhibitors and visitors alike, as well as providing sanitising stations around the halls. We would like to thank Craig Caldwell and Matthew Hall for sponsoring NFE 2021 with these items.

Sponsorship opportunities are now available and, if you wish to discuss any packages, please contact Jane Lawrence direct on 07974 143988 or email jane@nafd.org.uk.

Secure your exhibiting space today to ensure you can focus firmly on the future of your business as the funeral sector re-shapes and re-energises itself in its longer-term response to the coronavirus pandemic.

Contact the team today at funeralexhibition@nafd.org.uk or visit nationalfuneralexhibition.co.uk.

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Thinking of selling your business?

You’ll be in safe hands

Over 100 family businesses and growing Be part of our story Selling is one of the biggest decisions that you will ever make for your business. You’ve worked for years to build your business, so we understand there is a lot to consider, let us assure you, you will be in safe hands.

“I feel it’s a very positive step because Funeral Partners share our core values, they understand that the families we work with are the foundation of all funeral businesses.”

Jon Baird, Bairds of Antrim Funeral Directors

Your reputation is our reputation Funeral Partners is interested in further expansion in Northern Ireland and would be happy to have an informal and confidential chat with any Funeral Directors who are considering selling their business.

Contact Chief Executive Officer Sam Kershaw, directly on 07834 531822 or email: sam.kershaw@funeralpartners.co.uk or Acquisition & Mergers Director Steve Wilkinson on 07528 970 531 or email: steve.wilkinson@funeralpartners.co.uk

Saif News Saif News SAIF Business Centre SAIF Events Considering the current COVID-19 SAIF have made changes to the events for 2020 / 2021.

The decision to cancel some of our events has not been taken lightly. This is due to the preparation and administration of these and the potential of a second wave towards the end of the year we understand the impact that this may have on the funeral profession and the safety and health of our staff and members is our number one priority.

Education Day This has been cancelled for 2020, but we are looking to hold specialist webinars by the speakers who would have presented, further details will follow. We are hoping, all being well that this will now be scheduled for the Autumn 2021 at Leicester Tigers in Leicester. Further information will be available next year.

AGM & Banquet Weekend 2021 The Banquet Weekend that was scheduled for March 2021 at the Dalmahoy Hotel & Country Club, Edinburgh has been cancelled and will now be held 17th – 20th March 2022, commencing with a golfing event on the Thursday. However, we are looking to hold the Annual General Meeting that was scheduled on the 20th March 2021 in the second quarter of 2021 and will keep you updated accordingly.

National Funeral Exhibition (NFE) 11th – 13th June 2021 We are pleased to advise that we will be exhibiting at the NFE in June 2021 and welcome 38 | FuneralTimes

current members to visit us for beverages and a catch-up.

Remember...

Member Area of the SAIF Website As a SAIF member, there is wealth of resources available within the member’s area of the website, along with a page dedicated to Covid-19. The page is updated to provide our members advice and guidance in managing changes that effect the profession as the lockdown eases. This is also now a good time to reflect on the last few months and prepare for the next 6 months in the event of a second wave of Covid-19 as well as potential localised lock downs. If you have issues logging in then please contact the SAIF Business Centre by phone or email.

Dementia Friendly Business As a SAIF member once you have undertaken the training please contact the SAIF Business Centre for your action card and badge.

• https://bit.ly/2MbDXDF Click here to access the training • enter SAIF’s unique organisation code SAIF1234 • your postcode and • ≠number of people watching.

Support after Suicide Partnership (SASP)

If you are a SAIF member please contact the SAIF Business Centre for the ‘Help at Hand’ Booklet to ensure your staff are aware.

You can also visit the website www.supportaftersuicide.org.uk

Join the association that’s leading the way.

Representing and promoting the interests of 850 independent funeral directors.

SAIF is at the forefront of tackling the big industry issues that matter to you.

As the united voice of independent funeral directors we have led the way in setting the highest standards of professionalism and conduct within the industry. By joining SAIF you too can demonstrate that you uphold this same commitment.

For over 25 years SAIF has been promoting and protecting the interests and values of independent funeral directors. Supporting our members is at the heart of everything we do, listening, responding and engaging to secure your independent future.

Join SAIF now: visit saif.org.uk or call us on 0345 230 6777 or 01279 726 777

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Under the Blanket

By Matt Black

While I was making my rounds visiting funeral homes, a funeral director invited me into the preparation room and asked, “How much time do other embalmers/ funeral directors spend on the hands? I see a lot of colleagues who just place the hands under the blanket or hide them with flowers or other memorabilia. This is almost every viewing, not just difficult cases. Damn, I must just be getting old.”

I

was surprised because I recently had a similar conversation with a fellow Dodge representative as well as an email from a funeral director asking about techniques on the hands before embalming. This conversation and inquiry left us wondering why some funeral directors are content to just cover those discolored or emaciated hands with the blanket.

If we settle for covering the loved one’s hands with the blanket what story are we are missing?

A friend of mine manages a machine shop. He often laments his “dirty” hands, but I know that he is actually proud of those symbols of hard work.

If he died unexpectedly, I would never dream of covering his hands because they may appear soiled nor would I scrub them to an unnaturally clean for him.

Additionally, covering the hands rather than restoring a natural appearance will cause the viewing public to use their imagination and wonder what we are hiding from them. We have the knowledge and the opportunities to show our abilities. Sadly, what we frequently lack is the desire. That wedding ring on the left hand and

42 | FuneralTimes

stains from years of smoking on the right hand speak volumes. It is our responsibility to help those stories to be heard.

In September of 2004 our funeral home had the honor to serve the family of two brothers aged 22 and 25 who tragically died in a high speed automobile accident. These young men had been out for a bachelor party traveling with two friends who perished as well. The impact of the crash sliced the car in half, leaving the front and rear sections about 100 feet apart according to the State Police. These two brothers had been in the back seat. The Coroner and State Police had already spoken with the family and conveyed to them that the severity of the trauma their loved ones had suffered would mandate a closed casket farewell. Both parents expressed to me and the owner of the funeral home that they had to see their babies. After multiple discussions with the family, we agreed that seeing the boys would allow them the physical closeness that they required to say goodbye to their beloved sons.

As a practical matter for any funeral director in this situation or any similar situation, a “Hold

“Covering the hands rather than restoring a natural appearance will cause the viewing public to use their imagination and wonder what we are hiding from them.”

Harmless Agreement” is an absolute must. Your family will be afforded the needed opportunity for a goodbye while you and your firm are protected from any claims brought against you for mental anguish suffered from viewing a victim of trauma.

Honestly, I wasn’t prepared for the task of preparing and dressing an un-embalmed body. We also did not consider what a trauma like this does to the hands of the deceased. Seemingly endless hours were employed cleaning every millimeter of the hands, removing glass and other foreign items, and doing the necessary nail treatments.

At last we were ready for restoration using wax and an airbrush for cosmetic application. Because the boys had not been embalmed some of these restoration techniques became more difficult.

A great product for sealing small abrasions and allowing for the wax to stick to the compromised area is Pore Closer. Pore Closer has many uses. It restores the natural surface when skin is broken.

It adheres to un-embalmed or embalmed tissue to seal and provide natural contour and is a great base for cosmetic application. Pore Closer acts as its own solvent so one layer works best.

To this day I can see the mother and father walking in to see their boys. The hug and thank you were all we needed. Was it perfect? Certainly not. A perfect situation would not have put these grieving parents in this place. But the parents were able to say goodbye. Mom sat there for hours holding each boy’s hands.

We do everything with our hands. Think of how people express themselves with their hands while communicating. A lack of hand gestures can be perceived as indifference. Psychologytoday. com says that when people speak without any hand gestures it means that they don’t care, and hands that are hidden or can’t be seen shows a lack of trustworthiness. For many, the hands say

as much as spoken words. A colleague recently shared the following experience with me. He and his wife attended the viewing and funeral for a friend’s elderly mother. She was a matriarch of the church, there was a sizeable crowd and the line moved slowly. After speaking with the family, they approached the casket. The casket spray was phenomenal. First class all the way. But upon viewing their friend’s mother, the only thing that stuck in my friend’s mind was, “Her fingernails match her purple dress and she doesn’t have fingernail polish applied!”

Without a doubt, they were not the only ones in attendance to notice the lack of attention to the hands. We have noticed dirty fingernails, emaciated hands that could have been built up with Feature Builder, blue and discolored fingertips, bruises, discolored tissue, non-manicured or untrimmed jagged nails, dried blood, hands that were not adequately embalmed and of course, hands that were completely hidden with the blanket. Why spend hours on pre/ post embalming techniques and cosmetic application of the face, only to give the hands the most superficial attention?

Look closely at your own hands. You will notice the roundness of the fingertips, the color variations, scars, the shape of fingernails, fleshy or bony areas, etc. When we utilize our technical skill, shouldn’t it be our goal to recreate or enhance these details and provide a more natural appearance? This extra effort given to hands might give the family the comfort they need. This may be the difference between a wonderful memory and a failed memory for the family we serve.

When does the proper care of the hands begin?

Our responsibility begins at the time of transfer to your funeral home. Many funeral homes have adopted the use of mechanical devices to keep hands in an upward position for transport.

FuneralTimes | 43

An extremities positioner (Item No. 910157) is a favorite among many to keep the hands in an elevated position.

Do we really want the hands to lay flat at the side of the deceased while they are on the transfer cot? This could cause discoloration, swelling, staining, and other post mortem conditions from blood pooling in these areas. Proper handling during transfer is an important factor in achieving the best results possible for viewing.

Additionally, document all rings, jewelry, and other valuables either retained with the decedent or returned to the family at the time of transfer.

Miscommunication and non-documentation of all valuables can lead to lawsuits down the road. Always verify the intentions of the family if mechanically removing rings or jewelry from a loved one. With cremation, always double check jewelry to ensure that an embarrassing and costly mistake does not happen.

In the prep room, a frequently overlooked step is a proper case analysis with a dedicated focus on the hands by the embalmer. The case analysis of hands is needed to determine the level of need for advanced techniques and procedures to treat common post mortem conditions of the hands including edema, emaciation, dehydration, skin slip, and post mortem discoloration.

In any circumstance, disinfection with Dis-Spray should be the starting point for hand treatment.

This could start even before, at the location of death prior to the transfer. After your initial disinfection with Dis-Spray a thorough washing of hands with Dodge Prep Soap is essential. We need to get rid of those nasties.

Just a reminder: A study of 2000 people by Health Enews suggested that 26%-30% of the people had fecal material on their fingers. This same study found that one in six cell phones were contaminated with fecal material.

Often overlooked are the stains and grime on the hands. It’s always wise to speak with the family before removing these stains and grime. We see stains from tobacco, grease, or the application of medical devices leaving tape residue on the hands. Medical tape can easily be removed with Dry Wash II. Please pay close attention to personal identity markings from the tobaccostained fingers, or a mechanic’s dirty ground in grease on the fingers. The family could have special connections to these stains on the hands.

My grandfather was a coal miner for 50 years.

44 | FuneralTimes

His hands always looked dirty. It would not have been his hands if they had been cleaned to perfection. It is easy to ask permission and then remove, but harm can be done by removing a well-known identifier.

Another frequent oversight in hand care is the dried blood, fecal material, grit, and other things that are often found under the nails and on the hands. Consider the survey of fecal material found on hands and phones, and just imagine if these surveys and studies had been performed at a nursing home facility or a hospital. This area under the fingernail can be a breeding ground for bacteria, odor, and a starting point of decomposition.

This cleaning process can be performed with Dodge Prep Soap and a nail brush or hand brush.

Another popular technique is using an orange stick or the tip of a nail file to remove debris from under the nail. When cleaning the debris from under the nails, take care not to damage or puncture the skin. Trimming and filing the fingernails is also important.

Removing existing fingernail polish is recommended, unless the family objects, and may be done pre- or post-embalming. Nail polish can be removed with acetone or non-acetone remover, and Dry Wash II. An acetone base will remove those tough polishes more efficiently. A great technique to remove the glitter or gel coat polishes is to place a soaked cotton pad over the nail and wrap them with aluminum foil for a few minutes. This loosens the polish and it will be easier to remove. A fresh application of polish can be applied after embalming. The cuticles can be softened with Kalon Massage Cream or Restorative. They can be trimmed or pushed back with an orange stick.

“My grandfather was a coal miner for 50 years. His hands always looked dirty. It would not have been his hands if they had been cleaned to perfection.”

Since we did quite a bit of cleaning, disinfection, and manipulation of the hands, hopefully we have been breaking up any existing rigor mortis.

Remaining rigor mortis may be relieved through repeated manipulation, flexing, and massaging of the hands, fingers, and wrist. Exercise caution when the skin on the hands is fragile. Spray the hands with Restorative or coat them with Kalon Massage Cream prior to any manipulation. Areas of broken skin not treated with Kalon Massage Cream or Restorative may tend to become dehydrated or leathery. The edges of these broken skin areas become dry and inflexible. Conditioning these areas with these products will help prevent unwanted skin tears.

Common sense reminds us to avoid excessive manipulation of the hand that may damage capillaries and cause swelling during arterial injections or even tear the fragile skin. An important reminder: relieving rigor mortis should always be accomplished in a dignified manner.

Better distribution and drainage can be expected during your arterial injection. The manipulation of the hands and arms will lead to a more natural hand posture and position.

Positioning the hands is normally determined by your local funeral home customs. For example, if it is customary in your area that the hands are relaxed but cupped, you can achieve this by using either a dampened towel or paper towels. Simply ball up the towel or paper towels and place them in the cupped hands. This eliminates the “straight as a board,” flat appearance that we have all seen.

It is an unnatural look and can be eliminated easily.

Unfortunately, we have all noticed an unnatural spreading of the fingers at some point. When the fingers are spread wide apart, a flat, unnatural palm and awkward appearing hand will result.

A favorite technique to use prior to embalming when the fingers do not want to cooperate and spread wide apart is to tear 2” long strips of Webril as bandage wrap. These bandages, wrapped around the fingers, will hold them into the desired position. It’s advisable to dampen these strips with water or spray Restorative on them.

Avoid pinching the skin, creating unnatural folds in the skin or making indentations from the Webril bandage wrap. Using Restorative on the Webril bandage wraps will help control this problem. Keep this bandaging in place during the embalming process. It is advisable to replace these Webril bandage strips to help control the

spreading fingers during and after embalming.

Hopefully the embalming process will fixate the fingers into the non-spread position.

As we know, not all arterial chemicals fixate at the same speed. Another option for unnatural spreading of the fingers prior to embalming is using a small amount of Aron Alpha between the fingers. The best location for this small amount of Aron Alpha is around the knuckle area close to the palm. Place the Aron Alpha and hold the hands in position. This technique can be used, with caution, if used at the end of the embalming procedure. It is recommended to apply Kalon Massage Cream or Restorative to all the tissue of the hands. Both products work well.

This article is intended to focus on the importance of the viewable hands. The loved one’s hands play an important part in creating a natural appearance in the open casket or in an ID viewing. This effort to restore the hands will pay off as we aim to satisfy the needs of a grieving family.

While reviewing obituaries in a local newspaper recently I was struck by the number of notices that mentioned private services and no viewing.

Additionally, I saw the notices that announced where a luncheon or similar function would be held.

No one ever said that death is easy and nothing we do as funeral professionals will make it so.

But if we dedicate ourselves to devoting the time and effort needed to create a positive “goodbye” experience, we may be able to encourage our families to consider those viewings and services rather than, “Let’s do lunch.”

If you would like to be added to the mailing list for the complementary Dodge Magazine which is printed quarterly or would like to discuss any of the products mentioned in this article, please contact us at: Shepherds Funeral Supplies, Unit 2A Royal Canal Business Park, Athlone Road, Co. Longford.

Ph. 00353 43 33 49702 /00353 87 2486668 FuneralTimes | 45

Finding ways to be here for those grieving At some point in our lives, we have all experienced the difficulty of finding the right words to comfort someone who has lost a loved one in the normal course of events. Recently, this has been compounded by the current lockdown/restricted world we find ourselves in, which has resulted in funerals changing.

W

e have been used to the well attended funeral, the crowded funeral chapel, the close network of family and friends supportively surrounding the graveside, wake or in the grounds of the crematorium, all of which served a role in the bereavement process and showed not only support for those left behind, but also marked the passing of their loved one by being there to offer comfort and celebrate a life.

At such an event, even when the right words escaped us, we could somehow compensate and offer comfort with a hug, a gentle touch, or even just sitting in companionable silence. It is this human touch that carried us through when words didn’t come easy.

In a few short months, the years of tradition and familiar comforts we could offer to support those in grief has gone.

Now we strive to find new ways,

46 | FuneralTimes

because their need for comfort is still the same, grief has not changed, rather it is the means by which we can support our friends and family in grief has changed. For many their feelings of grief have magnified due to the additional isolation they are experiencing because of lockdown. Now, it is not just the hole left by their loved one, but the large void created by a virtually isolated funeral.

As a Civil Funeral Celebrant I would like to share my thoughts with you on supporting someone through this process at this time, where I have witnessed other people’s experiences, and seen what has helped to ease their suffering, and I share also the comfort that I benefitted from, through my own bereavement journey, when we lost our son, Adam, six years ago very suddenly age 19yrs in a car crash.

We want those in grief to hear that we are thinking of them, there is something powerful and

gentle about a voice saying, ‘I’m so sorry’, or ‘I’m thinking of you’.

I would encourage you to record a message to the person, let them know that you are thinking of them at this time, let them know that you may not be able to be there physically, but that they are in your heart, be as open and as heartfelt as if you were there talking to them face to face.

Send a video, audio message or even a text message. If you choose to send a video, remember to look at the camera, so the recipient sees the warmth in your eyes as well as hearing the warmth, gentleness and genuine sorrow in your voice, just as they would if you could be beside them to sympathise.

You don’t have to strive to keep your voice steady, real emotion is personal, and can give real comfort. It says, ‘It’s okay to cry’, because truth is, you probably would if you were with them.

A text message can be used to send all the words of support

and comfort that you would use if you were speaking to the person face to face. What is important is that these messages show you are thinking of them at this sad and lonely time. Also, the beauty of these messages is the person can save them, create an album, and have them to look back on. It is something I did and found to be of great comfort.

Of course, not everyone will find this idea helpful, however if it prompts someone in grief to come up with their own idea of comfort, that’s the better option, my sharing here is simply to

offer some ideas. Simply sitting down, putting pen to paper to let them know that you are thinking of them, taking time to tell them that you know they are in pain and that you understand how huge their loss is, even if all you can manage is to tell them that you don’t know what to say to ease their pain, but that you are there and you are thinking of them, can mean so much, and be a treasured part of their grieving process while also letting them know they are cared about.

We can also pick up the phone, make that call, even if we are unsure what to say, or feel like we are stepping outside our comfort zone. It might help to remind ourselves why we are making the call and to bear in mind that the appearance of a familiar name or number on a screen may in itself offer some comfort to the recipient, or indeed, if the person doesn’t feel up to talking at that time, they can simply choose not to answer, yet still be comforted to know they were in your thoughts. I suggest you leave a voice mail telling them there is no need to call back, simply leave your message to say you are thinking of them.

Believe me when I say that most will truly appreciate your having no expectation on them

to call back, which in and of itself is a huge ease of pressure at a time when they can feel so lost and be struggling to do the simplest of daily tasks.

At this uncertain and changing time I firmly believe that human connectivity is not limited to physical presence and now more than ever it is important to reach out to those who really need to know that they are being thought of, they are being remembered and that their loved ones were loved too.

For now, we cannot be with those in grief as in times past, we can neither hug, nor cry together in person. YET we can adapt what is so important by finding meaningful ways to love, support, offer sympathy, letting our family and friends know we care and are here for them. It is my belief, we can find ways to show those left behind, that we feel a deep sense of loss for them and their loved one at this time.

Quite simply, let us reach out in new ways to show we share their grief and let them know they are loved!

Sue Anne O’Donnell The Celebrant By Your Side.

Civil Celebrant (IIOC Trained and Associate Member of IAFD)

Sue Anne O’Donnell - ‘The Celebrant By Your Side’

IIOC Trained and Associate Member of IAFD Civil Celebrant

As a civil celebrant I offer an alternative to church ceremonies. Every ceremony is personally written and delivered respectfully to pay homage to the life of your loved one ensuring they are remembered with grace and dignity.

Civil Funerals, Memorials and Anniversaries allow us a time and space to mark our loved one’s passing while also honouring our grief.

The ceremony can take place in your home, funeral chapel of repose, crematorium, grave-side or place of special significance.

If I can be of help in my role as a Funeral Celebrant for a Funeral, Memorial or Anniversary, please feel free to contact me.

Funerals conducted throughout Ireland 7 days a week Mobile: 086 8239431 Email: sueannecelebrant@gmail.com / Website: thecelebrantbyyourside.com FuneralTimes | 47

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Online Condolences surge during Pandemic W

ith the recent restrictions on attending funerals, coupled with travel restrictions, we have seen a surge of online activity from sympathisers looking to leave messages of condolence.

This traffic was typically lost to other sites providing the service taking it away from your own website.

At the start of the pandemic, alerted to this situation by our customers, we designed a solution that allowed you to capture this traffic directly on

your own website and offer your customers either printed or digital books of condolence at no extra cost. Since it’s been active we’ve seen thousands of condolence messages being passed on from our customers to the families that otherwise might have been lost to other sites.

Another benefit of capturing more of this traffic on your own website is that it gives you more opportunities to interact with your customers that might otherwise be lost, with flower

sales being one of the most common. This all helps create a more cohesive experience for both the bereaved family and the sympathisers, all the while keeping your brand center stage.

If this is something you’d like to try out and see how it works for your business then get in touch to start your 30-day free trial. We’ll have you set up, publishing your notices and receiving condolence messages in no time.

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FuneralTimes | 49

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emember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to Thy protection, implored Thy help, or sought Thy intercession, was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence I fly unto Thee, O Virgin of Virgins, my Mother, to Thee I come; before Thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in Thyclemency hear and answer me. Amen. www.memorial-printing.com www.funeratimes.com T: 028 3835 5060

Afterglow I’d like the memory of me to be a happy one.

The Memorare Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to Thy protection, implored Thy help, or sought Thy intercession, was left unaided.

Inspired with this confidence I fly unto Thee, O Virgin of Virgins, my Mother, to Thee I come; before Thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despite not my petitions, but in Thy clemency hear and answer me.

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I’d like the tears of those who grieve to dry before the sun.

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Leaving the Panic out of Pandemic

By Dr Bill Webster I believe we will look back on the Covid 19 pandemic, like we did after 9/11, as a time when the world as we knew it changed. The world will go on, of course, but how we see that world will be transformed. hese are strange, scary times, and in such times people act scared and strange, which is hardly surprising considering everything seems to change daily.

If you remember the old BBC comedy “Dad’s Army”, (check it out on YouTube!) Corporal Jones in times of crisis would run around shouting, “DON’T PANIC … DON”T PANIC!!”

I think even good old Jonesy would have changed his tune in this situation, because we have certainly seen panic in our midst, which is a basic reaction when your world is altered.

We need to understand that pandemics and other crises don’t just attack frailties in the human body; they also exploit weaknesses in human nature and society. It’s not just a matter of dealing with a virus too small to see; we are dealing with hurdles often too big to recognise and discern.

What we are seeing is a conflict between individualism and collective co-operative behaviour; between the goal of independent security and welfare and the concept of the common good.

Many local stores have been reminiscent of scenes from a disaster movie, with people hoarding masks, soap and sanitizer, food, bottled water, chocolate and other products, leaving store shelves cleared and empty, and

T

“These are strange, scary times, and in such times people act scared and strange”

even fights breaking out over basic everyday items.

Even more sadly, we have observed some stock piling necessary items, then trying to gouge people by selling them at exorbitant prices.

Others have even perpetrated “scams” selling phoney masks, decontaminating services, and even fake test kits, which is downright wicked and harmful.

How can we understand this behaviour? Many culprits are aware that this is a stupid and selfish thing to do. But in their minds, if you can’t trust other people to share, then selfish behaviour makes emotional sense even when it is irrational and even detrimental.

If we subscribe to a world economy that rewards blind self-interest while making selfsacrifice or philanthropy unaffordable, it’s not surprising that some start acting like “it’s everyone for themselves”.

Albert Camus once wrote, “What’s true of all the evils in the world is true of plague as well. It helps men to rise above themselves.”

The examples above show this statement not entirely accurate. What a crisis actually tends to do is reveal “true character”, including its incongruities and inconsistencies.

On one hand we see people wrestling each other over the last rolls of toilet paper. But on the other, the cellist Yo-Yo Ma is broadcasting recordings from his house, and quarantined Sicilians are playing music together from their high-rise balconies. The media is now reporting many acts of kindness, generosity and community that more often rises to the fore in times of crisis.

We are all in this together, and it is together that we will overcome the challenge. I truly believe that history will record, as it did after 9/11, the many ways in which people came together and supported one another.

FuneralTimes | 57

I believe there is more good in people than malevolence, especially in times of crisis.

People make strange choices when they are afraid. At the root of every anxiety is the fear of not being able to control things. Right now, as I write, the situation seems out of control.

But as the Serenity Prayer wisely puts it, we have to differentiate between the things we cannot change and the things we can change.

So, what can we control and what can’t we?

While we may not be able to change the circumstances we are in we can decide what we are going to DO about them.

From a practical perspective: Understand that people who aren’t used to the concept of common good don’t know what to do in the face of a common threat—except to panic. Some would rather die than be seriously inconvenienced.

Spare a thought for those individuals (doctors,

“I believe there is more good in people than malevolence, especially in times of crisis.”

nurses, healthcare workers, funeral directors and other frontline workers and their families) who are under tremendous risk to their own health and well-being to serve others who desperately need help.

Call a senior citizen who is shut in, or someone in quarantine in a nursing home or care facilities where the days are long and lonely.

We have to practice trust. Our biggest problems as a species are going to be the problems we can’t solve without trusting each other to do the right thing.

We have to be gentle with each other. Ask your neighbours how they’re doing or what they need... or even what their names are!

Many believe this coronavirus is a dry (or maybe a “very damp”) run for disasters to come. WE know there will be more pandemics in the future. This is a stress test of our capacity to cope with world-scale disasters, and probably this time we are going to pass the test. We will get through this, albeit not without suffering, sacrifice and for many, much sadness.

This will be awful before it is over, and then it will end, and when it does, we’ll have built up our resistance to a virus, and our resilience to

First you hurt, then you heal Dr. Bill Webster understands grief not just in theory, but also from personal experience. In his book, “First you Hurt, Then you Heal”, Dr. Bill outlines a road map for the grief journey in a series of articles that take us through the process .

He begins with a chapter entitled “I Didn’t Plan for This” that gives people an understanding of what they may experience in the early days after a loss. The book then goes on to give us an understanding of grief, some insights into various situations of loss, and some strategies to help us work through the process.

This book will be a helpful resource for those who are going through a grief process as well as containing much relevant and practical information for those who would like to know what they can say and how they can help someone who has experienced a significant loss. It will also serve as a basic knowledge and layman’s guide for those in the helping professions such as nurses, teachers, funeral directors and those who seek to support grieving people, young and old, through their work. “First you Hurt, Then you Heal” provides practical, down to earth and effective insight into one of the most difficult topics and most misunderstood experiences of life.

First you Hurt, Then you Heal: A Road Map for the Grief Journey (Kindle Edition) is avaialble to buy on Amazon.

58 | FuneralTimes

crisis. And maybe we will have learned that we are all in this together.

Stay safe and healthy everyone.

In the words of poet Kitty O’Meara: And the people stayed home. And read books, and listened, and rested, and exercised, and made art, and played games, and learned new ways of being, and were still. And listened more deeply.

Some meditated, some prayed, some danced. Some met their shadows. And the people began to think differently.

And the people healed. And, in the absence of people living in ignorant, dangerous, mindless, and heartless ways, the earth began to heal.

And when the danger passed, and the people joined together again, they grieved their losses, and made new choices, and dreamed new images, and created new ways to live and heal the earth fully, as they had been healed.

Opel Rekord Estate photo plea ...

R

ecently retired funeral director, Kevin Kyne, contacted us to see if Funeral Times could help him find a photograph of an Opel Rekord Estate with a bubble window on the rear door. He recalled how these vehicles were very popular with rural Irish funeral directors in the 1970s. They could be converted into a hearse easily by taking out the back seat and putting in a deck. Kevin’s family used to own three of them, but unfortunately don’t have any photographs of them. He would love to have one!

If you can help him, please don’t hesitate to get in touch.

Contact Kevin Kyne, Moycullen, Co. Galway Tel: 087 2729277 or email: kevin@kynes.ie

Thank you FuneralTimes | 59

Coleman Milne announces significant new investment Continuous improvement and investment sees Coleman Milne invest in new spray-booth technology and purpose-built Quality Hub. • Three new TCL Cyclone installations boost spraybooth capacity to five booths • Investment in ‘Quality Hub’ sees new processes for benchmarking product quality • Outlay strengthens CM’s position as Europe’s leading ceremonial vehicle producer Coleman Milne, the UK’s leading funeral car and limousine manufacturer, has revealed 60 | FuneralTimes

details of a £500,000 investment following the installation of three new STL Cyclone ‘downdraft’ spray-booths and a new purpose-built Quality Hub at the company’s manufacturing facility in Westhoughton, Greater Manchester.

With such a substantial level of investment, Coleman Milne has demonstrated its commitment to customers by bolstering its

state-of-the art production facilities while improving upon its already unrivalled levels of product quality.

The three new STL Cyclone spay-booths feature downdraft technology to extract excess overspray via an underfloor pit.

Mains gas heated and benefiting from a full LED lighting system, a high-power aerofoil fan system to move 44,000 cubic metres of

air per hour, and an Aqua-Dry Air Agitation blower system to dramatically speed-up drying time. These latest installations increases Coleman Milne’s paint-shop capacity to five full-size spray-booths, each with a volume to accommodate the largest hearses and limousines.

“This investment is a clear demonstration of our commitment to continuous quality improvement,” said Managing Director, Lee Hudson, “The latest STL Cyclone spraybooths provide unrivalled levels of performance and efficiency.

Their installation strengthens our position as the leading ceremonial vehicle producer in the UK and throughout Europe, and,” he said, “we will continue to invest in the latest technology and product development to deliver a range

of funeral vehicles that offers exceptional operational value and outstanding quality.”

Significant investment has also been made in Coleman Milne’s quality assurance and control. Utilising proven ‘Six Sigma’ quality assurance methodology, and raising the standards of quality through the implementation of a systematic quality management approach, has set a benchmark for excellence. To support this, the company has recently invested in an on-site ‘Quality Hub’ to ensure every vehicle is produced to the very highest standard.

The Quality Hub provides independent and consistent analysis to benchmark product quality and to remove any deviation from the finished vehicle. The process relies on precise data-driven problem

solving based on world-class practices to which Coleman Milne’s ceremonial fleet will now be subject. Matt Tyrer, Quality & Manufacturing Engineer said, “The aim is to bring the voice of the customer into the factory, while at the same time emphasising to our employees that their own fastidious attention to their individual processes is key to overall product quality. The new Quality Hub comes after years of OEM luxury vehicle quality and problem-solving experience,” he said, “and it will be regularly reviewed and updated to ensure we continuously improve the quality of our vehicles.”

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Wards take to the roads S

erving the Monaghan community since 1977, Wards Funeral Services have a proud tradition of going the extra mile for the individuals and families they serve, as was evidenced by their investment in a stunning purpose-built Funeral Home in Ballybay several

62 | FuneralTimes

years ago. As well as this, they have funeral homes in Carrickmacross and Castleblayney.

Recently, Pรกdraig and Elaine undertook a funeral and were able to do something extra special, despite current restrictions, to perhaps make the goodbye that little bit easier.

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Woodall Nicholson Group appoints new MD of Ceremonial Vehicles Division

C

ontinuing the Woodall Nicholson Group progress over the last few years and in support of our ambition to provide our customers with leading market-focused businesses in all sectors we operate in, we are delighted to announce the appointment of Lee Hudson as the Managing Director of the Ceremonial Division.

Our ceremonial division currently comprises of our UK market leading business of “Coleman Milne” and our growing international expansion with “Binz International”. Lee brings a wealth of senior Business Development and Operational

experience in both domestic and international markets.

Lee has taken over the helm of “Coleman Milne” and “Binz International” from Geoff Hudson who following a successful 45 years with the Woodall Nicholson Group, cumulating in leading the business as CEO for several successful years, has now taken a step toward retirement. Geoff will continue to support the business on a part-time basis, where he will continue to be one of our strongest ambassadors within the industry.

Frank Barrett, CEO of Woodall Nicholson said, “I would like to both congratulate Lee on his

appointment and offer a heartfelt thanks to Geoff for his outstanding contribution to the shaping of the business we have today.”

BIE News BIE News Ireland Division Hi all, I hope all our members and families are keeping safe and well.

We are still working on restructuring our meetings and looking at events and speakers for the near future. We may organise a zoom meeting before the end of the year so we would like to see as many members join us. I know recently qualified members are anxious to receive their certs and we are looking at ways to get them to you in an official capacity. Hopefully this will happen soon. If anybody has any suggestions or questions please contact your divisional secretary at susan.moran@mortuaryscience.ie BIE Irish Chairman Cyril Gantley 64 | FuneralTimes

List of BIE Officers and Appointed Representatives for 2020 National President: Bobby Hopkin-Hoggarth MBIE Imm. Past President: Dr Phil Gore MBIE 1st Vice President: Dianne Hughes National PRO & National General Secretary: Karen Caney FBIE White Meadow Cottage, Brailsford, Derby DE6 3DA Tel: 01332 349035(BIE) Mobile: 07786 432014 E: karencaney@btopenworld. com National Treasurer: Michael Liddle FBIE 10 Yew Tree Close, Silsoe MK45 4EQ Business Tel: 01582 490005 Home Tel: 01525 860117 E: michael@silsloe.wanadoo. co.uk Editor: Gwen Schofield FBIE 9 Seymour Walk, Meltham, Holmfirth HD9 4BP Home Tel: 01484 851994 Mobile: 07778 279100 E: gwen.schofield@ntlworld. com Master Fellow: David Kaye FBIE Student Liaison Officer: David Coster MBIE

IRISH DIVISION Chairman: Cyril Gantley MBIE 336 Kildare Road, Crumlin, Dublin 12 Mobile: 085 7671582 E: cyril.gantley@mortuaryscience.ie Secretary: Susan Moran 20 Cedarwood Park, Newbridge, Co. Kildare Mobile: 086 0619500 E: susan.moran@mortuaryscience.ie National Council Rep: Pamela Murphy MBIE 14 Parknasillogue Court, Enniskerry, Co. Wicklow Mobile: 085 7415421 2nd National Council Rep and Treasurer: John Hawe MBIE 12 Meadow Vale, Smith’s Road, Charleville, Co.Cork Mobile: 087 6390087 E: jmhawe@eircom.net NORTHERN IRELAND DIVISION Chairman Pat Harley, MBIE 67 Creggan Road, L’derry BT48 9DA Tel: 07712 899137 E: pat.harley@hotmail.co.uk Vice Chairman: Mrs N Taggart, MBIE 11 Alderley Crescent, Newtownabbey BT36 7WY

Tel: 07917 220073 E: nikkiknockaning@aol.com 1st National Council Representative: Laurence O’Neill MBIE 98 Stewartstown Road, Belfast BT11 9JP Tel: 028 9062 0099 E: oneill8210@hotmail.com 2nd National Council Representative: Ellison Sloan MBIE Tel: 028 3833 6175 Treasurer: Andrew McMullan MBIE 22 High Street, Ballymoney Co. Antrim BT53 6AQ Tel: 028 2766 2265 E: andrew@mcmullanfunerals. com Secretary: Liam Edwin Boyle, MBIE S. Clarke and Son Funeral Directors 12 Court Square, Newtownards, Co. Down BT23 7YN Tel: 07713 575501 E: liamboyle15@hotmail.co.uk 1st Educational Committee Representative: Stephen Shields MBIE James Brown & Sons 300 Newtownards Road, Belfast Tel: 028 9045 1021 E: jamesbrown.belfast@ funeralpartners.com Student Liaison Officer Charlie Poots MBIE FuneralTimes | 65

A Forgotten Lunch-Box And Preparing For The Worst

By Mattie Lennon I have absolutely no interest in any sport. Pertaining to the game of golf in particular I don’t care if it was Mark Twain or Harry Leon Wilson who described it as “a good walk spoiled,” I agree with the sentiment. I also ask myself where did the game start? I got a little insight into the addictive nature of the pastime the day that there was a doctor and a barrister playing at Tulfarris. As a funeral cortege passed on its way to Baltyboys cemetery, the doctor doffed his cap, bowed his head and remained in silent prayer for some minutes. The barrister said, “You have great respect for the dead, Doc.” The doctor replaced his cap, straightened up and replied, “It’s the least I can do. I was married to her for thirty-five years.”

A man went to Naas hospital to visit his mother-in-law, who was in serious condition. On the way back the wife, very worried, asks: “So, John? How’s my mom doing?” He replies: “She looks great Mary.

She is in good health! She will still live for many years. Next week she will be discharged from the hospital and will come and live with us, forever.”

“Wow that’s amazing,” says the surprised wife - “But this is very strange, John... yesterday she seemed to be on her deathbed, the doctors said she should have a few days to live!”

“Well, I don’t know how she was yesterday,” says John, “but today when I arrived at the hospital, the doctor told me that we should prepare for the worst!”

Overheard in Lyreacrompane; “I don’t know whether the mother-in-law would prefer Riverdance or a few old fashioned jigs an’ reels.”

“I don’t think she’d want you to dance on her grave in the first place.”

66 | FuneralTimes

S

At the time of writing County Kildare is on lockdown. The Blessington Lake borders Kildare and now they are slagging me. Look at the picture I received today!

In 1998 a company called RMS Titanic Inc. managed to raise a 20 ton piece of the Titanic. 98 year old Sam, in Belfast, watched every subsequent news bulletin with bated breath hoping to hear that they had raised the rest of the great ship.

On the day she sailed out on her maiden voyage he was aged twelve. He remembered his father, a boiler-maker, coming home that evening and saying that he had forgotten his lunch box and left it in one of the engine rooms. Sam now hoped to retrieve it.

ix retired Cavan men were playing in a high stakes poker game in a clubhouse in Killenaleck. A member of the group, Jimmy Smith loses €50 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five finishes playing the hand standing up. Maguire looks around and asks, “So, who’s goin’ to tell his wife?”

They cut the cards, and Brady “wins” the duty.

They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, not to make a bad situation any worse. “Discreet?

I’m the most discreet person you’ll ever meet.

Discretion is my middle name,” he says. Leave it to me.”

Off he goes over to Jimmy’s apartment and knocks on the door. Mrs. Smith answers and asks what he wants. Maguire declares, “Your husband just lost €50 playing poker, and is afraid to come home.”

“Tell him to drop dead!” says the wife. “Will do,” he says A man from a midland town arrived home from hospital with the news that he had six months to live. His son, by way of consolation, said, “Ah, shur ye won’t feel it passin’ .”

C

ontigious to Burgage cemetery stands the ruins of a medeval church. Legend has it that it is the closest our National Apostle came to my native heath. Many years ago old Jimmy Freeman in Ballyknockan put me wide to the finer points of this bit of history, Saint Patrick stood at Burgage an’ he come no farther. An’ he pointed his staff up at Lacken, Kylebeg an’ Ballinastockan an’ he sed ‘Let that be a den of thieves an’ robbers forever more’ “.

FuneralTimes | 67

Jennifer is author of ‘Say Farewell Your Way’ - a funeral planning guide for Ireland, blogger of www.theglamreaper.blogspot.com, creator of Irish Glass Memorial Jewellery line: Humans www.celtic-ashes.com; Pets - www.rainbowbridge-memorials.com, planner of Memorials at funeral homes and talker - @TheGlamReaper on Twitter and Tedx 2017 Any questions just ask - muldowney.jennifer@gmail.com

By Jennifer Muldowney

New York Times’ poignant tribute to those lost The New York Times published an obituary showing 1% of the names of the 100,000 people who have passed away from COVID19. A poignant moment in the history of the publication. All of these people needing at least one of us, the funeral community to assist. The same applies all over the world.

On August 17th 2020 I had the honour of officiating the Annual Remembrance Service of the New York State Funeral Directors. It’s tough as a member of the Funeral community we are often asked to lay our personal lives aside in honour of those we serve. I chose a simple service that focussed on healing those we had lost over the last year - 20 funeral community members that were family. I won’t repeat what I said but it included a breathing exercise and candlelight and I was inundated with appreciation afterwards as people found solace in the gratitude we practiced and in the peace and time of reflection we allowed ourselves in the moment. I will share a piece I read by Oliver Stacks and perhaps someone reading this will gain some insight or healing from it and if you find yourself in a moment of pain or grief, take something I shared at the service - just light a candle and breathe.

68 | FuneralTimes

‘There will be no one like us when we are gone, but then there is no one like anyone else, ever.

When people die, they cannot be replaced.

They leave holes that cannot be filled, for it is the fate—the genetic and neural fate—of every human being to be a unique individual, to find his own path, to live his own life, to die his own death. I cannot pretend I am without fear. But my predominant feeling is one of gratitude. I have loved and been loved; I have been given much and I have given something in return; I have read and traveled and thought and written. Above all, I have been a sentient being, a thinking animal, on this beautiful planet, and that in itself has been an enormous privilege and adventure.’

Tonight or today in your funeral home, hold a candle close and show gratitude for each life as you breathe in the compassion that surrounds you.

“There will be no one like us when we are gone, but then there is no one like anyone else, ever. When people die, they cannot be replaced.”

FuneralTimes | 69

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Northern Ireland Chest Heart & Stroke

NI Chest Heart and Stroke are still caring through COVIDMassive Warning – How you Mini Stroke, can help yourself and others.

At Northern Ireland Chest, Heart and Stroke, we are caring through Consultant Strokestill Physician, Dr Brian Gallen, sits on Northern COVID for local people Ireland Chest Heart and Stroke’s living with, of Governors and believes and Board at risk of chest, heart and stroke many of the patients he works with had a TIA before their full stroke, conditions, as well as for survivors of often without realising. the virus itself.

“I regularly see patients who have had a Transient Ischaemic Attack (TIA)ease or mini-stroke, their full we know s we out of before lockdown, stroke. Some have been diagnosed that life is still far from but often when I am assessingback to normal and treatingof them, they willacross tell me Northern for thousands people about other recent symptoms, Ireland, especially those living with health which in retrospect I believe were conditions signs ofwho a TIA. have had to shield. In light

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Stroke and Carers Support Groups: providing the chance to take part in activities to build confidence and increase independence with people in similar situations.

PREP & Taking Control Programmes: helping to rebuild lives and confidence.

Prevention: individual health

activities, and companionship from others advice and public health awareness who know whatcampaigns. it’s like to live with their condition.

Research: funding ground– breaking local research which We are also now piloting our new changes lives. of the pandemic, protecting the health of Covid-19 Recovery Service, the first “Every day I see the devastation our service users is our priority, and so community service for survivors of How your donations support our that stroke causes.

I seetop patients work. Ireland. This whonot havebeen a life ofable disability we have to ahead run our usual face COVID-19 in Northern £10 – Will provide 25 crucial ‘Life them, partners and families who Dr Brian Gallen, Consultant to faceof services. support to deal with Stroke Physician.programme willAfter Stroke’them information booklets, become carers overnight, and of Instead, wethehave reorganised help stroke survivors rebuild course grief of those whose our staff the physical andtopsychological problems their lives. loved ones did not survive. that if someone gets treatment and adapted our programmes to continue left behind by this new disease and will for a TIA, through a TIA clinic, their reaching and those awhoriskneed them in building lung £17 – Paysup for atheir visit from a Stroke “There aresupporting many ways to prevent of a full strokeassist is reduced.

A TIA Family Co-ordinator in the the time. first place us thestroke mosthappening during in this This has is a warning sign that cannot be health and general onSupport the long road to aftermath of a stroke. and aoperating good place to start is by ignored.” included a telephone support recuperation. recognising the body’s own warning service, providing and – Pays for one person to mechanism, theessential TIA. There’semotional a NICHS has recentlyAlmost launched90% an of£25 our work is funded attend a PREP scheme for a week. leaflet enclosedas withwell this pack to highlight practical support as adviceawareness to localcampaign through public donations – indeed, we which lists the warning signs to look what you need to know about mini peopleoutliving could be– Will here continuing to £50 enable up to 5 people for. with conditions throughout strokes. For moresimply information on not to attend NICHS’s weekly the ongoing pandemic. To date, ourthecare ‘Mini Stroke, Massive Warning’ deliver vital services without them.Stroke We Activity Groups.

“A TIA has the same symptoms and 20,000 campaign visit www.nichs.org.uk/ services team have made almost are also very grateful to Funeral Directors causes as a full stroke. But during a ministroke phoneTIA calls.

We have also adapted – Will pay 4 hours of a the body breaks down the clot across Northern£100 Ireland forfor their continued clinical researcher’s time, to carry lasting damage has severalbefore of our services to been be delivered support, particularly at this difficult time. out research into the diagnosis done to the brain. online. These include, educational selfIf you, or someone you know needs our and treatment of chest, heart and stroke illnesses. management for people living “But whensessions you are experiencing support during these challenging times, symptoms, knowcondition if 1 in 10 and people who have a mini with athe chest, heartyouordon’t stroke get in touch. You they will go away or not, so you need stroke will sufferplease a full stroke their carers.

Our support groups have to call 999. withinalso a week. can make a referral on our moved online with attendees being able to website by visiting www.

“The statistics say it all – 1 in 10 How NICHS can help: meet over ona TIA a fortnightly basis to nichs.org.uk/getsupport or peoplevideo who have go on to Stroke Family Support: helping benefithave from speakers, a fullguest stroke within a week. educational families in the difficult call days 028 9032 0184.

However a recent study has shown

72 | NICHS_lift_A4_v3.indd FuneralTimes

1

following a stroke.

09/05/2018 20:57

Through our own personal experience we received the inspiration to set up Treasured Keepsakes, to give people a wide variety of options upon a loved one’s passing should they choose to keep a lock of hair, cremated remains, a piece of jewellery, a photograph or anything that is a personal reminder of their loved one in a small keepsake, keepsake pendant or urn.

Funeral directors we are currently working with have tailored our service to suit their needs. We have two options of how our service can work for you. If you wish you can buy our products from us at a wholesale price and sell them directly to your clients. Alternatively we can offer this service to your clients directly.

We would hope that by recommending our service we will enhance and add value to your business at no extra cost to you.

For more information contact us or visit our website Tel: 01 825 4579 From NI: 00353 1 825 4579 info@treasuredkeepsakes.ie www.treasuredkeepsakes.ie

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Aidan Walsh & Sons Funeral Directors Applications are invited for a

TRAINEE FUNERAL DIRECTOR/EMBALMER to join our small, busy team on a permanent basis.

Assisting the operations of funeral directing in co-ordinating removals and supervise, arrange and conduct all aspects of funerals, always acting with discretion and professionalism, as you put our clients wishes at the heart of everything you do.

Must hold a clean drivers licence.

Any other duties assigned by the employer. Flexible approach to working hours is essential and will include night, weekend and bank holiday rotas.

Online applications to: aidanwalshandsons@gmail.com Aidan Walsh & Sons Funeral Directors, Castle Street, Cappoquin, Co,Waterford Tel. 087 2847831 or 058 52788 74 | FuneralTimes

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76 | FuneralTimes

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email your advert to: sales@funeraltimes.com FuneralTimes | 77

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