Ft issue 5 2016

The magazine for Funeral Directors in Ireland

2016 Vol.16 No.5

Investing for our customers

Tuesday 3rd Wednesday 4th October 2017

Bringing it all together Citywest Hotel & Conference Centre, Saggart, Co. Dublin If your business is providing funeral products to the Ireland and UK market, the Funeral Times Trade Show Ireland 2017 is a must for your sales campaign There is a large range of space options and exhibition areas to choose from, whatever size your business

Book your space now!

Call 028/048 3835 5060 or email sales@funeraltimes.com

The magazine for Funeral Directors in Ireland

Griffins team up with Limerick businessman.................. 4

Mandie appointed new CEO for NAFD......................... 53

Contents Limerick businessmen aiming for the clouds.................. 4 New Vatican directive on cremated ashes........................ 9 IAFD News.................................................................... 10 'My Way' back on top of the charts................................ 21 Lifeboat named after Peter Wilcox................................ 22 BIE News....................................................................... 26 Lifeboat named after Peter Wilcox................................ 22

Editorial and Advertising contacts: Graham Brown | Ruth McQuillan Vikki Crangle | Paula Hanna Tel: (028) 3835 5060 (048) from ROI

Karl Wenzel reflects on handling the issues surrounding decomposition............................................ 32 St. Patrick's cuts morning mass...................................... 40 NAFD News................................................................... 49 Mandie Lavin appointed new CEO at NAFD................ 53 Jennifer Muldowney's Christmas message....................61 Dr Bill Webster - You have to laugh!............................. 62

Funeral Times is owned and published by: InHouse Publications, 1 Annagh Drive, Craigavon, Co. Armagh BT63 5WF email: sales@funeraltimes.com

SAIF News..................................................................... 67 Christmas crackers and ullaloos by Mattie Lennon....... 70 Spectacular cemeteries................................................... 73 Classifieds...................................................................... 79

Disclaimer: Readers are urged to support the magazine’s advertisers, but the publishers cannot be held responsible for any claims made or implied in the advertisements. The publishers reserve the right to refuse advertising. Opinions expressed in this magazine by contributing writers and advertisers are not necessarily those of the publishers. Every effort is made to ensure the accuracy of information contributed for inclusion in this magazine but no legal responsibility will be accepted by the publishers for loss arising from the use of published articles. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior consent. Articles and photographs for inclusion are welcomed but the publishers cannot accept responsibility for their loss or damage however caused.

FuneralTimes | 3

Limerick businessmen aiming for the clouds

A

newly-launched cloud-based webapplication, designed to handle and simplify the paperwork side of funeral arranging has its sights set on global success. The Irish Examiner recently covered the story.

Created by two Limerick businessmen, Dick Lynch and John-Mark Griffin, the application, named Obit, aims to maximise time efficiency and reduce errors in dealing with the paperwork involved in funeral arrangement and the coordinating of the funeral.

Mr Lynch, who previously held senior management positions in manufacturing and aviation, said: “Obit is a cloudbased package specifically designed for funeral directors...We have been working on it for over a year and there has been very significant interest among funeral directors from all over the country.”

Limerick funeral directors, Griffin’s, have taken on the software already. The interview also revealed details of the partners’ pitch to a regional meeting of the Irish Association of Funeral Directors, 4 | FuneralTimes

held in Athlone. Obit feel the response they received was extremely positive, and have acquired a number of customers as a result. The originators make it very clear that this is a product intended to be marketed worldwide.

Dick’s son Mark contributed significantly to the creation of Obit, having over 20 years’ experience in software development.

John-Mark Griffin, whose family are long-established funeral directors in Limerick, teamed up with Mr Lynch to develop Obit.

John-Mark explains how the pair were aiming to “find ways of reducing the time that goes into administration when organising a funeral....Obit is an internal administration package for funeral directors and it’s the first cloud-based website package for the profession. My father Gerry, brother David and our colleagues here in Griffin’s helped in the development of the web-application. We now have it in place and I would say there is a market for it, not just in this country,

David Lynch, Software Engineer, has teamed up with local Limerick undertaker, Griffins

but worldwide.”

With the work of a funeral director representing a 24/7 commitment, “no matter where you are, you have access to the system to commence making

arrangements for a family at any time, the system also offers a huge reduction in administration time, along with a reduction in clerical and operation errors due to central communication layout”.

FuneralTimes | 5

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St Peter’s Square, Vatican City

Surprise at new Vatican directive on cremated ashes Colin Gleeson of irishtimes.com recently published an article outlining the initial reaction in Ireland to new instructions handed down through the Catholic Church

T

he Vatican’s recent instruction to the Catholic faithful holds that any and all cremated remains of loves ones must be spread or interred only in consecrated graveyards, or stored within a church, without exception. The directive identifies alternative treatment or storage of ashes, to be unsatisfactory, Cardinal Ludwig Müller stating how “The dispersion of ashes in the air, on the ground, on water or in some other way as well as the conversion of cremated ashes into commemorative objects is not allowed.”

The Vatican’s leading doctrinal expert, Cardinal Gerhard Müller explained how, alongside the growing popularity of cremations, comes a marked effort from the church to retain the holy nature of burial, hence the insistence on ashes being kept “in a holy place specifically dedicated to this purpose”.

The church has not hidden from its 2,000 year preference for burials. In terms of

enforcement, the Catholic Communications Office in Ireland has indicated that this recent Vatican directive is not merely a “set of discretionary guidelines”, with practices such as the division of ashes amongst family members or their preservation viewed as strictly prohibited.

Pádraig O’Reilly, the manager of Lakelands Crematorium in Cavan, is most certainly not alone in voicing his skepticism over the potential impacts of the ruling, believing the Church may be “wasting their time” in trying to influence what is first and foremost considered “a family decision”, where “half of all cremated remains are scattered in a favored place, or buried in family plots”.

Pádraig highlighted the extra financial burdens imposed on a family who had not factored in the cost of a burial plot, should they be forced to secure a place in a columbarium.

FuneralTimes | 9

Irish Association of Funeral Directors Promoting Excellence in Funeral Service

IAFD News

IAFD meets Minister for Health G

erard Clarke, Stephen Collier, John Foley and Colm Kieran met the Minister for Health, Simon Harris, T.D. on 19th October. The meeting formed part of the Board’s initiative to raise the profile of the IAFD. The Minister is Stephen Collier’s local TD and as a result Stephen was able to facilitate the arrangement of the meeting.

A number of interesting topics were discussed, in particular Hospital Deaths (Control of Infectious Diseases). The result in that regard will be further engagement with the Department on this very important subject for our members and funeral directors in general. In addition, future relationships with the Dept. of Health and other Government Departments were discussed, together with the subject of the profile of the IAFD. The Minister was pleased with the IAFD initiative to seek the meeting and offered to be of assistance in a number of different ways, including the provision of points of contact across relevant government ministries.

The meeting was very successful and has the potential of being a significant milestone for the IAFD which should lead to other positive opportunities.

More information will be made available to members as developments occur.

(L-R) John Foley (1st Vice President - IAFD), Simon Harris (Minister for Health), Stephen Collier (Colliers Funeral Directors, Bray), Gerard Clarke (President - IAFD), Colm Kieran (PRO - IAFD) 10 | FuneralTimes

Irish Association of Funeral Directors Promoting Excellence in Funeral Service

IAFD News

Safety Statements for Funeral Directors Through our popular IAFD Health & Safety seminars at regional meeting we have learned that many of our members may not have a safety statement or risk assessment.

Each business in Ireland, including funeral directors, is legally obliged to complete a safety statement which details how the work carried out by the business is managed from a safety perspective.

With this in mind the IAFD have identified a very useful tool which can be used by its members to build their own safety statement in a simple fashion.

BeSMART.ie is a free online tool that will enable members to generate their own safety statement and workplace risk assessments. It will guide them through the entire risk assessment process using simple language and easy-to-follow instructions.

On completion, members will have a

workplace-specific safety statement that can be downloaded, printed and implemented.

Using BeSMART.ie is an easy, effective way to prepare a safety statement. As thousands of businesses have already discovered, BeSMART.ie will help you, our members: • Improve safety • Save money • Save time • Reduce paperwork The website has industry-specific Safety Statement builders and templates specific to funeral directors.

For more information on the Funeral Director Specific Safety Statement Builder go to: https://besmart.ie/risk-assessment/ pending/primary-business-type/?businesstype=Funeral+Director or visit https://www. besmart.ie

Why Join the IAFD? For just a little more than €1cent a day you get: • Professional Indemnity Insurance

• Code of Practice

• Membership of professional organisation recognised by the general public

• Access to IAFD Education Programme • Excellence Programme

• Unique all island network of funeral directors • Representation of members with Government, Local Authorities and Media • Funeral Directors led organisation for promoting and developing standards of funeral service

• Board of Funeral professionals available to assist Members • Dispute Resolution and Mediation • Legal Advisory Service • Links to other trade Associations

Applications for membership of IAFD: Please visit www.iafd.ie and download an Application Form.

FuneralTimes | 11

Irish Association of Funeral Directors Promoting Excellence in Funeral Service

IAFD News

Department of Foreign Affairs - Embalming update

F

ollowing an enquiry from a member who had experienced an issue with the Department of Foreign Affairs regarding the notarisation of an Embalming Certificate, IAFD wrote to the Department on the subject. A reply was received and the following is a summary of the content: • Regarding an embalming certificate issued by an embalmer affiliated to the British Institute of Embalmers (BIE), these certificates have to be notarised by a solicitor or Notary as BIE is not a public body.

• This requirement has been in place for a number of years and applies to all embalming certificates that are not issued by a public body.

• The usual documents routinely produced

by Funeral Directors for authentication as part of the repatriation process for repatriation of a deceased person are either documents issued by the State or Coroners Certificates which are signed by the Coroner and therefore do not have to be authenticated by a solicitor or Notary.

Law Society of Ireland Some time ago IAFD approached the Law Society on behalf of its members regarding the payment of funeral expenses by solicitors and received a number of comments including: • Funeral Directors appear unaware that payment is not a matter for the solicitor to personally sanction but instead a matter for them to facilitate upon the instructions of the Legal Personal Representative(s).

• Solicitors are not responsible for sanctioning or otherwise procuring payment of the Funeral Director’s invoice, but instead are responsible for facilitating the payment upon the expressed authorisation of the Legal Personal Representative who will be required to sign a Payment Authorisation Form and/ or Withdrawal Docket for the financial institution from whom the funds are being drawn.

• Even with a willing LPR and attentive solicitor, the process is still beholden to the financial institution.

Full details of the comments and advices are available in the members only section of the IAFD Website.

IAFD Annual General Meeting

T

he AGM of the Irish Association of Funeral Directors took place on 19th November 2016 in the Glass House Hotel, Sligo followed by the Annual Dinner Dance.

An update will follow in the next issue on the meeting details.

12 | FuneralTimes

Irish Association of Funeral Directors Promoting Excellence in Funeral Service

IAFD News

Gerard Clarke (President) Gerard Clarke & Sons Funeral Home Main Street, Balisodare, Sligo Ph: 071-9130700 Mobile: 087-2565310 Email: gerardclarkeandsons@eircom.net John Foley (First Vice President) Jennings Funeral Directors 81 Amien Street Dublin 1 Ph: 01-8555511 Michael Crowley (Immediate Past President) Crowley Funeral Directors Bothar Saclay, Ballincollig, Co. Cork.

Ph: 021-4874777 Email: info@crowleyfuneraldirectors.ie Mary Cunniffe (Hon. Secretary) Massey Bros Funeral Home Templeogue Village, Dublin 6W Mobile: 085-8010742, Ph: 014-907601 Email: mary.cunniffe@hotmail.com Dermot McCarthy (Treasurer) McCarthy’s Funeral Home Gurrane, Banteer, Cork.

Ph: 029-56044 Email: dermot@mccarthyfuneraldirectors.com Mary O’Shea (Education Committee Chairperson) O’Shea’s Funeral Directors New Street, Killarney.

Ph: 064-6637123 Email: osheatim@eircom.net www.iafd.ie

Colm Kieran (P.R.O.) Kieran Bros. Funeral Directors Kingscourt, Co. Cavan.

Mobile: 087-6218740, Ph: 042-9667309 Email: colmkieran@gmail.com Edwina Fitzgerald Fitzgerald Funeral Directors Channel Road Rush Co. Dublin Ph: 01-8438772 Email: fitzgeraldfuneraldirectors@gmail.com Andre Thompson Thompson Funeral Directors 19 Barrack Street Waterford Co. Waterford Ph: 051-874159 Email: info@thompsonfunerals.ie Robert Fanagan Fanagans 54 Aungier Street Dublin 2 Ph: 01-475-4101 Email: info@fanagans.ie

Irish Association of Funeral Directors Promoting Excellence in Funeral Service

FuneralTimes | 13

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Finlay Update Winter 2016

The new premises

I

t’s been more than two years and eight months since the catastrophic fire of March 2014 which took the life of our colleague and destroyed over thirty thousand square feet of our factory, over a thousand finished coffins, over forty machines and a great deal of raw and work in progress materials.

Since that time we have been quietly working to rebuild our business while operating from three different sites and we are delighted to announce that our new factory at Kells Road, Ardee is now in the final stages of fit out and will come on-line before the end of this year.

For almost eighteen months we have had a team of builders, electricians, plumbers, fitters and others onsite as we change and modernise the five acre site for our needs. For some months I have been working directly at the site which has been very rewarding. Our original factory at

Tierney St. was substantially built by my Grandfather, Father and myself so it was good to be able to put some of my own efforts into the new site.

Our plan, once the factory is ready and our work-plan allows, is to move an initial twenty staff from our production and warehouse operations to the new site with the office and other staff to follow at a later date, with eventual staff numbers at this site potentially increasing to over forty. The scale of the new site will allow us to produce more of both existing and new products more efficiently and more quickly.

We are looking forward to starting 2017 with our new site and on behalf of all of our team at Finlay and myself I would like to thank all those, both in Funeral Service and outside, who have helped and supported us in recent times.

Colman F inlay.

FuneralTimes | 15

Forget me not...

WOULD YOU LIKE MY HELP? There are many things to deal with after the loss of your loved one.

Things such as collecting the Death Notification form from the hospital, hospice, or doctor’s surgery, Registration of your loved one’s death, or collection of ashes, can be hard to do on your own.

From personal experience, I know how hard these things can be. I can be your companion as you face these challenges.

The service I can offer you is to collect you and take you from your home to wherever is necessary to complete these tasks and help you with any difficulties you may encounter.

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Office Address: ACE Enterprise Park, Bawnogue Road, Clondalkin, Dublin 22.

Tel:01 4579 662

Those first few days…

W

e are sure that every funeral director reading this will have come across, perhaps frequently, a situation where one person has been left, seemingly alone, to pick up the pieces after the death of a loved one, and its showing.

No-one should have to face this highly emotive, stressful process of arranging a final goodbye, without a shoulder to lean on.

For various reasons it may be that an elderly spouse for example finds themselves overwhelmed with the responsibility of addressing the necessary bureaucratic tasks such as collecting the death notification form from the hospital and registering the death. Such things, although relatively uncomplicated, can seem daunting when facing them alone, especially at the very time

that ashes are to be collected, or boxes to be packed.

Suzanne Deegan of Forget Me Not, based in Clondalkin, Dublin, strives to be there for those who need a helping hand. Her service includes collecting the bereaved from their home and accompanying them through the various tasks involved in sorting out a loved one’s affairs, with patience, kindness, and support. The utmost confidentiality is assured at all times. Suzanne is more than willing to go that extra mile to meet the needs of those she serves with such care.

Feel free to recommend Forget Me Not to anyone who you feel may need that little but of support. Please contact Suzanne on 085 2848439 or by email on forgetmenotsd123@gmail.com

Wreath Manufacture & Wholesale At Tom Tom Sharkey Sha hark rkey ey & Sons Son onss Ltd. Ltd Lt d

Barrack Street, Ballaghaderreen, Co. Roscommon.

We have an extensive stock ready for delivery or collection including: • Circles of Life • Posies • Sprays • Hearts • Crosses • Cushions • Pillows • Gates of Heaven • Footballs and Jerseys • Posies with Candles • Lettering Wreaths All wreaths are created by fully qualified florists, reflecting contemporary design in floral arrangements. All at very competitive prices Discounts apply on scale of your orders.

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Telephone: +00353 (0)94 986 0658 or email: sales@allseasonsflorists.ie FuneralTimes | 17

Taking a look back with DJ MacNeice They say times flies when you’re having fun. This must be true as here at DJ MacNeice we’ve had a great year that’s flown in, it’s hard to believe we are nearing the end of 2016! As always we’ve continued our long tradition of supplying high quality, competitively priced funeral and mortuary products to funeral directors and embalmers all over the country.

This time of year always makes us reflect on how far the company has come over the years.

Originally based in Dublin city centre, the business moved to its current premises in Glasnevin in 2002. Here we serve as a one stop shop for all your funeral and mortuary supply needs. The door is always open should you wish to pay us a visit, as many customers do. Here you can browse our extensive range of products which include coffin mountings and linings, funeral accessories such as grave markers, traffic cones and condolence books, all the way to cardboard coffins. Our full range of PCS registered embalming chemicals; the first PCS registered embalming chemicals in the country, are displayed in our show room.

This is a must see for any embalmer! As well as embalming chemicals we supply a full range of embalming products such as instruments, personal protective equipment and mortuary airbrush make-up kits. Our fully trained sales team will be on hand should you have any questions regarding any products.

We are constantly updating our product range to bring you the latest innovations in the industry. If there is something we don’t stock that you want we are more than happy to source it for you.

18 | FuneralTimes

If you can’t personally call we have many other ways for you to place an order with us. We are always contactable by phone so you can call in an order anytime. This comes with the benefit of next day delivery so you can be confident you will have the products you need, when you need them. Alternatively, our extensive range of products is available to view on our website.

You can place your quote request through our website and a friendly member of our sales team will contact you about your order.

DJ Mac Neice has a long history in the funeral industry but our aim has always stayed the same - to provide products of the highest quality at a competitive price while delivering excellent customer service.

We would like to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of our customers for their ongoing support and business, it is very much appreciated. We wish you and your families a very Happy Christmas and hopefully we shall speak to you in the New Year.

DJ Mac Neice & Co. Ltd, 37a Barrow Road, Dublin Industrial Estate, Glasnevin, Dublin 11. 01-8828731 sales@djmacneice.com www.djmacneice.com

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‘My Way’ still hits the top of the charts The Co-operative Funeralcare are fascinated by funeral music choices, and have been compiling funeral music charts bi-annually since 2002

T

he 2016 study, based on over 30,000 funerals, reveals the 2016 chart winner as Frank Sinatra’s ‘My Way’.

Frank’s no stranger to the charts and has previously topped the list. 2014 however saw Monty Python’s comical ‘Always look on the bright side of life’ knock him off the top spot.

The full chart and details are available by searching for the #FuneralMusic page - you may just be surprised about what you see!

Other music categories and choices: Part of the study analysed specific genres of music, and spoke to people about what they’d like at their own funeral when the time comes. One interesting revelation was the ever-increasing possibility of the Game of Thrones’ theme song making it into future funeral charts, as 1 in 20 adults opted for it as a song they would consider for their own funeral. Humour was found to be key, with over 42% of those surveyed wishing to ‘raise a laugh’ amongst attendees at their funeral.

1 in 10 said they’d consider having ‘Another one bites the dust’ (Queen) at their own funeral. 1 in 20 said they’d have ‘going underground’ (the Jam) and 1 in 15 said they’d go for ‘Highway to hell’ (ACDC). Others said they’d consider ‘Stayin’ alive’ (The Bee gees) and ‘Disco inferno’ (Trammps).

When looking into specific music genres, new entrants to Contemporary Pop funeral music charts include Wiz Khalifa’s ‘See you again’ dedicated to the late Paul Walker, now placed at number 3, Adele’s ‘Hello’ (from the other side) now placed at number 7 and Rihanna’s ‘Diamonds’ now placed at number 8.

Pop is now the most requested music genre.

Over half (54%) of funeral directors and arrangers stated that hymns are declining in popularity the quickest.

59% of funeral directors and arrangers have had requests for music to be played via digital devices, including smart phones, tablets and laptops, with a further 11% saying they expect to see more of these types of requests in the future.

More than a fifth of people who have actually arranged a funeral say they were given explicit instructions from their loved one on what music they wanted, while almost 30% plan on giving their family a CD with their favourite songs on it.

FuneralTimes | 21

Lifeboat named after Peter Wilcox A

new lifeboat has been stationed in Wells next the Sea, Norfolk in memory of Peter Wilcox Peter Wilcox was an avid supporter of many charities over his lifetime. It was the RNLI however that he consistently supported and wished to leave a bequest for a new lifeboat, the D-797.

As a child, he and his family spent many holidays in Cornwall where he experienced the RNLI in action and he was in awe. Peter visited RNLI lifeboat stations wherever he was in the country and greatly admired the work the volunteers undertook for the rescue and safety of others at sea. Peter had only “discovered” the North Norfolk coast eight years ago, but immediately fell in love with the area and bought a holiday home there.

With many thanks to family, friends and colleagues who generously donated to his charity, the RNLI on his passing, a substantial amount was raised. This has allowed new life jackets to be donated to both Cromer and Sherringham lifeboat stations and along with Peter’s bequest, finally his wish of being a RNLI lifeboat donor has now been fulfilled.

Originally introduced in 1963, the D class has evolved into a highly capable modern lifeboat. It is the workhorse of the RNLI’s fleet and is ideal for working close inshore,

The new Peter Wilcox lifeboat takes to the sea 22 | FuneralTimes

Jayne Wilcox with Lord Leicester near rocks, in caves or in shallow water in moderate conditions. It can be righted by the crew if it capsizes. It has a top speed of 25 Knots and operate up to six miles from the lifeboat station in winds of up to Force 5.

A Naming Ceremony and Service of Dedication took place at Wells next the Sea RNLI lifeboat station on Sunday 9th October at 11am.

More than 200 guests and supporters of the RNLI gathered together to be part of the ceremony, with Peter Wilcox becoming the 12th D-class inshore boat to be stationed at Wells, after being officially named by Peter’s widow Jayne, who poured champagne over the bows, the traditional cracking of a bottle not best suited for an inflatable!

The Rev Neil Woodruff led the service of dedication which also had its lighthearted moments, inluding Fakenham Town Band’s renditions of Satisfaction and Ruby Tuesday in tribute to Mr Wilcox, a big Rolling Stones fan.

Lord Leicester, president of Wells lifeboat, offered a personal vote of thanks at the end of proceedings.

Mrs Wilcox described her immense pride in her late husband who had possessed such admiration for the work the RNLI, so much so as to make clear his wish of gifting a lifeboat to them.

The new lifeboat has already been called into service 11 times since it arrived in July.

More than 200 guests attended the ceremony FuneralTimes | 23

Congratulations!

M

y sincere congratulations to all the attendees who took on the challenge of the 10th Necromorphous Mortuary Cosmetic Course, held at the Brewers Lodge hotel in Blackwood, south Wales on the 4th and 5th July.

The course is intensive and hard work; all credit to everyone for the effort they put into the two days, not to mention the excellent results they all achieved with newly acquired skills and a little guidance. As always there was also much laughter and sharing of knowledge and experiences.

Their dedication to improving their professional standing (CPD) and the services that they can offer to families they are called upon to serve is admirable. I am sure they are all true assets to their respective companies and I wish them all the very best for the future.

Among those who attended: Lorraine Tynan-Walsh MBIE RGN (Registered General Nurse), Violet Hill, Johnstown, Co. Kilkenny, “I was thrilled to be able to attend the Necromorphous Cosmetic Course with Jason King last summer, we learned so much in two days.

It was exhilarating, great fun and very rewarding - I would highly recommend it to enhance ones existing skills.

A former nurse, qualified embalmer for almost 7 years and working as a trade embalmer for a number of funeral directors from mainly Kilkenny, Tipperary and Laois.

Some of those funeral directors I facilitate at my own premises in Johnstown just off the M8 motorway. Those who have their own facility I travel to them.

Occasionally I also collect remains from hospitals in the surrounding areas and embalm in Johnstown. It is a great privilege to be able to provide some comfort to grieving families by presenting their loved one to them in the best possible way.”

Hazel O’Neill. M.B.I.E, Carroll and O’Neill Funeral Directors, Johnstownbridge, Co. Kildare.

Hazel also works as a trade embalmer in her surrounding area.

Mairead Nugent M.B.I.E, Tramore, Co. Waterford. Email:maireadnugent@gmail. com. Works as a trade embalmer in the greater Waterford area.

Maria Fennessy of Fennessy’s Funeral Directors, Clonmel, Co. Tipperary.

For more information on courses and dates visit: www.necromorphous.com

(L-R) Lorraine Tynan-Walsh MBIE, Maria Fennessy ( funeral operative), Nick Armstrong MBIE, Hazel O’Neill MBIE, Jon Hemsley ( funeral operative) and Mairead Nugent MBIE

24 | FuneralTimes

Through our own personal experience we received the inspiration to set up Treasured Keepsakes, to give people a wide variety of options upon a loved one’s passing should they choose to keep a lock of hair, cremated remains, a piece of jewellery, a photograph or anything that is a personal reminder of their loved one in a small keepsake, keepsake pendant or urn.

Funeral directors we are currently working with have tailored our service to suit their needs. We have two options of how our service can work for you.

If you wish you can buy our products from us at a wholesale price and sell them directly to your clients.

Alternatively we can offer this service to your clients directly.

We would hope that by recommending our service we will enhance and add value to your business at no extra cost to you.

For more information contact us or visit our website Tel: 01 825 4579 From NI: 00353 1 825 4579 info@treasuredkeepsakes.ie www.treasuredkeepsakes.ie

BIE News Southern Ireland Division

I

am sure by now you have all received an invitation to our up and coming educational weekend event, to be held in The Maldron Hotel, Dublin Airport on the 26th and 27th November 2016.

Along with our own members, we have extended a warm welcome to IAFD, NAFD, and BIFD members as well as Independent Funeral Directors.

If you have not received an invite yet you still have time, so please W feel free to contact us and book, to join us for this event.

Our organisation promotes a high standard of Embalming and to maintain this we need to provide a high standard of Education T B I E I D to keep up with the new developments in our professional field.

We promise to those attending this weekend you will not be 1st Annual Educational Weekend disappointed.

On the Saturday night we will be having a dinner and social event, and all attending are also invited to stay and join us for the evening. we look forward to seeing you all there. e hope that you can join us at this event and we encourage BIE Members/Students along with members from our Kindred Associations IAFD, NAFD and BIFD and Independent Funeral Directors.

We have, as you can see by our Guest list of speakers, put together a fantastic line up of Educational speakers to benefit both Embalmers and Funeral Directors and to give each other an insight into the difficulties that can arise and also the new options that are available.

BENEFITS OF ATTENDING 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Gain more confidence when dealing with families.

Be aware of your own health in the work place.

Gain CPD hours (John Hawe will be signing off on these hours at the end of the event).

Networking.

9.

Enjoy a meal and evening entertainment.

6.

RITISH NSTITUTE OF MBALMER S RISH IVISION ∞∞∞∞∞∞

Give an understanding when dealing with difficult cases.

Realise the new innovative options for families with burial and cremation.

8.

7.

HE

High standard for education.

Embalmers/Funeral Directors be aware of the new advances in both professions.

The British Institute of Embalmers Irish Division, look forward to welcoming you all.

∞∞∞∞∞∞

Maldron Dublin Airport Hotel Saturday 26th & Sunday 27th November 2016

…your invitation

Kind Regards

Barbara Fowely MBIE 1st National Vice President.

Northern Ireland Division

T

he 3rd Quarterly Meeting of the Devices. This included how they are BIE Northern Ireland Division implanted, issues surrounding post took place on Wednesday 21st mortem care, and embalming.

September 2016 in O’Neills Funeral The meeting was followed by a Home, Belfast. light supper. The Division wish to There was a good attendance, thank O’Neill’s Funeral Home for including eight students. Trudy their hospitality on the evening in Stanfield, a Senior Environmental providing their premises and a very Health Officer from Belfast City generous supper for Members.

Council, delivered a very interesting Chairman The AGM will be held on session on Health and Safety in Wednesday 11th January 2017 in Funeral Services.

Ravenhill Funeral Service, 334 Kyle Ashfield, a Cardiac Physiologist in Ravenhill Road, Belfast. BT6 8GL. the Belfast Health and Social Care Trust, I hope everyone has a great Christmas and delivered an in depth presentation on New Year. cardiac devices including Loop Recorders, Pacemakers, Implantable Cardioverter Defibrillators and the Medtronic Micra

26 | FuneralTimes

List of BIE Officers and appointed representatives for 2015/2016 National President: Gwen Schofield Imm. Past President: Mr Craig Caldwell (North American Division) National PRO & National General Secretary: Mrs Karen Caney FBIE White Meadow Cottage, Brailsford, Derby DE6 3DA Tel: 01332 349035(BIE) Mobile: 07786 432014 karencaney@btopenworld.com National Treasurer: Michael Liddle MBIE 10 Yew Tree Close, Silsoe MK45 4EQ Business Tel: 01582 490005 Home Tel: 01525 860117 michael@silsloe.wanadoo.co.uk Editor: Gwen Schofield MBIE 9 Seymour Walk, Meltham, Holmfirth HD9 4BP Home Tel: 01484 851994 Mobile: 07778 279100 gwen.schofield@ntlworld.com Master Fellow: Ken Morgan FBIE “Evergreens”, 36 Coley Road, Little Haywood, Stafford ST18 0UW Home Tel: 01889 881223 Business Tel: 01902 878425 Mobile: 07970 831760 k.m.morgan@virgin.net Student Liaison Officer: Timothy Cain MBIE Hillcrest, 38 Main Street, Ashby de la Launde LN4 3JG Home Tel: 01526 321396 jackie@lymn.co.uk

IRISH DIVISION Chairperson: Mr John Hawe MBIE 12 Meadow Vale, Smith’s Road, Charleville, Co. Cork Home Tel: 00353 6389280 Mobile: 087 6390087 jmhawe@eircom.net 2nd National Council Representative and Past Chairperson: Mr Aidan Walsh MBIE Cappoquin, Co. Waterford Mobile: 00353 87 2847831 1st National Council Rep: Barbara Fowley MBIE Cruagh Lane Killakee Rathfarnham Dublin 16 Mobile: 086-1911022 / 087-0909273 Barbarafowley@yahoo.ie Secretary: Susan Moran MBIE Maydown House, Aughraboura, Athy, Co. Kildare Mobile: 086 0619500 Moransfuneralservices@gmail.com National Education Representative: Glyn Tallon Mortuary Specialist 14 Academy Street Navan Co Meath Tel:046 9029134 Mobile: 086 826 8876 Treasurer: Mrs A O’Reilly MBIE Church Street, Newmarket, Co. Cork Telephone: 029 60142 annaoreilly4@hotmail.com

NORTHERN IRELAND DIVISION Chairman Michael Og McKiernan MBIE 51 Agivey Road, Kilrea, Co. Londonderry BT51 5UU Mobile: 07515 746541 Michael-ogmckiernan@hotmail.co.uk Vice Chairman Laurence O'Neill 98 Stewartstown Road Belfast BT11 9JP Tele: 028 90 620099 Email: oneill8210@hotmail.com Secretary Margaret Davis MBIE 4 Back Road, Cargycreevy, Lisburn BT27 6TL Mobile: 07841 100249 Margaretdavis4@me.com Treasurer Andrew McMullan MBIE 22 High Street, Ballymoney, Co. Antrim BT53 6AQ Andrew@mcmullanfuneral.com 1st National Council Representative Ellison Sloan MBIE Telephone: 02838 336175 poots@fsni.info 2nd National Council Representative Marshall Lindsay MBIE 4 Beechgrove, Kilrea, Coleraine, Co. Londonderry BT51 5RW Telephone: 028 29 540945 marshalllindsay4@gmail.com 1st National Educational Committee Representative Pat Harley MBIE 67 Creggan Road, Londonderry BT48 9DA Mobile: 077128 99137 Phschoolofembalming@hotmail.com

Vice Chairman: Mr Ger O’Sullivan MBIE Mobile: 086 021 5075

FuneralTimes | 27

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Handling decomposition

By Karl Wenzel, CFSP, MBIE

A

s embalmers, if we take a moment to stand back and think of the last severe decomposition case we saw and then think about the process of decomposition, it really is amazing how the body changes, how quickly we can go from a recognizable individual to an unrecognizable mass of decomposing tissue.

There are so many variable factors that either speed up or slow down the decomposition process. The four main factors that set the pace for decay are temperature, water, exposure to oxygen, and acidity or alkalinity. It’s all fascinating and worth a little research to learn more.

As funeral directors and embalmers, we are often asked, “Is viewing possible?” It can be a tough decision that we often too quickly respond to with a “no” answer. Let’s face it, no one, not even the most seasoned funeral director or embalmer, likes to open the body bag and see a heavily decomposed body. The fact is you don’t even have to get that far to know what’s inside. Your nose will tell the whole story long beforehand, and usually from the next room. The visual evidence just solidifies what your brain already knows.

Most decomposed bodies I have seen are several days old, some a week or two, maybe three, and a few even longer than that. So let’s look into what we know. There are, depending on what journal or textbook you look into, generally four stages of decomposition. The fresh stage is between 1 - 6 days deceased, the bloat stage is 7 - 23 days, the active decay stage is 24 - 50 days, and the dry stage is 51 - 64 days deceased.

We know that the environmental 32 | FuneralTimes

Karl is the Coordinator of Technical Education and Training for Dodge as of September 2013. He worked for the Arbor Group (largest independent funeral service chain in Canada) for six years as their Manager of Decedent Care and Preparational Development. Karl has been a licensed embalmer since 1997 and is licensed in Ontario. He is the Fountain National Academy Canadian Ambassador.

surroundings of the location of death can determine the rate of decomposition. A hot, humid surrounding is far more detrimental than a cool, dry area. A death in a deep, cool body of water such as a lake slows down the process of decomposition because of the surrounding environment. We know that other than drowning cases and some bodies that aren’t found for some time, we mainly see cases of individuals who have died unnoticed at their place of residence.

In more cases than not it’s an individual living alone with no one checking on them for days at a time. Discovery usually comes from a neighbour who has noticed a foul odour coming from the residence, followed by a “welfare check” by the local police. By the time the funeral home gets the remains we may be looking at another day or two, depending on the local coroner and whether an autopsy was performed or not. We are looking at a time frame between 5 – 12 days since death. That puts us at the end of the fresh stage and right in the middle of the most difficult stage for an embalmer, the dreaded “bloat stage.” The bloat stage is by far the most unpleasant due to the odour and the sloughing of soft tissue as the nutrient rich fluids within the body feed the massive army of microbes. Numerous gases like methane, hydrogen sulphide, ammonia, and carbon dioxide distend the remains to an unrecognizable appearance.

Insect and bug activity can be extensive.

There is nothing pleasant about it. So what if the family wishes to view? Have you ever tackled the serious decomposition case?

Several weeks ago I did just that. I have completed several such cases over my years but mainly for odour control. This one was a little different. The case was an older white woman who had died unnoticed in her home. She was the matriarch of a rather large family. Although her death was not a complete shock to the family, as her health was not good, the shock of what the police and coroner’s office described to them was.

The guilt within that family was painful.

With the busy lives we all have in today’s world, no one checked in to make sure mom was well. When the coroner described her condition and said that viewing was not possible it was a blow to the entire family.

They estimated her death was seven days prior to her discovery. Being in the middle of a hot summer, that was not a favourable timeline.

When the director met with the family they were insistent that they needed to see their mother. They described to the funeral director what the coroner told them but they were still in denial. They went into the story of the woman’s life and said she was the glue that held the family together over the years and how important it was to them to say goodbye. They were a traditional family with high family values and that made it harder for them that they couldn’t see her.

The funeral director explained that cases like this were very difficult and that although they could make no promises they would try their best.

I find that part of this story concerning, as the director was not the one handling the remains nor had he even seen them. His only part in dealing with the remains this is a disconnect between the funeral director and the embalmer in the backroom that

happens all too often. Unfortunately, this can give the family false expectations and set the funeral home up for failure in the eyes of that family.

When the remains came in via a transfer service we knew as soon as the driver opened his van doors that it was not good. His first comment was, “I have a bad one for you.” Like we didn’t already know from the odour that floated in our direction as he approached us.

In the preparation room we opened the body bag to find the remains in full bloat. Flies and maggots covered her neck and face, and she had purged due to the abdominal pressure of the gases. Her skin was blackening and slipping away. The visible signs of “road mapping” across her chest and shoulders was a sign that tissue gas was prevalent. Her white hair was matted down with bodily fluids. The facial features were distended with the tongue protruding and the eyes swollen over. The entire body was double the normal size. The odour was extensive. It was case that some senior embalmers would pass off to the apprentice “to learn from.” However, on this day all of us were going to work together and embalm and restore this lady for viewing or, at the very least, successful identification.

Unshrouding was a two-person job, as the skin was wet and sliding off with the slightest touch. We were fortunate that the coroner’s office had removed all her clothing previously, but unfortunate that they did not perform an autopsy. An autopsy would have released abdominal gases and prevented a lot of the distension we were now seeing in the facial area. After we removed the remains from the body bag, our next issue was keeping her towards the top of the table.

FuneralTimes | 33

Her body was so slippery from decomposing flesh that she would slide downwards with any incline of the table. We sprayed a heavy application of Dis-Spray over the entire body and table. I think the young apprentice used almost the whole 16 oz. bottle as he was determined to disinfect! We also used a liberal amount of Neutrolene Spray over the entire work area and body. Neutrolene aids in killing the odour of decomposition.

With the exhaust fans in overdrive and all of us in our full PPE, we went to work. The first task was to kill the maggots and the odd beetle we saw on the remains. There was extensive infestation on the neck and face. We covered the infested areas with Webril Prep Towel and poured Dry Wash II on it, saturating the prep towel. Dry Wash II will eat the waxy coating on a maggot and kill it. It also seemed to work on the beetles, perhaps by suffocation. There were numerous flies that we killed as well. In addition, we packed all orifices with Webril and also saturated with Dry Wash II. This was to make sure anything hiding in the orifices (nose, mouth, etc.) didn’t survive.

Next I created a rather large “Y” incision in the neck. This was to allow the raising of the vessels on both sides of the neck for our injection of chemicals into the head, but also to allow the release of any gases built up in the area. While I was doing this another embalmer was cleaning off the loose skin by gently rubbing the surface of the remains.

This loose tissue needed to be removed so we could treat the underlying dermis and dry the tissue. This took time, as we had to make sure that the loose skin did not go into the drain, as it would most likely plug it up. Once we had the body cleaned of what loose skin was easily removed we sprayed it again with Dis-Spray and Neutrolene. The facial features could not be set as they were too heavily distended, so we jumped right into our first injection. Our first injection was to the body via the right common carotid. We left the left carotid alone at this point, as any chemicals we could introduce throughout were favourable to us. That first mix was a waterless mix using 48 oz. of Metaflow, 48 oz. of Rectifiant, 32 oz. of 34 | FuneralTimes

Dis-Spray, and 64 oz. of Introfiant. It was an extra strong solution, but this was an extra difficult situation. Injection took place at 160lbs with a very slow 8 – 10 oz. per minute pulsating. Expect some distension and swelling when doing these types of cases. The cells are breaking down and easily ruptured. As this first injection was being introduced into the body we needed to continue further treating other areas.

Using a 15-gauge needle and some Dri Cav (Perma Cav 50 is preferred) we injected the scalp around the hair follicles to hold onto the roots of the hair and prevent hair loss.

The strong formaldehyde content will firm up that tissue, grabbing a hold of the hair.

The swollen abdominal cavity was massive and needed to be relieved of its gases to prevent any unnecessary intrinsic pressure on the circulatory system restricting the distribution of our chemicals. Using an infant trocar we punctured the abdominal wall. We took care not to go too deep and disrupt the circulatory system. You can puncture the stomach and transverse colon as well, relieving pressure.

What a lot of people don’t know is these gases that form are highly flammable. By puncturing the abdominal wall you release them. As we know the odour is extensive.

Our second injection was waterless and consisted of 32 oz. of Rectifiant, 32 oz. of Metaflow, 24 oz. of Dis-Spray, and 40 oz. of Introfiant. We injected this into the head and the legs. As this injection took place we could see an immediate change in the colour of the face. The skin was still black but we could see the Introfiant colour appear in some areas. While we injected the head we used heavy manual pressure in the face to force the gases out. A 15-gauge needle was pushed back behind the eyes as well as into the eyelids and the lips, and inside the mouth to allow an escape route for these gases. I wasn’t too worried about swelling as I expected some, but I was aiming to treat and rid the body of the gases.

A minimum 8% formaldehyde solution will kill the clostridium perfringens that create tissue gases. I was amazed at how the chemicals, combined with the manual

manipulation of the tissues, reduced and dried the tissue of the face. We were on the right path. We knew a six-point injection was inevitable.

For our third injection we injected an additional 32oz. of Metaflow, 32 oz. of Rectifiant, 16 oz. of Dis-Spray, and 40 oz. of Introfiant into the arms and other areas of concern. When we had completed our arterial injection we had overall great results. There was a significant change in the condition of the tissue of the body and we could see the gases had dissipated enormously, making the facial and body structure more recognizable. Colour was still an issue as the skin was still very dark but did bleach out a degree from where it was at the beginning.

This is when we took our injection to a different level. With the condition of the remains still not acceptable in terms of dryness and colour, and with the fear that gases might still form within, I completed an arterial injection of 80 oz. of Basic Dryene. Now, I must advise everyone DO NOT use your Dodge Embalming Machine for this. The phenol will absolutely “kill” your machine and void all warranties.

Knowing this I used a weed sprayer I collected from the garage of the funeral home. I took the weed sprayer and attached an arterial tube to the end of the nozzle. It took a little modifying but it was easy to accomplish. Because the weed sprayer is a very uncontrolled injection method, and the rate of flow is unknown (although perceived to be high), I used gentle, short bursts so I didn’t “flood” the vasculatory system and cause unnecessary swelling. I did this to all six injection sites. Interestingly enough, when I injected the head with the Basic Dryene I could immediately see a difference in the colour and dryness of the facial tissue.

The corner of the eyes began to bubble as the gases escaped from the holes we made earlier with our needle. Following our special injection we went for lunch, allowing the phenol in the Basic Dryene to really penetrate the tissue under pressure.

Upon our return we aspirated and closed our incisions. For our cavity injection we

used 48 oz. of Basic Dryene to substitute for cavity chemical. I really wanted to make sure we rid the body of gases and prevented any more from creating. (Note -The following day before dressing we aspirated the remains and injected 32oz. of Dri Cav.) In addition to our arterial injection, we also hypo-injected Basic Dryene into all areas of the face and we made an injection ring around the neck, hands, and legs to prevent any bacteria causing gassing from migrating back into these areas. In total, 37 bottles of chemicals were used in the embalming. This is a significant amount but it was necessary in order to slow down the decomposition and dry the tissue for our restorative work.

There was one final step before we called it a day. We cleaned the mouth and nose of our previously packed Webril and wiped the area with Dis-Spray. The eyes, lips and tongue had now been cleared of any gases so we were able to set the features. We washed the remains again using Forest Fresh soap and dried and sprayed the body down again with more Dis- Spray and Neutrolene. Then we made up a batch of “Super Gel,” which consists of Basic Dryene mixed with Syn Gel HV, and we painted the entire face and body, and then covered the remains with plastic for the night. The next day we were all taken by surprise when we entered the preparation room. The remains still had a slight odour but nothing like the day before. The tissue was dry and the facial area was bleached almost white. Sure there were areas that hadn’t changed much in colour, but the face looked great.

Before dressing, we removed the “Super Gel” and transferred the body to another table making sure we did not “slide” the remains which could transfer potential contaminants that might create odour.

Using fresh gloves, we laid out a pair of unionalls and carefully placed the remains inside. Inside those unionalls we placed some Action Powder along with some prep towels sprayed down with Neutrolene to combat any remaining odours. We used a second pair of unionalls, again carefully placing the remains inside. Some more deodorants were placed inside. We dressed FuneralTimes | 35

the remains in the clothing provided and we casketed her.

The big task now was to restore and cosmetize. Even though she looked a thousand times better than what we started with, we still had some work to do to make her presentable. We all know that cosmetics can cover just about anything and with good waxing techniques other imperfections can easily be hidden. When we completed our tasks, we had this women looking very good.

All of us were amazed at how this all came together. This woman certainly resembled the photo provided to us. Sure there were heavier cosmetics than any of us would have liked but considering the condition of her remains, it was understandable.

Before we set her up for visitation and the first family viewing, we placed some more Webril soaked in the Neutrolene inside the casket. We also placed Neutrolene around the visitation room to mask any odours that might still be present. We explained to the family that deodorants were used and they fully understood. If you have never smelled

this product, it is pleasant, however, it can be overpowering so you need to monitor how much you use.

The family viewed their mother that evening. They were more than pleased and were appreciative of what we accomplished, considering the horror stories the coroner had described to them. Despite the odds, in the end we succeeded in giving the family back their mother. It wasn’t a pleasant task, that’s for sure, but we have the resources to do these decomposition cases. Think back to that one decomposition case you said “no� to. I’m just saying, “You will never know unless you try.�

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St Patrick’s cuts morning Mass to facilitate funerals

S

t Patrick’s Church on Donegall Street, Belfast, is set to lose its daily 10.00am morning Mass on a permanent basis, citing the growing demands placed upon priests in North Belfast.

The weekday morning Mass had been suspended through the summer months, however the Donegall Street Parish has confirmed that this will not re-commence in September, as originally intended.

Such a move will allow funerals to be celebrated ‘in the morning at a mutually convenient time for priests and bereaved families’. St Patrick’s will be left with just the one daily Mass during the week, held at 1.00pm. Saturday and Sunday Mass times will not be affected.

Under the pastoral areas scheme, it is intended that priests will help out in different parishes within their area; St Patrick’s is part of the north Belfast Pastoral Area, which also takes in Holy Cross, Holy Family, Sacred Heart and St Vincent De Paul.

New delivery for FG McFarland George McFarland of FG McFarland & Sons, Funeral Directors, Kesh, Co Fermanagh has upgraded his hearse with a Vauxhall Statesman supplied by Fearghas Quinn Hearse and Limousines, Portglenone.

George would like to thank Fearghas for all his help and guidance with this matter 40 | FuneralTimes

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Adver

DARDISTOWN CREMATORIUM

Glasnevin Trust’s third crematorium in Dublin will be located in Dardistown cemetery, Cloghran, County Dublin, beside Dublin Airport. It will be a non-denominational facility which will offer an alternative to traditional burial.

Dignity & Respect

Designed by the award winning Wejchert Architects, the crematorium will comprise of two congregation spaces, each holding 150 people. In the event of a larger service, the two spaces can be merged into one.

The new crematorium is one of the most environmentally friendly in the country. All of the Glasnevin Trust Cemeteries and Crematoria are non-denominational in keeping with our mission to bury and cremate people of all religions and no religion with dignity and respect.

Dardistown crematorium will operate six days a week, 8am to 5pm, with evening services also available by arrangement, providing a much needed service for Dublin city, the greater North Dublin area, County Dublin, Louth, Meath and Cavan. The new crematorium will offer a peaceful and tranquil environment for the people to visit and pay their respects to their loved ones.

GLASNEVIN TRUST GL

rtorial

SOME FREQUENT QUESTIONS ON CREMATION How is a Cremation Arranged Contact us directly to discuss your requirements as soon as possible following the passing of your loved one. Your funeral director will assist you in ensuring that all the required forms are completed, liaising with our staff and medical referee who has the authority to sign the papers for cremation.

Music at a service Music can be played at all services. Families can provide their own music of choice. The first piece is played as the coffin is carried into the chapel or temple and the second piece at the committal.

There are no restrictions as to the type of music played. Please inform the celebrant conducting the service of the music pieces to be played. Screens are available in Newlands Cross and Dardistown, if you wish to celebrate the life of the deceased through images/video.

How can I make my wishes for cremation known?

Inform your family or leave instructions with your solicitor as part of your will. Contact your funeral director to discuss pre-arrangements for cremation.

This will help you with ensuring that all your wishes are incorporated into the funeral service for your loved one.

What happens at the crematorium?

On arrival, family members may wish to carry the coffin into the chapel or temple. The coffin is placed on the catafalque and the family will be directed to their seats after which the service will proceed.

Following the service, the cremation takes place in the adjoining area of the crematorium building. The ashes of your loved one will be available to collect generally within 48 hours. An appointment should be made with the crematorium to arrange the collection of the cremated remains. If you wish to be present at the cremation, a special viewing room is available to facilitate this.

Following your cremation We would advise you to contact the crematorium to arrange an appointment to discuss the options available to you on the collection of remains. The choice of urn will be dictated by the final resting place of the ashes. Family need to collect ashes in person and ID is required.

WAYS TO REMEMBER Memorials, Urns, Caskets & Keepsakes For those who wish to keep ashes in decorative urns, caskets or keepsakes, Glasnevin Trust has an exclusive selection available to purchase from our cemetery offices at Glasnevin, Newlands Cross and Dardistown. it is important to select the urn in advance of cremation.

Columbarium Wall The columbarium allows the placing of remains into niches, each with a front section incorporating a memorial plaque.

Families may visit to choose a niche which best suits them, our experienced staff will help you make the selection.

At the time of cremation it is possible to reserve spaces in the Columbarium Wall alongside for other family members.

Garden of Remembrance The Garden of Remembrance is designed to reflect miniature burial grounds where remains are interred in ground vaults. At the time of cremation it is possible to reserve spaces alongside for future use by other family members.

The Water Urn: “a natural return to nature..�

With the water urn you can choose to give your memories a place in your life. Placed discretely where you prefer, either in the cemetery or in your own home, this urn releases the ashes gradually back into the earth. The ashes of your loved one are placed inside the urn. The urn catches the rain water which then comes in contact with the ashes. The patented system allows the ashes to be gradually released into the groundwater. The water urn can accommodate the ashes of two deceased loved ones and the process is only triggered when you want it to begin. A special inscription on the urn can be arranged according to your wishes.

Jewellery If families wish to retain small portions of ashes or divide them between different family members there are options available of small keepsake urns or if some family members prefer some jewellery options, they are also available in our selection.

DARDISTOWN CREMATORIUM

Collinstown Cross, Old Airport Road, Cloghran, Co. Dublin Cemetery and Crematorium Manager: Derek Donohue Ph: 01 8424677 Fax 01 8424294 Email: dardistowncrematorium@glasnevintrust.ie

A new delivery from Fearghas Quinn Frank Barret, Manchester collects the latest addition to his already impressive fleet from R. Gibney of Gibneys of Oldcastle Funeral Directors, collects his new hearse from Fearghas Fearghas Quinn Hearse & Limousines Quinn Hearse and Limousines.

New insignia for Kevin Kyne R. Gibney of Gibneys of Oldcastle Funeral Directors, collects his new hearse from Fearghas QuinnKyne, HearseMoycullen and Limousines.

Kevin with his new insignia from Fearghas Quinn Hearse & Limousines 44 | FuneralTimes

CODE OF PROFESSIONAL CONDUCT Commitment to the Family CODE OF PROFESSIONAL CONDUCT Commitment to the Family

To serve each family in a professional and caring manner, being respectful to their Wishes and confidences and being honest and fair in all dealings with them.

Commitment to the Care of the Deceased

To care for each deceased person with the highest respect and dignity and to transport, prepare and shelter the remains in a professional, caring and conscientious manner.

Commitment to the Public

To offer services in accordance with the highest principles of honesty, fair dealing and professionalism.

Commitment to the Government

To maintain strict compliance with the letter and spirit of all governmental laws and regulations that impact the deceased, the bereaved family, the embalming profession and the public health.

Commitment to the PEAI

To promote, participate and support the Professional Embalmers’ Association of Ireland in its mission to help all members enhance the quality of the embalming service to families.

To serve each family in a professional and caring manner, being respectful to their Wishes and confidences and being honest and fair in all dealings with them.

Commitment to the Care of the Deceased To care for each deceased person with the highest respect and dignity and to transport, prepare and shelter the remains in a professional, caring and conscientious manner.

Commitment to the Public To offer services in accordance with the highest principles of honesty, fair dealing and professionalism.

Commitment to the Government To maintain strict compliance with the letter and spirit of all governmental laws and regulations that impact the deceased, the bereaved family, the embalming profession and the public health.

Commitment to the PEAI To promote, participate and support the Professional Embalmers’ Association of Ireland in its mission to help all members enhance the quality of the embalming service to families.

FuneralTimes | 45

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NAFD News The UK’s reluctance to save for the future leaves families facing funding gap for funerals The release of the second Funeral Costs Index report by Royal London in October revealed that, as a result of the reluctance by Britons to plan ahead for the inevitable, an increasing number of people are having to borrow money to pay for a funeral, despite the fact that many UK funeral firms are holding, and in some cases reducing, their prices.

M

andie Lavin, Chief Executive Officer of the National Association of Funeral Directors said: “It was concerning to discover recently, from the Money Advice Service, that more than 40% of working age Britons have less than £100 in savings to cover any unexpected expense in life, let alone a funeral – Britons have stopped putting aside money for a ‘rainy day’. The propensity to save was not necessarily related to income levels with a greater proportion (23%) of those surveyed who earned £13,500 or less having £1,000 or more saved.

“Equally worrying was news from research

by YouGov2 which revealed that, for almost one in five British adults, there was absolutely nothing that would prompt them to think ahead to their own funeral.

“Even the simplest, direct cremation would still incur the standard council cremation fee (UK average £700), doctors’ fees (£164) and the cost of both a coffin and the collection and transfer of the body to the crematorium. This means that with millions of Britons, even those on larger incomes, having less than £100 in the bank, it’s clear that a significant proportion of British

adults will find themselves having to borrow money in the future to cover the costs of a funeral of a loved one.

“It is, therefore, perhaps no surprise that increasing numbers of people are putting the cost of a funeral on a credit card, using their overdraft, or taking out a loan. Arguably it’s no different to what we do for many other expenses in life – from sofas and holidays to buying a new boiler – sometimes even if we do have savings; so why not funerals?

She concluded: “It’s also important to note that a significant number within the 15% of people in Royal London’s figures that said they did not have savings to cover the cost of a funeral, is the 10-12% of Britons on the lowest incomes for whom any unplanned expense in life is simply beyond their means. Sadly, the Government’s existing bereavement benefit, the Social Fund funeral payment, is failing to support those who need it most with an overly complex application process, less than 50% success rate for applicants, and a payment to cover the funeral costs that has remained unchanged, at £700, for more than thirteen years.”

FuneralTimes | 49

The NAFD welcomes a new statutory definition of ashes In July, the National Association of Funeral Directors welcomed the Ministry of Justice response to the Cremation Regulations consultation and, in particular, the recommendation of a new statutory definition of ashes, as well as amendments to statutory cremation forms which will make sure that applicants’ wishes are explicit and clearly recorded before a cremation takes place.

Both of these recommendations were central in the NAFD’s response to the consultation as they will help to ensure both high standards and clear communication for bereaved families.

The NAFD is particularly pleased to see our suggestion of non-statutory Codes of Practice for Crematoria, together with training for all agencies involved with them, has been adopted by the Government.

However, the Association remains unconvinced that a National Inspector of Crematoria would offer the best framework within which to deliver these reforms

and would result in additional red tape for bereaved families to contend with at a difficult time in their lives. Furthermore, the cost of appointing and maintaining an inspector will inevitably be passed on to bereaved families at a time of increased scrutiny of the affordability of funeral costs.

Funeral directors have a very important role to play in helping families after the loss of someone close to them and in ensuring they understand their choices and what is happening to their loved one. The Association will be pleased to play a part in the new National Cremation Working Group, to ensure the needs of bereaved families, and the funeral directors who support them, remain at the forefront of policy making. The NAFD looks forward to collaborating with Government, cremation codes and consumer organisations to ensure this new working group is proactive and delivers meaningful outcomes.

The NAFD welcomes Westminster Social Fund debate but remains concerned at Government reluctance to reform benefits The National Association of Funeral Directors attended the debate on the Government’s Social Fund Funeral Payment in Westminster Hall in September.

It was extremely encouraging to see MPs from across the UK debating this nationwide issue and we would like to thank Gavin Robinson MP (East Belfast) for calling the debate. It attracted a greater number of MPs than on previous occasions, a sign that parliamentarians are heeding the calls of the funeral profession and organisations such as Quaker Social Action and Cruse Bereavement 50 | FuneralTimes

Care that this issue is growing in importance in communities across the UK. There was much to be positive about in the statement by Caroline Nokes MP, Parliamentary Under-Secretary of State for the Department for Work and Pensions, during the debate, particularly her commitment to work with all parties to address this issue. She also showed understanding that a dominant factor driving up the cost of a funeral were those third party charges (such as burial and cremation fees) that are outside a funeral directors control. We also welcome the Minister’s

comments that she wants to “work with the industry rather than dictate prices” and the NAFD remains committed to playing its part in helping the DWP find a solution to support and help the 10—12% of Britons for whom any major unexpected expense in life, including an unplanned funeral, would be impossible to meet.

A key concern of the NAFD remains the inadequacy of the funeral expenses payment which has remained a pitiful £700 for thirteen years and has to cover almost everything relating to the funeral, including the coffin, flowers, celebrant or minister’s fees and the services of the funeral director in making all of the arrangements. The current payment is no real help to the bereaved people who need it and no compensation to the funeral directors who end up providing their support, services and facilities, effectively for free. More than 90% of our members are small independent businesses and they are already plugging the growing gaps in government support for the poor, often taking on unsustainable levels of debt as a result. It was particularly concerning that the Minister pointed to it being the most generous arrangement in Europe aside from Norway which shows a lack of understanding of alternative systems used across Europe that are very different to the Social Fund model.

However, the NAFD was encouraged that Mr Robinson and other MPs echoed our calls for it to be reviewed and at least index-linked as a first step to fairness and we hope to see the Government take this call seriously.

It was also disappointing to hear that the Minister seemed unwilling to improve the mechanism for applying for a Funeral Payment to include a free online eligibility checker. The current system grinds painfully slowly with funerals almost always taking place before families know if their application is successful, leaving funeral directors to carry the financial risk. We believe that there should be a simple online eligibility checking process which will

help to avoid the current system where families are left in limbo and funeral directors often left in debt.

However, the NAFD was encouraged to hear Ms. Nokes acknowledge that bereaved families often prefer to talk to someone when arranging a funeral. Whilst there is certainly more that the funeral profession can do to make information accessible, whether that be online or on paper, in our experience families almost always prefer to have a conversation. For the funeral director this enables them to respect each family’s wishes and work within their constraints – financial or otherwise. However, to support this, Ms. Nokes also called for all funeral directors to offer pricing information to take away. Given that the NAFD already requires its members to provide transparent price lists, the Minister’s statement serves to emphasize the importance of choosing a reputable funeral director that is a member of a recognised trade association and therefore bound by its rules.

At a time when Government support for bereaved families is falling, with Social Fund payments down in both value and volume in the past year, we hope that this debate helps to engender real action within Government and look forward to the next steps by Ms. Nokes and her team.

To support bereaved families and the funeral directors who care for them, the NAFD will continue to campaign with Government for four simple steps to fairness: A long overdue increase in the £700 cap on “other funeral expenses” which has been in place since 2003 and covers almost everything relating to the funeral including the coffin, flowers, celebrant or minister’s fees and the services of the funeral director in making all of the arrangements.

A system that works better for bereaved families including a shorter and less complex application system, with clear eligibility criteria which would speed up decision making and an early indication of likely success to avoid

A system that works better for bereaved families including a shorter and less complex application system, with clear eligibility criteria

FuneralTimes | 51

uncertainty, which is key to ensuring the funeral can proceed without undue delay and distress to the family, which is so often the case at present.

A cap on what the Government pays to local authorities for their burial plots and cremation slots (referred to as disbursements or third party costs). Allowing these to remain uncapped – despite the often rapid rate of annual increases to these fees – is a major issue skewing the Social Fund’s ability to be effective.

Better signposting of bereavement benefits to vulnerable families by Social Services and other government bodies.

In return, the Association reaffirmed its commitment to helping create a nationwide framework for a simple funeral – which makes it easy to compare costs between funeral directors for those people for whom price is a key concern and is flexible enough to accommodate regional variations in needs and costs.

The NAFD represents funeral directors in Holyrood roundtable on funeral affordability

I

n October, Paul Cuthell, of Central Scotland-based funeral directors Thomas Cuthell & Sons and a representative of the NAFD in Scotland, made a presentation to representatives of the Working Group on Funeral Poverty in Scotland, chaired by Angela Constance, Cabinet Secretary for Communities, Social Security and Equalities, at which he laid out the Association’s vision for the reform of the funeral payment scheme.

During one of a series of round table events to discuss funeral poverty in relation to social security reforms being assessed under new devolution powers, the NAFD told the Minister that the current system was overcomplicated, archaic, and left the public in a state of confusion at their most vulnerable time.

His representations were made after consultation and agreement with SAIF to ensure the funeral profession spoke to the Scottish Government with a unified voice.

It highlighted, again, how the NAFD is working closely with Government to help shape policy and protect the interests of its members and the bereaved. The NAFD is campaigning for changes to bereavement benefits in both Holyrood and Westminster and it is likely that ministers in England will watch what happens in Scotland very closely.

As a devolved issue, a new bereavement benefits system or Scottish funeral bond will be created from this process which is likely

52 | FuneralTimes

to inform any future review of the Social Fund funeral payment in Westminster.

The Association once more underlined its call for pre-eligibility checks to be available so that people have a clear indication as to whether they would qualify for a funeral payment, which would not only help protect funeral directors from incurring bad debt, but also bereaved families so they knew where they stood and what funeral they could afford.

In the presentation, Mr Cuthell echoed the Association’s four steps to fairness that were highlighted in the Westminster Hall debate and also addressed the issue of visible pricing. He added that the Association is encouraging members to include an element of pricing online so that it is easy for people to find when researching a funeral and said that 25% of NAFD member funeral homes now have pricing information online and a further 19% intend to do so within the next two years, meaning that nearly half of UK funeral directors will have pricing online by 2018. The NAFD’s aim is that all Scottish funeral homes in the membership of our Association – will have some form of pricing on their website by 2020.

During the meeting, the NAFD also addressed issues such as the standardised funeral, local authority provision, direct cremations and offering a low cost service to those in receipt of benefits.

The NAFD appoints qualified barrister and nurse Mandie Lavin as Chief Executive Officer The National Association of Funeral Directors, which represents more than 4,000 UK funeral homes and works closely with all four UK governments to address the needs of bereaved families, has appointed qualified nurse and barrister Mandie Lavin as its Chief Executive Officer.

M

andie joins the Association from her previous role as CEO of the Chartered Institute of Legal Executives. She brings with her significant experience of working in trade associations, having acted as Director of Regulation at the General Optical Council, and ran the Bar Standards Board, where she helped to Mandie Lavin establish the independence of the regulator within the Bar Council.

In a range of previous roles across pharmacy, accountancy and the law, Mandie has held responsibility for education, regulation, standards and ethics. She remains a member of Middle Temple, having qualified as a barrister in 1993 following an earlier career on the front line of the NHS at Guys Hospital in London.

NAFD President Jeremy Field welcomed Ms Lavin to the profession: “Mandie brings with her valuable insight into two professions with whom funeral directors work closely – healthcare and the law. I am very excited by the opportunities that Mandie’s appointment offers the NAFD and its members at what is a seminal moment for the profession. I would like to welcome Mandie to the Association and wish her every success in her new role.”

Ms Lavin added: ‘From my early days as a nurse and NHS manager I have always had immense respect for the work of funeral directors and have seen greater potential for the industry. Funeral directors make a real difference to families and friends at the time of their greatest need. The professionalism

and care with which funeral arrangements are made and decisions taken should be viewed by the public as a hallmark of NAFD membership that they can trust.”

Ms Lavin’s appointment comes at a time of heightened interest in the work of the funeral profession, particularly in Westminster and Holyrood, which is leading to rapid change within the sector to meet the needs of consumers. Ms Lavin plans to draw on her parallel experience in other trade bodies to help drive this change further.

“There is a lot of synergy between my new role at the NAFD and the roles I have held in other trade associations, particularly the Bar Standards Board, in terms of what the NAFD strives to deliver to its members and, indeed, to the public.

“Public confidence in the work of funeral directors is vital and it was striking to discover that a recent YouGov survey about the profession uncovered a 95% satisfaction rate amongst those Britons who’ve recently asked a funeral director to help them say goodbye to a loved one. That is a level of confidence that most consumer services simply do not achieve and it is imperative that we continue to earn this public support, help families to talk about and put better plans in place for the end of life and find the right balance between what people perceive they should spend on a funeral and the high quality of service and personalisation that families quite rightly have come to expect from funeral directors.”

FuneralTimes | 53

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What do I get for my money?

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his is not an unreasonable question for a Funeral Director or bereaved family to ask when engaging a civil celebrant. Funeral services have many elements and are cost sensitive and people have a right to know exactly how they are spending their money, even at a very emotional time.

Mary Elizabeth Dillon is a very experienced civil funeral celebrant and gives a breakdown of what is involved in preparing and delivering a service. After the initial call from the Funeral Director she makes contact with the family and arranges to see them at a time and a place to suit them.

‘When I go to an initial meeting I never know how long it will take, I give people all the time they need and let them talk as much as they wish. The shortest meeting I had lasted 30 minutes and the longest 3 ½ hours.’ Following on from the meeting she goes away and sits down with all her notes, starting to put together the service.

Frequently families have to make contact with relatives or friends and she is in constant phone contact with them to get all the details together. Often this is a long process and can go on late into the night

but that is the service which is on offer. It is a matter of being there for people when they need someone to guide, help and listen.

When all the details have been confirmed, a final draft is prepared, then it is on to what Mary Elizabeth calls the easy part, actually delivering the service.

Delivering the service usually takes between 30 – 45 minutes, depending on how much time has been booked at the crematorium or the venue chosen. People see the celebrant for that short period and think that is all there is to it, but the hard work and the hours of preparation are not seen or taken into account. Taking all the hours involved in preparing and delivering a service into account, Mary Elizabeth feels that families are well looked after and that the service available offers very good value for money.

The least amount of time I have spent on a funeral service is an average of 6 hours, often it is more. ‘I recently had to call a plumber out to look at my washing machine’, When I compare the costs and expenses involved she says, ‘and comparing my rates to his I think I am in the wrong business but I wouldn’t change for anything’.

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Season of remembrance “The pain passes but the beauty remains.” — Pierre August Renoir

A

s we wind down towards the end of another year, for many it is a time for looking back and reflecting on ones achievements and goals that were reached. For many, as we head towards Christmas, memories flood back of a lost loved one, who was a part of their lives this time last year. Death is part of life. We all know that, yet many of us are unprepared for it.

The month of November is traditionally a time when many groups and organisations hold remembrance services for lost family, friends, or work colleagues, and over the years I have been asked to lead some of these services, this year being no exception.

It is normal for light refreshments to be served after these ceremonies, and people would often approach me to talk about their own story and their loss. The questions most asked are “Will it ever stop hurting so

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much”? “Will we ever get over the grief ”?

“Do we ever really heal after losing someone we loved”?”

Some debated the often cited notion that time heals all wounds. The wounds that were brought into their lives were large, deep gashes, raw, and too tender to touch.

It was nearly impossible for most of those I spoke with that night to imagine a time when the pain would ever be bearable. The death of their loved one turned their hearts inside out, and their lives upside down. One person commented that trying to cope with their grief was nearly worse than the death.

The American John Pavlovitz describes grief as: “Grief doesn’t just visit you for a holiday.

It moves in, puts down roots, and it never leaves. Yet as time passes, eventually the

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tidal waves subside for longer periods, but they inevitably come crashing in again without notice, when you are least prepared. With no warning they devastate the landscape of your heart all over again, leaving you bruised, breathless and needing to rebuild once more”.

There is no quick fix for grief. We learn to live with it, and as funeral professionals, we need to be aware of the various stages of grief (Denial, Anger; Depression; Acceptance). The stages of grief and mourning are universal and are experienced by people from all walks of life, across many cultures. Mourning occurs in response to an

individual’s own terminal illness, the loss of a close relationship, or to the death of a valued being. All people grieve differently.

Some people will wear their emotions on their sleeve and be outwardly emotional.

Others will experience their grief more internally, and may not cry. You should try and not judge how a person experiences their grief, as each person will experience it differently. The death of your loved one might inspire you to evaluate your own feelings of mortality. ‘As long as there is life, there is hope. As long as there is hope, there is life’.

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Enjoy the moments not just the presents

By Jennifer Muldowney

C

hristmas is coming and of all the feasts throughout the year the celebration of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day seem to be the most popular of all. There are more traditions and customs associated with Christmas in all Christian countries than with any other feast. I love Christmas time, it’s family time, it’s home time.

A few years ago my family and I decided to stop exchanging gifts and focus on the real gift of time, time spent with each other. The first year, it felt a little odd, but as the years rolled by, it became the norm for us and now I love it and would not have it any other way.

Having spent many years in America and enjoying Thanksgiving, it soon became one of my favorite holidays. Why? Because it was so similar to my experience of Christmas but without the pressure of gift buying. Yes, both Thanksgiving and Christmas have become commercial commodities that the stores use to guilt trip us. But what if we could fight off the advertising awareness, the pressure to spend more than the next person on a present and find the time to really, truly enjoy the moment, the season, the holiday with our loved ones, wouldn’t we be more

loved and loving? Isn’t that what these dates are truly about?

With increasing awareness of suicide, poor mental health and depression in Ireland today, we should be focussing on what is important in life. Family and friends are two of the most important parts of life and for me, Christmas is a time to really bring that to the fore. Whatever business you are in, we should be encouraging all our customers to share this message of love and warmth, family and friends, and reaching out to those who we know don’t have the luxury of either.

FuneralTimes | 61

Dr Bill Webster

You Have to Laugh!

A

good belly laugh may have repercussions all the way up to the heart, (which for people with a belly like mine is good news.)

We had an interesting support group the other week which was, shall we say, different. It is probably not going to go in my “Guide to Good Grief Groups” book as an ideal model of what should happen, but somehow it did happen, and somehow it worked.

Diane is what might be called “a character”.

She never stops talking, which is always difficult in any support group. Even worse the stuff she talks about is completely “off the wall”, yet the only person who does not realize that fact is, you’ve guessed it, Diane.

She’s a nice enough person, but I constantly have to ask her to allow others to talk, not to interrupt and to keep to the point.

Last month, with 30 others in attendance, Diane started in. She attends the group because her father, whom she cared for devotedly for many years, died last year. She began to talk about other losses in her life and told us she had been engaged 5 times, but all her fiancées had broken off with her.

(None of us asked the obvious question owing to what we felt was the obvious answer!)

Anyway, her description of these relationships was hilarious, and Diane, sensing that she had the crowd, went on and on providing more and more detail.

At the end of every description of failed 62 | FuneralTimes

relationship, she said “But at least I kept the ring” and then showed us that particular ring. We soon discerned that she was wearing all 5 rings on different fingers, like trophies.

Well, someone started to laugh and giggle, and the more reaction she got the more Diane rose to the occasion. It really was funny. I bit my lip really hard, but eventually we were all literally in hysterics. It was a hoot. Finally, we called a break to get things calmed down and back to my grief agenda, but people wouldn’t let it go. In spite of the concerted intervention of that world renowned expert, Doctor Bill, people continued to tell funny stories about their loved ones, and by the end of the evening our sides were aching from the laughter. We used a lot of Kleenex that evening, but the tears were different.

What was even more interesting, as one lady left the meeting, she said, “That was great. I haven’t laughed this much since before my husband got sick.” And several others have told me that they felt lifted for several days after.

I am not suggesting this as an innovative model of grief support, but I found myself asking “What happened here?” Maybe it was just the mood we were all in. Or maybe it was something more significant.

It is well known that laughter has healing qualities. The research of Norman Cousins in “The Anatomy of an Illness” began

the connection between the endorphins created by laughter acting as an anesthetic to pain, physical and emotional. Recent research has been more specific. For the first time, researchers have found that laughter causes the endothelium, otherwise known as the inner lining of blood vessels, to dilate. This increases blood flow which, of course, is good for overall cardiovascular health.

The message is clear, and fairly economical. “I think it would be reasonable for everybody to loosen up, and spend about 15 to 20 minutes a day laughing,” lead researcher Dr. Michael Miller, director of preventive cardiology at the University of Maryland Medical Center said in a recent article.

Which leads to the proposition that television may actually have a limited role

in heart health “if you watch the right shows and spend your time watching comedies rather than stress-provokers,” Miller cautioned.

Although this is the first study to show that laughter has such an effect, Miller had previously reported that people with heart disease generally respond to everyday life events with less humor than people who were healthy. And Harvard University researchers have reported that people with an optimistic outlook also have a reduced risk of heart disease.

For this study, Dr Miller randomly assigned 20 healthy volunteers to watch either 15 to 30 minutes of a light movie or excerpts from comedy shows; or, on the heavier side, the Steven Spielberg war drama Saving Private Ryan.

The participants were divided equally between men and women, averaged 33 years

‘Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh’

First you hurt, then you heal Dr. Bill Webster understands grief not just in theory, but also from personal experience. In his book, “First you Hurt, Then you Heal”, Dr. Bill outlines a road map for the grief journey in a series of articles that take us through the process .

He begins with a chapter entitled “I Didn’t Plan for This” that gives people an understanding of what they may experience in the early days after a loss. The book then goes on to give us an understanding of grief, some insights into various situations of loss, and some strategies to help us work through the process.

This book will be a helpful resource for those who are going through a grief process as well as containing much relevant and practical information for those who would like to know what they can say and how they can help someone who has experienced a significant loss. It will also serve as a basic knowledge and layman’s guide for those in the helping professions such as nurses, teachers, funeral directors and those who seek to support grieving people, young and old, through their work. “First you Hurt, Then you Heal” provides practical, down to earth and effective insight into one of the most difficult topics and most misunderstood experiences of life.

First you Hurt, Then you Heal: A Road Map for the Grief Journey (Kindle Edition) is avaialble to buy on Amazon at £5.51.

FuneralTimes | 63

of age, and had had their initial blood flow measured after an overnight fast.

Almost all of the volunteers (95 percent) experienced increased blood flow while watching the funny movie, while three quarters (74 percent) had decreased flow while observing the ravages of war onscreen.

Overall, average blood flow increased 22 percent while laughing and decreased 35 percent during mental stress. The changes lasted 30 to 45 minutes after watching the movie segment.

The magnitude of the changes was similar to the benefit that might be seen with aerobic activity, Miller said. That’s not a reason to trade laughing for exercise, he added; the ideal would be to do both.

It’s not clear why laughter had this salubrious effect, but Miller has some ideas.

“The endothelium has endorphin receptors so what may be happening after a good laugh is these endorphins are released and activate the receptors, causing an interaction or perhaps just an independent dilation of the endothelium,” he said. Endorphins are

64 | FuneralTimes

“feel good” chemicals with morphine-like properties.

Whatever the reason, the message is clear.

Doctors need to spend more time talking to patients about stress and the psychosocial aspects of illness.

I am not advocating that humour should cover up grief, or that laughter should replace tears. It is important to grieve the loss of a loved one. Unresolved grief causes even greater problems down the road.

What I am saying is that laughter and tears are both valid in the dying process and in the grief after the loss of a loved one.

Our attitude towards death is often one of strict seriousness. As George Bernard Shaw once said, “Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.” A sense of humour can help you overlook the unattractive, tolerate the unpleasant, cope with the unexpected, and smile through the unbearable.

As Roger Rabbit puts it: ‘Sometimes a laugh is the only weapon we have.”

Liza & Edward from Treasured Keepsakes

would like to thank you all for your support throughout 2016 and wish everyone

A Very Happy Christmas and Best Wishes for

2017

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Glyn Tallon - 14 Academy Street, Navan, Co. Meath Tel: 086 826 8876 / Fax: 046 903 6001 Web: www.tallonmortuaryspecialists.com Email: info@tallonmortuaryspecialists.com FuneralTimes | 65

Join the association that’s leading the way.

Representing and promoting the interests of 850 independent funeral directors.

SAIF is at the forefront of tackling the big industry issues that matter to you.

As the united voice of independent funeral directors we have led the way in setting the highest standards of professionalism and conduct within the industry. By joining SAIF you too can demonstrate that you uphold this same commitment.

For over 20 years SAIF has been promoting and protecting the interests and values of independent funeral directors. Supporting our members is at the heart of everything we do, listening, responding and engaging to secure your independent future.

Join SAIF now: visit saif.org.uk or call us on 0345 230 6777 or 01279 726 777

SAIF NEWS ... SAIF NEWS ...

SAIF Education Day SAIF Education Day, held on Wednesday 2nd November at The Leicester Tigers Conference Hall, saw a bumper presence with over 90 attendees, including some 20 exhibitors.

Guest speakers on the day included Mrs Catherine Mason, HM Senior Coroner for Leicester City and South Leicester, who gave an informative and detailed presentation on her work as a Coroner and how she deals with day to day issues; Sandy Sullivan, who founded Resomation in Scotland in 2007 also gave an in-depth explanation on Resomation and kept delegates enthralled with this initiative.

After an exquisite lunch, the delegates were able to view the exhibition, taking an interest in the products and services that were on display.

The afternoon saw Compliance and Risk covered by Alison Wilson who is Director for Risk and Audit for Golden Charter; Health and Safety was presented by Simon Bloxham, who submits a regular article in SAIFInsight, and was clearly very passionate about the subject, reminding members that he is happy to offer one to one guidance to ensure they are covered under the HSE regulations.

The final part of the day heard Matthew Gallagher, Internal Verifier and Governor for the College, give a welcome update on the progress of the IFD College and also

Some of the students who attended on the day

Simon Bloxham, speaker on Health and Safety

announced the new Membership of the College.

David Peasgood who is Director of Education and Governor announced the students who had successfully passed their courses and proudly received their certificates that were presented by Paul Allcock National President.

SAIF Quality Programme Due to the stringent inspection process, SAIF are looking to inspect members' premises on a two yearly cycle.

We make no excuses for the strict regime undertaken and are sure that members appreciate that every aspect of their membership inspection is for their overall benefit. To do this, we will require more Quality Assessors; do you think you could undertake this role as a Quality Assessor?

Please contact Linda Jones at SAIF Business Centre for more details linda@saif.org.uk FuneralTimes | 67

5 Things to do before you Die The booklet ‘5 things to do before you Die’ has been welcomed by members across the country and we remind members that these are still available from SAIF Business Centre.

This is an excellent marketing tool so please ensure you contact the Business Centre for your copies now.

SAIF wish to extend warm seasonal greetings to all readers and trust that the New Year proves to be healthy and prosperous.

A new delivery to Edenderry Patrick Larkin, Edenderry with the latestDirectors, Mondeo from Fearghas & R. Gibney of Gibneys of Oldcastle Funeral collects his newQuinn hearse Hearse from Fearghas Quinn Hearse and Limousines.

Limousines 68 | FuneralTimes

Norwood Classic and Rosedale for Dunnett’s Funeral Directors D

unnett’s Funeral Directors was established by George and Alison Dunnett and is a family run business with branches in Wick and Thurso. The Dunnett family have offered a wide range of services to the community for over 30 years, maintaining exceptionally high standards and providing the very best in a dignified and professional service.

They recently added the (L-R) Coleman Milne’s Tony Kerr and Sinclair Dunnett at prestigious Norwood Classic the office in Wick hearse and Rosedale limousine to their fleet. The Norwood Classic adds a dignified and modern touch to the occasion with its expansive glass roof, sumptuous leather upholstery, and large bearer seat access.

The Rosewood limousine adds a stylish complement with its increased headroom and visibility in the rear passenger space. Discretion and dignity is maintained by the option to include the full height electric division.

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Christmas crackers and ullaloos

By Mattie Lennon

A study has found that of ten major professions or trades Vicars are the least likely to laugh at Christmas cracker jokes.

A total of 1000 people were involved in the study, undertaken by the Christmas cracker firm Robin Reed, with 100 from each job tested on their reactions to the jokes. Each person’s reaction was rated and classified into three categories: an audible laugh, a smile or little or no reaction at all.

Guess who found the jokes the funniest and really guffawed? Funeral directors.

Next came doctors and then accountants who were found to be the most likely to laugh out loud.

Some undertakers will admit that they need a black sense of humour and I suppose they do. But when I met Tony Clarke, in Blessington on, having exchanged the greetings of the season and discussing the current incumbent of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, I gave him my latest Christmas cracker joke, “Why did the scarecrow win so many awards?”.

“Because he was outstanding in his field.”

He gave me a look that said, “You’re certainly not a candidate for membership of Mensa.”

The chief executive of Robin Reed, Julian Reed, said: “I’m not surprised that undertakers topped our chuckle chart – people often use humour to deal with difficult circumstances. We find that sillier jokes go down better in hard times.” The Irish, to some extent have always used humour to deal with tragedy. In late 2011 Paddy Joe Keane from Killenard, Co. Laois was diagnosed with lung cancer and told 70 | FuneralTimes

that he had only a few months to live. He said, “I don’t want everyone to be at the wake when I can’t be there myself.” He planned, and held, his own wake while he was still alive.

A typical Irish wake was held in the Thatch pub. He died on February 16th 2012. His son Paddy said later, “My take is Paddy Joe was saying to his family and friends, 'the memories of the last stand will keep me alive and keep ye happy’ - Journalist Billy Keane summed it up, “Paddy Joe Keane, the clever handyman from Killenard, might just have figured out a new and better way of dying.”

Which I’m sure would be a good thing.

Irish songwriters spent a lot of time penning ballads about widows’ daughters dying from TB and coffins being carried down bog roads until Percy French introduced a bit of humour to the art.

But each Irish province had different funeral songs – the “Ulster cry” was different in melody from the “Munster cry,” for example. In Castle Rackrent, Maria Edgeworth wrote of how people gathered, ”... as the bearers of the hearse proceed on their way, and when they pass through any village, or when they come near any houses, they begin to cry, ‘Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Agh! Agh! Agh!’ raising their notes from the first ‘Oh’ to the last ‘Agh’ in a kind of mournful howl..

The Irish then musically expressed grief – that is, they applied the musical art, in which they excelled, to the orderly celebration of funeral obsequies.”

As far back as the 1100s the Irish were widely known for their

remarkable funeral customs. According to “Transactions of the Royal Irish Academy”, ... a crowded funeral was the only proof needed that the deceased was a beloved member of the community. The volume includes a detailed account of old Irish laments, called Ullaloos, as well as interesting funeral and wake customs.

Writer Kayla Hertz says, “Mourners at a funeral would divide in two, with one section at the head of the deceased (who would be elevated and ornamented with flowers), and the other at the feet. They would alternate verses of the laments, led by two chief bards, and join in song at the chorus. The Ullaloo would commence with the chief bard at the head singing the first stanza in a low tone accompanied by a harp. After spending some time recalling the virtues and vices of the deceased, the two semi-choruses would then take turns “interrogating” the corpse – they would ask questions like, ‘Why did you die? Was your wife faithful?

Were your sons dutiful? Were your

daughters chaste’?”

According to Edgeworth, old women with loud cries were held in high regard and were in great demand for attendance at funerals. “Even beggars, when they grow old, go about begging for their own funerals. That is, begging for money to buy a coffin, candles, pipes and tobacco. “Those who value customs in proportion to their antiquity, and nations in proportion to their adherence to ancient customs will doubtlessly admire the Irish Ullaloo,” Edgeworth mentions one comedic rendition of the Irish Ullaloo from a Dublin play, in which a chorus of old women were lamenting for a decent amount of time, with all the necessary accompaniments of wringing their hands, wiping or rubbing their eyes with the corners of their gowns or aprons, before one of the mourners suddenly suspends her lamentable cries, and turning to her neighbour asks, “Arrah now, honey, who is it we’re crying for?”

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FuneralTimes | 71

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Spectacular Cemeteries Famous for its spectacular collection of Gothicstyle monuments, whose erections can in places be traced back to the 1600s, Edinburgh’s Greyfriars Kirkyard is viewed as a place of significance and, in line with this, has acted as the location for a number of historically significant moments, including the signing of the National Covenant in 1638.

The story began when Mary Queen of Scots granted the former convent garden which surrounds Greyfriars Kirk to act as a burial ground back in 1562. It is worth highlighting the notoriety of its residents. Despite the grounds hosting a series of famous Scots, including George Heriot and James Craig, the most frequently spoken of burial is that of Greyfriars Bobby, the loyal Skye Terrier who held a 14 year vigil at his masters Bobby, the Skye grave, eventually being Terrier buried alongside him.

Within the graveyard stands the Covenantor’s Prison, where 1,200 were imprisoned, before meeting their end at the Grassmarket, or, if fortunate, were deported to Barbados as slaves. Within the Kirkyard stands a memorial stone dedicated to those who suffered for their cause. George ‘Bluidy’ MacKenzie, a known persecuter of many Covenantors, is himself buried on-site in The Black Mausoleum.

A number of guests taking part in the Kirkyard ghost tours have reported being physically attacked by the MacKenzie Poltergeist.

Seemingly a world away, Paris’ Père Greyfriars Kirkyard

Lachaise has been said to resemble an art gallery more than a cemetery. Oscar Wilde, Chopin, Jim Morrison... to name but a few. With an abundance of figures credited with shaping the politics and culture of modern society in so Chopin’s Grave many ways finding their final resting place here, it is lttle wonder that Père Lachaise Graveyard is widely believed to be the most visited burial site on earth. The cemetery takes its name from King Louis XIV’s confessor, Father François d’Aix de La Chaise. The sites' tourist appeal is perhaps best reflected in the very presence of maps, carefully dotted around its various entrances, pointing towards the most famous graves.

Père Lachaise serves a dual purpose of being The grave of both the largest cemetery, Oscar Wilde and park, in the city of Paris, standing at 110 acres. Estimates surrounding the number of burials on-site vary greatly, ranging anywhere from 300,000 to 1,000,000. The oldest identifiable bones to be resident are believed to be those of Abelard and Héloïse (who died in 1142 and 1164, respectively).

The cemetery is essentially a mix between an English park and a shrine. In Père Lachaise, all funerary art styles are represented, ranging from Gothic graves and Haussmanian burial chambers to spectacular ancient mausoleums.

Père Lachaise Cemetery FuneralTimes | 73

Bringing it all together Tuesday 3rd Wednesday 4th October 2017 If your business is providing funeral products to the Ireland and UK market, the Funeral Times Trade Show Ireland 2017 is a must for your sales campaign There is a large range of space options and exhibition areas to choose from, whatever size your business

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Citywest Hotel & Conference Centre Saggart, C0. Dublin Call 028/048 3835 5060 or email sales@funeraltimes.com

Wilcox Removal Ambulance for S Webb and Son T

im Ward of S. Webb and Son describedhis delight with the new Ambulance, "we currently use a Wilcox Hearsette ® but needed an extra vehicle for collections and felt the need to have the ability to carry four at any one time.

However, very conscious that we wanted it to look more of a people carrier than a van, we opted to have tinted glass windows and have a silver van.

It also has so much storage, with a pull out under-deck draw at the rear and both sides.”

Wilcox limousines would like Tim Ward from S Webb and Son taking delivery of his new to thank Tim and his family for removal ambulance from Southern area Sales Manager his continued business Malcolm Brooks

6th New Jaguar fleet from Wilcox W

illiamson Brothers, located in Stoke on Trent was established in 1927 by Fred and Margaret Williamson. It now spans five generations and still prides itself as remaining one of only a few family firms of funeral directors in North Staffordshire After nearly sixty years of hard work Graham and Cynthia will be retiring later this year, but their eldest son Robert, his wife Lesley, and grandson James, will continue the traditions of the company.

James has recently joined the family

business having just gained a first class honours degree at Loughborough University.

Graham said, “its time for us to step aside and hand over the baton to the next generation, although we shall only be a phone call away. We have always been extremely pleased with the superb vehicles Wilcox & Co have provided and had no hesitation in placing an order for our 6th fleet of new Jaguars. We would like to thank Paul Wilcox and his staff for their personal attention given to us over the years.”

Graham and Cynthia Williamson and family of Williamson Brothers funeral directors taking delivery of their latest new fleet from Ian Roe of Wilcox & Co (Limousines) Ltd.

76 | FuneralTimes

‘Wilcox’ pre-owned fleet for Browning’s Funeral Directors

Vehicles supplied to Browning’s Funeral Directors of Whitburn by Wilcox Limousines Ltd. Browning’s Funeral Directors was established over 100 years ago in 1905. The independent family business offers its services to West Lothian, Falkirk, North Lanarkshire, Edinburgh West and Lanark.

It is currently run by Eric and Gary Browning. Professional funeral directors, they are members of SAIF. The modern funeral home includes

arrangement rooms, chapels of rest and a service chapel capable of holding up to 120 people. In addition to funerals, they also offer a monumental mason service.

The vehicles shown are part of their ongoing investment in the business. Wilcox Limousines Limited would like to thank Eric and Gary for their continued custom and wish them every success with their new fleet.

Jaguar fleet for D T Turner Funeral Directors

D

T Turner Funeral Directors is based in Frodsham, Cheshire. The business has been going for 31 years.

Ian, who currently runs steel bodied Daimler vehicles, opted for aluminium model Jaguars that were introduced in 2004. The cars come with a high specification including air suspension, luxury leather, burr walnut trim, alloy

wheels, and cruise control. The hearse offers one of the largest deck areas on the market.

This is the third fleet in a row that Ian has purchased from Wilcox Limousines.

The vehicles shown are part of Ian’s ongoing investment in the business. Wilcox Limousines Limited would like to thank Ian for his continued custom and wish him every success with his new fleet.

(L-R) Owner Ian Turner and staff member Ken Richardson collecting their pre-owned Jaguar Hearse and Limousine supplied

by Wilcox Limousines Ltd FuneralTimes | 77

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FuneralTimes | 79

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82 | FuneralTimes

JBFS

Launching the New Wilcox Jaguar Glass Roofed Hearse

A stylish new addition to this prestigious range of funeral vehicles

Speci cation

The new Wilcox Jaguar Glass Roofed Hearse, offering greater visibility and light.

■ 3 year warranty ■ 3 service centres ■ Jaguar partners since 1969 ■ British designed and built

Prices available on request.

Head Of ce

www.limousines.co.uk

01753 480 600 enquiries@wilcoxlims.co.uk Northern Sales Ian Roe - 07831 520 572 Southern Sales Malcom Brooks - 07500 859 319 Northern Ireland Sales Louis Wilcox - 01753 480 600