Long Live the Reign of Sam Levinson

Episode 1-Pop Tarts & Rat Tales:

Let me spell this out for you intellectual types, don't you know a silly pot boiler when you see one? The only thing more embarrassing than this show are the kinds of people who are easily rattled by it. It's here to shock, it's here to provoke and it's absolutely here to wind you up, so why are you letting it get to you? By complaining about it, you're only playing it further in to their hands, to the point they can only win. In this field, any publicity is good publicity. Did they not teach you this in school, rookie? Crack open a few beers, have a few laughs, be normal and join me as I go through the naughtiest show of the year. So naughty in fact, The Parents Television and Media council wanted it off the air. Last time I checked, The Idol is rated TV-MA meaning for Mature Audience Only, which is generally seen as being 18 or older in the TV world. Begging the question of why are they butting in on what a fully grown individual can watch? Speaking as a fellow parent, butt out and do your job as a parent by managing what they watch. It is not HBO's job to ensure that children do not watch adult content, it is your job. They are here to advise and that's it. What in the Mary Whitehouse hell do you think you fellas are up to? I'd say get a grip but seeing them squirm and get fired up like this makes me want to rub my hands together. It gives me a real hard on.

I am not all too familiar with this Sam Levinson character. My first encounter with this man's name was through the backlash to wonderful films from last year such as Blonde and Deep Water. From the gist of it, it would appear the kids today associate anything sexually charged with this Sam Levinson guy and they believe he is some sort of rogue devil. Notably though, not in a playful way but rather he is viewed with total disdain. Even though, I was yet to encounter a single one of his works other than as a producer credit, I could tell I was really going to like this man, who it turns out is the son of Barry Levinson. Basically, some proper square type who gave us Rain Man. A sort of Robert Zemeckis family approved entertainment kind of fellow. Assume Barry's nippers spent too much time amongst the shallow rich elite of Hollywood and is taking out years of mental abuse on the children of today by inviting them on a journey through his warped mind. After doing a bit of reading on this horny hellraiser, it would appear he began writing episodes for this show called Euphoria. The millennials chosen controversial show that depicts adolescence at its extremes. Bringing back the generational argument for parents to work out whether there's a line between that which is honest and educational and that which is too much for younger viewers. I've not seen a single second of Euphoria, I'm sorry, I'm 26 years old. I was part of the Skins generation and I'm sure if I watched that again, it would be unbearably cringe inducing. According to the consensus, Levinson has really made a name for himself as the bad boy of Euphoria, forever turning the show in to sexploitation. This time not just stirring adults but teenagers too, all for just throwing in a bit of boobs now and then. If this continues, I may have to watch this Euphoria just to show my support for Mr Levinson and his debaucherous ways. Every bad word I hear about him only makes me warm to him more.

There's you back story filled, now for episode one of The Idol. First half comes off as though HBO is striving for another Entourage but replacing film with the music industry. What a time for HBO to even consider releasing something similar to that since that was such an of its time show with all the ups and downs of '90s culture. Had it come out today, it would be deemed highly misogynistic. Nobody's amused by anything any more. You're not even allowed to have your own non-taken seriously little boys club hangout show where dudes be rocking every week. How they ever thought The Idol would go down well in 2023 who knows but when you're playing for controversy, none of that matters. Every bad review is one more person who's seen it so you can't lose. When it comes to the satire early on, it is Hank Azaria and Eli Roth who are killing it. The dialogue is to a poor standard but those guys are on fire. Hank's locking people in bathrooms and abandoning all morality for success. Eli's googling himself, demanding to be let in to rich houses and refusing to allow any Jewish jokes today because he's not in the mood.

Then in the second half, having got all the quirky structural tricks out the system with the flashbacks and limited time problem solving out the way, they try and carve their own Basic Instinct. We're talking Sleazy pop trash with big names. Definitely preferred the second half, which was far less showy and straight to the point. Seems like there's a good dynamic between The Weeknd (amazingly cast to play on his sleazy image) and Depp Jr (who has come a long way since Yoga Hosers into being a potential star). This relationship could genuinely work because they've started it by showing it as a good thing in allowing a pop star to explore their inner sleaze and rise above the throwaway nature of mainstream music. I'm sure it will only get more twisted but so far, it seems fairly positive. The Weeknd rocking up the gaff with his rat rail, popping out the vial and then choking his co-star in the studio already seems like iconic material. They have the perfect ending too with The Weeknd rambling on about when Donna Summer sang you knew she could fuck and that's what he wants from Depp Jr. After a kinky bit of choking, he rips open the silk scarf and declares that now she is ready to sing.

Now that's a statement and we may have found our new weekly dumb trash show. Whether any of it will develop in to anything worthwhile on the satire front, who knows? But as for seeing big names doing sexual acts (even if they are a little tame so far) regardless of quality always makes for a pretty dumb fun erotic thriller if you ask me. Same with this whole "male fantasy" accusation just amusing either way. Let's see where it goes and ride it out. Could get good, could stay laughable nonsense but enjoyable if you're not taking it too seriously. The show has already won because people are already offended and angered by it, making the whole affair even more amusing. Imagine crying about boobies. For readers of Funeralopolis, this is part of a standard diet and is needed a minimum of 5 times a day. In all honesty, The Idol doesn't seem that outrageous so far. No lines have been crossed. So don't get your knickers in a twist. We're making it too easy for them. Let the silly sexploitation shockers work harder if you ask me.

Episode 2-Double Fantasy:

Completely boring follow up that barely even meets the required quota of The Weeknd giving Depp Jr enough head for a pass. How did they let us down this badly? It's fine pissing off the squares but when you're disappointing the dudes who come for trashy delights, you're really in trouble. Won't have a leg to stand on soon enough if they keep that up. I hate the words "gratuitous nudity", cause when can nudity ever be gratuitous? Not necessary? It's always necessary! Doesn't serve the plot? Excuse me, they ARE the plot. Our intellectuals have been campaigning to say this show would be great if it was more interested in satirising the music industry and less interested in switching to sleaze at every opportunity. Personally, I'd say it's the opposite of this. This show could would be great if it was less interested in satirising the music industry and more interested in switching to sleaze at every opportunity. Sadly, the satire it isn't good enough to warrant its inclusion but the sleaze gives it some style and actual appeal. Somehow it's become even more Entourage by having these near plotless hangout episodes but on this occasion, it's not got enough jokes to keep you absorbed. They're almost going the Nashville route on this. A darker play on Woodstock with a fascistic undercurrent.

One of the undeniable and unsung heroes of The Idol is the cinematographer Marcell Rev, known for Assassination Nation, Paterno, White God and Euphoria. Although, Spring Breakers and The Idol have many connections in their aesthetic and aims, one thing that sets them apart is that Korine's film is a digital creation and Rev opts for 35mm film. Lined up side by side, you could say they are the best of both worlds. Rev cites '70s Pakula post-Watergate thrillers as his source of inspiration. He refers to natural light and use of zooms as the link between them. I'd have gone with Miami Vice and Michael Mann films of the '80s as this stylistically superb piece of pop with outfits getting equal if not more dedication to plot. After all, this show is very much a lurid spectacle. I'd love to hear more about Rev's decisions here. The recent Pacifiction is shot on these tiny digital cameras and that has way more in line with post-Watergate thrillers of the '70s. Don't take that as a dig at Rev, quite the opposite, more so that I'd be curious to hear more of a breakdown on this as to what he believes can and cannot be achieved with film against digital.

Episode 3-Daybreak:

And we are back in business with the finest episode of the series. The Weeknd is on fire, offering scraps to just about anyone who looks at his girl wrong. He's running the show. His way or the highway, bozo. Even sinks his teeth in to Depp Jr's assistant and bff, everybody's favourite sweetheart, Rachel Sennott. Noooo, how dare he! Luckily, we came here for The Weeknd bodys everyone show and that means everyone. Don't care how nice you are. You are just a target for The Weeknd to abuse. To be honest, I didn't think The Weeknd had it in him to be a tough guy. Always had him down as a bit of a softy, who was being the cheeky likeable bad boy. Here he's playing all sorts of mind games and has them all the ropes. Bending musicians and industry players to his will like a true pimp. Slick Rick said treat her like a prostitute. He's taken these words to heart and every person on the planet is now The Weeknd's bitch, including myself, who as repulsive as he is here, I can still not bring myself to completely hate. The rat tail really got a hold on me. Catch me sporting that look this time next week.

This episode reaches its peak during a brutally intense family dinner table conversation. There's something really amusing about a show which wants to call most of pop music superficial and position its star as desiring to be amongst the greats like Prince, MJ, Madonna and Donna Summer but can't rise above its own averageness. In a sense, making it ugly and sitting very much on that border between endorsing and criticising but not quite to the vulgar levels that Showgirls reaches. Marks though go to this nuanced approach to morality and artistry. In other scenes, it was a little embarrassing the way it was observing how artists need to be above humans to produce good art. However, this scene reaches the right level of dumb poetry with The Weeknd becoming this towering figure in their lives. A horrible man, deserving to be locked up in a cell for the rest of his life but honourable in his abilities to get people to reach their full potential. Like the Devil himself, he's a man of wealth and taste. Disturbing in his methods but even more shocking is the proof that it can get results. A bloody maverick. An exploiter of personal pain but if that's the back alleys you want to roll around in to produce art you can be proud of, accept no substitutes he's your man. No masterpiece was ever made without risk. Terrifying as it is, he is the evidence that sometimes humanity can progress by going against the moral and decent option. How many figures in history were just like that? He deserves a seat with the greats after this bloody shift. He is Nietzsche's Übermensch. Ladies and gentlemen, The Weeknd

As the conversation at the dinner table progresses, The Weeknd has Depp Jr open up about her abusive upbringing, contradicting the earlier image of her mother as this saintly figure. We wonder why Depp Jr is mourning her mother so badly when she would regularly beat her with a hairbrush until the skin broke. Depp Jr informs us she liked the encouragement it gave her and that she hasn't been able to write as well since. I think you know where this is going. The Weeknds ears perk up at this one. Our sadist has arrived. We have our masochist, we have our sadist. Let's fucking gooooooo! The Weeknd is going to whip Depp Jr with a hairbrush 'til she bleeds on live TV. Now that's entertainment. Quality television. Unfortunately, like with many sexual scenarios, the actualisation doesn't match the fantasy. At least not for the viewer anyway. After a marvellous set up, they tone things right down with a disappointingly tame and tasteful scene. A ridiculous amount of cuts in there, not sure what that's about. I came to see The Weeknd slap Depp Jr silly, Bizarro Sleazo. What's with this Fifty Shades of Grey soft crap? Make that bitch bleed! Either we're doing this S and M business properly or we're pantomiming. Go hard or go home. Might have got carried away there. However, if there is one thing The Idol has taught us, for a generation that is supposedly sex positive, this generation is so backwards and immature with all matters regarding sex. Making all the steps made during the erotic thriller heavy '90s feel like a distant memory.

Episode 4-Stars Belong to the World:

Having established the sadomasochistic relationship between The Weeknd and Depp Jr, The Idol sets its sights on a more epic vision. Of course, The Weeknd and Levinson have spun their spotlight on the music industry in to Manson territory. Another dangerous character who once infiltrated the music scene. He lived with Dennis Wilson for an entire year and even ended up having writing credits on The Beach Boys song Never Learnt Not to Love. Although hinted at by recent Tarantino and PTA efforts Once Upon a Time in Hollywood and Inherent Vice, the story goes that Manson drove Wilson crazy by inviting loads of people over to live with them, changing it from a peaceful home to one with orgies and chaos. The paradise became hell and Wilson's head went so badly he had to abandon his own home.

In The Idol's version on the classic tale, The Weeknd moves in to Depp Jr's mansion and brings in his gang of misfit musicians, heavies and Mike Dean. That's producer Mike Dean, famous for his work with Kanye West not the Tranmere loving legend from the Wirral. Finally, in comes the more violent intimidation from The Weeknd now he's got his heavies behind him. Nobody can leave the gaff. Anybody who falls out of line gets tied up and put on a time out in the corner. Given some time to think about their actions. We're here to make stars. Act against that and you're acting out of line the common interests of the group and so you're in trouble. This is brainwashing camp.

The Weeknd's done so much coke by this point in the story that words have become a challenge for him and he can only speak through kung fu. Basically, me at every gaff come 5am. Towards the end, Gaspar Noe regular, Karl Glusman, randomly joins the party. He really can't help himself. Soon as he sees something with some sleaze, he's putting pen to paper and signing right up. Never would you find that actor playing a normal character. One whiff of horniness and this guy wants in. The fact he was married to Zoe Kravitz says it all. This man likes sex. He could soon be the face of the American sleaze. Episode 4 is a solid outing in the sleaze department but as a penultimate episode it doesn't really work. They've set too much up here that if they hadn't have wasted so much time with the second episode they could have got to this quicker. Instead, it's come too late and really we need another episode in between this and the last one to flesh out the ideas here before the resolution.

Episode 5-Jocelyn Forever:

As guessed, it feels like there's an episode missing here, which in truth is technically the case. Originally, it was planned as a 6 episode deal with Amy Seimetz who did that indie horror banger She Dies Tomorrow a few years back. Under her guide, it was supposed to focus more on Depp Jr's character and her transformations. That was until Levinson hijacked the project, Seimetz backed out and it turned in to what the press described as "torture porn" with a greater attention on The Weeknd's character than previously. I rate Seimetz but I'm sure her version would have just been bland, lacking any style and featuring weak satire. Would anyone have talked about it? Would anyone have cared? Not too sure though why Levinson believed he could wrap this up in 5 episodes, it definitely needed 6 minimum and it's on this last one that you can certainly notice the story suffering from re-writes because it does not know how to position its characters. So much of this last hour becomes contrived and confused.

From the outset, we've skipped too far ahead in the story. In the previous episode, Depp Jr was thrilled and aroused by The Weeknd's violent streak. Backing his actions all the way and even egging him on. Now in the space of five minutes, The Weeknd looks like it's definitely the morning after and this monster has seen better days. Lack of sleep and the come down got this man looking pathetic. Jaw gurning, paranoid glances, sweat oozing down the face, can't form a full sentence other than to terrorise anyone standing in a five metre range, we've all been there and it's hilarious to see but robs the show of the power it had by making him suddenly this weak. On top of this, Depp Jr for no reason at all wants him out the house. No build up to that whatsoever. The threat is gone too soon but there is one way they can save this now and that's diving head first in to the camp. We've lost the realism, the only final hand we can play is comedy.

To some extent, they get away with it in near De Palma fashion. The Weeknd becoming the black Scarface, a former genius with a frazzled mind, crippled under the weight of his own addiction to the pow(d)er. Eli Roth and Hank Azaria are back cracking the jokes out. Eli arrives in some gym shorts, getting lap dances, fighting off infidelity, mocking his own Jewish heritage and making jokes about Kanye West. Hank goes in to DeNiro mode by providing an analysis on Little Red Riding Hood to the sleep deprived, coke fuelled man that was formerly The Weeknd but is now just a shadow of his former self. Ordering security to escort The Weeknd from the premises and giving him the here's 500 grand and leave town cheque or we kill you talk in the back of a van. It suddenly hits you, wait there was never any real threat at all. What were we so worried about? This woman is so rich and powerful, one snap of her fingers and any intruder is finished. Clearly, the home invasion imprisonment thing was all mental, which is a fine comment to make but we never saw how she got out of this? She just suddenly became the sadist and the roles reversed.

We do get possibly my favourite guilty pleasure moment of the whole show here though. When the Weeknd's in the back of the van being given the get out of town talk, he says, "You know I've been to prison for this shit, don't ya?", referencing a previous relationship he was in where he held a woman hostage. Having said this he then rips up the cheque. That's cinema. Wait til you see the bizarre and ludicrous conclusion. After booting him out of town, getting his nightclubs seized from him and a few more charges to his name, The Weeknd returns six weeks later at Depp Jr's massive stadium sized show. Somehow, he expects to be given a back stage pass and even more shockingly gets one. When he asks to see Depp Jr, he somehow is allowed past her security and invited in. Depp Jr then talks to him like she never nearly had him killed and the Weeknd didn't try to have her ex put in prison for a false rape accusation. All throughout, I was thinking ok this is interesting but where you are going to take this? Surely the decent ending here is that Depp Jr recognises the help The Weeknd gave her as a mentor but this is their final respectful conversation and proper goodbye before going their separate ways. The kind of ending where this isn't going to last, it was dangerous but some good came of it. Nope, not a chance, they go for just about the weirdest ending possible. Depp Jr goes out on stage, brings out The Weeknd and announces that they are lovers, she then says "you're mine now forever", emphasising some kind of power shift and this big fuck you to the unhuman suits like Eli Roth and Hank Azaria that have controlled so much of her life. What an awful flex. Like fuck you, you horrible cold capitalist pigs, I'm going to piss you off by becoming life-long partners with a mind controlling abuser who takes women hostage. All clap for Depp Jr's character. She has been granted agency but in the most ridiculous way that is meant to be a message of female power but is so poorly handled it becomes the opposite. Also, what of the rest of the musicians that were also terrible people then out of nowhere changed to being Todd Browning's Freaks but given a new home where they could be accepted? What of Rachel Sennott's character who was treated like shit the whole time and completely abandoned in the background by the end?

The whole way through I'd been impressed by their refusal to present The Weeknd as simply a straight up bad guy. That would have been the lazy path. He's a bad dude who happens to help the main character. Yet, by the end when all is forgiven without consequences and no impact is had on the characters all you can think is you are so cheap it's unreal. Going for the most shocking ending and not even bothering to justify it organically. I almost respect it. I said at the start didn't I, this is a pot boiler. Made to provoke but not think. If it made you think it would do anything else, it sure fooled you. Even I almost was. The Weeknd's response to the controversy was to say it has been misunderstood with some of the scenes meant to be camp and cheesy, not just sexy because that's how Paul Verhoeven did it. He also believes in time people will get The Idol. Let's just I agree with the first part of what he said. A highly dissatisfying ending for wrapping things up but if you just roll with it in this kind of dumb pop The Bodyguard way, let the synths hit and the colours lull you, it almost works in a sensual way. Embrace the stupidity of the spectacle. So many questions and so one track minded that it unmistakably comes this misguided misogynist male fantasy by the end. But I got to hand it to you, you were funny The Idol. You get the nice try award.

Director: Sam Levinson

Screenplay: Sam Levinson, The Weeknd

Starring: The Weeknd, Depp Jr, Rachel Sennott, Eli Roth, Hank Azaria, Mike Dean

Cinematography: Marcell Rev

Music: The Weeknd, Mike Dean

Production company: A24, HBO

Distribution: HBO

Country: USA

Run Time: 5 Episodes

Budget: $75 million

Plot Synopsis: Down and depressed pop star Depp Jr is recoiling from her mother's death and struggling to release another hit. Along comes The Weeknd to do whatever is necessary to make this woman a renowned artist spoken of on the same level as Donna Summer and Madonna. This involves going on journey through one's own inner sleaze.

Bonus Points:

-First and foremost being the exact kind of project that smashes bonus points and being what the feature was made for

-Eli Roth googling pictures of himself and demanding to be let in to mansions because he's a fucking VIP. Being a full time nob head, Constantly cracking jokes about his Jewish heritage and Kanye West. Rocking up in gym shorts, getting lap dances and battling with infidelity

-Hank Azaria locking people in rooms, analysing Little Red Riding Hood to coke heads, threatening people to leave town in the back of vans. His favourite tune being George Harrison's My Sweet Lord

-The Weeknd and Depp Jr for providing an adequate amount of nudity. Depp Jr for looking like a bonafied star. The Weeknd for his rat tail, offering nearly everyone a scrap for looking at his girl wrong, showing us his coke fuelled kung fu moves, being a fucking embarrassment on the comedown. For announcing he's been to prison for this shit and ripping up his fuck off cheque

-Sam Levinson for taking this in a Manson/Verhoeven direction, being the king that he is and rattling the squares once more with a bit of boob

Overall Score: 2.5/5