International Intensive Training in Ireland

INTERNATIONAL INTENSIVE TRAINING BY CNVC IN IRELAND

Evangelic pastor, preschool education teacher, and representative of a pharmaceutical company enter the room…

What do they do there? Altogether with 70 other people from Australia, different states of the USA, and several European countries. All of them learn how to speak. They learn how to communicate using a language that is easier to hear regardless of age, ethnicity, cultural background, or profession.

And they share their professional experience, their life paths and insights. I am together with them as one out of two Poles participating in the International Intensive Training by CNVC, which took part from the 24th of February to the 5th of March 2022 in Dublin, Ireland.

What is NVC about?

Some call it a “conflict resolution tool”, but it is so much more than that. NVC – Nonviolent Communication – is not a method, it is not a model either. It is an attitude which we decide on while in a relationship with other human beings. Nonviolent stands for attitude and actions, which take into consideration our needs as well as the needs of the other individual and all the other humans.

“NVC is based on the principles of nonviolence-- the natural state of compassion when no violence is present in the heart. NVC begins by assuming that we are all compassionate by nature and that violent strategies—whether verbal or physical—are learned behaviours taught and supported by the prevailing culture. NVC also assumes that we all share the same, basic human needs and that all actions are a strategy to meet one or more of these needs.” (CNVC website) The training itself

The IIT consisted of 10 days of experience sharing, exploring multiple universes of 70 individuals, practising the language of life and last but not least, ten days of living in a community where people are seen, acknowledge each other contributions and are free to be vulnerable. And I am guessing it might have been slightly different for each of us, namely, for each of us, this training could have had a different highlight.

The training was constructed based on Open Space Technology. Participants have been offered three parallel workshops per slot, three times per day, delivered by experts in the field and four certified CNVC trainers from the United States, Scotland and Ireland. The days started with a community meeting and closed with such. Workshops were open to everyone, regardless of years of experience in practising NVC (with some recommendations) and topics varied from basics of NVC and how to teach in the beginner’s group, through some deep healing processes to holistic views and approaches such as NVC in education, building nonviolent communities and peace-building movements.

Together with my colleague, we have been given an opportunity to present our projects and what we do during the community gathering called “Giraffes around the world”, where ten individuals from other countries were sharing their initiatives and attempts to build a more peaceful world. It was a huge honour to share in front of over 70 people. In the beginning, we have been very shy about our activities, actions and projects and did not recognise them as significant in comparison to what others do, however, when at the end, we heard applause, and several people approached us to congratulate us and hear more about the projects we do I decided never to underestimate one’s actions because we never know what impact they have on others.

Mournings Together with my colleague, we have been waiting for this training for almost two years. And when the pandemic finally let up a little, trainings went back on track, we could not have been happier!

Then something else happened to the world. On the 24th of February 2022, the war started very early in the morning, hitting our neighbours in Ukraine. What a day to start such an experience, where we speak and live nonviolently, where we learn how to resolve conflicts, how to reconcile. I must say, for 24 hours, I have been torn and about to go back to Poland to be there with the inhabitants of my small town nearby the border and support my Ukrainian friends and work colleagues with my physical presence. I had stayed in Ireland, and it was not easy to be present there and follow the news from Poland and Ukraine. To be surrounded by people from other continents who did not know much back then. That was definitely a very bizarre time, sometimes, it felt unrealistic and, at the same time, made this experience very special and memorable for me. Day by day, awareness in the group was growing, and we have found each other with the people who wanted to act, we were having meetings and making future plans in regard to the current situation and support which might be needed now and in the future. I am very grateful for that.

Celebrations I come back inspired and more ready to use a new way of working, which pays off already, and I will say about it more at the end of this post. I clarified concepts which seemed abstruse before, gained confidence in facilitating some activities, and structured the knowledge I had. I made new partnerships for my organisation in the field of adult education but not only.

This training was an outstanding journey inside myself, a journey to clarity about my future goals for personal and professional life and, unexpectedly, a journey through various dialects and accents of the English language. I came quite confident about my English speaking skills, working proficiency

confirmed with hours of delivering trainings in English. And then it stroke me: Irish, Scottish, British English, American English from various states…I was terrified. It all settled after two days. I was ready and comfortable to work with these people and share honestly from the heart. This was a very empowering experience in terms of my language skills and also very touching when I recall how the group and every single person took care of me, ensuring that everything was understood and clear and that I expressed myself the way I wanted. And last but not least, how everyone appreciated me speaking a language that is not my native language. I always take it for granted, never encountering anyone thanking me for that.

I am learning something new, having some trippings, and stumblings at the moment; I am still developing ease in this way of life. I am still developing MY language.

The word for closure Recently, at the end of the training, I was facilitating, one of the participants during the closing circle said: “For me, this training was not only about specific tools to use while working with groups. It was nonviolent communication training, and I love it.”. This statement made me realise how nonviolent communication is not only about tools, concepts and theories but foremost about the attitudes and practising what you preach. I do hope to continue living this way, giving participants of my trainings and people around me space, where each idea, each individual, is heard, understood and accepted the way they are.

In order to learn more about NVC, I invite you to visit the website of CNVC: https://www.cnvc.org/, where you can find learning materials, events and trainings as well as the list of certified trainers from your country.

My participation in the event was supported by Fundacja Instytut Innowacji and co-financed by Program Operacyjny Wiedza Edukacja Rozwój 2014-2020 PROJECT: „ Zwiększenie kompetencji trenerskich kadry zajmującej się edukacją dorosłych w Fundacji Instytut Innowacji” 2020-1-PL01-KA104-079405 is co-financed by the European Union in the framework of the European Social Fund.