HEARING GOD Laura Wolf describes how she discovered that God does speak into our daily lives

HEARING GOD

BY LEARNING TO LISTEN

BY LAURA WOLF

Recently I’ve been struggling with some recurring themes in my life. One being control. I have huge control issues in that I want to control everything and everyone. When I’m having a conversation with someone and they respond I think, “you’re not following the script in my head of how this is supposed to go.”

I am also a bit of a perfectionist and am independent to my own detriment most of the time. I started having questions of “How do I give up control? Can I? Can I trust God? Why can’t I move past this? Why am I standing in my own way? Why can’t I do this?” I felt like I was on a hamster wheel and cried out to God wondering if I was ever going to change.

I don’t know that I intentionally test God so much as I don’t always listen. God heard my cry and took over. In a matter of less than 24 hours I heard God speak to me in 7 different ways.

1Sunday morning, I was looking online for a funny religious cartoon and I found one that was a playoff of the Footprints in the Sand poem. The gist of the poem is that a man had a dream where scenes from his life played before him and he saw two sets of footprints in the sand: his and God's. He noticed that at the lowest point in his life there was only one set of footprints and he asked God why he would leave him where he needed him the most and God said he would never leave him and the times he saw one set of footprints is where God carried him. In the cartoon God and the man are standing next to each other and God says, “Where you see one set of footprints is where I carried you. The long groove is where I dragged you kicking and screaming.” I can relate because God often carries me kicking and screaming. It’s abundantly clear that I need to give up control, but here I am kicking and screaming. I want to give up control, but I want to do it my way. 2 I heard God in the sermon that Sunday when Brady preached about "doing it my way." I’m constantly trying to do things my own way. I thought I could give up control on my own, but it turns out that I need God to help me with that. So I have to give up control by asking God to help me give up control so that I can have a fuller relationship with God. 3 I was an emotional mess as I’m leaving church wondering if I have the strength to give up control and still wondering if God can really help me and how am I going to do it. I sneak out the back door and down the steps and Brady calls me back up so I get back to the top and he says “I just wanted to give you a hug.” And then I start thinking right I can’t do it alone. I have to have God and other people help me. 4 I heard God in a Facebook status that Rev. Pattye posted that Sunday night. The words that spoke to me the most were “We so often forget that surrendering is what the Lord desires, a willingness to allow Him to lead us to experience a real, authentic life.” Here was yet another message of surrendering and giving up control. 5 Every morning I read a devotion book and Monday morning’s reading were the words “We tend to put off living…Today is our day to act… We don’t have to deal directly with anything but today. We must rid ourselves of self-pity, criticism, and blame. Bury all excuses. Tomorrow is the fool’s paradise. Today is

ours.” I’m notorious for waiting for Mondays, or New Year’s or Lent to make changes. I don’t have to wait to ask God to help me. I can ask him every minute of every day if I have to, to help me give up control. 6 Monday morning, I read my Disciple lesson and part of the scripture was “Do not be afraid I am with you.” I don’t have to be afraid to give up control because God is with me. There is a section on spiritual discipline and that week it was about submission and these words—"We find our true identity when we give up our own need to have our own way.” And the prayer for the week in Disciple was “Listen Lord, to my prayer, hear my cries for help. I call to you in times of trouble because you answer my prayers.” Another message of pray to God for help and give up the need to have your own way. 7 I receive the email every morning from Richard Rohr. I skip it every morning. Monday the title of the lesson was “All things change and grow” so I decided to read it and it talked about growing and evolving and the human psyche’s need for stability, security, and superiority. I feel that if I have stability and security then I am in control. My need for superiority is my need to do it myself to somehow prove that I’m better than others.

All of these ways have the same message that I was needing that I am not in control and that I CANNOT do it alone. Seven ways that God spoke to me. One thing that I noticed is that four of those ways I heard God were through intentional acts on my part. I went to church. I read my devotional, I read my Disciples lesson, and I read that email. Without that intentionality I would’ve missed out on several times that God spoke to me. I am also really bad at remembering. Just 5 days after I heard God in 7 ways I was already back to thinking I was in control. I asked God to speak to me again. His answer was right there in the Disciple lesson that I read Friday morning.

I’m not always great at listening to God, but when I ask God to speak and put myself in a position to hear, I’ve discovered that God does speak. I hope you’ll be encouraged by my story and listen for God in your life."

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