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ISSUE 156, FEBRUARY 2017

community news, issues, arts, people, events

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The Fringe FEBRUARY 2017

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contents

Community encouraged to help save kauri.............................. 4 Street food in Green Bay.......................................................... 5 A time for reinvention.............................................................. 6 Shining a light on our community spirit................................... 7 An opportunity to tell your story............................................. 8 Into the future; Come dancing................................................. 9

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Art and about with Naomi McCleary.................................10-11 Places to go: Events listing................................................12-13 Hillary race a sell-out.............................................................. 14 Iconic festival to take a break................................................. 15 Bandstanding: Introducing Paper Cranes............................... 16

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Keeping mind and body active............................................... 17 Love your coast...................................................................... 18 Feature: St Valentine’s Day gifts............................................. 19 Words on Wine with Lindsay Nash; Wanted: Volunteer ‘Green Coats’........................................... 20 Walking West with Mick Andrew............................................ 21 Live @ the lounge.................................................................. 22 Advertisers directory.............................................................. 23

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On our cover: Female cones on a young kauri tree. Kauri trees have both male and female cones and they can grow on the same branch. For more on a new initiative to save our kauri, see page 4. Photo by Bevis England. www.fringemedia.co.nz

WIN

a copy of Into the West The Protect Piha Heritage Society has recently republished Into the West: European Settlement in the Western Waitakere Ranges, Land Purchases and Grants. Researched and written by Jan Barnes it was first published in 2009. The well illustrated book has now been updated and reprinted. The Fringe has a copy of Into the West to give away. To enter the draw to win this book write your name, address and phone number on the back of an envelope and post it to Fringe Book Competition, PO Box 60-469 Titirangi, Auckland, 0642 or you email your contact details to info@fringemedia.co.nz with Book Competition in the subject line. All entries must reach us by February 15.

Every issue of The Fringe (and the Titirangi Tatler before it) since April 2011 is on-line at www.fringemedia.co.nz. Like us on Facebook (www.facebook.com/ FringeWest) to hear when each issue is available and get other updates. please support our advertisers – they support us

20,600 copies delivered free to letter boxes, post boxes, libraries and selected outlets throughout Titirangi, Glen Eden, Green Bay, New Lynn, Kelston, Konini, Wood Bay, French Bay, South Titirangi, Waima, Woodlands Park, Laingholm, Parau, Cornwallis, Huia and Oratia.

Published by: Fringe Media Ltd, PO Box 60-469, Titirangi, Auckland 0642

Editor: Bevis England 817 8024, 027 494 0700 bevis@fringemedia.co.nz

Advertising: Ed King

817 3627, 021 296 7703 ed@fringemedia.co.nz

Features: Moira Kennedy 817 2204, 021 723 153 moira@fringemedia.co.nz

Writers: Tony Waring, Jade Reidy, George Shiers.

Contributors: Geoff Davidson, Ken Ring, David Thiele, Lindsay Nash, Naomi McCleary, Susannah Bridges, Phoebe Falconer, Mick Andrew, Sarah Sparks.

Advertising deadline for March: February 15 The Fringe FEBRUARY 2017

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our place

Community encouraged to help save kauri A new kauri rescue project is being launched in Titirangi this month, following disturbing results of the latest kauri dieback survey in the Waitakere Ranges.

The average number of trees infected across the ranges is now one in five, up from eight percent five years ago. In areas where kauri dominate, the deadly pathogen is now affecting between 33 percent and 58 percent of trees, making localised extinction in places such as Piha highly likely.

The kauri rescue project is a joint initiative being funded for two years from the government’s Biological Heritage National Science Challenge. It aims to engage local communities in helping infected trees to help themselves, by treating them with a chemical called phosphite.

“We’ve seen that where we’ve treated trees with phosphite the lesions at the base, which spread and eventually kill the tree, stop and then heal,” says project team leader Dr Ian Horner of Plant and Food Research. “We hope people will find this new opportunity empowering.”

The ‘citizen science tool’ will be used in stage one with a small number of private landowners to test and refine it before being expanded to a wider group. Landowners will also be encouraged to test other treatment techniques that span western science and matauranga Maori methods.

Phosphite has so far lessened the symptoms of dieback and prolonged the life of the tree rather than offered a cure. While there are some concerns about the risk of over-dosing

trees, project member and Tree Council secretary, Dr Mels Barton, says this risk is worth taking.

“We cannot afford to wait any longer. The possibility of killing some trees while saving others is worth taking in our view. We don’t want to imagine a future without kauri in the ranges,” she says.

The ranges are the number one hotspot for the disease in New Zealand and the Auckland Council survey shows infection is worst along the track network, suggesting people rather than wild animals are spreading it. Eighty-three percent of park visitors are either walking past cleaning stations without scrubbing their shoes and spraying them with trigene, going off-track or disregarding the many track closures.

The council has introduced kauri dieback ambassadors into high-use parts of the ranges over the summer to ensure more visitors use the cleaning stations and understand their importance. Some tracks have also been re-routed to avoid kauri, boardwalks constructed and drainage improved.

The kauri rescue project was generated partly from concern about budget cuts to Auckland Council’s Biosecurity Kauri Dieback Unit last year, which resulted in the loss of its field officer.

The project’s public launch is at the Titirangi War Memorial Hall on Thursday, February 9 at 7pm. To find out more, go to www.KauriRescue.org.nz.

These trees in Titirangi village are already under threat from kauri dieback.

MARCH 1st to 31st Start stockpiling your weeds now!

Go to www.ecomatters.org.nz/war-on-weeds or phone 09 826 4276 ext 402 to find the weed bin nearest to you.

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The Fringe FEBRUARY 2017

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our place

Street Food in Green Bay Strong community support has seen Green Bay Community House celebrate the first year of its Friday night Street Food event.

Organised by a small team of volunteers, the event sees a range of vendors supplying quality street food in the Green Bay community with increasing numbers of people coming from areas further afield to take part in the family-oriented event.

As well as selling good food, all vendors use compostable packaging with plates, bowls, cups and cutlery disposed in on-site compost bins.

A bokashi system for food scraps has recently been introduced with its contents being turned into organic fertiliser.

Volunteer Anja Thomas says waste management is an important part of the Community House's events.

"We want to create awareness around the benefits of significantly reducing the waste that ends up in landfill by showcasing alternative methods to our community by encouraging businesses and markets to implement a zero waste policy," she says.

The Street Food events have also given the Community House an opportunity to promote its other activities including the provision of free tomato seedlings as part of Kai Auckland's Tomato Movement, donating to a range of other community events and fundraisers, working with students from Green Bay High School's Youth Employment programme and engaging local musicians.

Green Bay Street Food is on every Friday, 5-9pm throughout summer. Phone 827 3300, email gbcommunityhouse@gmail.com or visit www.facebook.com/greenbaystreetfood.

Established 1942

Design for bush living The Waitakere Ranges Local Board recently commissioned a guide for building or redeveloping in the bush areas of the Waitakere Ranges Heritage Area.

The document, Building Design Guidance, is intended to help landowners, decision makers and design professionals make good choices on design and layout for building projects in the Waitakere Ranges with the aim of promoting sustainable living and protecting the unique character of the ranges. The document has been extracted from the more comprehensive Building in the Bush Design Guide. An earlier document, Waitakere Ranges Foothills Design Guide is also available. http://www.aucklandcouncil.govt.nz/EN/newseventsculture/ heritage/Documents/buildingdesignguidanceforbuildinginthe bushinwaitakererangesheritagearea.pdf

5 Totara Avenue New Lynn Tel. 09 827 5709

http://www.aucklandcouncil.govt.nz/EN/newseventsculture/ heritage/Documents/waitakererangesfoothillsdesignguide.pdf

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people

A time for reinvention

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Retirement: an emotional rollercoaster full of dread or a chance to embrace new possibilities?

Green Bay's Maggie Way didn't have a plan for retirement. She'd been the international office manager at Lynfield College for 25 years and was 70 before she retired and says she didn't even think about it when she was 65.

"I didn't have a plan for my retirement years and think that might be one of the reasons I didn't retire earlier. When I did think about it, I couldn't really imagine what I'd do. People told me not to worry and that my life would still be full.

"I walk and belong to a book club but I didn't have hobbies, not things that involve me in groups When I first stopped work I just messed around Maggie Way, president of the Titirangi U3A. for about 18 months, "Take some time to think about it and then catching up with get out and go for it.” friends, doing odd jobs around the house. I enjoyed taking the time.

I could have rushed into something and found out I hated it and that may have detracted from retirement for me," Maggie says.

While Maggie concedes she gradually and comfortably slipped into retirement, she thinks a good number of people find it a huge shock to finish work one day, and wonder what to do the next.

"Your personal circumstances regarding family and finances make a big difference to how retirement will affect you. Everyone is different.

"Take some time out and think it through. And then get out and go for it. Active minds need a bit of feeding," Maggie says.

Maggie 'went for it' when she spotted a notice for U3A (University of the Third Age) at her local community house. U3A – with about 80 groups around New Zealand – is aimed at active seniors who 'want to enrich their lives with the joy of learning and the satisfaction of discovery.'

The Titirangi group was set up about 18 months ago and has a growing membership that meets monthly to hear guest speakers, discuss current affairs, books, music, scrabble, history, travel, healthy living and food. New this year are creative writing sessions, walks and talks, an outing to the pop-up Globe Shakespeare event, art appreciation and films.

"And if you're a member and fancy doing something that we're not already doing, we'll support you to set it up and get it going," says Maggie.

Also new for U3A Titirangi this year is its meeting venue. Meetings will be on Tuesdays, starting February 28 at 1.30pm, at West Lynn Garden, Parker Road, New Lynn. Subscriptions are $30 per annum.

Contact maggie.u3a.titirangi@gmail.com for more information.

– Moira Kennedy advertise with the fringe & reach 70,000+ readers

our place

Shining a light on our community spirit Titirangi has been graced by seven kilometres of fairy lights over the last two months, but vandalism may have put the popular community event in future jeopardy.

Due to this vandalism of the lighting display, it is unclear whether there will be another Glow festival next summer. “We need to raise funds to cover this vandalism,” says Natasha Berman, the event organiser. The team has set up a give-a-little page (https://givealittle. co.nz/cause/replacevandalisedxmaslights) for donations.

The lighting display, including the miniature village on the lawn on the Lopdell House corner (top right), was switched on at the end of the Glow festival at the beginning of December. The event, featuring performances by local groups and national stars, doubled as an opportunity to collect donations for three chosen charities: Key Assets, Family Action and Refugees as Survivors.

As a result of the community’s generosity the Glow team were able to provide over 300 food parcels and 200 individually wrapped gifts (some of which are pictured right) to these charities.

The support of many sponsors and local organisations was critical in making the festival and lighting displays possible. Natasha is particularly grateful for the support from the Waitakere Ranges Local Board and the Trusts Community Foundation and the many hours of volunteer work from the Titirangi Fire Brigade.

“The Glow Event, I believe, is a much needed event in the social calender of Titirangi,” says Natasha. “but we can not go ahead with another event without the community’s help,” says Natasha who is actively looking for more people to get involved. (Contact tash@bllv. co.nz to find out more.)

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our place

An opportunity to tell your story

Students from Glen Eden Intermediate School who won the 2016 West Auckland Historical Society’s Bullock Trophy.

Entries for the annual Capturing the West essay competition are now open. The competition is for writers with a story to tell to present their own exploration into the local history of West Auckland.

The competition, in memory of JT Diamond, is an initiative of the West Auckland Historical Society, and attracts entries in a variety of categories from local schools and other aspiring historians, both amateur and profssional.

Although entries for the competition are open until Friday, September 29 2017 It is never too early to begin planning an essay.

The Society would like to see more contributions to the adult categories as it believes that there are a vast number of people who have a story to tell.

Among the categories are Memories (an essay based on your own experience or upon another person’s recollections) and Research (an essay based on research that includes the use of archival material such as oral histories, photographs, diaries and letters).

The essays must be solely on West Auckland subject matter, and the West Auckland Research Centre at the Henderson Library and the Learning Centres at other local libraries are excellent resources and happy to help writers with their research and enquiries.

The 2016 competition saw many valuable additions

to the historical record of West Auckland created by the participants. Among the prize-winners were: Student Primary School - Memories First: Lucy Anne Ross, Woodlands Park School for 100 years of Exhibition Drive Primary School - Historical Research First (and also the Frank Morris Photographic Prize for best use of photographs in an essay): Michelle Kenyon, Oratia District School for My Little School in the Valley Intermediate School – Historical Research First: Anna Burton, Glen Eden Intermediate School for A Museum of Memories Second: Poppy Samson, Glen Eden Intermediate School for The Titirangi Theatre Third: Sarka Ludvigova, Glen Eden Intermediate School for Waikumete Cemetery Intermediate School - Memories First: Joshua Rae, Glen Eden Intermediate School for Changing Today, Saving Tomorrow [Vision West Community Trust] Second: Abigail Shin-Kelso, Glen Eden Intermediate School for Pinesong Golf Course Third: Myah Eketone, Glen Eden Intermediate School for Helping the Youth, Saving the Future [The EXCEL School of Performing Arts] Secondary School Research Highly Commended & the Sir Bob Harvey Book Prize Darland Kenyon, Henderson High School for Glen Eden – My Hometown Adult Highly Commended & the West Auckland Historical Society Book Prize: Trevor Pollard for The Demise of the Opou Hall The West Auckland Historical Society Bullock Trophy was awarded to Glen Eden Intermediate School.

For more information phone the Society on 836 5917 or email info@westaucklandhistory.org.nz – Fiona Drummond

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The Fringe FEBRUARY 2017

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our place

Into the future Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be involved in a drama production?

Waiatarua Performing Arts Trust could be a great place to find out.

The Trust is looking for a new wave of people to become involved in rebuilding this reputable theatrical group. Five trustees are currently in place, but many more people are needed to help on the production committee and in other ways. A healthy bank account exists for future productions.

If you are interested, send your contact details to Celia WoodCalvert (celiawoodcalvert@gmail. com). There is a gathering planned where more information will be provided.

All enquiries are welcome and both experienced theatre people and novices are encourged to get involved.

Come Dancing Waitemata Scottish Country Dancing meets every Tuesday evening, from March 7 to the end of November.

The club offers a night of Scottish Country Dancing and meets at Kelston Community Centre on the corner of Awaroa and Great North Roads.

Beginner classes run from 7.00pm to 8.00pm with regular dancing running from 8.00pm to 10.00pm. No partners or prior experience are necessary.

The first night is free. The annual fee of $50.00 includes the opportunity to participate in other Scottish dance evenings throughout Auckland as well as a variety of shows, musical performances, dinners, and orthodontic assessment Early Dr Nitin Raniga ceilidhs For more details call 838 7263. a wise investment Orthodontist

Dr Nitin Raniga, local member of the New Zealand Association of BDSsays (Otago), (Otago), Orthodontists (NZAO), the best ageDCInDent for your child to see a specialist is as soonMOrth as you notice a problem.

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An orthodontist is a registered dentist who has gone on to complete an additional 2-3 years of fulltime postgraduate university education in specialist orthodontics. All members of the NZAO are trained in the appropriate use of the full range of available orthodontic appliances, and undertake continual study and professional development to stay on top of the latest trends and improvements in orthodontic treatment.

Phone (09) 627 3555 nitin@aucklandortho.co.nz www.aucklandortho.co.nz

Dr Raniga says early treatment by a specialist can reduce or occasionally eliminate the need for more extensive treatment at a later age. “Orthodontists spend a great deal of their post graduate training studying facial growth and development,” says Dr Raniga. There is much less stigma around wearing braces and orthodontic appliances, compared with what parents may recall from their own childhood. “Teenagers will actually adnag Mum and Dad for an appointment.

Our children know the value of a beautiful, functional smile that will last them a lifetime, and they’re willing to put the work in now. If that’s not a wise investment, I don’t know what is.”

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We help thousands of birds each year We are community focused Every bird in New Zealand is a NZ bird to us A gift of a bequest would ensure that New Zealand Bird Rescue Charitable Trust in Green Bay can continue to do the work that we have been doing for over 30 years.

Please remember the work of New Zealand Bird Rescue Charitable Trust when you are updating your will.

Contact us for more information

Office Manager info@birdrescue.org.nz or phone (09) 816 9219 x1 please support our advertisers – they support us

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The Fringe FEBRUARY 2017

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art & about with naomi mccleary

The return of a piece of our ceramic history

George Boyd, above, was the founder of Newton Potteries. Four plinths topped with urns graced his grave and the two surviving plinths have now been returned to Waikumete. One is pictured below.

Last year saw some significant exhibitions and events which celebrated the rich history of clay in the west: the Portage Ceramics Awards, a retrospective of 50 years of the work of John Parker and the Auckland Festival of Ceramics – curated by local historian Robyn Mason and ceramic artist Suzy Dunser.

In New Lynn we have Te Toi Uku Clayworks, a small but perfectly formed museum dedicated to preserving the legacy of commercial ceramics in Auckland. And now a lovely story has come to me from Lady Barbara Harvey, which adds lustre to this very important part of the Waitakere heritage.

Firstly, all power to the Friends of Waikumete and their fierce determination to retrieve and cherish the stories and artefacts that reside in our beautiful Waikumete Cemetery.

Four ceramic plinths, topped with graceful urns once decorated the ornate grave of George and Helen Boyd. George was the founder of Newton Potteries and manufactured a massive range of decorative and industrial pottery.

As a couple they were generous benefactors to both the City Gallery and Auckland parks, with gifts of statuary and paintings. Indeed Helen’s name is inscribed on the benefactors wall in the Gallery and on her grave

she is described thus: In the true spirit of charity she provided for the orphan and essayed by ornamenting the public parks with sculpture and by gifts to the Art Gallery to add to the national enjoyment of the people. Aged 71 years.

1898.

Over time vandals destroyed two of the plinths and all the urns. In the 1960s revered local historian Jack Diamond arranged with the Auckland Museum for the safe keeping of the surviving two plinths. The slender evidence of this is a handwritten note from Diamond, which was in the possession of Mary Gilligan, another well-known local historian.

In 2012 the Friends of Waikumete first articulated a vision to have these historic plinths returned to their rightful home and this progressed to meetings with museum staff. Museums are institutions of acquisition and it is probably not surprising that they were very reluctant to lose the plinths.

An offer to give one back and keep the other was not accepted by our doughty 'Friends' and heritage architect Graeme Burgess was brought in to lend some professional gravitas.

Finally it was agreed that both the plinths would be returned. Of course they can’t be restored to the grave, but they now grace the doorway of the crematorium chapel and provide pleasure and a sense of history for all who visit.

When objects are in, or near, their place of origin their meaning and significance is powerfully enhanced.

While these beautiful plinths are not on the actual tomb, they are only a few hundred metres away.

A function was held at the chapel late last year when local kuia blessed the plinths and welcomed them back.

George and Helen would be pleased.

The ‘Friends’ are grateful to cemetery manager Roscoe Webb and all who assisted on both sides to bring the plinths home. We should all be grateful for the tireless and often unsung work of the Friends of Waikumete.

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The Fringe FEBRUARY 2017

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art & about with naomi mccleary

Artist of the Month: Vivienne Stone

2016 was a marvellous year for the McCahon House Residency and Museum. The trust celebrated 10 years of delivering arguably the best contemporary arts residency programme in New Zealand and partnered with Te Uru to mount A Table of One's Own: The Creative Life of Anne McCahon. This deeply moving exhibition remains open until February 12.

Without sacrificing time or space for the three New Zealand artists who take up residency each year, the trust has confirmed its first international residency for 2017. Japanese artist Taro Shinoda will arrive in September of this year, bringing an international context to the local arts scene.

To nurture this very full programme, the trust has welcomed a new executive director, Vivienne Stone.

Viv has had a career spanning both the arts and commercial worlds. She has been an independent producer in the arts industry across theatre, dance, music, film and contemporary visual arts projects.

In her varied career she counts her term as director of South Island Arts Projects (now The Physics Room) and being Tour Manager for the sellout season of Hone Kouka’s play Waiora at the Brighton International Festival of the Arts as highlights. As a digital producer she also developed the interactive touch-screen displays for Te Papa.

Viv established and headed up Saatchi & Saatchi New Zealand’s digital division and has had an extensive career developing digital marketing solutions for a range of New Zealand and international brands including work with The New Zealand Arts Foundation, International Festival of the Arts and the City Gallery, Wellington. For the last few years she’s been working as a conduit between the commercial and cultural sectors.

I am intrigued by another of her current projects. Viv is interim chair and lead creative content developer of Margaret Mahy’s Imaginarium – a laboratory for upside down thinking. This is a new storytelling workshop initiative for New Zealand children inspired

by Margaret Mahy’s work, to be launched this year. Over the years, Margaret Mahy made two guest appearances at the Going West Books and Writers Festival, one in her signature wild wig, weaving magic at a children's event and another in a less familiar role as an essayist.

In Viv's words: “I feel lucky to have the opportunity to work alongside the McCahon House Trust. I love the McCahon House Museum and Artist’s Residency and I feel excited by opportunities to extend the education programme, engage new audiences and build on the very good work that the Trust and outgoing director Diane Blomfield have achieved to date.”

Vivienne Stone is the new executive director of the McCahon House trust.

The laser light display during the Glow festival late last year was spectacular!

THE CLUB TITIRANGI

Friday, February 10, Band: Wild Card Trio, No Cover Charge, 8PM, Non-Members Welcome.

Tuesday, February 14, Quentin's Quiz, 7PM

FRIDAY 24th FEBRUARY

New members always welcome.

Join Titirangi RSA online.

Friday, February 24, Open Mic Jam Night, No Cover Charge, 8:30PM Buy tickets online.

News & events 24/7.

www.titirangirsa.co.nz or phone 817 6415

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11

places to go

WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN IN THE WEST...

Event organisers: Do you have an upcoming event you'd like listed in The Fringe? Send the details, including a contact person and number, to info@fringemedia.co.nz.

Readers: While we take care to ensure listings are correct, errors may occur. Check with the contact person wherever possible.

february w – 5, The Portage Ceramic Awards; Te Uru, 420 Titirangi Road. Phone 817 8087.

w – February 12, Additions, an unconventional

jewellery showcase featuring the work of 10 local artists; Corban Estate Arts Centre. Phone 838 4455. w – February 12, B is for BFN, an examination of language and identity by Serene Timoteo; Corban Estate Arts Centre. Phone 838 4455. w – February 12, Reflections – paintings by Stefanie Kroeger and glasswork by Sofia Athineou; West Coast Gallery, Seaview Road, Piha; open seven days, 10am-5pm.

Phone 818 2029, www.westcoastgallery.co.nz. w – 12, The Creative Life of Anne McCahon; Te Uru, 420 Titirangi Road. Phone 817 8087. w – 26, The Anniversary Show: 30 years later; Te Uru, 420 Titirangi Road. Phone 817 8087. w 5, French Market; French Bay Yacht Club, bottom of Otitori Bay Road. Phone 817 7609 or visit www.frenchbay. org.nz. w 5, Pony Rides, Huia Road Horse Club; 436B Huia Road, Laingholm; 3-4pm; $5 per child per ride. Phone 027 499 1732.

w 5, Waikumete Cemetery Guided Walk, Ghosts of Our w 16, Waitakere Forest and Bird talk: Adelia Hallett

Past; meet at the Chapel of Faith in the Oaks; 10am-12pm or 4pm-6pm; gold coin donation. Phone Ruth 818 4352. w 8 and 15, Business Development Workshop with West Means Business; Lopdell House Seminar Room, Level 1, 418 Titirangi Road; 9.30-11.30am; Free. Phone 837 1471 or email wmb@west.org.nz to register. w 9, Bridge lessons start; Waitemata Bridge Club, Covil Ave, Te Atatu South; 7pm. Phone Ken on 021 615 626 or email waitematabc@xtra.co.nz. w 11 – April 16, Heat: solar revolutions, an art event that reflects on climate change; Te Uru, 420 Titirangi Road. Phone 817 8087. w 11, Titirangi Folk Music Club Concert: Burns Night Special. Floor singers in the first half; Titirangi Beach Hall, Titirangi Beach Road, Titirangi; 8pm; $8, members $5, under 18 free. Phone Ian 813 2305 or Tricia 818 5659. w 12, French Bay Yacht Club Regatta, with up to 100 boats racing; French Bay, bottom of Otitori Road. Phone 817 7609 or visit www.frenchbay.org.nz. w 12, Craft fair with gifts, tea and coffee, food; West Lynn Garden & Butterfly House, 73 Parker Avenue, New Lynn; 10am-3pm. Phone Mary 834 6870. w 14, Waste Free Parenting workshop; Kelston Community Centre, corner of Awaroa and Great North Roads; 7pm; $30 single, $35 double and receive a $90 goodie bag. www.facebook.com/ events/423438564713331/ w 15, Lopdell Precinct Community Film night, Big Eyes (M); Lopdell House Theatre, 418 Titirangi Road; 6.15pm and 8.15pm; Free. No advance tickets. Phone 817 2583.

on the impact of climate change in the Waitakere area; Kelston Community Centre, corner Awaroa and Great North Roads; 7.30pm; gold coin donation. Phone Liz 833 4145. w 18 – March 19. The Memorandum of Nature – ceramics by Sang Sool Shim and Keum Sun Lee West Coast Gallery, Seaview Road, Piha; open seven days, 10am-5pm.

Phone 818 2029, www.westcoastgallery.co.nz. w 19, West Coast Art Festival, a free, fun, family event funded by the Waitakere Ranges Local Board and organised by the West Coast Community Arts Trust with free art activities, sand sculptures and competition, displays, live music, performances and food; Piha Beach (north of Lion Rock); 9am-3pm. For more information phone 09 812 8029 or go to westcoastgallery.co.nz. w 21, SeniorNet West Auckland monthly meeting; Kelston Community Centre, corner of Awaroa and Great North Roads; 10am; $2.00 Phone 837 7600 or 827 2336. w 24, Titirangi Folk Music Friends on Friday. Share your music with a small friendly group; Titirangi Beach Hall, Titirangi Beach Road, Titirangi; 8pm; $3, under 18 free.

Phone Rosemary 814 8897 or Margaret 818 1434. w 24, New season of Flicks cinema starts with Captain Fantastic (M); Lopdell House Theatre, 418 Titirangi Road; 10.30am and 8.15pm. Phone 818 2489 for bookings bookings. w 25, Titirangi Village Market, art, craft, produce and music; Titirangi War Memorial Hall, 500 South Titirangi Road; 10am-2pm. Contact Tess on tvm.manager@gmail. com or phone 022 631 9436.

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places to go w 25 and 26, The Seven Rays of Life workshop, an

march and beyond w 3 March, Seaweek at Flicks: Sonic Sea (first showing in

New Zealand); Lopdell House Theatre, 418 Titirangi Road; 10.30am and 8.15pm. Phone 818 2489 for bookings. w 5 March, Waikumete Cemetery Guided Walk, A Debt That All Men Pay; meet at Corban Mausoleum on Orchid Rise; 10am-12pm or 4pm-6pm; gold coin donation. Visit Friends of Waikumete’s Facebook page or phone Ruth 818 4352.

There is so much happening in and around our community, including many weekly events, that we can’t fit everything into these listings. To find out more about whatever you are interested in, from Air Scouts to yoga and almost everything in between, visit:

www.fringemedia.co.nz/ourplace.

l WHERE IT’S AT:

WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN IN THE WEST...

introduction to this esoteric view of the universe and the cosmic energies of the seven rays; Piha; 9am-5pm.

Contact Rodney or Jill on 812 8378 or 021 243 2619 or poulston@gmail.com to register. w 25 – May 21, Picturing Asia: Double Take, the photography of Brian Brake and Steve McCurry; Te Uru, 420 Titirangi Road. Phone 817 8087. w 28, Titirangi U3A with a range of activities including study groups, discussions, speakers and more; West Lynn Garden, 73 Parker Road, New Lynn; 1.30pm. Contact maggie.u3a.titirangi@gmail.com.

• Corban Estate Arts Centre, 426 Great North Road, Henderson, 10am–4.30pm daily.

838 4455.

• Kelston Community Centre, corner of Awaroa and Great North Roads, Kelston.

• McCahon House Museum, 67 Otitori Bay Rd; 1-4pm, Wednesday – Sunday, except public holidays. Outside these hours by appointment. 817 6148 or mccahon@mccahonhouse.org.nz.

• Playhouse Theatre, 15 Glendale Road, Glen Eden. 818 5751.

• EcoMatters Environment Trust, 1 Olympic Place, New Lynn, 10am–4pm Mon-Fri, 10am–1pm Sat, or by appointment. 826 4276; info@ecomatters.org.nz.

• Te Uru Waitakere Contemporary Gallery, 420 Titirangi Road, Titirangi, 10am–4.30pm daily. 817 8087; email info@teuru.org. nz.

• Titirangi Theatre, Lopdell House, Titirangi, 817 5812; infoline 817 5951; www. titirangitheatre.co.nz.

• Upstairs Gallery, Level 1, Lopdell House, 418 Titirangi Road, 10am–4.30pm daily.

817 4278. www.upstairs.org.nz.

• West Coast Gallery, Seaview Road, Piha, Open seven days, 10am–5pm. 812 8029. www.westcoastgallery.co.nz.

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things to do

HILLARY RACE A SELL-OUT Now in its fourth year, The Hillary Race runners, 16% are from outside across the hills and beaches of the West Auckland. coast has a waiting list of entrants keen to “The attraction is the variety conquer their personal Everest. in scenery and running terrain.

The annual endurance race takes place on Stunning views throughout February 25 this year and again offers hardy the trail, rugged west coast souls a choice of a 16km walk or run, and beaches, magnificent native 34km and 80km trail runs. The record time bush, including ancient for the 80km is a gut-busting 8 hours and kauri trees, large waterfalls 23 minutes. All the routes follow The Hillary and sand dunes, cliff tops Trail, opened in 2010 after several tracks and marshlands – there is were linked to form one, stretching from the something for everyone. A few Arataki Visitor Centre to Muriwai. international runners found it The Hillary Trail run has something for everyone.

Organiser of the event is Laingholm Photo credit: Photos4Sale really unique to have an event resident Shaun Collins, who enjoys sharing his love of running a trail that has big climbs but keeps coming back to sea level – literally that he was the first to run. He was also the first to run a ‘Double because you keep arriving at nice beaches before climbing back up Hillary’ and has run the trail 10 times in total. into the bush again,” says Shaun.

“The run has grown in popularity to the point where we reached The path to establishing the run was not an easy one. Forces capacity on the 80km (125 people) and 16km (300 people) options in within the council and local interest groups argued the run would early January, and have created a waiting list function. This leaves just contribute to kauri dieback disease but the parties agreed on a 43 places on the 34km run,” says Shaun. system of footwash stations that would ensure a minimal chance of The run is now established on the international circuit, and is part contributing to the spread of the disease. And so the race was born of the Oceania Sky Runner Series. Former Mayor of Waitakere City, Sir and the foot washing stations have been spectacularly successful.

Bob Harvey, was a great advocate of the creation of the Hillary Trail, “In the past three events there has been detailed monitoring and and hoped it would contribute to tourism in the area. His dream has testing of samples taken on the day and results have shown the event come true with runners from overseas now making up 24% of the to be 100% clear of spreading kauri dieback. All 18 footwash stations Council-imposed limit of 675 participants and, of the New Zealand are manned ensuring 100% compliance. The event helps to increase awareness of the disease, and how to combat it, and we are proud to help,” says Shaun.

If you are not up to the rigours of Shaun’s runs and walks you can still be a part of The Hillary by joining the team of 125 volunteers needed to ensure the safety, feeding and correct direction of the participants. A donation will be made to any group that can help.

Contact shaun@lacticturkey.co.nz. www.thehillary.co.nz – Tony Waring

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Let The Fringe know Email us on info@fringemedia.co.nz

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our place

Proud

Iconic festival to take a break It’s official: the Titirangi Festival of Music will take a break for 2017. The festival trust was unable to obtain suitable dates at the Titirangi War Memorial Hall, where the major concerts have always been hosted.

The trust also felt that taking a break for a year would provide an opportunity to reconsider the festival and draw up some new ideas and initiatives.

Over the last 11 years TFM has brought many great acts to play in and around Titirangi and has offered many West Auckland musicians, young and old, a chance to play on stages throughout the village.

The festival has been recognised for offering a wide range of events as part of its programme, from the family-friendly ‘Art trail’ to free music stages, workshops, gigs in local venues and a major concert series that would be the envy of many music festivals. Among the headline acts to have performed are Te Vaka, One Million Dollars, Sola Rosa, Pitch Black, The Phoenix Foundation, Moana and the Tribe, Nathan Haines, dDub, Frank Gibson jnr, the Nairobi Trio, Emma Paki, Shona Laing, Kora and many, many more. The 2016 event was headlined by The Black Seeds and Dave Dobbyn, along with a debut appearance by the Auckland Philharmonic Orchestra.

An army of volunteers and the work of skilled locals and professionals has contributed to the running of the event every year and the festival has also been a training ground for those interested in event work.

Local business sponsorship and major funding from The Trust Community Foundation, the Waitakere Ranges Local Board and Foundation North have enabled the festival to exist.

The festival trust will look strategically at how the festival is run and what it is achieving and looks forward to returning refreshed in 2018.

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Performers at the 2016 TFM included The Black Seeds (top), Avondale College’s jazz band and Dave Dobbyn (right).

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bandstanding – music in the west with susannah bridges

Introducing Paper Cranes

Fraser and Naomi Browne: playing for weddings led to their own romance.

  

Paper Cranes are husband and wife duo Fraser and Naomi Browne. The multi-instrumentalists gig regularly around Auckland and their debut album The Road Home reached 29 on the charts in 2015.

Fraser tells us more about Paper Cranes from the couple’s home in Huia where, he says, they are finding plenty of inspiration to write their follow up album.

“We’ve spent most of the last year writing material at Huia, and there has been a lot of interesting material to work with”.

While the surroundings are an obvious influence the duo also write about topical news and events “not just because it’s good material for songs, but because it’s interesting in itself. So the US elections, Trump, Brexit and everything happening in Europe has been really interesting. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a resurgence in protest music soon.,” he says Fraser and Naomi met when playing in covers bands for weddings. “We just kept getting thrown together to play in wedding bands, which led to a romance for us,” laughs Fraser. “Then we started writing material and eventually decided to do something with it by playing live and recording. The EP Oh, Love! was released in September 2012, along with the single Little Darling which received New Zealand On Air funding after the band topped The Audience chart in October of that year.

Starting out on the piano provided a good musical foundation, and both were encouraged to do concerts and exams as young kids. “I’ve always been interested in improvising and composing music,” Fraser explains, “I think I wrote my first song aged about three or four, maybe five. I played one song that I wrote when I was about seven years old so much that I can still remember how to play it!”

A love of good company – and good musical company – has led to a band forming around the core

duo. “The songs are always written as a duo, though, which means they can be stripped back to just the two of us if we want.”

Fraser says the new album is “very peaceful, beautiful music inspired by where we live, but Huia is obviously also part of Auckland – a busy, bustling little city – so there is a tension there which seems to be coming out in the music.”

Paper Cranes’ sound can be described as warm, melancholy, quiet and intricate – folk music that harks back to its heady heyday. Think old brick fireplaces, good wine, books and conversation, love and loss, and everyday life. Fraser further explains the duo’s non-environmental influences: “I find that books often inspire a lyric or idea – for example, one of our new songs Feather came from a passage in a Norman Mailer novel. I’m always reading things that put me on tangents that often lead to songs. Musically I have a few artists I keep going back to – Jose Gonzalez, Sufjan Stevens, Fleet Foxes, Civil Wars, Father John Misty, Nick Drake, Bob Dylan, Simon and Garfunkel”.

Born in Japan, Naomi’s influences are quite different to the average New Zealander and she is interested in Japanese instruments such as the shakuhachi (which she plays).

With family connections at Huia the couple had been visiting the area for many years. After Fraser realised that he wrote his best material there, the couple decided to make it into a longer term plan.

“There’s lots there to inspire you if you want to find a song. But if you want to just hide away it’s great for that too. Huia really feels like it’s outside Auckland. It has its own flavour, and for the most part, we’ve found being out there really peaceful. It gives you a real perspective on Auckland, almost as an outsider.”

Paper Cranes will soon be back in the recording studio. “We’ve written about 15 tracks for a new record, so hopefully we can get booked in, then release something new. Sometimes these things take time but we’re almost ready to go,” says Fraser.

Check out their sound or contact Paper Cranes at papercranes.co.nz

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Keeping mind and body active Mary Mayne has always loved turning her hand to crafts. As a girl she learned how to pluck sheep’s wool from farmers’ fences and to spin, dye and knit it. Sewing and crochet were taught in primary school.

“It was a different time then,” she says, “but I still love my crafts and get great pleasure sharing them with others.”

So much so that when Mary and her family celebrated her 80th birthday at West Lynn Garden last year, she thought it would be a great spot at run a craft market.

That wasn’t anything Mary had ever done before but she wasn’t to be daunted. A few calls to friends, a mention on a relative’s Facebook page and her phone began to ring. Late last year the market was underway, and is now being held every month. It’s a great opportunity for those keen to sell crafts, gifts and food they’ve created.

“Crafters of all ages are a marvellous crowd. They’re all keen to make things and have an outlet for their work and we’re really pleased with the community support,” she says.

“It’s essential for older people to be involved with things. I know so many mature people who sit at home watching TV or polishing a piece of silver that’s already polished. Some groan that they never go anywhere or have visitors but that’s because their friends are probably off doing other stuff and being happy,” Mary says.

“Meeting new people is so much fun so my idea is to get out there and do what makes you happy. Whatever it is, don’t say you’ll do it. Just do it.”

One of the exhibitors at Mary’s craft market is John Campbell who retired at 65 after 50 years in the printing industry. He had no intention of sitting around and took up odd jobs including labouring and fruit picking.

But before long he realised there was more to life than that. He set about actively seeking something he enjoyed and it was then he came across a woman running an art market.

“I helped her out and as I’d gone to art school in the early 1950s – without any success – I tried my hand at oils and acrylics but really wasn’t any good. But this lady taught me how to do watercolours and I’ve never looked back,” says John.

Moving to Auckland and meeting his partner, Pat, John discovered his artistic talents had been lying “deep and asleep” inside him.

“I saw people making postcards and prints and knew I could do that with my printing experience and then, by chance, I met a young Chinese woman who was a typesetter who encouraged me even further. She keeps all my work on file and each year we put out calendars, prints and cards.”

John joined the Titirangi Painters’ Group – he’s now president – and about six months ago bought a gazebo and has become a regular at Titirangi Village and Coatesville markets and the craft market at West Lynn Garden.

“I don’t copy anyone’s work. I paint because I enjoy it and if I sell anything, that’s a bonus,” says John “Get out there and find something you like and enjoy. When you’re out and about, it’s a great boost to your self-esteem. You have to keep your mind going.”

John says the Titirangi Painters’ Group has members ranging in age from 20s to 80s and while it’s not there to tutor, it’s a positive group offering encouragement to those with an artistic bent. The group also stages an annual public exhibition of its members’ work.

– Moira Kennedy

Mary Mayne and John Campbell: Being involved and keeping active minds

The Craft Market at West Lynn Garden (73 Parker Avenue, New Lynn) takes place on the second Sunday of each month at 10am-3pm. For more information phone 834 6870.

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our place

Love Your Coast Registered New Zealand charity, Sustainable Coastlines is looking to build on the success of its first clean-up and education tour around the Manukau Harbour in 2016 with over a month of activities beginning on February 20 this year.

With 386 kilometres of coastline, attempting to clean up the entire coast of the Manukau — New Zealand’s second largest natural harbour – is a massive task and volunteers, corporates, schools and community groups are invited to organise and take part in clean-up activities, with support from Sustainable Coastlines’ staff and trained ‘Love Your Coast’ ambassadors. Although the organisation is planning a major community clean-up day on Saturday, March 4 activities can take place at other times.

Sustainable Coastlines is also coordinating a major Evening at Titirangi Beach For more information contact Fletcher on 021 871 918 or email educational programme for schools and offers interested schools a no-cost, educational presentation and optional beach clean-up. fletcher@sustainablecoastlines.org.

Sustainable Coastlines is also looking for assistance from “caring Experienced presenters — who have delivered presentations to more than 155,000 people — will use imagery, short films and a dynamic corporates” that would like to get behind this project. The charity presentation to build an understanding about the challenges and needs to raise funds to cover essential logistical, health and safety, effects of litter in the marine environment and motivate students to transport and training costs. Such sponsorship is crucial to ensure the project’s success. For a modest fee (built into the sponsorship look after their local stretch of coast.

The team has already coordinated coastal clean-up events for over options) the charity can also coordinate a clean-up just for the 52,000 volunteers to date and provides rubbish sacks, gloves and sponsoring organisation.

For information on sponsorship options and benefits email Camden health and safety equipment (at no cost to the school or community on camden@sustainablecoastlines.org or call 021 212 7287. group).

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words on wine with lindsay nash

Getting behind the label Don’t judge a book by its cover. A good wine needs no bush. Looks aren’t everything. I’ve heard it all but nevertheless, some wine labels can be very appealing.

A top example would have to be Château Mouton Rothschild where, since 1945, a leading contemporary artist has been commissioned to design the label. The rollcall includes Picasso, Dali, Chagall, Henry Moore, Francis Bacon and Andy Warhol. Baron Philippe de Rothschild started it, Baroness Philippine took over, and now her younger son Julien de Beaumarchais does the choosing.

But it was something less imposing that caught my attention, Johnny Q 2013 Cabernet Sauvignon (about $17). The label quotes winemaker John Quarisa, “Don’t take life too seriously! Some might say Johnny Q is a little full bodied and quite dense… but make your own judgement.”

This wine does indeed live up to its cover, with near opaque appearance, a berry fruit bouquet and a touch of chocolate in its fullbodied flavour (14.5% alcohol). There’s a slight tannin grip at the end and gentle acid to hold it together.

The dancing Bacchus on the Thornbury bottle is another attractive label and the 2016 Thornbury Pinot Gris (about $15) is correspondingly appealing. The champion pinot gris in the New World competition, it has a slightly piquant aroma, and a spicy pear and ginger flavour, off dry but with an acid spine.

Bubbly at Christmas included another New World champion, Brancott Estate Brut Cuvée ($11). It was pleasant drinking, dry and slightly yeasty, but clearly overshadowed by the Lindauer Special

Reserve Blanc de Blanc (about $15), a full-bodied, toasty, creamy mouthful.

A very pleasant surprise was the McWilliams Markview 2015 Chardonnay (under $15). I wrote earlier about the quality of their Inheritance range, often under $10, but this is a striking step up. It has a slight oatmeal aroma, not a big fruity mouth feel, but a certain elegance, with gentle oak coming in the after taste with nicely balanced acid. It’s great value.

Jared’s visit again provided some special treats, starting with a 2012 Highfields Chardonnay (about $33). I noted at first whiff the pleasure of a clearly identifiable Chardonnay bouquet: it swirled from the glass. Bottle age has helped bring a nice balance of acid, fruit and subtle oak, with a touch of minerality at the finish.

The next wine we tasted ‘blind’. It was clearly a mature white wine, though with little initial bouquet. The flavour was subtle, but growing in intensity given breathing time, a complex, elegant wine.

With a little prompting we identified it as a 2012 Neudorf Moutere Chardonnay (about $70). Seek it out for a very special occasion. As Michael Cooper says, “it has a reputation second to none among New Zealand Chardonnays.”

Our holiday travels included a stay in Martinborough, the delightful wine centre of the Wairarapa. At a Greytown restaurant we noted this in the wine list: "Malbec can be a bit of a hooligan on the block, with tattoos and hobnail boots, but this wine is wrapped up in a velvet cloak of 15 months in oak." With words like that, who cares about the label!

Volunteer “Green Coats” wanted at Waitakere Hospital Waitakere Hospital is looking for friendly, warm and dynamic volunteers to greet visitors, assist with general queries and show people around.

Waitemata District Health Board Volunteer Co-ordinator Genevieve Kabuya says the volunteers, better known at the hospital as Green Coats because of their uniforms, provide an invaluable service. She is looking for recruits of varying age, gender or ethnic background to strengthen the existing network.

“Hospitals can be very stressful places for people who are dealing with sickness – whether it be their own or in relation to a

loved one or friend,” she says. “To be greeted with a warm smile and escorted to wherever you’re going creates a welcoming and friendly environment and helps make the experience a little easier to deal with.”

Volunteers also manage and assist in the hospital shop.

“We believe in matching the right volunteers with the right skills with the right jobs,” Genevieve says.

Contact Genevieve Kabuya on 021544862 or email her at genevieve.kabuya@waitematadhb.govt.nz if you are interested in being a hospital volunteer.

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walking west with mick andrew

Bush-bashing up the Pararaha Stream Noon in Pararaha Bay – the breeze is warm, the black sand is scorching and the sun sits in a perfect circle of blue sky, as if the clouds themselves are courteously setting the stage. There is an obvious abundance of life in the surrounding wetland – paradise ducks cooling in the swamp, New Zealand dragonflies hovering about the flax, and tui and kereru gliding over the lush cliffs which loom over of the valley.

Pararaha Bay sits at the western edge of the ranges, between Karekare to the north and Whatipu to the south. Yet while those beaches can be accessed via road Pararaha can only be reached via the sprawling beach or the network of walks through the forested hills.

One such track – the route my companion and I used to get here – is the Buck Taylor, which begins at the Lone Kauri Road car park and meanders south west through variable forest and undulating terrain for 45 minutes. Reaching the edge of the forest plateau, it winds its way down the hillside to Pararaha, offering delightful views of the fluvial valley and foaming blue ocean beyond.

Once a waist deep mud trek, the last few years have seen Pararaha valley equipped with sturdy boardwalks which traverse the swamp, allowing walkers to explore the wetland and the beach with relative convenience. However, for those looking for a challenge, the valley track offers access to an alternative route back up to the hills: the Pararaha stream, popular with canyoneers, bush-bashers and those who prefer not to stay dry.

It can be accessed 15 minutes up the valley to the south east, next to the Les Ward shelter and Pararaha campsite. A rough path runs alongside the water, occasionally criss-crossing the stream, but my companion and I decided to take the more direct route and rock hop up the stream.

In the early stages the landscape is incredibly serene. Ponga and scrub teeter like green goats on the precipitous mound of Baldy to the left, while groves of manuka and nikau dominate the lower forest, interspersed festively with flowering northern rata. The gentle water runs crisp, clear and clean – a refreshing yet poignant feature at a time when, in other places, this most valuable resource is brazenly sullied.

After an hour’s walking and swimming, the water picks up speed and the stream acquires a new temperament. We clamber up several small waterfalls and, rather than poke around for the dry route somewhere in the surrounding bush, opt to wade through the kneedeep water.

The

Looking down Pararaha Stream through one of the gorge sections.

A roar upstream grows progressively louder and the walls of the valley begin to close in. Turning a corner, we encounter the first of several steep gorge sections through which a torrent flows. Most of these sections require a considerable amount of agility and patience and, due to the deepness of the pools, a reasonable amount of swimming.

After the gorge sections, we wade up the calmer waters for another hour, encountering a series of more manageable rock faces and pools that nonetheless require some careful manoeuvring.

Eventually we reach the point where Odin Timber Track crosses the stream. Heading north, the path ascends an immense flight of steps for 15 minutes before levelling out and gently dropping to the Lone Kauri Road car park. Accounting for many stops and much exploring the route took 6 hours from start to finish. Challenging and diverse enough to quench the adventurer’s thirst, the walk is immensely satisfying and is certainly a fine way to balance out those lazy summer days, many of which are still to come.

A local bush basher scales a rock wall on the Pararaha Stream.

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live @ the lounge

Lizard decides to take better care of himself Yeah gidday.

How's it all going with your summer? Hopefully the transition from 'jellyroll covered by a smart winter’s coat' to ‘taking that first long walk to the water's edge in last years togs (what was I thinking?) and if only I had a bit more of a tan’ wasn't too traumatic.

A good move is to begin with a trousers rolled up paddle on the muddy shores of Laingholm Beach rather than braving full exposure to the 'desperate housewives' littering Mission Bay. Oh yes, they do judge from behind those dinner plate sunglasses and 'tennis anyone?’ straw boaters.

"Look at that one. I'm sure I saw her on Botched."

Stuff em right? We all need Vitamin D and we're really considering easing up on the booze once we finish that great-value-for-money carton of sav. Cheaper by the dozen and guests are bound to just show up, so it's nice to have something chilled to offer friends.

Anyway, shut up, we're on holiday.

This year Shaz and me have decided to take better care of ourselves. (Just last night she limited herself to the one bottle.) With that in mind, I pulled my comb-over into a man-bun, brushed the toast crumbs from my very hipster, grey beard and practised a couple of smiles in the mirror so I didn't show too many yellowing teeth. The image looking back at me had an alarming resemblance to my Dad – my Dad when he was quite old. Yikes. (By the way, have you noticed how white celebrities teeth are now? They look like Clutch Cargo. Not even a Trump supporter is that white.)

I had an appointment at the Waitakere Hospital to have a team of strangers insert a camera up me bum although I’d been assured

on the phone by a lady that had checked my samples that there was nothing to be worried about. This screening is free to us over 50 types. Cool, but I feel a bit sorry for the person who gets all those courier packs on a Monday morning. They know it's not going to be a scented candle.

The lady on the phone went on to say that the team, yes, team of professionals had done this many times. It's routine and although I'd be awake, they would give me something so I wouldn't remember a thing. This was beginning to sound a lot like that movie The Hangover.

I’ve also been convinced by the recent 'blue campaign' encouraging men to man up and get the cheeky finger. I made the appointment and on the day popped down to the local clinic only to find that my regular doc was crook and his replacement on the day was a Heidi Klum look-a-like. She politely asked me to get ready, so I dropped me tweeds only to be told not to be a 'silly man', it was a blood test. I pulled up my pants, not in the least embarrassed. Who hasn't planned their day to include showing their kiwi fruit to a beautiful, young, I've-seen-it-all-before, female doctor exposing far too much cleavage? My morning was turning into an episode of Little Britain. I half expected her to say 'the computer says no'.

I have to nip to the dunny before the drive to the hospital so I'll let you know how it goes a bit later.

Sorry if this is all a bit graphic but apparently we men wait too long to visit the doctors and don't talk about our bodies. I wonder why.

To be continued…

FRINGEADLTD.pdf Later, Lizard.

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The Fringe FEBRUARY 2017

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