Freedom Sisters Magazine | Women to Watch | June 2021

JUNE 2021 • VOL . 1 • ISSUE 6

•AMPLIFY WOMEN VETERANS•

The Secret yourself

•MAGAZINE•

•AMPLIFY WOMEN VETERANS•

•MAGAZINE•

June2021 | Vol. 1 | Issue 6 Publisher Freedom Sisters Media, LLC EditHER-in-Chief Managing EditHER Contributing WritHERs HER Life MentHERship HERstory FoundHER HER Next Mission

Woman Warrior

HighlightHER SHEro Activation Cover Photographer

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Kerri Jeter E.V. Moore

Naviere Walkewicz | Aaliyah Al-Mahdi Brie Burgett | Amber Valencia Brittany Lara | Jacqueline Zappey | Allaina Rapps Elis Salamone | Ana Valencia Kerri Jeter Annette Whittenberger | Joanna Sweatt Amy Forsythe | Susanna Keilman | Laura Jones Susanna Keilman | Kori Yates Cynthia Cline | Jennifer Ballou Kerri Jeter Kerri Jeter Lisa Helfert

inside Magazine or App editHERs@freedomsisters.com info@freedomsisters.com

Copyright | 2020-2021 | Freedom Sisters Media LLC Freedom Sisters Media respects the rights of all writeHERs, Photographers, Artists, and copyright holders. Consequently, all works that appear on this platform do so with the consent of the writeHER/s or the copyright holder. No image or information display on this site may be reproduced, transmitted, or copied without the express written permission of Freedom Sisters Media. Contravention is an infringement of the Copyright Act and its amendments and may be subject to legal action.

FreedomSisters, VetHERan, MentHERship, EditHER, SuperSHEro, highlightHER, WriteHER, FoundHER, LeadHER are trademarks of Kerri jeter.

•AMPLIFY WOMEN VETERANS•

•MAGAZINE•

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CONTENTS 04

EditHER's Note

06

HealthiHER you: Eat to lose weight.

How living your best life can be an inspHERation to otHERs. Start a homestead from the ground up.

10

From military momma to momprenuer—Theresea Black invites us into her sweet success as the FoundHER of Bon Appésweet .

14

20 25 29

34

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How to find faith and community after trauma. You are created to live life abundantly—not to simply survive.

43

Eddie Loredo's widow shares her story of heartache and how she stays connected with her late husband.

WWW.FREEDOMSISTERS.COM

A catalyst for change: The story behind the Air Force's new hair policy.

MotHERhood—Where strength and fear collide.

49

Theresea Black: An entrepreneurial life of sweet success.

60

Identity: finding yourself and your purpose.

CatalyzHER Navy Communicator shares secrets to online success with authentic storytelling.

Transition into the unknown.

Sisterhood is Powerful

63 66

110

The secret to finding yourself.

Go the distance with a foundation of fitness.

Battle Rhythm—Designing the life you love.

73 75 84 87 91 105

Watch your six From Survive to Thrive 10 Affirmations women warriors need daily Behind the Gold Star: An honor no one wants.

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June HighlightHER

111 113

WriteHER Connection ActivateHER

JUNE

WOMEN TO WATCH One of my favorite parts of the core mission of Freedom Sisters Media is storytelling and to encourage women to show up authentically as themselves.

We are officially halfway through our first year of publishing the FreedomSisters Magazine and have just switched platforms to better serve you.

You have grown to love our emphasis on HER, it's one small way that we can continue to highlight the beautifully brave VetHERans...see doesn't that just feel nice and empowering?

We stand ready month after month to bring you content that empowers you to succeed and see your value as a woman warrior.

In case you need the reminder....you are beautiful and wonderfully made. A woman of valor, strength, resilient-driven with unmatched bravery and boldness.

Another incredible woman with a like-minded mission shares how she is using social media as a way to leave an impact and be the influenceHER we all need in our circle. Theresa Carpenter, has so much to give, even her dog, Jayda, is an Instagram star.

We have witnessed a HERstorical moment for women who are still wearing the uniform, with the hair policy changes for our Air Force and Army Sisters. We got the inside scoop from the team behind the well-deserved change.

We unlock some more tips and innovative ideas for your next mission.

Lastly, as Women Warriors, we have seen and lived through some really remarkable things and really big Many states have adopted June 12th as Women Veterans challenges, so take time for self-care and healing.

Day and we hope you find a sister or two to celebrate We share some personal stories in the Woman Warrior with this year! Your service deserves to be celebrated! section to connect with you—you are not alone in the pain or in the healing.

In this issue, we sit down with Theresea Black, FoundHER of Bon Appesweet—a sweet Vetreprenuer story of love, gelato and chocolate! A story that reminds We see you. We know you. We are you. us all of the power of a motHER;s love and the This is your sisterhood! determination of a woman warrior on a mission.

HER Life

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HealthiHER you: Eat to lose weight.

B Y :

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W A L K E W I C Z

“Abs are made in the kitchen.” Hmmm, younger me would have thought I was on my way to the most amazing six-pack because I spent a great amount of time in the kitchen...as a taster and consumer.

A quick glimpse down memory lane includes an overweight Naviere that wore a mint green, size-2x puffer coat. While that was the style at the time, it wasn’t in style to be a mint-green version of the “Michelin Man.” I tried unhealthy ways to drop the weight (we can save that for another article).

Since college though, I committed to being healthy and dedicated the last two decades to nutrition and fitness education and experience.

The biggest learning that I always come back to was this: weight loss results are achieved faster with an initial focus on nutrition.

Put another way, if you want to lose weight, start with your nutrition.

We are more likely to stick to something when we see results. It’s human nature. I propose you start with a few healthy tips to follow to jump-start weight loss if that is your goal.

These are the tips I follow—they’ve also helped countless numbers of clients, friends and athletes achieve goals when I’ve worked with them.

Try this on your own or reach out to me for individualized help and be on the path to a healthiHER you!

Yes, I always recommend exercise as part of a healthy life, but try these things for 30 days and see the difference it makes for you.

Drink at least 96 oz. of water every day.

Skip the sugary drinks and opt for sugar-free mixes.

Aim for this framework of meals.

Breakfast must include a lean protein and either carbohydrate/fruit or healthy fat (try to avoid having both) Lunch includes a whole-grain or unprocessed carbohydrate or fruit, protein and vegetable Dinner includes a lean protein and healthy fat —no fruit or carbs Use smaller plates for portion control.

Once a week reward yourself.

Follow this and treat yourself to one special meal each week in which you have what you want, in moderation during one sitting.

No need to gorge but instead enjoy the meal with control.

I followed a similar plan and had amazing results—you can too!

Note: I did work out during my focus on nutrition but I always do; nutrition was the game changHER for me.

Check out Coach Naviere in her mighty network community—naviereLIFE at https://navierelife.mn.co/landing.

Disclaimer: please consult your doctor before exercise or changing your diet.

How living Your Best Life Can Be An InspHERation to OtHERs.

Courtesy Photos

By: Aaliyah Al-Mahdi

W

omen often face the unique challenge of balancing work, caring for their families and managing other aspects of life.

Faren is in the Army and while she currently calls Washington, D.C. home, she makes volunteering a priority no matter where she’s located

Being a vetHERan adds another layer to an already complicated experience since life can change drastically from one duty assignment to anotHER.

“My family is big on service and it is a major part of who I am. It is never an ask or task being engaged with helping otHERs,” she said.

One shining example of a vetHERan who serves those around her and pursues incredible fitness goals while still living her best life through travel and practicing self-care is Faren Campbell.

One way she stays connected is by seeking out like-minded individuals and finding teams whose mission aligns with her values. She currently works with Georgetown Ministry Center, a group that provides food, clothes and sanitary products to those in need.

Besides her commitment to giving back, she also lives an active lifestyle and has entered numerous fitness competitions.

“When traveling I want to taste the native dish.

It’s authentic and connecting,” she said of her experiences.

Focusing on her health and fitness is a way to support her health and wellbeing.

Faren competes in bikini competitions, an activity she got involved with after attending a show in support of a friend who had entered a competition.

Like so many other travel enthusiasts she can’t wait to get back to vacationing overseas postpandemic.

“I knew nothing about this industry or that it even existed,” she said. “I saw it as a new challenge to build my runner’s body and most importantly learn more about nutrition. It’s now my lifestyle and it’s not only for sport but for life longevity.”

On that future trip, Faren hopes to visit the colorful destination of Santorini, Greece and explore the beaches, admire the distinctive architecture of the island, and of course, sample the cuisine.

Because she’s headed to various destinations for races and bodybuilding competitions, Faren has done her share of travel for her fitness interests.

One of her favorite things to do on her trips is searching out tasty eats that are unique to the area.

Once she’s able to start traveling again for leisure, she plans to visit the Mediterranean.

Faren’s story is inspirational and there’s no doubt she’s a woman who is going places and making an impact on the lives of others around her.

It’s important to remember that we can all become a woman to watch. We can encourage and shine a light on our fellow sisters who are doing amazing things.

Here are a few ways to become a woman to watch and how to elevate otHER women too.

Make time to pursue things that interest you. Usually, hobbies and activities strike a chord with us because we’re uniquely equipped to excel at them. If you’ve been putting off getting involved in your interests, make a plan to invest time in yourself.

Know that showing up and doing what you love may be the best way to inspire someone else to do the same thing.

Lift other women up. A simple, positive comment on someone’s Facebook post when they’re sharing a new venture or hobby can go a long way to build their belief in themselves. www.thepeoplesparlor.com

By: Amber Valencia

omesteading has become increasingly popular over the last couple of years. After the quarantine of 2020, there are more people starting homesteads to become more self-sufficient.

Homesteading by definition is a lifestyle of self-sufficiency but what does that mean?

Being self-sufficient doesn’t mean you have to move to woods somewhere and live totally off the grid—although that is an option. There are many practices that you can start to become less reliant on the traditional grocery stores and societal norms that don’t have to really change your day-today life at all.

Start your homestead by deciding what that even looks like for you and your current situation. If you live in an apartment building your homestead journey may look a lot different from the person that lives on 10 acres in the Midwest United States.

The great thing about homesteading is that there isn’t a one size fits all way of doing it! Start small and make changes as you can.

Do you eat canned fruits and vegetables? Start canning and preserving them yourself.

Do you currently use paper towels, paper plates, and napkins?

Replace them with reusable items.

Bonus points if you sew the napkins and paper towels yourself.

Line dry your clothes instead of throwing them in the dryer.

You can even start as small as growing a tomato plant on your patio or making your own bread from scratch instead of buying it from the store.

Make your own cleaners for your kitchen and bathrooms.

If you’re ready to step up your homestead to the next level—get some chickens.

Chickens are the first animal that most FarmHERs buy. They don’t require a lot of space and they are fairly easy to take care of.

Depending on where you live and your county codes this may not be possible, so make sure you check for that!

Chickens are great for meat and eggs.

They will also gladly eat your kitchen scraps and lots of different pests from your property.

However, keep them out of your garden because they will eat all of that too.

You can also start a home-based business. A lot of homesteadHER. l choose to sell canned items like jams and jellies, home-baked goods or making and selling soap and other beauty products.

You can even sell your extra eggs from the chickens that you bought.

This can give you some extra money to expand your homestead or simply pay off current debt, which allows you to live more frugal and rely less on credit cards.

Even if you’re not ready to jump headfirst into starting your homestead there are some ways to support homesteadHERs. Buy fruits, veggies or flowers from a local farmer. Skip the big box store and head to farmer’s markets in your area. Support local cattle farms or beekeepers!

Homesteading doesn’t have to be intimidating or something that you have to change your whole lifestyle to achieve. Start small and grow as you can.

There is no blueprint for the journey. You don’t have to be alone in making the change—connect locally or use #farmHER or #veteranfarmHER to find others on social media to ask questions and maybe even exchange vegetables!

The possibilities are endless—can’t wait to see your homesteadHER adventures. /www.thevalenciaranch.com

Connect with us & share your stories! #amplifywomenveterans #freedomsistersmagazine

M E N T

Her

S H I P

t e r c e S e Th yourself

a r a L y n a t t i

By Br

She looked at me in the university hallway and asked, “Brittany, you’re strong and have been through so much. What would you tell these students to help them navigate this season of their lives?”

Well there is one thing I wish I had given myself when I was young and starting out, and it’s something I wish otHERs would build for themselves as well—a compass.

Had I only thought through not only who and what I wanted to be, but also HOW I wanted to become that person… I truly believe my life may have gone in a better direction much sooner.

Create your own compass today and to carry it with you wherever you go. Don’t get lost in life, find your way and know why you’re going in that direction.

Things to consider before you begin building your compass

Live Your Life by a

Compass, not a Clock.

—Stephen R. Covey

The Questioning Thoughts What kind of person do you look up to or want to emulate? What is it about them that you admire?

What kind of person do you want to be different from?

What is it about the way they live that makes you want to live differently?

What big things do you want from life?

If your friend were making the same choices as you, would you be proud of them or concerned for their well-being?

Why? What does that cause you to consider as you imagine the future you want to build?

Take out the Compass Worksheet (link below). Start putting these thoughts to paper and begin sorting them out.

What you’d like on your highlight reel of life when you look back on it in your old age. Why? https://4thebroken.com/downloads/ What do you not want in your life and as part of your story? Why not?

Reflect on the actions you are currently taking in life: Which direction do you think those behaviors are taking you?

Down a path that emulates your dreams - or that quenches them?

Maybe take those reflections to a counselor, mentor or trustworthy friend and get their feedback if you get stuck here.

What is your timeline to reach these goals?(i.e. A goal of mine is to publish a book about ___, ideally within the next 6 years.)

List five to seven qualities or behaviors you do not want to foster in your future. (i.e. I don’t want to be impatient, short-tempered, unhealthy or selfish.)

The Compass Contents List five qualities you want to see in your future self— your defining virtues. (i.e. I want to be patient, wise, kind, knowledgeable, etc.)

List qualities you currently feel you have that are leading you in a positive direction to be your ideal future self.

Do you see any of the same traits you want in your future self?

List three to five big heartgoals you wish to see become reality. These are goals that speak to your innermost person, not just accomplishments but things that matter to you on a deep, personal level—think legacy.

List four to five less desirable qualities or behaviors you notice about yourself that you don’t want to bring into the future with you.

Any trends from question four?? (i.e. I notice I can be impatient and selfish.)

Write out why you want to be your desired person?

Also, why you don’t want to be your undesired person?

What separates the two? (i.e. I want to be the kind of person who I wished I had known during my hardest seasons of life, compassionate and caring. I don’t want to be like the people who hurt others, because this world is hard enough without being cruel to each other. Empathy and selflessness separate those two outcomes.)

List actions you will not take, these mean your hard-liners in life. An example maybe, I will never do cocaine.

Notice the key differences here? The first version is a weak line, easy to cross with lots of gray area.

That’s not bad, but refine these to protect your future outcomes more completely, such as I will never put myself in a situation where there will be cocaine, and if I find myself in a situation where it is present I will create an excuse to remove myself from that environment and avoid it moving forward.

Since this section is our hard-liners that are absolute no-go’s we choose to be firmer and more definitive.

That boundary better serves to guide the future-you to protect those bigheart goals and defining virtues.

Your Compass Now Whenever you are about to make a decision, I hope you will stop and look at your compass (or at least think about it) because we often need to make adjustments on the journey of life!

I encourage you to create your compass, print it, laminate it and keep it with you. Maybe in the sun visor of your car, your purse or on your bathroom mirror.

With no clear sense of direction you could end up anywhere.

However, by making intentional decisions on the way you will confidently take the next steps in life knowing where they’ll lead you.

Go the Distance with a foundation in fitness B Y :

J A C Q U E L I N E

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magine building a house without a solid foundation.

Will the house last? Not for long. Same applies for the military.

It’s imperative to get in shape before you ship off to boot camp. “You should take a minimum of six weeks before reporting to basic training to physically prepare. Eight weeks is better, but six is the absolute minimum” (Wallace, 2021).

If you have access to base, you can call your local command gym and ask to schedule an appointment with a personal trainer. They will ensure that you strengthen specific areas and work on the skills needed to pass your physical fitness test.

Running will provide a solid foundation for you to build your house on. Every branch has cardio requirements in their fitness test.

Having cardiovascular endurance will greatly improve your ability to do well on these.

As policies change, so do fitness tests requirements.

Make sure to stay up to date with any changes as you prepare to leave for training.

will spend most of your time trying to keep up while also being yelled at and learning everything you need to know to pass.

It will become daunting.

Requirements differ based on whether you are female or male and your age bracket.

It is important to check if a swim test is needed to pass boot camp.

If so, you will want to add a swim routine to your workout.

If you do not take the time to prepare for training you are setting yourself up for failure.

If you are not physically prepared for training you

In addition to working out, taking a close look at your diet and lifestyle choices will lead to greater success and help you build the frame of your house.

Increase your water intake as you prepare to leave. GO Pure (2019) stated, “A survey conducted by New York Hospital and Cornell Medical Center found that 75% of its 3,003 subjects were experiencing net fluid loss from chronic dehydration.”

Before boot camp I would drink one glass of water every few days.

It was a really difficult adjustment for me to suddenly have to drink two canteens minimum every day.

Now is a good time to stop if you smoke or use tobacco products.

If you drink sugary beverages or eat junk food you will want to significantly cut back on these.

A great app to help you with diet and physical changes is MyFitnessPal. This app tracks food, water intake, and workouts.

You can find recipes, workout routines, and a supportive community as you embark on your new fitness journey.

This app can act as a blueprint to help you build a strong home.

Getting into shape and changing unhealthy habits before you leave for basic training will help you both physically and mentally.

Many of the sailors I went to boot camp with failed to build a strong foundation beforehand and struggled to keep up with the physical aspects for the first few weeks.

My personal trainer focused on helping me to be able to do push ups, run two miles (my requirement was a mile and a half), and crunches.

My only regret was not preparing for the swim test as I was not a strong swimmer. This training program made boot camp a bit easier.

You must stay on top of your physical game even after basic training. Most gyms on base have personal trainers for free.

Make sure to utilize them! This will help you pass your required physical fitness tests and allows you to maintain the house you worked so hard to build.

Being unfit is grounds for separation.. Building the perfect home won’t happen in a day, neither will your mission-ready body—it requires a plan, time and dedication.

References: Wallace, J. (2021, March 15). Preparing for Basic Training. https://militarybenefits.info/preparing-basictraining/#ixzz6q5cEo0qM. We're Not Sick; We're Thirsty: America's Chronic Dehydration Problem. GO Pure. (2019, April 3).

e l t t a B

RHYTHM DESIGNING THE LIFE YOU LOVE

By: Allaina Rapps

Photo by Lance Cpl. Cedar Barnes

Have you ever felt like 24 hours in a day is not enough?

Our lives are filled with so many responsibilities and obligations that at times it feels impossible to get everything done.

Therefore, at the end of the day, I am physically and mentally exhausted. As I close my eyes for bed, I am quickly reminded of everything I didn’t get done, that now must be added to my list of to do for tomorrow.

Which then makes it hard to fall asleep.

Yet, somehow still find the time to relax and have fun.

On a daily basis I juggle between the mandatory responsibilities I have as a First Sergeant to over 100 joint service members and taking care of them, a mother to a toddler and a wife that wants to put dinner on the table and keep her house clean. But that doesn’t account for the obligations I also have to my boss, my peers, my friends and my family in addition to my volunteer activities.

But wouldn’t it be nice to come home at the end of a long day feeling more organized and accomplished?

If you’re like me and tired of the ‘too many tasks, not enough time’ endless cycle, then today is the day to fix it.

Today we learn how to accomplish more with less time. We will learn to maximize our effectiveness and energy level with better time management.

So, what is a battle rhythm anyway? I’ll spare the boring technical definition by summing it up; a battle rhythm is a defined routine.

No two battle rhythms will look alike. It’s up to you to determine how you will devote your time.

So take these tips and make them your own.

Sample battle rhythm for download: Click Here.

Importance of a Battle Rhythm.

Deliberate planning to maximize time Prioritize tasks Manage expectations Find balance between work and personal life

Steps to Developing Your Battle Rhythm.

Determine daily, weekly, monthly tasks and responsibilities Prioritize tasks Delegate any tasks, if feasible Create a schedule or calendar and start filling in your prioritized tasks

Tips For Success.

Keep planner is with you at all times or sync your devices Include prep time for meetings into your schedule Include personal obligations: kid sports, daily workout, errands.

Set alerts on your phone to keep you on schedule

Once you’ve filled in all the mandatory tasks, you’ll see how much free time you actually have.

The key to effective time management is once you organize your schedule, you should stick to it as best as possible.

If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

Situations may arise and last minute requests may pull you from your routine but don’t fret, refocus and get back on schedule.

Practicality is crucial: what good is a products effectiveness if we don’t use it, so take time to make this product one you will use.

The truth of the matter is, most people give the illusion that they’ve got their life together. But the reality is we all get out of balance every now and then. Using this framework will bring awareness to what we spend our time on and allocate that time more wisely. Having a defined battle rhythm relieves stress, increases sleep, provides clarity and offers focus for our lives.

HERstory

A Ca t

ge: an

o f rC t s y h l a

The Story Behind the Air Force’s New Hair Policies

By: Elis Salamone

On the flip side, if women looked too masculine this could lead to homosexuality.

These concerns were not only antiquated and archaic but a sign of the times in the United States.

In 2021, our society and culture have progressed immensely, and the force is rich in diversity.

It has been 70 years since the Air Force last made substantial changes to its hair regulations for women.

In 2021, that all changed when a group of Airmen decided to fight for regulation changes that not only made sense in our current diverse Air Force but also disrupted the status quo.

The new hair regulations took effect in February 2021. After five years of advocacy, the new hair regulations took effect in February 2021.

Women have been serving in the Air Force since 1948 and have contributed to every conflict since then, both professionally and courageously.

The hair regulations established in 1948 were more about societal and cultural stigma concerning women serving alongside men.

The regulation had two styles: a bun or a bob which length was not to extend below the shirt collar. The concerns were that if women looked too feminine, they could distract the men inappropriately.

Never underestimate the power of one person fighting for change. The spark for new hair policies occurred after a random encounter between two Airmen (the term used for all Air Force service members).

The fateful interaction between Tech. Sgt. Jonathon Lind (J.B. as he is known) and one of his female Airmen during a workday break is what inspired J.B. to advocate for change.

As he recalled the encounter, he said “She told me about the pain she was experiencing with the hair regulations and how it didn’t work with her hair type or culture. ” She wasn’t trying to complain, she only wanted to bring up a point.

(Photos Provided by Maj. Alea Nadeem).

(Photos Provided by Maj. Alea Nadeem).

Chief Master Sergeant Hope Skibitsky, Command Chief of the 86th Airlift Wing Command, Germany.

The thought crossed his mind that she should cut her hair to be in standards, but the conversation opened his mind to something bigger than the 70year-old regulation.

Not everyone is the same and just as you can’t control your height, you can’t control your hair type.

“She told me that if she cuts her hair short, she will look like her husband. If she keeps it long, she suffers from headaches."

Her other option was to get out and she felt like she belonged there and she deserves to serve her country too. He agreed with her.

Later that night when J.B. mentioned the interaction to his wife, active duty, Technical Sgt Jocelyn Lind, concurred that for most female service members having their hair tight up in a bun all day while in uniform created symptoms of headache and pain— a common issue for many.

Upon hearing this J.B. stated that his first thought was well let us change this and that it was not fair that his female co-workers were suffering in silence while doing the same job as him.

The following advocacy journey that began with that initial interaction caused J.B. to experience many career challenges.

Admittedly J.B. states he was surprised at all the pushback he received when he started the journey for change.

Whenever J.B. presented the problem of the female hair regulations, almost every senior leader at the group level, men and women alike questioned why he was trying to change the policies that did not affect him. He was advised once to let it go!

(Photos Provided by Maj. Alea Nadeem).

It took almost five years before he finally found a wing commander that was willing to sign a letter to support the quest for new hair regulations. This initial support started a snowball effect that gave J.B. the momentum and credibility he needed to realize his goal of changing the female hair policies.

The WIT’s Mission: A total force where women (military and civilian) can advance to their maximum potential and remove barriers to opportunity to create an inclusive culture.

(A. Nadeem, personal communication, 25 Mar 2021)

Following this support J.B. then connected with the Air Force’s Women Initiatives Team (WIT), an allvolunteer organization, established in 2008, that is chartered by the Department of the Air Force, under Headquarters Air Force (HAF) .

Problem: Current hair policy negatively affects operational and medical readiness, training, and ethnic inclusivity for 68,470 active duty and 39,502 National Guard, Reserve Air and Space Professionals. (A. Nadeem, personal communication, 25 Mar 2021)

The HAF develops policies, plans, and programs, establishes requirements, and provides resources to support the Air Force's mission to defend the United States and protect its interests using air and space power.

Maj. Alea Nadeem, team leadHER for the WIT stated once they partnered with J.B. and his wife the movement truly gained momentum.

(Photos Provided by Maj. Alea Nadeem).

There were four members on the WIT team dedicated to work on this specific initiative.

Initially, J.B. was happy to hand off the reigns of the project, but the other team members agreed that he was integral to the team as a male ally.

Other common medical issues attributed to the hair regulations were: · Receding Hairlines/Bald Spots/Hair Thinning/Reduced Regrowth (Traction Alopecia)

The team built a survey, which was sent out to 12,000 female service members about hair issues, operational and health concerns. Out of that 12,000 surveyed they had an astounding 11,361 responses, making the survey statistically significant.

(A. Nadeem, personal communication, 25 Mar 2021)

· Migraines (Ponytail Headache, External Traction Headache) · An informal survey of 1,916 servicewomen found 74% experienced migraines when wearing their hair in a bun · Hair Breakage (Trichorrhexis Nodosa) · Scalp Sensitivity/Soreness/Numbness (Scalp Tenderness)

The WIT noted in their research that Servicewomen were suffering from medical issues by pulling their hair tight to meet bulk requirements; in addition, creating excessive tension where long hair was pinned.

(Photos Provided by Maj. Alea Nadeem).

Photo credit: MSgt Grant Langford

· Itchy Scalp (Scalp Pruritus) · Hairline Cysts (Folliculitis Keloidalis) · Posture Induced Back and Neck Pain (Forward Head Posture) · Mildewed/Moldy/Musty Hair

When gathering evidence to make the case for more inclusive and updated hair policies the WIT noted that the Navy had updated hair policies in 2018.

Since then, the Navy has not had any safety incidents associated with the new hair policies.

The Army has also followed suite and recently updated their hair policies as well. The Marines and Coast Guard have yet to reform their hair policies and still require hair not to extend below the collar.

However, there is hope, as Major Nadeem noted that the other branches are reaching out to the WIT for guidance on how to implement their own initiatives teams, to effect change.

When compared to other nations, the United States has the most diverse demographics to any other country. Yet the hair regulations were comparable to homogeneous nations like China, where hair diversity is rare.

Other Allied nations such as Canada, Norway, Germany and Israel, to name a few, have hair regulations that are more aligned with feminine and professional options such as single or double braids and ponytails.

The new policy was greeted with resounding victory for J.B., the WIT and women across the Air Force. The new hair policies made national news and #freethebun became a popular hashtag on all social media platforms with servicewomen posting photos of themselves in uniform with ponytails and braids.

Although some have had mixed feelings about the hair policy changes, the response has mostly been positive.

TSgt Travis Edwards and SSgt Dustin Mullen, 9th Air Force (Air Forces Central) public affairs

When Major Nadeem was asked what her call to action would be about policy changes, she stated that “if you see a problem that needs to be changed don’t just complain about it, take action”.

Sometimes the smallest spark can lead to a catalyst for change, however we must have the courage to take the first step.

Not everyone is the same and just as you can’t control your height, you can’t control your hair type.

MOTHERHOOD Where strength and fear collide.

By: Ana Valencia

“Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had and dealing with fears you never knew existed.” ~Linda Wooten

I knew what was coming.

My boss was sitting across from me, midway through his initial counseling and attempting to set the tone so maybe I would be comfortable enough to open up about myself.

“I don’t get it. So you are a single parent?

Where is his dad,” he asked, in a disbelieving tone.

I was still exhausted from unpacking from the most recent duty change and carrying the weight of single motherhood.

I already felt like a failure, didn’t feel like raising a child on my own would be my story.

I didn’t need the judgment of others to reveal my inner most disappointments.

“You know, this question is insulting? I do not need his dad to make me a good mother. I still perform as a Soldier and I do not use my son as an excuse to get out of doing my duties,” I sighed.

Looking deeply perplexed, he leaned forward, not ready to drop the subject. “I just mean….so who helps you? Do you have a family care plan? How can I trust that you can perform your duties if you’re a single mother,” he nudged.

That’s what he said but this is what I felt he meant—what’s wrong with you? Couldn’t you keep your husband? Will you be trouble? Will I have to put you in a position with less responsibility because I can’t trust you will be here?

There is a stigma in the military that if you are a single mother, you perhaps slept with someone who did not want to be in a relationship or you had gotten pregnant on a drunken one night stand.

Whatever situation you find yourself in—dual military or single motherhood—you are not alone.

It’s possible that I was imagining more subtext than my boss intended and to be fair, he was not the first person who’d put me on the spot about my single motherhood status.

But having years of experience I have seen various levels of reprisal after conversations like the one above.

Suddenly, I do not have the same opportunities my male counterparts do.

I am not asked if I want to attend schools— and when I ask to go my family care plan is always questioned.

I work harder than my male counterparts to prove I belong but it always feels like it is never enough.

I always knew I wanted to be a mother. I was the second oldest of eight and raised my brothers and sisters.

I couldn’t wait to have my own child— once I became pregnant with my son—his dad and I were thrilled.

Turns out I was the only one who was thrilled with more than just the idea of parenthood. A year after my son was born it felt like I had been pregnant and experienced the first year on my own.

I felt my love, strength and drive in motherhood created distance and resentment with my husband and made me question everything.

IHere are three things I learned about motherhood in this journey that I wish someone had told me back then when I was feeling so lost:

I didn’t recognize myself anymore and my self-confidence changed. I felt I had broken into a million pieces and I didn’t know how to put them back together.

It’s not you. You can’t make someone be a parent.

After our divorce I felt anguish in my reality.

Although, nothing shifted in how I loved my son and still gave him my best, something shifted inside of me. I felt dejected and broken.

For the longest time I struggled with granting myself permission to heal and to find the courage to love myself despite our family not looking like what I imagined.

Time has been the gift I needed to realize who I am and helped me see that I knew what was best for my son and I.

As I struggled to move forward with the divorce, I kept worrying that perhaps I didn’t give his father a chance to participate equally in the love and care for our son.

I sincerely thought that I was being selfish with my son and not giving him the time or space to be a family—but my friends assured me I had done more than my fair share to help cultivate a partnership One cause of divorce is unmet expectations, if you continue to express how you’re feeling and there are no changes—then are you really being heard?

The expectations the military places on mothers and soldiers are at odds.

On top of our individual struggles in becoming a mom, we also have an added layer of regulations we have to abide by.

Only until recently the Army made a huge change in policy for moms. They announced that active duty or reserve soldiers who have just given birth will have 365 days to meet body fat requirements instead of the previous 180 days.

As I dug deeper into how other mothers felt, I realized that there are actual terms for what mothers experience.

I never felt so relieved and validated than when I first learned that others had shared experiences with me. There is nothing about you or what you are doing that will make the other parent be the parent you want them to be.

My whole life I have always been someone else and during the divorce there was an inner split in matrescence where it felt like I was divided between the person I once was and the mother I was becoming.

It wasn’t just in my head nor is it made up for you either.It’s a real identity shift and the reason why we constantly feel pulled in every direction except the one we want to go in.

You are an amazing mother and soldier— stand in your truth.

Having my son during the previous policy, I was forced to get back to shape in order to attend a career progression school. I was expected to look the part and work as if I had no other responsibilities at home.

I worked long hours as a new mom because if I asked for a break, it would reveal a false dichotomy that I failed to plan—I had to make things work in the environment I was afforded.

There’s unnecessary pressure for us to strive to have it all: to lean into a successful military career and at the same time be a great and dedicated mother or partner at home—not to mention an endless array of other things that also need our attention.

Know the difference between conviction and guilt.

I often wonder if I was meant to be a mom because sometimes I feel like I’m not doing a good job. That nagging guilt followed by shame that would creep up from time to time.

Moments when I needed a break from mom duties. Moments when I wasn’t actively present. Moments when I would space out when he tells me the same story for the fifth time in a row, regardless how excited he was to share it.

I carried guilt for a long time for not being with his dad too.

Guilt held me back from enjoying my life. It paralyzed me and held me as its victim, captive and alone. Some days I would be a shell of a mom, not enjoying the precious time with him.

Then I began my healing journey, I realized that if I continued this way my guilt would turn into resentment.

I started to realize the convictions of my heart that I needed to figure out the areas of importance in my life and my responsibilities—that lead to shame falling off and truth building me back together.

I knew I needed to take mental breaks and decompress after working long hours. I needed moments to release the emotions I had building up on the inside. All of those things were okay and didn’t make me a bad mom—they made me human.

I take it as a sign that I’m not in alignment when I start feeling guilt. I take a pause and remind myself that I’m more than just a soldier or a mom—there’s nothing wrong with wanting more than what I’ve got.

And after a deep breath I ask myself, What do I really need and I go do it.

Military motherhood is a journey and no woman should feel alone, unseen and unheard in what probably is her greatest challenge to date—the discovery of who she’s really meant to be.

FoundHER

Theresea Black Bon Appésweet

BON APPÉSWEET

“This gelato is my promise to my daughter that I will never leave her again. Each and every one of you help me to keep my promise and I thank you.”

-Thereasa Black Summer is upon us beckoning us to soak in the sun rays and chill out with our favorite ice cream, mi scuzi, gelato.

The average American consumes more than 23 pounds of ice cream per year. Regular ice cream is the most popular category of frozen desserts.

One little girl was consuming more ice cream when her mom was called away on a deployment to Djibouti.

Concerned about the uptick in sugar consumption in her daughter’s diet—one ½ cup scoop of vanilla ice cream has 14 grams of sugar —and that's just plain vanilla!

The sugar count only rises with each added flavor or topping. One military momma set out on a new mission: create a healthier version of a dessert her daughter, Isabella, had grown to love.

BON APPÉSWEET

Theresea Black, US Navy Surface Warfare Officer who spent her active duty time driving aircraft carriers and lawyer turned entrepreneur, knew that being away from her daughter was too much for her momma heart to bear. So, she decided she needed to start up a company so she could spend more time with her daughter and less time away from home.

“I drove the George Washington Aircraft Carrier and then left that position to attend George Washington Law School,” recalls Black. “I had my daughter second year of law school and when I deployed she was barely two.”

After 13-months away from her daughter, Black knew she did not ever want to experience that level of separation again. She also knew that as a new law professional, if she continued to pursue that profession, she would have 80-hour work weeks, and that no longer aligned with what was most important—time with her daughter.

“I decided I'd start my own business and at that point, I didn't know what I was going to do. So I started doing little mini shark tanks every day at dinner and seeing which ideas people liked,” stated Black. “And then about three months before I came home, I came up with the gelato idea because I knew I couldn't come home and just take away the thing that she had grown to love.”

Bon Appésweet (formerly Amore Gelato) was created out of love, an all-natural, nutritious ice cream (gelato) sweetened with fruits instead of cane sugar.

BON APPÉSWEET

GO-TO-MARKET RECIPE When returning from deployment, Black began researching the perfect gelato recipe, took a class on the chemistry of gelato and created her product .

“I read a bunch of recipe books and then figured out how to take out the sugars and then I took a gelato making class where they teach you the chemistry behind the process, '' recounts Black. “I was able to do the actual math after going to that class.

Ice cream generally has a lot of air in it while gelato is more dense because it has less air, which means if you have less air, you then have more ingredients.”

In 2019, when Black was just starting out, she worked full-time and would sell her gelato in small batches at local farmer’s markets and wineries.

As if the working mom life isn’t hard enough, Black would work her final shift on Friday then come home, put Isabella to bed and spend the whole night making gelato in preparation for her weekend hustle.

“As soon as she was sleeping, I spent literally the entire night making gelato for the next day for the farmer's market. And sometimes I would not go to sleep.Then as soon as the farmer's market was over, I would pack everything in my car. And then drive to the winery,” stated Black. “I’d be at the winery until 10:00 PM at night, then get home, wash everything and do it all again the next morning.”

BON APPÉSWEET

Her recipe of love and self-determination proved sustainable and she opened her first gelato shop in the D.C area, five months after her first farmer’s market sale.

Even though she had to shut the gelato shop due to the Covid Pandemic, Black has reached levels of success that most businesses only dream about in their infancy.

“As a solo founder, it is important to stay motivated and believe in yourself. When I got the boot and the landlord found a different tenant, it was honestly a good thing,” said Black. “When that happened, I shifted focus on getting into grocery stores. We have a virtual shelf that we're going to be on, which we sell it over DoorDash and Uber eats and stuff like that.

And we can sell anywhere in the country almost. An opportunity I would never have found had I'd still been in that shop.”

GOOD IN, GOOD OUT Bon Appésweet gelato is packed full of flavor, up to 32 grams of protein and 14 essential vitamins. You won’t find a single ingredient that is harmful to your body either—no cane sugar, no sugar alcohols and no dairy (although they do offer a dairy version).

According to the American Heart Association, women should only consume six teaspoons of sugar daily and many women are seeking alternatives to addedsugar.

In fact, research suggests that 77% of adults are actively striving to consume less sugar in their diets. Moreover, seven in 10 consumers are willing to give up a favorite sugary product in favor of finding a healthier alternative.

Manufacturers are now required to include added sugars on the nutritional label, which could potentially prevent nearly 1 million cases of cardiovascular disease and type 2 diabetes over the next two decades.

You won’t find any added sugars with Bon Appésweet products, but you will discover all their ingredients are naturally sourced.

Their line of dairy-free, plant-based oat milk is truly a guilt-free flavorful experience. Our personal favorite is the Peach Cobbler with all the comforts of the perfect summer dessert with none of the guilt.

In addition to closing up her brick-andmortar shop, Black has also diversified her products by creating 3-ingredient guiltfree chocolate bars.

The chocolate bars are made with organic dates, organic cacao powder and organic cocoa butter—that’s it!

Black grinds the ingredients together to form a liquor and then pours into her candy molds, creating each one in her own kitchen and taste-tested and approved by Isabella.

BON APPÉSWEET

The Bon Appésweet Chocolate bars are plantbased, vegan, non-dairy and paleo-friendly. You can enjoy the treat without cheating your body of much needed nutrients.

The bars come in a variety of flavors, Deep Dark Chocolate (70% cacao), Dark Coconut Milk Chocolate (45% cacao), Better Than Milk Chocolate (57% cacao), Almond (57% cacao) and We Woke (Espresso) Chocolate (60% cacao).

We sampled the Better Than Milk Chocolate and Almond, both were fantastic, perfectly sweetened and tasted smooth and delicious.

Due to the soy lectin in most chocolate candies, chocolate has been off-limits to Black’s daughter (Isabella) her whole life due to a soy allergy.

“So she's [Isabella] never been able to eat chocolate and she kept asking me, mommy, mommy, can I have chocolate?

To which I have to say, no, no, you can't have chocolate, you know that you can't,” said Black. “So, I created this chocolate, it was the first time she's ever actually been able to eat a chocolate bar. Now she'll sneak chocolate bars. Like how many kids do you know that are eating 70% chocolate bar.”

Black is not only acutely aware of using the best ingredients in her products, but she is also passionate about environmental sustainability and social justice for all—wanting to leave a better world to her daughter’s generation.

With each purchase, she hopes to educate otHERs on social injustice issues she is passionate about and help raise awareness and advocate for changes.

BON APPÉSWEET

SOCIAL JUSTICE IS OH SO SWEET Bon Appésweet believes in liberty and justice for all.

Black has answered the call to service to protect the freedoms of all Americans, she has gone to school to defend those freedoms—yet sadly many freedoms are not equally accessible to all citizens.

The crux of social justice is the fact that a family, a team and society at large can only operate on all cylinders when all members are fully included.

The more we, as a society, know then the more teamwork we have and the better we become.

Thoughts to provoke change: Once a prisoner is released and paid their debt to society, why can they no longer vote?

Public Defenders can work up to 19,000 cases annually, spending only seven minutes per client before going to court.

This results in many accepting plea bargains and those who do go to trial receive steeper punishments. What would happen if public defenders received adequate funding to provide a constitutional right granted in the Sixth Amendment?

Since the inception of Bon Appésweet, Black has included information and opportunities for others to make a difference for social justice reform.

More than 412,000 people stay in jail because they cannot afford to make bail, sometimes the most dangerous are the wealthy. What would happen if we brought equity to a system that disfavors those who are not wealthy?

On every pint and every chocolate bar are facts about the justice system and the issues that need to be addressed in order to make change for the better.

The war on drugs incarcerates millions of Americans annually.What would happen if we helped individuals with treatment instead of a jail sentence?

We woke, is her campaign to share statistics, create conversation and spark change. A few of her passion projects include, restoration of voting rights, proper funding of public defense, cash bail and decriminalizing drug addiction.

These ideas are social reform that Bon Appésweet are educating and advocating about on their products and website.

BON APPÉSWEET

DAUGHTER SEES, DAUGHTER DOES One of the most influential women in most of our lives are our mothers—this is true for Isabella.

Isabella has witnessed first-hand each hurdle of her mom’s in entrepreneurship and as a five-year-old is already developing her entrepreneurial spirit.

She readily helps mom in the creation of new products and Isabella is the official Bon Appésweet taste tester, a job she thoroughly enjoys!

“She'[d] be at the playground with her friends when she was three years old, playing ‘gelato shop,’ you know? So she's getting entrepreneurial experience. Now she wants to start a lemonade stand,” said Black. “When asked what's gonna be different about your lemonade, she responded, we're not going to have any sugar in it. We're going to use dates. She looked up a recipe on Google and then did it, and then also like, change it up.

She has this entrepreneurial spirit already.”

Although she works hard making Bon Appésweet a successful and sustainable endeavor, Black makes sure to put Isabella time as a priority. They go to the library, the playground while always making sure she can get work done.

“Making a schedule and sticking to it is vital for success,” said Black.

“Entrepreneurship has been by far the hardest endeavor I have experienced but it’s been the most motivating endeavor as well and proving that I can do difficult things and succeed.”

BON APPÉSWEET

SWEET ADVICE FOR OTHERS

Black’s advice to other entrepreneurs is to never stop believing in yourself. The most difficult part of starting a business is that it is brand new and people will tell you your idea is not going to work or even worse the idea will fail.

“I think that if you just believe in your mission, like if you really did your research and set up yourself for success, then when people don't believe in you, like, you can't listen to that, especially when you're a solo founder, that's tough,” said Black. “But in order for you to keep going, you have to believe in yourself first.”

And as many veterans agree, our time in the uniform has helped tremendously in the entrepreneurial game. There is a mindset many military veterans have and that is to never give up on a mission because failing a mission isn’t an option.

Entrepreneurship success is the new mission.

“Our mindset is something that you can't just teach a person that's never been in the military, because when you're in the military, the answer is never we failed the mission, That's not really an option for us. I mean, obviously, sometimes we don't succeed the first time in our missions,” explains Black. “My point is that we are, we were taught if you can't do it this way then we do it another way, find another, so that helps a lot with us in entrepreneurship because if we're trying to do something and it's not working, we just pivot and still accomplish the same mission.”

No matter where you are on the journey, find your purpose, find your passions and make life a little sweeter and a whole lot better for those you serve.

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HER NEXT

Mission

IDENTITY

BY: Annette Whittenberger

One of the things she was drawn to was her passion for helping people, but most importantly, women.

As a result of her own life experiences, she knew that there was a need to help women who struggle with self esteem, anxiety, depression and loss of identity. Becoming a life coach was something that she felt absolutely called to do and to become.

Finding your identity while navigating through life can be overwhelming and emotional.

Navigating life after spending over 20 years serving your country can be invigorating and stressful at the same time. One can feel a little uneasy about what is next in finding yourself and your purpose. There is often a loss of identity and unpreparedness when you just completed a lifelong career doing the only thing you knew how to do.

So, we ask ourselves, what is life after the military?

Nicole Smith, a Retired Senior Chief of the U.S. Coast Guard, spent twenty years of her life serving our country. Yet, upon retiring and experiencing a lot of uncertainty as a retiree, mother and military spouse, Smith, sought ways to feel whole again.

After serving in different roles as a Soldier, Airman, Coastie, etc. it can often lead to a misconception of who you really are.

We are so used to who we are in uniform and when wearing different hats; however, it is important to clearly identify your authentic self.

Suffering from guilt and shame can be a lonely battle but Smith can teach you how to navigate and overcome.

Smith knew that she had to make some major changes in her life when she suffered from her first panic attack sending her to the hospital.

At that time, she had no idea what was happening or why.

The tightening in her chest and the breathing difficulties caused her to open her eyes to what steps she needed to take next.

From then she realized that she needed to find the right and proper tools to help her navigate through those difficult times of feeling overwhelmed.

Reading this, you may be nodding your head and thinking of a time when you have felt this same way. All of the uncertainty about who you are out of the uniform and not knowing what your true passion is outside of your service. Don’t despair. You are amongst many other women who are also trying to find their place in this world again.

According to an article from the Military Times dated back in 2012, many do not feel like military service is not just a job but rather an identity. Trying to find a new identity once you complete your time in service

can be one of the most difficult things that you have to do.

Unless you know Smith on a deep personal level, you may have guessed that she struggled with low self esteem, depression, anxiety and loss of self identity. She learned that fighting this battle was very lonely and so she set out to keep other women from feeling that loneliness on their journey to a new identity.

She wants you to know that you do not have to fight this battle alone. According to a Military Times Article dated August 14, 2019, women veterans are 1.8 times more likely than civilian women to commit suicide.

This is just one reason why she is so passionate about her work with other women veterans.

Smith has worked tirelessly to find who she is, again. She is much more than who she thought she was and you can see it in her work. Smith’s passion radiates as she helps women all over the world to find their purpose personally, as well as spiritually.

She believes that finding our purpose helps us navigate life as we deal with major life transitions, mental health struggles or traumas.

By: Joanna Sweatt

“We must follow, contribute, study, and scrutinize the trends that affect women in our nation and all over the world. It is our duty, our responsibility as women to uplift and empower other women.”

We are now in year two of what I am referring to as the “Covid Years”.

People all over the world have adjusted in ways they never imagined and women in the U.S., who have already been fighting an uphill battle towards constitutional equality, are being hit the hardest.

Four times as many women as men dropped out of the labor force in September 2020, roughly 865,000 women compared with 216,000 men; validates predictions that the impact of the Covid-19

pandemic on women—and the accompanying child care and school crises—would be severe.

The gender pay gap includes gender segregation in jobs, differences in educational attainment, caregiving responsibilities that fall heavily to women, a lack of pay transparency, discrimination, and bias.

Women earned 82.3% of what men earned in 2019, based on the real median earnings for full-time, year-round workers—meaning that women earned 82 cents for every $1 earned by men.

Insult to injury, studies are now showing that women are also bearing the brunt of increased costs over the men that make $0.12 more than them.

Recently, NPR reported the results of a study conducted by the Government Accountability Office titled, Study: Women in Military Pay Much More Than Men For Uniforms. The study showed that women in the U.S. military have to pay more for required uniform items. As women reach more ‘equal’ opportunity, they are being charged for it in more ways than one.

When the Marine Corps decided to move to a more gender-neutral dress uniform, it was the women Marines that had to purchase the new requirements since the changes in the actual uniforms only affected women.

Although the U.S. military is building a more diverse and inclusive force, it is still lacking in a more diverse and inclusive leadership corps that helps ensure the underserved military service members are properly represented in policy decisionmaking conversations.

Women continue to increase their presence in the military.

From 1973 to 2010, the number of active-duty enlisted women in the military has grown from about 42,000 to 167,000

(https://www.pewresearch.org/wpcontent/uploads/sites/3/2011/12/womenin-the-military.pdf)

As of November 2020, the U.S. has seen Eight women who have served both in Congress and the Military—four of whom are combat Veterans: Tammy Duckworth, Joni Ernst, Tulsi Gabbard and Martha McSally.

Our work is not yet done. We still have a responsibility to the legacy of the women who came before us to improve the pathways for sisters that come after us.

The more we engage with networks that have a vested interest in our past, present and future then the result will be better policies, resources, advocacy and services for all women service members and veterans.

It is a special time for women. Collective bargaining and union-sisterhood is on the rise. We are breaking through more glass ceilings but now is the time to rally, organize and shatter them all.

Of these eight women, only 2 of them are BIPOC—specifically Asian-American and the latter two are also the first and only combat-service-womenveterans elected to congress.

More of us predominate key roles, and our participation as leadHERs is not only vital but imperative for change.

All eight of these women were also officers with collegiate backgrounds and many of them came from military legacy families.

These are the women who represent us, have our shared experiences, and are currently embedded in networks that could benefit the lives of current and future women serving in our armed forces.

Resources: https://www.aauw.org/resources/research/simple-truth/

SHARES SECRETS TO ONLINE SUCCESS WITH AUTHENTIC STORYTELLING

BY: AMY FORSYTHE

Theresa Carpenter is an active duty Navy lieutenant commander where she has served for the past 25 years.

Her passions include helping military women succeed and the professional development of the craft of public relations.

As an introspective writer, she muses about the human experience for her blog ‘Theresa’s Tapestries’ and she encourages people to give back to their communities through her podcast S.O.S.—Stories of Service.

Theresa runs a YouTube channel with her husband where they share their experiences with saving money, DIY projects, traveling, and enjoying time together.

She lives in Norfolk, Virginia, with her husband Harry and their Boxer dog, Jayda, who also has her own social media presence on Instagram.

Q & A with Theresa Joining the military When I was 19, I ran out of money and enlisted in the Navy. I had no idea on April 14, 1996, how much of a positive impact serving would have.

I was originally assigned as an aviation electrician’s mate and performed maintenance on the Navy P-3 Orion and the S-3B Viking aircraft.

I was later accepted into an officer commissioning program and in 2006 became a Surface Warfare Officer.

I stayed in the community for two years then transferred into public affairs which is my current career in the military and will be promoted to commander (O-5) in September.

Deployments I’ve been on multiple west coast deployments, many with stops in the middle east and the Asia Pacific region.

I’ve spent time in combat zones stationed on an aircraft carrier, as well as on the ground in the southern Philippines working with Army and Navy Special Forces.

One of my most memorable and rewarding experiences was taking part in Pacific Partnership 2014, which was the first landbased iteration of this humanitarian mission where I traveled with the Navy Seabees to Indonesia and Timor-Leste.

Current assignment I am a public affairs planner for Joint Planning Support Element, which provides augmentation support to combatant commands for contingency operations, such as a humanitarian disasters or combat missions.

We also send teams who are trained in the joint planning process, public affairs, intelligence, knowledge management or logistics.

Myself and my husband live in Norfolk, Virginia, and we have a Boxer named Jayda who also has her own social media presence. My husband runs a channel called ‘RWeCrazy’ where he and I tell the stories of our travels, getting good deals, and he shares his strategies for fixing anything mechanical.

Storytelling on social media Many of the stories I share are personal experiences, or they come from involvement with an organization that’s working to perform a service on behalf on their community.

Besides serving in the Navy, I’ve been a part of groups that advocated for animal protection policy and teams that helped women become better leaders. Much of what I discuss online are my personal values which came from insights, observations and lessons I’ve gained over my life which have served me well such as taking ownership for my failures and living well below my means financially.

I use blogs, graphics, imagery, video clips and personal interviews to tell stories. To be an effective communicator, I hone my skills through every medium. The social media channels allow me to use whatever canvas I choose that day to drive home a larger point. All of my stories have a point, be that to inspire, to educate, or to validate.

What has surprised you about response from people?

Some of the posts which gain the most engagement is not particularly well thought out. Many are observations on a current news event. An example comes to mind when Tucker Carlson, a Fox commentator used the policy advancements of service women as a way to say that the Pentagon was focusing on the wrong priorities. He’s entitled to that opinion of course, but I felt it was a cheap shot at the expense of positive strides that help bring more women into the military.

The coverage of his statements also helped me identify as a combat service member, something I never felt comfortable sharing prior to that point. The response from people on LinkedIn was so encouraging and overwhelmingly supportive. A similar response happened last year when I posted on my struggles getting my marksmanship qualification. I was so surprised how hard it was for me to pass.

Feeling a bit downtrodden, I decided to share the journey using video clips failing at the range twice to finally passing the third visit after 90 days of non-stop practice. I saw it as an opportunity to film the work it takes to succeed as many posts on social media celebrate someone’s accomplishment, but we never see the grind that goes into getting to that point. I was able to share that using short clips, which at the same time better connected me to the people who follow my posts.

Key messages

Influence to help others

My key message comes from my transformation in life from seeing the world as a place where bad things happened to me to understanding that everyone faces hardships in life. I had to learn resiliency through therapy and a wonderful support network, I climbed out of my victimhood mentality and empowered myself by changing my mindset and world outlook.

The best feedback is when I share a story and it reminds someone of a similar experience that they’ve had.

I know what it’s like to think it’s me against the world, but the key to lifelong happiness is to find a tribe and build healthy connections even if things traumatic happened in childhood. I strive to empower people through performing acts of service.

When we help others, we help ourselves.

I get at least 1-3 messages each week on how a post touched them and reminded them of a childhood memory, or a similar scenario in their career or relationship.

I know someone might not be comfortable sharing a post on their experience, but I’ll post on it and it helps people know they are not alone in feeling something and maybe they can feel safe at least commenting on it.

I’ve inspired others to write blogs and share what they can.

Vulnerability is soothing and refreshing when it’s online, and I think when people see I’m not afraid to show up as my full self-online, they think they can do it too.

In fact, since being more active on Instagram, I’ve had military influencers reach out to me and ask me how I got a book chapter approved by the Navy and what permissions I use to post online.

I follow military ethics, and as a public affairs officer It’s important that I take great care to share in a way that gives credit to the armed forces for all the opportunities serving has given me.

2021 top three goals Get outside my comfort zone and share blog posts with media outlets instead of posting on my website.

Run a meaningful podcast to share and inspire people.

Most importantly, cherish my time with my husband, my biggest cheerleader who supports everything I do.

Advice for greater social media impact Get brilliant at the basics. Understand how to use graphic design software, how to capture and edit a compelling image or video clip and most importantly treat the readers time as more important than your own. Use as few words as possible. Use data to add specificity in making a case.

Don’t focus on the trolls, and know when someone is being mean spirited, just disengage. No one has to like everything you post, and that’s ok. I encourage people to respectfully disagree with me because I’m open minded knowing like us all I do not have all the answers. Lastly, be yourself.

People know when you’re pretending to have a perfect life. It’s ok to share bad days because your struggles help someone else who is struggling.

Follow others you admire on social media and see what’s working for them. However, I find it’s best not to obsess over engagement numbers as some posts will do better than others and sometimes you won’t know why, so it’s best to stay true to your mission and always learn and experiment.

Respond to each comment if you can. It might not be feasible for people with larger presences, but for me the people who respond to my content are taking time to engage with it and connect with me. Social media is about building connections and engaging.

Added Value

Find Theresa here

I’d love to see more women veterans and active duty active on social media sharing their stories.

For more amazing stories and up to the minute releases follow Theresa:

We make up about 15 percent of the total force, but an even smaller percentage at the senior enlisted and flag/general officer ranks.

If the public sees more of us sharing our stories through social media, it might inspire more women to ascend to leadership positions and level the demographics.

We need diversity at every military rank to bring fresh perspectives, foster inclusion and eliminate group think.

Website: https://www.theresatapestries.com Podcast S.O.S. (Stories of Service) https://storiesofservice.buzzsprout.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jayda_the_boxe rdog/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/theresacarpent er1/

When we help others, we help ourselves.

By: Susanna Keilman

“What was your AFSC/MOS?” asked no civilian ever. “What did you do?” was the question I heard most.

The majority of the women I met during basic training didn’t even know what a reservist was or that it was an option to not be active duty.

I find it is a little difficult to share my military experience with civilians because as cliché as its sounds, you just had to be there. It has been 13 years since I’ve picked up a uniform from the dry cleaners.

It first became a topic of discussion when our squadron lined up to count off and I yelled “R1” when it was my time—“Reservist 1”.

As a reservist, I was happy this was something I only had to do once a month. Depending on who you ask, there are more perks to being a “Weekend Warrior” than being active duty.

I knew going into the service that I wanted to do something in the medical field as a civilian and needed the training from the Air Force to do it.

However, many find themselves hanging up the uniform and thinking, “Now what?”

Not everyone has the luxury to “begin with the end in mind” which according to Steven Covey is one of the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.

Many enlisted not knowing what their assigned jobs would be or where they were going until they met with the career guide during basic training.

This was the day some found out they were assigned to Security Forces and headed to the Demilitarized Zone, commonly referred to as The DMZ, in South Korea or that their recruiter had lied to them about their first duty station in Hawaii.

It was the day we all realized that not all AFSCs/MOSs were created equal or had a civilian counterpart.

1. GET ON LinkedIn. I was laid off during the pandemic and another veteran told me LinkedIn offers a free one-year subscription to veterans: https://socialimpact.linkedin.com/programs/v eterans/premiumform Set up your profile and start connecting with people in the industries and fields to which your skills translate.

Fast forward to separation year.

You’re holding the out processing checklist and you see the Transition Assistance Program' on the list, which according to the Department of Veterans Affairs “provides information, resources, and tools to service members and their loved ones to help prepare for the move from military to civilian life.” Service members begin TAP one year before separation or two years before retiring.”

This is too late.

For some, there is no clear transition and so after 20 years they find themselves learning how to translate the bullets from their Enlisted Performance Review into layman's terms for their new civilian resume.

Fortunately, as any veteran will tell you, your military experience shapes your mental fortitude to conquer anything that the civilian work sector may throw at you.

There is hope, regardless of where you are in your military career. When it is time to leave the military behind you will know. Here are five things you can to be the writeHER of your own destiny.

2. Seek out your base education officer and learn about which schools will accept your military training as credits. Education counselors also make great career guidance counselors.

3. Every time you write an EPR/OPR, write a resume to match it! The verbiage will be hard to translate in some cases, though this will introduce you to formatting and best practices.

Every time you ask for a reference, write an example of what you want your reference to say.

Provide this to the person as a guide to include in the letter. If they don’t follow your format, they will introduce you to another. There are many acceptable formats in the civilian world. Your mind is blown, I know.

4. Seek out professional networking/volunteer groups related to your interest. Diversify yourself! Connect civilians to military service members and veterans. Invite a civilian to your world in the uniform. Share how your military experience shaped you. This is where change can happen.

5. Know that you are not alone! Many civilian resumes show diverse experiences and careers.

Decision-makers will favor a candidate with a well-rounded perspective. Even if your AFSC/MOS doesn’t have a civilian counterpart, your experience does and is relevant!

You decided to let service be a part of your foundation. Now decide to begin again.

d l

By: Laura Jones

As VetHERans, we earned benefits simply by serving; however, Women Veterans are also eligible for benefits and opportunities that accommodate and celebrate our unique experiences.

Personally, I have found the Women’s Talking Service group enlightening as I have met women from all ages and services and we’ve shared our stories, cried on our shoulders, and built each other up again.

The Vet Center national hotline is staffed around the clock for support and information.

Women serve, too, and it’s great to see the growing number of programs and services available to us.

The counselors are usually veterans themselves, which helps to have someone who can relate to similar experiences we have.

Did you serve overseas?

There’s a national organization for that!

Currently, there are 18 states that offer Women Veterans License Plates.

If your state is not listed, you can contact your local representative and work with them to draft legislation to provide this benefit specifically for women veterans.

Women Veterans are pushing for this benefit in WA state and I had the pleasure of speaking at the committee hearing in support of this bill.

Although WA state offers several service specific plate options, “Woman Veteran” is not one of them, and we are often assumed to be the wife of the veteran when we park in spots reserved for “Veterans.”

A Woman Veteran plate distinctly reminds the community that women serve proudly too!

Another benefit for women veterans and our families is the community-based social services options at the VA’s Vet Centers.

Other options at the Vet Centers vary by location but may include workshops in dance, art, yoga, mindfulness, music/guitar, partner support, couples’ enhancement and many others.

The Vet Centers also welcome ideas from veterans on offering workshops that would be beneficial in a healing capacity.

Call 877-WAR-VETS (9278387) to find your nearest Vet Center!

The Women’s Overseas Service League was founded in 1921 for women to build and maintain friendships, support causes and rights of women veterans, and remain active in our veteran communities.

The WOSL offers scholarships to women veterans pursuing public service or advancing their military career among other criteria.

Do you have a childhood dream of starting your woman-owned business? Guess what?!

There’s a program for Women veterans and military spouse entrepreneurs! Veteran Women Igniting the Spirit of Entrepreneurship.

This phased program is designed to inspire and support us in turning our business dream into a lucrative enterprise. According to the website, there have been “...[O]ver 3,000 graduates of this program, 65% of which have started/grown their businesses, and 93% are still in operation.”

Registration is now open for the September 2021 V-WISE conference. We are doing things!

Surprisingly, or perhaps not surprisingly, there are benefits that many of us may not even know about, and therefore are underutilized.

Fortunately, as of July of 2020, there’s a list of those benefits by state! Take a look and don’t miss out on any benefits, we’ve earned them!

Several states have statutes enacting women veterans programs and/or have designated a Women Veteran’s day or month, and many states have bills in work.

Last year, Governor Jay Inslee designated June 12th as Women’s Veteran’s Day for WA state! If your state does not have something that is offered in another state such as license plates or a commemorative day or month, contact your representative to introduce these initiatives. We as women veterans can lead the way in making it happen because we know, of course, how to get things done.

Where there’s a woman there’s a way!

Washington State Women’s Veteran Coordinator, Liza Narciso, shares that “Each state has a State Department of Veterans Affairs as well as US DVA, Veterans Service Organization – give them a call – schedule a virtual or in-person appointment and talk to them about what is available for them.

This would be my greatest advice—there’s a saying that says—God helps those who help themselves. The best advocate is ourselves.”

Additionally, as an Military Sexual Trauma (MST) survivor, Liza explains that the availability of mental health assistance was extremely beneficial.

To seek assistance both at Federal VA and State VA – you do not need to have a current rated disability, just visit the nearest medical facility closest to you and inform the intake personnel that you are a victim of MST and that you would like to speak to the MST Coordinator.

We have supportive veteran communities that we can always make stronger by sharing information and resources with other sister veterans.

Staying connected, especially during the pandemic, can be beneficial for our mental health as well as our personal and professional development as we move towards the new normal that is unfolding.

The best benefit of being a woman veteran is the strong sense of family in our powHerful sisterhood.

TogetHER, we are unstoppable!

Warrior ongs Don't Ask BY: SEXY ESTER https://warriorsongs.org/track/1564060/don-t-ask

This song was written based on the life of Army VetHERan, Tracey Cooper-Harris.

Tracey & her wife Maggie filed a federal lawsuit against the VA and the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) with the help of the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) in 2012.

This resulted in a historic ruling in 2013 that declared unconstitutional sections of Title 38, a statute that prevented the VA from granting benefits to Cooper-Harris’ spouse. It was the first case to declare that veterans benefits must be provided to a married veteran no matter the sex of the veteran’s spouse.

In declaring the Title 38 sections unconstitutional, the federal court found there is no military purpose that could justify discriminating against veterans with same-sex spouses, and also found that Title 38 is not rationally related to the military’s commitment to caring for veteran families.

From the recording Women at War: Warrior Songs Vol. 2 Source: Testimony of Army Veteran Tracey Cooper-Harris TRACEY COOPER-HARRIS, ET AL. V. UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, ET AL. Lyrics by Erica Berman & Tracey Cooper-Harris Music by Erica Berman & Sexy Ester Lead Vocals: Lyndsay Evans Electric Guitar: Adam Eder Keyboard: Roscoe Evans Bass Guitar: Brad Schubert Drums: Paul Kennedy Engineered & Produced by Paul Schluter at Megatone Studios Madison, WI on 08/08/2018 © Warrior Songs facebook.com/EsterRocks

t h g i l h g i H

HER

Highlight Woman Veteran Emerging Businesses you should know about!

If there is one new blog you must follow it would be our For the Love of Gourmet by Claire Dieterich—who believes food is love and let me tell you....her food photography is lovely! Claire is clearly passionate about cooking on her site you will discover a variety of recipes: some healthy, some not-so-healthy, some vegetarian or vegan, desserts, entrees, snacks, sides, and more. The bottom line is Claire loves to cook and is ridiculously good at it (trust us, we love to eat)!

A West Point graduate and Army veteran, Claire served for five years on active duty; then worked for corporate America and is now loving life as a stay-at-home mom of four!

This summer we hope you try her refreshing Spicy Mango Margarita or her Summer Flank Steak Salad.

Enjoy a campfire favorite, with her Smores Blondies or hit the trails with her Peanut Butter Chocolate Granola.

Whatever recipe you try—it's bound to be beautiful and delicious.

Follow along at: www.fortheloveofgourmet.com

Blog

Read A Higher Standard: Leadership Strategies from America's First Female Four-Star General,” by Ann Dunwoody, U.S. Army, retired.

The first woman to reach the rank of four-star general offers tactics and wisdom from what she learned from her first command to her last assignment.

Dunwoody's strategies are applicable to any leader, no matter the size or scope of the organization. TOur favorite advice of Dunnwoody's is "Never Walk by a Mistake," a mandate to recognize when something is wrong, big or small, and to hold people accountable. Not only can this save billions for industry, but it can also sometimes save the lives of soldiers and citizens.

A must read on any LeadHER's list.

Shop Join in the fun of Glam Soldier, a boho shop based out of Apex, North Carolina—but thankfully you can experience the shopping experience from anywhere with their weekly Facebook Live Sales!

They have fringe, rockability, boho fabulous and militaria looks for every woman.

The jewelry is phenomenal and their private label items are unique, one-of-a-kind fashion statements.

Check them out and let them know Freedom Sisters sent you. www,glamsoldier.com

If you are a woman veteran-owned business and want to be featured in our HighlightHER section, email us at info@freedomsisters.com

Podcast

Possibly our favorite red-headed sister on the planet is now hosting the Work Culture Consultant Podcast!

Brittinay Lenhart is dishing up some amazing shows that help all leadHERs and future CEOs thrive in the work place.

Brittiany has exceptionately high emotional IQ and can pinpoint toxic work culture issues and help businesses repair and succeed.

As the Work Culture Expert, she started the WCC Podcast with interviews of successful CEOs on how their business thrives through their organizational culture & more.

Tune in on spotify and listen to her dynamic conversation with Joe Altieri, CEO of FlexScreen and one of the winners of Shark Tank! https://open.spotify.com/episode/4yutWJ cgFzTMnXTxSnFrv3? si=eOmaxI40QBKspFVXj7pQiw

LISTEN HERE

Woman

Warrior

WATCH

YOUR

By: Susanna Keilman

We've all heard of the term "Watch Your Six". Growing up, my dad would tell me this relentlessly.

Most of the teachings we learn in the military apply to many situations.

Have situational awareness, know where your exits are, have a contingency plan.

These not only apply to our physical environments but our mental state of mind as well. It can be hard to manage what we cannot see as we've all been trained to pay attention to the signs.

Though we may not have the power to control what's happening to us we can manifest a favorable outcome, specifically when receiving an unexpected and possibly terminal diagnosis.

Breast, lung, and colorectal cancer are the most common cancer diagnoses for women.

Some women have experienced signs and symptoms which led them to make an appointment,

and some women received the news unexpectedly.

No matter how the diagnosis happened, it happened.

Denial, shock and anger might be the first feelings to follow but acceptance leads to the mental fortitude needed to determine the next steps.

Each diagnosis is presented with a recommended treatment plan and for some these plans are enough to reach remission or a cancer-free state.

However, for others, these treatment plans fail for various reasons leaving clinical trials as the only remaining option.

This pandemic has certainly brought forth the importance of clinical trials, but not enough on the logistics of how to get into one.

Clinical trials are the only way a researched treatment can be proven to be more effective and safer than the current standard of care but can

only be accomplished through volunteer participation. As soon as you are diagnosed you and your physician should discuss clinical trials and have this conversation often to decide on when and which path is best for your specific case.

Clinical trials are often thought of as a last resort but can also be considered before starting treatment at all.

There are trials for patients who have not received treatment (treatment naïve) and trials for patients who have failed their first, second, and or third line of treatment.

There are trials for patients with a genetic predisposition to cancer and trials to prevent recurrence or getting cancer at all.

Each trial is designed for a specific patient demographic and lists inclusion (things that must be true) and exclusion (things that cannot be true) criteria a patient must meet to qualify for enrollment into a study.

Educate yourself on the various phases of clinical trials and connect with the clinical research community so you can make an informed decision with your healthcare provider.

Even though cancer is a scary thing, you must face it and know everything about your diagnosis.

Watch your six!

Be familiar with your diagnosis, and don't be afraid to engage in this conversation with your physician and seek second opinions if needed.

Clinical trial navigators, nurse navigators, clinical research coordinators, who are trained professionals that will help you find suitable options to consider.

Healing can come through the standard of care but have situational awareness of treatment options so that you are involved and informed.

Learn more at www.clinicaltrials.gov.

By: Kori Yates

I had survived. Losing a friend in the desert and seeing things I could never have imagined—I had walked through deployment and come home.

Going to work, hanging with friends, even going to church I was still doing all of the things. I was alive, but being alive and having a life is not the same thing.

This is a story you may have experienced yourself. As vetHERrans, if we haven’t been there personally, we certainly know others who have.

In the Bible, Jesus tells us, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” Life.

What does that exactly mean and is it meant for me? I’m alive, but do I have a life?

Whether from wounds of war, moral injury, sexual trauma or any number of other things that war against our soul—we battle to survive and hope for life.

The life Jesus mentions is described by Matthew Henry this way, “Life is inclusive of all good, and stands in opposition to the death threatened; that we might have life, as a criminal has when he is pardoned, as a sick man when he is cured, a dead man when he is raised.”

The life Jesus mentions is described by Matthew Henry this way, “Life is inclusive of all good, and stands in opposition to the death threatened; that we might have life, as a criminal has when he is pardoned, as a sick man when he is cured, a dead man when he is raised.”

But Jesus doesn’t simply mention life, he talks about having life to the full.

This is past simple survival. It’s something for which we all long.

But in the middle of battle, as we wrestle through emotions of fear, guilt, anger and several others things, we start to wonder if God meant this type of real life for us— for me.

Let me reassure you—he did. This kind of life can seem outside of our reach or a thing of the past and getting there on our own is impossible. But God.

In recent years, resources have become more available to help us walk this path. Behavioral health and the VA are helpful things, but friends who have walked through this and come out on the other side with hope and healing share two common denominators: Faith and Community.

Faith—they have put their hope and trust in something far bigger than themselves, Jesus.

Finding their identity in him along with their hope helps them also find healing.

Community—not one of them has walked this road alone. Joining with others under the umbrella of faith has become a key component.

Two communities have specifically used these pieces of faith and community to help veterans and service members live a life and not simply be alive. If this is what you are seeking, I would encourage you to connect with one or both organizations.

REBOOT Recovery helps people overcome trauma. They help veterans, active service members, first responders and their families through faith-based courses, training, and online tools. All courses are taught by those who have walked this path already. You can find more information about them here: https://rebootrecovery.com/

Might Oaks provides peer-to-peer resiliency and recovery programs that serve as the catalyst to assist our Nation’s Warriors dealing with challenges related to the struggles of daily military life, combat deployments and the symptoms of post-traumatic stress (PTS).

The programs are also facilitated by those who have walked through these very things.

You can find more information here: https://www.mightyoaksprograms.org/

If you would like a community of military women to walk alongside you and encourage you in this journey, whether veteran or currently serving, I would also encourage you to check out Planting Roots.

There you’ll find faith-based resources that speak your language and get your life helping you to grow in your faith. You can find them here: https://plantingroots.net/ Women walk through trauma differently but healing comes from the same place.

If you’re struggling to find spiritual or soul healing in a world where you’re simply alive— reach out today.

There is life, abundant life, available for all of us.

Matthew Henry commentary: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+10&version=NIV

By: Cynthia Cline

The demands of being a woman warrior can be overwhelming, which is why the practice of daily affirmations is essential.

Daily affirmations help you challenge and overcome self-sabotaging thoughts to persevere through life's trials.

We asked fellow female service members what affirmations they used to stay focused on the mission and serve their people well, and they did not disappoint.

When faced with failure, these two affirmations ground you in truth, strength and bravery.

“Be Strong, Be Brave, Be Fearless.

You are never alone.”

- Joshua 1:9 paraphrase.

“You're going to know failure if you're brave with your life.”

- Brené Brown

When forced to tackle challenging obstacles, these five affirmations motivate you to push forward and keep going.

“You can do anything, but you can’t do everything.”

- David Allen “Do what you can, where you are, with what you have.”

- Theodore Roosevelt “I can do hard things.”

- Glennon Doyle “If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. It’s the hard that makes it great” - Tom Hanks “I’m not here to be right, I'm here to get it right.”

- Brené Brown Lastly, Christina Mattison, foundHER of Christina Mattison Yoga, shared three core values of her program explicitly designed to provide women in the military the chance to step away from whatever ties them down and find their true strength.

When you struggle with taking control of your life, these three affirmations remind you of your power.

“I am the leader of my life, and I have the power of choice.”

“Small and consistent action create big transformation.”

“I will treat my commitments to myself with respect.”

Sister, repeat these 10 affirmations daily, believe them and allow them to transform you.

Take a screenshot and save them to your phone.

Remember, you are far more capable than you think. www.afaithfulstep.com

BEHIND THE GOLD STAR: An

honor

no

one

wants By: Jennifer Ballou

The term Gold Star Spouse refers to the surviving husband or wife of a service member killed during combat or lost their lives while serving.

This title is one that I certainly never asked for and would not wish on anyone.

Losing my husband to combat in 2010, almost 11 years ago, gave me this title, and with it, the responsibility to share its meaning while keeping his memory alive.

For several of the 21 years I served in the United States Army, I did not know what a Gold Star Spouse was.

Once I became familiar with the term, and even while married to another Soldier who was serving as an infantryman during time of war.

I never considered that this title would become so personal for me.

Staff Sgt. Edwardo Loredo, or Eddie to most, had a smile that lit up the darkest of rooms, energy that never seemed to end and a love for life that most can only wish for. Family, food, and fitness were his favorites and as he was nearing the end of his fourth combat deployment, he was looking forward to being the parent who was back home taking care of our kids.

Eddie was nearing the end of his year in Afghanistan and I was just beginning mine. Prior to June 2010, I had been the one at home with the kids while Eddie was gone each time, juggling the demands of serving in the Army with a deployed spouse and children at home to provide care.

Although it doesn’t happen often, dual military couples can deploy at the same time, or with an overlap, and that was the case for us this time.

This time would be different because Eddie was going to be the one back home while I was deployed and he was ecstatic.

Unfortunately, while on his last combat mission before redeploying back to the United States, Eddie stepped on an Improvised Explosive Device.

He immediately lost his left leg and began fighting for his life, while his team helped get him evacuated and flown to the nearest hospital.

During that time, I was notified of his status and began my trip to be by his side. Upon arrival to Kandahar, Afghanistan, which was hours away from my assigned location, I was prepared to support Eddie in every way possible on his journey to recovery.

He would be without a left leg but would never be without my support.

Immediately upon arriving at Eddie's bedside, I realized he did not make it.

I was too late.

Staff Sgt.Edwardo Loredo was Killed in Action on June 24, 2010, just minutes before his 35th birthday.

He gave his life for you and I. In those early moments, I vowed to do everything I could to keep his memory alive.

I am honored and proud to share that I have done exactly that for the last ten plus years.

That being said, I would not possibly be where or who I am today without the support of many amazing people.

Click here to read a blog I wrote last year about how you can support Gold Star Spouses and Families. I believe I can speak for all of us when I say that your support is greatly appreciated.

The 11-year anniversary of Eddie’s death is upon us and I have a personal request.

If you are interested in honoring his memory with my family and many supporters around the world, click here to learn about the CrossFit Hero Workout Loredo.

Between now and June 24th, perform this workout to honor Eddie’s sacrifice and use #LoredoStrong on any social media platform to connect with us.

Thank you in advance for your tremendous support.

ActivateHER

F r e e d o m

S i s t e r s

connection We invite you to connect and build a community with our incredible EditHER and writeHER team.

We mean it when we say we believe in sisterhood!

We look forward to connecting on Instagram or Linkedin!

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June ActivateHER

There’s nothing wrong with you. There’s a lot wrong with the world you live in.

—Chris Colfer

Between now and June 24th,

perform this workout to honor Eddie’s sacrifice and use

#LoredoStrong on any social media platform to connect with us.

Enjoy a spicy

mango

margarita from the blog

For the love of

gourmet

Still in uniform and rocking the new approved braid and ponytail? we wanna see you!

Tag us on Instagram @freedomsistersmedia

Screenshot an affirmation to remind yourself how amazing you are!