Freedom Sisters Magazine | December 2021 | Joyful G.I. Jane

December 2021 • VOL . 1 • ISSUE 12

FreedomSisters •AMPLIFY WOMEN VETERANS•

Finding Joy and Purpose through Healing Inner Peace for the Mentally Tough Unwrap Our Gift Guide Inside

What I Won From Losing The Abundance Mindset

Turning Your Passions into Passages

•MAGAZINE•

•AMPLIFY WOMEN VETERANS• December 2021 | Vol. 1 | Issue 12 Publisher Freedom Sisters Media, LLC

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Aaliyah Al-Mahdi Jennifer Rodriguez | Kerri Jeter Elis Salamone Allaina Rapps Amy Forsythe | Jacqueline Zappey | Joanna Sweatt Susanna Keilman | Elis Salamone

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Copyright | 2020-2021 | Freedom Sisters Media LLC Freedom Sisters Media respects the rights of all writeHERs, Photographers, Artists, and copyright holders. Consequently, all works that appear on this platform do so with the consent of the writeHER/s or the copyright holder. No image or information display on this site may be reproduced, transmitted, or copied without the express written permission of Freedom Sisters Media. Contravention is an infringement of the Copyright Act and its amendments and may be subject to legal action.

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From the EditHER-in-Chief This is a very special time of year for me, personally. I am filled with a renewed hope that is deeply rooted in my faith. I marvel at the fact that a single birth all those years ago, still gets celebrated and honored today. If you are like me you may be celebrating Advent. The word 'advent' literally means 'coming' and it is a time of reflection on the coming of Christ into the world at his birth... It is also a time of hoping for what is to come.

I know these past couple of years have felt heavy, long and at times hopeless—but as we keep pressing into the mission here at Freedom Sisters, we are reminded each month of the power of healing, mindset and personal courage. Our Featured Sister this month is Vanity Dawson, who has turned her pain into joy and purpose—now leading a life to help others do the same, read all about her on page 25. She is a true Joyful G.I. Jane!

We have our first ever Gift Guide loaded with incredible sisters-in-arms businesses to find that perfect gift for any woman on your list! Whoever made your gift list this year will surely love the surprises we have ready for you to unwrap on page 19.

Although there is much joy to be found this time of year, many also face struggles and hardships that can overshadow the delight. So we have a few articles to help you discover new ways to unlock Inner Peace now and into the new year on page 11; or how to discover the wins in losing on page 45 and navigate through the difficult season of divorce on page 49.

It is my sincere hope that the words you read in the pages of the Freedom Sisters Magazine bring you great joy, community and empowerment to go out and live your best life.

We are looking forward to 2022 and new ways to enjoy the magazine, please check out our new website and subscribe today!

Today we celebrate a year of publishing and are ready to keep the mission moving forward for years to come!

Kerri Jeter

Contents

25

19

In every Issue Note from the EditHER HighlightHER WriteHER Connection

HER Life

Embrace the Wonder of Winter With an Outdoor Adventure

MentHERship

HERstory

What Happened to my Hair

The Dignified Divorce

Inner Peace for the Mentally Tough

Freedom Sisters Holiday Gift Guide

Don’t let the cold weather put a damper on your outdoor adventures or your mood. There’s no shortage of resorts and parks to visit this winter to explore the best snowy landscapes North America has to offer.

PAGE 5

PAGE 9

PAGE 15

11 45

49 FoundHER

HER Next Mission

Finding Joy and Purpose through Healing

Turning Your Passions into Passages

Air Force veteran, Vanity Dawson, is a real life ‘Joyful G.I. Jane. Read her incredible story and her work to help others find Joy and Purpose in their healing journey with her business, Take My Hand.

Identify Your Needs in Transition

Woman Warrior What I Won from Losing The Abundance Mindset

PAGE 25

It's Complicated—My Relationship with the VA.

PAGE 35

PAGE 46

Embrace the Wonder of Winter with an Outdoor Adventure By: Aaliyah Al-Mahdi

W

inter is here and with the season we’re experiencing shorter days and colder weather.

For most of us, we tend to spend winter huddled inside and sometimes putting fun or adventures on hold.

But, the colder months are actually a prime time for planning a trip that will bring you joy.

Don’t let the nip in the air and the snowfall discourage you from making plans for a getaway.

Remember the magic you experienced as a child of playing in the snow and the exhilaration of being outdoors in the chilly climate?

Design a vacation around that bit of nostalgia, but with a grownup twist.

Plan for activities like cocktails in front of a fire, delicious food and of course some outdoor fun.

Where to go for Winter Activities If you’re a winter sports novice, an expert level skier or a snowboarder, there’s plenty of opportunities for winter adventures at various well-known winter destinations throughout the U.S. and Canada.

Breckenridge is a Colorado resort with five different peaks that range in difficulty from steep runs and trails that are above the treeline to less advanced trails. If you’re a nature lover or just crave a slower pace, look into guided naturalist tours that take place on skis, with a ranger guiding you through the snow-covered forest.

If you’re on the East Coast, head to Stowe, Vermont to a resort that features trails perfect for skiers and snowboarders of all levels. There are also 18 miles of more rugged terrain if you’re into backcountry skiing.

You can also take a scenic gondola ride to the top of Mt. Mansfield, which is Vermont's highest mountain. If you’re looking for some adventure off of the slopes, take a short trip into Burlington, which is about 40 minutes away. While you’re there, explore the restaurant scene and sample craft beer at local breweries.

Sun Valley Resort in Idaho is a ski resort made up of two different mountains, Bald Mountain and Dollar Mountain. As the name suggests, the ski town gets lots of sunshine, 120 days out of the 150day ski season, on average. Hit the slopes, with the more challenging trails on Bald Mountain, or visit Dollar Mountain for the more gentler ones. Take time off the slopes and enjoy a horse-drawn sleigh ride, relax at the spa or explore the many places to dine.

Leavenworth, Washington is located in the eastern portion of the state and receives substantial snowfall. This tiny town has a Bavarian theme and boasts many German restaurants, a brewery and lots of boutiques and shops. Winter activities in Leavenworth include dog sledding, sleigh rides, snowshoeing, snowboarding and more.

Head to Canada to the town of Whistler, just north of Vancouver, British Columbia.

Whistler is home to Whistler Blackcomb, one of the largest ski resorts in North America.

Whistler offers skiing and snowboarding, but also snowshoeing and tobogganing. The area boasts plenty of off-slope activities like shopping and Whistler’s culinary scene is a must for any foodie.

Banff National Park in Alberta, Canada is the nation’s oldest national park. The park is located in Alberta's Rocky Mountains and is home to mountainous terrain, glaciers, ice fields and alpine landscapes.

Banff offers quintessential winter activities like dog sledding, snowmobiling, sleigh rides and snow tubing. For the ultra adventurous, there’s also helicopter and cave tours, ice fishing and ice climbing, which is like rock climbing but braving the winter elements.

Don’t miss out on a winter adventure. Start planning your escape to any of the places mentioned in this article or look into other resorts and parks throughout the country.

Then book your adventure, pack your bags and get ready for a joyous escape into winter bliss.

Connect with us & share your stories! #amplifywomenveterans #freedomsistersmagazine

G

rowing up I always had fine, smooth and silky hair. All I had to do was blow dry it and it would be shiny and straight.

Back then, my hair was super low maintenance, just like me.

Before basic training in 2002, I cut my hair super short so I didn’t have to take time putting it up. Fast forward to my first duty assignment; my hair was finally long enough to start wearing a bun. I had the tightest bun and slickest hair you could imagine. I did the sock bun and used a lot of hair glue gel. Not a single hair was out of place.

After several months, I started to wonder why my hair was always so frizzy. I couldn’t just blow dry my hair anymore, I had to use a straightener every time.

While growing up, I never really did much with my hair, so I wasn’t used to having to “fix” my hair every day. I assumed it was just my hair changing as I aged, but it was so embarrassing if left unkempt.

I spent about 10 years trying every different product imaginable to make my hair look the way it did when I was younger. Anti-frizz shampoo and conditioner— yep! Creams for split ends—you bet! Treatment for shine—absolutely! It didn’t matter what I tried, nothing worked and I grew to hate my hair.

What Happened to my

By: Jennifer Rodriguez

In 2013, I was at a salon getting my haircut and the stylist asked me what I liked and disliked about my hair. I let her know about my embarrassing frizz struggle over the last several years. She told me that when I put my hair up wet, it breaks easier, and that if I could avoid putting it up wet (so hard to do in the military) my hair would start to look healthier.

I then noticed that where the “frizz” was on my hair was at the same point where I would put the ponytail holder on my hair. I thought to myself it can’t be that simple, but I was willing to try anything at this point.

After that day, I refused to put my hair up wet—no matter what. I bought a travel hair dryer to dry my hair after physical training (PT). I started using just hairspray to keep my fly-aways down.

It would take me longer to get ready and sometimes make me sweaty from the hair dryer, but I knew it would be worth it eventually. I stopped caring about having perfect hair and started focusing on ensuring my hair is healthy. After several months, my hair was noticeably healthier and looked smoother.

In 2016, I was blessed to be able to complete my master’s program while on active duty. I was able to go to school every day, in civilian clothes.

I didn’t have to wear a uniform or put my hair in a bun for two years. I knew this was an opportunity for my hair to heal. I rarely put my hair in a ponytail during those two years and it was amazing!

I have since perfected my hair routine. I only wash my hair two to three times a week, at home. I use dry shampoo and conditioner in between washes.

I started using all natural specialty hair products because they make my hair look, feel, and smell amazing. The only styling product I use after I put my hair up is a lightweight hairspray.

This allows me to easily brush it out after work and my hair looks fabulous enough to do date night without having to use additional products or a straightener, etc.

Lastly, because you never know what will happen, I always pack my travel hair dryer in my gym bag just in case I have to wash my hair after PT. I also keep spiral bobby pins in my bag in the event I have to put my hair up wet to avoid any damage.

I hope these tips can help you to love your hair again too!

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Inner Peace for the Mentally Tough By: Kerri Jeter

L

etting go of certain things opens the door that can lead to true contentment in life. In the Army one of the lines in the Soldier’s Creed is ‘I am disciplined, physically and mentally tough’ but the vital component to understanding mental toughness is knowing inner peace—something the military does not encourage very well.

Mental toughness and inner peace go hand in hand, those of us who have served know that mentally strong individuals can handle anything the military throws their way.

Mentally Tough doesn’t mean that you won’t feel pain, sadness, or loss—quite the opposite, the mentally tough feel emotions very deeply—the difference is where they spend their energy. Instead of trying to change someone or spiraling into wishing things were different, the mentally tough stay focused on their feelings, thoughts and emotions—self-improvement is a priority.

In order to gain your inner peace consider giving up these five things and regain confidence in your own mental toughness.

Chasing Happiness We live in the age of Instagram perfection, but thinking you have to be happy all the time, will not only backfire, but you will miss the long satisfaction of joy and contentment.

Self-Loathing Stop hating yourself for failed relationships, loss of a comrade, or missed promotions—you can’t always prevent bad things from happening. You can take personal responsibility while knowing there are factors outside your control.

Life is hard, but sitting in the satisfaction of your own journey is incredibly powerful— reflect on where you have been and set your mind on where you want to go. Look for ways to build a brighter future and create long-term goals to have something to work on in yourself and for yourself.

Mentally strong people recognize personal accountability for their own choices. Things to consider to become better at self-accountability: admitting to a mistake, telling those who are affected and helping to problemsolve for solutions. Maybe most importantly, you must take time for self-reflection and intentionally learn from mistakes and shortcomings.

Victim Mindset In order to take ownership of your life, you must stop thinking the world or people are out to get you. Trust me there are a lot of traumas suffered by those who served, especially women, but the mentally strong acknowledge their choices, no matter the tragedy that may be a part of the narrative.

Focus on the things you can control and let go of what you cannot.

Staying Comfortable Life happens when we step outside our comfort zones, it is a place of excitement, fear and vulnerability but it is the place that shows us what we are made of. Staying inside our comfort zones and avoiding discomfort can have negative results.

People who have a victim mentality have usually suffered through trauma or hard times, but haven't developed a proper way to cope. As a result, they develop a negative view of life. Moving forward you have the power to change that and create a life you want.

Facing your fears and testing your limits can have positive impacts on your inner peace and cultural shifts at large. Look at the grassroots efforts of military sexual trauma survivors and supporters who came together and flooded social media with the #iamvanessaguillen hashtag and rallied across the nation to push for long overdue reforms in the military. All that was possible with each individual stepping outside their comfort zone —and the lasting impacts that will have on the future of women in the military will be immeasurable.

Complete Self-Reliance We were not created to be alone and depend on ourselves for everything. When you rely only on yourself—it’s about acting tough—not actually being strong.

There will be times you need help and being at peace with asking for help when you need it, shows resilience, not weakness.

Many strong-minded folks rely on a higher power, a therapist, a best friend, or a spouse during times of need and times of prosperity— having a team provides a renewed sense of peace and belonging.

Peace is the essence of what the meaning of Christmas is all about, but inner peace doesn’t have to be cultivated only during the holiday hustle and bustle.

Try these three exercises to promote inner peace for your own mental toughness all year long.

Count your blessings, not your burdens Write down three things you are grateful for every day to shift your thoughts from negative to positive.

Practice mindfulness, increase your focus Take a minute to pay attention to the world around you—sights, sounds, smells. Then do a quick scan of your body and pay attention to how you feel—breathe.

Behave like the person you want to become Don’t fake being rich, having confidence or worse, having an ego, rather practice being consistent, work ethic and action—results and dreams will follow.

Our Mission is steadfast.

New Layout. New ways to read.

Serve: Drive change by understanding the legacy and contributions of women’s military service; feature the “Woman warrior of the month” provide practical mentorship advice, and inspire others by sharing personal narratives of women who defend freedom.

Lead: Home to our featured cover photo, stories, and main interviews that highlight leading women in nonprofits, Corporate America and entrepreneurship, and their success after the uniform. Quick LeadHER profile, and informational and impactful takeaways to help the more than 30,000 women who leave the military annually to find success in their transitions to civilian life.

Thrive: Learn about, get out, and experience women veteran favorites: travel, adventure, food, music, books, workouts, gear, and more. We discuss the latest must-haves for any woman veteran and share critical healing stories and resources to empower our readers to flourish in life.

Next: Explore underutilized resources to succeed after service; discover and support emerging entrepreneurs, and discuss the importance of policies, laws, and programs that concern women veterans. Useful tips for post-service advancement and more.

SERVE LEAD THRIVE NEXT

T

he ending of a marriage is never easy no matter the circumstances. Do you remember your wedding day? Most wedding days are filled with love, happiness and promises of “till death do us part.”

Whether it was a deployment, moving far from family, the hardships of being a single parent while the servicemember is gone for another temporary assignment or deployment—the hardships are real and life altering.

Light at the End of The Tunnel

However for many, as the days, months, years passed, while you were building a life together, did you wake up one day and realize you just weren’t happy? Or did the stress of military life, like constant moves or deployments, break the bond of forever?

The military has some of the highest divorce rates in the U.S.—the Air Force having the highest.

It’s believed that a good percentage of Air Force couples met and married prior to military service, causing the strain of military life to be too much for couples to handle.

By: Elis Salamone

The Dignified Divorce

No matter how hard the ending of a marriage is, you will get through it. It’s important to remember that life goes on and although life may seem messy and hard during this period, it will eventually come to an end and a new chapter will begin. It may seem difficult to remember the good and the love that brought you together, but it is imperative to get through those hard days.

One of the best pieces of advice is to think before you speak, read aloud any post you find yourself writing on social media before posting it and remembering once it’s on the internet it will be there forever. Lastly, think about how you want to be remembered during this turbulent period in your life.

As Michelle Obama is famous for saying “when they go low, we go high”, remember those tough days may challenge you to the very limits of your sanity. Think of all those resiliency lessons you learned in the military and utilize them. Surround yourself with people that support you, lift you up and show respect for you but also the marriage that once was. Avoid speaking poorly about your spouse to your family in case that in the rare instance you work things out.

Speaking kindly and respectful to your soon to be ex, no matter how difficult it will be, will save your heart, soul and mind. Anger and resentment are toxic to your body and health. Realizing that although you both had a part in the ending of the marriage, you do not have to stoop to name calling, fighting in front of your children, or letting everyone know on Facebook what a jacka** your soon to be ex is.

The way you present yourself to the world during these tough times says just as much about you as your spouse.

Choose Respect and Kindness, No Matter How Hard It May Be! In kindergarten we learn to treat others as we would want to be treated, as you’re going through some of the most difficult days of your life— choose kindness and respect over anger and resentment.

Using those muscles will take practice and persistence but will serve you, your children, your family and others around you well.

If you’re thinking, “my ex is doing and saying this and that…” your commitment to being a better person will reward you in the end. If nothing else your children will be better for it.

The Gap versus Gain Mindset During a Divorce From the moment you hear “I want a divorce” or the moment you decide you want a divorce—your mindset will determine how you get through this period.

In the book The Gap and The Gain, the High Achievers’ Guide to Happiness by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy, tells a story about a client that was going through a divorce after 15 years of marriage.

The client did not want the divorce, but the spouse was no longer living the same values they once shared. After numerous failed attempts to reconcile the client realized the divorce was imminent and he had to accept the inevitable.

How an individual acts at the end of a relationship is more telling than the beginning. So, hold your head high, surround yourself with a good support system, nourish those friendships and remember this too shall pass. Focus on thriving, your health, children and career. Focus on the positives in your life—use that good energy and mindset to carry you through and to finding love again.

Lastly do not let divorce sour you from dating again, dare greatly, be vulnerable to not only loving again but finding your next chapter in love.

“I’d rather regret the things I’ve done than regret the things I haven’t done.”

— Lucille Ball

Once the Dust Settles Can you find some common ground with your ex-spouse to at least have an amicable relationship? It may never happen because it takes two, but you can do your best to make this happen. Research shows that about 80% of children of divorce adapt well and see no lasting negative effects on their grades, social adjustment or mental health (Shrader, J. 2015).

In case of abuse, it’s imperative to seek therapy to repair, learn, grow and heal from the abuse. Finding empowerment when leaving an abusive relationship can be the first step in creating your best next chapter.

Building a positive support network is a crucial step towards moving forward in cases of abuse that resulted with loss of family, a parent, home to re-establish stability.

“Divorce isn’t such a tragedy. A tragedy’s staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce.” ― Jennifer Weiner “Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.”

— Deborah Reber

About The Author Elis has been through two divorces during her active-duty career (first after 7 years of marriage; the second after 13 years of marriage) and a child custody battle that ended in joint custody, but her ex-husband getting primary custody due to her military assignment in England at the time. During these periods in her life, prayer, positive thinking and staying in the “gain” kept her sane, dignified and thriving. You will never find any negative commentary about her ex’s or divorce on social media. Elis is also happily engaged to a wonderful man after seven years of a loving relationship, daring greatly to love again.

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H o l s i r d e a t yG s i S i

Happy Holidays to you! We know there are many options to choose from when it comes to holiday shopping—so we wanted to present a list that directly supports our sisters (and a few brothers) this season!

We have gifts for everyone and of course we are starting our list off with our very own Christmas Bundle, get a shirt, print subscription, premium emagazine and stickers for $75! Order by December 10, 2021 to unwrap on Christmas morning. Subscription will be mailed in January!

For MotHERs

Cater to Mom Gift boxes for new moms

Sweet Support Candle for Military Moms

Military Photo Bracelet Jewelery with meaning

For Babies

Busy Baby Mat Never pick up another toy again

Bibia Interactive Augmented Reality Toys

Happy Birthday Bird Make birthday memories last

For Little Kids

Sgt Sleeptight Defender of sweet dreams

D is for Dino Kit Dinosaur PlayDoh Kit

Bloom Crayons Beautiful Colors for little artists

For Foodies

Mutt's Sauce Combo Pack is a must try

Cleverly No-Grain-ola Variety Pack

Toasted Pecan Vinegerette Perfect for the holidays

For the Love of Gourmet Cookbook available

Grove Cookie Company Cookies are perfect for giving

Organic Cotton Candy Visions of Sugar

For AventureHERs

Luminary Bags Prepare for anything

OutPatch Give where you go

Unique PL8S unique way to display license plates

For unboxHERs

MilSO Box Joy Delievered

Brave Crate For Spouses of the deployed

Troopster For the deployed

For ReadHERs

Grace and Mercy Devo Journal Kathleen Yancosek

Summoned Megan Brown

Shatter the Sky Col. Merryl Tengesdal (Ret.)

The Grit Factor Shannon Huffman Polson

C.A.L.M.E.D Growth After Trauma Jennifer Hobbs

They Fought For Each Other Kelly Kennedy

For Fashionistas

Sword and Plough Handbags with Impact

Bang Bang Ballistic Jewlery Handmade Treasures

Queen Of Spades Style Hair wraps and more

For InduldgeHERs

Bon AppeSweet Good for you Chocolate

Joshica Beauty Natural Beauty Products

Southern Elegance Co. Indulgent Candles

For CelebrateHERs

Heroes Vodka For the Vodka Enthusiast

Merica Bourbon For the Whiskey Drinker

Bottle Breecher Grinch Freedom Frag

By: Allaina Rapps Photo By: Jeremmy Salazar

‘Tis the season to spread joy and cheer, right?

But how can you feel joy if you can't see beyond your own traumas? You may feel isolated and the holiday season can exasperate that sense of loneliness.

Dawson was a single mother to her son JJ, attending college, but was unsuccessful in her studies. After aging out of foster care several years prior and attempting to leave the trauma behind her, she wanted something different.

You might find it difficult to be merry this time of year, and ya know what? It’s ok! When we face significant circumstances at one time or another, it can seem impossible to let the light in and feel joy. But there is hope!

Dawson served in Airfield Management for eight years in the Air National Guard, based out of Joint Base Andrews, Maryland.

Originally from Manhattan, this bright and courageous woman chose to serve in the military as a way out.

I want to share with you a real life ‘Joyful G.I. Jane,’ who found joy through her trauma.

Air Force veteran, Vanity Dawson, is often described as ‘effervescent’ because of her bubbly, goofy and joyful personality.

By the time Dawson was a young adult, she had many physical and emotionally abusive experiences to include being molested by a family member and other sexual assaults.

Where Trauma Turns to Triumph.

Dawson is now a Victim Advocate, Author, Trauma Coach, Speaker and devout believer in Christ. She has also earned her DoD Sexual Assault Advocate Certification Program (DSAACP) Level II, Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP) Level I designations, has a bachelors degree in Psychology and a Master’s in clinical mental health counseling. Dawson also is the foundHER of Take My Hand, LLC and a nonprofit, Delicate Flowers.

Follow our conversation below to see how she turned her traumas into triumph.

FSM: Tell me about yourself.

Dawson: I would describe myself as resilient, with a lot of drive and passion. I like to have fun and laugh. I love people. I care to see that people are happy and have joy.

My purpose is to restore hope and help people heal. That brings me joy.

FSM: What is your degree in and how did you come to start your business?

Dawson: I just finished my Masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling because education is super important and that was another way out for me. Focusing on my education, it was kind of an outlet.

I started Take My Hand (TMH) in 2018 because I got tired. I got tired of hurting and I got tired of seeing other people hurt.

My purpose is to restore hope and help people heal.

That brings me joy.

FSM: What is the meaning behind TMH? Dawson: It’s called TMH because I make it my business to pull people out of their ditch. Pull people out of their past. I was able to do that through God. He pulled me out. So now I am able to pull other people out.

Life is better when you have help, when you have support. I want to be that support for other people when it comes to their mental health.

It was such a weird story, how I even got to that field. Never in a million years did I think I would be a therapist.

FSM: I was going to ask about that. Can you talk about why you felt compelled to go into the mental health field?

Dawson: After graduating high school, I went to college for business. But I kept failing my classes, then I took a break, and after that I joined the Air Force.

That is where I found my purpose. Because I was this lost girl in different cycles of abuse.

In the Air Force I became a victim advocate for sexual assault, helping service members who had experienced sexual trauma. From there I started teaching sexual assault prevention. Never in a million years did I think I was going to do that, either.

So I came back to God, and asked, ‘God, are you sure you want me to do this?’ He said, 'change it again.’

This time I talked to an advisor at school and psychology is what I went into. As soon as I got into psychology, my education took off.

I was making straight A's. It was so natural.

How does that all tie together with my education and going into this field? I was a business major but I kept failing.

That helped me become a better Victim Advocate. I wanted to become an actual Victim Advocate, not just a volunteer.

Then one day, I was praying and I heard God say, 'change your major.’

Before I was a Victim Advocate in the Air Force, I’d get triggered and try to leave the room during mandatory Sexual Assault Prevention and Response (SAPR) training because of my past experiences.

Now, I'm not saying when I joined So I changed it. I changed it to the Air Force everything was sociology and I sat in Sociology peaches and cream because it 101 and I barely passed it. wasn't, but I found my purpose.

FSM: At that time you hadn't dealt with your trauma?

Dawson: No, I hadn’t dealt with it and I would leave the room or I would sit there and feel like I was dying inside.

But I'm glad all of that happened because I needed to work through that. I needed to heal through that. Then I started wondering how many other people have experienced sexual trauma and they’re suffering or they’re holding this secret in.

My psychology program helped me with the victim advocacy program. And when I was in that victim advocacy program, I loved it. I didn't run away from healing anymore.

That's why I started my business. I wanted to help people who’ve experienced sexual abuse. I have to help people because I was being strengthened and I was becoming that voice. I knew that God was using me because I went from that girl who was silent and wouldn’t say anything—to one who started advocating for other victims' needs. I wanted to see them happy and I wanted to see them whole and healed, because they deserve that.

FSM: Is that how you found your purpose?

Dawson: I knew this was my purpose. When I graduated with my psychology degree, I asked God what was next.

Which is what led me to my masters degree. Not only will I teach awareness, I want people to know the signs of abuse.

There's so many different layers to trauma. People need information. It was important for me to get my education so I could make people aware. Because when they're hurting, they feel like there's no life for them. They feel like they can't move forward. I was there, but there's a way out. They don't have to live like that. I feel like it definitely goes hand in hand with education and the business and the victim advocacy—everything just fell together.

With TMH I do guest speaking, coaching and training.

That's what we do here.

I have a mission to help families, help people. Because trauma is destroying families.

That first mission is for them to get what they need internally. So they can do things that they want to do on the outside.

Back then, I was that quiet girl, but I learned to speak up.

I’d say, ‘if the people are not well, if the troops are not well, then they cannot complete the mission. You want the mission done, but the people have to be well. Then you'll get the mission done effectively.’ They'll be able to focus. I was advocating for that.

FSM: Oh, there’s that passion, I love it! Does TMH have a mission statement?

Dawson: Our mission at TMH is to be a hand of support for sexual assault survivors and a champion for prevention.

We help survivors become champions. We help them get to a place where they can talk about it. So they might be able to help the next person.

I always think about Harriet Tubman, how she went back to help other slaves go north. Since I'm here now, let me go, I have to go back and get some people so they can get out too.

FSM: Can you elaborate on services that TMH provides?

Dawson: We provide training and guest speaking on different mental health topics like sexual assault prevention, suicide prevention, child abuse prevention, stress and anger management and work-life balance.

We also provide one-on-one trauma coaching.

I have my CCTP-I, which is a certification to work with people who have experienced trauma. Most of the people I've worked with have experienced sexual abuse and domestic violence.

I don't turn people away for domestic violence because they go hand in hand.

FSM: Do you have to be local to receive TMH services?

Dawson: I'm in Maryland, but I provide services virtually to anyone, anywhere, anytime.

FSM: Can anyone hire you to come conduct training?

FSM: What is one thing you would tell survivors of trauma?

Dawson: Yes. Currently, most of my business is from small businesses. But I am working on getting contracts with DoD. FSM: As it relates to your trauma coaching, what does the healing process look like?

Dawson: God still loves you. God has always loved you. You are loved. Trauma feels like it is meant to kill, steal and destroy your soul, your heart, your mind, your life. But you're stronger than that. You can be restored. You are loved and healing is your portion.

Dawson: It depends on what you’re seeking and what your goals are.

That's what I would say. Because it's the truth. It can be your truth.

FSM: So it’s different for every person?

FSM: I love it.

Dawson: Oh, yes. I will say this-- you're going to be uplifted. Your hope is going to be restored. If you feel stuck, we're going to get you unstuck.

Dawson: You have victory! You have victory! You have victory!

You're going to be inspired. You are going to take a step forward in healing, it is not an overnight process. People have to be willing to put in the work. I can't do the work for clients.

But I'm here to help them towards healing—to move forward in life. You're going to gain different tools on how to move forward from your traumatic experiences. Included with all of this in my book, Life After Trauma that I give, as well as additional online resources.

FSM: Where can we go to learn more about TMH or the other services you provide?

Dawson: You can find all the programs I offer on my website at www.vanitydawson.com.

Or send an email to info@vanitydawson.com to speak with me directly. You can also check us out on Instagram or Facebook.

FSM: That is awesome. Is there anything you would like to add?

Dawson: Take care of and love the people around you. Love is greater than hate.

Trauma feels like it is meant to kill, steal and destroy your soul, your heart, your mind, your life. But you're stronger than that. You can be restored.

You Deserve Joy. You are not alone and that through your experiences there is hope, there is healing and there is purpose. I want to encourage you not to rob yourself of the joy you deserve. No matter what your circumstances or situation may be.

Dawson is a great example and encouragement to others. We have the power within us to transform the hurt into healing and the healing into helping others live a full and joyful life.

Just like Dawson, you can take someone else’s hand and lift them up out of their darkness. Because you are more than your circumstances.

If you or someone you know could benefit from Take My Hand, please reach out here, to discover joy and purpose through healing.

Turning Your Passions into Passages By: Amy Forsythe

Many veterans have turned their military service experience into a best-selling book.

With self-publishing options, you don’t need a literary agent or book deal from a New York City publishing house to turn your passion into passages and position yourself as an expert and influencer.

People have always told me I should write a book and publish photos from my overseas assignments but I haven’t really had the time or desire to embark on such a project until now.

When COVID hit, my sense of drive and purpose went into overdrive by trying to compensate for not being able to travel or move about freely so I had to look inward and reflect on the past 20 years of combat deployments and other overseas deployments.

As a military combat photographer and serving on many overseas deployments, people regularly encouraged me to start writing and sharing my experiences.

I finally decided to commit to writing a book and deciding on what to write came fairly easy when I stopped dreading the process. It’s taken me about 12 months to finally finish and I’m so excited to get to the finish line just before Christmas.

Getting Inspired Inspiration came to me as I was making the 45minute commute to work every day on Marine Corps Base Camp Pendleton, just outside Oceanside, California, where I work as a Public Affairs Officer for the U.S. Marine Corps. I was noticing all the new memorials and markers honoring Marines lost during Operation Enduring Freedom and Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Hundreds of Marines from the base were killed during the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq from 2001 to 2021 and there are many tributes, markers, statues, etc., but not many Gold Star families or people from the civilian community can enter the base to see them.

I decided to compile photos and tell their stories in a book titled, “Heroes Live Here: A Tribute to Camp Pendleton Marines Since 9/11.”

Getting Clarity on Your Purpose Here are seven questions to ponder if you’re considering writing a book: 1. Do you understand the difference between writing and publishing?

2. Are you listening to the advice of others?

3. Who is this book for?

4. Are you already writing about this?

5. What are other people saying about this topic?

6. Can you confidently talk about your book idea?

7. Who is supporting you?

(Courtesy of Hope Writers who provide training and guidance for those exploring the possibilities) Taking The First Steps

This became a passion project for me because I was stationed on Camp Pendleton for many years while serving in the Marine Corps and deployed to Iraq twice and Afghanistan three times.

Many of the stories included in the book are of personal connections I had with Marines who were killed or injured. To learn more about the book, you can visit the website: www.heroeslivehere.com.

Once you find the same passion for a topic, you can also write a book! Becoming a published author is a huge career milestone that will boost your authority, generate passive income, and increase marketing opportunities.

If you’re wondering how to get started, I recommend first asking yourself a few introspective questions.

Although writing and publishing can be two steps of one process, they are two completely separate processes with different ends.

You can write to publish, but you can also write for yourself. You may write, for instance, to process something that has happened to you. Publishing, however, is always for someone else—your reader.

While writing can be art, craft and expression, publishing is a strategic business. Whether it’s fiction or nonfiction, entertainment or advice, your words provide a service to your reader. What you publish will be seen and can influence and impact people in ways you may not even realize. Now’s the time to decide if you and your words are ready for that.

Build Your Team For Success To help me achieve the end state of getting the book printed and in books stores, I hired a consultant to help me with getting the ISBN, registration with the Library of Congress and other legal business requirements. I hired Susie Schaefer, CEO of Finish the Book Publishing, who acted as a coach and cheerleader during the writing and development stages. She then guided me through the publishing and printing process to avoid making costly mistakes. Susie had been consulting and assisting other veterans on their book projects and we connected through a mutual friend.

I also connected with a Marine veteran-turned graphic artist Daniel Zimmerman of Devil Dog Graphix and we collaborated on many of the graphic designs, the book cover and other elements of the content.

Medium is a fantastic source of articles from a huge variety of writers, poets, and comic artists from around the world. If you’re curious about starting your writing journey, check out a Medium membership as a way to begin unleashing your potential. Get started here.

Hitting the Bookshelves

I started by writing short articles with photos and posting to Medium.com, a publishing platform that started in 2012. Medium is an open platform where readers find dynamic thinking, and where expert and undiscovered voices can share their writing on any topic.

I chose to self-publish this book because I have more creative control and manage the marketing materials much easier. The book will be printed in December and hit bookstores before Christmas! Please reach out to me on LinkedIn if you have any questions or concerns. I’m happy to share more about my experiences and put you in touch with my network.

Heroes Live Here started as a passion project to showcase the memorials and markers on Camp Pendleton and has turned into a collaborative work of art that honors our fallen heroes of the post-9/11 generation. Amy was first stationed at Camp Pendleton in 1995 and still has strong ties to the base and surrounding communities. Dan Zimmerman, from Devil Dog Graphix, is a Marine veteran and designed the front and back covers.

A Must Read!!!!!

Should be on the Chief of Staff's Recommended Reading List!

Great Inside View of This Military Scandal!!

If you want to know what it feels like to have courage, take a stand and not back down...If you want to be inspired and motivated to kick adversity to the curb, then you need to read this book. MG Shadley did the right thing for the right reason because it was the right thing to do! -TopCat, Book Reviewer

Identify Your Needs In Transition

By: Jacquline Zappey

What do I want to be when I grow up? I'm thirty-one years old and still asking myself this question. In the military, you are told what to do daily. When to wake up, eat breakfast, where to work, what to do at work, how to dress and so on.

Transitioning from the service forces you to find a whole new side of yourself— where you are in control of your choices.

Taking a personality test can help identify who you are. Your strengths and weaknesses. Potential jobs that you would be good at based on your personality type.

Finding your identity after service is crucial. Check out this website to take a free personality test and get started on your new path.

This site also offers a toolkit section where you can upgrade to a premium account and access more tests like figuring out what your job preferences and job burnouts would be.

CareerOneStop is another valuable resource for career guidance. This website is a treasure trove of information with videos, salary finders, resume guides and much more. In addition to these resources, they also offer assistance in finding local help and training for your future career. CareerOneStop gives interview tips and has an entire section dedicated to the military and veterans.

Utilizing the Transition Assistance Program on the Department of Labor website is extremely beneficial.

You can find the transition courses online that they offer as you begin to separate from service. This is handy to go back and access information as needed. It covers financial planning, employment fundamentals and veteran benefits available to you.

Having these websites at your fingertips can alleviate some of the stressors of this new chapter in your life.

They can also help you identify what you want to be when you grow up much faster than trying to figure it all out by yourself. There are many more resources out there with the help of Google. Be sure to take advantage of this knowledge to save yourself both time and money.

It's complicated

My relationship with the va

By: Joanna Sweatt

B

eing a woman veteran is a complicated experience, even though we have been serving since the Revolutionary War. Women’s roles within the military have evolved in ways that create mixed feelings of political rhetoric on the equality of their service, how they are able to contribute and how they are provided post-service entitlements at the Department of Veterans Affairs.

These issues are definite factors in how women identify as veterans, access services they earned, or take part in therapeutic, career and social programs for reintegration to the civilian population.

As a woman veteran who went through this experience, it is an area that if we want to improve—it seems, it is solely up to us to improve. In order to improve it, we must also document it.

Before the Post 9/11 era, it was a rare find for me to meet another woman veteran —whether she was older than me, my peer, or even younger. I grew up under the influence of the U.S. Air Force and amongst my dad’s Vietnam friends. Through the 80s, these experiences were with mostly men who served with my dad past and present along with their wives, who were largely stay-at-home moms, tending to the children and households.

When my dad retired in the early 90s and kept his job as a civil servant (GS) employee, I noticed a shift where my father’s co-workers at his USAF legal/administrative office were almost all women airmen. By: Joanna Sweatt I noticed because it became a point of contention for my Korean mother—who was slightly jealous at the time that my father, who was still working for the USAF, was suddenly surrounded by military women. I had been exposed to women serving long before this but it was a rarity to see clusters of them all over the base as I noticed during that time—A shift was happening.

Later, when I joined the Delayed Entry Program in 1997, I even noticed that I was very much a few degrees separated from the experience of males that were being recruited for military service. I had not previously taken the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery (ASVAB) Test, as that was not a test program offered at our high school during this era of time. I had also never seen a military recruiter directly on our campus and I didn’t take part in any JROTC programs.

This was before, no child left behind became a thing and the military pipeline from high school became more fluid.

Recruiters had been enlisting women, but in extremely small numbers and for limited roles like support, logistics and administrative jobs. I had recently graduated from high school and was already a young mother to my infant daughter.

I remember my recruiter telling me that because more and more women were joining—the options for an appointment to jobs was limited—even though I had scored very high on my ASVAB and was physically qualified.

There were also limited spaces to enlist a woman which added anxiety and pressure on my interest in the Marine Corps.

I recognize now that this was all a part of a mind game that made me feel in but very much out.

In 2007, I left service with a permanent service-connected health disease. I definitely felt very left out in the cold of the civilian world—I wasn’t sure where I would fit. My introduction to the VA was a nightmare—rotten to the core and one that I managed by disconnecting myself. For a long time, I only utilized the VA for routine appointments and I always ensured that I would get in and out of there, as fast as possible.

That was a disservice to me and as a result neglected issues that are pertinent from my service because the system made me feel excluded like I didn't belong at all—an outcast.

This relationship has been toxic, because I never believed the VA ever had my best interest at the forefront.

I always felt like a number and I always felt like I had to prove that number deserved validation, attention and care as a woman veteran. After talking with hundreds of women veterans over the past 14 years, I know I am not alone feeling this way.

I am personally trying hard to remedy my toxic relationship with the VA in hopes that someday soon, the experience that all women veterans have with the VA will be exceptional and equalized.

Programs that are exclusive to women veterans and their experiences have largely been provided by civilian, nonprofits or engaged community groups. As much as I appreciate these programs who stand in the gaps—they pale in comparison to the resources, funding and services readily available for men who have served.

If you, as a woman, served in the U.S. military, under any capacity, in any region of the U.S. or on international assignment, you are a veteran.

You don’t have to do anything extra in service to gain the status of veteran other than serving. Every person who served in the U.S. military—active or reserve and has completed their service, is a veteran regardless of where you served and regardless of whether you served in a war zone.

Here are some programs that I am taking part in to start making a stronger mark as a woman veteran and improving the system for those that will continue to come after us.

Programs that are inclusive to women veterans that you can check out or get involved with at the VA that can directly impact the trajectory of military/veteran research for women.

Million Veteran Program (MVP) The Million Veteran Program is a national research program to learn how genes, lifestyle, and military exposures affect health and illness. Since launching in 2011, over 825,000 veteran partners have joined one of the world’s largest programs on genetics and health.

Veterans who partner with MVP contribute to improving the lives of fellow veterans and ultimately—everyone. Scientific discoveries from MVP are already underway, helping us reach our goal of transforming health now and for future generations. To learn more or join, visit them today!

Center for Women Veterans (CWV) The Center for Women Veterans mission is to monitor and coordinate the VA’s administration of health care, benefits, services and programs for women veterans. They serve as an advocate for cultural transformation and to raise awareness of the responsibility to treat women veterans with dignity and respect to #BringWomenVeteransHome2VA. Women Veterans Call Center: 855-829-6636 Relationships with the VA don’t have to stay complicated, as the VA works harder at validating its programs and services for women who served, women veterans can also move towards a transformed relationship by participating in VA services and programs to make a better future for all veterans in our nation.

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This past weekend I had my first moment of silence in six months and it hit me hard. When I decided to run for Dupont City Council, I had no clue that local politics would get so dirty. I thought if any town would rise above the status quo, it would be mine.

However, that wouldn’t have stopped me as the best leaders aren’t politicians at all. Most veterans can relate to the notion that initiative has no prerequisite, something I’ve heard my whole life and repeated during my campaign.

However, it was also something that was not well received with the 59% that did not vote for me.

I was in a pretty happy place before I started to campaign. I was writing for Freedom Sisters, starting a mentor program through SCORE, volunteering with Women in Bioscience, and doing charitable projects on my own and through my church.

I was at the beginning of a relationship I was really excited about, work was going great and I received a clean bill of health after a brief encounter with cancer. There was no doubt in my mind that I could add the additional task of being a candidate and fulfill the obligations if elected.

So I put in my packet, and shortly after the news became public my inbox and phone immediately started to blow up because no one could find me on social media, which meant I didn’t exist. Several messages asking me who I was, why I thought I had the audacity to run, and people wanting to share dirt on my opponent. Some supported me solely because they did not support her and offered to donate to my campaign as a result.

As I dove deeper into the marketing aspects of politics, I made the decision to not accept donations or endorsements.

This was an expensive, yet preventative measure to stop suggested narratives, and fight other peoples’ battles. I wasn’t going to let anyone cancel me.

What I Won From Losing By: Susanna Keilman

A few weeks into the campaign, my friend Jen was diagnosed with Guillen Barre Syndrome and her two little girls were left without their mom while Jen remained in the ICU, read the story here.

A month after that I was struggling in my relationship and work was getting crazy. My ex-husband was called by someone trying to get dirt on our divorce, and someone had posted my mortgage refinance paperwork online along with the narrative that I was financially irresponsible.

I later learned my biological dad had passed away and struggled with not feeling any emotion about it.

I knew I needed to temporarily lighten my load, but I couldn’t decide on what or how. My lowest low was when I went to visit my boyfriend, drank way too much and overshared the next morning while dealing with a hangover.

This ultimately led to our relationship ending and subconsciously was an act of self-sabotage that also relieved some pressure.

It was easier for me to let go of something that I was personally benefiting from then letting others down. However, heartbreak turned into writer’s block and I took a hiatus from Freedom Sisters.

I was so focused on what I needed to do for others to know me, see me and benefit from my contributions that I lost sight of the core of me. The person that hated social media.

I was so focused on the 59% that tried to tear me down, when I should have been focusing on the 41% including my ex-husband and complete strangers that believed in me.

I did everything I could to manage everything simultaneously with a lot of success. Though I came to the conclusion that there is no success without compromise, but that your self love should never be sacrificed.

So in my silence this past weekend I took the time to reflect with gratitude on the past six months of my life. I went to my favorite restaurant in Enumclaw, Washington to enjoy a meal by myself and think about the relationships that were on the back burner—my 41%.

During the one hour drive on back country roads, I started to think about Kerri supporting my hiatus and coming to wave my campaign sign on a cold Sunday morning.

I thought about Elis sending me encouraging texts and her ability to put things into perspective. I thought about Kelly giving more than she received.

I thought about the shepherds God put in my life throughout this journey to help me fight fire with water and deprive a fire of oxygen.

Sometimes there are lessons learned and sometimes there are opportunities for redemption.

I am reminded that if you focus on quality, quantity will follow.

The chances we take to lose— lead us to our wins.

Upper left: My friend, Jen's two little girls. Upper right: Campaign Host gathering. Middle Left: Kerri Jeter and I on a cold Sunday morning just prior to elections. Middle Right: Sweet messages of encouragement from Elis. Bottom: My parents and I, they're always supporting me no matter what. //Courtesy Photos

MilSO Box What's in the box ?

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All products are sourced from Veteran-owned, military spouse owned, and/or American companies.

4 to 6 items per box (some boxes have more).

Items may include: home decor, bath and beauty products, useful gadgets, books, accessories and self-care products.

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A few years back while laying on the beach in Mexico, my now fiancé gave me a book to read that he knew would resonate with me.

The book Outrageous Openness, Letting the Divine Take the Lead by Tosha Silver was so good, I stayed up into the late hours of the night to finish it.

Truth be told, I've read it again a few times.

The author talks a great deal about abundance and the universe conspiring to give you what you need and that so resonated with me.

Since reading the book I became a bit obsessed with the idea of an abundant mindset.

This has literally changed my life.

I grew up in a divorced, Puerto Rican, Catholic single parent household but despite all our challenges my mother always believed in the power of positive thinking.

She had been introduced to the book The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale, which became a mantra for our life.

This mindset has been ingrained into my heart and head since I was a kid but somewhere along the way, I needed the reminder of this powerful mindset.

Since that trip to Mexico, I have experienced numerous life setbacks to include health issues with my adult son, a lay off and termination from jobs, a major car accident and other huge financially draining issues with my home.

Despite all these life challenges, I have remained positive and continuously grateful for the abundance in my life.

I have tested this mindset repeatedly with positive affirmations and positive self-talk and time after time, have been given what I needed most.

In the last two years I started a business in the middle of the pandemic that has challenged every part of my being, but is now starting to really thrive. I needed to find a part-time job to keep my nurse practitioner license active and one day I came across an ad for a medical spa. It is 15 minutes from my house, which is ideal and I was almost immediately hired.

I continued to speak affirmations over my son who has been unemployed for the last four years due to his Epilepsy, that he would find work—today he is thriving in his new job!

Most recently while attending an Eagles concert in downtown Seattle, looking for the impossible parking spot that was within walking distance to the venue, I stopped and said “Ok, universe help us find a parking spot that cost no more than $25.00 within walking distance” …I kid you not within less than five minutes that’s exactly what we found.

I am not saying it always works like that but when it does, it’s a magical thing!

My message here is that staying in that abundance, gratitude and positive thinking mindset really does work.

The positive energy you put out in the world will come back to you tenfold!

During this holiday season where some focus on material things, give yourself the gift of changing your mindset to abundance and gratitude and see your world completely change!

By: Elis Salamone

FreedomSisters Magazine

Highlight Read WE love it when our WriteHERs succeed! Amy Forsythe has been instrumental in producing amazing articles for Freedom Sisters all year long, has now published her first book!

Heroes Live Here: A Tribute to Camp Pendleton Marines since 9/11 started as a passion project to showcase the memorials and markers on Camp Pendleton and has turned into a collaborative work of art that honors our fallen heroes of the post-9/11 generation. Amy was first stationed at Camp Pendleton in 1995 and still has strong ties to the base and surrounding communities.

Dan Zimmerman, from Devil Dog Graphix, is a Marine veteran and designed the front and back covers.

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Shop THE MOMENT I SAW THE SLOGAN, I KNEW I HAD TO SHOWCASE THIS COMPANY IN DECEMBER'S HIGHLIGHT HER! ALWAYS ON DUTY-MOMMIES SERVE TOO!

The Collective Voice, is a podcast designed to share stories from two very unique groups of people: parents of children with special needs and women veterans. Here you will have a chance to listen in on some of the good, the bad, the disturbing, and the inspirational things that encompass their lives.

WOMEN WHO ARE STRONG, BEYOND CAPABLE AND PROUD OF WHAT THEY DO. BOOTS, BADGE AND BABY BOTTLES™ WOULD LIKE TO CELEBRATE YOU AND ALL YOU DO THROUGH STATEMENT APPAREL YOUR LITTLE ONES. BECAUSE “MOMMIES SERVE TOO!”

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J O A NNA S W E A T T

SUSA N N A KEILMAN

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