December 2021 • VOL . 1 • ISSUE 12
FreedomSisters •AMPLIFY WOMEN VETERANS•
Finding Joy and Purpose through Healing Inner Peace for the Mentally Tough Unwrap Our Gift Guide Inside
What I Won From Losing The Abundance Mindset
Turning Your Passions into Passages
•MAGAZINE•
•AMPLIFY WOMEN VETERANS• December 2021 | Vol. 1 | Issue 12 Publisher Freedom Sisters Media, LLC
EditHER-in-Chief Copy EditHER
Contributing WriteHERs HER Life
MentHERship HERstory FoundHER
HER Next Mission Woman Warrior
Cover Photographer
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Kerri Jeter Allaina Rapps
Aaliyah Al-Mahdi Jennifer Rodriguez | Kerri Jeter Elis Salamone Allaina Rapps Amy Forsythe | Jacqueline Zappey | Joanna Sweatt Susanna Keilman | Elis Salamone
Jeremmy Salazar
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Copyright | 2020-2021 | Freedom Sisters Media LLC Freedom Sisters Media respects the rights of all writeHERs, Photographers, Artists, and copyright holders. Consequently, all works that appear on this platform do so with the consent of the writeHER/s or the copyright holder. No image or information display on this site may be reproduced, transmitted, or copied without the express written permission of Freedom Sisters Media. Contravention is an infringement of the Copyright Act and its amendments and may be subject to legal action. FreedomSisters, VetHERan, MentHERship, EditHER, SuperSHEro, highlightHER, WriteHER, FoundHER, LeadHER are trademarks of Kerri Jeter.
From the EditHER-in-Chief This is a very special time of year for me, personally. I am filled with a renewed hope that is deeply rooted in my faith. I marvel at the fact that a single birth all those years ago, still gets celebrated and honored today. If you are like me you may be celebrating Advent. The word 'advent' literally means 'coming' and it is a time of reflection on the coming of Christ into the world at his birth... It is also a time of hoping for what is to come. I know these past couple of years have felt heavy, long and at times hopeless—but as we keep pressing into the mission here at Freedom Sisters, we are reminded each month of the power of healing, mindset and personal courage. Our Featured Sister this month is Vanity Dawson, who has turned her pain into joy and purpose—now leading a life to help others do the same, read all about her on page 25. She is a true Joyful G.I. Jane! We have our first ever Gift Guide loaded with incredible sisters-in-arms businesses to find that perfect gift for any woman on your list! Whoever made your gift list this year will surely love the surprises we have ready for you to unwrap on page 19. Although there is much joy to be found this time of year, many also face struggles and hardships that can overshadow the delight. So we have a few articles to help you discover new ways to unlock Inner Peace now and into the new year on page 11; or how to discover the wins in losing on page 45 and navigate through the difficult season of divorce on page 49. It is my sincere hope that the words you read in the pages of the Freedom Sisters Magazine bring you great joy, community and empowerment to go out and live your best life. We are looking forward to 2022 and new ways to enjoy the magazine, please check out our new website and subscribe today! Today we celebrate a year of publishing and are ready to keep the mission moving forward for years to come!
Kerri Jeter
Contents
25
19
In every Issue Note from the EditHER HighlightHER WriteHER Connection
HER Life
Embrace the Wonder of Winter With an Outdoor Adventure
MentHERship
HERstory
What Happened to my Hair
The Dignified Divorce
Inner Peace for the Mentally Tough
Freedom Sisters Holiday Gift Guide
Don’t let the cold weather put a damper on your outdoor adventures or your mood. There’s no shortage of resorts and parks to visit this winter to explore the best snowy landscapes North America has to offer.
PAGE 5
PAGE 9
PAGE 15
11 45
49 FoundHER
HER Next Mission
Finding Joy and Purpose through Healing
Turning Your Passions into Passages
Air Force veteran, Vanity Dawson, is a real life ‘Joyful G.I. Jane. Read her incredible story and her work to help others find Joy and Purpose in their healing journey with her business, Take My Hand.
Identify Your Needs in Transition
Woman Warrior What I Won from Losing The Abundance Mindset
PAGE 25
It's Complicated—My Relationship with the VA.
PAGE 35
PAGE 46
Embrace the Wonder of Winter with an Outdoor Adventure By: Aaliyah Al-Mahdi
W
inter is here and with the season we’re experiencing shorter days and colder weather.
For most of us, we tend to spend winter huddled inside and sometimes putting fun or adventures on hold. But, the colder months are actually a prime time for planning a trip that will bring you joy. Don’t let the nip in the air and the snowfall discourage you from making plans for a getaway. Remember the magic you experienced as a child of playing in the snow and the exhilaration of being outdoors in the chilly climate? Design a vacation around that bit of nostalgia, but with a grownup twist. Plan for activities like cocktails in front of a fire, delicious food and of course some outdoor fun.
Where to go for Winter Activities If you’re a winter sports novice, an expert level skier or a snowboarder, there’s plenty of opportunities for winter adventures at various well-known winter destinations throughout the U.S. and Canada. Breckenridge is a Colorado resort with five different peaks that range in difficulty from steep runs and trails that are above the treeline to less advanced trails. If you’re a nature lover or just crave a slower pace, look into guided naturalist tours that take place on skis, with a ranger guiding you through the snow-covered forest. If you’re on the East Coast, head to Stowe, Vermont to a resort that features trails perfect for skiers and snowboarders of all levels. There are also 18 miles of more rugged terrain if you’re into backcountry skiing. You can also take a scenic gondola ride to the top of Mt. Mansfield, which is Vermont's highest mountain. If you’re looking for some adventure off of the slopes, take a short trip into Burlington, which is about 40 minutes away. While you’re there, explore the restaurant scene and sample craft beer at local breweries. Sun Valley Resort in Idaho is a ski resort made up of two different mountains, Bald Mountain and Dollar Mountain. As the name suggests, the ski town gets lots of sunshine, 120 days out of the 150day ski season, on average. Hit the slopes, with the more challenging trails on Bald Mountain, or visit Dollar Mountain for the more gentler ones. Take time off the slopes and enjoy a horse-drawn sleigh ride, relax at the spa or explore the many places to dine.
Leavenworth, Washington is located in the eastern portion of the state and receives substantial snowfall. This tiny town has a Bavarian theme and boasts many German restaurants, a brewery and lots of boutiques and shops. Winter activities in Leavenworth include dog sledding, sleigh rides, snowshoeing, snowboarding and more. Head to Canada to the town of Whistler, just north of Vancouver, British Columbia. Whistler is home to Whistler Blackcomb, one of the largest ski resorts in North America. Whistler offers skiing and snowboarding, but also snowshoeing and tobogganing. The area boasts plenty of off-slope activities like shopping and Whistler’s culinary scene is a must for any foodie. Banff National Park in Alberta, Canada is the nation’s oldest national park. The park is located in Alberta's Rocky Mountains and is home to mountainous terrain, glaciers, ice fields and alpine landscapes. Banff offers quintessential winter activities like dog sledding, snowmobiling, sleigh rides and snow tubing. For the ultra adventurous, there’s also helicopter and cave tours, ice fishing and ice climbing, which is like rock climbing but braving the winter elements. Don’t miss out on a winter adventure. Start planning your escape to any of the places mentioned in this article or look into other resorts and parks throughout the country. Then book your adventure, pack your bags and get ready for a joyous escape into winter bliss.
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Free do
ide Gu ft
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H o l s i r d e a t yG s i S i
Happy Holidays to you! We know there are many options to choose from when it comes to holiday shopping—so we wanted to present a list that directly supports our sisters (and a few brothers) this season! We have gifts for everyone and of course we are starting our list off with our very own Christmas Bundle, get a shirt, print subscription, premium emagazine and stickers for $75! Order by December 10, 2021 to unwrap on Christmas morning. Subscription will be mailed in January!
For MotHERs
Cater to Mom Gift boxes for new moms
Sweet Support Candle for Military Moms
Military Photo Bracelet Jewelery with meaning
For Babies
Busy Baby Mat Never pick up another toy again
Bibia Interactive Augmented Reality Toys
Happy Birthday Bird Make birthday memories last
For Little Kids
Sgt Sleeptight Defender of sweet dreams
D is for Dino Kit Dinosaur PlayDoh Kit
Bloom Crayons Beautiful Colors for little artists
For Foodies
Mutt's Sauce Combo Pack is a must try
Cleverly No-Grain-ola Variety Pack
Toasted Pecan Vinegerette Perfect for the holidays
For the Love of Gourmet Cookbook available
Grove Cookie Company Cookies are perfect for giving
Organic Cotton Candy Visions of Sugar
For AventureHERs
Luminary Bags Prepare for anything
OutPatch Give where you go
Unique PL8S unique way to display license plates
For unboxHERs
MilSO Box Joy Delievered
Brave Crate For Spouses of the deployed
Troopster For the deployed
For ReadHERs
Grace and Mercy Devo Journal Kathleen Yancosek
Summoned Megan Brown
Shatter the Sky Col. Merryl Tengesdal (Ret.)
The Grit Factor Shannon Huffman Polson
C.A.L.M.E.D Growth After Trauma Jennifer Hobbs
They Fought For Each Other Kelly Kennedy
For Fashionistas
Sword and Plough Handbags with Impact
Bang Bang Ballistic Jewlery Handmade Treasures
Queen Of Spades Style Hair wraps and more
For InduldgeHERs
Bon AppeSweet Good for you Chocolate
Joshica Beauty Natural Beauty Products
Southern Elegance Co. Indulgent Candles
For CelebrateHERs
Heroes Vodka For the Vodka Enthusiast
Merica Bourbon For the Whiskey Drinker
Bottle Breecher Grinch Freedom Frag
By: Allaina Rapps Photo By: Jeremmy Salazar
‘Tis the season to spread joy and cheer, right? But how can you feel joy if you can't see beyond your own traumas? You may feel isolated and the holiday season can exasperate that sense of loneliness.
Dawson was a single mother to her son JJ, attending college, but was unsuccessful in her studies. After aging out of foster care several years prior and attempting to leave the trauma behind her, she wanted something different.
You might find it difficult to be merry this time of year, and ya know what? It’s ok! When we face significant circumstances at one time or another, it can seem impossible to let the light in and feel joy. But there is hope!
Dawson served in Airfield Management for eight years in the Air National Guard, based out of Joint Base Andrews, Maryland. Originally from Manhattan, this bright and courageous woman chose to serve in the military as a way out.
I want to share with you a real life ‘Joyful G.I. Jane,’ who found joy through her trauma. Air Force veteran, Vanity Dawson, is often described as ‘effervescent’ because of her bubbly, goofy and joyful personality.
By the time Dawson was a young adult, she had many physical and emotionally abusive experiences to include being molested by a family member and other sexual assaults.
Where Trauma Turns to Triumph. Dawson is now a Victim Advocate, Author, Trauma Coach, Speaker and devout believer in Christ. She has also earned her DoD Sexual Assault Advocate Certification Program (DSAACP) Level II, Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP) Level I designations, has a bachelors degree in Psychology and a Master’s in clinical mental health counseling. Dawson also is the foundHER of Take My Hand, LLC and a nonprofit, Delicate Flowers. Follow our conversation below to see how she turned her traumas into triumph. FSM: Tell me about yourself. Dawson: I would describe myself as resilient, with a lot of drive and passion. I like to have fun and laugh. I love people. I care to see that people are happy and have joy. My purpose is to restore hope and help people heal. That brings me joy. FSM: What is your degree in and how did you come to start your business? Dawson: I just finished my Masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling because education is super important and that was another way out for me. Focusing on my education, it was kind of an outlet. I started Take My Hand (TMH) in 2018 because I got tired. I got tired of hurting and I got tired of seeing other people hurt.
My purpose is to restore hope and help people heal. That brings me joy.
FSM: What is the meaning behind TMH? Dawson: It’s called TMH because I make it my business to pull people out of their ditch. Pull people out of their past. I was able to do that through God. He pulled me out. So now I am able to pull other people out. Life is better when you have help, when you have support. I want to be that support for other people when it comes to their mental health. It was such a weird story, how I even got to that field. Never in a million years did I think I would be a therapist. FSM: I was going to ask about that. Can you talk about why you felt compelled to go into the mental health field? Dawson: After graduating high school, I went to college for business. But I kept failing my classes, then I took a break, and after that I joined the Air Force. That is where I found my purpose. Because I was this lost girl in different cycles of abuse.
In the Air Force I became a victim advocate for sexual assault, helping service members who had experienced sexual trauma. From there I started teaching sexual assault prevention. Never in a million years did I think I was going to do that, either.
So I came back to God, and asked, ‘God, are you sure you want me to do this?’ He said, 'change it again.’ This time I talked to an advisor at school and psychology is what I went into. As soon as I got into psychology, my education took off. I was making straight A's. It was so natural.
How does that all tie together with my education and going into this field? I was a business major but I kept failing.
That helped me become a better Victim Advocate. I wanted to become an actual Victim Advocate, not just a volunteer.
Then one day, I was praying and I heard God say, 'change your major.’
Before I was a Victim Advocate in the Air Force, I’d get triggered and try to leave the room during mandatory Sexual Assault Prevention and Response (SAPR) training because of my past experiences.
Now, I'm not saying when I joined So I changed it. I changed it to the Air Force everything was sociology and I sat in Sociology peaches and cream because it 101 and I barely passed it. wasn't, but I found my purpose.
FSM: At that time you hadn't dealt with your trauma? Dawson: No, I hadn’t dealt with it and I would leave the room or I would sit there and feel like I was dying inside. But I'm glad all of that happened because I needed to work through that. I needed to heal through that. Then I started wondering how many other people have experienced sexual trauma and they’re suffering or they’re holding this secret in. My psychology program helped me with the victim advocacy program. And when I was in that victim advocacy program, I loved it. I didn't run away from healing anymore. That's why I started my business. I wanted to help people who’ve experienced sexual abuse. I have to help people because I was being strengthened and I was becoming that voice. I knew that God was using me because I went from that girl who was silent and wouldn’t say anything—to one who started advocating for other victims' needs. I wanted to see them happy and I wanted to see them whole and healed, because they deserve that.
FSM: Is that how you found your purpose? Dawson: I knew this was my purpose. When I graduated with my psychology degree, I asked God what was next. Which is what led me to my masters degree. Not only will I teach awareness, I want people to know the signs of abuse. There's so many different layers to trauma. People need information. It was important for me to get my education so I could make people aware. Because when they're hurting, they feel like there's no life for them. They feel like they can't move forward. I was there, but there's a way out. They don't have to live like that. I feel like it definitely goes hand in hand with education and the business and the victim advocacy—everything just fell together. With TMH I do guest speaking, coaching and training. That's what we do here. I have a mission to help families, help people. Because trauma is destroying families. That first mission is for them to get what they need internally. So they can do things that they want to do on the outside. Back then, I was that quiet girl, but I learned to speak up. I’d say, ‘if the people are not well, if the troops are not well, then they cannot complete the mission. You want the mission done, but the people have to be well. Then you'll get the mission done effectively.’ They'll be able to focus. I was advocating for that.
FSM: Oh, there’s that passion, I love it! Does TMH have a mission statement? Dawson: Our mission at TMH is to be a hand of support for sexual assault survivors and a champion for prevention. We help survivors become champions. We help them get to a place where they can talk about it. So they might be able to help the next person. I always think about Harriet Tubman, how she went back to help other slaves go north. Since I'm here now, let me go, I have to go back and get some people so they can get out too. FSM: Can you elaborate on services that TMH provides? Dawson: We provide training and guest speaking on different mental health topics like sexual assault prevention, suicide prevention, child abuse prevention, stress and anger management and work-life balance. We also provide one-on-one trauma coaching. I have my CCTP-I, which is a certification to work with people who have experienced trauma. Most of the people I've worked with have experienced sexual abuse and domestic violence. I don't turn people away for domestic violence because they go hand in hand. FSM: Do you have to be local to receive TMH services? Dawson: I'm in Maryland, but I provide services virtually to anyone, anywhere, anytime.
FSM: Can anyone hire you to come conduct training?
FSM: What is one thing you would tell survivors of trauma?
Dawson: Yes. Currently, most of my business is from small businesses. But I am working on getting contracts with DoD. FSM: As it relates to your trauma coaching, what does the healing process look like?
Dawson: God still loves you. God has always loved you. You are loved. Trauma feels like it is meant to kill, steal and destroy your soul, your heart, your mind, your life. But you're stronger than that. You can be restored. You are loved and healing is your portion.
Dawson: It depends on what you’re seeking and what your goals are.
That's what I would say. Because it's the truth. It can be your truth.
FSM: So it’s different for every person?
FSM: I love it.
Dawson: Oh, yes. I will say this-- you're going to be uplifted. Your hope is going to be restored. If you feel stuck, we're going to get you unstuck.
Dawson: You have victory! You have victory! You have victory!
You're going to be inspired. You are going to take a step forward in healing, it is not an overnight process. People have to be willing to put in the work. I can't do the work for clients. But I'm here to help them towards healing—to move forward in life. You're going to gain different tools on how to move forward from your traumatic experiences. Included with all of this in my book, Life After Trauma that I give, as well as additional online resources. FSM: Where can we go to learn more about TMH or the other services you provide? Dawson: You can find all the programs I offer on my website at www.vanitydawson.com. Or send an email to info@vanitydawson.com to speak with me directly. You can also check us out on Instagram or Facebook.
FSM: That is awesome. Is there anything you would like to add? Dawson: Take care of and love the people around you. Love is greater than hate.
Trauma feels like it is meant to kill, steal and destroy your soul, your heart, your mind, your life. But you're stronger than that. You can be restored. You Deserve Joy. You are not alone and that through your experiences there is hope, there is healing and there is purpose. I want to encourage you not to rob yourself of the joy you deserve. No matter what your circumstances or situation may be. Dawson is a great example and encouragement to others. We have the power within us to transform the hurt into healing and the healing into helping others live a full and joyful life. Just like Dawson, you can take someone else’s hand and lift them up out of their darkness. Because you are more than your circumstances. If you or someone you know could benefit from Take My Hand, please reach out here, to discover joy and purpose through healing.
This past weekend I had my first moment of silence in six months and it hit me hard. When I decided to run for Dupont City Council, I had no clue that local politics would get so dirty. I thought if any town would rise above the status quo, it would be mine. However, that wouldn’t have stopped me as the best leaders aren’t politicians at all. Most veterans can relate to the notion that initiative has no prerequisite, something I’ve heard my whole life and repeated during my campaign. However, it was also something that was not well received with the 59% that did not vote for me.
I was in a pretty happy place before I started to campaign. I was writing for Freedom Sisters, starting a mentor program through SCORE, volunteering with Women in Bioscience, and doing charitable projects on my own and through my church. I was at the beginning of a relationship I was really excited about, work was going great and I received a clean bill of health after a brief encounter with cancer. There was no doubt in my mind that I could add the additional task of being a candidate and fulfill the obligations if elected. So I put in my packet, and shortly after the news became public my inbox and phone immediately started to blow up because no one could find me on social media, which meant I didn’t exist. Several messages asking me who I was, why I thought I had the audacity to run, and people wanting to share dirt on my opponent. Some supported me solely because they did not support her and offered to donate to my campaign as a result. As I dove deeper into the marketing aspects of politics, I made the decision to not accept donations or endorsements. This was an expensive, yet preventative measure to stop suggested narratives, and fight other peoples’ battles. I wasn’t going to let anyone cancel me.
What I Won From Losing By: Susanna Keilman
A few weeks into the campaign, my friend Jen was diagnosed with Guillen Barre Syndrome and her two little girls were left without their mom while Jen remained in the ICU, read the story here. A month after that I was struggling in my relationship and work was getting crazy. My ex-husband was called by someone trying to get dirt on our divorce, and someone had posted my mortgage refinance paperwork online along with the narrative that I was financially irresponsible.
I later learned my biological dad had passed away and struggled with not feeling any emotion about it. I knew I needed to temporarily lighten my load, but I couldn’t decide on what or how. My lowest low was when I went to visit my boyfriend, drank way too much and overshared the next morning while dealing with a hangover. This ultimately led to our relationship ending and subconsciously was an act of self-sabotage that also relieved some pressure. It was easier for me to let go of something that I was personally benefiting from then letting others down. However, heartbreak turned into writer’s block and I took a hiatus from Freedom Sisters. I was so focused on what I needed to do for others to know me, see me and benefit from my contributions that I lost sight of the core of me. The person that hated social media. I was so focused on the 59% that tried to tear me down, when I should have been focusing on the 41% including my ex-husband and complete strangers that believed in me. I did everything I could to manage everything simultaneously with a lot of success. Though I came to the conclusion that there is no success without compromise, but that your self love should never be sacrificed.
So in my silence this past weekend I took the time to reflect with gratitude on the past six months of my life. I went to my favorite restaurant in Enumclaw, Washington to enjoy a meal by myself and think about the relationships that were on the back burner—my 41%. During the one hour drive on back country roads, I started to think about Kerri supporting my hiatus and coming to wave my campaign sign on a cold Sunday morning. I thought about Elis sending me encouraging texts and her ability to put things into perspective. I thought about Kelly giving more than she received. I thought about the shepherds God put in my life throughout this journey to help me fight fire with water and deprive a fire of oxygen. Sometimes there are lessons learned and sometimes there are opportunities for redemption. I am reminded that if you focus on quality, quantity will follow. The chances we take to lose— lead us to our wins.
Upper left: My friend, Jen's two little girls. Upper right: Campaign Host gathering. Middle Left: Kerri Jeter and I on a cold Sunday morning just prior to elections. Middle Right: Sweet messages of encouragement from Elis. Bottom: My parents and I, they're always supporting me no matter what. //Courtesy Photos
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A few years back while laying on the beach in Mexico, my now fiancé gave me a book to read that he knew would resonate with me. The book Outrageous Openness, Letting the Divine Take the Lead by Tosha Silver was so good, I stayed up into the late hours of the night to finish it. Truth be told, I've read it again a few times. The author talks a great deal about abundance and the universe conspiring to give you what you need and that so resonated with me. Since reading the book I became a bit obsessed with the idea of an abundant mindset. This has literally changed my life. I grew up in a divorced, Puerto Rican, Catholic single parent household but despite all our challenges my mother always believed in the power of positive thinking. She had been introduced to the book The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale, which became a mantra for our life.
This mindset has been ingrained into my heart and head since I was a kid but somewhere along the way, I needed the reminder of this powerful mindset. Since that trip to Mexico, I have experienced numerous life setbacks to include health issues with my adult son, a lay off and termination from jobs, a major car accident and other huge financially draining issues with my home.
Despite all these life challenges, I have remained positive and continuously grateful for the abundance in my life. I have tested this mindset repeatedly with positive affirmations and positive self-talk and time after time, have been given what I needed most. In the last two years I started a business in the middle of the pandemic that has challenged every part of my being, but is now starting to really thrive. I needed to find a part-time job to keep my nurse practitioner license active and one day I came across an ad for a medical spa. It is 15 minutes from my house, which is ideal and I was almost immediately hired. I continued to speak affirmations over my son who has been unemployed for the last four years due to his Epilepsy, that he would find work—today he is thriving in his new job!
Most recently while attending an Eagles concert in downtown Seattle, looking for the impossible parking spot that was within walking distance to the venue, I stopped and said “Ok, universe help us find a parking spot that cost no more than $25.00 within walking distance” …I kid you not within less than five minutes that’s exactly what we found. I am not saying it always works like that but when it does, it’s a magical thing! My message here is that staying in that abundance, gratitude and positive thinking mindset really does work. The positive energy you put out in the world will come back to you tenfold! During this holiday season where some focus on material things, give yourself the gift of changing your mindset to abundance and gratitude and see your world completely change!
By: Elis Salamone