Lesson Nine: The Fruit of Gentleness

SUMMARY: In this lesson we will be looking at the concept of gentleness, and what it looks like in the Spirit-filled life. We will find that it is not the negative trait of shyness or weakness, but a trait that reflects sensitivity and concern for others. We will also discover that it is critically important for Christian leaders.

DISCUSS

How can teaching children to be kind to animals become a training ground for learning gentleness in their relationships with other people?

LEAD-IN QUESTIONS:

1. How does our current culture view the words “gentle” or “gentleness?” If someone is called gentle, is it a compliment or a negative assessment? What about the older term “meek” or “meekness”? 2. How can God be both gentle and an omnipotent, righteous judge at the same time? 3. In what kinds of situations would you most want someone to call you “gentle”? 4. How can gentleness enhance the ministry of the church, both within the structure of the congregation and in our witness to the outside culture?

The Gentle Saint

When I think of the word “gentle,” I immediately think of the great St. Francis of Assisi (1181-1226). His nurturing heart and concern for others is part of his legacy to the world. His gentleness and genuine love for others is memorialized by the many hospitals named after him. He is noted for having founded the Order of the Franciscans and the Order of the St. Clares (the so-called Poor Clares, named for his dearest friend). Though starting out as the son of a middle-class merchant, Francis abandoned the secular world to spend his life as a mendicant (a beggar) who served the needs of others. The men who joined his order were not ordained as priests but rather were called friars (meaning “brothers”) who chose to leave the ordinary affairs of the world to serve God and their fellow brothers and sisters. St. Francis was gentle with others but hard on himself, seeking to kill off all sense of pride and self-love through strict religious practices. Later in life he was said to have received the stigmata, considered a mark of great spirituality in the Middle Ages, in which a person literally bleeds from the locations of the wounds of Christ. Francis was also famous for his gentleness toward animals. On one occasion24, he and his two companions entered the village of Cannara, and before beginning to preach, St. Francis ordered the large number of swallows gathered there to stop making noise. They obeyed him and remained totally silent while he spoke. The power of his message was so great that virtually the whole village was ready to abandon the city and follow St. Francis. As he traveled down the road towards another town, he noticed that an enormous number of birds were perched in the grove of trees on the side of the road. So, he headed over to the trees, telling his companions that he was going to “preach to our sisters, the birds.” As soon as he began to preach all the birds alighted on the ground and remained motionless while he walked among them. They did not move or fly away until after he finished with a blessing offered for them. These are just some of many stories that are told concerning the gentle nature of St. Francis, and the way that he touched both humans and animals.

Gentle Bear, Gentleman

In 1967, a television series began that lasted two years before going off the air. Entitled Gentle Ben, it was set in a Florida game preserve. The story was about the friendship and adventures of a young boy named Mark, and a 750 lb. black bear named Ben that Mark had helped rescue from poachers as a cub. The show brought out the contrast between a huge black bear and the word, “gentle.” If you have ever looked at the teeth and claws of a large bear, the word gentle, would not likely come to mind. Even looking at the pictures of the young actor, Clint Howard, laying on top of this massive bear (whose real name, by the way, was Bruno) feels uncomfortable. Yet the creature had been so trained that it consistently kept its power under control and demonstrated gentleness throughout the series. It is this contrast between strength and gentleness that we will be talking about throughout our current lesson. In our day, words like “gentleness” and “meekness” are often not used as a compliment. Unfortunately, the word has become associated with people who are overly sensitive, introspective, and easily hurt by others. We say we must be careful with a “gentle soul” so that we don’t accidentally damage them in some way. To describe someone as gentle is kind of to admit that the person is lacking in strength and fortitude. We think of a gentle person as a nurturer rather than a leader, and someone who cares more about treating people kindly than pushing or challenging them. It is interesting to note that if we add one word as a modifier to it, it takes on a whole new meaning. How often have parents told their son, as he was heading to the prom or out on a date, that he should be a “gentleman” that evening. The term seems to have an unwritten code attached to it: the young man is expected to show good manners (such as opening the door for his date), make sure that she is treated with respect, and then have her back home at the agreed upon

hour – all this is related to the fact that a “gentleman” has integrity and honor. At one point in time, to classify a person as a gentleman would mean that this was a person of distinction and higher status in society. Etymology online25 says that a gentleman is, “in a general sense, every educated person above a laborer, an artisan, or a tradesman. An individual possessed of the conduct, character, habits, and outward appearance, which belong, or are expected to belong, to person born and educated in a high social position; a man in any station of life who is possessed of good breeding and refined manners, strict integrity and honor; kindness of heart, and such like qualities.” Dictionary.com26 defines a gentleman as “a civilized, educated, sensitive, or well-mannered man.” So, the “gentle-man” held a place of elite status in society, and the characteristics of this person were related to class, good breeding, integrity, and kindness towards others. Somehow, in our language we have gone from the idea that being a gentleman as a status to be sought after to the idea that it is a mild and weak person, someone that we need to treat with sensitivity and care lest we hurt their feelings. In contrast, the Bible brings together the two concepts without one canceling out the other. Scripture, for example, associates the gentle person with someone who is meek and sensitive, and kind and tender; yet, at the same time, it also clearly depicts the gentle person as someone who has strength of character, protects the needy, and is worthy of honor because of their great integrity. King David modeled this combination of character traits. He was a sensitive young man who wrote a great deal of poetry and music (the Psalms) and played musical instruments in a way that could calm the spirits of others. At the same time, he was an amazing warrior who killed a giant, overwhelmed whole armies of his enemies, and who ruled a large Empire during his reign as king of Israel. Most would agree that Jesus embodies gentleness, and yet those who encountered him in the Gospels invariably were struck by his tremendous authority and power. How do we explain this seeming disparity between definitions of gentleness? As we have seen repeatedly, the best way to understand any of the Fruit of the Spirit is to see how it is demonstrated by God. Our role as Christians is to model our lives after our Lord, so we would do well to see how this trait functions in Him before tackling the trait in ourselves.

The Gentleness of God

Many times, we do not think of God as being gentle. We have no issue with calling God a Creator of all things, a Judge of all people, a Transcendent Being above all things, or using any of the Omni’s (Omniscient, Omnipresent, Omnipotent) to describe his nature. We may even find it easier to call God merciful and kind than to call him gentle. This is because, as we noted earlier, gentle has a modern-day connotation of being meek, unassuming, and sweet, whereas we know God to be powerful, righteous in judgment, and uncompromising with evil. However, we cannot ignore the fact that God is, in fact, described as gentle in Scripture. He gave a childless couple their very own son long after their child-birthing days were over (Abraham and Sarah). He saved the family of Lot from sure destruction as judgment came upon Sodom and Gomorrah. He protected Joseph after he was sold into slavery, causing him to gain favor in every situation he found himself in, even a prison in Egypt. This is the God who freed the people of Israel from slavery in Egypt with his mighty acts of power. This is the God who tolerated the complaining and bellyaching of the people of Israel in the desert, and then supplied them with manna from heaven and quail to eat so that they never went hungry in the Wilderness. He gave them water from rocks, and helped them to defeat armies that came against them, even though they had been slaves (not warriors) for 400 years. But this is also the God who brought the plagues down on Egypt and finished by taking the life of every firstborn child as he broke the chain of bondage in Egypt. This is the God who overpowered the nations living in the region of Palestine, so that his people could have a place to live and teach others about the true God of the Universe (a task, by the way, that the people of Israel failed to accomplish). And this is the God who sent his people into Exile when they continuously followed after the pagan gods of the nations all around them, and lived materialistic lives that mistreated and cheated the poor and defenseless. We often see the Shepherd metaphor used to describe the nature of the Lord and His actions. The most famous example of this metaphor is in the 23rd Psalm, written by King David. In the Gospels, Jesus spoke of himself as the Good Shepherd who makes sure that the sheep are protected and secure, and willingly gives his life for his sheep. (John 10:11-18) Isaiah describes the all-powerful God of Israel as a shepherd who tenderly gathers his lambs (metaphorical reference to the people of Israel) into his arms and gently leads them. (Isaiah 40:11) Perhaps a closer look at the overall flow of this text will make this choice of words even more insightful to us. At the beginning of Isaiah 40, God tells the people of Israel that their punishment for idolatry and evil ways (the Exile) is now finished, and they should feel comforted. The unchanging nature of the Lord is contrasted with human beings, who are said to be like grass and flowers that grow quickly, but just as quickly fade and die. By comparison, Isaiah says, God’s Word lasts forever (6-8). Isaiah then turns to describe the power of God—how He measured out all the waters of the earth in the palm of his hand; He enclosed the mountains and measured

DISCUSS

How would you explain God’s gentleness? Can God be gentle while at the same time sending people to Hell? Considering the way that God is portrayed in both the Old and New Testaments, how can we defend his character as being gentle? Explain your answer.

22 | SUSTAIN the hills throughout the earth. Isaiah then speaks of God’s incomparable wisdom: God created all things without consulting anyone. Rhetorically, Isaiah asks who directed the Spirit of the Lord or counseled Him in his plans; who gave Him the knowledge and understanding to bring this all about? (12-14) The answer, of course, is no one – God did it by His own power and for His own purposes. To God, all the nations are like nothing, and less than nothing, according to Isaiah. God is described as the One who sits above “the circle of the earth, and its inhabitants are like grasshoppers” to him (22). Again, rhetorically God asks: “To whom will you compare me, or who is my equal?” (25) The answer is: no one! He then tells the people to look up into the sky and see the stars. It is God who created all of them, numbered them, and calls them by name – not one is missing. (26) At the end of the chapter, we finish with those verses so often quoted for inspiration: “Those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” (31) In the middle of this chapter that has such grandeur and power associated with God, we are told that He holds his lambs to his bosom, and gently leads them forth. (11) It is here that we see the wonderful blending in God of power and transcendence with gentleness DISCUSS and tenderness.

If you imagine Jesus walking up and speaking to you, do you picture him as being gentle with you? Why or why not?

The Gentleness of Jesus

The same dichotomy is played out in the Gospel stories of Jesus. Jesus honors a poor, elderly widow woman. He compassionately heals lepers whom everyone else runs from in fear. Seeing the only son of a widow being taken for burial and knowing that his mother can’t take care of herself, he raises the man up from the dead for her sake. Jesus even uses the word, gentle, to describe himself as he tells those who are “weary and are carrying heavy burdens” to come to him. “Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me,” he tells them, “for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30) And yet, this is also the same Jesus who throws over the tables of the moneychangers and uses a whip on the people selling animals at exorbitant prices in the Temple. The same Jesus confronted the leaders of the Jews and stood up to the Pharisees, calling them hypocrites in front of all the many people gathered to hear him. (Matthew 23) The same Jesus causes horrible demons to cringe in submission before him.

Gentleness without Compromise

In John 8, the Jewish leaders are looking for an excuse to arrest Jesus and do away with him. He is at the Temple teaching when the Scribes and Pharisees interrupt him by bringing a woman to stand in front of him. Here is a woman, they say, who has been caught in the act of adultery. They throw out the bait to this upstart preacher – “Hey, Jesus, Moses wrote a law that said that a woman who commits adultery should be stoned, so what do you want us to do?” Now they have him, they think. If he tells them to let her go, then he will prove to everyone that he is a sinner who discounts the Laws of Moses. If he says to stone her, then he will come off as unmerciful and bloodthirsty. After looking down to write in the sand, Jesus straightens up and tells them what to do: “Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” (vs. 7) After these words, he stoops back down and begins writing with his finger again. (Several ancient authors surmise that he was writing the sins of the accusers on the ground.) One by one, the pious accusers of the woman begin to fade away until none of them remain behind to throw a rock at her. Jesus stands back up and asks her where her accusers are, and if anyone still condemns her. When she answers “no one,” he tells her that he does not condemn her either. He then makes a comment that we sometimes ignore: “Go your way, and from now on do not sin again.” (vs.11) Jesus is not condoning her sin by not condemning her. Perhaps he can tell that the humiliation of the situation has already been sufficient to create a repentant spirit in her. Rather, he tells her to stop sinning. Christ forgives us, but he also empowers us so that we will stop sinning and no longer be a slave to our lusts and wrong desires. Jesus showed gentleness in his handling of this delicate situation. He didn’t point his finger or shout and threaten these men who were using her as a pawn. Nor did he speak harshly to this lady who was clearly guilty of breaking one of the Ten Commandments. He responded with gentleness to all parties involved in the incident. Even if he was writing the sins of the accusers in the dirt, he could have just as easily have stood up and called their sins out loud, thus publicly embarrassing the accusers in front of all the people within hearing at the Temple. His gentle response to the accusers gave them the opportunity to fade away with little repercussions. His response to the woman gently offered to her mercy while at the same time challenged her to live differently.

Gentle with Children

Another example of Jesus’s gentleness is how he interacted with children. They were often present when he spoke in public, and he utilized them at times to make points about spirituality. When Jesus was asked by the Apostles to name who was the greatest among them, Jesus called a little child up, and told them that unless they became humble, like the little child, they could not enter the Kingdom of Heaven. He then threatened his listeners by saying if they ever caused a little one like this to lose their faith in him, it would be better for that person to have died first. He added that these little ones have angels in heaven looking out for their interests, so be careful how you treat them. (Matthew 18:1-9) Another time, when the Disciples sought to

prevent parents from bringing their children to Jesus to bless them, Jesus responded, “Let the little children come to me, and do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs. Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it.” (Luke 18:16-17) In an episode of the recent mini-series The Chosen, Jesus is seen camping out in a wooded area outside a city. One day a little child and her friend spot his campsite, and begin coming to visit him. Before long a whole group of children are coming to see him every day, and he begins teaching them things about God, such as the Lord’s Prayer. They are all disappointed the day that they come to his campsite only to find that he has left to begin his public ministry. Although this was speculative on the part of the filmmakers, it is consistent with what we see of Jesus in the scriptures. What a beautiful way for the writers of the show to communicate his gentle and meek nature, by showing how children would naturally have been drawn to him and enjoyed being around him.

Gentle Exorcist?

The last example that I would offer to us might not appear to represent gentleness at all. And yet, if the Oxford English Dictionary says that the meaning of gentle is to “kind or tender; to make or become gentle, calm or pacify,” I believe this story will show us another aspect of the gentleness of Jesus. One day Jesus suggests to his disciples that they should go across the Lake to the other side. When they cross over, they are confronted by a man who is tormented by a multitude of demons. These demons cause him to live in the tombs, to howl in agony, and make him have such strength that he breaks the chains that the citizens bind him with out of fear. Jesus casts all these demons out of this man and into a herd of pigs. After this miracle, the man is described this way: “Then people came out to see what had happened, and when they came to Jesus, they found the man from whom the demons had gone sitting at the feet of Jesus, clothed and in his right mind.” (Mark 5:15) The man who had been tormented and frightening was now calmed and pacified — the definition of gentleness. Once again, we see that gentleness does not make Jesus weak — on the contrary, he demonstrates impressive spiritual power. Rather, his gentleness is shown in his willingness to spend a day crossing the lake to get to this man, showing compassion on his pain and restoring his human dignity and freedom.

Gentle Christians

Paul tells us that when we have the Fruit of the Spirit in our lives (Galatians 5:22-3), we will be marked by gentleness. God is our model for this fruit — through His gentle, shepherd-like care of His people in the Old Testament, and ultimately through Jesus in the New Testament, as well as the followers of Jesus. Since the Spirit of Christ Jesus is living in us as the Temple of the Holy Spirit, we are empowered to become gentle as he is gentle. We can engage in the world to bring calm to troubles and to show kindness to those who need a touch from God. Like Christ, we are not weak or reticent to engage with others; rather, our gentleness leads us to use our strengths for ministry with tenderness toward the needs of others. The world may mock and scorn our gentleness, but sinners in need of grace, those with child-like hearts, and those oppressed by spiritual darkness will be drawn to us as a source of healing, freedom, and blessing.

Gentleness in Leadership

Gentleness is vital for all believers, but it is especially important for those in a position of leading or mentoring others. Paul repeatedly used the word to speak to church leadership in his letters. Gentleness is an effective tool in helping struggling Christians regain their strength in order to live the Christian life with integrity. Paul trained the young leaders Timothy and Titus to assist him in his work and help establish the churches that they planted. In his letters to them, Paul shares with techniques for dealing with the kinds of people that they will encounter in their work with churches. For example, Paul writes to give Timothy advice on handling confrontation. “And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kindly to everyone, an apt teacher, patient, correcting opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant that they will repent and come to know the truth, and that they may escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will.” (2 Timothy 2:25) Paul is warning Timothy to keep his focus on restoring people, not on winning an argument. We must choose to correct gently and carefully those who get off track so as to draw people toward Christ rather than run them away from Him. Paul has practiced what he preaches to Timothy. In his letter to the Thessalonians, he described his manner of ministry with them as gentle. “We were gentle (Greek word used here means ‘like a young child’) among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her children.” But then, in his first letter to the Corinthians Paul shows that his gentleness does not prevent him from using his authority to discipline, if the situation warrants it. “What would you prefer?” he asks them, “Am I to come to you with a stick, or with love in a spirit of gentleness?” (I Corinthians 4:21) In his second letter to the Corinthian church, Paul writes: “I myself, Paul, appeal to you by the meekness and gentleness of Christ — I who am humble when face to face with you, but bold toward you when I am away!” Here Paul says that he acts like Jesus (meek, humble, and gentle) when with them in Corinth, but, is also strong and aggressive, like Jesus, in his correcting them when he is traveling. So, it appears that gentleness does not preclude or prevent a person being able to be assertive or aggressive when the occasion calls for it. Paul offers similar advice to the more mature Christians

DISCUSS

Can you think of another story in the Gospels that illustrates the gentle nature of Jesus? Explain your answer. What person best exemplifies gentleness to you – what does their gentleness look like in the way that they act and live?

24 | SUSTAIN in Galatia: “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.” (Galatians 6:1, NIV) The key is the use of gentleness with correction – most of the time people respond better to the tender touch than they do to harsh reproof. Note how, when Paul writes to the Ephesians, he uses the language of begging rather than command: “I therefore, the prisoner in the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” (Ephesians 4:1-3) The stronger reproof is rarely effective unless you have gained the right to do so by having built a strong relationship with the person. Just “whacking” a person for their mistakes will usually bring up defense mechanisms, and cause retreat rather than repentance. The letter of Hebrews also cautions us to approach wayward, struggling Christians with gentleness. The writer first notes that as priests it is our role to intercede on behalf of others. He then adds that such a priest is “able to deal gently with the ignorant and wayward, since he himself is subject to weakness; and because of this he must offer sacrifice for his own sins as well as for those of the people.” (Hebrews 5:2-3) The key here is that as a priest (remember, we believe in the priesthood of all believers – every Christian is a priest) we must remind ourselves that we also struggle to live righteously, and often need forgiveness ourselves. This should inform our leadership in such a way that gentleness and mercy become the pattern for our correcting or redirecting. Finally, Peter’s advice on witnessing to our faith to a difficult adversary is a good place to end this lesson. He tells his readers to “always be ready to make your defense to anyone who demands from you an accounting for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and reverence. Keep your conscience clear, so that, when you are maligned, those who abuse you for your good conduct in Christ may be put to shame. For it is better to suffer for doing good, if suffering should be God’s will, than to suffer for doing evil.” (I Peter 3:15-17) Once again, the purity of our lives gives us the right to make our stand, but the gentleness and respect by which we address our opponent gains us a hearing. Gentleness, then, is a vital aspect of the Fruit of the Spirit, especially for parents, teachers, and other leaders who must instruct or correct others, and is the key to success in sharing our faith with outsiders. Perhaps we should seek to be gentler in our everyday lives!

Application Idea: Consider how people think of you as a Christian – especially any unbelievers who know you. Would gentleness be a term that they used to describe you? What about people whom you lead, teach, or mentor? If not, make this your prayer this next week: Lord, teach me to be gentle: Gentle in the way that I treat people; gentle in my reactions when things don’t go my way; gentle in my concern for those struggling as Christians. Fill me with the gentleness of Christ Jesus. Like him, may I come to be known for my gentleness!