Passive aggressive

Passive-aggressive behaviour

Question # 1 What is passive-aggressive behaviour?

Passive aggressive behaviour is a deliberate and masked way to express anger.

It involves a variety of behaviours designed to get back at another person without the other recognizing the underlying anger. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/passive-aggressive-diaries/201601/6-steps-confront-passive-aggressive-behavior

Passive-aggressiveness is the indirect expression of hostility.

It can take the form of a negative attitude such as resentment. It can also manifest in resistance.

https://hbr.org/2016/01/reduce-passive-aggressive-behavior-on-your-team

The default mind-set at a passive-aggressive organization is defensiveness.

People feel they need to “guard their turf.�

http://www.strategy-business.com/blog/Is-Your-Organization-Passive-Aggressive

Passive-aggressive behaviour develops in people’s minds

when they experience negative consequences of disagreeing, i.e. when they do not feel safe in the environment they work / live in.

https://hbr.org/2016/01/reduce-passive-aggressive-behavior-on-your-team

The passive-aggressive organization is insular, defensive, and rigid.

Resistance to change is rooted in its nature. http://www.strategy-business.com/blog/Is-Your-Organization-Passive-Aggressive

Further inspiration https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/How-can-we-manage-our-emotions-1678947

Question # 2 How do we respond to passive-aggressive behaviour?

A large part of letting go of passive-aggressive behaviour is to accept that conflict happens.

http://www.fastcompany.com/3049996/hit-the-ground-running/how-to-eliminate-passive-aggressive-behavior-in-your-office https://hbr.org/2014/06/signs-youre-being-passive-aggressive/

Try to understand needs people have.

https://hbr.org/2014/06/signs-youre-being-passive-aggressive/

Focus on finding solutions, not faults.

http://www.strategy-business.com/blog/Is-Your-Organization-Passive-Aggressive

Commonly, passive-aggressive behaviour is expressed with sarcasm. Do not allow humour to shut things down.

Say, “We’ve enjoyed a laugh, now let’s get back to Bob’s point.” https://hbr.org/2016/01/reduce-passive-aggressive-behavior-on-your-team

When someone comes up with a different point of view, try saying this:  “That is a different way of looking at this issue. Interesting.

What can we learn / gain from that perspective?”  “That’s not how I was thinking about it.

Can you explain why you think what you think, please?”

Adapted from https://hbr.org/2016/01/reduce-passive-aggressive-behavior-on-your-team

Encourage openness, for example by  being open-minded yourself.  asking people to explain.

Adapted from http://www.strategy-business.com/blog/Is-Your-Organization-Passive-Aggressive

When a person’s body language is negative, ask the person this: “I can see you push away from the table. Can you explain why you do that, please?” https://hbr.org/2016/01/how-to-deal-with-a-passive-aggressive-colleague https://hbr.org/2016/01/reduce-passive-aggressive-behavior-on-your-team

Ask “How do you interpret the comment Susan made?�

https://hbr.org/2016/01/how-to-deal-with-a-passive-aggressive-colleague

Encourage people to focus on the benefits of addressing conflict directly.

Examples of benefits  Faster execution.  Less gossiping.  Fewer meetings. https://hbr.org/2016/01/reduce-passive-aggressive-behavior-on-your-team

Further inspiration https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/How-can-we-manage-conflicts-2016263