How can we manage conflicts?

Conflict management

Strategy # 1: Fight.

Strategy # 2: Cooperate.

Strategy # 3: Compromise.

Strategy # 4: Adapt.

Strategy # 5: Avoid.

Strategy # 1 Fight

Self confidence

1 Fight

2 Cooperate

3 Compromise

5 Avoid Adapted from Blake & Mouton, 1964.

4 Adapt Cooperative behaviour

Possibility A Fight all you can until someone wins – and the other loses.

http://thisisindexed.com/2011/02/and-the-pros-make-the-big-money/

Fight when you are negotiating with someone who prefers to be competitive. http://culture-at-work.com/5styles.html

Whenever you're fighting about ideas, it's important that you're engaging in the “right fight,� criticizing another person's ideas and not the person himself. http://99u.com/articles/7224/Why-Fighting-For-Our-Ideas-Makes-Them-Better

Destruction

Focus on person Threats

Hostile images

Focus on topic

Conversation stops Tactical argumentation Disagreement

Hate the sin and not the sinner is a precept which, though easy enough to understand, is rarely practiced. And that is why the poison of hatred spreads in the world.

http://www.businessinsider.com/gandhi-quotes-thatll-make-you-want-to-change-the-world-2014-8

Possibility B Stop the process when the important decision maker does not want change

If an important decision maker prolongs a process on purpose, because he or she for some reason does not want change, stop the process. https://hbr.org/2014/05/you-cant-delegate-change-management/

15% say they get the best outcome when they exploit the other person’s cooperation unilaterally, and those 15% are driving a lot of conflict.

Results of surveys with thousands of employees. http://www.gsb.stanford.edu/news/research/nir-halevey-how-do-you-resolve-conflict

Further inspiration https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/How-do-we-manage-our-emotions-1678947

Strategy # 2 Cooperate

Self confidence

1 Fight

2 Cooperate

3 Compromise

5 Avoid Adapted from Blake & Mouton, 1964.

4 Adapt Strongly cooperative behaviour

https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Cooperation-2466832

Strategy # 3 Compromise

Self confidence

1 Fight

2 Cooperate

3 Compromise

5 Avoid Adapted from Blake & Mouton, 1964.

4 Adapt Cooperative behaviour

Question A Why do we compromise?

Why do we compromise?

1. We are under time pressure and need quick solutions.

2. Problems are complex and we need temporary settlements.

3. Collaboration is difficult.

Sources http://web.mit.edu/collaboration/mainsite/modules/module1/1.11.5.html http://culture-at-work.com/5styles.html

Everyone accepts a compromise because it includes everybody’s input. The problem is, a compromise may be the worst decision.

Example If person A wants to cross an area using the bridge to the east and his partner wants to cross the area using the bridge to the west, the worst possible thing may be to go straight ahead where there is no bridge.

Kofman, Fred: Conscious Business, p. 171.

In cultures that score low on masculinity such as the Netherlands, Sweden, and Denmark, there is a preference for resolving conflicts by compromise and negotiation.

Hofstede, Geert: Cultures and Organizations, p. 166.

Question B How do we start the compromising process?

At Morning Star, conflicts are handled via a 4-step procedure: 1. Speak directly to the colleague. See if you can sort out your differences.

2. Bring in a 3rd colleague to mediate / facilitate the conversation.

3. Create a panel of 6 - 10 additional colleagues.

4. CEO Chris Rufer joins the panel and helps make a decision.

This happens about 10 times every year.

http://nymag.com/news/features/bossless-jobs-2013-6/index3.html

Before you start making your case in a negotiation, ask the other person questions. When you ask for advice, you value his or her opinions and expertise.

Asking for advice also puts the other person in your shoes. He or she will see your perspective and become sympathetic to your cause. http://hbr.org/tip/2014/09/22/win-someone-over-by-asking-for-advice

Bargaining zone

http://www.scribd.com/doc/6672392/Conflict-Management-and-Negotiation-826

Question C How can a mediator / facilitator help find a compromise?

Facilitation and support are most helpful when fear and anxiety lie at the heart of resistance.

Facilitation and support can include 1. listening to people, 2. providing emotional support.

3. providing training in new skills, https://hbr.org/2008/07/choosing-strategies-for-change

Further inspiration https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/How-can-we-listen-better-1485898 https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/How-can-we-understand-the-problem-1531110

Question D A manager or judge decides

Example The manager of a co-working space makes clear rules about who cleans the coffee cups.

Adapted from https://hbr.org/2014/05/most-work-conflicts-arent-due-to-personality/

Strategy # 4 Adapt.

Self confidence

1 Fight

2 Cooperate

3 Compromise

5 Avoid Adapted from Blake & Mouton (1964).

4 Adapt Cooperative behaviour

Adapting could, for example, mean that you choose to obey another person’s order, even though you would prefer not to. https://www.cpp.com/pdfs/4813.pdf

Why do you adapt? 5 examples.

1. Harmony is important for you.

2. You realize you are wrong and want to show you are reasonable.

3. The problem is more important to the other person than it is to you.

4. You want to build up social credits for later issues which are more important to you.

5. You are losing and realize that continued competition will damage you.

http://web.mit.edu/collaboration/mainsite/modules/module1/1.11.5.html

Thailand is the most femine Asian country. Thai people learn how to avoid aggression rather than how to defend themselves against it.

Hofstede, Geert: Cultures and Organizations, p. 138.

Strategy # 5 Avoid.

Self confidence

1 Fight

2 Cooperate

3 Compromise

5 Avoid Adapted from Blake & Mouton (1964).

4 Adapt Cooperative behaviour

http://hbr.org/web/slideshows/difficult-conversations-nine-common-mistakes/1-slide

When do you avoid? 2 examples 1. When a cooling off period is needed.

2. When you have little power to change things.

https://hbr.org/2014/06/when-and-how-to-let-a-conflict-go http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130822022815-75054000-how-to-handle-difficult-people http://web.mit.edu/collaboration/mainsite/modules/module1/1.11.5.html

Make sure that you do not use the avoid strategy as an excuse for not addressing problems.

Problems will worsen when you leave them unresolved.

https://www.cpp.com/pdfs/CPP_Global_Human_Capital_Report_Workplace_Conflict.pdf