Asking for help

Asking for help

Question # 1 Why is it difficult for people to ask for help?

The primary reason that asking for help is hard for people is fear, for example  fear of being rejected.  fear of showing vulnerability.  fear of being seen as weak.  fear of being laughed at.  fear of being judged for seeking help.  fear of losing status.  fear of losing control. https://www.businessinsider.com/science-reasons-stop-being-afraid-ask-for-help?r=US&IR=T https://www.cnbc.com/2020/04/22/why-asking-for-help-is-so-hard-and-how-to-get-better-at-it.html https://psychcentral.com/blog/asking-for-help/ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/tracking-wonder/202002/4-tips-effectively-ask-help-and-get-yes https://www.theverge.com/2018/6/22/17475134/heidi-grant-reinforcements-help-social-psychology

A reason why it is difficult for humans to ask for help is that

people want to do things on their own and be independent.

Asking for help makes people feel uneasy because it requires surrendering control to someone else.

https://www.cnbc.com/2020/04/22/why-asking-for-help-is-so-hard-and-how-to-get-better-at-it.html

A reason why it is difficult for people to ask for help is that a human

being is afraid of being perceived as someone who needs something. We don’t want to be ashamed of our situation or come across as incompetent. So we work hard to make sure people don’t see us this way.

https://www.cnbc.com/2020/04/22/why-asking-for-help-is-so-hard-and-how-to-get-better-at-it.html

Another reason why asking for help is hard for us is that we are not good at articulating our needs in a way that makes it easy for people to offer constructive aid.

https://www.cnbc.com/2020/04/22/why-asking-for-help-is-so-hard-and-how-to-get-better-at-it.html

Question # 2 What can make it easier for you to ask for help and get help?

When we practice asking for help, we can get better at it. Start small, for example by asking a neighbor to bring a certain food item next time they go to the supermarket.

https://www.cnbc.com/2020/04/22/why-asking-for-help-is-so-hard-and-how-to-get-better-at-it.html

Organize “mayday roundtables�, i.e. spaces where people

feel safe asking other people for help. It can, for example, be a breakout room in small groups during a call via Zoom.

https://www.cnbc.com/2020/04/22/why-asking-for-help-is-so-hard-and-how-to-get-better-at-it.html

Avoid asking for help over email or WhatsApp. Ask for help

face-to-face. Why? Because face-to-face requests are 34 times more successful.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/tracking-wonder/202002/4-tips-effectively-ask-help-and-get-yes

When you ask for help, try to communicate clearly. Describe  what the task is,  why the task matters,  how the person you’re asking can contribute.

Try to be as specific as possible so people know exactly what it is they will need to do and can accurately judge how much time and energy the task will take. https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/tracking-wonder/202002/4-tips-effectively-ask-help-and-get-yes https://www.theverge.com/2018/6/22/17475134/heidi-grant-reinforcements-help-social-psychology