14 minute read
Adults Are Part of the Solution
Adults Are Part
Adults have an opportunity to model good online behavior for the younger generations. The question is: Are we doing it?
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Ihad thought about starting this article with a sampling of recent comments from various social media platforms like Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and others. Unfortunately, I was not able to find many that were fit for print or did not contain offensive, demeaning, or downright hateful language. Even Pope Francis has not been able to escape the wrath of online commenters.
So instead, I will offer just a few of the often repeated words that I came across in a 5-minute run-through of the sites: idiot, moron, fat, ugly, stupid. Instances of namecalling, body shaming, harassment, and sometimes actual threats are typed out for all to see. And that’s not even considering private text messages.
There is something about the protective shield of the Internet that makes people feel free to share or say whatever they want without fear of consequences. If we have an opinion, we’re going to share it. The veil of the computer screen makes us forget that there is a real-life person on the other end.
But there is a flip side to this behavior. At the start of the coronavirus pandemic, online communication served as a lifeline for many of us. This technology helped us stay connected via social media, online conferencing, and a wide range of other forms of technology. We have read posts and comments that truly lift up what is good and right with people and our world. It has demonstrated the best of what social media can—and should— be used for.
The question we have to ask ourselves, though, is which side of that behavior do we
want to be on? As adults, are we contributing to the negative aspects of this tool or using the blessings of technology to the benefit of both our smaller social circles and the greater community?
NOT JUST A YOUNG PEOPLE’S PROBLEM
When most adults think about poor online behavior, like cyberbullying, they immediately think of adolescents. Do a quick Google search and you will find a treasure trove of information regarding the online behaviors of adolescents. Accompanying many of those articles are tips for how adults can help younger people deal with the challenges and downsides of digital media.
If you try to find information regarding adults’ online behavior, the search numbers drastically decline. That’s because we’re supposed to know better, right? Well, that’s not often the case.
A 2017 Pew Research survey found that “41 percent of Americans have been personally subjected to harassing behavior online, and an even larger share (66 percent) has witnessed these behaviors directed at others. In some cases, these experiences are limited to behaviors that can be ignored or shrugged off as a nuisance of online life, such as offensive name-calling or efforts to embarrass someone. But nearly one in five Americans (18 percent) have been subjected to particularly severe forms of harassment online, such as physical threats, harassment over a sustained period, sexual harassment, or stalking.”
Unfortunately, this less-than-stellar behavior goes all the way to the highest office in the
land. President Donald Trump is well-known for his Twitter rants and name-calling. The responses, however, are often no less inappropriate. It is behavior we wouldn’t tolerate from children and young adults. And yet we turn a blind eye to it or laugh it off. Sports, entertainment, politics, parenting, the Church, and even Pope Francis are wide-open targets for online attacks.
A PERENNIAL CHALLENGE
Back in 1963, the Internet was a far-off concept, but other forms of communication were widespread at the time, such as television. In response to these new avenues of communication, the bishops at Vatican II approved the document “Inter Mirifica,” regarding the media of social communications.
The document stated: “The Church recognizes that these media, if properly utilized, can be of great service to mankind, since they greatly contribute to men’s entertainment and instruction as well as to the spread and support of the kingdom of God. The Church recognizes, too, that men can employ these media contrary to the plan of the Creator and to their own loss. Indeed, the Church experiences maternal grief at the harm all too often done to society by their evil use.”
When you read that passage in the context of our current forms of social media, the message still applies. Since then, the shifting online communications world has continued to be on the radar of subsequent popes such as St. John Paul II and Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI, both of whom spoke often of the potential of online communication as well as the possible downside.
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By the example set through their personal use of technology, adults can either model a positive and loving use of this media or contribute to the harmful and often hurtful effects of it.
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Pope Francis accepts a book from Mark Zuckerberg, CEO of Facebook (far left), detailing the history of Internet connectivity throughout the world. Zuckerberg is joined by his wife, Priscilla, and Greg Burke, director of the Vatican press office.
In his 2002 World Communications Day message, Pope John Paul II likened the rapidly growing Internet to an ancient Roman forum, where “politics and business were transacted, where religious duties were fulfilled, where much of the social life of the city took place, and where the best and the worst of human nature was on display.”
With that in mind, he said: “Like the new frontiers of other times, this one, too, is full of the interplay of danger and promise, and not without the sense of adventure which marked other great periods of change. For the Church, the new world of cyberspace is a summons to the great adventure of using its potential to proclaim the Gospel message.”
That challenge still lies before us today perhaps even more so as we become more and more reliant on digital communication as part of our everyday lives.
BE BETTER
The poet Maya Angelou once said, “When you know better, do better.” We adults should use that as our battle cry regarding our own online behavior. That is because the younger generations are watching the behavior we model. How can we steer them in the right direction regarding positive digital behavior
when we ourselves seem to have lost our way?
Despite its flaws, the Church has used online communication to help embolden our sense of community, especially during this time of separation due to the coronavirus pandemic. (For some examples, read “Spiritual Nourishment in a Digital World” on page 44.)
And no one has been a better model of that than Pope Francis. From his 18.2 million followers on Twitter to his frequent video messages virtually delivered to people throughout the world, he has harnessed the power of social media to build up society and communicate with not only Catholics but also people throughout the world. He is known for stopping to snap selfies with people, and in 2017 he delivered an online TED Talk on “Why the only future worth building includes everyone.” He has taken online evangelization to a new level.
The pope’s 2020 message for the World Day of Social Communications focused on storytelling, citing Exodus 10:2, which says “that you may tell your children and grandchildren.” He spoke of all of us as storytellers and asked us to reflect on what types of stories we are telling and living.
“I believe that, so as not to lose our bearings, we need to make our own the truth contained in good stories. Stories that build up, not tear down; stories that help us rediscover our roots and the strength needed to move forward together. Amid the cacophony of voices and messages that surround us, we need a human story that can speak of ourselves and of the beauty all around us. A narrative that can regard our world and its happenings with a tender gaze. A narrative that can tell us that we are part of a living and interconnected tapestry. A narrative that can reveal the interweaving of the threads which connect us to one another.”
TIME FOR A SELF CHECK-IN
Once we decide that we want to be part of the solution rather than part of the problem, then what do we do? Here are five questions you might consider asking yourself when it comes to your online behavior.
“Before you speak, ask yourself if what you are going to say is true, is kind, is necessary, is helpful. If the answer is no, maybe what you are about to say should be left unsaid.” —Bernard Meltzer 1) Would I say that to my child, grandchild, family, or friend?
I doubt that if your child or grandchild said something you didn’t agree with, you would call him or her stupid, an idiot, or worse. Would you tell friends or relatives that they looked fat in a picture they posted? If you can answer no to those questions, then you should be able to answer no about saying those things to anyone you interact with on the Internet. Ask yourself: How would I feel if someone else said to me the same thing that I am about to post?
2) What’s the source?
In the more than 20 years I have been writing this magazine’s “Church in the News” column, I have learned one thing—sometimes the hard way—and that is to always go back to the original source.
If the pope said something, go to the Vatican website to read it for yourself. If an organization made a statement regarding something, check out their site. Organizations usually have a section on their websites dedicated to news or official statements.
And read beyond the headline. The purpose of a headline is to grab the reader’s attention in as few words as possible. By that fact, it is not possible to flesh out the full story in a headline. Keep reading.
Also, make sure to fact-check things you read. Thanks to the expanse of the Internet, there are many people who offer their opinions as facts. Some good fact-checking sites are snopes.com, politifact.com, and FactCheck.org.
3) Do I need to comment?
Sometimes it’s best just to scroll right past some comments. Just because we can comment doesn’t mean we have to. If you see someone has posted something negative or hurtful, try not to respond. Take the higher road and say a prayer for that person. We never know what people are going through that may make them lash out in such a negative and hurtful way. Don’t let them draw you into their pain.
4) What message am I sending?
Aside from what we say through our words on the Internet, we also make a statement by the things we like and forward. Memes and photos can seem funny but can also be hurtful when they are directed at a specific person or play into and foster certain stereotypes. Stop and think for a moment before hitting the like, share, or retweet button.
5) Am I part of the problem or the solution?
Stop and think about your online behavior in the past few weeks. Think about things you’ve posted, forwarded, or commented on. Now look at them through the lens of this question: Was your behavior loving and positive? Did it contribute to the building up of community? Or did your actions tear down the connectivity for which we should all be striving?
In the words of radio host Bernard Meltzer: “Before you speak, ask yourself if what you are going to say is true, is kind, is necessary, is helpful. If the answer is no, maybe what you are about to say should be left unsaid.”
TIME FOR ACTION
As I said earlier, there is an abundance of articles for adults on how to help younger generations deal with the complex and often difficult world of social media. And while those articles from knowledgeable professionals are all very helpful, we have the ability to make a big difference ourselves. We can accomplish that by demonstrating the types of behavior both online and in real life that we hope to instill in our children and grandchildren.
With the current pandemic and the upcoming election, we are likely to not see the best online behavior from adults. Let’s remember to be part of the solution, not add to the problem.
As Pope Francis said in this year’s World Day of Social Communications message: “This is the network we want, a network created not to entrap, but to liberate, to protect a communion of people who are free. The Church herself is a network woven together by eucharistic communion, where unity is based not on ‘likes,’ but on the truth, on the ‘Amen,’ by which each one clings to the body of Christ and welcomes others.” Let’s help make that happen.
Susan Hines-Brigger is an executive editor of this magazine. As the mother of four, she does her best to stay current about technology and social media platforms and tries to model and monitor good digital behavior.
