Lawrence Kids, Fall 2012

Lawrence Kids Fall, 2012

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sweet16

12ncaa @kuathletics #20

@coachbonniek u “Don’t miss the opportunity to watch your exciting, nationally-ranked women’s basketball team with two All-America candidates in CAROLYN DAVIS and ANGEL GOODRICH. The entertainment value and the family atmosphere are two of the many reasons you should become a season ticket holder.”

— Head Coach Bonnie Henrickson

#kuwbb

O R D E R T O D AY T O R E S E R V E YO U R S E AT I N

ALLEN FIELDHOUSE

2012-13 KANSAS WOMEN’S BASKETBALL RESERVED & SEASON TICKETS FULL-SEASON — $99 Reserved Ticket(s) SENIOR CITIZEN (55+) — $69 Season Ticket(s) GENERAL ADMISSION — $69 Season Ticket(s)

FAMILY ZONE PACKAGE — $149 Season Ticket(s) — GA (Includes 2 adult/2 youth (17 & under) BIG 12 PACKAGE (9 GAMES/PACK) Big 12 Package — Reserved — $55 Big 12 Package — GA — $45 K CLUB MEMBER — $69 Reserved Ticket(s)

PLEASE NOTE: LARGE ORDER MAY NOT BE SEATED TOGETHER. ALL ORDERS ARE SUBJECT TO AVAILABILITY. PATRONS PURCHASING RESERVED SEATS WILL BE SEATED IN BEST AVAILABLE SEAT LOCATION.

TO ORDER TICKETS ONLINE VISIT: KUTICKETS.COM TO ORDER TICKETS BY PHONE CALL: 800.34.HAWKS

The Junior Jayhawks Kids Club is an exclusive club for the most loyal KU fans ages 13 and under.

Enjoy great prizes, free admission to games, meet and greet student-athletes and much more!

birthdayparties FOOTBALL — $299 What better way to celebrate a fall birthday than to spend it on Campanile Hill with up to 20 of your closest friends? Enjoy the experience on the Hill while watching Jayhawk Football.

WOMEN’S BASKETBALL — $149

RESERVE YOUR SPOT TODAY, ONLY $45!

FOR MORE INFORMATION:

jrjayhawks@ku.edu 785-864-7988

Kids with winter birthdays are invited to celebrate at Allen Fieldhouse with the Kansas Women's Basketball team. You get your own special party area for up to 10 friends, a visit from Big or Baby Jay and much more! Take advantage of the Fun Zone with inflatables, poster making and great photo opportunities.

BASEBALL & SOFTBALL — $110

With low prices, our dates will fill up quickly, so schedule your birthday party today for you and 10 of your closest friends!

RESERVE YOUR PARTY TODAY! Contact Kansas Athletics at 785-864-7988

VISIT KUATHLETICS.COM FOR SCHEDULE INFORMATION.

Healthy activity promotes wellness for the mind, body and spirit.

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Lawrence Kids Fall, 2012

In Every Issue Seasonal Essentials Health Viewpoint Season’s Readings 5 Easy Tips Reuse

08 12 18 22 24 62

Features The Ballard Center 28 The Art of Imperfect Parenting 38 Kids and Politics 48 5 Fall Must-Dos 55

contributing writers

Megan Stuke / Jennifer Powers Rebecca Dunn / Kathy Severa / Craig Cox

contributing photographers

Emmalee Schaumburg schaumburgphotography.com Dave Leiker flyoverpeople.net/galleries.htm Tara Nelson taranelsonphotography.com

a project of

Four Birds Media

info@lawrencekidsmagazine.com (785) 766-5669

cover photo: Rae Cordova / TOC photo by Emmalee Schuamburg

Allison Vance Moore, Senior Vice President at Colliers International, is a busy lady.

Allison is all over Lawrence showing commercial properties and shuttling sons Finn (4), Alex (9) and Parker (5) to activities. Though she doesn’t have downtime, Moore is a master of controlling the chaos, and enjoying her Seasonal Essentials. cont. photo by Emmalee Schaumburg

We’re Open!

New Pediatric Practice

Lawrence Pediatrics believes in complete preventive care and Dr. Kirsten Evans has lived in Lawrence since 1989. healingschool for children from birth to She completed medical and residency at The ageMedical 21. Center and has practiced University of Kansas

pediatrics in Topeka, Kansas City and Virginia, treating children of all ages withmission: a wide variety of illnesses. Dr. Our Evans has workedprovide in private practice, as faculty at The comprehensive pediatric KU Med Center and as a pediatric hospitalist at Storcare for your child’s lifelong mont Vail Health Care. Dr. Evans serves as adjunct fachealth. ulty for Saint Louis University and is president Welcome ofWelcome the to toour ournew newpractice. practice... ..open .opento toall! all!

Welcome to our new practice. .open to all!

Kansas Medical Education Foundation.

Dr. Kirsten Evans has lived in Lawrence since 1989. She Welcome to our new practice. . .ope Kirsten Evans completed medical school and Kirsten E. Evans M.D., Ph. D., F.A.A.P. M.D., Ph.D., F.A.A.P. residency at The University of Kansas Medical Center, and has Welcome to our new practice. . .open ,, ,p.a. p.a.to all! p.a. practiced pediatrics in Topeka, Kansas City, and Virginia, treating children of all ages with a wide variety COMPREHENSIVE COMPREHENSIVE PEDIATRIC of illnesses. She has worked in private practice, as a faculty PEDIATRIC member at The COMPREHENSIVE PEDIATRIC , p.a University of Kansas Medical Center,CARE and as aFOR pediatric hospitalist at CARE FOR YOUR YOUR CHILD CHILD CARE FOR YOUR CHILD Stormont Vail Health Care. Dr. Evans also serves as adjunct faculty for COMPREHENSIVE Saint Louis University and is president of the Kansas Medical Education PEDIATR , p.a.

Foundation.

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Lawrence Lawrence Pediatrics Pediatrics Lawrence Pediatrics Lawrence

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Suite D 8:00 AM - 5:00 PM MONDAY - FRIDAY 543 Lawrence Ave, Suite D, 543 Lawrence, KS 66049 Lawrence Ave 9:00 AM - 5:00 PM Suite D 785-856-9090 www. LawrencePeds.com

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Allison Vance Moore / Seasonal Essentials Football, Food & Friends

1 Gorilla Football! I’m married to a former KU football player and his passion for the game carries over to our boys.

He coaches the 2nd and 3rd grade combined team which creates multiple practices a week, games on Sundays followed by tailgating fun for the families and players. The camaraderie among the football families is so much fun!

10 Bee Creative Studio is a fun place to work on hand-

2 One of our favorite family activities is to pack up our bikes and ride on the bike paths down by the Rotary Arboretum.

It’s a scenic and perfect path for cyclists of all ages.

11 No fall could be complete without a trip to the pumpkin

3 As loyal KU fans, KU Football games are a must for our family! Tailgating not only includes snacks and time spent with friends, but also a pre-game “game” between a huge group of boys of all ages.

made crafts for family and friends allowing each boy to add his unique element to a Christmas gift. There’s plenty of room and the staff is so helpful; it’s a really fun and rewarding experience to see their efforts transformed into such timeless and personalized gifts. patch. My boys love to race through the colorful rows of ripe pumpkins, looking for THE perfect one. The typical choice is a pumpkin that weighs more than its owner. Then it’s home to scrape and carve the jack o’ lanterns we will light on Halloween night.

LK

4 A new, smaller soccer league, River City Futball, has been formed recently and creates a great opportunity for younger kids to learn to love the game of soccer. With weekly practices and games, it’s a fun way to kick off the fall season!

Tad’s Pizzeria, a New York Style pizza place, is a favorite post-game meal.

5 On days when there are no planned activities or events, Prairie Park Nature Center is a perfect place to explore and learn more about native Kansas wildlife. Their new favorite display is the rare black-footed ferret. With the indoor experience and the outdoor trails, it’s fun for all ages!

6 We also find time to visit our favorite pediatrician and her team at Lawrence Pediatrics for both wellness checks and flu shots. While shots are dreaded, the team and atmosphere at this office make it a great experience for all of us.

7 As a mom of 3 boys I have to get over my “ewwww” factor on a regular basis. Much to my surprise one of my favorite activities with my kids is a trip to Pet World where we shop every week for crickets to feed our gecko. There are so many fun pets to see and touch. It’s a perfect place to take the boys.

8 With all of the arts opportunities in Lawrence, we try to make time to take our boys to a theater performance or two at Theatre Lawrence, University Theatre, the Lied Center or the Lawrence Arts Center. We are so blessed to have these multiple entertainment options available to us right here in Lawrence. They are so good about offering kid and family friendly, affordable shows.

9 It’s a big Birthday quarter for our family! We enjoy gift shopping downtown at The Toy Store while experiencing the unique flavors of Downtown Lawrence, which must include a stop at Billy Vanilly Cupcake!

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How to Pick Your Pediatrician

by Kathy Severa

Today more than ever before, choosing a physician can be a difficult task.

Here’s how to find what’s best for your family.

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Medicine is simply not

black and white.

-

Selecting the best pediatrician or physician for your family is important. The process often starts with the question: Why do I need a physician? With walk-in clinics in most pharmacies and urgent care options in many cities, is it really important to name one person as your primary care provider? According to the American Medical Association, the answer is a resounding ‘yes.’

“So much of medicine is preventative care now not just treatment of illness,” says Dan Severa, M.D., physician at Family Medicine Associates in Lawrence. “It is much easier to see patterns and signs of potential illness if you have treated a patient over time. One of my greatest pleasures in providing family practice care is getting to know my patients and working with them on their health issues.”

Dan Severa, M.D.

Taking care of their health as your children grow and age is of a life-long need.

“We have the benefit of many new treatment regimens for everything from high blood pressure to diabetes care, but any medication has an impact on the body’s system overall,” Severa says. “Watching and tracking a patient’s vitals over time is essential to effectively managing their health.”

Medical research is providing the answers to many questions regarding illness. Greater understanding of illness has resulted in more information on how to prevent those illnesses. Prevention is taking center stage in the healthcare environment. A physician who is familiar with you and your habits can help you maximize the choices that will lead to ongoing health cont.

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and wellness throughout your life.

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“Your physician should be your partner in maintaining your health,” Severa says. “Approach to care is so much more than ‘take this pill and see me in 3 months.”

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highlight six key areas to prevention of illness: 1) Exercise and fitness 2) Diet and nutrition 3) Lifestyle choices 4) Vaccination /

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With all the new information coming out in any of the areas above, it is ideal to be able to consult with a healthcare professional that can see through the clutter of what is available and focus on those things that will do the most good for you. Statistics from the American Academy of Family Practice state that individuals with a good relationship with their primary care physician will seek care and advice sooner than those individuals who do not. This early and easy access is at the core of many healthcare initiatives in place today.

There are different ways to access health information today. Consumers need to be careful where they do their research and how it fits with their situation. One size does not fit all.

“Medicine is simply not black and white,” Severa says.

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What is true for one patient may not be the experience of the next patient. For many patients, the information is not presented in a non-clinical way which can lead to misconceptions.

“Those misconceptions can cause a lot of stress for patients.,” Severa says. “We work as a team at our office with physicians, physician assistants, nurses and support staff to do the best job we can in getting quality information to patients. It is more than a one person job.”

How can consumers make the most of their doctor visit? Experts agree it starts with making the right appointment. Being honest with the medical scheduler is the best way to insure you have the right appointment time for your medical need.

Medical schedulers are professionals who abide by all privacy rules and regulations. Misleading the scheduler could result in an appointment time that is too brief for your issue. For example, it takes more time to identify the cause of stomach pain than it does to address a sinus infection.

Next, prepare for your visit by having up-to-date information on your health history. Family history of illness can be a vital clue to choosing the right health screenings and choosing the timing of those screenings.

It is a good idea to make a list of the questions you have for your health provider. If you receive an answer you don’t understand, ask questions! A good physician wants you leave the exam room with a comfortable understanding of what was discussed.

“Choosing a provider of care that you feel comfortable talking with is essential,” adds Severa. “The patient needs to be able to discuss private issues without fear. We are not here to judge. We are here to help our patients achieve the best health possible.”

Patients should also be prepared to discuss emotional health issues. Stress and anxiety play a large role in many health problems. These types of concerns are another important piece of the puzzle for your physician.

Don’t forget to look at the physician’s qualifications.

In addition to being a good listener and a compassionate provider of care, make sure you are choosing a physician who is board certified. The process requires the physician or physician assistant to demonstrate proficiency in all areas of their specialty. They must also provide documentation of their ongoing education.

“Medicine is constantly changing and re-education is absolutely necessary,” Severa says. “There is something to be learned everyday in medicine. It keeps things interesting.”

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viewpoint

love is like

laughter

by Beth Cordova

photos by Emmalee Schaumburg

Laughing until you cry has to be one my favorite feelings. I used to enjoy watching my grandmother, Norma, laughing so hard and wiping her face because of the tears. I was fortunate enough to grow-up around funny/dysfunctional relatives so, this memory is pretty vivid.

If there is one thing I would want to pass on to my kids, it would be the gift of finding the humor in any situation. It’s a great stress reliever and so far, they have at least given me plenty of material to get through my day. cont.

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My grandmother passed almost six years ago. My son Gus was only two at the time and my daughter Brynn was a few months old. She was an incredible lady and it was disappointing to me that my children wouldn’t get to know her and have memories of her. As a family, we traveled back to Illinois to be at her funeral.

A few years later we were at our family vacation in Okoboji, Iowa. In the car we were talking about previous family trips up there and all the mishaps, which I could write an entire book about I am sure. We were laughing and carrying on when Gus added, “Hey mom, remember that time we went to that wedding and Grandma Norma was there?” The only family wedding I could remember him being at was when he was just a year old and I just couldn’t believe he would have a memory of it.

I asked more questions to see if I could figure it out. Then Gus said, “Yeah that wedding we went to, she was there and she just laid there the whole time!” Wow, he was talking about her funeral. My goodness, I couldn’t stop laughing. It was such a gift for many reasons. But all I could think about is how funny she would have thought it was that he remembered it that way. Until death do us part, right? It was also comforting to know, that even though they had not spent much time together, there was still a connection between them…and, I would kind of like to believe she had some influence in that moment to put a new perspective on how I felt about her passing.

My grandmother had seen many tough times. I am not sure it was more than anyone else gets handed or not but, she had an amazing way of laughing it off and enjoying the moment. I know that people will often think that I laugh at inappropriate times or view things in a warped way but, I don’t care. It is my opinion that people take things far too seriously and don’t appreciate the humor in the situation.

But truly, almost anything can be funny. I know sometimes it is hard to see it on your own. Fortunately, I have three children that are able to deliver the message or point it out to me when I need a little help.

Beth Cordova is mom to Gus (8), Brynn (6) and Rae (3). She grew up in Tecumseh, lives with her husband, Adam, in Lawrence and is an agent with Farm Bureau Financial Services.

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suggestions from the librarians at the Lawrence Public Library

Season’s Readings

1 Dragons Love Tacos by Adam Rubin

Explores the love dragons have for tacos, and the dangers of feeding them anything with spicy salsa. If you want to lure a bunch of dragons to your party, you should definitely serve tacos. But if a dragon accidentally eats spicy salsa . . . oh, boy.

2 Chloe by Peter McCarty

Chloe Bunny lives with her big family of ten older brothers and sisters and ten younger brothers and sisters, but it is only Chloe who is able to compete with the new television set that Dad brings home one evening.

3 Where’s Walrus? by Stephen Salvage

A wordless picture book that follows Walrus on a happy chase through the big city, as he tries on different hats to disguise himself, bamboozling the zookeeper, but not the reader.

4 Happy Pig Day! by Mo Willems

How many extremely cute Elephant & Piggie books can there be?

No limit apparently. In this one, Piggie celebrates her favorite day of the year, but Gerald the elephant is sad, thinking that he cannot join the fun, not being a pig. As in every title, friendship and kindness are the message, with lively expressive illustrations.

5 Fancy Nancy by Jane O’Connor

Many fans don’t know that there is a whole line of FN easy readers, featuring the Nancy we have come to love, with the frilly bedroom, lace trimmed socks, and sparkles. For beginning readers.

6 The Cabinet of Wonders by Marie Rutkoski

Petra has a pet tin spider named Astrophil who likes to hide in her snarled hair and give her advice. Her best friend can trap lightning inside a glass sphere. Petra also has a father in faraway Prague who is able to move metal with his mind. In a world of Harry Potter spinoffs, this is fresh and engaging, appealing to 8 years and up.

7 Mr. & Mrs. Bunny - Detectives Extraodinare!

by Polly Horvath

8 One for the Murphys by Lydia Mullay Hunt

Carley is sent to live with a foster family. The loving, bustling Murphys show Carley the stable family life she didn’t know existed, and she feels like an alien. Then, her mother wants her back and Carley has to decide where to live. A good read for around 4th grade and up.

9 The Strange Case of Origami Yoda by Tom Angleberger

Sixth-grader Tommy and his friends alternate chapters describing their different interactions with a paper finger puppet of Yoda, worn by their weird classmate Dwight. Is it possible that his paper thingee can actually predict the future?

10 Babymouse for President by Jennifer Holm

A Cupcake in every locker! It’s election season and if anyone knows what this country, er, what the student council needs, it’s Babymouse. Remember, a vote for Babymouse is a vote for cupcakes!

Babymouse for President is no. 16 in the Babymouse series, but who’s counting?

11 Cardboard by Doug TenNapel

Cam’s down-and-out father gives him a cardboard box for his birthday and he knows it’s the worst present ever. So to make the best of a bad situation, they bend the cardboard into a man-and to their astonishment, it comes to life. But the neighborhood bully, Marcus, warps the powerful cardboard into his own evil creations that threaten to destroy them all.

12 Moonbird: a year on the Wind with the great survivor B95 by Phillip Hoose

He’s called “Moonbird” because, over a lifespan of twenty years, he’s flown some 325,000 miles, the distance to the moon and almost halfway back. Hoose follows researchers into the field, explaining the amazing trip the red knots make, the methods of netting and banding, and the thrill of finding B95 again. Full-page photos and maps. For 4th grade to adult, but could be read aloud to younger listeners.

Middle-schooler Madeline’s hippy parents have been kidnapped by foxes. Madeline meets two rabbits who have recently taken up detective work. Funny!

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5

tips to spend more time together

by Jennifer Powers

Life in our household is rich and full and sometimes crazy. Three kids in school all day, two working parents, activities and personal time make our daily lives really busy. We have had to get creative in order to maximize our togetherness during the evenings and weekends. As a whole, families in our society are starved for time together. Most working parents wish they had more time with their children and most children wish they had more time, with MORE FOCUSED parents (Ellen Galinsky, Mind in the Making). In our family, it is really important to stay connected to one another. As our children grow older, I know that keeping these bonds strong is only going to be more imperative. Here are five ideas to try if your family time is feeling fragmented.

1

Norman Rockwell Freedom From Want

The Family Meal. Try to find one meal a day where everyone

sits down together. At our house, this meal is dinner. Many evenings, we are all in the kitchen together preparing the food, setting the table and conversing about the day. Once the meal is ready, all family members are required to sit at the table, at the same time, no tv, no iPods, no video games, no books. The time allows us the opportunity to share highs and lows of the day, upcoming activities and plans, and reconnect after a day apart. The family meal provides a time for children to observe table manners and customs that prepare them for dining out or at a friend’s house. The conversation lets them know that they are a vital part of the family unit. There are so many benefits to eating together it is just silly not to do this. Recent research shows that kids who dine with their families on a regular basis have less incidents of depression, drug use and obesity. Sitting down together once a day means no one family member would have a chance to slip into any negative behaviors unnoticed. Children who eat with their families do better in school, have healthier relationships with others and higher self-esteem. I recommend a great cook book, with more tips than recipes really, called The Family Dinner by Laurie David.

And don’t be distressed, if a family dinner is impossible because of work or a daily commitment, the same benefits can be achieved with a family breakfast or lunch. Consistency and togetherness are the important components.

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2 Lighten the Schedule

It is tempting to enroll kids in lots of extracurricular activities.

We somehow have developed an ideal that our children need many different hobbies and sports teams to make them wellrounded, stimulated and ready to apply for college. Kids today really need down time! And you need less time driving them around from one activity to the next!

Children from preschool on up are taking in their surroundings, learning new concepts each day and trying to incorporate the new information into their lives. This takes processing time! If a child who has just learned all about Alaska at school is rushed off to tennis and then Karate and then home for homework, he isn’t allowed any time to just sit down and “think” about, or discuss what he has learned.

At our home, each child is allowed to choose one extracurricular activity for the semester. When children are younger, they might try different classes or teams each semester. As they get older and really find activities that they enjoy and where they excel, kids will stick to the same activity.

In 2007, the American Academy of Pediatrics found that children who have free time have better imaginations, more dexterity,improved brain development and emotional intelligence. Kids need to ride their bikes and sit in the grass. All of this creative play and healthy exercise for the body and mind isn’t happening if a child has multiple activities during the week.

Freeing up the schedule also allows more time with the family, which is really the goal with which we started!

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3 Create Traditions

Children love to have something to which they can look forward. Try to come up with one weekly activity that involves the whole family. Think of something fun or special that everyone can look forward to doing together. If you are really pressed for time, your tradition can revolve around an activity that is going to happen regardless, like meal time or bedtime.

At our house, we have Sunday Soup Night. We discuss during the week what kind of soup might be good to eat or fun to make on the upcoming Sunday. It is such a simple thing that sort of developed by accident. I realized it had become a tradition my children looked forward to one Sunday when we didn’t have soup. The girls were so disappointed and not so much about the soup. Even though they liked the meal we were having, I had broken from the expected ritual. It had become something they counted on, looked forward to and expected. It was just a fun little family thing. You could try waffle Wednesdays if mornings are easy for you or Taco Tuesdays.

Your tradition does not have to revolve around food or a meal.

Try planning a family game night or a movie night that happens every Friday or Saturday evening. You could develop a tradition of reading the Sunday newspaper together in your pjs with hot chocolate. Think of an activity that your family enjoys doing together and make it a habit. It will become very dear to your children and endear them to you and the memories.

4 Snuggle

Easy and simple. Children need affection and your time, eye contact and interest. This meets those needs in a single moment.

When time is tight, it is easy to rush in the door from work and school, start scrambling around to make dinner and get homework accomplished. What if instead, we took just a few minutes, and pulled a child into our arms or on our lap and held them. Think about smelling her hair and the softness of his skin. I promise your child will melt onto your shoulder. From a child’s perspective these few moments where mommy or daddy is looking into their eyes, no Iphone or emails as distractions, make them feel so cherished. As a teacher of young children, parents complain to me all of the time that their kids never tell them what they did at school. If you snuggle your child and really be in that moment, your child will share some details of their day.

While this can be a time for sharing, it isn’t meant to be a time for asking questions. A fellow teacher and mother of two once told me she had “rocking chair time” when her kids got home from school. She would spend a few minutes holding and talking quietly to each one in the rocking chair. She did this even as they got into elementary school and looks back on that time fondly. A Jr. High kid is probably not going to sit on your lap, but have a few moments to sit next to each other on the couch and reconnect after a day apart. Just minutes from your day can strengthen your relationships and show them that you will always make time in your busy day for them.

5 No TV During the Week

We instituted a no television during the school week rule when my oldest daughter began elementary school. It is now our policy across the board with all of the girls.

Watching television is a sedentary, isolating pastime, there is just no way around it. Even if you are watching a program with another person, conversation and interaction are limited. The average American child, ages 6-11, watches about 28 hours of TV per week (American Academy of Pediatrics). That is 28 or so additional hours of time you could spend with your child.

Instead of letting your child zone out alone in front of the box while you get ready for work or make dinner, encourage your child to converse with you, help you prepare the meal, just join in with what ever activity you are doing. In days gone by, (think Little House on the Prairie) kids helped their parents with everything. They were together all of the time! Ditch TV time and instead include your children in your daily life. It might take a little longer to get things done and it will definitely be messier, but if you’re looking for more time with your kids, cutting out television is a easy way to grab a few extra hours. Your kids will thank you for it in the long run.

Jennifer Powers is a mother of three girls and an early childhood educator at Raintree Montessori.

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The

Ballard Center For 48 years, The Ballard Center has provided a high quality, affordable early education program and essential basic life assistance for Lawrence families in need​​.

by Megan Stuke photos Tara Nelson

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he doors to The Ballard Center, 708 Elm Street in North T Lawrence, are unlocked from 7:00 am to 5:30 pm. Those doors open and close constantly – so much so that employees of Ballard joke that revolving doors might be a better option. Douglas County residents of all ages travel through those doors all day long in order to receive the myriad of services and assistance the people of Ballard Community Services offer. From daycare to food assistance to social work support, Ballard provides essential supports to those who need it.

Dianne Ensminger, CEO of Ballard Community Services, has been at Ballard since 1999 “It was the philosophy, the mission, the board and our children - not necessarily in that order - that drew me to the job,” says Ensminger. “I have stayed for the same reasons. Our families and our children are so important to me and to the community and I have just never felt that my job was quite ‘finished’ in regard to representing and taking care of them.” cont.

It’s not a glamorous job, and it’s not a high-paying one either. The original Ballard Center is not a fancy building, and it’s not high tech, but it is a building full of hope and promise.

The people who work at the three Ballard Community Services locations do it because it is a labor of love. They do it because the need is great and their hearts are big.

“I have worked at Ballard for almost six years,” says Brianca Patton, a teacher of two-year-olds. “I am in love with each and every child,” says Patton, who values the diversity, challenges, and rewards that Ballard represents. “The strides we have made together are priceless,” she says.

The Ballard Center, located a block east of Woodlawn Elementary School, has been serving the community’s children for 31 years. What began as a project to assist low-income families with child care has become, over the years, a community agency cont.

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with a broad mission to assist the working poor, children, families, and the elderly of Douglas County. The mission of Ballard Community services, specifically, is to be a “Non-profit organization that provides a high quality, affordable early education program and essential basic life assistance to families and individuals in need.”

The original Elizabeth B. Ballard Center still provides child care to the community on a sliding scale based on family size and income, but that is far from all the Ballard Center does. The Center strives to serve the “whole child” which means providing services to families as well as children.

Ballard now provides a food pantry that is open to the entire community. Clients can avail themselves of free diapers, formula, clothes and other childcare necessities. Parents with children in Ballard’s childcare program can avail themselves of the center’s Family Connections Coordinator, who serves families by providing home visits, referrals to other local agencies, and all manner of support from assistance with paperwork to providing “Parents Night Out” once a quarter.

In order to further serve the Lawrence community, Ballard merged with the already-existing Penn House in 2005. Penn House, aptly named for its location at 11th and Pennsylvania, has been serving Lawrencians since 1969. Penn House also has a food pantry, as well as the “Suitable For Work” program, which provides career-oriented clothing to individuals transitioning back to the workforce. Penn House also coordinates a school kits program for kids who need the appropriate supplies at back-to-school time, and many other human services

programs such as holiday meals, Adopt-a-Family, and rent and utility assistance.

In 2007, Ballard Community Services merged with what was then called Brook Creek Learning Center. Now called Mt. Hope, this childcare center is located close to LMH, across the street from the Holidome. Mt. Hope’s tuition is approximately 30 percent less than that of other local chilcare centers, and families there also can access of all of Ballard’s services, including the Family Connections Coordinator.

Ballard’s vision continues to evolve, and the doors continue to open. In May of 2008, Ballard Community Services purchased a property near Lawrence Memorial Hospital and is currently in the process of generating funds to build a new, state-of-the-art facility on that site. The new site will be specifically designed to provide childcare for local businesses, including the employees of LMH. Barry Richards, COO, knows how vital Ballard to the community, and believes in building a better Ballard. While he and the staff at Ballard continue to serve their mission, they are constantly looking for ways to extend and improve their services.

“Ballard’s role in the community is ever-changing,” he says.

“We look forward to leading the way to develop new innovative programs to help people become more self-sufficient, while being steadfast on the importance of early education and our children.”

LK

35

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S a v t e W he h a l e s

The Art of Impe rfect Parenting

by Craig Cox reprinted, with permission, from Utne Reader

Ariel Gore’s daughter is a cheerleader. Make that captain of the cheerleading squad at her school.

For most moms that might be a source of pride. But for the 32-year-old Gore, punk priestess of riot grrrls everywhere and publisher of the radical mothering zine Hip Mama, it is more than a little mortifying.

“I hadn’t been to a football game since I was, like, 3 years old,” says Gore from her Portland, Oregon, home. But the other day, she drove over to the school like every other dutiful parent to watch 13-year-old Maia help cheer the boys on to victory. When she tells me the story I can sense it was a disconcerting experience; and as a parent myself, I know what she means.

“My daughter is totally mainstream right now,” she sighs.

cont.

39

“Changing the world may not be about raising revolutionaries at all.

It may be more about raising the kinds of kids who are strong enough to break their parents’ hearts.”

It is, of course, completely unremarkable for children to rebel against their parents. I did it. You did it. It’s just the way things are. But it can be particularly devastating for parents intent on raising their children with a well-honed social consciousness.

To many of them, the future of the planet hinges on their performance as parents—their ability to raise a good revolutionary.

“If this country continues on its current trajectory,” says Gore, “we’re going to need a lot more revolutionaries—from leaders and organizers to people who are simply ready and able to say no when asked to conform to something that goes against their humanity.”

Parents hoping to provide reinforcements for the war against imperialism and injustice, however, may find it is not just a tall order, but one that may be completely counterproductive. In fact, changing the world may not be about raising revolutionaries at all. It may be more about raising the kinds of kids who are strong enough to break their parents’ hearts.

Jim and Susan Vogt know a lot about raising kids. The Covington, Kentucky, couple have four of their own and offer tips to other parents through a program called Parenting for Peace and Justice. And yet, paging through Susan’s book, Raising Kids Who Will Make a Difference, I can’t help wondering whether as parents they’re just as clueless as the rest of us.

The Vogt household is a paragon of progressive parenting strategies: family meetings, strict limits on TV and junk food, patient modeling of environmental and social consciousness, regular field trips to soup kitchens and other community service opportunities. “To a great extent, raising children who will

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contribute to society in positive ways involves helping them to find themselves and to like what they find,” Susan writes.

But to read her kids’ responses to some of the stuff Mom and Dad put them through, you’d think not much of it has stuck.

One evening, for instance, they showed up at the kitchen table with a “Family Pledge of Nonviolence” and asked each of their children to read and sign it.

“It seemed like just another one of the hokey things our family did, like the prayer chain during Advent, or the family meetings that always seemed to run around in circles before we finally came back to the starting point,” writes Dacian, who was 17 at the time. He refused to sign, because the pledge didn’t reflect his reality. “If your friends are going to a movie that has violent content, standing up and denouncing them for their evil ways isn’t going to get you anything.”

Then there was the volunteer work in the local soup kitchen, which daughter Heidi called “a chore” and her brother Brian said didn’t leave much of an impression.

None of the Vogt kids enjoyed going to church on Sundays (Jim and Susan are heavily involved in the local Catholic parish), nor did they comply eagerly with the limits on TV viewing or the regular exhortations to recycle or take the bus or talk about important issues around the dinner table. They were, in other words, like most kids - searching for an identity, pressing against parental boundaries, finding their own way. And as Susan Vogt freely admits, not even the most conscientious parent can shape a child’s future completely.

“We can’t make our kids care,” she writes. “We can’t pour cont.

“If you’re modeling the environment, they will learn those qualities you want them to learn.

Then educate them when they’re in junior high and high school. Tell them the truth, or as much as they can handle.”

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into them a social conscience. But we can put before them prompts and possibilities that will increase their odds. Our efforts won’t be perfect, and they won’t always work, but we will have tried, and that’s all we can do. The rest is up to them.”

Books like Vogt’s are filled with prescriptions for raising kids who will make their parents proud, like modeling compassion and empathy, teaching self-respect, and setting boundaries.

And as challenging as it is to aspire to these values and offer them to your kids, I think it’s way more challenging to know when to drop them from your parenting repertoire.

Take the issue of guns and violence. In our old neighborhood, where my daughter, Nora, and son, Martin, spent their first 10 and 8 years, respectively, disarmament was the rule. No toy guns were allowed on the premises. It became sort of a neighborhood joke that when you came over to our house you had to leave your squirt guns and plastic Uzis on the sidewalk.

Five years ago, when we had finally outgrown our tiny twobedroom bungalow and moved to a larger house in a less exciting neighborhood, gun control was less of an issue. My wife, Sharon, and I discovered the pacifist stance we had inculcated in our son was a lot less durable than we thought, and Martin was soon lobbying for an expanded arsenal of weapons (he had been content until then with fashioning small revolvers and derringers from Legos). We backed away hesitantly from our nonproliferation treaty; with the agreement that guns shouldn’t be pointed at anyone, and soon all manner of weapons began infiltrating our home while spirited armed skirmishes began breaking out in the yard. The war, we soon realized, had been

lost.

But I’m not sure it was such a bad thing that Martin was able to change our minds. It didn’t come about through strategically planned tantrums or through a long-term program of low-level whining. He’d basically made the case that running around with play guns was no longer a big deal. He knew the difference between real and pretend violence. And, eventually, so did we.

Nora and I had a similar revelation earlier this year, when she announced her interest in seeing Eminem’s movie, 8 Mile.

Reviews of this film had incited a firestorm of debate over its violence, sexual content, and liberal use of the F-word, and we had maintained a pretty rigid policy on what movies and TV shows were considered acceptable viewing.

And as Nora and I faced off in the kitchen that evening, I could sense the first twinges of teenage independence pulling at her - and me. I told her about the reviews of the movie, and stubbornly argued that we shouldn’t be supporting artists and production companies who spread degrading images of women and rappers through the mass culture, and how this sort of thing debases even the viewers, and yadda, yadda, yadda . . .

Even as I was making the argument, though, I knew it was lame.

And so did Nora.

We let it drop for the evening, and the next day I happened to ask a colleague about the movie. The reviews were overblown, she told me; it really wasn’t that bad. So Nora and I negotiated further and came to a compromise. We agreed not to shell out $7.50 apiece to see something that might be stupid (at least to my way of thinking) and would wait until it came to our cont.

43

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nearby second-run theater. Then we’d see it together and talk about the stuff all the reviewers were saying was so dangerous to the morals of America.

And so we did. It wasn’t the best film I’d ever seen, but it wasn’t bad. And it turned out there wasn’t even that much to talk about. The sex stuff, we agreed, was pretty gratuitous, and the violence said a lot about Eminem’s particular neurosis. And the language? We agreed that after the first five minutes or so (in which conjugations of the f-word are firmly established as the film’s central communication vehicle) you could pretty much ignore it.

The point here is not that the kids got their way or that the parents practiced the art of noble compromise. It’s that certain values (honest debate) can sometimes be honored even as other values (pop culture purity) are shredded. We want our kids to have their own convictions and be able to defend them in a way that respects other people’s opinions but doesn’t discount their own. They don’t win many of these arguments with us, but when they do, I can’t help thinking we’ve all learned something.

Bee Lavender takes a similar approach with her two children.

The 32-year-old writer/activist, who’s working on a book about raising kids to be political dissidents, says she has always stressed the importance of communicating with respect. Her 13-yearold daughter and 6-year-old son simply won’t get their way by whining. “Even if the kids dislike the approach at times, they truly do have exceptional negotiation skills,” she says. “I don’t mean to imply that they are perfect. They have gone through all the standard developmental stages; it is just that along the way, I have insisted that they communicate with words instead of tantrums.”

And this allows kids - and parents - a little more latitude in the way they approach the world, she adds. “When you act with diplomacy, you can afford to be more radical in the scope of your plans.”

Lavender, prefers that her kids avoid structured education, points to her daughter’s decision to attend public school as an example of a child making the case for change and following through with it - even when the parent doesn’t agree.

“While I fretted and worried about what to do, she went off and located a mentor to help her get the paperwork organized, found a ride, applied, and was accepted. She was about 9 years old at the time,” Lavender recalls. “I was shocked, but proud of her initiative and daring, and let her go. It would have been easier to say no and keep her home, but it was a better lesson for her to make the choice and accept the consequences.”

In a way, it’s about giving up your power as a parent (or at least deconstructing it), something most kids begin to demand by their preteen days and something most parents dread.

“Just trust them,” says Peggy O’Mara, editor of Mothering magazine and mother of four grown children. “If you’re modeling the environment, they will learn those qualities you want them to learn. Then educate them when they’re in junior high and high school. Tell them the truth, or as much as they can handle.”

Just don’t expect them to hew precisely to the path you’ve so carefully prepared for them. Teenaged Maia Gore doesn’t like being dragged to protest rallies anymore; O’Mara’s daughter

embraced the Nike swoosh as a teen, even after her mom told her about the sweatshops; Lavender’s kids won’t watch the news with her, for fear of yet another political lecture. (“When I get my knickers in a twist about current events, my daughter tells me to calm down.”) Heidi Vogt was a Peace Corps volunteer, but has serious doubts about her ability to effect change-a concern not uncommon among even the most activist parents. “If I were told I could save the world by sacrificing myself,” she writes, “I might just decide that the world wasn’t worth saving.”

And my kids -unschooled, organically fed and thrift-store clothed - exhibit no particular proclivity toward activism. Like most kids, they understand intuitively the concept of fairness (racism and homophobia never made any sense to them), but as much as they may understand on some level how screwy the world is, they seem to have no particular interest as yet in committing their lives to changing it.

But maybe the real issue is how we define the revolution we’re all so intent on making with our kids. It is, after all, convenient for moms and dads to extrapolate the goals of movements past to the social change possibilities of the future. It’s what we know, what we’re comfortable seeking. The next generation, however, may have a totally different idea of what tools and strategies can push the forces of injustice off the map (like, duh, the Internet).

And maybe we shouldn’t be so intent as parents to manufacture social change through our offspring at all. As Ariel Gore notes, it can be a painful business.

“Being radical often requires a radicalizing experience - and probably not a pleasant one,” she says. “The natural thing is to shelter our kids from painful experiences. There’s a conflict there.”

The conflict isn’t simply internal, either; it’s cultural and political as well. We live in a society that values children chiefly for their ability to consume and their potential as future compliant workers.

“Society mostly looks at kids’ deficits, not their strengths,” says O’Mara. “It’s a culture of crisis all the time; everything’s a problem. There’s not a lot of modeling of just trusting the way of things, just trusting them to be children.”

Changing those societal values is everyone’s job, O’Mara says.

It starts with raising healthy children, of course, but extends to teaching them civics, educating them about politics, encouraging them to vote.

“In this time particularly, we need to educate kids about democracy,” she says. “We need to stress civic education and media literacy.”

And we need to acknowledge that the experiences we share with our children don’t necessarily have to lead to some political outcome, says Gore.

“Ultimately, the utility of taking our kids to political protests, teaching them the history of feminism and social justice movements, teaching them how to think critically and doing our best to foster empathy and compassion is the same as teaching them to read,” she says. “We are giving them the basic life tools they will need, and will be able to build on later in life on an as-needed basis. These things are not a recipe for raising a revolutionary any more than teaching our kids to read is a recipe for raising a writer-or even an avid reader.”

LK

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Kids AND

poLitics What to say, when to say it and how to get them involved.

49

I

t has been said that politics is personal. In the years of a presidential elections, politics also becomes pervasive. Yard signs litter the side of the road. Television programs are interrupted by backhanded campaign commercials. Social Studies classes at elementary schools are teaching electoral math.

It is expected for children to become interested in the national conversation, but how do you ensure your child knows what she is talking about? Local experts weigh in on how and when to talk to your child about politics.

“The most important thing, I think, is to encourage them to think,” says Jamie Shew, Douglas County Clerk. “As soon as your son or daughter starts asking questions, use that interest to help develop critical thinking.”

As the county clerk, Shew knows a thing or two about the election process. He is in charge of ballots, voting sites and, most importantly, overseeing the process of actually counting votes.

“I might be a little more interested in voting than the average citizen in Lawrence,” Shew jokes.

Shew is a vocal advocate for an informed electorate, and he believes the sooner you engage your children in election conversation the better.

“It’s incredibly frustrating for me when young people don’t vote,” Shew said. “The 2008 election was the first in history where 18-24 year-olds were not the lowest voting demographic. President Obama’s campaign really engaged younger voters then, but I don’t think those numbers will hold in this year’s election.”

Rock the Vote is giving much credit for any increase in teen-

age and 20-something voters, but Shew points to the work of a local group when talking about educating elementary and middle school age kids about the electoral process.

“Kids Vote has done a great job working with schools to get kids engaged,” he says. “In my office we do everything we can to make the kids voting booths on election day as memorable for the kids. I also tell the volunteers, ‘take extra stickers!”

Kids Voting USA is a national organization working to increase children’s knowledge of and participation in the election process. The group gets students involved and ready to be educated, engaged citizens. Students learn about democracy through a combination of classroom activities, family dialogue and an authentic voting experience.

Ruthi Rapp has been the Lawrence Coordinator of Kids Vote Kansas since 1992. This year, the group began planning for the November election in June. Committees were formed the address the needs for organizing and funding the endeavor.

“We meet about once a week to discuss funding, progress and to stay organized,” Rapp says. “It really does take a great effort and the hard work of many volunteers to accomplish.”

Rapp said the Lawrence effort of Kids Voting needs about 300 volunteers to work polling cites across the city. The goal, she says, is to have a Kids Voting booth at every polling site.

“The goal of the entire program is create lifelong voters,” Rapp says. “Studies have shown that children that accompany their parents to the voting booth are much more likely to vote as adults. Additionally, parents with kids who are encourage with Kids Voting are also more likely to vote.”

Increase voting numbers is great, Rapp says, but the cont.

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real reward can be more immediate.

“When we see a child at the voting place and they are beaming because they are so excited, that’s what makes the work worth it,” Rapp says.

Shew agrees that feeding kids’ excitement to vote for the president is a positive thing. But Shew cites recent polling data as an opportunity to speak to kids about local influence.

“In the 2008 presidential election, Lawrence had about a 70% voter turnout, which is great,” Shew says. “However, in the City elections a few months later, voter turnout was around 17%.”

It’s easier to point to national candidates when speaking with your kids, Shew says, but it’s the local guys that can really affect their lives.

“My son is 8,” Shew explains. “A few months ago he began to complain that cars were speeding on the road outside our house. It was a great opportunity to discuss with him the Lawrence officials we could contact to voice our concerns. It was a great chance to show him that, yes the president is important, but it is our local officials that can have the most immediate impact on our lives.”

Lawrence City Commissioner Hugh Carter echoes Shews thoughts.

“Kids need to know that we listen,” Carter says emphatically.

“I can tell you from experience, if a kid comes to a city commission meeting, we make sure to let them speak. If any of us receive a letter from a kid, we make it a point to reply and address whatever concerns they may have. But it’s not just to kids.

When any citizens are engaged and passionate about an issue in Lawrence, the City Commissioners take note. Encouraging kids to be informed and involved will help them make a difference when they are adults.”

Carter says that speaking to your kids about how the political process works, on both a local and national scale, is important.

“The more kids understand, the better decisions they can make,” Carter says. “Lawrence is full of informed, impassioned voters. Kids may as well get ready to get involved.”

LK

No. 4

No. 3

No. 1

James Madison

Thomas Jefferson

George Washington

Interesting fact:

Interesting fact:

Interesting fact:

James Madison was the shortest president of the United States, standing at only 5’4”. He never weighed more than 100 pounds.

Jefferson was the author of the Declaration of Independence and the father of the University of Virginia.

George Washington is the only president to be unanimously elected. He also refused to accept his presidential salary, which was $25,000 a year.

No. 26

No. 16

No. 9

Theodore Roosevelt

Abraham Lincoln

William Harrison

Interesting fact:

Interesting fact:

Interesting fact:

“Teddy Bears” were so named when Theodore “Teddy” Roosevelt refused to shoot a small bear cub one day. The incident inspired a toy manufacture to come out with the stuffed animals.

Lincoln Logs are named after Abraham Lincoln and the log cabin where he was born. John Lloyd Wright, son of famous architect Francis Lloyd Wright, invented them.

William Henry Harrison holds the record for the longest inauguration speech at 8,578 words. Unfortunately, he gave the speech during bad weather and a month later, he was dead from pneumonia, making his the shortest presidency on record.

No. 41

No. 38

No. 28

George Bush

Gerald Ford

Woodrow Wilson

Interesting fact:

Interesting fact:

Interesting fact:

George Herbert Walker Bush is the only President with four names.

Gerald Ford worked as a model during college. He also worked as a forest ranger at Yellowstone National Park directing traffic and feeding the bears.

Woodrow Wilson was the first to show a motion picture in the White House: “The Birth of Nation,” which has become the most banned film in American history.

Lawrence Kids 5 Fall Must-Dos

Of course you will peep some leaves, bob for apples & cook a turkey, but before the snow flies, don’t forget to cross these 5 items off your must-do list.

1. VOTE what you need: a conscience your kids’ attention pride in America / Kansas knowledge of candidates clean shirt for cool sticker

2. HEAD TO

THE FLINT HILLS what you need: gas in the van map of Kansas juice and snacks Neil Young / M. Ward playlist comfortable shoes binoculars

Photo by Dave Leiker

3. KU FOOTBALL what you need: sunscreen tickets time to tailgate face paint passion cash for treats crimson and/or blue jacket

Photo by KU Athletics

4. MAKE A

HANDPRINT TURKEY what you need: 5 fingers (4 will work) paint paper markers snacks clothespins for drying

5. HELP SOMEONE what you need: a heart canned goods spare change used clothes a hand a smile

Reuse Lawrence Kids photos by Rebecca Dunn

Thanks for reading the Fall issue of Lawrence Kids.

Now, instead of just putting it down and walking away, use it for a fun art project!

We found this great use of magazine pages on Rebecca Dunn’s blog: www.sturdyforcommonthings.com. Dunn, a “fulltime stay-at-home-mom by day, part-time youth librarian by night and on weekends,” has pages and pages of creative ideas for seasonal fun. Almost all of her creations have reading suggestions that complement the topic.

1. Find an empty box, scrap paper, markers, glue and this magazine (maybe others too).

2. Use scrap paper and markers to fashion windows and a door.

3. Cut pictures from magazines to use in your house into a home.

4. Find some friends to occupy your home.

5. Make more than one and create an entire neighborhood!

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2.

3.

4.

5.

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