Teen's Quick Start Guide

an intro to foster care for young people

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Step-by-step: what you need to know NOW Famous people who spent time in foster care How other teens are making it Don’t get left out of the conversation

“From my past, I know first hand what young people in foster care are facing,” Jimmy says.

“Young people in this country should not be faced with that kind of situa�on.” When it comes to suppor�ng the cause, Jimmy walks the walk – literally. He walked half way across the country for project Meet Me Halfway to raise awareness of youth aging out of foster care. Read more at www.projectmmh.org.

Copyright © 2010, FosterClub, Inc. For information about reproduction or to place an order, call 503-717-1552.

For Jimmy Wayne, who has topped the charts with singles like "Do You Believe Me Now," Stay Gone," and "I Love You This Much," the opportunity to serve as the na�onal spokesperson for young people in foster care is personally significant. Jimmy grew up in foster care and speaks from personal experience about the importance of suppor�ng foster youth, par�cularly those who are forced to make it on their own when they turn 18 years old and support from the foster care system is cut off.

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INSIDE...

on the cover:

Alex (Colorado), Mercedes (Wisconsin), Eprise (Indiana), Juan (Missouri), and Alicia (Florida) are all young leaders of FosterClub.

connect 12 Who’s on your team?

24 Family ma�ers 29 Circle of support 31 About FosterClub

GET educated 6 The first 48 hours in foster care 8 Behind the Scenes: How foster care works 9 Journey through foster care 10 Frequently asked ques�on 16 Your rights 26 School daze

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now k u o y d Di download

You can ide m this gu pages fro .org, osterclub er at www.f th h lots of o ’ll along wit ou y on. Plus, informa� l a read re be able to foster care om stories fr ther ect with o n n o c and ople. young pe

be inspired 5 Meet other youth from foster care 15 From Foster to Famous 28 Ge�ng the feelings out 30 Next steps

represented 8 Belongings I’d

like to have in foster care 14 Speaking up 18 What’s the plan?

20 My foster care plan 22 See ya in court

why this guide?

We believe every young person in foster care deserves to have a basic understanding of the foster care system, knowledge about their rights, opportuni�es to par�cipate in their foster care plan and an opportunity to connect with peers who are experiencing similar challenges. A�er all - who knows be�er what your current life and future should look like than YOU?

3

We get it...

We’re young leaders from FosterClub and we understand foster care. We know what it’s like because we’ve been right where you are. And while being in foster care has it’s fair share of challenges, we’re here to tell you that YOU CAN MAKE IT. You might even find out that you can use your story and your experiences to inspire other young people going through similar challenges. Our advice to you:

keep your head up!

spent 12 years in foster care in Nevada and Utah

luis

spent 4 years in foster care in California

tasha 4

kita

spent 7 years in foster care in New York

Read about us, along with the stories of other young people from foster care, on www.fosterclub.org.

spent 7 years in foster care in Michigan

tobias

The First 48

Entering foster care can feel a li�le like a tornado hit your life. The first days can be par�cularly confusing: new home, new people, confused emo�ons, paperwork, and more.

The following comic gives an idea of what the first 48 hours are like for Sam and Krystal.

I can’t believe this is happening to me…

We need to go to my office.

Then we’ll locate a temporary place for you to stay.

I wonder where we’ll live?

Where are you taking us?”

Sam and Krystal go to the Foster Care Agency...

What will the people be like?

Will my sister and I stay together?

I’ve found a nice foster family for you and your sister to stay with for a while.

Sam and Krystal arrive at their foster home...

Con�nued on the next page >

Welcome – let me show you around.

5

How am I supposed to sleep in a place that I don’t know? How am I supposed to sleep with all of this chaos?

When will I be going back to school? My friends are going to wonder what happened to me.

Your caseworker is going to be coming over to talk with you today. I think tomorrow would be a good day to go back to school.

Hey – my name’s John. I heard you were going to move in last night… I’ve lived here for about three months.

You go to Sunset High School?

Nah – I go to Westview... they let me stay in the same school when I moved here.

You probably have a lot of questions. I’ll do my best to answer them.

I have a hundred questions.

Maybe more.

We’re working on some things with your mom to make sure things are safe at home for you both.

When will we get to see my mom?

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There are things I need I like our foster home, but from my house – I forgot there are some things I want some of my school books from our old apartment.

In fact, here’s my business card.

You can call me when you have questions or if there’s something you need.

Log on to www.fosterclub.com and hear from other youth who are entering foster care.

Share your story and ask ques�ons on the FosterClub message boards.

my stuff

It’s not unusual to hear stories of young people having just a few minutes to pack the stuff they’ll take to foster care. Here’ a checklist to help you organize what you’ll need now. Ask your caseworker to help you get other items later.

Belongings I would like to have in foster care Clothing

Very Would important be nice to me to have

__________________________________ __________________________________ __________________________________

Personal / Grooming

Keep it safe for me

Not so important

Don’t forget: Photos Address book Books Journal Fave blanket or stuffed animal Music

__________________________________ __________________________________ __________________________________

Keepsakes __________________________________ __________________________________ __________________________________

Electronics __________________________________ __________________________________ __________________________________

School related __________________________________ __________________________________ __________________________________

Other __________________________________

QUESTION

I was told I couldn’t bring my TV with me. What’s up with that?

Some items can’t be brought into foster care - o�en because it may not be known if the foster home you’ll go to will allow it. Even if you have an item that you can’t take with you immediately, put it on your list... you may be able to get it later, once you’ve se�led in at a foster home.

__________________________________ __________________________________

7

Behind The Scenes

s k r o W m e t s y S How the

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It is a law that parents must take good care of their children.

When a child is no longer safe or healthy in their family home, people from a government agency in charge of the welfare of children can take over. They remove the child from the unhealthy or dangerous home and place them in a temporary “for a-while” home that is safe and healthy.

This placement is called “foster care”. If this has happened to you, it can be a very emo�onal �me. It is natural to have many different, some�mes confusing feelings. These emo�ons are normal and OK to have. Talk to someone you trust about how you are feeling.

QUESTION

Why do young people go into foster care?

Here are some reasons children go into foster care: 1. Parents or caretakers are not able to keep children safe.

2. Children have experienced physical, sexual, and /or emo�onal abuse at home.

3. The parent or guardian has died or is too sick to care for children.

4. There has been a family crisis like big conflicts between family members.

5. The parent or caretaker is unable to control a youth’s behavior.

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Did you know

Every two min utes, a young perso n enters foster care somewhere in the United States .

Who is responsible for me now?

Every state has an agency, or department, that is responsible for making sure that children are not harmed in their own home. The Agency is a part of your state government, o�en called Department of Health and Human Services (DHHS) or Department of Human Services (DHS). Some states also have county government with similar agencies that report to the state agency. Some�mes other agencies called “private agencies” are hired by your state to help look a�er foster youth, too.

The important thing to remember is this: The Agency is hired by the ci�zens of your state for one reason: to help children. Your caseworker, who works for the Agency, has one job: to work for the good of you and the other foster childen. Your caseworker works for you! (Some�mes it may not seem like it, but give them a chance—your caseworker is on your side.)

What does “ward of the court” mean?

The law says that every minor (children and youth under age 18) must have an adult or adults who care for them and take responsibility for them. When the agency finds out a young person is in danger, the situa�on is inves�gated and may lead to the child being removed from the home. The caseworker then goes to court to tell a judge about problems in the home. If the judge decides that the child is unsafe, the court takes responsibility for the child, and the child becomes a “ward” of the court.

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Did you know

journey through foster care ����������

If you are in foster care, your case will be heard in court at some point. In most states, you have the right to be there and be heard.

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(evidence exists that allegation may be true)

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������������ ����������� Court decides placement ������� for child ��������������� ������������� ����������

Placements may include: Foster home Group home Shelter Residential facility Treatment Center Kinship / Relative home Transitional living program

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Court decides plan for child

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Changes are made and/or Court is satisfied that it is safe to return child home

The Court determines foster care is still neccessary

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������������������ May include services: drug/alcohol treatment counseling housing mental health employment services

������ �������� ������������ ������������ Depending on Parental rights the state, Court assigns an must be young people adult responsibility terminated by leave foster for young person. the court before care between Parental rights do a child is free for age 18 and 23 not need to be adoption terminated

Find defini�ons for the words listed here (and more) on fosterclub.com

9

n I entered “I was only 9 whe I didn’t know foster care and on.” what was going ia, BigB from Georg age 16

Now that I’m going into foster care, what’s going to happen?

First, you will be assigned to a caseworker. This Agency person, some�mes called a social worker, has the duty to be sure you are well taken care of and will help you find a safe place to live as soon as possible. Start talking with your caseworker right away about the reasons you are going into foster care.

It’s a good idea to let your caseworker know your thoughts, like wan�ng to stay in your same neighborhood or school.

Together you decide what changes need to be made and set up a plan for making these changes.

“I was only 9 when I entered foster care and I didn’t know what was going on. My sister started to cry but I didn’t. I wanted to be there for my sister during this time, so I didn’t show fear or cry.”

FosterClub member “BigB” from Georgia, age 16, in foster care more than 3 years

g to live?

Where am I goin short e you stay is a ac pl t rs fi e th , Usually l your e or shelter unti time foster hom a more long term up ne li n ca r e rk casewo care Most children in . e v li to u o y r place fo nt who ith a foster pare w e m ho r e st fo go to a youth by rture a child or nu d an lp he to wants e listed ther options ar O . e m ho ir e th sharing page. on the opposite

“My first day in foster care (a shelter) was a mix of emo�ons for me, but primarily I was sc ared.”

Li�le Debbie from Nebraska, age 24

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“I went from a home with no rules to a foster home with very strict rules. No going out till I was 16 was a hard rule for me to deal with, especially when all my friends were going out.

Now at almost 23 years old, I look back and am glad I had such strict rules because I find now that it has helped me be more responsible.”

FosterClub member, “cowgirl” from Nebraska, age 22, in foster care more than three years

mad, “I can admit I was d. But I confused, relieve being love the feeling of abuse.” away from all the ornia, Angell from Calif age 14

“I can admit I was mad, confused, relieved. But I love the feeling of being away from all the abuse.”

Angell age 14 California in foster care more than 3 years

“On my first day in foster care I was wonder ing, why? Why me? W hy now? WHY? I felt like a part of me le�.”

IDK from Californi a, age 15

What do I call my foster parents? Some youth call foster parents ‘mom’ and ‘dad’, some don’t. What is most important is that you and your foster parents are both comfortable with the names you decide on.

Talk to them about it and come up with what works best for you and your foster family.

types of foster homes Family Foster Home A private home where a young person in foster care lives. This home is the most family-like se�ng available to youth who are removed from their biological home.

The home is usually limited to a total of 6 children under the age of 18, including the foster family’s biological children.

Some�mes, your foster home can be with a rela�ve, which is called kinship care.

Therapeu�c Foster Home This foster home gives special care to youth with behavioral or emothional needs.

The foster family gets special training and support to help a young person deal with problems they might be having.

Group Home/Residen�al Facility This is a licensed facility with 24-hour staff which provides care for youth.

This placement provides individualized treatment for youth such as psychiatric consulta�on, group and individual therapy sessions.

Shelter A home or facility that provides care for youth in crisis on a short-term basis.

You are not alone. Today, there are about half a million kids in foster care in the United States.*

Diagnos�c Facility Short-term placement that provides medical, educa�onal, psychiatric, psychological and substance (drugs and/ or alcohol) abuse evalua�ons and family assessments.

Transi�onal Living Program This program is available some�mes to youth who are ge�ng ready for living on their own. The program teaches a great deal of life skills and helps you set and follow goals (for your educa�on, work, and rela�onships...). These programs help youth get ready for life on their own as adults.

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n o s ’ o h W your team?

(and who helps with what?)

Below are some people you might be working with while you’re in foster care. See if you can matc h the job (in white text) up to the things they will help you with (green text) by drawing lines to connect the two. Check your answers with your caseworker or foste r parent.

caseworker or social worker Catching up on Doctor and Den�st visits Arranging sports and extra-curricular ac�vi�es Documen�ng what’s going on (called “keeping a case file”)

name: phone: email:

Helping you succeed in school

foster parents name: phone: email:

Providing a place to live attorney

name: phone: email:

Providing an $ allowance

CASA or GAL Working through tough emo�ons

Deciding where you’ll be staying Planning for the future with me (called a “case plan”)

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Sor�ng out legal issues

name: phone: email:

counselor or therapist

Arranging visits with family members Providing help to family members so they can get on track Paying for needed items

name: phone: email:

mentor and other supportive adults name: phone: email:

Bonus challenge: Try to fill in the name and phone number for each of your team members

What exactly is the caseworkers (or social workers) job?

It is your caseworker’s job to become the overall coordinator of your case plan. They listen to what you have to say about your case plan. They work with many people and groups, check out places for you to live, are always mindful of the laws in your state about foster care and follow the instruc�ons of the court.

A caseworker can be the key to ge�ng things you want or need.

They are full of valuable informa�on. They know who you must talk to if you want to get things changed. They know where to get stuff. And even though they might seem grumpy some�mes, the reason they became a caseworker or social worker in the first place was to help out children and youth like you.

How o�en can I expect to see my caseworker?

Every state has different requirements on how o�en a caseworker must meet with their clients (foster kids) face-to-face. Usually, visits take place at least every 30 days. Children in permanent foster care may not meet with caseworkers for an even longer �me. When you are first in foster care it is not unusual to see your caseworker (or social worker) a lot. And, just like at school where you like some teachers and others you don’t, you’ll find the same is true with caseworkers.

You’ll probably like some and not others. The thing to remember, though, is that your caseworker can hold the “key” to making your life in foster care be�er, so try to create a good rela�onship with them.

“With most of my other families it was the hardest to get used to all the different rules because they changed every house I was at and I found myself asking for them to be VERY specific...”

FosterClub member “jenspaz” from Michigan, age 20, in foster care more than three years

Brandon spent 10 years in foster care in Missouri Check it o ut: you’ve got enough pe ople on y our team to p lay a gam e of hoops.

We wouldn ’t suggest it , though! ;)

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Speaking Up Do I have any say in what happens to me while I am in foster care?

It’s very important that you take part in planning for your future.

On page 20, you’ll find “My Foster Care Case Plan” to help you express your ideas. If you want help filling it out, ask your case worker, foster parent, guardian, or another trusted adult.

Who is making decisions about what is happening in my life?

Usually, your caseworker tells you about plans, so it may seem like he or she has all the say about your life. But your caseworker is not the one making all the decisions.

There is a whole “team” working to decide what is best for you, including a�orneys, a judge, CASA or GAL, counselors, foster parents, the Agency, bio parents, and rela�ves. It is important for you to become part of the “team”, also.

Can I par�cipate in mee�ngs where decisions are made about me?

Most states allow youth to go to these mee�ngs when they reach a certain age. Speak to your caseworker about a�ending mee�ngs regarding your Foster Care Case Plan. O�en the mee�ng are held during school hours, so you may have to miss some school to a�end these mee�ngs. Discuss this with your caseworker and foster parents.

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“Am I the only one?”

Lots of young people who have been through foster care say that it felt like they were the only person to be going through the experience. But on any given day, there are about half a million young people in foster care across the United States. Some are from poor families and some are from rich, some are Caucasian while others are African American or Hispanic, some are ow Did you kn babies and some According to an organiza�on are teens... In other called Foster Care Alumni of words, young people America, there are over 12 in foster care are million people in the USA who just regular kids who have experienced foster care. happen to have a family crisis going on. And there are even plenty of famous people who spent �me in foster care as kids!

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word search

How many of the famous people shown at right can you find in the puzzle below? Find the answers on page 30.

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Each of these famous people spent �me in foster care! Read their bios and see more famous people at www.fosterclub.com.

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s t h g i r r u Yo 1

To know your rights in foster care, to receive a list of those rights in wri�en form and to know how to file a complaint if your rights are being violated.

The rights for youth in foster care may be different in each state.

FosterClub put together the following list of rights based on rights for youth in foster care across the country.

Ask your caseworker about your rights in your state. If you think your rights are being violated, contact a caseworker, attorney, CASA or foster parent immediately.

6 7

2 3 4

To be told why you came into foster care and why you are s�ll in foster care.

To live in a safe and healthy home where treated with respect, with your own place to store your things and where you receive healthy food, adequate clothing, and appropriate personal hygiene products.

5

To have personal belongings secure and transported with you.

To be placed in a home with your brothers and sisters when possible, and to maintain regular and unrestricted contact with siblings when separated (including help with transporta�on), unless ordered by the court.

To a�end school and par�cipate in extracurricular, cultural, and personal enrichment ac�vi�es.

9 16

As a youth in foster care, you have the right*:

8

To have caring foster parents or caretakers who are properly trained, have received background checks and screenings, and who receive adequate support form the Agency to help ensure stability in the placement.

To have your privacy protected. You can expect confiden�ality from the adults involved in your case.

To be protected from physical, sexual, emo�onal or other abuse, including corporal punishment (hi�ng or spanking as a punishment) and being locked in a room (unless you are in a treatment facility).

10 11

To receive medical, dental, vision and mental health services.

To refuse to take medica�ons, vitamins or herbs, unless prescribed by a doctor.

12

To have an immediate visit a�er placement and have regular visits with biological parents and other rela�ves unless prohibited by court or unless you don’t want to.

13 15

14

To have regular contact from and unrestricted access to social workers, a�orneys, and advocates and to be allowed to have confiden�al conversa�ons with such individuals.

To be told by your social worker and your a�orney about any changes in your case plan or placement and receive honest informa�on about the decisions the Agency is making that affect your life.

16 17

To make and receive confiden�al telephone calls and send and receive unopened mail, unless prohibited by court order.

To a�end religious services and ac�vi�es of your choice and to preserve your cultural heritage.

If possible your placement should be with a family member or someone from your community with similar religion, culture and/or heritage.

To be represented by an a�orney at law in administra�ve or judicial proceedings with access to fair hearing and court review of decisions, so that your best interests are safeguarded.

20

18

“I was in foster care from 18 months old until I graduated from high school at 18. My best advice is to get the phone numbers of your caseworker and their supervisor(s). If they don’t contact you, contact them. Let them know you are interested in what is going on in YOUR life. You are more than a case file. You are a person and you matter. To all foster kids, stay strong. You are somebody!”

FosterClub member “Mickey” from Texas, age 20, in foster care 17 years

To be involved, where appropriate, in the development of your case plan and to object to any of the provisions of the case plan during case reviews, court hearings and case planning conferences.

19

To a�end court and speak to a judge about what you want to have happen in your case.

To have a plan for your future, including an emancipa�on plan if appropriate (for leaving foster care when you become an adult), and to be provided services to help you prepare to become a successful adult.

*Unless restricted by law or otherwise restricted by the court. Rights have been assembled by and are the opinion of FosterClub and are not intended to provide legal notice.

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what’s n a l p e th

JJ spent 4 years in foster care in Michigan

What is a Case Plan?

A plan is put together to figure out how you can return home or find another good place for you to live. The plan is put together by you, your caseworker and a team of others, then the court reviews it. If your goal in foster care is reunifica�on with your family then your Case Plan will probably list what needs to change at home before this can happen (for instance, drug or alcohol counseling or paren�ng classes). You and your team may decide that adop�on is the best plan for you. For older youth, the case plan may be to stay in foster care un�l you are legally an adult.

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Do I have a say in my Case Plan?

It is very important that you speak up about your foster care case plan. The form we have provided at the end of this chapter can help you organize your thoughts and let everyone know your ideas. Make copies of the form and give it to: your caseworker, foster parents, a�orney, GAL or CASA, judge at your hearings, and yourself. If you want even more input, ask your caseworker if you can be involved in mee�ngs where your case plan is being discussed. You may also ask to be included in all court hearings.

What is “Permanency”?

Permanency refers to the goal of finding a longterm, or permanent living plan for you. Foster care is meant to be a temporary solu�on to the problems you were experiencing at home. Everyone knows how difficult it is to live a healthy, happy life when you are in a home for the short-term and don’t know what to expect day to day. Your caseworker, the Agency, your a�orney, and others are working for “permanency” for you, coming up with a living situa�on you can count on. If you have ideas about who you would like to live with, you should let your caseworker and other team members know.

What is “TPR”?

TPR stands for “Termina�on of Parental Rights”, meaning that bio parents don’t have a legal rela�onship to the child anymore. It is important to terminate parental rights when a child is to be adopted by another family. TPR may also take place if reunifica�on seems to be impossible or if bio parents are a danger to a child. Only a judge in court can decide to TPR.

“I consider permanency to be a life long relationship with an adult and consider it very important. In my experiences I have just met adults that seem to stay in my life and that connection with them helps me to succeed in life.”

Caliguy94037, Age 20, CA in foster care more than 3 years.

Who decides my Case Plan?

A judge makes the final decision about your plan. But since the judge doesn’t usually know you or your family personally, they usually rely on the Agency report, what your caseworker recommends, input from your bioparent’s a�orney, and informa�on from your foster parents. To speak up for you there may be a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate), a GAL (Guardian Ad Litum), or an a�orney appointed by the court. And remember, it’s important that you speak up for yourself, too!

19

20 Phone

Method:

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

Name / rela�onship

In-person

Phone Email

Visita�on with family or other important people: I would like to have visits with How o�en: Weekly Monthly Yearly

________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________

This is why:

fosteplrancare

I have ____ brothers and _____ sisters It is important to me that I be put in the same home that they are in It is not very important to me that I am in the same home

Family connections

I believe the best plan for me is: Reunifica�on (return to my family) Kinship placement (live with a rela�ve) Stay in foster care Adop�on by my foster family Adop�on by another family Unsure

The best plan for me

My name is ______________________ and I would like to have a say about what happens to me while I am in foster care. I am _____ years old. Please take my opinions into considera�on when you are crea�ng a plan for me. If you are not able to meet any of my wishes expressed below, please inform me and explain why.

my foster care plan

my Use this form to express your opinions about what would happen in your foster care case.

If you have a problem figuring out how to deliver this form to the right person, talk to your foster parent, guardian, caseworker, teacher or a counselor and ask them to help you. These people usually have access to a copy machine.

Keep a copy for your own records.

Message to suppor�ve adults: Please give this ma�er your full a�ene�on. This young person is asking for your assistance. This form is published by FosterClub, the na�onal network for young people in foster care. This form may be copied and distributed.

Signed: _____________________________________ Date: _________________

I promise the I have provided on this form is true to the best of my knowledge.

signature

______________________________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________________________

what I need from the foster care agency or my caseworker

______________________________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________________________

You should know the following: ____________________________________________________________________

About my foster home

______________________________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________________________

What you should know about things at my bio-family’s home:

Share this form with your caseworker, judge, a�orney, CASA or GAL, or other suppor�ve adults involved in your foster care case.

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see ya in court Will I have to go to court?

All foster care cases go to court at some point — so don’t take the fact that you have been asked to a�end a court hearing to mean that you’ve done anything wrong. Usually, the court hearing is about your foster care plan. Generally speaking, you have the right to be in court. If you don’t wish to a�end court, be sure your caseworker knows what you want to have happen and tells you what occurred at the court hearing. You might even want to consider pu�ng your wishes in a le�er or e-mail, asking your caseworker to deliver to the Judge (or use the form on the previous page). You should let your caseworker, a�orney and the court know about your wishes about appearing in court.

Do I have an a�orney? How do I contact him or her?

Your caseworker can provide you with the name and number of your a�orney. Your foster parent may also be able to help you get in touch with your lawyer (“lawyer” and “a�orney” are the same thing).

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Why do we go to court?

Going to court (which means talking about your foster care plan with a judge) shows you and your parents and other family members how serious your state is about trea�ng children well. When children are involved, there are a lot of emo�ons and disagreements about the best plan. The judge is specially trained to make decisions regarding families and foster care and will make a decision based on what’s best for you. The judge listens to the facts and everyone’s recommenda�ons, then decides on the plan, which offers you the safest, and best care. The judge is also very interested in what you have to say, so a�end all court hearings if possible.

What if I don’t understand all this legal stuff going on?

Don’t worry. It’s confusing to most people. Lawyers go to school for many years a�er college just to figure it all out. You are not expected to understand all the details of what is happening legally in your life. But it is important to ask ques�ons if there is anything you do wish to understand. If you don’t get it the first �me it is explained, then don’t be afraid to ask again un�l you have it figured out.

What should I wear to court?

It is important to look and act respectful when you go to court. Why is it important? Well, you want the adults in the courtroom to listen to what you say and take you seriously. You need to show every one that you care and are mature enough to realize when things are serious. One way to show this maturity is by how you dress.

A suit and tie may not be necessary for guys, but dirty old jeans and a ripped t-shirt are too casual. What you wear should be clean and unwrinkled.

“When I fi rst came in to the sys that were tem at 14, working on some of th m y e case wo c a se tried to when I ha rkers d a right to keep me o ut of the c be there. say at the A o ls u r o they didn t room caseplans ’t listen to . I had to p w old enough h a u t t I an end to had to and mature this. I beli enough to e v going on in e t h a k t now and ha I was my life. So ve a say in I spoke up point, bec w h a t . w Loud and c as ause now lear. I thin I’m at eve k matter ho t h r e y y a g p ot the pointment w miniscule that involv it is. I thin they know e s m k e t . No hat even if how their a foster y life should for them. o u t b h e is g overned. T young, So, my poin hey know t is, don’t “go with t w h a b lo t ’s w best off court he flow” o dates or c f what you right to ma a s e r p c la a n s e manager s, or ke goals in wants. You your own li stupid goa h a v f e e . I see too the ls on their many kids caseplans they didn’t w h t o h a h t a ve don’t mean make them a thing to . You will n yourself. t h e e m v e b e r reach a g cause Get involv oal you do ed with yo n’t set ur life and make it rig — “Jessica ht.” ”, foster y outh

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Family Matters Relationsh ips with fa mily particularly parents can be tough for any teen.

But when foster car e is involv ed, things can get ev en more ta ngled up and compli cated.

Sharde spent 12 years in foster care in Indiana

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When I’m in foster care, will I be able to see my family?

If you want to see your family, you will be able to see them when it seems safe to do so. Visi�ng �mes will be set up so that you can be together. Some�mes, children and youth aren’t comfortable seeing their parents right away. Others want to see parents as soon as possible. Be sure your caseworker knows how you feel about visits.

Together you can make a plan that feels right for you.

What is my parent required to do before I can go back and live with them?

Some�mes the judge and the Agency put a plan together that your bio parent must follow for reunifica�on (in order for you to return to their home). What they are required to do will depend on your family’s situa�on. Some things they may be required to do: • Go through drug or alcohol rehab • A�end paren�ng classes • Find employment • Find suitable housing • Take anger management classes • Terminate an abusive rela�onship • Maintain sobriety for an amount of �me • Receive counseling • Receive psychological or other tes�ng Whether or not your parent chooses to follow the plan is up to them.

What if my parent never shapes up?

Your foster care plan will change if your parent does not make the changes that are being required by the Agency.

You may go to live with a rela�ve, you might stay in foster care, or you could be adopted. You should have input regarding this decision. If this is a concern, talk to your caseworker and ask them to discuss the op�ons with you.

decision s g n i t e e m

keeping connected to siblings A majority of the young people who enter foster care have brothers and sisters.

Unfortunately, it’s a foster care fact that siblings o�en are separated during their stay in the system.

Fortunately, new federal laws require that foster care agencies do a be�er job at keeping siblings together.

If you are separated from your siblings, talk to your caseworker, a�orney, CASA, and mentors about how you can be placed together. At the very least, find out how you can maintain regular contact through in-person visits, telephone calls and e-mail.

Lots of foster care agencies use these mee�ngs to pull everyone to the table and discuss what’s going on. Some�mes they are called Family Decision Mee�ngs, or they might be called Team Decision Mee�ngs... but if you think your family would benefit from something like this, ask your Caseworker to help arrange one. And be sure to par�ciapte!

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School Daze Do I have to switch schools if I move?

Some�mes it is impossible to keep you in the same school when you move to a new foster home. New laws make it a priority for schools and foster care agencies to arrange transporta�on so that you can stay at your old school, if possible. If you want to remain in your same school, talk to your caseworker about it. If you would prefer to move to a new school, give that informa�on to your caseworker, too. er “Being in fost k in the al w no care has been if things ow kn t park but I don’ same orked out the would have w me to ed w lo al en. It has r if I had not be that I can bette go to college so r tte be sure myself a e myself and en th te ia ec s me to appr future. It allow ” e. or m ion value of educat uth Carolina.

So , 20 e ag , th —Fai ster care 18 years in fo

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o ney t r es mo he provid ay for hig ol. m a r p g o o h lp r c p e s h nal ETV care to ocatio hafee er The C from fost llege or v o h c yout ion, like t educa

“School was my escape.

I fo acceptan und freedom, ce and s elf wort in my ed h ucation.

Howeve every tim r, e I w as force move, I d to lo my abilit st more and mo re of y to kee p up in s —Kayla chool.” , age 18 , Minn 9 years in foster esota. care

The kids at school constantly make fun of me. How can I make them stop?

Youth seem to pick on other kids when it looks like the teasing is bothering them.

It might be really difficult, but some�mes the best solu�on to teasing is to pretend like you don’t care, or even laugh along with them. That way, when they see that it isn’t bothering you, they’ll get bored and find something else to do. If the teasing reaches a level where you are being pushed, hurt, or threatened, you should seek help immediately from a teacher, foster parent, counselor, or coach. Some�mes you need to ask more than one person for help.

“There were a lot of things that w ere out of m y control in m y life— like where I would live, w hat school I would go to and ev en who my fa mily would be. B ut I could co ntrol my grades and ho w well I did in my educatio n.”

—Isha, age 23 , Oregon.

15 years in fo ster care

What do I do if I’m afraid I’m failing at school?

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Students who usually do the best in school have had help from parents with homework since they were in kindergarten. The situa�on is some�mes different for many foster youth, who may fall behind in school for reasons out of their control. Some of these reasons might be missed school days, medical problems, switching schools a lot, learning disabili�es, distrac�ng events at home, abuse and more. It is no wonder that many foster children have a hard �me keeping up with school!

Even if you have a lot of support from your foster parents now, it can be very frustra�ng to try to catch up in school once you have fallen behind. Also, many young people feel embarrassed that they are behind. The best thing to do to avoid failing is to ask for a mee�ng including your foster parent, teachers, school counselor, caseworker and CASA or GAL. Discuss the best methods to support your efforts to catch up in school. Perhaps your schedule can be rearranged so it is easier to manage, or maybe tutoring is available. If you have a job, maybe you’ll need to cut back on your hours, or add a couple of “study hall” periods at school to give you extra �me to catch up.

Remember that help is available if you ask for it. Ge�ng an educa�on is your right and responsibility and it is worth figh�ng for. If you’ve fallen behind, speak up.

are en foster c “I have be as five w t a th s 13, so since I wa I say since (or should r in high years now I’m a senio w o N ). e d I got over 7th gra ’s because it d n a and l o o sch foster care at I was in th h I’m t g c u o fa th e th at, even th e v ro p n I can’t decided to oesn’t mea .” d , re a c r e yself in fost ething of m make som ge a , 8 1 e b —cosmoba a foster c re 18, NJ. in 5 years more than

QUESTION Can I go to college?

Anyone, foster youth included, can a�end college or post-high school voca�onal training if they meet the admissions requirements and have available funding. Each college, university or voca�onal program sets their own requirements for admission and tui�on.

Financial assistance is available to students through a combina�on of grants, scholarships and loans. All states have some financial assistance available for foster youth. Check with your caseworker to find out what is available in your state and for informa�on about how to apply.

What is an IEP? IEP is short for Individualized Educa�on Plan, and refers to a special law for students with disabili�es. An IEP is a plan that outlines special programs and services to help students succeed in school. If you need special services, the school will set up mee�ngs which include teachers, care providers, social workers, your caseworker and other people working to help meet your school goals. Some�mes you take tests (they’re easy) at school with psychologists to find out where you are educa�onally. All this happens to set you up with an IEP that will help you succeed.

Can I par�cipate in planning my IEP? Yes. Students should be invited to par�cipate in their own IEP planning beginning no later than age 14, and younger when appropriate. Make sure you team with adults you trust who can help you advocate for the educa�onal services you need.

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Why does being in foster care upset my emo�ons so much, and how do I learn to live with it?

Moving away from family and everything you are used to, and then moving in with strangers is a very big deal. It’s going to affect your emo�ons, no ques�on about it. Ge�ng used to change takes �me and the kinds of changes you need to make are some�mes really hard. Stay in contact with people who are important to you, even though you are living in a new place. You might also learn to rely on others to help you, such as your new foster parents or a new friend at school. This is a difficult �me for you. Don’t try to do it alone.

Are there people I can talk to about my problems?

Many youth talk to their friends about their problems.

Another good choice is your foster parent. Other good listeners are teachers and school counselors. You can talk to your caseworker about your problems by calling them or making an appointment to talk to them. If you have a CASA or GAL, they are available to help with problems.

Many people choose to discuss problems with a minister or priest or religious advisor. Depending on your problem, you may want to speak with your doctor, a�orney, counselor or therapist. Remember, there are many people who want to help you.

Why do I have to see a therapist?

Your mental health is as important as your physical health. As a foster youth, you may have experienced many difficult, sad, or scary things. It can be very helpful to discuss experiences and problems with someone who is trained to understand how human emo�ons work. Talking to a therapist does not mean that you are “crazy” or that there is something “wrong” with you. It is just the opposite. Talking to a therapist shows that you are strong and capable enough to deal with your problems.

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Getting the Feelings Out

FRIENDS

Circle of Support OTHERS WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED FOSTER CARE

FAMILY MEMBERS Who’s on your VIP (Very Important Person) list? Who will you turn to for advice? Try to think of people in each of these categories...

TEACHERS, COACHES (and other people at school)

PROFESSIONALS (Doctors, therapists, etc.)

MENTORS (Adults I look up to)

a Sheren Jojo s r e b m ), lub me ar (Montana ri) C r e t s Fo hyl sou ia), Sc n (Mis peers (Georg ia) and Jua eir rn . om th (Califo d support fr er care, too t n s fi o each en in f ave be h o h w

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Editor: Celeste Bodner Illustration: Denise Tuhy Production support: Meagan Wendt, Gina Simone

Copyright © 2010 FosterClub, Inc.

ISBN 9780979116247. Content is property of FosterClub. Published by FosterClub, 753 First Avenue, Seaside, Oregon 97138.

Printed in the U.S.A.

next steps Once things se�le down, you might want to take a look at some of these ways to make the best of foster care...

Acknowledgments Thanks to members of the Oregon Children’s Justice Act Task Force for their collaboration on this project. Their diverse expertise assisted us in creating a Teen Guide to help children during a dif�icult time in their lives. We would like to recognize the following agency representatives: Juvenile Court Improvement Program, Oregon Judicial Department

The Children’s Center of Clackamas County Columbia County District Attorney’s Of�ice Department of Public Safety Standards and Training

Gevurtz, Menashe, Larson & Howe, PC

Hood River County District Attorney’s Of�ice

ZED GET ORGANI Get a binder and start your own foster care workbook.

Keep track of what happens during visits with your caseworker, in court, and at school.

Jackson County Circuit Court Oregon Commission on Children and Families

Oregon Department of Human Services: Child Protective Services Program, Foster Care Program, Family Based Services Program, Addictions and Mental Health, Of�ice of Investigations & Training Oregon Foster Parent Association Oregon Judicial Department

30

Oregon State Police

message to Supportive adults Pages from this guide can be downloaded from www.fosterclub.org, along with a companion guide for suppor�ve adults. Proceeds from sales of this guide benefit foster youth through FosterClub, the na�onal network for young people in foster care. Contact FosterClub at 503-717-1552 for ordering informa�on.

Join ILP

dependent Each state has an In me�mes Living Program (so es you access called an ILP). It giv d services. to lots of support an include life These services o�en finding a job, skills classes, help help finding money for school, help with an apartment and en you live living expenses wh your state on your own. Visit lub.org rc page at www.foste ndent Living and find the Indepe ur state.

Coordinator for yo

Like this Guide and want more of the same?

Check out FosterClub’s Foster Care 411, 180 pages packed with ques�ons and answers about foster care, foster to famous stories, and more! Order your copy by visi�ng www.fosterclub.org or calling 503-717-1552.

answers to the word search on page 15:

Jojo was in foster care in California

find a youth board Young people from foster care are joining together to improve the foster care system for other young people. Find a youth board near you by visi�ng fosterclub.org or asking your Independent Living Program.

About FosterClub FosterClub is the na�onal network of young people in foster care. Our mission is to improve life for young people in foster care through a na�onal network that is built for youth, powered by youth, and changing life in foster care. We believe that young people in and from foster care deserve to be connected, educated, inspired and represented. The members of FosterClub are resilient young people determined to build a be�er future for themselves and for other kids coming up through the system behind them. We thank you for suppor�ng children and youth in foster care.

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$3.95 US

For order information, contact FosterClub at 503-717-1552 or visit www.fosterclub.org

Naomi spent 10 years in foster care in New York

Cashmere spent 18 years in foster care in Minnesota

Mike spent 11 years in foster care in Connec�cut

This guide has been developed to: • Provide an introduction to foster care and decrease anxiety and fears about entering care • Empower young people to ask questions and provide supportive adults with youth-friendly answers • Offer conversation-starters to help improve communication between youth and supportive adults during a traumatic time

at Join us onlineom fosterclub.c !

FosterClub is the n at i o n a l n et wo r k fo r yo u n g p e o p l e i n fo ste r ca re

For approximately half a million children living in foster care across the country, childhood has been interrupted with abuse, neglect or abandonment. FosterClub is their club, a place to turn for advice, information, and hope. Visit www.fosterclub.org

Copyright © 2010 FosterClub, Inc. ISBN 9780979116230. Published by FosterClub, 753 First Avenue, Seaside, Oregon 97138. Printed in the U.S.A.