Fort Worth Weekly Classifieds // April 19-25, 2023

BOOKS

Confederacy of Suns

Local author M.R. Koch’s Halfway to Impossible harks back to the literary past for a captivating portrait of the aughts.

BY E.R. BILLS

How many literary references does it take to screw in a light bulb?

That’s easy. Less than it takes to screw up a book review.

The main character, Max, is very Yossarian, and local author M.R. Koch’s debut novel, Halfway to Impossible, is deceptively Orrwellian.

No, I did not misspell “Orrwellian.” Not exactly. Because Orr is Yossarian’s tentmate in Joseph Heller’s 1961 satirical war novel Catch 22. “Orwellian” chiefly refers to George Orwell’s dystopian masterwork, 1984, but Orwell’s real name was Eric Blair. “Orrwellian” is my convenient upgrade to “Orwellian,” a categorization conjured in my mind after an inspired reading of Halfway to Impossible.

“Orrwellian,” in Heller’s words, is descriptive of “a warm-hearted, simple-minded gnome.” A gnome is a diminutive, mythological being introduced by Paracelsus in the 16th century in tales of Renaissance magic and alchemy. In any circle of friends, the Orrs are the true believers, and, if you’re lucky, the heedless strivers or dreamers. Heller’s Orr is a WWII American B-25 pilot who prostitutes beat over the head with a shoe and whose bombers

crash repeatedly — but he insists his bombardier tentmate Yossarian should fly with him. Yossarian thinks Orr’s crazy, while he — Yossarian — simultaneously feigns craziness to escape increased bombing missions and return home.

M.R. Koch’s Orr is Max’s friend, Sam. Sam has latched onto a transient, effervescent young woman that he beats himself over the head about and keeps crashing New Orleans to consummate his fascination with.

Though Halfway to Impossible never mentions Catch 22, it does mention Hemingway’s The Sun Also Rises on a few occasions, and at the halfway point to impossible, Max meets his own version of Hemingway’s Brett Ashley — though he treats her with less conclusive fatalism than Hem.

Hemingway’s Jake Barnes may not be able to consummate or elevate the necessary appendage to consummate

his romantic relations due to a war wound, but the titular sentiment is sound. The sun also (or still) rises, and life goes on.

At the end of Catch 22, Orr escapes the war after another crash-landing in the Mediterranean and a paddle to freedom in a life raft. He’d had a fantastical plan all along, and Yossarian’s skepticism costs him his escape. But Max and Sam are not characters from a time when Americans had faith in “good” wars or even the nation they fought for. As a more assertive, somewhat Yossarianesque character in Chuck Palahniuk’s Fight Club notes, “We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war. Our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact.”

This is the backdrop of the landscape that Koch’s Max and Sam navigate. The sun still rises, but it offers much less luster for the male and female traversers of the aughts than it offered for their grand- and great-grandparents, making too many sunrises seem little more than lost causes. Koch flips Heller, as his Orr succumbs to gnomic naivete, and his Yossarian emerges not completely Orrwellian but hopeful, and more realistic, in Orwellian times.

Koch’s prose is richly descriptive and features refreshing lexiconic challenges in places, drawing you into a world where young men still raise their lances against the normal obstructions that deny their paths to Shangri La. The development and conveyance of the female characters, especially Caroline, Brett and Electra, are all compelling, insightful, and familiar. Koch is a keen observer, and if you were ever young and worldly, or even young and half-sober in a bar or nightclub in or around the dawn of the 21st century, you will probably recognize some of these people and feel nostalgic. There were Hemingway and Helleresque characters trying to make and understand their way. The nonlinear tale features succinct verisimilitude and ends like an ode to the humanity of American youth as they resign themselves to a dubious adulthood, punctuated by gain and loss, and loss and gain — the see-saw outlook of our present reality. But Koch’s Max is wiser and still tilting. I think Hem, Heller, and Blair would all be proud.

If my own existence and experiences didn’t resemble those of some of the characters in Halfway to Impossible in so many engaging ways, I’d clamor for a sequel, but I wonder if I’m not living it already.

It’s certainly pretty to think so. l

Halfway to Impossible by M.R. Koch REaDLips Press $13.99 215 pps.

EARTH DAY

Make Some Planet Friendly Plans With Your Kids

Promotional Feature

Concerned about the environment and inspired by the Vietnam War protests across the country in 1970, the then junior senator Geylor Nelson organized a “teach-in” on college campuses to shed light on environmental responsibility and help change the public’s attitude. According to HowLifeUnfolds.com, for maximum student participation, his team chose April 22 as the date, as it fell between Spring Break and final exams. And so began Earth Day.

From celebrity young people like Greta Thunberg of Sweden to the girl next door, Earth Day is still relevant to students some 50 years later. So, how do you involve your kids? Here are some ideas for this Saturday.

Every Day is Earth Day at the Thrift Store

Celebrate Earth Day this year by donating and browsing at your local thrift store, where sustainability is automatically in play. By donating unwanted items and by thrift shopping yourself, you are giving goods a second life and helping the planet. At Goodwill, you’re also supporting educational career training programs that help local people in need. Before you head to Forest Faire, have the kids clean their rooms and pull a few toys they no longer play with. Take them to your local Goodwill to make a donation, and maybe pick out something cool (and affordable) to purchase inside.

How About a Trip to the Museum

Before or after your forest adventure, take the young earth-conscience person in your life on a visit to the Fort Worth

Museum of Science (1600 Gendy St, 817255-9300), where fellow environmentalists will gather to learn about and support the importance of long-term ecological sustainability from 10am to 4pm. Adult admission (ages 12-64) is $16, junior and senior admission (ages 3-11 and 65+) is $14, and children (ages 0-2) get in free. For more info, visit FWMuseum.org.

Attend the Forest Faire

at Treetops

Whether you’re looking for a new school for your nature-loving little

ones or just an activity for Earth Day afternoon, head to the Treetops School International (12500 S Pipeline Rd, 817-283-1771) 11am-2pm Sat for the annual Spring Forest Faire. “We use the natural environment of our school campus to celebrate Spring,” says teacher Julie Rose. “The school carnival idea was transformed to fit our students and our focus on education and celebration through nature.” As it is a carnival-style event, activities and snacks will be procured using tickets which can be purchased for 50 cents apiece. There is no admission cost to attend.

About School Enrollment at Treetops

At Treetops School International, the mission is to inspire students to climb to new heights in service, character, and education by creating a positive, safe community. If this philosophy appeals to you and your kids, you might consider fall enrollment. But first, you will need to attend at least one in-person tour before your child is placed in the lottery for the next school year (upon completion of the paperwork, of course). The final campus tour of the spring is 9am-10:15am on Wed, May 17. To reserve a spot, call 817-283-1771 today.

CLASSIFIEDS

CLASSIFIEDS bulletin board

DENTAL INSURANCE

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LIFE INSURANCE

Up to $15,000.00 of GUARANTEED

LEAF FILTER

Eliminate gutter cleaning forever with LeafFilter, the most advanced debrisblocking gutter protection. Schedule a FREE LeafFilter estimate today. Ask about 20% off entire purchase. Plus, 10% senior and military discounts available. Call 1-877-689-1687.

MIND / BODY / SPIRIT

Gateway Church

BUY/SELL/TRADE

DEFIANT ARMS

Haltom City’s only true gun shop is ready to help you with accessories, ammo and more. Visit us at 5200 Denton Hwy (817-393-7738) or online at: Defiant-Arms.com

DORRANCE PUBLISHING

Book manuscript submissions currently being reviewed. Comprehensive services include consultation, production, promotion and distribution. Call for your FREE Author`s Guide or visit DorranceInfo.com/FTWorth today. 1-866-256-0940

RUSTIC FURNITURE

HEADQUARTERS!

Unclaimed Freight has financing, layaway, delivery, and 5 locations in Tarrant County to serve you. For more info, visit: MyUnclaimedFreight.com

EMPLOYMENT

Hysen’s Nizza Pizza is Now Hiring!

Nizza is seeking a counter person, delivery drivers, and wait staff. Apply in person at 401 University Drive, FWTX, 817-877-3900. (Open Sun-Thu 11am-10pm and Fri-Sat 10:30am-11pm.) HysensNizzaPizza.com

UNCLAIMED FREIGHT

We are hiring for Sales at all locations. To apply, please call: 817-277-1516

EMPLOYMENT NOTICES

Companies Offering

Travel Accommodations:

According to the New York Times, the following companies have said they would cover travel expenses for employees who need abortions: Airbnb, DoorDash, JP Morgan Chase, Levi Strauss & Co, Netflix, Patagonia, Reddit, Starbucks, Tesla, and Yelp.

Additionally, NowThis has listed the following companies also offering the same assistance to employees: Amazon, Apple, BuzzFeed, Citigroup, Comcast, Dick’s Sporting Goods, Lyft, Mastercard, Meta, Microsoft, Paramount, Sony, Tesla, Walt Disney Co, Vox Media, and Zillow. (JMB, FWW)

HEALTH & WELLNESS

Cardiovascular Disease & Stroke

These are leading causes of death, according to the American Heart Association. Screenings can provide peace of mind or early detection!

Contact Life Line Screening to schedule your screening.

Special Offer: 5 Screenings for $149! Call today! 1-833-636-1757

Life Insurance! No medical exam or health questions. Cash to help pay funeral and other final expenses. Visit Life55Plus.info/FTWorth or call Physicians Life Insurance Company today! 844-782-2870

Planned Parenthood Of Greater Texas

We’re not going anywhere. We know you may be feeling a lot of things right now, but we are here with you and we will not stop fighting for YOU. See 6 ways you can join the #BansOffOurBodies fight on FB @PPGreaterTX. For more info, go to: PPGreaterTX.org

HOME RESOURCES

DIRECTV

Get DIRECTV for $64.99/mo for 12 months with CHOICE Package. Save an additional $120 over 1st year. First 3 months of HBO Max, Cinemax, Showtime, Starz and Epix included!

Directv is #1 in Customer Satisfaction (JD Power & Assoc.) Some restrictions apply. Call 1-855-966-0520.

DIRECTV Stream

Carries the Most Local MLB Games!

CHOICE Package, $89.99/mo for 12 months. Stream on 20 devices in your home at once. HBO Max included for 3 mos (w/CHOICE Package or higher.) No annual contract, no hidden fees! Some restrictions apply. Call IVS at 1-855-810-7635.

DISH Network

Get 190 Channels for $59.99! Blazing Fast Internet, $19.99/mo (where available). Switch and get a FREE $100 Visa Gift Card. FREE Voice Remote. FREE HD DVR. FREE Streaming on ALL Devices. Call 1-855-701-3027 today!

EARTHLINK

Highspeed Internet

Big Savings with Unlimited Data!

Fiberoptic Technology up to 1gbps with customizable plan. Call 855-767-0515 today!

ERIE Metal Roofs

Replace your roof with the best looking and longest lasting material steel from Erie! Three styles and multiple colors available. Guaranteed to last a lifetime!

Limited Time Offer: $500 Discount + Additional 10% Off Install (for military, health workers & first responders.) Call 1-888-778-0566.

GENERAC GENERATORS

Prepare for power outages today with a home standby generator. No money down. Low monthly payment options. Call for a FREE quote before the next power outage. 1-844-887-3143

Church time is the BEST time! Join us for online church each weekend. Online services start at 4 pm on Saturdays and are available to watch any time after at https://gway.ch/GatewayPeople.

Hannah in Hurst

817.590.2257

Massage Therapy for pain relief, deep relaxation, and better sleep. Professional office in Mid-Cities for over 25 years. “I am accepting new clients now and happy to return your call.” -Hannah, MT#4797.

MUSIC XCHANGE

Music Junkie Studios

1617 Park Place #106, FWTX www.MusicJunkieStudios.com

We offer lessons on voice, piano, guitar, bass, ukulele, violin, viola, drums, recording, and music for littles!

EMP STUDIOS

Musician-owned rehearsal and recording studios in Arlington and Fort Worth. Onsite screenprinting, merchandising services, recording, mixing, and mastering. For more info, visit: EMPStudiosTX.com

PET ADOPTIONS

PUPPIES!

A Rottie Rescue has puppies available for adoption! Thor, Odin and Loki are 8 week old males, 16 lbs each. Adopters outside of Texas must arrange and pay for transport costs. For questions or an adoption application, please email: Info@ARottieRescue.com

PUBLIC NOTICES

TDLR Complaints

Any Texans who may be concerned that an unlicensed massage business may be in operation near them, or believe nail salon employees may be human trafficking victims, may now report those concerns directly to the Texas Department of Licensing and Regulation (TDLR) by emailing ReportHT@TDLR.Texas.gov.

SUBMISSIONS

We’d Like To Hear From You!

Do you have thoughts and feelings, or questions, comments or concerns about something you read in the Weekly? Please email Question@fwweekly.com. Do you have an upcoming event? For potential coverage in Night & Day, Big Ticket, Ate Day8 A Week, or CrosstownSounds, email the details to Marketing@fwweekly.com

ADVERTISE HERE!

817-987-7689 | Stacey@fwweekly.com

CATTLE BARN FLEA MARKET

EVERY Sat & Sun 9-5 Indoors

See Dealers Juanita, Leonard, Dean, Billy, Robert, Jon, Christina, Jim and Earl at 4445 River Oaks Blvd

EMPLOYMENT

CHIP SPREADER OPERATOR WANTED: Road construction crew. Paid health insurance and other benefits. Per Diem. EOE. 830 833-4547

EMPLOYMENT

Now Hiring CDL Drivers Hazmat tanker Preferred, Laborers and Equipment Operators. Health Insurance and other benefits. Per diem paid. EOE. 830-833-4547

The Gas Pipe, The GAS PIPE, THE GAS PIPE, your Peace Love & Smoke Headquarters since 4/20/1970! SCORE a FREE GIFT on YOUR Birthday, FREE Scale Tuning and Lighter Refills on GAS PIPE goods, FREE Layaway, and all the safe, helpful service you expect from a 51 Years Young Joint. Plus, SCORE A FREE CBD HOLIDAZE GIFT With-A-Buy thru 12/31! Be Safe, Party Clean, Keep On Truckin’. More at thegaspipe.net

LEGAL NOTICE

To: Carlos Chavez

Morales

You are hereby notified that a Complaint has been filed in the Circuit Court for Howard County, Case No.: C-I3FM-22-001094. You shall file a written response. A copy of the Complaint may be obtained from the clerk’s office at 9250 Judicial Way, Ellicott City, MD 21043 and 410-313-2111. You have until 30 days following the latest publication to file a response.

PUBLIC NOTICE

ExteNet Systems, Inc is proposing to install 1 new metal pole in order to accommodate small cell equipment at 721 Ryan Plaza Dr, Arlington, Tarrant County, TX. Public comments regarding potential effects from this project on historic properties may be submitted within 30-days from the date of this publication to: BEC, 8300 Douglas Ave, Ste 800, Dallas, TX 75225, 214-888-6965, or dustin@becenviro.com. Please refer to the address and 8911-23 when submitting comments. PurePleasureMassage.com

Run Down, Worn Out, Fed Up?

You need a massage from Hannah in Hurst (MT4797)! Call 817.590.2257 (no texts, please)