TANGIBLE SUPPORT

by JEAN MARIE JOHNSON

It was the week between Christmas and New Year’s – my birthday, as well. My husband was hospitalized with mysterious neurological complications from COVID, and, just to add to the mix, my heat was out.

What can I do to help?

I’m okay, really. No, seriously, I want to help. Well, keep me and my guy in your prayers. Of course, but I want at least one TANGIBLE way to help.

I learned a lot from my dear, wise friend, “SH” that day. She made me realize that while so many of us genuinely care, we often don’t know how best to extend and deliver on that care in tangible ways.

In the days that followed, I leaned into SH’s offer to do things for me, tangibly. One late December night, she drove around looking for my Paxlovid prescription as it had been sent to the wrong pharmacy. A few days later, she dropped off a care package of classic comfort foods complete with tea bags and chicken soup.

What else do you need?

Nothing. You are an angel. Okay, so what errand can I run for you?

SH was persistent and I appreciated her steadfast moxie aimed at supporting me through this rough patch.

Well, actually, there is something, but it would take you out of your way and be a complete pain. I had these cushions made before all of this happened and they need to be picked up. On it!

Many of us espouse genuinely-held values rooted in our families of origin and our belief systems, but struggle with how to live them consistently and with, well, steadfastness. Not SH.

When a loved one, friend or neighbor is struggling with grief, loss, illness, isolation, or a personal boatload of life troubles, we can complement our prayers for them by learning how to extend help in a way that works.

TIPS FOR OFFERING TANGIBLE HELP. Of course, “help” is not one size fits all, and it is only helpful if it is something that succeeds in lightening the other person’s load. So...

CONSIDER WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT FRIEND WHO IS “GOING THROUGH SOMETHING.” SH knew that I couldn’t leave the house and – as you may have noticed - acted on that key bit of knowledge. You can ask specific and targeted questions such as:

I am running to Costco on Tuesday. What can I pick up for you? What day does your trash guy come? I’ll put out your barrel for you.

THESE QUESTIONS ARE FAR MORE EFFECTIVE THAN ASKING: Need anything at the store? Do you want me to put out your trash barrel for you?

As these are more likely to elicit a “No, I’m fine” response. MAKE IT HARD FOR THEM TO SAY NO. We’ve all been through rough times. That’s something you can use to make it easier for your friend in need to accept your help. You can say:

It was really hard to stay on top of things when Joey was so ill. I don’t know what I would have done without a little help here and there. What specific thing can I do that would lighten your load a bit right now?

BE A LITTLE PRESUMPTUOUS. Another friend, “HC,” texted this to me when I was well enough to visit my husband in the hospital every day for two weeks:

So sad you are going through this. I have your key, so what day can I come by the vacuum or do some laundry?

IF ALL OF THIS SOUNDS A LITTLE “BOLD” FOR YOU, KEEP THESE IDEAS IN MIND: environment for them to grow in their faith. Susan Kittle (Children’s Director) and Sean Niner (Youth Director) are both powerhouses of faith, and I can’t thank God enough for their encouragement along the way.”

• Helping others is clinically proven to help you. It goes both ways.

• Espousing your values is one thing. The much greater reward lies in living them.

• That person on the receiving end will never forget the love and kindness expressed in deeds, not words.

Exciting things are happening at Bethel Presbyterian Church in Cornelius, as the congregation recently welcomed their new Senior Pastor, the Reverend Aaron C. Moore, and his family.

A graduate of Garinger High School in Charlotte, Aaron met his wife of 23 years, Sarah, at Gardner-Webb University. The couple and their four children have relocated to the Lake Norman area from Marietta, Georgia, and they couldn’t be more thankful.

Aaron also studied music composition at Gardner-Webb and developed his ministry in nearby Shelby, NC. After graduation, he was called into full-time ministry in Boca Raton, FL, to serve with Grace Community Church. There he served as Director of Music and Adult Equipping Ministries, and continued his educational journey at Knox Theological Seminary where he earned his Master of Divinity degree.

As we all know, music is such an integral part of the Christian faith, and Aaron shares that his life has been brimming with church music from day one!

“There’s usually a pressure with new beginnings to put your best foot forward—and the feeling can be like a middle school dance, not knowing exactly what to say or do,” explains Aaron. “What I got instead was a beautiful community of people who love Jesus and were ready with arms wide open for a fresh new start. Some joined us to unload boxes on moving day, others sent dinner and cakes. This welcome is everything a pastor could hope for in a new church, and my family is blessed to be part of Bethel!”

The Moore family made Bethel Presbyterian their official church home last February, and Aaron delivered his first sermon— appropriately—on Ash Wednesday. He shares the enormous life blessing of being “back home,” as after his installation service he and Sarah were able to serve lunch for a large group of friends and relatives—some of whom they hadn’t seen for over six years.

“You see it over and over in the Scriptures in the Psalms and Kings, and even in the New Testament, that music is a great way for disciples of Jesus to memorize Scripture,” he explains. “Theologian Karl Barth was once asked to summarize his theology in one sentence. His reply, ‘Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so.’ Music has the ability to instill great truths in simple ways deep within our souls. From attending Montreat Music and Worship conferences as a teen, singing in choirs, handbells, and praise bands, to studying music as a college student, this has been my experience and inspiration.”

Aaron feels incredibly honored to be counted among the wonderful pastors who have serviced this community in the past.

“There is no value we can place on being back home,” he says. “My oldest is 19 and will be a student at Gardner-Webb University in the fall, my other two boys are 17 and 13, and my daughter is 11. While they miss their friends in Georgia, and this is a huge sacrifice for them, I’m confident Bethel will be a wonderful landing spot for new friends and a rich

“This church is almost 200 years old, and Sarah and I are both excited to serve Bethel,” he adds. “We look forward to knowing every name, hugging every neck, and seeing this church flourish for many years to come. We also look forward to being involved in the greater community through service and mission, as well as civic involvement. The church exists for the glory of Jesus Christ. And, as the prophet Jeremiah encouraged the exiles in Babylon: ‘Seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you. Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.’ (Jeremiah 29:7) We want to be a light and a blessing for folks near and far, in Cornelius, Lake Norman, North Carolina, and to the ends of the earth, and I believe Bethel desires the same. It is certainly poised to do just that!”

by MARTIE EMORY