FW October 2020

October 2020

October 2020 | 1

Wake Forest Baptist Health

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Windsor Jewelers

October 2020 | 3

Where Flavor & Hospitality Meet Fall Dinner Menu is here!

Now Starting at 12 Daily • Chicken & Dumplings • Pot Roast • Lasagna • Fried Chicken • Fried Shrimp

Midtown Cafe & Dessertery

Over 30 r e v o r o f s t r e dess 30 years 151 S. Stratford Road Winston-Salem, NC 27104 336.724.9800 MidtownCafeWS.com 4 | ForsythWoman.com

Homestead Hills

October 2020 | 5

Sixth Sense

health and wellness center

MASSAGE

ACUPUNCTURE

NUTRITION

STRETCH

Your home work station is killing your back Low back pain, pain in fingers, wrist and shoulders are all signs Health that you& Wellness Sixth Sense need some self-care.

Get a massage and acupuncture and feel the relief!

Book now and start feeling better again!

Nikki Roach LMBT

Dr Chelsea Wynter LAc. ND

Dr. Sylvia Bognar, LAc. ND

336-723-4400 | www.6ths.com 1012 BROOKSTOWN AVE | WINSTON-SALEM NC 27101

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DETOX

Nitsa’s Apparel

S K I N C A R E , A LT E R AT I O N S , S P O R T S W E A R , S P E C I A L O C C A S I O N , B R I D A L , P R O M

Winston-Salem 336.725.1999 107 South Stratford Road, Stratford Village

nitsas.com #wewearnitsas October 2020 | 7

Casey Creative Only the Good Stuff Are you looking for ways to make your brand stand out?

From concept to delivery, we’re your One Source with Infinite Resources.

print, promo products, gifts, apparel, signage, vehicle graphics, direct mail, labels, packaging, PPE, web design, digital marketing, social media management

www.caseycreative.us @caseycreativellc 8 | ForsythWoman.com

Salemtowne Retirement

October 2020 | 9

Follow us on facebook and instagram @forsythmags

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78 14 Keeping it Real 18 Strawberry Oat Flour Waffles 20 In the Spotlight 28 Voices Changing Communities 48 COVER STORY Habitat for Humanity: Celebrating 35 Years in Forsyth County 98 Virtual Furr Ball 2020 118 Women on the Move 124 Celebrations PUBLISHER Brooke Eagle | Brooke@ForsythMags.com EDITOR Keela Johnson | Keela@ForsythMags.com PUBLISHER’S ASSISTANT & SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER Madison Hill SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE Tamara Bodford ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Kristi Marion | Heather Spivey ADVERTISING Advertising@ForsythMags.com EDITORIAL DIRECTOR Vonda Henderson BACK OFFICE & VIRTUAL ASSISTANT The Office Nerd, Denise Heidel COVER PHOTOGRAPHER JEJ Photos CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS JEJ Photos Jodie Brim Photography | Photo Artistry by Melinda CONTENT EDITORS Kim Beane | Meghan Corbett (Assistant) SENIOR STAFF WRITERS Meghan Corbett Denise Heidel | Carolyn Peterson OTHER CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Jen Brown | Adele Casanova | Rebecca Cooper | Elisa Coppede | June DeLugas | Lisa Doss Martie Emory | Julie Fritz | Jamie Gadson | Amy Hill | Taryn Jerez | Jean Marie Johnson | Vic Khemsara | Debbie Lanier | Ava Lewandowski | Sara Migliarese Brooke Orr | Rosey | Susan Schabacker | Lauren Sephton | Al Seymour | Megan Taylor GRAPHIC DESIGN & PRODUCTION Emerson Designs WEB DESIGN/MAINTENANCE Nu | NuExpression.com IT SUPPORT Creative IT | creativeit.com CONTACT ForsythWoman.com 888-892-3204

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Club Pilates

October 2020 | 11

The Publisher Perspective

can’t believe it’s already October!

Literally feels like it was March just sixteen years ago!” One of our writers shared this recently and it made me laugh out loud! Does this resonate with you?! Some days I feel that the year has flown by, while other days it feels like 2020 has lasted for at least five years. I think one thing we can all agree on is that life has certainly changed since March. I was on a phone call with a close friend and mentor of mine a few days ago and we talked about these life changes.

She confided in me that these crazy and uncertain times have made her usual constantly-going-self take a step back. It’s forced her to slow down and the crazy part? She’s loving it. She’s shifted her priorities in a major way.

We’ve all said “I’m too busy” or “I don’t have time” probably thousands of times. This phrase, in my opinion, generally means that it simply isn’t a priority for you. This isn’t an earth-shattering concept—I’m sure you’ve heard this before. But I think now is as good a time as ever to take a look at your priorities. What are you using your valuable time and energy on?

• Picking up the phone and catching up with a friend or family member?

• Stepping out of your comfort zone and joining a networking group to grow yourself professionally?

• Taking time to move your body and get some endorphins flowing?

• Volunteering with an organization that pulls at your heartstrings?

I encourage you to look at your priorities and make a shift if you need to. Re-evaluate what your priorities are in your current phase of life. It’s perfectly OK to be “too busy” for things, but don’t be too busy for the

important things in life. Remember that “important things in life” are different for everyone. Don’t pass judgment on what someone else deems important! This world would be incredibly boring if we all had the exact same priorities.

October is an exciting month in the Forsyth Mags world! We have our Tour de Boutique coming up on October 3rd! Follow along with us on social media as we visit TEN local boutiques throughout the day!

And then, join us on October 8th for Girls’ Night Out at The Grill at the Glen! We are beyond thrilled to be back with inperson GNO events! We’ll have plenty of indoor AND outdoor seating, tons of food and drink specials and as always, our fabulous prize board! See page 93 for additional details.

One last VERY important event happening in October—my best friend is getting married AND turning 30 all within 3 days.

Congrats Cassie and Zack and HAPPY 30th Birthday Cas! Wishing you both nothing but love and happiness!

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for supporting Forsyth Woman. Without our amazing readers, we would have no reason to put this magazine together each month.

If you visit a business that you see in these upcoming pages, let them know you saw them in FW!

All my best,

Brooke Eagle, Publisher

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Forsyth Woman Disclaimer: Please note that the inclusion of stories and articles in Forsyth Woman magazine does not imply endorsement of products or people. The views of the authors are presented for information and entertainment only, and may not necessarily reflect the views of Forsyth Woman. Specifically, Forsyth Woman in no way endorses any claim associated with health and/or well being with respect to any particular person. We disclaim all warranties, express or implied, including, but not limited to, implied warranties of merchantability and fitness for a particular purpose. We will not be held responsible or liable, directly or indirectly, for any loss or damage that is caused or alleged to have been caused in connection with the use of, or reliance on, any content in this magazine. Forsyth Woman reserves the right to deny any advertisement or listing that does not meet Forsyth Woman standards. Submissions are welcome but unsolicited materials are not guaranteed to be returned. Forsyth Woman assumes no responsibility for information, products, services or statements made by advertisers or editorial contributors. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher is prohibited. ©2005 by Forsyth Woman, Inc.

BROOKE NOTES

39 Years of Quality Fraleigh’s Boutique

Join us for an Anniversary Celebration October 22nd - 24th

Buy 3, Get 1 Free - Of your choosing!

Mix, Match, or make an entire outfit. *Excludes Brighton and Formal wear, Free item will be of equal or lesser value.

Ladies Night

Thursday October 22nd | open until 7pm 336-766-7440 • www.FraleighsBoutiqueNC.com Monday-Friday 10am-5pm | Saturday 10am-4pm | 2626 Lewisville-Clemmons Rd. Clemmons, NC 27012

October 2020 | 13

Keeping It Real HER SOUND STUCK!

BY DR. DEBBIE LANIER

Have you ever witnessed the sun peeking bashfully out from the night until it finally rises to dance upon the ocean waters? Words fall flat as I try to convey the experience. But if you ever witness the splendor of a sunrise by the sea, words seem unnecessary.

The encounter speaks its own language.

Mama loved the beach. Every time we visited, she kept a standing appointment with each sunrise. She tried not to wake me as she bounced out of bed before dawn like a giddy child at Christmas.

I rarely opened my eyes, but I heard it all unfold.

She would tiptoe around the kitchen, then whiffs of caffeinated nectar brewing would soon fill the room. Minutes later the balcony door would glide open and shut across its worn tracks. Mama toted her coffee and her Bible to greet the dawning of God’s morning masterpiece.

I heard only silence for the first while. Mama feasted on God’s Word like a thirsty soul discovering springs of refreshing water. She believed that in those moments the Creator of that vast ocean spoke directly to her . . . and He did.

Some time later, the silence typically ceased. With a sound so faint I could barely discern the words, Mama’s lips spilled with melodies of Praise. The familiar tunes hinted toward well-known lyrics.

My sweet mama would be the first to admit that she carried no exquisite gift in song. But in that moment, she didn’t sing for others. She was making the sound of Worship to the One she knew delighted in her feeble attempt.

This morning, I sit upon a familiar beach balcony. I rose early to experience the same wonder Mama witnessed.

She’s been gone for a while now. I don’t get to gift her with birthday trips to the beach anymore. I don’t get to lie awake with my eyes closed while she makes her sound. Here I sit, alone. I can’t see Mama savor the sunrise. But I can hear her.

That beautiful sound of worship she made each time she watched God tell the sun to get up again . . . it’s forever etched in my memory. In fact, Mama’s sound so impacted my life that I find myself sitting here this morning making my own sound of Praise as I read His Living Word, the Word that leaps off the page into my soul.

Mercy, I miss her. I can’t see her but oh, I can hear her. May my sound unto Heaven be so intimate and emphatic that when I’m gone, even though my children can’t see me, they can hear me—not only in their memories but woven through their OWN sound unto Him. Happy Birthday, Mama!

Your sound stuck! May my sound stick, too!

As Mama’s sound swelled with intensity, it was the clear sign that the sun had come out of hiding. As this beautiful manifestation of God’s splendor danced across the ocean waters, Mama sang louder, stopping intermittently to Praise Him like she couldn’t help herself.

Her spirit leaped with thanksgiving. Mama marveled with awe at this magnificent creation fashioned by the fingertips of this Majestic LORD who bent down in that moment to be with her. Those intimate encounters never grew stale.

Mama never realized she had an audience. She assumed my still body slept through it all. But I left each of those secondhand sunrise experiences pondering the sacred sounds in my heart.

For comments or prayer, contact Dr. Lanier at PastorDebbie@HopeCommunityChurch.tv.

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Lewisville Laser & Aesthetics

October 2020 | 15

Love your vision solutions Vic Khemsara, MD

Keith Biggs, OD

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.

– 1 Chronicles 16:34

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Laser Cataract Surgery • Dry Eye Center Glaucoma Treatment • Diabetic Treatment Multifocal Lens Implants • General Eye Exams IMPLANTABLE COLLAMER LENS PROCEDURE

BY VIC KHEMSARA, MD

Contact lenses causing you problems due to dryness? Cannot keep up with your glasses or they get damaged in your line of work?

Implantable collamer lens procedure, or ICL for short, differs from LASIK and cataract surgery.

ICL is sometimes referred to as an implantable contact lens. An ICL is an artificial lens, similar to a contact lens, which is implanted in front of the natural lens within the eye and behind the iris (the colored portion of the eye) allowing the lens to be invisible to others. The ICL procedure corrects for moderate to severe myopia (nearsightedness) and astigmatism.

Many patients have been told that LASIK is not an option for their eyes for several reasons, such as not having enough corneal tissue. The benefit to ICL is that no corneal tissue is removed.

Life has been stressful, you deserve a minute Grassroots Salon of wellness...or 60.

For the month of October take 20% off all facials www.summiteyecare.net www.facebook.com/SummitEyeCare 336.765.0960 • 3073 Trenwest Drive Winston-Salem, NC 27103

We are here to take care of everything you desire leaving you feeling fabulous! From haircuts and color to spa services rejuvenating your mind & body. The Grassroots team is committed to our guests in providing a safe environment during your time relaxing with us.

Unlike LASIK, ICL procedures do not damage the corneal nerves within the eye, thus helping to reduce the major side effect of dry eye disease.

Recovery with ICL insertion is very rapid and the procedure itself is performed in the office. Patients leave the office with great vision, which is sometimes harder to achieve with other vision correcting procedures. The first ICL was inserted in the early ‘90s and has been successfully growing since. ICL is a safe and FDA approved way of correcting vision.

Contact our office at 336-765-0960 to learn more.

3283 Robinhood Rd. (beside Freshmarket) 336-774-4777 | grassrootssalon.com @grassroots_aveda October 2020 | 17

Strawberry Oat Flour Waffles

BY LAUREN SEPHTON

com . t n e o abrightmom m t h g i www. @br o mentc

Hi! I’m Lauren. I’m a college student, freelance writer, and foodie. From running around as a child with the native tribes of Panama to down-home cooking in Tuscany, Italy, my recipes will give you a taste of the world. My favorite part is seeing the smile that homecooked meals put on peoples’ faces as they enjoy the farm-fresh flavors from the very first bite. With extra inspiration by local farmers markets across the USA from Seattle, Washington to the Carolinas, the possibilities are endless. Stick around to find everything from achievable dessert ideas to healthy, quick dinners that’ll happily feed the family.

Prep Time Cook Time Total Time Servings 5 minutes

10 minutes

15 minutes

Ingredients:

Instructions:

1 cup fresh strawberries, quartered

1. Lightly grease and heat up your waffle maker (according to its directions).

2 cups oat flour, or simply blend rolled oats in food processor until flour-like texture 2 large eggs 1 cup milk, plant-based or regular 3 tbsp. maple syrup 1 tbsp. olive oil 1 tsp. vanilla extract 1/2 tsp. almond extract 1 tsp. ground cinnamon 1.5 tsp. baking powder pinch of salt

4

2. In a mixing bowl, whisk together the flour, ground cinnamon, baking powder, and salt.

3. Create a large well in the center of the flour mixture, then add in the maple syrup, vanilla extract, eggs, olive oil, milk, and almond extract.

4. Whisk the ingredients inside the well, then whisk the batter all together until well combined.

5. Use 1/4 cup batter per waffle, cook according to your waffle maker’s specific directions.

6. Serve alongside fresh strawberries, dust with powdered sugar, and drizzle with maple syrup. Enjoy!

We hope you enjoy these fluffy, heart-healthy waffles that make an ideal bed-in-breakfast treat as they complement your favorite morning cup of joe.

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Restoration Med Spa

October 2020 | 19

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

This column is dedicated to uplifting incredible women that might not be featured in the local news about their accomplishments.

These are abridged versions of these incredible women; please find them and ask them more!

CRISSY FAISON

SUDHA MOPARTHY

In a matter of weeks, multiple people have told me that they have NEVER met a person like me before.

They have reiterated that I am the one and only Crissy. I laugh every time because I know I probably said or did something hilarious or absolutely outrageous. I used to be this quiet, shy person who really didn’t speak much (I would just flash my winning smile), but now I find myself speaking ALL the time. This past year, I have become this person that I admire and love, because I am who I am through the good and bad experiences that have made me Me.

My roots of being an Indian, my culture, and family values where I was so pampered as a girl by my parents and my big family during my first phase of life in India, where I never got to leave my hometown. My second phase of life being an independent woman with so many life experiences during my twenty years of living here, in Canada, and the United States.

There is so much learned during this transitioning from a village girl to a research scientist to an entrepreneur/ businesswoman.

Above all these, I am a strong believer that we are in this world to serve and heal others. My satisfaction and happiness lie in that, which keeps me grounded and calm in any situation. I love to enjoy every minute, be it a person, or with food, and my main mantra is to forgive and forget. I also love to support and volunteer in the community.

What makes you YOU?

What are you most proud of?

Now, y’all know the answer to that one. LeanBack!!!!

I have built LeanBack Soul Food from the bottom, and now I’m here. I am not a classically trained chef, but selftaught. I took one semester of culinary school, realizing I didn’t need that type of training. To eat my food is to know me, so I switched my degree to business because I figured when I opened, I would not run my business into the ground. I know my food is amazing because y’all told me so, and I watch you take the first bite and lean back.

LeanBack is so much of a success that I was finally able to quit my job and take LeanBack full time and that I am most proud of.

What keeps you going when things are tough?

Most people don’t know this, but 2019 was the best and worst year of my life. While my business was booming, my personal life was in shambles, and it affected me in a way where I lost myself completely. I was dying on the inside, not eating, not sleeping, just bad. At the same time, I still was out here trying to run a business, work full time, and flash that winning smile. My resiliency and determination allowed me to find this new confidence, stronger mentality, and winning personality evolving into this being we call Crissy, I have healed and stayed focused on what was important, feeding all you good people and reaching the goals I had set to obtain and that are already ordained by God.

What keeps you up at night?

Pancake, my pet bunny! She’s nocturnal, so she’s most busy at night. I’ll be in the dead of sleep and here she is making all this noise, like ma’am, it’s 2 am! Go to sleep.

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What makes you YOU?

What are you most proud of?

I would say first, my 10-year-old son, Yashvasin, who is a great supporter of me in anything and my family who have instilled a lot of values in me. There is also the gift that I can offer to this world as an educator, as a person who knows the importance of healing Indian spices and helping people on their health and wellness path. I am proud of the business I run, Om Indian Groceries, and all of the connection and education moments that come with teaching people about things I love.

I am also more than thankful to all the kind hearts that I met during my lifetime.

What keeps you going when things are tough?

There is always sunshine the next day irrespective of the darkness in the night. The fact that I am not alone in this world facing problems, so many people are struggling every day; we are all in this world together. As I am in the cancer research field, the victory bells that the cancer survivors ring are things that keep me going. Most of all, God is there to protect us and take us through the challenges and make us stronger. All of our prayers along with science and technology, will save us from this COVID crisis soon. Don’t just give up!

What keeps you at night?

The fact that I am not productive enough and there is so much to do in this short life and so many responsibilities to fulfill.

Don’t we all think that if we have more than 24 hours a day, we can accomplish a little more? Time is running short and if there is anything good that I can do for others, I will be the happiest person in the world.

Massage Envy

October 2020 | 21

GOLDMAN CENTER

for Facial Plastic Surgery Plastic Surgery & the Pandemic

BY MARTIE EMORY Dr. Goldman explains that he and his staff are doing as many surgeries as they can from their office, a low-traffic option. During the pandemic he also performs surgeries at a very small hospital in the High Country, located in the last county of North Carolina to even report a COVID case. “We have only two operating rooms and eight hospital beds – each of which has a view of Grandfather Mountain, so volume and traffic is low.”

BEFORE

AFTER

“I just see my mother’s neck every time I am on Zoom” – or a similar comment – is what Dr. Neal Goldman says he has heard almost every week from a patient during the pandemic. You would not expect facial procedures to be so popular, but the pandemic has surgeons around the country reporting an upswing as practices reopen, and this is also true at the Goldman Center for Facial Plastic Surgery.

When the practice did fully reopen, very few changes in daily procedures were necessary, as the staff was already cleaning every surface between patients, from chairs to door knobs to light switches, in their “pre-pandemic” state, as part of their normal protocol.

Ever committed to truly doing what is best for patients, Dr. Goldman – like many other businesses – closed his Winston-Salem office during the month of April, as part of our community response to the COVID-19 pandemic.

“A doctor’s office is already safer than most other places,” says Dr. Goldman, who wears an N95 mask when doing procedures, and asks his patients to slip on a mask when consulting in his office. Medical staff in physicians’ offices are just used to properly wearing PPE. “We did remove magazines from our waiting area, but that was about it – everything else was already in place.”

A time of both learning and flexibility, it was a reminder that the practice’s number one mission is to provide safe care. “We wanted to do what was best for the community, while providing care, but we had to do so safely,” he says. While they halted elective surgeries mid-March and didn’t begin elective hospital procedures such as face and neck lifts until May, the center did continue with skin cancer care and necessary reconstructive procedures. Some patients were actually annoyed, telling the office staff, “Even though I’m not going anywhere and no one will see me, I still want to get my Botox.”

So why are facial procedures so popular now? If you’re working from home or quarantining with your family, you’re blessed with more recovery time. Wearing a mask for daily shopping and errands is also the perfect way to cover bruises as you heal.

Let’s face it: Those Zoom meetings and Facetime encounters are giving you an up close and personal view of facial features you may not be fond of – typically the eyes and neck – and you’re likely more aware of areas you’d like to improve, usually thanks to that flattering camera angle that just makes things look worse

Also front and center on Dr. Goldman’s mind – and heart – is his commitment to HUGS (Help Us Give Smiles), an organization that works tirelessly to improve congenital deformities such as cleft lip, cleft palate, and microtia in the countries of Guatemala, Vietnam, and Ecuador. “We are all thinking about choices differently these days,” says Dr. Goldman. “Most of us are focused on what’s really important in our lives, including self-care, and determining how we really want to spend our time.”

Sadly, all three of the group’s planned trips in 2020 were canceled because of pandemic restrictions. “There were 37 babies born with cleft palate in Guatemala last month who face difficulty eating without surgery, and we have reports that those communities are on lockdown and the mothers can’t get milk for their babies,” he explains. Dr. Goldman is hopeful a March 2021 trip to Vietnam can proceed as planned, bringing smiles back where they are needed most!

But here at home, if a patient is still hesitant about committing to surgery, now is a perfect time to come in for a consultation to explore every available option. But it’s also the ideal time to schedule a procedure you’ve been contemplating for a year or two! Plus, Dr. Goldman is doing injectables again in the office, along with aesthetic surgery and hair restoration.

Dr. Goldman and his staff look forward to discussing your best options during the pandemic. Goldman Center for Facial Plastic Surgery is located at 108 Dornach Way, Advance, NC, 336-245-9595, and at 717 Greenway Road, Boone, NC, 828-278-9230. Visit FacialPlasticSurgeryNC.com to learn more about services. For more information on the work of HUGS, please visit HelpUsGiveSmiles.org.

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GOLDMAN CENTER for Facial Plastic Surgery Facial Rejuvenation Minimally Invasive Surgery Skin Rejuvenation and Fractional Laser Therapy Fillers and Injectables

GoldmanAesthetic Center and

Functional Nasal Surgery Hair Restoration Surgery

With Offices Serving the Piedmont and the High Country 108 Dornach Way | Advance, NC | (336) 245-9595 Kinderton Village – across from Bermuda Run NEAL D. GOLDMAN, MD Double Board Certified Facial Plastic Surgeon

717 Greenway Road | Suite A | Boone, NC | (828) 278-9230

FacialPlasticSurgeryNC.com October 2020 | 23

Q&A

with Local Author John Chandler

BY DENISE HEIDEL

John Chandler is a local writer, pastor, and ministry leader who grew up in Greensboro. These days, John divides his time between Chapel Hill and Lake Norman. He’s been married to his college friend-turned-sweetheart, Mary for 36 years, and together they have two grown sons and two granddaughters. A graduate of UNC-Chapel Hill, Princeton Theological Seminary, and Fuller Theological Seminary, John is a lifelong student, teacher, and mentor. John has been kind enough to answer some questions about his books and his ministry.

DH: “Praying New Beginnings” is a part of a series. How did this book come to be, and what can people expect from it?

JC: The “Praying” books came about unintentionally. I was challenged by a friend and mentor to embrace a new kind of discipline – to “win the first battle of every day” by engaging with the Word of God before engaging with technology. It was a challenge that took me on a journey to listen to God more deeply through the Scriptures.

About that time, I was in contact with a very high-profile leader, and upon request, I began to send notes from every day’s scripture about leadership to encourage him. Eventually, my wife suggested that I put my thoughts into a book. That single book turned into four books as I worked my way through the entire Old Testament: “Praying New Beginnings,” “Praying the Kings,” “Praying Wisdom,” and “Praying the Prophets,” make up the series. I learned by writing that this sort of study of the scripture could strengthen not only own my faith, but the faith and leadership skills of others as well. My most gratifying reports about the books are from leaders who report that they have learned how to turn to Scripture for daily leadership guidance.

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DH: Leadership has played an important part in your life and ministry. Please share how effective leadership can make an impact on the church.

JC: Without question, leadership is an essential ingredient in a church and congregation’s overall flourishing. It is something we need to nurture and develop in our emerging leaders. In our network, for every three pastors who are retiring, only one is entering congregational ministry.

And within five years, half of those who have entered have departed are leaving. It is critical that we invest in these promising young leaders, and keep them “in the game.”

DH: How does Uptick factor into this?

JC: Uptick is a ministry I lead that is designed to form young adult leaders. It has two primary focuses – 1) spiritual competencies of learning to listen to and respond to God, and 2). Learning the “soft relational skills” of how to work with people. We found that many promising young leaders weren’t washing out due to lack of theological expertise, but because they were suffering from discouragement from relational and spiritual issues. We teach leaders spiritual and relational competencies in Uptick – not classroom know-how, but real world ways of listening to God and people.

DH: How does Uptick work?

JC: It’s a one-year cohort of no more than twelve people who learn from world-class mentors and capable peers. We started Uptick in 2007, and it’s a recruitment-based cohort – we require a recommendation from a trusted leader and are looking for leaders of the highest upside. The structure varies among our 8-10 cohorts, but the main work happens through a series of in-person and online gatherings over the course of a year.

Of course, with the world of COVID, we are adapting to accommodate with lots more online resources. The Uptick track is offered to our participants at no cost to them; it is entirely funded through donations. Since we began, we have guided over 400 young ministry leaders (who range between 23 and 34 years old) through Uptick. It’s very much about learning leadership through the lens of discipleship.

DH: Will you please tell us about your latest book, “Uptick,” based on the Uptick track’s success?

JC: I wrote and published “Uptick” in 2019 as a “field guide,” based the principles we teach, for anyone who wants to start an Uptick network in their own setting. The book’s subtitle is “A blueprint for finding and forming the next generation of pioneering Kingdom leaders.”

We know from our years of guiding so many young adults in ministry the value of what Uptick offers, and hope that the book will help equip more leaders. All proceeds from the book’s sales go to support Uptick.

DH: How can someone learn more about Uptick?

JC: The book is available on Amazon, or in bulk through uptick.org. All proceeds from sales of the book are donated to equip future Uptick leaders. We love it when people reach out to us to find out how they can start Uptick networks in their own settings! We will help anyone we can in the effort to grow a new generation of confident, capable Kingdom leaders.

It’s a track that has farreaching implications and future impact on the Kingdom of God.

JEJ Photos

October 2020 | 25

Shop ‘til you drop, then stay the weekend!

BY MARTIE EMORY Since opening Dalton’s Crossing in 2012, Joyce Mauldin-Ray and her husband Wayne have poured their passion – and their hearts – into establishing the kind of ladies’ boutique everyone wants to visit: one where you feel at home immediately, they are honest and open with personal style advice, and you leave feeling beautiful and ready to face the world!

Now, more than ever, that comfortable ambiance and hometown feeling of “normal” draw their loyal customer base to not only shop the latest styles, but to make a definite effort to spend some extra time in the bright, airy boutique. You’ll love getting to know the Dalton’s Crossing staff as well, and you’ll welcome their fashion and accessory expertise.

“We have noticed during the pandemic people are making a special effort to support us,” says Joyce. “Our customers sincerely want the brick-and-mortar stores to stay in business – especially those who are locally owned. They want to see, touch, and try on clothing they are purchasing, rather than order online and return what doesn’t fit or suit their style. They want the full experience!”

Joyce and Wayne also feel offering 2600-square feet of retail space is especially attractive to shoppers wishing to social distance and avoid larger shopping crowds. Plus, with more folks looking to plan a relaxing day trip rather than a full-fledged vacation this fall, the drive to Dalton’s Crossing in King, NC, is the perfect solution. “King is off the beaten path, so to speak, but still in close proximity to Winston-Salem and the Triad area,” explains Joyce.

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Joyce and Wayne are also excited to tell customers about a fun turn in their entrepreneurial journey. The pair purchased the two-story Old Bank Building (a familiar landmark in King, built in the early 1900s) and have created an upstairs loft apartment – The Loft at Dalton’s Crossing, which is available for rent on both Airbnb and Vrbo. Its vintage brick walls and nine-foot ceilings contribute to the Loft’s charm, and amenities include a full-size kitchen and Jacuzzi garden tub.

With its window view of Hanging Rock State Park, this new venture is a must for your fall weekend list, and perfect for a romantic getaway – with a little shopping at Dalton’s Crossing on the side, of course!

“It’s part of our genuine effort to enhance our downtown area, and those who visit The Loft also stop in at Dalton’s Crossing during their stay!” says Joyce. (HINT: Remember the idea of that day trip we mentioned?!!)

Joyce says she’s excited to be bringing in several new lines for fall 2020, and, as the holidays approach, the staff looks forward to guiding customers in putting together entire outfits (including accessories!) or matching current boutique items with pieces they already own and love.

“We are also having a Jewelry Trunk Show, Saturday, November 21st from 11:00 a.m. until 2:00 p.m., with Jennifer Collins, local owner and operator of the MaryFlorence Amulet Shop,” says Joyce. “Jennifer offers handmade jewelry and décor crafted from semi-precious stones, pearls, and other natural elements. If you are looking for unique jewelry and décor, join us on November 21st for a fun time choosing a beautiful gift for that special person in your life!” Holidays also mean complimentary gift wrapping, and our helpful staff are there to assist husbands and children choose a perfect gift for Mom! Always the optimist and looking towards a bright future, Joyce explains she and Wayne dedicated their business to the memory of Wayne’s mother – Mary Lou Ray – who passed away in 2011 at age 95. Mrs. Ray was an inspiration to Wayne and Joyce and she believed in always doing your very best in anything you set out to do. Mission accomplished, as Dalton’s Crossing is a true team – and family – effort, and an experience that is more than worth the drive.

Dalton’s Crossing is located in the historic section of downtown King, at 102/104 East Dalton Road, 336-985-5464, with hours Monday – Friday 10 a.m. – 6 p.m., and Saturday 10 a.m. – 3 p.m. Visit their web site daltonscrossing.com and follow them on Facebook for news of sales, trunk shows, and special events.

October 2020 | 27

D’WALLA SIMMONS-BURKE IS LIFTING EVERY VOICE If you ask D’Walla Simmons-Burke to talk about her story and impressive list of accomplishments, she immediately brags on her students, instead. Maestra Simmons-Burke is the Director of Choral and Vocal Studies for the Department of Music at WinstonSalem State University, where she conducts the Singing Rams and four other vocal ensembles. She beams as she describes the Singing Rams’ national invitations and performances – 8 at Carnegie Hall for starters. When invited to make her conducting debut with the New England Symphony (a huge honor), Maestra Simmons-Burke insisted on bringing all 35 Singing Rams with her before saying yes. She brags, not on herself, but on how the WSSU students memorized the entire work of Gabriel Fauré’s Requiem and joined the New England Symphony Chorale at Carnegie Hall for her conducting debut performance.

She lifts every student’s voice under her instruction, no matter what their musical experience may be before enrolling at WSSU. “What can I do with them where I get them?”

She has done a lot since joining WSSU in 1989!

Growing up in a college town in Georgia, in a loving family surrounded by music, SimmonsBurke started piano and voice lessons at a young age and wanted to be an opera singer. She excelled at both. In high school, she marched in the military-style band, twirled the baton, was on the band drill team, and twirled knives (a very impressive list)!

She attended concerts when HBCU bands or choirs would perform in her hometown. And her mom passed on the love of teaching. She majored in Music Education (voice principle) at Hampton University and then received her master’s degree in Music Education from the University of Illinois, where she was top student and the only African American in her class, finishing in one year.

She lifted her own voice and discovered her passion for conducting, even though this was, and still is, a male-dominated field.

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Simmons-Burke is proud of the legacy she is building at WSSU and in her profession. SimmonsBurke founded the Winston-Salem State University Burke Singers, a female a cappella vocal ensemble, after being victimized by racial and cultural bias. In 1995, Simmons-Burke and the Singing Rams were invited to perform at a large local event attended by international clients of a local business. While she and her choir waited outside of the venue for their entrance, she was approached by the event organizer and instructed, “Come in when I signal you; just don’t sing any of those Negro spirituals.”

Trying hard to maintain a poker face, she turned to her students and told them to get back on the bus, without performing. They traveled in silence back to WSSU, D’Walla processing the anger and injustice that she experienced, as only a few students had heard the verbal exchange. Worried that this silent protest would cost Simmons-Burke her job, she instead received praise and support from the WSSU Chancellor and from a female student who was close enough to Simmons-Burke to hear the injustice, urging her to start a new ensemble. She saw a need to add variety, emotion, and a sense of political awareness to the choral program and to the city of Winston-Salem, North Carolina. SimmonsBurke lifts the voices of young female singers, who form the core of the Burke Singers, and who continue to write, create, and perform music that speaks to societal injustice. D’Walla’s continuous support throughout her career at Winston Salem State University was that of her devoted late husband, Fred A. Burke. After his retirement from Winston-Salem State University as Vice Chancellor for Business Affairs, Fred became the business manager for the Singing Rams and was affectionally known as “Daddy Burke” by her students.

Even the COVID-19 pandemic has yet to silence the voices uplifted by Simmons-Burke. Since singing in person is one of the worst things you can do for the spread of the virus, Simmons-Burke and the WSSU choir have joined the Virtual Choir Consortium of Charlotte, where the Singing Rams, along with choirs all over the world, will be creating virtual choral performances. One research project called “Singing Black and White” has combined traditional white church choir members with high school choirs, community choirs, and groups like the Singing Rams and the choir from Winthrop University. The result was a better sound together, rather than separate. The different choral groups taught each other about cultural differences as well as singing styles. Conductors like SimmonsBurke led the virtual mixing of choirs, resulting in a harmony that our society should emulate. “Lift Every Voice and Sing” is something that Simmons-Burke does beautifully. Everyone should join her choir!

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October 2020 | 29

What’s Keeping You Inspired?

With most of us staying closer to home than usual, some of our more familiar sources of inspiration are redesigning rooms to accommodate more than one use. These days, creativity can come from surprising places. An office may become the office for two, with husband and wife both working from home. Next are the children. One, two, or three have to go to school independently.

We look for a room, or more than one room, to divide the children, so they can look at their video conferenced teachers to do attendance and do their work. Each child needs a quiet space and room to do their homework. For now, this has become a way of life. Most of us thought we would be sending our children back to school to their classrooms to learn, socialize, and play outside together. Rediscovering spaces and rendering it on paper is what we do best. Renderings show clients what can be done and how it will look. Turning an extra room into a classroom does not need to be that hard. Some rooms to consider are guest rooms, dining rooms, existing offices, and sometimes laundry rooms that have desks that can be used for one child or more.

I am one of the lucky ones, because I created an at-home office last year, with a custom-designed dual desk built across 12 feet of wall on one side of my current office. The cabinet maker took my CAD drawing and built it. I specified the color of the base and a stain color for the top. There is a peninsula in the middle dividing it at the six-foot mark. The peninsula serves as my working space to lay out paperwork. My computer screens are centered at the turn of my side of the desk. To my left is my printer and each end has a set of drawers, including file drawers. I added a TV on the wall in the center, where late-night working allows me to listen or watch TV while working. I also have a recliner in my office for those nights I need some rest in between working. For most who know me, there are many 12 to 14-hour days. I’m not complaining, because I love what I do. The late nights are normally when I do most of the business paperwork. I also put some of my favorite art in my office so that I can enjoy looking at it. On the window wall are a pair of 1940s pointillism art (or a form of it).

JUNE DELUGAS LEADS AN AWARD WINNING DESIGN TEAM

But, as fate would have it, there is still a need to stay home to work and learn. Some corporations have discovered that it might be the way of the future, thereby saving corporations money. The money is saved from rental space reductions, electrical reductions, etc.

Let’s get together so that we can make mixing homeschooling and working from home a little more comfortable for your lifestyle.

What’s keeping you inspired?

God Bless!

PHOTOGRAPH COURTESY OF JAY SINCLAIR

June

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2018, 2017, 2016, 2016, 2013

PHOTOGRAPH COURTESY OF JAY SINCLAIR

Working from Home, Children Homeschooled

June DeLugas Interiors

It All Begins with

Extraordinary Design STR AT E GIC R E MO D E L P L A N NI NG • LUXU RY R ESI DENT I A L DESIGN COMMERCIAL DESIGN • HOME F URNISHINGS & ACCESSORIES

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October 2020 | 31

A Grand Event at Lewisville Laser

BY DENISE HEIDEL, PHOTOS BY JODIE BRIM PHOTOGRAPHY

For over 12 years, Lewisville Laser & Aesthetics has been a trusted resource for skin care and rejuvenation. They have built a stellar reputation through exemplary service and care for their patients. Moreover, they are committed to enhancing their patients’ natural beauty through high-quality products and innovative treatment techniques. And now, they have expanded their services and are hosting a grand re-opening in combination with their 12th birthday celebration!

This is an exciting time for those who know and love Lewisville Laser & Aesthetics, as well as those who are new to the practice.

“We have the most amazing, consistent staff,” said Dr. Leigh Summer. “Our patients know us and trust us, and we’re so thankful to be a part of helping people feel good about themselves.

For years, we’ve offered a wide spectrum

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of services, including body contouring, hair removal, feminine rejuvenation, brows and lashes, skincare, vein treatment, and sun damage repair. Our ability to deliver the highest quality in skincare and technology is improving, and as a result we are growing – both in services and in physical size!”

Some of the new services offered at Lewisville Laser include tattoo removal, reduction of scars, treatment of brown spots, and signs of aging.

“We are particularly excited about the addition of Resolve by Picoway,” shared Dr. Summer. “This highly effective laser treatment reduces wrinkles and builds up collagen and elastin below the skin’s surface. It’s an amazing treatment – our patients have loved the results, as they see visible improvement in skin quality in just 12 weeks without excessive downtime.”

“The ladies are always so professional, sweet and caring. The office is just beautiful and you always feel so relaxed and well taken care of.” ~Thuy H. “They are so friendly and professional.

It feels like family when you are there.” ~Tricia P. “The doctor and staff are excellent. Their willingness to answer questions speaks for their professionalism and puts me at ease.

They do not try to oversell and they always make me feel as if I am their priority when I am there.” ~Roxie B.

Dr. Summer continued, “Our staff can’t wait until October 22nd, as we will be hosting our first-ever Virtual Event. We’ll get to showcase all we have to offer in a safe way, including the complete remodel of our office.” The practice has doubled in size, adding additional treatment rooms and relaxation spaces, and patients who have not been in recently will get a chance to take a virtual tour of the new space. “We’re also going to share live demonstrations and live question and answer sessions, and there will be plenty of specials in our online store,” Dr. Summer added.

Those who have attended Lewisville Laser & Aesthetics’ past events know that they pull out all the stops. Their team never does anything halfway! And though this year will be virtual, the same level of service, care, and fun can still be expected! Some of the Q&A content includes valuable information on a wide range of treatments, from injectables to vaginal rejuvenation, Botox to tattoo removal. “We are eager to answer the questions our patients (and soon-to-be patients!) have,” said Dr. Summer. “And who doesn’t love prizes? We’re going to have some of the best giveaways in our twelve-year history!”

Participating in the grand re-opening event is as easy as going to Lewisville Laser’s Facebook and/or Instagram pages.

“Throughout the day, we will be posting fun games, giveaways, and interesting information that our followers will want to know.

Our team is super excited to ‘see’ everyone, and of course, we look forward to introducing ourselves to folks, too!”

Lewisville Laser & Aesthetics brings so much to the community, and this is a great time to learn more and celebrate this small business that has invested so much into helping others embrace their own natural beauty! Be sure to tune in on October 22nd!

Lewisville Laser & Aesthetics is located at 6580 Shallowford Road, Suite 130 in Lewisville, only ten minutes away from Winston-Salem! Visit them online at LewisvilleLaser.com to book an appointment or shop for products at ShopLewisvilleLaswer.com. Be sure to like them on Facebook and follow them on Instagram and Twitter. Schedule a free consultation at (336) 945.2076.

October 2020 | 33

One Source,

Endless Possibilities

BY MARTIE EMORY

print, promo products, gifts, apparel, signage, vehicle graphics, direct mail, So much more than a catchy t-shirt sporting your company logo or a promotional postcard landing in prospective customers’ hands, Casey Creative strives to build solid, lasting relationships with all its clients, from small, local businesses to bustling companies of over 1,000 employees.

Backed by some amazing woman power, owner Roger Casey launched Casey Creative early in 2018, following a successful sales career where he discovered the magic of mixing concise strategy with a healthy dose of creativity. He and his all-female staff of three – Danielle (director of operations), Carolyn (operations manager and account manager), and Dara (marketing manager), along with his wife, Candie, who stays actively involved in the business – are masters at anything that is imprinted, fabricated, or designed!

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A franchise of Ohio-based Proforma, Casey Creative specializes in print materials, promotional products, corporate apparel, labels, packaging, signage, direct mail, and specialty digital marketing for an impressive list of over 600 clients. Casey stresses his company wants to ensure the money a client designates for their marketing budget will generate a real, lasting value for the long run. Partnering with Casey Creative gives clients the benefits of being backed by a large company – including finding the best prices and most exciting opportunities – while keeping things local for daily operations.

“Seventy-five percent of our clients are in North Carolina, with most located right here in the Triad,” says Casey, who broadens his company’s networking opportunities while working with several specialty organizations and several different Chambers of Commerce, including the Lewisville-Clemmons Chamber of Commerce. His staff knows the value of working in the local market – they most recently created the full signage campaign for the Winston-Salem Dash as they transition from BB&T Ballpark to Truist Stadium.

They have also produced a good deal of PPE in the past few months.

ONLY THE GOOD STUFF @caseycreativellc

www.caseycreative.us labels, packaging, PPE, web design, digital marketing, social media management “I’m proud of the way we approach what we do,” says Casey. “We don’t simply hand a potential client a catalog or two and wait for them to order something imprinted – we offer a complete collaborative approach that covers every aspect of their business.”

From custom branded apparel and sharply styled business cards to web design and social media management, the Casey Creative team is equipped to work within any industry, with a hands-on approach to what will always offer the best return for the client. Initial meetings begin with getting to know as much as possible about the business or project, understanding their budget, and focusing a keen eye on their end goals. For small businesses – including many local ones – Casey encourages a social media campaign that is more deliberate than simply generating daily posts. Keeping the business/client relationship as interactive as possible is vital in what is our ever-changing world!

Casey Creative operates remotely, with their staff all working from home, giving them the flexibility to meet and engage with clients and new businesses on a regular basis, in a wide variety of settings. From healthcare, automotive, education, and retail, to real estate development, sports, and technology, all receive the team’s best efforts for both tangibles and the bigger picture, total branding.

“We love being part of the community, with a homegrown feel,” says Casey.

To learn more about the services of Casey Creative or to schedule a consultation, call Roger Casey at 703-8508668, email roger@caseycreative.us, and visit their website at caseycreative.us.

October 2020 | 35

of Winston-Salem

A CLEAR VISION FOR YOUR SAFETY!

BY MARTIE EMORY

At Duke Eye Center of Winston-Salem, health always comes first, and with the extra challenges of the past year due to COVID-19, safety has been at the forefront of every conversation.

WHO WE ARE If you’re just getting to know Duke Eye Center of Winston-Salem, these dedicated eye doctors offer consultations and treatments for common and complex eye conditions such as dry eyes, cataracts, corneal disease, and glaucoma. Corrective vision procedures such as LASIK, and specific cosmetic eye and facial rejuvenation procedures are performed in their office, while eye surgeries for both children and adult patients are performed at Novant Forsyth Medical Center.

Duke Eye Center of Winston-Salem is focused on ensuring a safe experience for patients by following all safety standards and protocols. It is important to ensure you continue treatment for chronic eye conditions during this time and schedule an appointment if you have any change in your vision, to avoid any potential vision loss.

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EYE CARE SERVICES TO MAINTAIN & ENHANCE YOUR VISION Duke Eye Center is committed to offering the latest advancements in eye care to preserve or enhance vision by offering a full range of services for both children and adults. Angela Verkade, MD, a corneal specialist, recently joined Duke Eye Center of Winston-Salem.

Dr. Verkade specializes in cornea, cataracts, refractive surgery, and external disease. “I care for a wide variety of patients and I truly believe my specialty allows me to make a unique connection with my patients. My goal is to understand my patients on a personal level so that I can realize how their vision is affecting their daily lives,” says Dr. Verkade. She believes taking care of patients is both an honor and a privilege, and her goal is to work as a team with patients and their families to establish a treatment plan that best suits their needs. When not at work, she enjoys training her dog, spending time with family, exercising, and exploring the outdoors.

Angela Verkade, MD Duke Eye Center of Winston-Salem offers evaluation and treatment for the following conditions: • Dry Eye • Cataract Surgery • Corneal Disease Treatments • Cosmetic Facial Enhancements and Rejuvenation • Eyelid Lifts and Reconstructive Surgery • Eye Movement Disorders (including amblyopia and strabismus • Glaucoma • Laser Vision Correction (such as LASIK and PRK) • Pediatric Ophthalmology Accredited by the Joint Commission on Accreditation of Healthcare Organizations (JCAHO), Duke Eye Center of Winston-Salem is located at 1340 Creekshire Way, Suite 100. Office hours are Monday through Friday 8:00 a.m. – 5:00 p.m. Call 336-7683240 to schedule an appointment or visit dukeeye.org for more information about providers and services.

WE ARE

OPEN! Accepting new and return patients for comprehensive eye care, cataracts, corneal disease, glaucoma, laser vision correction, pediatrics, cosmetic and facial rejuvenation treatments

Serving Forsyth for more than

20 years Dukeeye.org | 336-768-3240 | 1340 Creekshire Way | Winston Salem, NC 27103

Expert EyeDuke CareEye for the Entire Family Center

JIAXI DING, MD

FARAMARZ HIDAJI, MD

FRANK J. MOYA, MD

Glaucoma Specialist Cataract Management

Pediatric Ophthalmologist Oculofacial Specialist

Glaucoma Specialist Cataract Management

ROSHNI RANJITREEVES, MD “DR ROSH”

DIANNA L. SELDOMRIDGE, MD

TERRY M. SEMCHYSHYN, MD

ANGELA VERKADE, MD

CAROL J. ZIEL, MD

Comprehensive Ophthalmologist Dry Eye Treatment

Cornea specialist Cataract management Dry eye | LASIK

Cornea specialist Cataract management Dry eye LASIK

Glaucoma Specialist Cataract Management Medical Director

Oculofacial Specialist Facial Rejuvenation Aesthetic and Reconstructive Surgery

October 2020 | 37

John Bost:

A Catalyst for Change

BY DENISE HEIDEL

Some people embrace every moment life has to offer for the gift it is. And usually, these are the movers and shakers within our communities – the visionaries. In Clemmons, that person is John Bost. In his 72 years, he’s been known by various titles, including teacher, education reformer, church leader, entrepreneur, mayor, not to mention his prized roles of husband, father, and grandfather. A lifelong student, Mr. Bost has lived a rich and impactful life that has left a lasting legacy not only on those who personally know him, but also on the community.

And now we have a book that chronicles this living legacy.

“A Catalyst for Change” is a timely publication that recounts the decades of Mr. Bost’s experience and leadership expertise. But the foundation of it all is all about relationships. As Mr. Bost so astutely states in his book, “Relational Capital – relationships built on mutual trust and respect – is the most precious asset you will ever own.”

With a blend of wit, common sense, and relational acumen as his driving force, John Bost shares story after story that demonstrates the power of relationships. In truth, it’s hard to put his book down. Whether you know Mr. Bost personally or not, his writing style is full of charm and is engaging – inviting the reader to experience and in a way, re-live the memories with him. And through the process, the reader is invited to hope…. Something we desperately need these days.

“When I wrote the book,” said Mr. Bost, “I didn’t realize how timely the message would be. The book was written pre-COVID and published in June 2020. I had no idea that we would be facing a global pandemic or the racial tensions and unrest of the last several months. But the book’s timely arrival has been met with overwhelmingly positive feedback, especially as people seek answers in a world that feels like it’s gone crazy!”

“A Catalyst for Change” offers both wisdom and solutions. “I really believe in being others-oriented,” said Mr. Bost. “It’s the simplest thing. We make things so complicated, but the answer lies in humanizing others, treating them with fairness and kindness (the way we ourselves want to be treated!), and understanding what community really means – ‘common unity.’”

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Through real-life examples, Mr. Bost paints a picture of how community can be, and certainly his background is a testament to this truth. “From my time in the classroom to the years I spent in the business world and real estate development to my three terms as mayor of Clemmons, there’s a common thread – people invest in people. Whether it’s fundraising or investing, people don’t give to programs; they give to people they believe in. Again, it all comes full-circle back to relationships.”

As the reader comes to the end of “A Catalyst for Change,” Mr. Bost extends a second invitation – for the reader to don the mantle for change, too. “Everyone can make a difference, and we have a responsibility to one another to do our part,” said Mr. Bost.

“We need to encourage each other. To be generous. To be helpful.

To fearlessly pursue what is right, fair, and just. To leave our world a better place than we found it.”

Indeed, Mr. Bost has provided a roadmap for those willing to take the challenge to be a catalyst for change.

John Bost’s book, “A Catalyst for Change,” can be found on Amazon.com. You can also learn more about Mr. Bost, including his blog and other books on JohnTheCatalyst.com.

Budget Blinds

October 2020 | 39

Stay Motivated Working at Home

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

What was seen as just a few weeks’ or months’ stint has turned into a reality for many of us. Over the past few months, major companies like Amazon, Twitter, and Facebook have changed over to all-remote work – which may indicate that many companies, even smaller ones, will be ditching office space and communal coffee to work remotely. While many people were attempting to work at home when the COVID pandemic hit, the transition to successfully working at home has to happen to make this sustainable.

How do you stay motivated to work when you have so many distractions? Your dog, the plant, the fridge…all of these things can stop the flow and start the meander to other projects that suddenly become that much more important when you’re staring at them. The dog needs his nails trimmed today. That plant hasn’t been repotted in a few years, so now is great! When did I last clean out the fridge?

Sound familiar?

Here are a few tips to stay motivated and focused on your work while you’re trying to make your home an office:

FIND A SPACE I am so guilty of not always doing this. Work in a space that isn’t your bed or couch. Even if you’re set up at the kitchen table, you need to separate relaxation and “normal time” with work time. If you have an office, great! If not, your table does fine. By working in your bed or on your couch, you’re not only blurring the boundaries of “free time” and “work time” – you’re more likely to do the activities you’d do if you were off work (like think about cleaning the fridge.)

HAVE A CLOCK IN AND OUT Start at a specific time, and clock in. If that means making a cup of coffee and eating breakfast, then getting started, do it – focus on this becoming a routine. If you sometimes start before coffee and breakfast, as an example, and sometimes you get up around 11 am to grab some food, you’re letting that structure turn into a flow. The flow might work well for some people – others will have a hard time with consistency.

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As for clocking out, you need to find an endpoint. Would you stay at the office until 10 pm, checking and sending emails? How about Sunday mornings? No? Then don’t do it here. Have a routine that gets you out of work. Maybe it’s changing clothes or pulling your hair back or leaving your work in another room.

Don’t let the lines blur.

IF YOU TOOK BREAKS AT THE OFFICE… Take breaks at your house. You aren’t doing anyone favors going on 9-hour work binges that result in you not wanting to work the rest of the week. If you took a break in the office to grab a coffee, eat lunch, stretch – do that at home, too! Build-in and schedule that time if you need to.

TO-DO LISTS This is not a “To-Done” list – I repeat, this is not a to-done list! This is a list of things you work on, not a list of things for you to finish every day. Make it, cross things off, tap into it, and revisit it when necessary. If it feels like you’re not getting anything “done” and you need to have the satisfaction of crossing things off, break down the big tasks into smaller tasks, and cross those micro-tasks off.

Maybe it’s as simple as “answer four emails” – if you focus on celebrating the accomplishments, you’ll seek to accomplish more.

WORK SPRINTS Set your timer for 15 minutes – and work the entire time without checking your phone or getting distracted. Too easy? Try 30 minutes or an hour – or even two. When you’re done with the time, allow yourself the comfort of distraction, and start again.

Good luck, and remember – give yourself grace when trying new things, even if it’s working at home!

Hip Chics Boutique

October 2020 | 41

Turmeric, the Golden Spice

BY LISA S.T DOSS

The cultural knowledge of herbal lore is not entirely lost. The information may still be in our genes, urging to take root and blossom. It begins by first loving the fragrance and taste of herbs.

Take the interest one step further! Start drying leaves and flowers to make delicious teas, healing salves, tinctures, poultices and more to promote wellness!

The validation of turmeric as a medicinal spice extends a wide range of languages and cultures spanning 4,000 years. In addition to phrasing such as “lucky,” “beautiful as night” and “beloved of wife,” the yellow root can heal ailments comprising every letter of the alphabet. You, too, may find curiosity in trying a natural recipe characterized to “delight the heart,” “cure fever” or “offer fair complexion.” From health experts to healers in the holistic and allopathic world, inflammation is the source of almost every disease. Once impacted, the domino effect hinders all aspects of health and mobility. The gift from the plant world is turmeric’s roots and flowers, which provide immune-boosting, antibacterial, antiinflammatory and detoxifying properties.

GROWING TROPICAL HERBS Similar to holding a rabbit’s foot for luck, some believe turmeric plants can promote wellness. Gardeners interested in a challenge may enjoy creating a germination chamber using plastic, a grow light and a heat mat. After six weeks, the first sprouts arrive; yet, patience and continued care require growers to wait for a full 10 months until the broad, emerald leaves show signs of browning – an exciting time for harvesters!

DRINKING A REMEDY FOR HEALING A decoction is a method to dissolve a material, such as stems, roots, bark and rhizomes, by boiling. Try making the following decoction – bedtime golden milk, to break sleeplessness while easing digestion, inflammation, allergies or joint and bone pain.

Recipe: Combine 1 cup of unsweetened almond or coconut milk, 2 teaspoons of honey, 1 ½ teaspoon almond butter, ½ teaspoon pure vanilla extract, ½ teaspoon ground cinnamon, ¼ teaspoon ground turmeric, 1/8 teaspoon ground ginger and a pinch of black pepper to a small saucepan. Warm over medium heat, whisking briskly until almond butter combines with the spices. Do not boil.

Store leftovers in the refrigerator in a sealed Mason jar for up to three days. Reheat on the stove.

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CREATE A PASTE TO HEAL WOUNDS The body’s natural reaction to injury is to send white blood cells to the wound despite the effects of pain, swelling and redness. To calm the response, the healing spice, turmeric, fights inflammation while promoting new, healthy tissues.

For minimal scaring and fast healing, make a thick paste comprising two teaspoons of turmeric powder with either coconut oil or water. Once applied to the wound, cover with a bandage for 24 hours.

MAKE A FACE MASK FOR A CLEAR COMPLEXION The recipe to the fountain of youth to fight acne and scarring, prevent breakouts and achieve a natural glow is available to anyone willing to combine household ingredients.

Recipe: In a small bowl, mix 1 teaspoon of apple cider vinegar with 1 ½ teaspoons of raw honey and 1 teaspoon of milk or yogurt; then, stir in 1 teaspoon of turmeric powder to form a paste. Apply to skin, and allow to rest for 10 minutes. Rinse with warm water.

A POULTICE TO EASE PAIN Rather than taking a pill, consider making a natural material comprising a variety of healing ingredients wrapped in cheesecloth to relieve inflammation.

Recipe: Add 2 teaspoons of coconut oil to a small pan along with ¼ small, raw onion, sliced, 1 chopped garlic clove, 1 teaspoon turmeric powder, and 1 ounce of fresh, grated ginger. Cook on medium heat until it forms a ball. Do not burn. After cooling and warm, place in a cotton bandage, and apply to the injured area.

A WARNING OF DYE A yellow chemical called curcumin can dye the skin if the powder is not organic. It’s essential to perform a patch test first.

Users can apply a coat of coconut oil before the poultice or wrap touches the skin.

Enjoy the miracle spice, turmeric, whether it is for beauty, health or nutrition!

Next Month: Ginger

Brookridge Retirement

October 2020 | 43

Shop & Towing are taking the time to raise awareness about this important issue that women face and encouraging women to practice prevention.

Scarlette’s Performance: When Performance Counts

BY JULIE FRITZ, PHOTO BY JEJ PHOTOS There’s something so exhilarating about a sleek sports car that can take you faster than you ever imagined. A vehicle that uses a high-performance engine to provide you with an experience like never before. Maybe you have your sights set on a custom sports car or motorcycle. Or maybe you are more interested in a classic car with a rebuilt engine that can perform better than ever with the latest technology. At Scarlette’s Performance in Winston-Salem, they help turn your vision into a reality. With over seventy years of performance motor experience, this company delivers high power performance, paired with excellent customer service for cars, trucks, and motorcycles in the Triad.

LOCAL HISTORY Owner Sandra Scarlette has been working in the auto industry since she was 14 years old. In 1997 she bought Pat’s Body Shop & Towing from her brother and has continued the legacy, built by her family, of that long-standing Winston-Salem business ever since. Scarlette prides herself on being a woman in an industry where that is not the most common thing you see. Scarlette said, “I am proud to be a part of this business and also proud to be the owner of the second-largest shop in the US owned by a single woman.” In a male-dominated field, she takes her role very seriously. She also uses her platform to highlight things that affect other women. For instance, since October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, both Scarlette’s Performance and Pat’s Body

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For instance, since October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, both Scarlette’s Performance and Pat’s Body Shop & Towing are taking the time to raise awareness about this important issue. This year, on October 10, 2020, Scarlette’s Performance and Pat’s Body Shop are hosting the first annual “Racing to Remember.”This all-day event at Farmington Raceway in Mocksville will raise money for Breast Cancer Awareness in memory of David Garwood, who passed away in 2019. The event will also share the proceeds with the unborn son of Tyler Hodge, who passed away this year.

A NEW AND EXCITING ADVENTURE This year Scarlette decided to take her love of the auto industry to the next level by opening Scarlette’s Performance. She saw a need in this community for a place where custom vehicles and classic cars could be treated by knowledgeable mechanics with all the right tools. She has put together an incredible team that can provide a comprehensive list of premium services for anything from American muscle cars and late model supercars, to big trucks, big vehicles, and motorcycles. You will not be disappointed in the quality of care your vehicle will receive or the customer service that they take pride in providing.

SERVICES AND PRODUCTS TO MEET YOUR NEEDS Scarlette’s Performance offers a variety of services to meet the needs of your specialized vehicle. Their team can assist you with computerized tire balancing, high-performance engine modifications, dyno tuning, custom exhaust, performance suspension and alignment, custom welding and fabrication, and even hot rod and classic car restorations. And it’s not just about what they can do; it’s what they do it with. Not only do they have experienced staff, but they also use state-of-the-art technology to provide the best service possible. From their Hunter Engineering tire changing machine to top of the line products from companies like Hawk Performance and Mishimoto. Whatever your needs are, Scarlette’s Performance will exceed your expectations.

RELIABLE TOWING AND RECOVERY AVAILABLE Last but not least, don’t forget that Scarlette’s Performance also offers towing services. Whatever your towing or recovery needs might be, they have the trucks to get it done. They have Rollbacks and Wreckers and are ready to provide you with immediate assistance. You can contact their towing team at 336-999-3000.

Scarlette’s Performance is located at 4961 South Main Street in Winston-Salem. They are open from 8 AM to 5:30 PM Monday through Friday. For more information, or to schedule an appointment, you can call them at (336) 955-3099. You can also learn more on their website scarlettesperformance.com or follow them on Facebook and Instagram.

Getting your ride ready for the showroom or a joyride.

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336-955-3099 4961 S Main Street, Winston-Salem, NC 27107 Monday - Friday 8:00am - 5:30pm

October 2020 | 45

Angel Fant’s

A Fashion Brand for Social Change

BY ADELE CASANOVA, PHOTOGRAPHER: SANTINO HOLNAGEL, MODELS: HOLLYRMAH, ALAKI, CATHERINE YOUNG, AND MARICELA

Artist Angel Fant started her company, No Punching Bag, in 2015, and it has become an international fashion brand for social change. Angel runs the business with her two daughters, also artists, Tenijah and Danielle. “I believe in art with a purpose,” says Angel. “I started my fashion brand based on my journey as a human with my family.” Angel and her daughters create fashion collections that draw attention to pressing social issues. Their collections, along with the artful presentation of those collections, address social issues and tell the story of how these issues affect all of us. Collections created by No Punching Bag include Beauty Stereotypes, Racism, the Me-Too Movement, Gun Violence, and Domestic Violence.

gun safety.” The Domestic Violence Collection features purple, the color of domestic violence survivors. Angel has a personal connection to this collection, as it represents part of her own story as she has journeyed through life. No Punching Bag’s upcoming collection, called Ballot, will feature red white and blue and is aimed at a timely message of the importance of voting and participating in our future through the political process.

“Our fashion collections are based on the cries we hear from society,” states Angel. Collections are designed to show how social issues affect all areas of our society, including government, law enforcement, healthcare, education, politics, etc. The Gun Violence Collection features orange, the color of the gun violence prevention movement. No Punching Bag’s design and presentation of the Gun Violence Collection presents the question, “Who is holding the gun?” Angel describes the collection this way, “Gun violence impacts everyone in our society and has meaning for all of us. We each have a responsibility to understand gun sense and

Each presentation of a collection focuses not only on the garments but also on the big picture of the societal issue represented. Angel and her daughters use the garments in conjunction with carefully selected graphics and music to tell a story on the runway. The production of these presentations has developed over time to include many steps from choosing the societal issue and researching its history and impact on society, sketching the designs, model calls, garment production, fittings, audience selection, venue selection, and the artistic inclusion of graphics and music.

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Fashion garments for the collections are designed and produced through a detailed process, first with research, then by sketching, followed by physical creation, which includes a custom fitting to the model who will wear it in a presentation to a targeted audience.

Angel and her two daughters have been sewing and designing since they were young girls. All three share equally in the design and production of each collection. If 15 garments are planned, each takes on the task of designing and creating five of the garments. They bring their unique design styles to the collections. “We each organically create designs we feel represent the theme of the collection,” says Angel. They work together without any bossing or micromanagement of each other. They also each play important individual roles within the design company. Angel is the Creative Director handling all aspects of the presentations, including location, music, lighting, etc. Danielle is the Lead Designer, and Tenijah oversees the communication and marketing of No Punching Bag. No Punching Bag was invited to Paris Fashion Week in February 2019 and was selected by Paris Fashion Week Online as a Trend Setter. “Our participation in Paris Fashion Week brought global attention to the issues we were addressing, as well as global recognition of our fashion designs.

This resulted in other invitations to participate in fashion events throughout the world, including New York Fashion Week, in which we participated in September 2019. Being at Paris Fashion Week put our business and Winston-Salem on the fashion map,” recalls Angel. No Punching Bag now has a global customer base and has generated passion and interest in the social issues it addresses.

Angel describes the business as a fashion company focused on societal change. She and her daughters are learning to balance business with the goal of social awareness for society’s most pressing issues. Their main goals are to build their business as well as bringing attention to these issues, and support the movements that are dedicated to decreasing the problems, reducing hate, and promoting love.

Angel’s advice to other women interested in creating a company focused on societal change is, “Be true to yourself; tell your own story. Become personally attached to the goal and understand that your personal experience with a difficult issue is only a part of your life and does not define you. Remember that others are counting on you to be a voice for change.”

No Punching Bag can be reached at nopunchingbagdesigners@gmail.com.

Please visit them online at nopunchingbag.co and follow them on Facebook at Facebook.com/nopunchingbagdesigners.com.

October 2020 | 47

Celebrating 35 Years in Forsyth County

JEJ PHOTOS

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

Have you ever wanted and dreamed of something so much but it seemed just out of reach? Maybe you’ve gotten so incredibly close to achieving it, only for it to fall apart in the last moments.

This happened to Gena Fisher and her dream of homeownership – only she got it, thanks to Habitat for Humanity of Forsyth County.

From dreaming to living in rented homes too small for her family to almost completing a homeownership program at another agency – and only disqualified because of a modest raise at her job at the YMCA, Gena thought she was out of options. She looked into a traditional mortgage – another dead end, as she found the homes that she could afford weren’t safe.

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Cue Habitat for Humanity.

While Gena was discouraged, she still connected with Habitat for Humanity of Forsyth County. Once approved for the homeownership program, she enjoyed putting in sweat equity hours on a new home on Thurmond Street for another family– the home was Habitat’s 35th Anniversary House, right next door to the very first home built by the affiliate after its founding in 1985. The home would actually become hers.

After a series of unusual circumstances, Gena learned in early August that this home she has been working on would be enough space, bedrooms, and bathrooms for her and her three children. “Without [Habitat], I wouldn’t have been able to own a home. I plan to continue giving back to Habitat in any way I can.”

Incredible, right?

Imagine this dream being fulfilled, over and over, for 35 years – and now, get ready to join in the celebration that might look a little different than other celebrations, but still captures the spirit of community development.

The Habitat for Humanity of Forsyth County Blueprint Tour, “35 Years of Community Development,” took supporters on a guided tour of the Habitat campus, a historic neighborhood, and through Habitat’s vast and prolific history that serves and elevates everyone, from kids to adults.

“We’re educating families,” said George Redd, Chief Program Officer, “That can be financial literacy, life skills, and homeownership. A lot of times it’s about breaking the cycle of generational poverty and creating generational wealth through homeownership.”

This uplifting is a key part of the Neighborhood Revitalization approach that Habitat focuses its work around: a holistic approach that works alongside residents, assisting them in realizing their vision for a revitalized community. This includes the traditional work of building houses for lowincome families – and first-time homeowners – and also remodeling existing houses to new housing standards, assisting owner-occupants in repairs to their own homes, helping seniors age in place, and assisting on other community projects.

The tour, now available as a self-guided or virtual tour, takes you through the North Cherry Street Historic District, a Nationally Registered Historic

JEJ PHOTOS

George grew up not too far from campus, and his return home to do what he loved shows the depth and breadth of the Habitat reach. “Communities we build in often have distressed homes and haven’t had a new home in almost 50 years. A new build not only uplifts the community, but it also activates positive change.”

October 2020 | 49

District, and by one of these community projects – the Kimberley Park Community Garden. Even if you haven’t been, you might have heard of this garden from the former First Lady Michelle Obama’s book, “American Grown: The Story of the White House Kitchen Garden and Gardens Across America.” The garden at Kimberley Park is one of several mentioned “Gardens of Service.”

Habitat Forsyth has worked in the North Cherry Street Historic District since 2008 and relocated the campus to the community in 2015. The campus is vast and multipurpose. It houses The Kate B. Reynolds Charitable Trust Family Education Center, hosting classes, training, and community meetings; Dan Pearson Construction Technology Center, a construction operations center; Bob Doty Community Workshop, a community woodworking shop; the Smith-Phillips homeroom, a mock-up of a Habitat home where home maintenance and repair classes are taught; and finally, the Jimmy Johnson Volunteer Lodge, a place where college and high school students from around the country can stay while volunteering with Habitat and other organizations in Forsyth County.

“Our education program is customized,” said George, “We’re reaching the individuals and families where they are. We’re also serving the whole family – these families are so excited they are purchasing a home, and we’re making sure these kids don’t need a Habitat home. We want to give them the skills that are needed to break the generational cycle.”

This whole-family approach taps the mission of “building homes, community, and hope.” The community connection is clear and becomes exponential when you start tapping into the partner classes with Forsyth Tech, training students in both carpentry and plumbing, and the partnership with the Winston-Salem Forsyth County Schools Career Center. Construction Technology students build a house on the Career Center campus and then Habitat moves the home to its lot in the neighborhood – one is currently under construction on Burton Street!

The celebratory tour also contains nods to the folks that help Habitat in their mission like Smith Phillips Lumber Company and Plyler Supply Company. The phrase “it takes a village” doesn’t begin to describe the connection Habitat has to the community – one that not everyone is aware of.

“We have a lot to offer on campus. A computer lab, classes, and homeowner classes that are open to the community, and we wish that people would take advantage of,” said George. “One example: we have a two day course where people spend time talking with the different city departments to learn about the government.” Habitat learns from families as well. “We’ve learned where the different food banks were when there are certain days for certain discounts – all things we take for granted.” The more we all connect with our community, the more the whole community benefits.

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Take the self-guided or virtual Blueprint Community Tour:

If you still aren’t convinced to celebrate 35 incredible years – the campus itself houses over 20 blue birdhouses, a chimney swift tower, garden beds, and a gazebo with handcrafted benches for outdoor meetings – all built and donated as part of three local Eagle Scout projects. Through the contributions of the Forsyth Audubon Society: the campus is a habitat in itself for birds, butterflies, and other wildlife thanks to the native plant landscaping throughout the property.

Everyone deserves a safe and healthy place to call home. “We have provided homeownership opportunities and repairs to more than 500 families over 35 years but there is still much work to be done when it comes to affordable housing in in our area,” said Mike Campbell, Habitat Forsyth CEO. In a recent study, Mayor Allen Joines predicted that over 15,000 affordable housing units will be needed in the near future, just in WinstonSalem. “While Habitat Forsyth cannot solve this problem alone, we are in the unique

position to help address affordable housing challenges and combat the shortage,” said Mike. “Habitat for Humanity of Forsyth County is so appreciative to our supporters and the community without whom, non of this would be possible.”

Join Habitat on this mission, and celebrate the journey, sending good wishes to the future.

To learn more about how you can support Habitat’s work in the community, contact Lauren Davis, Chief Development Officer, at 336-306-8418.

Habitat ReStore

October 2020 | 51

TRICKS & TREATS

that Support a Strong Immune System

BY BROOKE ORR, MS RD LDN, ACSM-CPT October brings deep-fried and candied fair treats, pumpkin-flavored EVERYTHING, the highest candy sales of the year, and tailgates brimming with decadent foods and alcohol rich beverages.

October also marks an increase in cold and flu viruses that continues throughout winter.

Some may try to blame the rise in illness on the negative effects of sugar, alcohol, and high-fat food consumption on the immune system, but the truth is more complicated than “eat this not that.”

Harvard Health states that “For now there are no scientifically proven direct links between lifestyle and enhanced immune function.” The missing link doesn’t mean throw healthy habits to the wind.

It serves as a caution sign indicating consumers should be wary of immune-boosting claims on items such as supplements and nutrition programs.

Aiming for the “perfect” diet to fight illness often elicits stress, which may decrease the ability of the immune system to fight infections. Instead of obsessing over individual nutrients and the elusive “clean” eating concepts, aim to incorporate habits that are nurturing and kind to mind, body, and soul.

• Increase variety in your diet. While one nutrient cannot prevent illness, a nutrient-rich diet comprised of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and protein can provide the building blocks for your body’s optimal performance. Try this fall favorite, IMMUNE SUPPORT CHILI, packed full of Vitamin A, Vitamin C, Vitamin E, and Zinc!

Tricks and Treats to that will have your body performing at its best:

Ingredients: 2 15 oz cans lentils, rinsed & drained 2 15 oz cans black beans, rinsed & drained 1 15 oz can kidney beans, rinsed & drained 2 cups of butternut squash, fresh or frozen cubed 1 cup diced multicolored bell peppers 1 onion diced ½ cup dry rinsed quinoa 28 oz canned tomatoes with juice *Optional 8 oz grass-fed beef*

• Get enough sleep. The exact amount of sleep needed is different for everyone, but aiming for at least six hours is a good start. Create a relaxing, screen-free bedtime routine and aim to go to bed and wake up at the same time each day. Instead of keeping your phone by the bed as an alarm, try a more natural way to wake up. Try one of the innovative alarm clocks on the market.

Opt for one that simulates the rising sun, or a dual-action alarm clock that also acts as a diffuser.

Directions: Sauté onion & garlic in 2 Tbsp oil of choice; add ground beef if using and brown, transfer mixture to crockpot and add remaining ingredients. Cook on low for 6 hours, serve warm and top with lime wedges, fresh cilantro, pumpkin seeds, and avocado slices.

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• Incorporate joyful movement. This looks different for everyone, but the key objective is to move your body in a way that feels good and releases endorphins that brighten your mood. Exercise does not have to be done all at once to be effective – try incorporating mini-movement breaks into your day. The University of Kentucky provides a free short chair yoga routine (uky.edu/hr/event/loosen-short-chairyoga-routine).

• Make soul connections. The American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine shared their research which shows that connecting with people can help with a variety of things such as “maintaining a healthy body mass index, controlling blood sugars, improving cancer survival, decreasing cardiovascular mortality, decreasing depressive symptoms, mitigating posttraumatic stress disorder symptoms, and improving overall mental health.”

• Participate in spirituality. Blue Zones research found that centenarians who attended faith-based services four times per month increased life expectancy by 4-14 years.

• Identify your core values. Understanding what means the most to you makes decision-making easier and decreases stress. Time is limited, say yes to groups, events, causes, etc. that align with your values to maximize wellbeing. Need help differentiating values from goals? Try this quiz (personalvalu.es/personal-values-test).

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October 2020 | 53

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Second Harvest Food Bank

October 2020 | 55

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do: Saying Goodbye to the

Traditional Workplace

BY JEAN MARIE JOHNSON I broke up with the traditional workplace in 2008. Well, what really happened is that the traditional workplace broke up with me. A casualty of the financial crisis, I became an overnight freelancer for the very same company, an organization I loved. Wham, bam, and just like that, everything was different. Don’t get me wrong, losing that nearly three-hour, round trip commute was a welcome relief, but the rest of it was surreal. Back then, work had a significant place in my life, albeit, not in my home. Back then, the lines of demarcation were as clear and absolute as the goodbye. Eventually, those lines morphed. But that took time and, even more significantly, letting go.

That’s true of many “endings” in our lives, no? While we are wellpracticed in “goodbye,” we are ill-prepared for the necessity of letting go. Familiarity fuels our holding on and some measure of fear tends to hold us back.

I found ways to keep the office “alive.” To keep the invisible cord of connection intact, I sent a morning email to our office administrator – “Hey, it’s me. Just checking in…again.” I placed an arrangement of faux peonies near my desk to replace the fresh flowers I usually carted in on Monday mornings. I checked my email fiendishly, not wanting to miss anything. Because I had always thrived on working in quiet solitude, my makeshift home office afforded me that. But what I missed was something I couldn’t magically recreate: the casual camaraderie and the spontaneous synergy that fueled my thinking, my performance, and yes, even my loyalty. Besides, I now had a closet chock-full of beautiful work clothes with no place to go.

That pained me.

Over time, I realized that the slimmed-down staff, mostly the owners and administrative folks, were also learning to let go while learning how to carry on. I realized that while I had been removed, I hadn’t

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been replaced. And that is what mattered. My contribution was still respected and without question, counted on. My relationships, forged over the course of thirteen years in the office and on the road, were alive and well. Making this new “work arrangement” work was about my holding those two truths in the forefront of my consciousness and figuring out all of the rest. From the perspective of time and experience, we understand that we are amazingly adaptable. Looking back, I now think, “What was the big deal?”

Fast forward to 2020 and we are all living in a disruptive COVID world. While some welcome the opportunity to work from home, many are struggling with letting go. They and their employers are scrambling to figure things out and to make work from home, work.

Still others are waiting and wondering if or when they will return to the workplace, and assuming they do, what they will have to “let go of” once there. The new workplace will likely reflect our new normal, complete with social distancing and mask requirements, temperature checks, limited shared space, rotational, and clutter-free desks that are cleaned and sanitized after every use. Let’s not forget that you can kiss that coffee maker and water cooler a reluctant goodbye as they are replaced with hand sanitizing stations.

My heart swells with pride knowing that American workers are rising to the challenge of letting go, adapting with equal parts heart and determination. Recent studies give us ample reason for confidence: McKinsey research indicates that 80% of survey respondents say they enjoy working from home and 41% report that they are more productive. The added “bonus”: liberated from the daily commute, they have more time and greater flexibility around how they spend it. The funny thing about letting go is this: it creates the space for something new and with that, personal renewal. Priceless, no?

Piedmont Federal Savings Bank

October 2020 | 57

Making Dollars, Making $ense Securities offered through LPL Financial, Member FINRA/SIPC. Investment Advice offered through Independent Advisor Alliance, a registered investment advisor. Independent Advisor Alliance and Marzano Capital Group are separate entities from LPL Financial.

Setting Financial Goals

BY AL SEYMOUR, CHFC®, CLU®, CRPC®, CASL®, AEP®, CAP® WEALTH MANAGER

When we talk about setting goals, we are most often referring to comprehensive financial planning versus investment planning, which is about where to invest money and how should the portfolio be allocated. One of the big questions is how do you set financial goals.

It is best to simply get out a sheet of paper and write down what it is you would like to accomplish both now and in the future. When younger it might be saving for a down payment on a home, a car, kid’s education or paying off student loans. Later it may be a more intense focus on retirement, a second home or vacation travel and estate planning. Determine how much is needed, how much you will need to save on a monthly basis and when you would like to reach that goal. If you’re working with an advisor, they will discuss these goals, the different types of investments that may be appropriate and then how much you will need to save.

If you’re married, I would suggest writing down your goals separately and then coming together to place priority on your particular goals. Always include retirement because it takes many years to accumulate enough to provide for one’s future. Be realistic. When you’re younger it can become frustrating when you believe you can’t reach all your goals. Many people realize that as time goes on and they plan diligently that more of their goals can be reached. Investments are not the only things that help you work toward your goals.

Sometimes insurance may help if your goal is to provide for income in case of a disability, dollars to provide for a shortfall in education funding, paying off a mortgage or providing for a long-term care event.

When you focus on goals instead of chasing returns, you may not worry as much about down markets or how much someone else is making in their portfolio. You will instead evaluate your portfolio based on the fact that your goals are specific to you. Those who stay focused on their goals know exactly how to plan for those goals.

They also understand that you must create a plan of action, implement a strategy and follow up on your status on at least an annual basis. Investing alone may or not get you to where you want to go, particularly if you have no idea how much you need or how long it will take to get there! Why not know for sure.

Content in this material is for general information only and not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual. No strategy assures success or protects against loss. Investing involves risk including loss of principal.

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Your Home MarketPlace Where CreativityYour Home Marketplace & Imagination Are Always Affordable!

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October 2020 | 59

NORTH CAROLINA’S Best Places for a Fall Getaway

As the days become shorter and the weather becomes cooler, summer turns into fall. This season change is a welcome relief for those seeking refuge from the hot Carolina sun. There is something magical about this time of year. From the colors of the leaves painting the sky around us different shades of red, gold and orange, to the delicious fall crops that provide us with autumn flavor, this season is certainly a favorite of many. Rather than embrace this change at home, many think fall is a perfect time to plan a getaway with family, friends, or oneself.

Being a Carolinian means you don’t have to plan a trip far away to enjoy some of the most beautiful sights and sounds this season can provide. One of the many reasons our state is so beloved is the fact that we have

BY ELISA WALLACE COPPEDE

all four seasons, as well as easy access to some of the most exquisite mountains and beaches one can see. North Carolina’s coastal areas can experience 70-80-degree weather in the middle of fall, which is appealing to many who want one last trip to the beach. However, one doesn’t have to only be ready for a trip to the beach. North Carolina also has pictureperfect mountains that offer a variety of fall activities one can enjoy. With all this said, it’s no surprise that North Carolina is becoming one of the most popular places to live and relocate to.

Ready to kick off the fall season with a trip to one of North Carolina’s many picturesque spots? Don’t worry about a long car trip. Many of these locations are a few hours away and can easily be done for a lovely weekend getaway. Read on for North Carolina’s top five locations to plan a perfect fall excursion.

ASHEVILLE, NC Yes, this destination seems like a no brainer.

Asheville easily tops the list of a perfect spot to visit during the fall season. Best known for being a city for the hippies-at-heart, this lovely city is nestled in the Blue Ridge Mountains. Providing a perfect backdrop for a fall getaway, Asheville is also an excellent choice for outdoor enthusiasts.

From hiking, to tubing, to fly fishing, Asheville is filled with exciting outdoor activities to enjoy. This mountain city is also a great spot to view local art and enjoy music. It seems like around every corner, there is a spot to embrace the art scene.

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WILMINGTON, NC

DAVIDSON, NC

BLACK MOUNTAIN, NC

MT. AIRY, NC

This coastal city is home to beautiful beaches and a vibrant historic downtown. Not only does this seafaring city boast live music, breweries, and art museums, Wilmington also has an exciting history involving pirates and historical battles.

Why visit Wilmington in the fall? Not only are the temperatures still warm enough to sneak a trip or two to the beach, but the city can offer Halloween enthusiasts a chance to learn more about the darker side of history, with local ghost & pub tours.

This lakeside town, is another excellent location to visit for a fall getaway. The Davidson/Cornelius area offers many sports for the water enthusiasts wanting to enjoy a few last weeks of fun in the sun. Cornelius offers numerous marinas to make renting boats, jet skis, or paddleboards a breeze. Foodies will delight at the sight of Hello, Sailor, a waterfront restaurant and bar known for its hushpuppies, cocktails, and of course, Carolina shrimp Calabash plate.

Craving another mountain vacation this fall? Look no further than Black Mountain. Voted “America’s Prettiest Small Town” in 2017 by TripAdvisor, this city nestled 20 minutes outside of Asheville, is another excellent base to explore western North Carolina. Wanting to experience more time on the water this fall? Try renting a cabin on Lake Eden, where you can choose from treehouse-style cabins, rustic cabins, luxury cottages, or nostalgic campers. Lake Eden also hosts the adored LEAF festival every October. This colorful event is focused on music, culture, and art. Local craft breweries are also there for the brew loving travelers, including Lookout Brewing, Pisgah Brewing, and Black Mountain Brewing.

For those wanting to get away from bustling city life, Mt. Airy may be the perfect fall spot to enjoy a trip away. It provides the smalltown feel that many will enjoy. Not only is this city beautiful to view fall foliage, it also boasts a popular fall festival known as the “Mayberry Days.”

If you’re a fan of the classic Andy Griffith Show, then this is the festival for you. Over a week, guests can see characters from the show and enjoy fall activities that are sure to take one and all back to a simpler time of life.

Please check all events and locations for local COVID-19 restrictions.

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Ask about our Customer Loyalty Program | Call Ahead for Holiday, Inclement Weather & Special Event Hours October 2020 | 61

Loving the Change of the Season

“Autumn’s beauty does not depend on the temperature outside or the turning of the leaves. I don’t see it as a precursor to a long, dark, cold winter. Fall is the perfect season to find contentment at home by paying attention to what we already have. The simply daily rituals of home-making, baking, nesting, decorating, and preparing for the winter holidays ahead create a sense of peace with what we have right in front of us.” ~ Melissa Michaels I am thankful that I live in an area where I get to experience the changing of the seasons. After a long summer, it is so refreshing to feel the crispness of the air, see the beauty of the season as the leaves change their color, sip on hot apple cider, and smell pumpkin bread baking or soup simmering on the stove.

Fall invites you to participate in the season and gives you the opportunity to add touches to your décor that will help your family enjoy it more.

Adding fall décor doesn’t have to be complicated. Elements of nature are perfect additions.

Here are a few ideas of mine and some I found on Laura’s blog, The Turquoise Home (for pictures and more check out “11 ways to add FALL to your home” @theturquoisehome.com).

Pumpkins….stack, pile or nestle into a bed of fall foliage. A trip to the Pumpkin Patch is always a fun outing this time of year.

Apples…..use to decorate (place a bowl or basket of apples on your kitchen counter) or to eat. Fall means all things apple, like apple cider, apple pie, apple muffins, apple cake, and apple butter.

Chalkboards….add typography with a quote for the season…..

“Hello, Fall” done in chalkboard art is welcoming.

Check out the free printables on the blog ( 25 + gorgeous FREE FALL PRINTABLES).

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Natural elements……bring leaves, sticks, pinecones, acorns, etc. inside for free décor that packs a punch.

Burlap…. use it to make a wreath, a table runner or a bow. This textured fabric is perfect for fall. It makes me sneeze but I love the look.

Mums…..they are gorgeous to use inside and out. If you do nothing else but place them in a pretty pot or basket by the front door, their addition will say ‘fall’ is here!

Pillows…..choose from many fall themed ones online or in the stores.

Candy…..find a pretty candy dish and fill with candy corn.

Chili…..nothing says fall like a pot of chili simmering on the stove and your family will love it!

Plan a trip to the NC mountains to enjoy the foliage or to go to an orchard for apples….. always one of my favorite ways to celebrate this time of year. Happy fall, y’all!

I am scheduling appointments and due to COVID, I am being cautious.

I wear my mask and ask that my client wears theirs. Need help updating your décor and getting your home ready for the holiday? Call to schedule an appointment.

APPLE DAPPLE CAKE We lived in the North Georgia Mountains for 18 years and every fall we would drive across the mountain to Ellijay, the Apple Capital of Georgia, to buy apples. I loved to make this recipe, a family favorite, with the Rome Beauty variety.

1 ¼ cup Wesson Oil 2 cups sugar 3 eggs 3 cups all-purpose flour 1 tsp. baking soda ½ tsp. salt 2 tsp. vanilla 3 cups apples, peeled and chopped 1 cup coconut 1 cup chopped pecans

Preheat oven to 325. Grease and flour a tube pan. To ensure the cake doesn’t stick, I cut a piece of wax paper to fit the bottom of the pan.

You can mix together by hand. Mix oil and sugar with a whisk. Add eggs and vanilla. Combine flour, baking soda, and salt; add to oil mixture and mix with spoon until well blended.

Stir in apples, coconut and pecans.

Bake for 1 ½ hours @ 325.

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BY LAUREN SEPHTON After an exhausting day, you may find yourself dreading that extra time to cook dinner. Instead, try playing your favorite song to dance along to as you turn those thoughts into an exciting 30 minutes or less in the kitchen preparing a satisfying meal to share with your family or friends.

PIZZA ROLLS

Servings: 4-6 (12 rolls) | Prep Time: 15 minutes | Bake Time: 15 minutes Total Time: 30 minutes

ITALIAN BAKED ZITI

Servings: 6 | Prep Time: 5 minutes Bake Time: 25 minutes | Total Time: 30 minutes Ingredients: • 1/2 lb. Ground Italian Sausage • 12 oz. Ziti Pasta, or similar pasta • 14.5 oz. can Diced Tomatoes • 8 oz. Tomato Sauce • 1 cup Shredded Mozzarella Cheese • 1/2 cup Whole Milk • 1/2 cup Parmesan Cheese, freshly grated • 1 tsp. Extra Virgin Olive Oil • 4-5 Garlic Cloves, minced • 1 tbsp. Dried Italian Herbs • 1/2 tsp. each: Black Pepper, Salt, and Crushed Red Pepper Flakes Instructions: 1. Preheat oven to 500F. 2. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add in the pasta and cook until al dente. Drain and set aside.

3. In an oven-safe skillet over medium heat, add in the olive oil to warm up for 1 minute. Add in the ground sausage and cook until browned, about 3-5 minutes.

4. Toss in the minced garlic, red pepper flakes, and salt.

Cook for an additional 1-2 minutes, until the garlic is fragrant.

5. Add the diced tomatoes, tomato sauce, black pepper, and dried Italian herbs. Stir to combine, then reduce heat to simmer for 8-10 minutes.

6. Stir in the cooked and drained pasta, whole milk, and grated parmesan cheese. Evenly spread the shredded mozzarella on top and place in the oven to bake for 5-6 minutes, until the cheese has melted and is browning. Allow the dish to cool for at least 5 minutes.

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BLT CHICKEN SALAD

Servings: 6 | Total Time: 20 minutes Ingredients: • 6-8 cups Spring Mix / Salad Greens • 1 cup Cherry Tomatoes, halved • 8 Bacon Strips, cooked and crumbled • 1 lb. Chicken Breasts, boneless and skinless, cooked • 2 large Hard-Boiled Eggs, sliced • 1/2 cup Plain Greek Yogurt • 2 tbsp. Red Onion, finely chopped • 2 tbsp. Lemon Juice • 1 tbsp. Apple Cider Vinegar • 1/2 tsp. each: Salt and Black Pepper Instructions: 1. In a small mixing bowl, whisk together the plain Greek yogurt, finely chopped red onion, lemon juice, apple cider vinegar, salt, and black pepper. Add water to thin out the salad dressing to your preference.

2. Place the salad greens in a large mixing bowl, pour in half of the yogurt dressing and toss to combine.

3. Slice the cooked chicken breasts into bite-sized pieces, then sprinkle on top of the salad. Sprinkle the salad with the sliced hard-boiled eggs, cherry tomatoes, and bacon bits.

Drizzle with the remaining yogurt dressing to serve.

Ingredients: • 1/2 lb. Lean Ground Beef • 8 oz. can Tomato Sauce • 8 oz. tube Refrigerated Crescent Rolls • 1/2 cup Shredded Mozzarella Cheese • 2 Garlic Cloves, minced • 1 tsp. Extra Virgin Olive Oil • 1 tbsp. Dried Italian Herbs • 1/4 tsp. each: Salt and Black Pepper Instructions: 1. Preheat oven to 375F. 2. In a large skillet over medium heat, add in the olive oil and minced garlic. Cook for 1-2 minutes, until fragrant. Add in the ground beef and cook until no longer pink, about 8-10 minutes.

Drain any excess liquids.

3. Add in the tomato sauce, shredded mozzarella cheese, dried Italian herbs, salt, and black pepper.

4. Separate the crescent dough into 8 rectangles, pinching any seams together. Add 2-3 tablespoons of the meat mixture along one side of each rectangle.

Starting with the long side, roll up each rectangle, then slice into 3 pieces.

5. Place each roll seamside down and 2” apart on a baking pan lined with parchment paper.

Bake for 15-20 minutes, until golden brown.

Don’t worry about calling everyone to the kitchen when it’s ready because you may not even have enough time to set the table before they start sneaking in a few samples to devour!

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October 2020 | 65

Continues To Bring Affordable Health Care Coverage To The Triad

BY JULIE FRITZ

Shopping for health insurance can be overwhelming. We all know we need coverage, but you might not know where to start looking or what is available. It makes the most sense to find someone you can trust to guide you through this process.

Savers Health, headquartered on 4th Street in downtown Winston-Salem, is a local agency that can look at your specific needs and help you navigate which plans will be the best fit for you.

of Jerry, joined the Savers Health team. Their goal was to serve the NC community and they have been successful in helping over 3,000 members during 2020. This year Savers continued their local commitment by recently renovating space in the former Chamber of Commerce building, as well as signing a 10-year lease in downtown Winston-Salem. There is no doubt they want to serve the Piedmont.

A LOCAL LEGACY COMMITTED TO THIS COMMUNITY

Health Insurance Savers Health offers all creditable health insurance plans in North Carolina. If you are under the age of 65, you likely need a major medical or short-term medical policy. Major medical insurance is currently governed by the Affordable Care Act and offers pre-existing coverage, no waiting periods, and preventive services covered at no charge. Short-term medical coverage can protect you during a gap between your current health insurance and your next group plan or open enrollment. The short-term medical plans are not as rich in benefits as those under the Affordable Care Act but can have a significantly lower premium.

Savers Health started in 1981 as Savers Life Insurance Company, here in Winston-Salem. During the 1980s and 1990s, they expanded to offer Senior Health and Major Medical insurance products. In 1998, the business rebranded as Savers Marketing and named Winston-Salem native Jerry Francis as President. In 2010 when the Affordable Care Act passed, Savers Health was created to assist customers enrolling in the healthcare plans offered through the North Carolina marketplace. In 2010 Matt and Scott Francis, sons

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A VARIETY OF PRODUCTS AVAILABLE

Medicare Medicare is a federal health benefits program covering seniors age 65 and older, or individuals with certain disabilities. Savers Health can help you make sure you’re enrolled in the right plan to fit your individual situation.

Their locally licensed agents can also help you navigate your prescription drug coverage that can sometimes be complicated.

Life Insurance Savers Health offers term life, whole, and final expense life insurance plans to meet anyone’s needs in any phase of life. Their team has a great understanding of these policies and works with their clients to achieve their objectives.

Dental and Vision When you have an individual health insurance policy, you often have to add dental and vision insurance separately.

The team at Savers Health has got you covered with affordable plans to help you keep up with routine dental care and vision assessments.

In addition to an extensive list of products, Savers Health offers budgetfriendly plans, zero-cost advice, an easy application process, and next-day coverage. They represent numerous carriers, including Blue Cross Blue Shield of NC, UnitedHealthcare, Aetna, Humana, Cigna, and many more.

LICENSED AGENTS COMMITTED TO MEETING YOUR NEEDS Whether you need health coverage for your family, assistance evaluating your Medicare coverage, or you’re looking for term or whole life insurance, the licensed agents at Savers Health are here to guide you through the process.

Their team takes great pride in looking at each client’s unique situation to offer ideal product combinations to meet their needs. They do that with a commitment to customer service and a clear understanding of what is available.

The team at Savers Health is ready and available to discuss your health and life insurance needs. Savers Health is located at 601 West 4th Street, Suite 110, in downtown Winston-Salem. For more information, you can visit their website at savershealth.com or call them at 336-831-9121. Their agents are ready to help you explore the options that will meet your needs.

October 2020 | 67

Is Solo Travel for You?

BY AMY HILL

Are you dying to backpack through Europe, but none of your friends can take off work? Do you want to visit a National Park, but your husband hates the outdoors? With today’s technology and the endless amount of information available at our fingertips, why not go alone? Post-pandemic travel may require a bit more caution and forethought when choosing a destination, but people are still sowing their wild oats and looking to get away. If you are healthy, brave, and itching to explore, don’t wait for your friends or family members to free up their schedules before you book your flight.

I’ve been traveling alone as a female since I was 21 years old and have experienced the many ups and downs of solo travel.

Although it was intimidating at first (and terrifying to my parents), traveling solo has now become my passion. If you’ve been considering booking a trip, here are some tips to help you determine whether solo travel is right for you.

TABLE FOR ONE While traveling alone allows you to be free and follow your own itinerary without the input of others, don’t assume that every moment of your trip will be filled with fun and excitement. Battling loneliness (especially at night) is one of the most difficult parts of solo travel that I have encountered. After the adrenaline from exploring a new city has worn off at the end of the day, you may find yourself desperate for human interaction. On a positive note, you are guaranteed to meet friendly locals or tourists in local restaurants, breweries, or live music venues. If you’re lucky, you may even get a free drink! Due to COVID-19 rules and regulations, be sure to call the restaurant or venue ahead of time for information on operating hours. I recommend making a reservation when possible to ensure that you will be seated while restaurants are limiting capacity.

STAYING SAFE Aside from a creepy Uber driver in Munich, Germany, who asked me for a hug when he dropped me off at my destination, I’ve been fortunate enough to have very few safety concerns while traveling alone. I’ve found that most people are helpful and protective of solo female travelers.

Since carrying pepper spray or other small weapons for protection through TSA is not an option, common sense will be your best friend. Avoid walking alone at night (as much as possible), don’t leave your drinks unattended, and don’t broadcast that you’re flying solo to strangers. Pack plenty of face masks and hand sanitizer, and consider investing in an anti-theft bag or money belt if you will be walking around in crowded areas or taking public transportation. When traveling to a foreign country, prepare for the unexpected by researching emergency phone numbers and U.S. Embassy locations before you arrive.

WHERE TO NEXT? Certain destinations are better suited for solo travelers than others. While relaxing in the sun by the ocean all day may seem enticing when you’re booking your trip on a cold day in February, the last thing you want is to find yourself surrounded by newlyweds at an all-inclusive resort in the Caribbean. There will be plenty of opportunities in the future to travel with friends and loved ones, so why not choose a city that challenges you and pushes you out of your comfort zone? Consider whether the destination you’re interested in offers plenty of options for day trips, outdoor activities, or bus and walking tours to keep you occupied and entertained.

FINAL THOUGHTS Through solo travel, I have gained confidence, experiences I wouldn’t trade for the world, and great stories to share. If a two-week trip to Europe seems too overwhelming at first, start small by taking a quick weekend trip out of state. Go at your own pace and follow where your heart takes you - but don’t forget to wash your hands.

68 | ForsythWoman.com

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Top 5

BY ELISA

Tips

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for G

COPPED E

ettin

It always seems like such a simple task: going out the door to an event. It could be leaving for work, an event, a play date, church, etc. Yet while it may seem like an easy enough task, this activity is far from simple. Most adults feel some form of stress when it comes to trying to get out the door on time. There is always a long list of items that need to happen prior to the door even opening, that always seem to get in the way. Anything from choosing an outfit for the event, to changing a blowout diaper – unless one can see into the future, there is always something that can pop up and make us late.

With the 2020-2021 school year in full swing, it seems like now more than ever, we all can feel stress about leaving the house. While many of us may be working/teaching our children at home (thank you COVID-19), we still need to get out of the house to run our usual errands, etc. And those with children seem to know all too well, that this “simple task” can be incredibly daunting, especially now that it seems we have to carry a small arsenal of “COVID-19 protection gear.” From our face masks, to our hand sanitizers, to our gloves, today’s quick outing can become quite a long one.

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g ou

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TIP #3: LAY OUT YOUR CLOTHING THE NIGHT PRIOR.

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As the holiday season approaches, it is vital to maximize every minute. From shopping, to decorating, this is the time of the year, when getting out the door is extremely important.

Looking for a few tips on how to get out of the door on time? Read on for five tips sure to make this intimidating task, simple again.

TIP #1: PREPARE, PREPARE, PREPARE. Do not leave items that can be done the night before, until the morning. Whether it is packing your bagged lunch for work, or mixing formula into your baby’s bottles for daycare, it is extremely time savvy to do these quick items the night prior. Preparing beforehand will also give you extra time to react if you realize a surprise on your calendar for the next day.

TIP #2: THE EARLY BIRD DOES CATCH THE WORM! Yes, getting up early is a simple way to make getting out the door easy again. While it is very tempting to hit the snooze button a few times (we all do it), try and get up earlier than you normally do. With this extra time, you’re able to enjoy your morning again, and maybe even sneak in an extra activity (like go for a morning run or do an online yoga workout).

e

Just like when you were in school, planning out your outfit the night before can greatly save you time.

This can be especially true when you also want to sneak in a trip to the gym (assuming they are open) as well. We have all done the morning clothes hunt. This is super not fun when trying to get out the door on time.

Why add stress when this item can be done beforehand?

TIP #4: PUT YOURSELF AHEAD OF THE KIDDOS. While this may sound rude, it is not at all. Many of us rush out of bed to help get our toddler ready for daycare, and then we are scrambling to put on an outfit and head out the door. This method rarely works. Instead, get yourself ready first and then take care of the others in your household.

TIP #5: HELP YOURSELF AND PUT ITEMS IN EASY TO REMEMBER SPOTS. If it seems like you’re always running back into the house for X, Y, or Z, then eliminate this stress. Place this item right by the door, or even better, the car. If you’re always running back in for your favorite sunglasses, why not leave them in the glove compartment? That way, you avoid having to run back in, adding more time to the already ticking clock.

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October 2020 | 71

RESURRECTION DAY

BY JAMIE GADSON

Jaimie Gadson was assaulted in Winston-Salem on April 3, 2017, a day she now refers to as her Resurrection Day. A little more than two years later, after hearing her powerful testimony, The Alliance for HOPE, which helps start Family Justice Centers around the country, flew her out to San Diego to share her story at its national conference. Jamie’s story of survival was met with thunderous applause and a standing ovation. Jaime is now working with Family Services to promote Domestic Violence Awareness Month and help bring a Family Justice Center model to Forsyth County.

I was sitting at the table. I wanted to be in a quiet space because I knew he was in one of his moods. I thought that if I just removed myself, he would not take it out on me.

The children had gone upstairs and I was downstairs by myself sitting at the table.

When he came into the room, I could feel his energy, but I said not a word. He sat down beside me. I could feel his eyes beaming at me, but I was not going to stir him up. He looked at me with all the anger that was in his heart and said, “I’m sick of you.”

Then he pushed me onto the floor — in my own kitchen — and he climbed on top of me and placed both of his hands around my

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throat and began squeezing and shaking.

I could hear them, and I knew I had to tell them something. “They think I’m dead. I have to tell them I’m OK.”

I was in shock.

“Why? Why would you do this to me?” I thought. “Don’t you love me?

Why would you hurt me?”

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out but mumbles. I could hear it in my own ears, but it didn’t make sense. Why couldn’t I talk? Let me get up off the garage floor and let them know Momma’s OK. But my body was dead weight. I couldn’t move my arms. I couldn’t move my legs. “What’s happening to me? I have to let them know I’m OK.”

As I looked at his eyes, piercing through me, I thought, “The first time he did this, he released already.

Why hasn’t he released me yet?” Then I thought, “He’s going to kill me.”

So I’m lying there moaning, probably making it even more terrifying for them.

I told myself, “I’ve got to fight back this time.” I began swinging and hitting him in the face. Scratching his face. I knew he would let go, but he did not stop. He just locked in even tighter and continued to shake.

I went to the hospital. My children didn’t recognize me, because of the blood in my eyes and the heaviness on my heart. I was numb.

I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to put the pieces of my life back together. But someone told me I might want to look into counseling, and I found Family Services.

I felt my hands fall to the floor and everything went black.

I didn’t know, but he took my body and drug it through our kitchen and laid my body in the garage next to my car.

I wasn’t aware of what was happening.

When I finally came to — when I finally opened my eyes, which I could barely do, I heard my children screaming — all three of my sons — I could hear their feet running back and forth and screaming, “What’s wrong with Momma? What’s happening with Momma?”

Then my father — I heard my father come in — and he placed his hand on my shoulder and said, “It’s gonna’ be OK, baby.”

I stopped moaning. I stopped thrashing around. I just lay there — finally in a place of peace.

And I go, and here are all these people who are so willing and so open to say, “I can help you. I can give you some tools. I can point you in the direction to put all these pieces back together.”

There were these advocates who brought hope, and there were these other survivors who are sharing their stories, and I could speak to them and ask, “It happened to you, too? And you’re OK? You’re not crazy?

I’m not crazy?”

It let me know that it is possible to survive after trauma. I didn’t think it was possible.

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October 2020 | 73

Defining Innovation

BY ADELE CASANOVA

Innovation is a popular buzz word in our world of entrepreneurship and technical wonders. But what does it mean to innovate something, and how is it different from creating something?

Oxford Languages Dictionary defines creating as “bring (something) into existence.” In other words, to bring into being something entirely new and as of yet nonexistent. To innovate is defined as to “make changes in something established, especially by introducing new methods, ideas or products.” In other words, innovation is the act of introducing something new, not creating something new, but rather, applying something already created to a new application.

We see innovation present in products, services, and processes we use every day. Businesses innovate new products or updated versions of products continually, such as cell phones and electric automobiles. Services such as Netflix are groundbreaking innovations in ways we entertain ourselves. Online shopping (Amazon), social media (Facebook), and on-demand transportation (Uber) are great examples of innovative processes that have forever changed our lives.

How does innovation come about? First, there must be a realization of a need, a problem, or an unfulfilled desire for something better.

Recognizing the need and articulating it are the critical beginning steps in innovation. This is followed by research into the “why” of the need or problem. What is missing, what could be better, and would the innovation be of value? This thought process leads to ideas of “what” could be done, which existing products or processes could be combined, streamlined, or re-imagined to improve on the problem? Then a determination as to whether the problem could indeed be improved is made. Before engaging in innovative steps, is there enough motivation to carry it through? Is there value in the innovation? Finally, there is an all-important step in the process of innovation, the decision, and commitment to proceed. If it is determined that there is value in continuing the innovative process, only then is it wise to proceed with the implementation of any new product design, testing, and production, or any new process strategies.

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The last steps in innovating a new product, process, or service are to put the newly innovative ideas into use and to confirm with data tracking that success has been achieved in solving the problem or fulfilling the need first identified.

More examples of innovation include bagless vacuum cleaners, email communication, Airbnb, paper straws, and Kindle. There are thousands more! Many innovative items, services, and processes continue to undergo additional innovation as consumers demand newer, faster, lighter, more convenient, more cost-effective, and eco-friendly products and services.

Two main components are always present in successful innovation: independent creative problem solving and resulting value to consumers and society.

Innovation is not restricted just to big companies.

Small business owners and independent entrepreneurs can be innovative in creatively solving business problems and fulfilling their customers’ needs. Innovation could be applied in customer service routines and standards, to product use in tweaking “just so” to the tastes of customers, and creative price shopping and inventory methods. Individual people can be innovative in their personal lives as well.

How many parents have innovated new ways to accommodate their children’s needs while creating a successful home environment for the entire family? Who knew that we are all potential innovators in our unique personal lives!

Remember to see a need or problem, ask why it exists, what are options to remedy it, and will it be of value to my life and my family to attempt to innovate a solution? Then ask yourself, “Am I motivated to see the innovation through to the end? To be dedicated to the process of change?” If the value is there to go forward, then commit to the decision to proceed. For example, consciously make the changes needed, such as changing shopping and eating habits and replacing them with new behaviors, or changing the children’s’ bedtime routine to establish a calmer household. After implementing new habits and processes, ask yourself, is it helping, or do I need to tweak the new behaviors for better results?

Be on the look-out for signs of innovation all around you, at work, at play, and at home!

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October 2020 | 75

7 Lessons Harry Potter Taught Us Summer is a big reading time for me. I can read book after book. This past summer, I spent my time reading all seven of the Harry Potter novels, discovering that there is much more to the wizarding world than many people think. Not only does the famous Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry teach potions, herbology, and more, the school also teaches life lessons that were passed to the readers through J.K. Rowling’s writing. For this month’s article, I decided to go another route and focus on the 7 lessons that the Harry Potter series has taught us.

Good versus Evil: Scrap away all of the details and the basis of the series’ plot is good versus evil. Harry Potter, his friends, professors, and more are working together to defeat Lord Voldemort, a dark magic wizard who has plans to take over the magical community and rid it of anyone who is a Muggle-born (no magical parents) or half-bloods (only one parent is magical). In the end (spoiler alert) Harry and his gang defeat Voldemort, returning the world to normal. In reality, this lesson can encourage us to always fight for what is good and to work towards making not only our own lives better, but the lives of those around us.

Good versus evil can be an internal choice that we choose to make on a daily basis. One of my favorite quotes from the book series is from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: “We’ve all got light and dark inside of us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are.”

Love Triumphs All: The reason Harry Potter survived Voldemort’s first attack at a year old is because of his mother’s love. His mother sacrificed herself and when Voldemort tried to kill Harry, her love won over evil. At the end of the series, Harry sacrifices himself to end the Battle of Hogwarts and prevent others from dying. Love triumphs over all is 76 | ForsythWoman.com

a lesson we can all use. It is about being kind to each other; treating others with respect; agreeing that we may disagree. I think we can all agree on one thing though – the world could use more love.

Our Actions Show Who We Are: Professor Albus Dumbledore once said “It is our choices, Harry, that show who we truly are, far more than our abilities.” In reality, our actions give a better description of who a person actually is, their personality, and values. It is like the phrase “Action speak louder than words.”

BY MEGAN TAYLOR

Remember to Live in the Present: In the first book, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Harry discovers the Mirror of Erised, which, according to Dumbledore, shows people their “deepest, most desperate desires of their hearts.” For Harry, he saw his parents in that mirror. In return, Dumbledore told him “It does not do well to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” We only get one life, so why waste it? It is important to remember the past, but it is also important to make the most of the present.

Friends Can Become Family: Harry Potter was orphaned at an early age. His friends from school and their families quickly became his. This lesson shows us that family isn’t always blood relatives, but can be those you love and that love you in return.

Happiness Can Always be Found: Another poignant quote from Professor Dumbledore is “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” This quote has never been truer than this year, 2020. Moments of happiness are all around us; we just have to pay attention to them.

We All Have Courage Inside Us: One of Harry’s friends, Neville Longbottom, was known for being less than strong in his beginning years at Hogwarts. However, by the end of the books, Neville became a key figure in taking down Lord Voldemort. His actions are an example of how we all have courage inside of us; it may just take time for that courage to fully develop and shine.

There are many quotes I love from the Harry Potter series and I could spend pages explaining why. These seven books are timeless, full of adventure and meaning. No matter how many times a person reads them, they will always get something new out of the books. Just be sure to say at the end of every reading, “Mischief Managed.”

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719 Coliseum Drive • Winston-S alem • 336.724.6132 • Ry ansRestaurant.com

BY ROSEY, PHOTOS BY PHOTO ARTISTRY BY MELINDA

Ryan’s Restaurant has been a Winston-Salem tradition for over 40 years. It’s a place where people go to celebrate special occasions or milestones. Or meet up with friends because it’s Tuesday. Frankly, Ryan’s is always a great idea! Their service is second to none, and the ambiance is warm and welcoming without pretension. It’s always a treat when Ryan’s shows up on my review list! I know I’m in for a great meal, and if owner Dennis Carter is nearby, he’ll likely stop by to check-in. And such a friendly, nice guy! Everyone at Ryan’s is awesome!

We started our meal with soup. Admittedly, I’m quite familiar with the French Onion Soup served by Ryan’s, but it is a restaurant reviewer’s due diligence to do quality spot checks, so I took one for the team and licked the bowl clean – I mean, I verified that it’s still excellent. In all seriousness, I’ve said it before – NO ONE in the Triad makes French Onion Soup the way Ryan’s does. It is exceptional.

We also sampled the She Crab Soup. I’ll restrain myself from the ultimate dad joke about how they can tell which crabs are shes and simply get to the main point…. If you love crab, you’ll love this soup. It’s not fishy tasting at all, but it’s creamy with large chunks of fresh crab and delicious. A big winner any time of year!

Appetizers were next, and to be honest – it’s hard to look at the Ryan’s appetizer menu and make a choice. It’s all incredible. But our server, a super sweet guy named Jeff, brought us out a few things to try. The first was the Heirloom Cherry Tomato Caprese. How is it that such basic ingredients in the hands of the right culinary team exceed everything you know to be true about the overall goodness of a Caprese salad? It is proof positive that quality of ingredients matters, and certainly, Ryan’s sources the very best. Fresh mozzarella and cherry tomatoes are drizzled with pumpkin seed pesto and a balsamic reduction. In a word – divine.

Next, we enjoyed a plate of Ryan’s Colossal Lump Crab Meat. Seriously y’all – it again goes back to quality ingredients! This is a plate of large chunk crab meat served with lemon and cocktail sauce. You may be tempted to sneak this one for yourself, but save room! More is coming!

Our third and final appetizer was the Toasted Phyllo Wrapped Brie. Elegance on a plate, my friends. Drizzled with local honey and a balsamic reduction, this appetizer is served with Granny Smith apples, walnuts, and crackers. It’s a personal favorite!

We moved on to salads, and don’t think for a moment that it’s a simple, basic salad. First of all, these salads are a work of art. Plus, all the dressings are house-made and absolutely delicious. Our first salad was the Ryan’s Signature Salad, and it was served with Ryan’s vinaigrette. This one was a savory salad and included greens, bacon, onion, gorgonzola, mushrooms, tomato, and cucumber.

Add some protein to this one, and you’ve got a healthy and delicious supper!

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Next, we had the Seasonal Salad, which is made of hydroponic bibb lettuce, which is so tender good. It’s lettuce! Who would think that lettuce can make such a difference, right? But I love this kind of lettuce! It was served with goat cheese, almonds, dried cranberries, and topped with a tangy pomegranate vinaigrette. There is a sweet and sour element that makes this salad one-of-a kind!

Finally, our last salad was my favorite – the Spinach Salad was so good!

Baby spinach was topped with figs, pumpkin seeds, and champagne vinaigrette! I loved the figs in this salad. I thought they were the perfect accompaniment to the fresh spinach!

We moved on to our entrees, and while we were getting full, we persevered! Up first – Chilean Sea Bass! No one makes sea bass the way Ryan’s does! It’s seared with crispy edges and melt-in-yourmouth deliciousness. It’s the perfect fish for those who don’t really love seafood, because it’s not fishy tasting. It was fabulous and served over basmati rice with fresh asparagus and then topped with pineapple salsa.

Un. Be. Liev. Able.

We enjoyed one more sample from the sea – a Cold Water Lobster Tail!

Meaty and delicious, presentation is also an important part of this Ryan’s classic! Our lobster tail was served with spicy collard greens (which I could eat a pound of!) and a squash medley. It also came with a side of melted, clarified butter. So good!

Switching to land, we had Rack of Lamb. Lamb is one of those dishes that I’ll eat when it’s served to me, and I like it, but I don’t typically order it.

However, since I’ll be visiting Ryan’s again soon for my wedding anniversary, I may very well choose this one. This lamb is bred in New Zealand and hands down – it was the most tender and flavorful lamb I’ve ever eaten. It was so incredible; I just couldn’t get enough of it! Of course, you can’t have lamb without mint jelly, and in addition to that – we enjoyed scalloped potatoes and spinach. Beyond delicious!

Y’all know that I’m a steak girl, and no one does steak better than Ryan’s.

We had the Steak Au Poivre, which was served medium rare and covered in a decadent cognac cream sauce and cracked black pepper. Holy moly, was that a phenomenal steak! This steak is precisely why I tend to have a love-hate relationship with this column. I love that I get to sample these amazing meals, but I hate that I have to share them. We enjoyed our steak with a traditional baked potato. And Ryan’s, of course, never does anything halfway. These are my favorite kinds of baked potatoes because the skin has been crusted with salt, and it’s loaded with all the classic potato toppings!

We rounded out the night with four desserts. We’ll start with the Frozen Bananas Foster Ice Cream Pie. Stunningly beautiful and absolutely delicious. It’s a brilliant display of flavors that any ice cream lover will be excited about!

Next, we sampled the Triple Chocolate Cake. To be honest, as much as I like chocolate cake, I rarely ever order chocolate desserts in a restaurant. They are usually so rich, I can barely get past a few bites. But the highest compliment I can give Ryan’s is that the cake was moist, and while it was rich, it wasn’t so rich that it choked the eater with chocolate.

Two thumbs up – best chocolate dessert I’ve had in a restaurant!

Our publisher, Brooke Eagle, joined us for this review, and since Crème Brulee is her favorite dessert, I let her have the majority and only took a bite (you’ll find out why in a minute when I start talking about MY favorite). But the Crème Brulee is everything it’s supposed to be. Crunchy burnt part – check. Creamy and rich – check. Shareable – optional. Perfection.

When it comes to my favorite desserts, I’m always happiest with some kind of fresh berries. Not only are they delicious, but I get to pretend that the fruit offsets the dessert part. And so Fresh Seasonal Berries in a Caramel Pecan Shell. And this is why I was content to let Brooke bogart the Crème Brulee. I was bogarting the berries. I can’t tell you how much I love this dessert. It’s so simple, but so good. I don’t know how on earth they make that caramel pecan shell, but whoever is the culinary mastermind behind it – from the bottom of my very full stomach – thank you.

And that’s a wrap! Another Rosey’s in the books and another exceptional meal-turned-fond-memory! Make one for yourself now! Go soon and let them know that Rosey sent ya!

October 2020 | 79

The Other Side

“No of ”

BY JEAN MARIE JOHNSON

No way.

No, not me.

No, that’s not right.

No. Ouch, ouch, ouch! The word “No” gets a bad rap for being the ultimate negation.

Many of us are uncomfortable with this tiny utterance because we fear sounding rude, appearing unhelpful, or coming across as an abrupt curmudgeon. Besides, as women especially, we were told that saying no was a no-no because, well, it just wasn’t nice.

But there is another side to No, one that, in the yin and yang of things, acts more like a resounding Yes! Instead of saying No right now, consider that No can be a good thing: When we use No to resist or reject something that doesn’t serve us, No is a good thing. We say No to our less-thanhealthy habits so that we can say Yes to those that serve us well. “Ice cream to satisfy that sweet tooth? No, I think I’ll go with the fresh berries, thanks.”

When we call on our No to reject a toxic person or relationship, No is a good thing. By freeing ourselves from the emotional and psychological drain of a person with major issues, we can focus our attention and energy on people who fire us up, support us, and don’t have a need to make us feel bad.

When we call on our No to help us focus on our vision, values, or goals, No is a good thing. We can’t be, do, or have everything. When we say No to some things, we create the space we need to fill our lives with what matters most to us.

And here’s the behemoth: When we call on our No to serve from our strengths and gifts and allow others to serve from theirs, No is a good thing.

Organizational psychologist Adam Grant says it beautifully: “No makes your Yes more meaningful…It makes you more of a

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specialist rather than a generalist in what you give to others.” Okay, so I warned you that this one is loaded. As much as we might want to scooch underneath the nearest table, or disappear into the woodwork, we often say Yes to a request simply because it seems like the “right” thing to do. We disavow other considerations such as our skills, abilities, gifts, other commitments, and priorities, and murmur an obligatory Yes. For many, saying No goes beyond a matter of courtesy; it flies in the face of what it means to be generous and kind.

Dr. Judith Sills in The Power of No invites us to reconsider our relationship with No: “No is both the tool and the barrier by which we establish and maintain the distinct perimeter of the self. No says, ‘This is who I am; this is what I value; this is what I will and will not do; this is how I will choose to act.’ We love others, give to others, cooperate with others, and please others, but we are, always and at the core, distinct and separate selves. We need No to carve and support that space.”

I learned the necessity of No the hard way. As an aunt blessed with two grandnieces, I hope to pass on a healthy model of what it means to carve out and support that sacred space. Once we empower ourselves to understand that No is a

matter of personal integrity, we free ourselves to embrace No as a good thing.

We can learn to express our No’s in ways that feel more kind and respectful. Consider: I can’t What I’d be happy to do is…

I’d like to, but I’ve already committed to…

I’m not able to take that on right now I am uncomfortable with that How about this instead?

Or, as Shelly Tygielski of Mindful observes: “Learning to say ‘no’ and letting it hang out there all alone in its glory is a small kind of superpower.”

You decide.

Pretty In Pink

October 2020 | 81

Getting off the ...

when you don’t have anything to do

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

“I NEED” STATEMENTS

Remember going places?

While much of the world remains paused in a new space, one of the biggest changes has been working from home. Companies like REI, Twitter, Facebook, and more are changing over to work from home environments where time that used to be part of your silent commute to listen to NPR, podcasts, or music is now seemingly incorporated into the workday. This might be ok if you didn’t like your commute…but what happens to the excuse you had to get off the phone?

• “Oh, just running into the office! Gotta go!”

• “Pulling up to the gas station, talk to you later!”

• “We’re about to leave for dinner; I have to let you go!”

Now what? How do you get off the phone when you don’t have anything to do?

There are a few ways, both assertive…and not…that can get you off the phone if you struggle to end the conversation.

These can work with either professional or personal connections, so see what fits your personality best and give them a try!

An easy way to get off the phone is almost always offering an “I need” statement. You have something difficult to debate – you need to do something – and followed by a need. This could be, “I need to get on another call” or “I need to check on something outside” or “I need to go to the bathroom.”

This statement is similar to the one you use in networking and small talk situations – when you would like to exit a conversation, a need is a solid way to do it.

SET THE TIME This one needs to be done at the beginning of the conversation – if you know you’re hopping on with someone who talks a lot or has a hard time ending conversations or picking up verbal cues, you can set the time in the beginning.

Saying something like “I have to be off the phone by 2:30” or “I only have a half-hour” will get you off the phone and on to your next thing. While this can also be used in the center or end of a call, it’s often most effective at the beginning, as a lot of people like to talk through any time boundaries that you might attempt to put up.

BE HONEST AND PLAN Saying that you have to get going isn’t negative – you can add time to set up a follow-up call to continue the conversation.

When you’re working with a person that doesn’t seem to breathe between sentences (a common place to jump in and comment), you can excuse yourself, say that you would love to continue talking, but have to get going and suggest another time to connect. This addition of “next time” often helps the person understand that you aren’t bailing on them, you are looking to continue the conversation.

INTERRUPTING IS OK! Sometimes it’s hard to get the other person to either stop talking or to give you a moment – this is especially true when someone is excited or nervous about whatever they are talking about. The person that doesn’t often offer space for another to talk is usually either caught up in their own story or feelings, or just relieved to get information out – and in that case, isn’t always even very aware of the other people in the conversation, or needs they might have! Find a place for you to choose to interrupt, apologize for interrupting, and use one of the strategies already mentioned.

Remember, if you need to leave or end the conversation, you aren’t helping anyone by staying in it and getting more and more anxious as time goes on. Help everyone and be honest!

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New Balance

WomanCare

October 2020 | 83

Fear as a Success Tool

BY ADELE CASANOVA

Nobody wants to experience fear. We all have a negative association with fear, and, seriously, who wants to live in a life ruled by fear? No one! But fear is a necessary, natural human response to danger. It is an effective warning system of something imminent that may cause us harm. Fear is an emotion that registers when we sense a threat, real or imagined.

We experience not only an emotional response to fear but also a physical and psychological response. With the experience of fear comes the potential weakening of the immune system, possible damage to physical health, and a loss of hope. Sounds pretty bad, right?

But there is an upside to fear, and we can use that positive aspect to propel us toward success.

FEAR AS A MOTIVATOR Fear motivates us to act. It is a stimulus to change behavior in response to the threat of harm. It is this response to fear that can create positive steps toward success. In a very obvious example, if you are swimming across a lake and tire halfway across and fear you may drown, changing your behavior from thrashing and panicking in the water to flipping over on your back and allowing yourself to float for a few seconds to rest and catch your breath, could reduce your fear of drowning, and very possibly save your own life.

Fear can be a powerful motivation to reassess our behavior and focus on changing it for the better. Imagine the fear one might experience at the potential loss of a job or the failure of a small business venture in which someone has invested her life savings.

Such loss of financial security is powerful! Freezing like a “deer in headlights” would not be a productive response to this type of fear.

Instead, conscious reassessment of behavior and the determined thought process needed to create new behavior could result in reversing the fear causing threat.

THINK, REIMAGINE, INNOVATE When the fear of loss is powerful enough, the creative human mind can begin to think differently, reimagine the path, and innovate new strategies. It is critical to be able to stop, breathe, and focus, to identify the fear and understand what is causing it. Only then can one move forward to behave in a way to reverse circumstances to eliminate the fear.

During the Great Depression in American history, Franklin D. Roosevelt famously said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. Nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.” Meaning that unthinking, paralyzing reaction to fear, instead of conscious reimagining of behavior to eliminate the source of the fear, is our greatest threat. He was referring to people rushing to banks to withdraw all their money, creating worse financial harm to our society. Instead, a slower, more calculated approach was to temporarily close banks and allow Congress to legislate recovery steps to protect the fragile economy. The great fear of financial loss first caused panic and potential greater damage, but instead, using that fear to pause, and re-legislate banking and financial laws resulted in the beginning of recovery.

Not only is fear a great motivator towards success through the practice of an advanced level of thinking, it is also a powerful learning tool. As we go through life, we will all meet with fear many times, and each time we make the effort to face it head-on and reverse it through innovative thinking and purposeful changes in behavior, we will become mentally stronger and nimbler in our thinking.

This is where “learning from our experiences” comes in.

FEAR AS A WARNING SYSTEM So, let us redefine fear from being just a negative emotion to be avoided at all cost, into a much-needed warning system that we can use to actually improve our lives, help us recover from harm, avoid potential harm, grow and prosper.

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How to Turn Any Room Into a Study/Work Space

BY LAUREN SEPHTON

With an incredible 42% of Americans working from home full-time and expectancy to grow in 2021, the already fine line between a work-life balance becomes thinner every day.

With the ease of technology and working at home in today’s world, it’s time to revamp that extra space or room into a dynamic study area to minimize distractions and keep focused.

LET’S START WITH A FEW BASICS IN CHOOSING THE LOCATION OF YOUR NEW STUDY/WORK SPACE. First, choose a small nook area or spare room to begin the stunningly easy and impressive transformation process. If you are stumped with no additional rooms, take a quick look around the house, asking yourself, “How often do I properly utilize this space?” Often, you’ll find some awkward spaces that are perfect for the creation of a study/ work space. Even a bookshelf or rarely-used table can be doubled into a workspace with a little DIY inspiration from Pinterest. For instance, you can reconfigure the backside of a bookshelf into a table with L-brackets or make a DIY school wall with a little chalkboard paint from a hardware store.

Second, invest in a work desk and a supportive chair that’ll support your back. Try not to get the chair too low, or the desk too high, since resting your arms up higher may lead to neck aches or headaches. Try to avoid working in your bed, no matter how warm and cozy you find that duvet cover. Even if you try your absolute hardest to resist, it typically leads to the ultimate temptation of a much-needed nap.

Third, try clearing space near your window to maximize the amount of natural light while working during the day, which should help keep you focused. If you have a special situation where you can’t set-up near a window, you can simply mimic natural light with ‘cool white’ or with ‘bluish light’ lamp bulbs. The yellow light bulbs often cast shadows, which make it difficult to focus. Also, try having layers of light to keep your eyes from straining. For instance, enjoy an ambiance with both overhead lights and lamps.

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Fourth, utilize the wall space to hang schedules and calendars, urgent reminders, study notes, and so on.

Similarly, hang photos or decorative short quotes that’ll keep you inspired throughout those longer work periods.

Think about what makes you happy and hang it!

Fifth, maximize storage to keep organized and tidy. By keeping the bare essentials only on your desk, you will inevitably need additional storage nearby for any textbooks, paperwork, etc. Whether you prefer shelving or bookcases, ensure it is easily accessible and sorted properly to prevent extensive time wasted searching for what’s needed.

TIPS ON STAYING PRODUCTIVE AT HOME 1. Keep tidy. Studies have shown that a clean work environment helps improve mental focus and productivity. Ready for this? Cleaning could help relieve a little stress, promoting a little relaxation before starting your day. Also, keeping only the essentials on your desk can keep you from becoming overwhelmed throughout the day.

2. Set aside entertainment distractions. Avoid any temptations by turning off social media notifications during the day, placing your phone five feet away, keeping the TV background noise off, etc.

Instead, consider playing soft classical or instrumental music in the background if you need a little noise to stay focused.

3. Get dressed. Although your coworkers may not be able to see you working all day in your comfy pajamas, studies show that individuals tend to be more awake and productive when they are dressed. Think about the times you may have worn something that may have perked up your step a bit – you usually feel better when you know you look better.

Whether you are working or studying at home these days, success is on the (virtual) horizon with these tips in mind!

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October 2020 | 87

Green-Thumbs-Gone-Wrong Anonymous: TIPS ON DECORATING WITH ARTIFICIAL PLANTS

BY TARYN JEREZ

When the succulent and cactus craze first hit, it was made for me...or so I thought.

Here were tiny, easy-to-care-for plants with very little chance of meeting their untimely death, as had the many plants that had come before them. I purchased an array of sizes and colors with trendy little planters to pot them in and scatter around the house. I felt like my green thumb was ready to make its appearance and, perhaps, was just a late bloomer.

Sadly, to my disappointment, that green thumb of mine never did quite pull through, and a few months later, gone were the vibrant plump so-called “easy-to-carefor” plants I had such high hopes for. In return, however, I decided to add that fresh greenery look to my decor another way!

SOMETIMES YOU’VE GOT TO FAKE IT TO MAKE IT… If you are also part of Green-Thumbs-Gone-Wrong Anonymous, you may love the idea of adding fresh greenery and textured earthy accents throughout your space, but just can’t seem to keep plants alive.

Introducing a love for artificial plants that don’t look all that artificial at all! Finding the right types of artificial plants to highlight your decor can give you that gift of greenery without the task of trying to keep a plant alive.

(After all, who has time for all those sad plant funerals?)

Alive or fake, plants bring life into a space and can really change up your decor, so finding the right fit for both indoor and outdoor needs is important.

SCOPE OUT YOUR SPACE. Are you hoping to pack a punch when you greet visitors at your front door with a seasonal wreath? Maybe you want to add a bright and cheerful flower arrangement to your office desk? Think about each of the areas in your space that you’d like to add a plant and give some thought to how you will place it. All of these details matter as it will help you make decisions on the quality

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of the plant itself and the way you display it. Will this plant be high up in a hanging planter or on a countertop in close range? If higher up, you can crumble some newspaper in the pot to give your artificial plant some height and leave it as is, where a lower placed plant you can add some soil or stones to hide the fake base and have it look more realistic.

WAIT, YOU MEAN THOSE AREN’T REAL? One of my favorite things to hear when people come over to our home are the comments on the plants we have around the house and their shock when I tell them they aren’t real. When choosing artificial plants or flowers, look for details that give away the fact that they are fake.

For example, plastic stems that are too thin for the rest of the plant, sublimated printing on leaves that look computer-generated or too painted on, overdone gloss, inability to bend leaves or shape them, and anything else that just seems a little too manmade. Your best plants will be those that have added texture to the leaves or stems, are made of rubber or silk rather than plastic, have a fake soil or dirt base, and aren’t too firm or too flimsy but right in the middle.

GET YOUR GARDEN SECTION SHOP ON! Now that you know what to look for and what to consider, you’ll want to head out to start shopping! Some of the best bargains you can find for quality artificial plants can be found at big box craft stores like Joann Fabrics and Michaels. Often these retailers will have large sales on these sections of their inventory, as well as the ability to apply a 50% coupon. Additionally, you can check out discount retailers like TJ Maxx, Marshalls, and HomeGoods as well, especially for season-specific looks!

If you are looking for a vast assortment, you can head online to nearlynaturals.com or etsy.com as well.

Don’t forget that if you’re missing that green thumb, it’s ok to seek a little help. Find the pieces that work best for your home or office, and who knows? No one may be able to spot the difference!

iHeart Radio

October 2020 | 89

Five Secrets of Effective Retail Merchandising

BY ADELE CASANOVA

Effective merchandising is critical to retail success and influences what, how much, and how often consumers purchase. Correctly done, retail merchandising can increase add-on sales (sales of items the consumer did not originally come in the store to buy), turn shoppers into customers, and influence repeat visits to a retail establishment. Let’s break down each aspect of successful retail merchandising.

VISUAL APPEAL This is perhaps the most important aspect of retail merchandising.

The visual appeal of a retail environment is the first thing shoppers notice and can go a long way in creating an exceptional shopping experience. Visual appeal consists of creative displays, adequate lighting, and unexpected, eye-catching props and streamlined signage. Creative displays using complementary color schemes that incorporate a variety of appealing textures are pleasing to shoppers and can draw attention. Adequate lighting is critical to successful visual appeal, especially if spotlighting trending merchandising.

Unexpected props in a display can draw consumer attention. Think of a giant stuffed giraffe in a display of nursery furniture. And lastly, easy to read, simple signage is critical in pulling in the consumer.

Signage should continue the color scheme of the display or be in the store’s branding colors. Signs should be in large easy to read fonts, be concise in word count and preferably not be handwritten. It is best to use as few signs as possible, placed in obvious position to catch the consumer’s eye. Sale price signage should include the original and the sale price so consumers can appreciate the potential savings, encouraging purchases.

STORE LAYOUT Ever notice that the sale items are always in the rear of the store? This encourages bargain hunters to walk through the regularly priced merchandise to get to the discounts. For a small retail store with a destination product, such as a bakery/coffee shop, the main item, coffee, should be placed at the end of the bakery case, requiring consumers to walk past the baked temptations to order their drinks. For large department stores, placing popular, often impulse items at the entrance, such as cosmetics and perfume, can distract shoppers before they get deep into the store, and hopefully create add-on sales. Tying window displays of trending merchandise to a well-planned store layout encourages consumers to walk past additional items. Store layout should be easy to navigate, not cramped. Keeping the checkout area clear of cumbersome displays is key to consumer satisfaction, and placing displays parallel, not perpendicular to the store entrance, invites customers to enter.

And lastly, easy to follow directional signage directs consumers to checkout areas, dressing rooms, and restrooms.

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PRODUCT PLACEMENT How items are placed in relation to each other influences add-on purchases. Grouping like items and complementary items together helps consumers make brand and price-based decisions, as well as imagine new uses for items. Impulse purchases are critical for retail success and low cost, popular impulse items should be displayed at checkout. Notice in grocery stores how sodas, candy, batteries, and magazines are always at the checkout? Fun, inexpensive items placed at checkout greatly increase add-on sales, especially when accompanied by suggestions from sales staff. Displaying items in large volume creates excitement and interest and encourages sales, especially in perishable food sales, where a skimpy display makes shoppers think the remaining items might be stale and left over.

DATA TRACKING & INVENTORY PROCESS These are the least glamorous aspects of successful retail merchandising, but are important for success. Keeping track of sales volume based on product placement can influence where and how products are placed and displayed. A key element here is knowing that occasional relocation of items in the store can increase sales by helping regular customers see things they may have walked past and not noticed previously. An example is the endcap displays you see in grocery and variety stores. An efficient inventory process also ensures that displayed items are readily available for purchase.

Consumers do not appreciate being pulled into a purchase decision only to learn that the items are not in stock.

As retail business owners and managers, it is important to understand the use of effective retail merchandising for increased foot traffic and sales. As shoppers, it is helpful to understand how retail merchandising may influence buying decisions and budget management. Retail shopping is an integral part of our consumerbased economy. Shopping a brick and mortar store should be a fun and inspiring experience, whether it be a clothing store, shoe store, hardware store, pet food shop, bakery and coffee shop, or a big-box retailer. Happy shopping!

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As the weather changes and you begin to plan your fall outings, don’t forget we offer fresh chicken salad, pimento cheese, our delicious brownies, mandarin orange cake and peach pie.

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October 2020 | 91

Fall’s Here! Make a Joyful Transition

BY JEAN MARIE JOHNSON Fall. If it isn’t my favorite season, it is undoubtedly a very close second. The garden put to rest for the season, I turn my creative attention inside – to home, hearth, and to tackling the big reading, like The Canterbury Tales.

It’s been decades since I’ve picked up that lively tome, and now, as a most unusual year comes to an end, I feel the urge to resume my travels with those colorful characters. Having put on hold my plans to return to the Northeast for my sister’s milestone birthday and later, for our annual family Christmas party, I am focusing on how I can capture the feeling and cultivate the seasonal joy right where I am. Oh, and just a heads-up: I’m not waiting for an anchor like the fall equinox or Halloween to permit myself to stem the tides of my creative expression. Nope.

I am starting right now and jumping right in by embracing the transitional.

TRANSITION YOUR WARDROBE One lesson I learned soon after moving to the South is that the thermometer often defies the calendar. That meant acquiring lighter-weight clothing that still looked seasonal by virtue of color and pattern.

In late August, inspired by the crisp 63-degree mornings, I began transitioning my wardrobe, weeding out the perky summer items I’d consign or donate next year. With that space freed up, I moved the autumnal palette to the forefront. Hello deep mauve, warm pumpkin, chocolate brown, and passionate plum. As a Capricorn, you have no idea how much I love the moody sultriness of your hues! Next, I pulled out my collection of vintage brooches. This unique assortment of colors and shapes makes a seasonal appearance by adding whimsy to my jeans jacket or a fall blazer. It will come as no surprise that on the matter of fashion, I encourage you to make your own rules. Wear those cool white jeans with those black booties and big black sweater. While you are at it, go out there and sparkle with five vintage brooches on your lapel instead of a hum-hum, solitary one. Take one small step forward into your own style authenticity, and you are unlikely to look back!

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TRANSITION YOUR HOME Style isn’t only about how you dress yourself.

It is also about how you “dress” your home and your life. For me, the transition to autumn means paying close attention to nature’s changes. As summer slips into fall, I become a focused gatherer. Goldenrod by the side of the road? Oh yes! Acorns, bird feathers, and unusual branches all make their way into my home, inching out summer’s lighthearted arrangements. Of course, I’ve been scouting the estate sales and thrift shops for months, happily acquiring an eclectic assortment of pine green votives, pumpkin-colored tapers, and stout cranberry candles. Getting ready is so much a part of the fun! Soon I will replace the light matelassé bed cover with a heavier version and throw on a brick orange merino wool blanket for seasonal warmth, not to mention drama! And while cooking is not high on my list of favorite activities, eating most definitely is. That means running through my collection of favorite recipes and “tagging” my seasonal top ten. For me, this always includes pumpkin turkey chili, roasted vegetables, and cranberry-glazed salmon, amongst others.

I will relish this season of transition for what it offers me: a moment in time to acknowledge and celebrate … this moment in time. I know full-well that soon enough, long after the pumpkins are gone and the tinsel has been packed away, my head and heart will turn to another transition of seasons. Hopefully, I will have finished my sojourn with The Canterbury Tales by then. But if not, I will know that I did not squander this beautiful moment in time.

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GIRLS’ NIGHT OUT Grille at the Glenn

T H E G R I L L E AT T H E G L E N Thursday, October 8th | 4-9pm 1000 Glen D ay Dr., Clemmons, NC 27012 | (336) 712-1010 | www.GrilleAtTheGlen.com Grab a friend, a neighbor, your sister, your mother, a co-worker, and have a much needed Girls’ Night Out!

Specials: $6 Appetizers 1/2 price wine glass or bottle (excludes reserve wines)

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October 2020 | 93

E N E R G Y- E F F I C I E N T I M P R O V E M E N T S

BY LISA S.T. DOSS

Every homeowner wants an energy-efficient home to save thousands! A minimum of $400 annually could seep out of windows, cracks and create havoc through drafts. By investing in small changes to substantial upgrades, homeowners can recoup their investment by increasing comfort and house value, while reducing energy usage.

MULTI-USE LIGHT SWITCHES Unconsciously, members of the household always flick on and off switches or keep rooms alight out of convenience. Today, there are “smart” wi-fi based light switches, which offer occupancy-sensing lights or dimmers to enable LED bulbs longer life, while cutting electricity usage. The perfect solution for families!

Tip: For late-nighters or early risers, add an occupancy-sensing LED night light to provide a soft glow in hallways and master bathrooms.

LED LIGHTBULBS Despite a five percent cost dedicated to lighting, $250 annual savings add up when considering the multitude of ways to improve energy efficiency. Through technological advances in Edison’s invention, people can now choose from long-lasting, energy-efficient LEDs, budgetfriendly halogen incandescent bulbs and compact fluorescent lamps.

Tip: Look for “Energy Star-qualified” LED certified bulbs, which last 25 times longer than incandescent and halogen bulbs.

UNPLUG AND SHUT DOWN How many items in your home feature plugs without including small and large appliances? Twenty? Thirty?

Test: Light incense to create a smoke stream. Pay close attention to the force of movement, inward or outward, and whether it’s interrupted by a draft.

The energy vampires have plugs for every known technological device sitting on the kitchen counter, living room table and bedroom nightstand. It’s time to shut down computers and cell phone devices at night and turn off surge protectors when not in use.

Test: Check the metal plate in the fireplace, termed a damper, to ensure it seals the flow of air. Get into the habit of closing the damper when cool and not in use. A professional chimney cleaning service can provide all needed repairs, including replacing the damper, if necessary.

Tip: Consider investing in a solar charged power bank for each member of the family! A feeling of security lies in recharging as needed.

INSULATION

SEALING AIR LEAKS There are 19 probable locations to prevent air leakage, whether checked through a professional “energy audit” or conducted alone. Before investing in caulking and weather stripping, start by testing all the areas connecting different exterior building materials, such as where the siding meets the chimney, bricks linked to cement, and all corners and faucets.

Consider sealing leaks with low-expansion spray foam. This effort alone can save homeowners up to 30%.

Inside the home, install foam gaskets behind outlet and switch plates, caulk and weather-strip doors, windows, attic hatches and electrical outlets, including electric or gas service entrances, dryer vents, cable and telephone lines. Check baseboards, fireplace dampers and recessed lighting, too!

Test: Place a dollar bill between a door or open window, and close. Easy removal of the dollar requires a solution.

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Attics, a rare place of visitation, is often neglected. Take the time to climb the folding stairs to check your levels of either rolled or blown insulation. Current building codes in North Carolina require R-values, or thermal resistance, which measures an insulation’s capacity to resist heat flow. For attic ceilings, make sure you have 10 to 14 inches. Fortunately, if you need to increase the blanket of comfort, technology has alternative options to itchy, pink rolls of fiberglass.

• Blanket Batts and Rolls: As a much softer material, its constructed from cotton, mineral wool and fiberglass. Homeowners, who are delighted to experience DIYfriendly, inexpensive insulation, can use a utility knife to fit widths between floor joists, or use it as a covering.

• Reflective or Radiant Barriers: A unique type of insulation comes in rolls, is pliable and resembles thick aluminum foil. Great for ceilings to prevent heat from entering, and offers comfort when accessing the attic. This DIY project requires two people.

WINDOW FILMS Do you have a kitchen with southern exposure? A self-adhesive window film regulates levels of heat and blocks UV rays from entering your home. Inexpensive in cost. Application requires two people.

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Not Just for Business Meetings Anymore!

BY SARA MIGLIARESE This process determines the risk for falls and helps clinicians in making referrals to virtual fall prevention programs in our community. This WSSU team of therapists has screened over 60 older adults since April, all without any safety incident or major technology obstacles prohibiting older adults from receiving a successful screening.

So, Zoom is not just for business meetings (or even telehealth doctor visits) anymore!

To decide if you or any older adult could benefit from a virtual fall risk screening, you can answer these three questions: 1. Have you fallen in the past year?

2. Do you feel unsteady when standing or walking?

3. Do you worry about falling?

Six months into the COVID-19 pandemic and we are still standing. Or are we? Some of us have been sitting in Zoom meetings for months, missing time in the gym and even the Monday-Friday task of climbing stairs at the office, once thought of as an unfortunate drudgery, but now wondering if we can even climb one flight of stairs and wishing we could please go up and down some stairs! After six months of social isolation and inactivity, some of us are not standing; some are falling, especially older adults who lack physical activity and social contact. According to the CDC, “Falls affect us all—whether personally or someone we love or care about. Every second of every day, an older adult falls.

In 2015 alone, more than one in four older adults reported falling, and more than 28,000 older adults died as a result of falls—that’s 74 older adults every day.” We do not know how COVID has impacted these statistics, but the incidence of falls is arguably increasing, a result of decreased physical activity and loss of social contact for many older adults.

Solutions to this potentially new epidemic of falls are few, but not absent. One local university, Winston-Salem State University (WSSU), offers free virtual fall risk screenings using Zoom meetings to measure risk and refer older adults to available virtual balance and exercise classes. Through a grant from the Administration on Community Living and the National Council on Aging, the faculty of the Occupational and Physical Therapy departments at WSSU have provided virtual Zoom fall risk screenings since April 2020, safely guiding older adults through a series of questions and balance tests.

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If you or a loved one or friend answer “yes” to any of these three questions, then a fall risk screening would be very beneficial in determining the best plan of action to prevent future falls. Potential solutions to increased fall risk are balance and exercise classes, whether in person or virtual, referrals to physical therapy, vision checks, medication checks, and home assessments for potential safety hazards. A virtual fall risk screening through WSSU can help guide participants in finding the best solutions to their individual fall risk, including free virtual exercise classes taught by WSSU clinicians.

To sign up for a virtual fall risk screening, contact the WSSU Fall Prevention team at aclfallsgrant@wssu.edu. Participants will need to have access to laptops, tablets, or phones that contain a camera and can connect to the Internet. Each screening takes about 20 minutes and is free of charge.

Participants must also live in North Carolina. If you feel concerned about falls, be encouraged that help is on the way and it looks like a Zoom meeting!

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A BARKING GOOD TIME:

THE 2020 FORSYTH HUMANE SOCIETY FURR BALL

BY TARYN JEREZ innovation, the Forsyth Humane Society team has been able to stay open six days a week to fulfill these needs, “which is critical during COVID and our unknown future,” says Sarah Williamson, Executive Director.

“The goal in this season is staying open, sustaining our mission, and keeping people safe, and the Furr Ball will help us continue to achieve this!”

“FUREVER” HOMES FOR PETS IN A PANDEMIC

It’s not every day you get to attend a ball with your pets by your side!

Whether you decide to dust off your finest formal wear or don your most comfy sweatpants, the Forsyth Humane Society invites you to join them virtually for the 2020 Furr Ball! This year’s event is on Friday, October 16th, from 7:30-8:30 pm EST and will be live on both Facebook and YouTube.

It’s easier than ever to attend with your fellow animal lover friends no matter where they are located, and there is no ticket fee to join the fun and help make an impact!

MORE ABOUT THE MISSION The Forsyth Humane Society is committed to increasing the save rate of sheltered cats and dogs in the community with the goal of increasing to 90% by 2023. In 2018 they began partnering with Forsyth County Animal Services to save more animals, and that’s exactly what the Furr Ball continues to help them achieve. In 2017 the save rate was 36% and due to the help of so many amazing workers, volunteers and donors, they have more than doubled the save rate in 2020 to 78%! Many in the community may be surprised to know that the organization is contracted with Forsyth County as an “open admissions shelter” which means they don’t turn any cat or dog away. They care for over 6,200 animals per year; that’s an average of 18 animals coming into shelter per day!

HELPING ANIMALS IN FORSYTH COUNTY IN NEW WAYS In the wake of COVID-19, many businesses and organizations have had to change the way they run their daily operations. During the pandemic, there has actually been an increase in community members looking for nurturing opportunities for themselves, and many are fostering or adopting shelter pets. With an abundance of passion and 98 | ForsythWoman.com

Something many people are surprised to learn is the addition of curbside adoption appointments being offered during this time.

After looking at the Forsyth Humane Society website to check out its newest rescues, you can schedule an appointment and get ready to meet your new fur baby social distancing style! The staff can even help narrow choices down, have all your paperwork prepped, and keep everyone safe and healthy! Sarah also shared that, due to health and safety restrictions, they are working through this increased need with just their full-time staff and are missing their volunteers greatly and look forward to having them back after COVID.

WHAT YOU CAN EXPECT AT THIS YEAR’S FURR BALL Surely hosting an annual black-tie event virtually has to come with a few changes, right? This year’s event may be more relaxed than previous years, but it will have no less creativity and fun for its attendees. Keeping things short and sweet, the one hour long virtual Furr Ball will include a lively Emcee running the event, a surplus viewing of cute puppies and kittens, a surprise celebrity guest appearance, and some great prizes.

They will be raffling off a Penny Preville 18K white gold emerald shape diamond necklace valued at $5,000 and generously donated by Schiffman’s Jewelry for $50 a

raffle ticket. (The drawing will be held live at the event!) There will even be a chance to win the opportunity to name a litter of kittens or puppies!

HOW YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE Of course, attending the 2020 Furr Ball is the perfect way to show your support and help make an impact on the animals of Forsyth County! This year’s financial goal is to raise $180,000 to help continue to save lives and keep the Forsyth Humane Society doors open while continuing curbside outreach.

Another great way to make an impact is to snap a fun selfie of you and your rescue pets, tag #savefursyth, and share on social media! You can also check out the Wishlist on the Forsyth Humane Society website for donation item ideas or head onto the Facebook page and help promote animals up for adoption by reposting! “The more eyes these animals get on them, the better,” said Sarah.

Michael and Mardene Morykwas, who passed away in 2011, created and hosted Furr Ball to benefit the Forsyth Humane Society. Today it is the Forsyth Humane Society’s major fundraising event and they look forward to seeing some new faces (both human and animal) at this year’s event!

Furr Ball is underwritten by Christine & Michael Morykwas and presented by Bob King Automotive Group. Honorary Chairs are Mrs. Natalie Broyhill and Mr. Penn Broyhill, and Furr Ball is chaired this year by Ms. Christy Cox Spencer and Mrs. Jennie Hess.

Join the fun and change some incredible animals’ lives from the comfort of your living room this year!

Link to ticket information: TBD

Ryan’s Restaurant

Forsyth Humane Society

October 2020 | 99

National Parks to Visit This Fall

BY AMY HILL

If you’ve spent the summer hiking through the forests of North Carolina and are looking for some different terrain to explore this fall, take a flight or road trip out west and visit some of the most beautiful national parks the country has to offer. These listed below provide mild temperatures and a myriad of outdoor activities that the entire family will enjoy.

DEATH VALLEY NATIONAL PARK Located about two hours west of the Las Vegas Strip, Death Valley National Park sits below sea level in California and contains numerous hiking trails of varying difficulty, along with campgrounds and plenty of sights to see from your vehicle. With average high temperatures ranging from the 60s to 90s in October through December, this is a great destination for travelers looking to savor the heat for as long as possible. Mornings can be cooler in the park, but the temperature will vary depending on your elevation. Be sure to pack layers of clothing and bring plenty of water, but leave your umbrella at home (it is the desert, after all!).

On your way back to the Las Vegas Strip, swing by the Red Rock Canyon National Conservation Area if you have time. The Red Rock scenic loop is a quick 13-mile drive but offers beautiful mountain views and numerous trailheads for those who haven’t had their hiking fix for the day.

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CANYONLANDS NATIONAL PARK Two of my favorite national parks, Canyonlands National Park and Arches National Park, sit side by side in the charming town of Moab, Utah, and are separated by the Colorado River.

If I had to choose one to visit (which is nearly impossible), I would vote for Canyonlands.

A close runner-up to the Grand Canyon, Grand View Point views, and Mesa Arch at Island in the Sky are stunning and provide great photo opportunities.

The Needles District of the park is located a whopping 2 hours and 15 minutes away from the Island in the Sky Visitor Center, but is well worth the journey (and likely less trafficked). Scenery in this area of the park can make visitors feel like they are walking on Mars. For hiking in the Needles, I highly suggest using the AllTrails app to download trail maps ahead of time, since rock cairns used to mark the trails can be difficult to spot. Getting lost is easy, especially when there are fewer hikers, and this app can be a lifesaver (literally).

BIG BEND NATIONAL PARK For those seeking an adventure, embarking on the more isolated trek down to Big Bend National Park in Texas may be just the right getaway. Located right next to the Mexican border, Big Bend provides a diverse range of desert, mountain, and river hikes, including floating trips down the Rio Grande. Like Death Valley, high temperatures in Big Bend during the autumn months are relatively warmer, ranging from the 60s to 80s. If you don’t want to camp, set your home base in either Alpine or Marathon, Texas, and treat yourself to delicious Mexican food after a day of exploring.

HELPFUL TIPS Entrance fees to national parks can add up. If you plan on visiting more than one park during your getaway, I suggest purchasing an America the Beautiful pass on the USGS [US Geological Survey] Online Store for access to over 2,000 federal recreation sites. The pass covers entrance fees, as well as some additional fees, and is valid for one year after purchase.

Given the pandemic’s current conditions, be sure to stay up-to-date on phased park openings and operating hours by visiting the U.S. National Park Service website. This will provide you with information on trail closures, campground availability, and safety alerts.

While rainfall during the autumn months is less common in the national parks listed above, as compared to other areas of the United States, high winds or sudden temperature changes can throw a wrench in your plans.

Remember to remain flexible and prepare for Mother Nature to make some decisions for you.

Clemmons Rotary Club

October 2020 | 101

When you choose to be passive: why being assertive doesn’t always win

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

Assertive communication is often seen as the “best” communication style. With an underlying understanding that assertive communicators look for mutual “winning” in the speaker and listener, as well as an equitable look on conflict and negotiation, there is no doubt that on the surface, assertive communicators are effective.

What happens when you don’t want to be assertive? Sure, it’s difficult and shouldn’t be avoided just because it’s difficult – what about the times that you choose to be passive?

While passive communication is often seen as an exhibition of insecurities or “losing” when it comes to met needs, it can also be a conscious choice. Here are a few reasons why passive might be the assertive choice:

ON THE DEFENSE Sometimes, no matter how perfect you are with assertive communication, it won’t work.

The person you’re talking to might see your assertiveness as aggressiveness and jump on the defense.

When you know the person you’re talking to is going to jump to the defensive, you might choose to greet it with passive communication. This doesn’t mean that you are giving up what you need and want; this means that what you want is bigger than an argument, especially when another person is caught up in their emotions.

Choosing to be passive is more about waiting for the emotions to pass and entering a place of responding to overreacting.

CONTROL One of the things I say with every client: you can’t change how someone else communicates, only how you respond to it. This reason goes hand in hand with a defensive conversation partner – you can’t calm someone else down, or make them see you in another way, or stop being aggressive.

One of the best examples: when someone is experiencing a highly felt emotion, whether that is excitement, anger, anxiety, or joy, they might not see the entire situation. You can’t control any of the emotions they are

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experiencing, nor can you control how well they are listening or communicating.

Taking a passive bystander stance in the conversation might be the only control you have in the conversation. Say a friend is very angry about something – you can spend time telling them not to feel angry, to calm down – two things that might make your friend angrier.

Or, you can choose to be the bystander and let the emotion run out.

ASSERTIVE EXHAUSTION This isn’t uncommon – imagine this situation: you’re making choices at work. With your kids. With your career. When you get to spend time with your friends, you just want to go along for the ride because you are so very tired of making decisions and being direct in every other aspect of your life.

This doesn’t mean that you don’t care about the choices that get made, or your feelings and desires when it comes to your friends. This does mean that you’re experiencing a bit of exhaustion when it comes to decisionmaking and assertive communication.

The passive choice here is one I recognize all too well – between work and family, when it comes to friends, I am one happy to be along for the ride. I truly don’t care if we get tacos or Italian, watch a comedy or scary movie – I just enjoy

spending time with friends over making choices. If you, too, are experiencing exhaustion with assertive communication, find the space to make the passive choice.

One thing that can be said with all of these reasons to be passive: you’re choosing it over someone choosing it for you. With that intentional choice, it can be argued that you’re being assertive in that decision.

Regardless of the reason, make sure it’s a choice, not an obligation.

T H E G R I L L E AT T H E G L E N Our dining rooms are now open for inside & patio seating.

Grille at the Glen Contactless take-out and neighborhood delivery available.

Come discover one of the best kept casual fine dining secrets in Clemmons! Open to the Public – Make Reservations Now www.GrilleAtTheGlen.com 1000 Glen Day Dr., Clemmons, NC 27012 | (336) 712-1010 | New Fall Hours Sat-Tues 10:30 am – 7 pm | Wed-Fri 10:30 am – 9pm

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336.407.3655 October 2020 | 103

& RIVA LRY:

WOME N

BY JE N

OLEN

ICZA

K BRO WN

WHY WE GET JEALOU S

Have you ever experienced jealousy? Maybe it was with someone you worked with because they got a promotion or opportunity before you, or another person because they received something that you wished or hoped to get yourself? It might catch you by surprise because you might be jealous of someone you consider a friend, which feels weird, right? I mean, this person is your FRIEND! You should be proud of her, but for some reason, here you are wondering why her – why not you?

Hold up – jealousy happens. It doesn’t mean that you wish ill on your friend or care for them any less. Jealousy has been defined as “a threat or loss of success in a relationship due to interference from a rival” while envy is “a response to another person who has success, skills or qualities that you desire.” Think about the times you’ve felt jealousy or envy – or experienced it from the other side?

Were you friends with this person?

Were you colleagues?

How do you or did you feel about yourself? Do you think you are (or aren’t) good enough?

Understand that identifying the emotion is the best first step – now it’s time to combat it with digging to the source of it and using it for your next big success:

FIND THE ROOT Where is the jealousy coming from? Did you try to get a promotion and it didn’t happen? Did you ask for a raise and your boss said not now? Are you feeling as though you aren’t good enough? Take a step back to think about where the feelings are coming from beyond the surface feeling.

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SAY IT OUT LOUD Find a friend to talk to – maybe it’s the friend you have these feels about, and maybe it’s a safe space! Whatever it is, don’t let the feelings just ferment in your head – they are going to keep growing if you don’t at least voice them.

SPIN IT Yes, jealousy isn’t a great emotion. You can spin just about anything – and jealousy is one of those things that you can look at from another angle. Think of jealousy as the difference between what you have and what you want. You can use that to think about what you want to achieve in life and push towards that specific thing – don’t aim it at a person, aim it in motivation to get something done.

LOOK INSIDE Are you holding yourself to an unfair standard? You might be disregarding your successes and achievements and focusing on all of the things you wish you had. The phrase “the grass is always greener” exists for a reason – be sure you’re measuring yourself in the same way that you are measuring other people. Aside from making sure that you’re measuring yourself on the same scale, take time to be excited about what you do have going on. It’s very easy to ignore the things that you’ve accomplished – take time and practice grace with yourself.

GET MOTIVATED Use this energy to get moving on what you do want to accomplish! You don’t have to sit back and wait for something to happen – you do need to make things happen if you want them. Use the energy you’re spending on jealousy to map out not only what you want, but steps to get there.

The more you focus that energy on getting things done versus wishing they would just happen, the more things will start happening with you.

When they do, note them for the next time you feel jealous, and keep repeating the process of motivation and grace.

Sharon Reid, DDS, PA & Tyler Wynne, DDS

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Happy-Up Your Day

BY JEAN MARIE JOHNSON

A plateau can be a good place to pause, look around, and catch your breath, but few of us want to hang out there for too long. A few years ago, I found myself on an extended plateau, waiting for changes on the outside to support the big changes that were underway on the inside. I did everything I could to keep my perspective and to stay in a good place: I prayed, I meditated, I walked, I sought the support of good friends. I adjusted my strategies, reset my already compromised expectations, and finally, in my all-too-human state, I railed at the gods, stuck between the plateau and the pits.

I wasn’t depressed, but I was weary and my hope was fragile. I knew that I had to do something to get back to a good place where I felt happy, hopeful, and confident in the future. Retail therapy, if only in the form of “Just browsing, thank you,” has always been one of my no-fail go-to’s, and so I went there seeking inspiration. Poking around in a lifestyle store in the Berkshires of Massachusetts, I found the inspiration I sought: a mug with a simple yet provocative message: “Today I choose happiness.” Those four words stopped me in my tracks, acting as a coach, an angel, a Greek chorus calling me to action. My first step was to choose to buy the mug. My second, the more difficult one, was to follow its counsel. I knew that I needed to: • focus on today, not tomorrow or some nebulous future • look to myself, my “I” to carry myself forward • choose happiness with fierce intention and discipline In the days, weeks, and months that followed, that mug and its insistent message stared me down, challenging me to muster the inner strength that would allow me to move beyond the plateau. I used the now, the moments of each day, to create my happiness, one choice at a time.

Many of us are reluctant to divulge that we are anything short of happy. We feel guilty, ashamed, as if there must be something wrong with us. My experience is otherwise. It tells me that when I acknowledge feeling unhappy, I have the power to prompt myself to get to the source, and to do something about what I can manage, what I can change.

If you want to “happy-up” your days, consider six small actions that can have a big impact: Start the day with gratitude for being alive. Regardless of what may be going on in your life, acknowledge that you are here, that breath is still breathing you. Smile and step into your day.

Connect with someone you care about. It can be an email, a text, a chat over the fence; the “how” matters less than the good feeling you both experience simply by connecting.

Manage your “shoulds.” When the “should tape” gets stuck on replay, click on stop. Contain your major “shoulds” by writing them down and then addressing them when you feel centered and empowered to make clear decisions about them.

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Schedule “some” moments of fun. For me, it may be browsing a book club site to get the word on new releases, or maybe it’s playing with my dog when she comes down with a senior version of “the zoomies.” It could be 10 minutes or 30. Whatever time I spend in that fun place is time that reenergizes my spirit.

Get physical. I know. How many times are you going to hear this?

Look at it this way: everything counts. Throw the laundry into the dryer, check the mail, sweep the porch, go for a ten-minute walk. When I take any of these actions, I feel more energized and my thinking benefits from a major refresh. Is it any wonder I “get physical” many times throughout the day?

Challenge your negative thoughts. I used to be hard on myself about everything. Once I started checking my thoughts and asking myself, “Is this helpful?” I began turning my negative self-talk into a useful inner dialogue, one that helped me “happy-up” my day and, by extension, my life.

Give these strategies a try – a few or all of them – and see what they can do for you. And remember, small changes can make a big impact so be ready to “happy-up” your own day!

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October 2020 | 107

October is Adopt-aShelter-Dog Month

BY LISA S.T. DOSS

“Saving one dog will not change the world, but surely for that one dog, the world will change forever.” ~ Karen Davison More than 6.5 million animals arrive to rescue and animal shelters each year. A sense of loss and abandonment can be a terrifying experience for animals who seek a family to please. Despite the misconception that all shelter dogs are bad or abused, the long-term, proven philosophy of medical screenings and structured training sessions, ensures each animal has an opportunity to find a forever family and home. Many shelters also screen animals for specific temperaments and behaviors to match each family’s lifestyle with the right pet. They work with a wide variety of breeds, not limited to, Australian shepherds, beagles, boxers, chihuahuas, German shepherds and Labrador retrievers.

NATIONAL ADOPT-ASHELTER MONTH The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) joined with the American Humane Association (AHA) to create in October two messages behind Adopt-a-Dog Month and National Adopt-aShelter-Dog Month events. Celebrating the gift of animal adoption encourages shelter and rescues across the country to encourage residents to become a forever family for a homeless dog.

WHY ADOPT FROM A RESCUE OR SHELTER? “Whoever declared that love, at first sight, doesn’t exist has never witnessed the purity of a puppy or looked deep into a puppy’s eyes. If they did, their lives would change considerably.” ~ Elizabeth Parker, author

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We all have a favorite breed, beloved due to a specific size, temperament or characteristic, such as keen intelligence, short hair or a sport dog. Walking through the door of a rescue or shelter begins with an open mind. At that moment, it’s not about size, breed, sex or age; sometimes, the choice is out of love for an adorable face that says, “I belong to you.” A mixed-breed animal already has the tenacity to live longer due to the uncomplicated hybrid vigor.

The purebred has a propensity to develop health problems, ranging from breathing difficulties and cancer to hip dysplasia, in larger canines.

You’ll discover, dogs awaiting adoption in rescues or shelters will: • already be vaccinated and microchipped.

• be screened to determine specific temperaments and behaviors to ensure each family finds the perfect dog to complement their lifestyle.

• be spayed or neutered.

• already be house trained.

SAVING YOUR LIFE, TOO! Discovering the many benefits of adopting a rescue includes saving you. Canine companions improve their caretaker’s quality of life by lowering stress levels, increasing physical activity and promoting social interaction opportunities. Dog owners develop patience by adapting to their new four-legged companion from long, enjoyable walks to sitting together in the evenings.

SUPPORTING LOCAL Every town and city has at least one animal rescue. Locally, you’ll find canine and farm animal rescues, humane societies

and various animal shelters. With minimal resources and advertising, non-profit organizations need your help and support.

Start following a group or two on social media, and spread the word about your adoption experience, or post pictures of adoptable animals.

INCENTIVES TO ADOPT October, the season of color and environmental changes, can often bring surprises. Take the time to visit local shelters and animal groups. The adorable face, wet nose and perfect build is waiting for you. Life changes for the better when an animal is adopted. A four-legged friend often makes difficult days better, and the great days, complete!

“Dogs, for the reason that can only be described as divine, have the ability to forgive, let go of the past and live each day joyously. It’s something the rest of us strive for.” ~ Jennifer Skiff, author

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October 2020 | 109

BY TARYN JEREZ OF ONECRAFTYMISS.COM

Communication is Key: Creating Real Connection Across Every Platform This column is meant to serve as a resource for readers who seek inspiration and knowledge for building their own small business brands.

Through actionable advice, find the encouragement to help you keep living your life with hustle and heart.

When it comes to communicating with customers and clients - now more than ever - many of us ask the question, “How much is too much?” The truth is that the answer may be a little different for each of us, but the most important thing is to be showing up for your audience in a way that feels good and creates action.

So, how the heck do you do that exactly? I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve to not only communicate with your audience with confidence, but also create a real connection with your audience that, in turn, creates customers and clients in your business.

RULE #1: COMMUNICATE AUTHENTICALLY. It is far too easy nowadays to be bombarded with what the rest of the world is doing, and forget to put our blinders on and focus on who we really are, and how we project ourselves in our own businesses. Ignore that comparison trap when you are communicating with your audience!

Instead, think about your brand as a whole. What does it look like and sound like? How does it make people feel when they interact with it?

Hone into who you really are and who you aspire to be, and you will build real connection with the people who need you most. Whether it’s an email to your email marketing list or a video on Instagram, make sure you’re speaking as your authentic self, not a carbon copy of someone else.

RULE #2: COMMUNICATE SPECIFICALLY. Every business owner has a mile-long list of things to do it seems. As you think about how you communicate as a business, make sure you aren’t simply checking something off that list. You need to be specific on the reason behind every social media post, email, graphic, video, marketing collateral, and more. Think about what you are trying to accomplish and make sure your communication supports that. If you are trying to build brand awareness or increase sales during a launch, the communication you create may be vastly different. Have a plan before you spend time putting things out into the world.

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RULE #3: COMMUNICATE CONSISTENTLY. Think about the relationships you have in your life. Isn’t it nice when we know we can count on people and know when and how they will show up for us? Your business is no different! You want to build consistency in how you show up and how often. The way you communicate is a perfect way to do this! Remember, the worst thing you can do is leave your customers in the dark with crickets chirping.

You want them to know what’s going on and how you are there to serve them and what that looks like. Figure out a schedule and frequency that works for social media posts, newsletters, sales promotions, etc., and try to stick with it.

RULE #4: COMMUNICATE EFFICIENTLY. We constantly hear the saying, “Don’t reinvent the wheel,” but have you ever thought about how that applies to communication in your business? Once you create that perfect messaging, don’t have the ‘one and done’ mentality.

Instead, think how you can be as efficient as possible with those efforts by reimagining it as different content across platforms. Do you have a few social media posts that did great? Repurpose the captions by writing a blog post or newsletter from it by adding more copy. Think how you can take the things you’ve already created and expand them to cover more bases. Also, challenge yourself on how long your content is and how long it takes you to create it. Are you being as efficient as possible with your efforts?

As you communicate with your audience, always make sure you are challenging yourself by asking the tough questions: Am I communicating authentically, consistently, specifically, and efficiently? Be sure to stay on brand and create connections that really matter!

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@0necraftymiss October 2020 | 111

BY LISA S.T. DOSS Households across America watched the brilliant Dr. Gregory House of the acclaimed television series, “House” painfully display his addiction to the drug Vicodin. Not so publicly is the untold knowledge of family members and friends who needed a prescription and never stopped. And, perhaps, you hold a secret, too.

Fact: Chemicals in medications lead to substantial changes in the brain. It erodes a person’s ability for self-control and making the right decisions. In the same circuits of survival, the driving force connects to the same chemicals, which signal impulse.

UNDERSTANDING ADDICTION

Fact: A medication or substance does not define an addition. As the brain emphasizes a need, it seeks an experience. Too often, individuals will take risks and try unknown drugs; perhaps belonging to someone else, or mix medications to find pleasure. As dependency escalates, experimentation begins.

In 2011, my husband deployed to Kuwait with the 263rd National Guard unit, while I remained behind to care for our 14-monthold daughter. Stress and anxiety led to a prescribed sleep pill, after trying Ambien and Melatonin. It didn’t take long to realize taking medication was as natural as the routine of brushing my teeth. I felt a compelling pull after time equating swallowing the pill to receive the gift of quality sleep. Reflecting upon the brain’s prompting to need the pill also led to a decision to stop. After four months, I contacted the pharmacy to ask, “How do I get off the prescription?”

A pregnant pause led to a genuine reply, “That’s a rare question!”

Immediately, I complied by cutting the dose in half. The mind then played a tug-of-war of forced compliance while the will struggled.

After two months, my body used its own chemicals to lull me to sleep.

TRUTH ABOUT ADDICTION For those who never experienced an addiction from medication, it certainly isn’t as easy as using willpower or stopping.

No one intentionally chooses to rely on a drug, nor is it an individual’s fault. There are often contributing factors, such as genetics, upbringing and trauma.

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Fact: The Federal Drug Administration (FDA) certifies a drug based on its ability to treat a condition while providing dosage guidelines. It does not control which drugs are addictive.

Prescriptions offered to patients, likewise provide a count and dosage lasting a duration of time. It is up to patients to inquire about the timeline, and stop after the final dosage!

Fact: Therapy and treatment programs coupled with exercise and medications, can reverse the brain’s behaviors.

Fact: Opioid painkillers prescribed to manage pain after an accident or surgery are intended for shortterm use.

TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR Doctor visits emphasize ongoing symptoms and questions concerning allergic reactions to medications. It’s up to you to take ownership at an appointment and inquire about the name and effect of a medication well before arriving to the pharmacy for pick-up.

Prednisone, an anti-inflammatory steroid, for instance, has substantial repercussions if remained in the bloodstream for longer than 14 days. The reaction may be fatigue, nausea and abdominal cramping pain if not weaned off. A similar sideeffect occurs with opioid pain medications, such as codeine, morphine and hydrocodone.

Tip: Research the name of the drug, its side-effects and possibility of addiction. Ask questions of your pharmacist. While you can refuse a prescription, he or she can provide a suitable alternative.

HOW TO HELP Out of habit, remaining pills from a prescription enter a bathroom drawer or closet and are left forgotten. We often think our Z-pack or antibiotic will help someone else who needs it. The best solution is to discard leftover pills after treatment.

Despite another person having your symptoms, age, medication, allergic-reactions and other factors designate each individual’s prescription.

By disposing of medications, you can ensure it does not reach the hands of a beloved pet, child or visiting house guest.

A MINDSET OF CHANGE We all reach a point in our lives when a medical doctor asks us to surrender to make the pain easier to bear. Chemicals can help the mind and body function through difficult challenges; yet, it’s a personal decision to wean your body’s dependency from a drug. Yes, you can!

Denise Heidel

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October 2020 | 113

Read the full article at Senior-Living-Communities.com/Blog

THESE ARE THE GOOD YEARS AND I’M GOING TO DO THE THINGS I LOVE. Swinging through a jungle in a loincloth with the misses on my arm is not likely but living my life to the fullest is. As for cracking a 300-yard drive…I can dream.

Diving into this new season early, with good perspective, strength, and the ability to adapt is indispensable. I now know that it takes determination and grit to make this life transition. But before I boxed up a lifetime of mementos and personal treasures, I wanted to know what in the world “Assisted Living Community” meant.

MY TIPS FOR A COMPLETE CYBER SEARCH: • Google Maps: On Google or Bing, type in what you’re looking for, whether it’s “65 plus retirement” or “CCRC retirement communities in Myrtle Beach”, then click on the map. Many of the businesses will be listed on the map, and in a list, and listed out for you, no exclusions.

• Dare I Say, Page 2 Of Google?

It’s perfectly fine to go to page 2. The top 10 results aren’t a complete list. You can’t fit 23 different retirement community websites located in Greenville South Carolina in 10 results.

• Website Briefing: A website should give you a general idea of a community, but if you’re like me, sometimes I miss things. If you are bringing a fourlegged friend, and the website doesn’t have a large banner reading “Pet Friendly”, don’t assume they don’t allow pets. Make notes, ask the questions.

THE LOST ART OF CONVERSATION

CYBER EVERYTHING My search began in no unordinary way like most do, I suppose. Cyber everything! I cyber researched, cyber messaged, cyber found. I also unintentionally cyber signed up for a slew of newsletters, chat groups, financial reports and host of other general interest fluff. After pouring through various websites like APlaceForRelatives.com or SeniorsJustLikeMe.com, I soon realized they were not exhaustive resources. The tiny print alerted me that these communities paid to be on these directories. While it seemed like a resource that was in the best interest of seniors, these websites intentionally refer you to their paid partners. I liken it to television or radio commercials. A good portion of the communities we toured weren’t even listed on those sites.

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When I contacted the first community, little did I know just how different each call would be. Sometimes there would be a condescending sneer with so much mustard it made me wince. Other times, an authentically caring human at the other end of the line. One time a receptionist said to me: “I don’t even know what you want to know.” So I replied with, “Everything”. The heavy gust from their deep sigh sent a ripple across my cheek, a heave reminiscent of a 5th set Wimbledon tie breaker. I want to be recognized as a real person, who is making a big life decision. Understanding goes a long way.

I started calling these places for information, though I didn’t know exactly what to say or how to ask. What’s this “65 Plus” thing I keep seeing? Do I make my own meals? Am I allowed to have a car? It reminded me of early college asking for permission to do normal everyday stuff. I almost raised my hand to ask if I could have friends over.

47-ish conversations later, I had a better handle on the situation. Everything varied from pricing & accommodations, to napkins and happy hours. I found some with all the bells and whistles and some with no whistle at all. With a unique catalog of qualified communities, we were ready.

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October 2020 | 115

Five Safety Tips for Solitary Drivers

BY LISA S.T. DOSS

The mind and body follow a rhythm of actions after closing a vehicle door to promote safety and comfort.

Surrounded by 4,000 pounds of steel and the technological advancements of features, the driver must rely on smart decisions and a plan to avoid vulnerability and potential danger! Whether you are a new driver or have spent decades behind the wheel, consider how you will respond to the following five scenarios:

#1: WHO KNOWS WHERE YOU ARE?

Tip: Rather than place yourself in an awkward or dangerous situation, take care of errands during the day.

Tip: Consider carrying a bottle of pepper spray on your keychain for self-defense purposes. It is a weapon that can restrict the airways and burn the eyes for a duration lasting 20 to 90 minutes. Please, don’t just believe what it does; instead, watch instructive videos and practice using it. Similar to all chemicals, it can weaken; therefore, be aware of the expiration date.

The gas light is flashing, and a service area is nowhere in sight. The thought of worry whether there is a cell signal may lead to panic. The critical word in the situation is “help.” Did you tell anyone where you were going or when to expect your arrival? It’s a good habit to keep roommates, parents or spouses well-informed of your travels. A text is fine. Check-ins are better. Make it fun!

Send silly pictures or one-liners from a favorite movie to keep you connected!

Take notice of your surroundings, such as landmarks and road names. Be wary if someone asks you to pull over. Your safety is critical; therefore, consider driving to a public location.

Tip: Make yourself a promise to fill the gas tank when it reaches a quarter tank!

Tip: Never leave your vehicle to confront a stranger or roll down the window.

Tip: If traveling to an unknown destination, take time to research the location first, and if possible, take a practice drive.

Tip: Do not assume an unmarked vehicle with flashing lights is a police car. Put on your flashing lights and immediately call 911. A dispatcher will want to know your location and provide help.

Tip: Keep a portable power charger on hand. Very inexpensive with the option of solar power or electricity.

#2: STRANDED YOUNG DRIVER Imagine it’s raining, and you come across a young person holding an umbrella standing next to her parked car, alongside the road. Do you stop? Do you let her into your vehicle? Despite her age, you do not know whether she has the intent to use a gun or knife. The best scenario to help her while keeping yourself safe is to call 911, and report the situation.

#3: RETURNING TO YOUR VEHICLE AT NIGHT Safety occurs in numbers; however, there are times when every driver must be out at night. With a cart full of groceries or hands carrying bags, a driver’s risk escalates. Buy enough to hold the contents comfortably in one hand. With ample light shining from overhead, always have car keys available. Before entering the vehicle, take a look at the trunk, backseat and passenger seat. If you are uncomfortable, return to the store and request a security guard or store employee escort you.

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Tip: Conceal valuables under the seat, in the glove box or trunk.

#4: GETTING YOUR ATTENTION

#5: FLAT TIRE Most vehicles today have a tire indicator to let drivers know when pressure is low. Other signs include a difficulty in accelerating and changing lanes or a dragging feeling on one side. Drivers should immediately pull off the road. Without the knowledge of changing tires, the solution is applying the contents of a can of Fix-a-Flat.

Within minutes, drivers then have a maximum of 100 miles to seek a full repair!

Worst case scenarios do happen. Rather than waiting for the unexpected, devise a plan that leads to empowerment!

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336-765-0260/336-416-6163 4825 Country Club Rd. Winston-Salem, NC 27104 October 2020 | 117

DR. TEMPLE BARKATE STEELE

Dr. Temple Barkate Steele is an OB-GYN with Novant Health WomanCare in Winston-Salem.

She is originally from New Orleans, Louisiana and received her undergraduate degree from Vanderbilt University. She received her medical degree from Louisiana State University and completed her OB-GYN residency at Wake Forest Baptist Medical Center. In her free time, you’ll find her in the outdoors with her dog, Boudreaux, and her husband, Dr. Thomas Steele. She also enjoys cooking and is currently working on her tennis game! Dr. Steele loves her job taking care of women and looks forward to serving the women of Forsyth County for all their healthcare needs.

DEBBIE MCCAFFREY

Debbie McCaffrey has been a resident and active community member in the Lewisville-Clemmons area since 2004. In order to pursue her goal of becoming a professional counselor, Debbie returned to the classroom after a 25-year hiatus and earned her master’s degree in marriage and family therapy from Liberty University. She recently fulfilled her lifelong dream of owning her own private counseling practice with the recent opening of her office in Clemmons. She considers it a true privilege to walk with others through some of the most difficult seasons of their lives. Debbie works with adolescents (13+), individuals, couples and families. She offers both in-person therapy and teletherapy services.

When Debbie is not working with clients, she enjoys spending time with her husband of 21 years, her children and their three energetic dogs. She also loves walking, traveling and dining in locally owned restaurants.

DARA KURTZ

Dara Kurtz is an author and professional speaker. She started Crazy Perfect Life as a way for people to connect and support each other. She is the author of “I Am My Mother’s Daughter: Wisdom on Life, Loss, and Love” which was motivated by her own personal experience with the loss of loved ones and the understanding that letting go of sadness can sometimes bring back positive memories and lessons on how to live life to the fullest.

Dara received her undergraduate degree from The University of Alabama. When she is not inspiring others through her experiences, Dara loves spending time with her two daughters, ages 20 and 17 and her husband, Jon. In her free time, she loves being in nature and practicing Kundalini yoga.

If you are interested in submitting yourself or someone you know for a future Woman on the Move profile, visit our online application link – Women on the Move (WOM...tinyurl.com/ForsythWomanWOM).

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MARY GLEN HATCHER

Since moving to Winston-Salem a little more than a year ago, Mary Glen Hatcher has deeply appreciated the opportunity to work with local entrepreneurs in the nonprofit world.

She currently serves as the Marketing and Communications Coordinator for Agile City, a nonprofit innovation consultancy that launched in June of 2020. Previously, she worked as Project Coordinator for Venture Café Winston-Salem and loved connecting with and learning from local innovators and thought leaders at their weekly community events. A recent graduate of UNC-Chapel Hill’s Hussman School of Journalism and Media, Mary Glen specializes in news writing, social media management and event planning, and has recently experimented with branding, graphic design and web development. She looks forward to the opportunity to share more amazing stories from the Winston-Salem entrepreneurial community in her new role at Agile City.

Outside of work, Mary Glen enjoys photography, podcasts, hiking and running outdoors, and is currently learning how to be a good plant mom – any tips are much appreciated.

HEATHER PHILON

In March of 2019, Heather Philon joined Venture Café Winston-Salem, a nonprofit organization designed to broaden, connect and support the innovation community. In her capacity as Program Coordinator, she oversaw logistics of the nonprofit’s signature Thursday Gatherings. As VCWS transitions to its new permutation – Agile City – Heather is now serving in the enhanced capacity of Operations and Projects Manager. Heather’s passion for project management has emerged over time, increasing as she has excelled at a series of administrative opportunities throughout her early career. Heather’s transition to Operations and Projects Manager with Agile City represents her first full project management experience. As Agile City grows, Heather looks forward to leveraging her skill set across a broader platform in service to the city she loves.

Heather lives in town with her husband, Logan, and cat, Cosmo. In her free time, she most enjoys cooking, experiencing nature and teaching herself new things.

MONIQUE FARRELL SMITH

Monique Farrell Smith is a proud Salem College graduate and nonprofit professional and has called Winston-Salem home since 1997. Since graduating in 2001, she has worked solely at nonprofit organizations, ranging in scope from higher education, the arts, and health and human services. Her time at organizations such as SECCA, the American Red Cross, the Winston-Salem Chamber of Commerce and Forsyth County United Way has perfectly prepared her for her new role as Executive Director at United Fund of Surry. She is eager to more deeply engage Surry County residents around the organization’s mission to strengthen and serve their community by helping meet the needs of their neighbors. She believes passionately in leaving this world better than she found it and has worked tirelessly towards that end. Her loving husband, two stepchildren, many friends and wonderful family have her heart, but her love of community comes in at a close second.

Monique can usually be found (wearing a mask, of course) at locally owned restaurants, coffee shops and vineyards, sharing time and celebrating life with those she loves.

October 2020 | 119

ACTIVATE YOUR PROFILE

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

LinkedIn hosts more than 600 million professional profiles – do you know what that means? It means an endless amount of networking and job possibilities. Some people estimate that almost 85% of jobs are filled through networking – that sounds awful for folks that don’t have a wide professional network, but incredibly inspiring for those looking to tap into the power that LinkedIn yields.

This doesn’t mean fill out the bare minimum and hope for things to happen – this means take advantage of all the features and advantages that LinkedIn has to offer. In a world overwhelmed by social media, this might sound a bit much: never fear, here are a few things to immediately make your profile stand out:

HEADSHOT, AND CLEAR Yes, you know you need to have a headshot and it needs to look like you – especially if you meet people in person. Have you made sure that the headshot is clear and hi-res?

You could have a beautiful iPhone camera photo as your headshot, as long as it’s clear and crisp. The moment your features start blurring or the image is fuzzy, you lose some of the polish you’re looking to achieve with your headshot.

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF SUMMARY That summary? It’s a great place to respond to, “Tell me about yourself.” Usually, that type of a question is asked during job interviews or at networking events, so think of why you are using LinkedIn in the first place – are you looking for a better job? A career change? A mentor? To keep in touch or connect with people in your field? Craft your summary around your reasons for being on the platform in the first place. If you don’t have a specific reason, make one! Even something as “simple” as networking is a reason.

HEADLINES AREN’T JOB TITLES That one-liner on top of your profile? Don’t list your current job title – this is a great place for a mini-summary of your summary! Take a look at your summary and think about a short phrase or sentence that both describes you and sums up your summary paragraph. I’ve swapped my own from “Chronic Connector and Speaker” to “Status Quo Disruption” to “Captain Marvel of Small Businesses” – and will probably change it again in a few weeks. It’s a fun way to have a catchy intro to someone scrolling through profiles – and a great way to show some personality.

COVER PHOTOS AND VIDEOS A game-changer for me was a great cover photo. I had my friend make my recent book and great review into a cover photo (the rectangular photo at the top of your profile), and so many people asked me about my book and the review. You don’t have to make it an accomplishment – you should make it something personal. Maybe you work in a field that offers a great photo, or something interesting from your day-to-day work – even a nice and eye-catching map or graph is a great choice for that space. Before you land on a photo, make sure to test it out with your photo and be sure you’re not giving yourself a weird halo of imagery on your profile – simple and clean is better than busy!

GET RECOMMENDATIONS! You’re probably connected with people you know or have worked with – a good idea is to ask them for a recommendation to start buffing up your profile. You can always offer one in return, and when you ask, be sure to ask a few people at once, that way you’re not waiting for one person to respond – and one person that might not check LinkedIn! These are only a few tips to get your LinkedIn game ready and strong.

Try one or all, and get connecting!

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BOOKKEEPING | QUICKBOOKS CONSULTING | PAYROLL Free initial consultation for bookkeeping

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P R O F E SS I O N A L WO M E N O F W I N STO N - S A L E M Professional Development • Connections • Support

Wayne Collins Electric

Professional BrandiWomReagan wn of Winston-SaA Voice for the Voiceless: Building the Dragonfly House, lem a Children’s Advocacy Center Wednesday, October 14th, 2020 | 11:30am - 1pm

Footnote Coffee & Cocktails 4th Street, Winston-Salem

pwws.org Exciting News! We’re back at Footnote!

Due to limited seating capacity, pre-registration is required.

A virtual option will also be available.

October 2020 | 121

ALL Beautiful Women – ALL Different Types –

BY SUSAN B.B. SCHABACKER

All too often we fall into a narrow, closed-minded way of thinking of beauty in a limited, cookie-cutter kind of way. I believe God sees us all as beautiful in our own unique and special ways, and that’s how we should see ourselves to value both our inner and outer beauty.

There’s more to beauty than meets the eyes and there’s definitely more than one type of beauty. Sometimes we miss out on the individual beauty that we were born with and have grown into.

Here are some beauty types that you might relate to, but, of course, you don’t have to fit into any category or mold. You are beautiful just the way you are – the natural you.

HELPFUL + HEARTFUL You are all heart and value innermost beauty most. You can’t get any more caring or compassionate. You are a humble woman who counts her blessings and is filled with gratitude. Your number one mission is to help and give back. You are sweet and sensitive, putting others’ needs and desires before your own. If you were a symbol, you’d be – you guessed it – a huge heart! Your beauty is truly timeless and extremely important.

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INTERESTINGLY INTELLIGENT + INTUITIVE

ELEGANT + ETHNIC + EXOTIC

You are known for your savvy smartness. You’re not lacking in brightness and enjoy being clever and witty.

These qualities are both attractive and admirable. Your beauty is in figuring things out, answering questions, and solving problems. One word of warning: you may be in high demand! Friends and even strangers who are aware of your intelligence and/or intuitiveness may not want to leave you alone. Remember, it’s okay to say “no” and guard your time and space.

You are a rare beauty. You have a unique, strong ethnic look that people often associate with a particular place, country, or culture. You have the elegant, exotic, and ethnic look that turns heads and makes you unusually beautiful. In the fashion and modeling world, “ethnic” has had plenty of sun in the spotlight as an “in” beauty trend. So, if you’ve got Asian almond-shaped eyes, flaunt them just as they are. If you have a broad nose, don’t try to contour it. Be proud of your facial features. Don’t try to try to change your beauty or fit into a mold.

COOL + CURRENT, CONTEMPORARY CLASSIC You are modern and contemporary. You stay current, up to date, and with the times. Your beauty is fresh, and so 2020. You remain informed on what is “in” this year and coming up in trends. You are anything but old-looking (no matter your actual age). If you were a type of art, you’d be modern art and perhaps a bit abstract with elements of colorful cubism and geometric shapes. If you were a color scheme, you’d probably be bright, neon colors – refreshing and clean. Your type of music can’t quite be defined, though some may consider it more “indie.”

CLEAN, CLASSY CLASSIC You are a classic, classy class act. Your beauty is timeless and you will never look dated. Your style is clean, simple, and streamlined. You are well-groomed and tailored, but not overdone or high maintenance.

You never go wrong with a black and white wardrobe, and when dressing up, you look elegant in pearls. If you were an herb, you’d probably be rosemary - a classic to many dishes or a beautiful garnish. If you were a fruit, you’d probably be a lemon, a classic addition of refreshing flavor.

MARVELOUS + MAGFNIFICENT + MULTI-CULTURAL MIX You are an interesting and unusual mixture of different cultures that makes people wonder what you are composed of. You represent the beauty of the world uniting with diversity that should be encouraged and appreciated. If you were a type of cuisine, it would be fusion – a variety of foods that join together to create a harmonious meal. If you were a musical genre, you’d be an eclectic mix of different styles.

There are so many more types of beauty to share! Every woman is beautiful in her own unique way – both inside and out. So appreciate and celebrate the beauty in you, and be your own kind of beautiful!

Chermak & Hanson

Savers Health

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The “Feeling Good ‘Cause You Look Good” Dry Cleaner

Please text 336.712.0300 for flavor availability and to place your orders.

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Whole 7” cakes $29.99-$39.99 Whole 9” cakes $39.99-$49.99

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Slices $4.25/$4.50/$5.00 depending on the flavor

SOME OF OUR FLAVORS…

Pink Lemonade | Triple Chocolate | Strawberry Layer | Vanilla Salted Caramel Chocolate Turtle | Italian Cream | Piña Colada | Vanilla Old Fashion Neapolitan | Hummingbird | Banana Pudding | Triple Chocolate Coconut Cream | Carmel Apple | Strawberries & Cream | Lemon Blueberry Almond Macchiato | Birthday Cake | Cafe Mocha | Strawberry Shortcake

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plus many many more… please text for all flavors available that day

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336.712.0300 | ChristinasDessertery.com

getwoshbox.com October 2020 | 123

RJ & Kelsey Gallman Congratulations RJ & Kelsey Gallman on their wedding September 12,2020 at Holden Beach We are so proud of you and love you both so much!

Mom and Dad

A Book Launch Celebration & Opportunity to Help Support the Second Harvest Food Bank of Northwest North Carolina!

Nationally recognized poet, Terri Kirby Erickson, a resident of Forsyth County, along with Press 53, will be celebrating the publication of Terri’s sixth collection of poetry, A Sun Inside My Chest, on Thursday, October 8, at 7 PM Eastern on ZOOM. From 7 – 10 PM that evening, Terri and her husband will be donating $1 for every book sold, and Press 53 will match it, to the Second Harvest Food Bank of Northwest NC. Visit www.Press53.com for details on signing up or www.terrikirbyerickson.com for more information about her award-winning work.

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SIOBHAN LORRAINE PHOTOGRAPHY

Isaiah Terence Jerez July 6th, 2020 at 11:25pm • 8lbs 2oz • 21 1/2” long • Taryn & Leo Jerez of Winston-Salem

October 2020 | 125

“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.”

My Grace-Full Life

(Ephesians 2:8-9 ESV)

MyGraceFullLife.com Read My Grace-Full Life each month in Forsyth Family!

NC Prep Photos

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Hire the best sports photographer around!

brad@ncprepphotos.com — ncprepphotos.com — 336.813.1120

Dawson Tree Service

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KELLEY CARNALL

Independent Consultant

Rodan + Fields, Kelley Carnall

Rodan + Fields is changing skin and changing lives by partnering with independent business owners across the US to redefine the future of aging.

www.rodanandfields.com Call Today: 336-391-2735

Singing Bird Salon

Be Fabulous. Be Green.

Be Eco Chic.

An Organic Hair Salon p 336 778 2234

6341 cook avenue ste b clemmons nc 27012

After the Virus

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Tue-Fri 10-6 | Sat 10-2

By Appointment

COME TEST DRIVE A NEW OR PREOWNED CAR, TRUCK OR SUV

Modern Toyota,George George Kortesis Kortesis

Modern Toyota Winston-Salem, 3178 Peters Creek Parkway 336.785.3100 Please call for appointment.

Chrystal Yates 336-399-3873

Goin’ Postal

Chrystal.Yates@Allentate.com

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Susanna Nunn Insurance Agency, Inc.

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State Farm, Kendall BodKendall fordBodford

Insurance Account Representative

Bus 336-993-4600 Fax 336-993-4615 kendall@nunnagency.net 805 N Main St | Kernersville, NC

proud supporter Emerson Designs

Find us on Facebook Susanna Nunn State Farm Insurance

of Forsyth Magazines

252.558.2331 | aron.emersondesigns@gmail.com

October 2020 | 127

SECOND WEDNESDAYS

OCTOBER 13

PROFESSIONAL WOMEN OF WINSTON-SALEM MEETING 11:30am-1pm, Footnote on 4th Street in W-S. Join PWWS for the monthly meeting.

Learn more at PWWS.org. Due to limited seating capacity, pre-registration is required.

A virtual option will also be available.

FREE ESTATE PLANNING WEBINAR 6:30pm, Salem Law – Online. How to protect your “stuff” in three easy steps. This workshop covers frequently asked questions and common misconceptions regarding: Wills & Trusts, Asset Protection, Nursing Home Issues, Medicaid Qualification and Estate Taxes. When it comes to sorting facts from fiction in estate planning, we provide leadership. We help our clients and professionals in the field, create individual solutions that work. We have a variety of workshops designed that teach fundamental estate planning concepts.

Morning and evening sessions are regularly available.

The choice of a lawyer is an important decision and should not be based solely upon advertisements.

All workshops are free and open to the public.

Attendees received a free consultation with Attorney Daniel J. Umlauf. www.salemestateplanning.com

NOW THROUGH JAN 3 “TRAVEL ADVENTURE” EXHIBIT Kaleideum North, 400 West Hanes Mill Road in W-S. You can go ANYWHERE – over land, sea or air – in the new exhibit! Using LEGO® bricks, visitors can think creatively to plan and build vehicles to move through all kinds of terrain, including mountains, jungles, oceans and deserts…just to name a few!

Included with museum admission and free for Kaleideum members. kaleideum.org/

OCTOBER 2-11

Dog Portrait

HAYLEY PAIGE BRIDAL TRUNK SHOW Nitsa’s Apparel, 107 South Stratford Road in W-S. Nitsa’s offers the finest selection of couture bridal gowns, bridesmaid dresses, veils, accessories, social occasion and cocktail dresses, sportswear and cosmetics.

As the Carolinas’ Couture Bridal Salon, Nitsa’s provides its signature personal service and exceptional in-house alterations.

Fabulous since 1964! nitsas.com

OCTOBER 8 GIRLS’ NIGHT OUT 4-9pm, The Grille at the Glen, 1000 Glen Day Drive in Clemmons. Grab a friend, neighbor, co-worker, mother, sister, SOMEBODY and have a much-needed Girls’ Night Out. Enjoy $6 appetizers, half-priced wine by the glass or bottle, $2 domestic beer and $5 sangria. Also, enjoy 10% off take out with curbside pickup available by calling 712.1010 x6. Seating availability in the main dining room and lots of outdoor patio seating. As always, we’ll have our fabulous prize board!

BOOK LAUNCH CELEBRATION & SECOND HARVEST FOOD BANK FUNDRAISER 7pm, Zoom. Nationally recognized poet, Terri Kirby Erickson, a resident of Forsyth County, along with Press 53, will be celebrating the publication of Terri’s sixth collection of poetry, A Sun Inside My Chest.

Terri and her husband will be donating $1 for every book sold, and Press 53 will match it, to the Second Harvest Food Bank of NW NC. Visit www.Press53.com for details on signing up or www.terrikirbyerickson.com for more information about her awardwinning work.

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OCTOBER 16 FORSYTH HUMANE SOCIETY VIRTUAL FURR BALL 2020 7:30-8:30pm. Presented by Bob King Automotive Group, the Furr Ball is going live online! Come together with your fellow pet lovers for our first online Furr Ball from the comfort of your home. Preregister today at bidpal.net/furrball2020.

OCTOBER 16-18 LEGENDS BY ROMONA KEVEZA BRIDAL TRUNK SHOW Nitsa’s Apparel, 107 South Stratford Road in W-S. Nitsa’s offers the finest selection of couture bridal gowns, bridesmaid dresses, veils, accessories, social occasion and cocktail dresses, sportswear and cosmetics. As the Carolinas’ Couture Bridal Salon, Nitsa’s provides its signature personal service and exceptional in-house alterations. Fabulous since 1964! nitsas.com

OCTOBER 16-22 PINK PUMPS & BOW TIES: AN AT HOME SOIREE Live auction the 16th-22nd with a live stream on the 22nd at 7pm. Join us for our online silent auction and champagne diamond giveaway. Benefits the Pretty in Pink Foundation. handbid.app.link/ppbt20

OCTOBER 17 MORRIS CHAPEL ANNUAL CHURCH BAZAAR – DRIVE-THRU ONLY 9am, Morris Chapel United Methodist Church, 2715 Darrow Road in Walkertown. Pick up preorders October 17th by drive-thru only at assigned time. Starting October 1st, see church website (morrischapel.org) to learn how to place orders.

Canned goods including lots of green beans, tomatoes and pickled beets will be for sale. We will also have frozen foods – chicken pies, corn and fried apple pies. For questions, contact the church office at 595.8101.

OCTOBER 22 THE BIG VIRTUAL EVENT HOSTED BY LEWISVILLE LASER & AESTHETICS It’s time for the best deals of the year! We’re going live and will be uploading videos throughout the day!

Tune in on our Facebook and Instagram pages (and YouTube on Friday). All deals will be shoppable at shoplewisvillelaser.com.

Giveaways include free Botox for a year, a Peloton bike, laser hair removal package, a staycation package and a tattoo removal package.

Call 945.2076 for more information.

OCTOBER 22-24 FRALEIGH’S BOUTIQUE ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION 2626 Lewisville-Clemmons Road in Clemmons. Join us for an anniversary celebration!

Buy 3, get 1 free of your choosing. Mix, match or make an entire outfit. Ladies Night until 7pm on October 22nd.

FraleighsBoutiqueNC.Com

OCTOBER 24 THE MASK-ERADE SHOPPING PARTY 10am-6pm, Simply Sterling & Company, 5275 Robinhood Village Drive in The Village at Robinhood. Come for the sales, stay for the friends!

Join us for a day of shopping, socializing and savings as we present you with a simply amazing selection as well as a special gift with purchase! www.simplysterling.com

OCTOBER 30 LEWISVILLE-CLEMMONS CHAMBER OF COMMERCE 1ST ANNUAL GOLF TOURNAMENT Bermuda Run Country Club West Course. For more info. Contact denise@ lewisville-clemmons.com.

For sponsorship information, contact meika@lewisvilleclemmons.com. Rain date is Friday, November 13th.

LCCGOLFTOURNEY.COM

NOVEMBER 6-8 PRONOVIAS BRIDAL TRUNK SHOW Nitsa’s Apparel, 107 South Stratford Road in W-S. Nitsa’s offers the finest selection of couture bridal gowns, bridesmaid dresses, veils, accessories, social occasion and cocktail dresses, sportswear and cosmetics. As the Carolinas’ Couture Bridal Salon, Nitsa’s provides its signature personal service and exceptional in-house alterations. Fabulous since 1964! nitsas.com

NOVEMBER 7 COLFAX PERSIMMON FESTIVAL 10am-4pm, Historic Stafford Farm, 558 North Bunker Hill Road in Oak Ridge. Celebrating persimmons and traditional farming, with live demonstrations, music, arts & crafts, food and beverage, and more. Free parking off-site; handicapped parking on-site. $10 for age 12 and up; 11 and under, free. www.colfaxpersimmonfest. com

NOVEMBER 10-11 LETTERS FROM HOME 10-YEAR REUNION SHOW High Point Theatre, 220 East Commerce Avenue in High Point. Experience the juxtaposition of nostalgia and music during the Letters From Home 10-YearReunion Show, as guests and former performers of the past 10 years join together to share music, singing, energetic tap-dancing and laughter all in honor of our nation’s veterans. Cost: $25/person.

NOVEMBER 14 TRIAD LUNGE FORWARD 5K, RUN, WALK & CELEBRATION 8am-12pm, Center City Park, 200 North Elm Street in Greensboro. Join us for the 13th annual Triad LUNGe Forward 5K Run, Walk, & Celebration! From the 5K race to the celebration rally to the kid’s dash, this year’s event will include a variety of activities for the entire family. The Triad LUNGe Forward 5K Run, Walk, & Celebration will be a day of celebration and remembrance, as well as a day to take action and provide hope to those impacted by lung cancer.

However you choose to participate, your support will make an impact in the fight against lung cancer in North Carolina. Cost: $15-$35/person. triad. lungeforward.org

Wine Bar Supplies NC produced Market Goods Take N Bake Meals Butcher Shop Items

Wine Merchants

NOVEMBER 20-22 RIVINI & ALYNE BRIDAL TRUNK SHOW Nitsa’s Apparel, 107 South Stratford Road in W-S. Nitsa’s offers the finest selection of couture bridal gowns, bridesmaid dresses, veils, accessories, social occasion and cocktail dresses, sportswear and cosmetics. As the Carolinas’ Couture Bridal Salon, Nitsa’s provides its signature personal service and exceptional in-house alterations. Fabulous since 1964! nitsas.com

*DISCLAIMER: EVENT DETAILS ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE. PLEASE CHECK EVENT WEBSITES & SOCIAL MEDIA PAGES FOR UPDATES AS THE DATES DRAW NEAR.*

Vin205.com (336) 765-8175 205 S. Stratford Rd. Suite N | Winston-Salem, NC 27103 WineMerchantsVin205

winemerchantsbistro

October 2020 | 129

Conversations with Your BFF We all think that we have more time than we really do to travel, do things we love, and make things right with loved ones.

But one day, the last grain of sand drips through the hourglass and there are no more weeks, days, or minutes to resolve a relationship with an estranged loved one. So how do you make peace after a loved one passes if some issues were left unresolved? I’m glad you asked, but hate I have the life experience to answer.

A LIFETIME OF WHAT-IFS My mom and I had been in a tense place for several years brought on by me deciding to establish boundaries late in life. As an only child, I became the glue that held a dysfunctional marriage together, a therapist from an early age to listen to my parents’ issues with each other, and an escape for my mom from her non-existent relationship with my dad. I became the one she did everything with and we were tight, but I didn’t realize it was unhealthy until much later in life, after years of built-up stress from all the roles I held in her life. When I finally figured how to get some distance from mom, it was hurtful to her, thus painful to me. Long story short, I didn’t speak on a regular basis to my mom for seven years.

When we did talk, it was often about how she wanted things back as they were and then the comment that hurt the most… ‘The day you got married and left, my life ended.

Why didn’t you just stay home?’ I realized there was no going back, and keeping her and my dad at arm’s length was all I could do. Fast forward to a day in July of this year.

My mom was in an assisted living facility and had been there for six years for memory loss and dementia. I spoke to her off and on over those many years. She began to decline and I went to visit dressed like a surgeon, covered head to toe due to the COVID issue. I sat by her side, her breathing labored and her eyes closed, and just covered our life together as mom and daughter, in a rambling monologue. A few times her eyes opened, but I don’t think she knew who I was or where she was.

Mom was fighting to stay after not eating for two weeks, so I told her that she could go and that I would be ok. I knew the life that awaited her when she left the frail body she was trapped in was far better than the one she was in now. That time together was much needed for me to accept the past and what I was actually grieving.

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How Can I Have Peace When an Estranged Loved One Dies?

BY REBECCA COOPER

YOU’RE NEVER PREPARED Even with the time I had with mom and the six-year decline of her physical and mental health, I wasn’t ready for her to go. I hadn’t prepared my heart or my mind for what the loss would mean. Since we weren’t close, what exactly was I grieving anyway?

It finally hit me during an uncontrollable crying spell, that more than anything, I was grieving the loss of the dream of what I always wanted the relationship to be. I pictured myself as that little girl standing between her parents, refereeing a verbal fight, thinking, ‘Can’t you just love each other?’ I held on to that dream until the moment I walked out of my mom’s room. I also grieved the fact that there was no time left to mend the wide chasm between us. It really was done and had come to its end.

As I held my mom’s hand in my gloved hand, I knew that not only did I have to let the past go, but I had to let her go. So I whispered in her ear, the names of those who awaited her on the other side and that Heaven was beyond anything that we could ever comprehend and I didn’t blame her in breaking her earthly bonds.

Mom passed in mid-July of this year, and with everything that has to be handled, I don’t think my grieving has begun. I looked up the stages of grief and in one instant I want to go through them fast and get them over with, and then in the next, I want to feel so much of what I haven’t most of my life. So I wait and have turned it all over to God and asked him to walk me through each day. So far he hasn’t let me down and I doubt He will.

If you find yourself in this situation, no one should judge you because no one knows what went on behind the doors of your childhood. I know in my heart that I reached out over the years to reconcile and mom wasn’t interested in a healthy relationship, but wanted the unhealthy one back. The time two weeks before she passed was priceless. Do I think she heard me? I’m not sure; some say it is possible, and others say it’s doubtful, but I know we connected on a level we hadn’t in years and that is what matters. Even if we couldn’t get our relationship right in this life, I know in the next, it will be perfect.

DINING ROOM NOW OPEN

farm fresh meets sophisticated dining TUESDAY Half Price Wine by the Glass WEDNESDAY Half price Whiskey & Bourbon THURSDAY $3 Off Martinis SUNDAY $5 Absolut Pepper Bloody Marys & $4 Mimosas

Young Cardinal Cafe & Co

321 WEST FOURTH STREET | WINSTON SALEM | 336.448.1714 | WWW.JEFFREYADAMSWS.COM TUESDAY-THURSDAY 4pm-9pm | FRIDAY - SATURDAY 4pm-10pm | SUNDAY 4pm-9pm

Jeffrey Adams on Fourth

Curbside Pickup and To-Go-Service Browse our special menu at YoungCardinalWS.com and call us at 336-448-5188 to place your order.

424 4th Street NW, Winston-Salem (formally Hutch & Harris)

H O U R S : M o n d a y C l o s e d | Tu e s d a y - S u n d a y 8 a m - 3 p m October 2020 | 131

Marzano Captial Group

Join us in welcoming

Brandon James to the Marzano Capital Group team!

Brandon James, Financial Advisor Marzano Capital Group

336-766-0464 · marzanocapitalgroup.com

WEALTH MANAGEMENT · RETIREMENT & INSURANCE PLANNING · EXECUTIVE & EMPLOYEE BENEFITS · 529 PLANS FOR COLLEGE Securities offered through LPL Financial Member FINRA/SIPC. Investment advice offered through Independent Advisor Alliance, a registered investment advisor. Independent Advisor Alliance and Marzano Capital Group are separate entities from LPL Financial.

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