FW March 2021

March 2021

WFBH Orthopaedics & Joint Care

DINE IN, CARRY OUT AND CURBSIDE DELIVERY

Your Neighborhood Dinner Destination

Midtown Cafe & Dessertery

s e t i or v a F d oo F t or f om C r y l i You a D m p 2 1 e l b a l i Now Ava DAILY SPECIALS 1/2 Price Wine Mondays Kids Eat Free Tuesdays (after 3pm) $8 Shrimp Tacos Wednesday (after 3pm) $8 Burgers Thursday (after 3pm) $10 Fish N Chips Friday (after 3pm)

Hearty Meat Lasagna Chicken & Dumplings Butternut Squash Lasagna Pot Roast Fish N Chips And Many More

151 S. STRATFORD ROAD | WINSTON-SALEM, NC 27104 | 336.724.9800 | MIDTOWNCAFEWS.COM

Second Harvest Food Bank

Navigation at Home

Best Asian Restaurant & Runners Up Sushi 2020 NEW:

DINING ROOM NOW OPEN! Monday - Thursday 11:30am - 9:30pm Friday 11:30 - 10pm Saturday Noon - 10pm Sunday Noon - 9pm

HakkaChow

!SAFETY INFORMATION!

WEAR WAIT WASH

a mask when you go out or are around others and social distancing is not possible

at least six-feet apart when standing in line your hands frequently, and for at least 20 seconds with soap and water

Biggest Sake Selection in the Triad.

More than 20 different Sake available.

NEW WEEKLY DRINK SPECIALS Monday all wine bottles 30% off Tuesday all moscow mule cocktails $3 off Wednesday all mojito cocktails $3 off Thursday half price wine by the glass Friday half price flavored sake by the glass Saturday bottled beer $1.50 off and draft beer $2 off Sunday mimosas and bloody marys $5

Winner Best Asian

Best Sushi Runner Up

(336) 893-8178 | hakka-chow.com 615 Saint George Sq Ct | Winston-Salem, NC 27103 (Right off Hanes Mall Blvd. across from the Wynnsong 12 Movie Theater)

Lewisville Laser & Aesthetics

JEJ Photos

Massage Envy

@forsythmags

14 Keeping it Real 26 Releasing the “Shoulds” Changing 28 Voices Communities

the 40 InSpotlight

18

STORY 48 COVER Beautycounter: Being the Bright Spot

The Art Beat 54 NEW! of Forsyth Woman

Do You Stick 74 How to a Boundary?

48

COVER STORY

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up…

90 Breaking with your phone

84

22

32

46

34 March 2021 | 11

PUBLISHER Brooke Eagle Brooke@ForsythMags.com

The Publisher Perspective

EDITOR Keela Johnson Keela@ForsythMags.com

SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE

o the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”

- Maya Angelou

Tamara Bodford

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Kristi Marion Heather Spivey

This month, I asked our team to let us in on the BEST advice they’ve ever received. You can see their responses on page 94 I’ve received a ton of great advice in my lifetime, but the Maya Angelou quote above stands out as some of the best.

It speaks to me because I’ve absolutely done things I’m not proud of—but at those times, I didn’t know better. This quote inspires me because it reminds me that no matter our age, we’re all doing the best we can and striving to know better so that we can do better in the future.

ADVERTISING Advertising @ForsythMags.com

EDITORIAL DIRECTOR Vonda Henderson

BACK OFFICE & VIRTUAL ASSISTANT The Office Nerd, Denise Heidel

COVER PHOTOGRAPHER Jodie Brim Photography

Speaking of amazing women like Maya Angelou…

You may have known March 8th is International Women’s Day, but did you know the month of March is Women’s History Month? While Forsyth Woman celebrates (ALL) women all year long, this month is extra special. Be sure to check out Elisa’s article on Women’s History Month on page 52 as well as learn more about a special Women Build Program through Habitat for Humanity of Forsyth County on page 58

CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS JEJ Photos Jodie Brim Photography Photo Artistry by Melinda

CONTENT EDITORS Kim Beane Meghan Corbett (Assistant)

Jennifer Ertl, Founding Member and Managing Director with Beautycounter, is gracing our March cover! The Beautycounter mission is to get safer products into the hands of everyone. I know I’m not the only one that has been shocked to see how many harmful chemicals are in everyday beauty products we’re using—from deodorant to foundation and everything in-between. Having a mother that has survived cancer not once but twice, definitely causes me to take a second look at the chemicals I’m putting into and onto my body.

Although COVID has forced us to shift many things, we’re thrilled to share details on how two local events are moving forward in exciting ways. Second Harvest Food Bank’s Empty Bowls celebrates its 20th Anniversary this year—learn more about this year’s event on page 4! The well-known SECU Family House Men Who Cook event has been reimagined as well! Learn more on page 71.

JODIE BRIM PHOTOGRAPHY

SENIOR STAFF WRITERS Meghan Corbett Carolyn Peterson

OTHER CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Jen Brown Karen Cooper Elisa Coppede Aron Daniels Martie Emory Amy Hill Taryn Jerez Jean Marie Johnson Debbie Lanier Brooke Orr Tabatha Renegar Susan Schabacker Lauren Sephton Megan Taylor *others credited throughout accordingly

Introducing our readers to local businesses is at the core of our mission and in this issue, we are proud to continue that. From meeting the team at the Barn at Country Club to learning about the new products and services offered at Alkali Hair Salon’s new location off West End Blvd, we’ve got you covered!

GRAPHIC DESIGN & PRODUCTION

We hope you’ll learn a few new things about our amazing community in the upcoming pages… and as always, be sure to give @forsythmags a follow on social media!

Nu | NuExpression.com

Emerson Designs

WEB DESIGN/ MAINTENANCE CONTACT ForsythWoman.com 888-892-3204

All my best,

Brooke Eagle, Publisher

Forsyth Woman Disclaimer: Please note that the inclusion of stories and articles in Forsyth Woman magazine does not imply endorsement of products or people. The views of the authors are presented for information and entertainment only, and may not necessarily reflect the views of Forsyth Woman. Specifically, Forsyth Woman in no way endorses any claim associated with health and/or well being with respect to any particular person. We disclaim all warranties, express or implied, including, but not limited to, implied warranties of merchantability and fitness for a particular purpose. We will not be held responsible or liable, directly or indirectly, for any loss or damage that is caused or alleged to have been caused in connection with the use of, or reliance on, any content in this magazine. Forsyth Woman reserves the right to deny any advertisement or listing that does not meet Forsyth Woman standards. Submissions are welcome but unsolicited materials are not guaranteed to be returned. Forsyth Woman assumes no responsibility for information, products, services or statements made by advertisers or editorial contributors. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher is prohibited. ©2005 by Forsyth Woman, Inc.

BROOKE NOTES

Barn on Country Club

Winston-Salem’s Best Kept Secret!

Home Decor | Artwork Custom Built Tables, Benches & Much More!

336-661-8400 | thebarnoncountryclub.com 4886 Country Club Road Winston-Salem Closed Monday, Tuesday-Saturday 10am-6pm, Sunday 12-6pm

Keeping It Real THE POSTURE OF THE HEART

BY DR. DEBBIE LANIER

If you want to rile someone up these days, start talking about injustice. It’s the buzzword of our time. Truly! If you want to sway emotions toward your cause, simply describe it in the context of a wrong perpetrated and its absolute unfairness.

While some have experienced graver levels of injustice than others, every breathing human knows what it’s like to be wronged. All of us carry reasons to harbor pain and lug around residual bitterness.

We can glean so much wisdom from this Old Testament dude named Joseph. Talk about injustice! This guy kept doing right but got sucker-punched at every turn.

Joseph’s own brothers threw him in a pit, then secretly peddled him off to slave traders. Next, his taskmaster’s wife lied through her teeth about Joseph when she didn’t get her way. This injustice landed him in prison. Even in that dingy dungeon, he helped a guy out, only to be snubbed again.

This poor fella suffered one injustice after another for seventeen years straight with no perceivable escape from the unfairness.

(Read that again! SEVENTEEN YEARS!) You would assume that Joseph’s anger festered in that prison cell, that this victim of injustice daily rehearsed all the ways of getting back at those who wronged him. (Honesty presses me to admit, I likely would.)

Folks, how we respond to our grievance determines our destiny. The posture of our heart in the midst of our pain decides what comes next!

After seventeen seemingly endless years of injustice, God moved suddenly on Joseph’s behalf. Without warning, the prisoner was called before the king to do what nobody else could do. (God made sure of it!) In that watershed moment, Joseph shined with such humility and wisdom that the king promoted this prisoner to second-in-command over the nation.

Are we getting this? In moments, God elevated Joseph from rags to riches, from the prison to the palace! And get this: Joseph then ruled over every single person who had wronged him along the way!

(What would you do with that kind of power?

I just heard your thoughts.)

Don’t miss this. If Joseph had grown bitter and built his life upon the conversation of injustice, he would never have stepped into his destiny. The power to destroy others would have destroyed him.

Joseph didn’t perpetually nurse his wounds in the waiting. He made a daily choice to pursue the God of Justice and knew that somehow, some way, God would fight for him and win! AND GOD DID! Are we ready for the “suddenly” of God? Or have we allowed bitterness to infiltrate our soul and build a high-rise there? If we keep focusing on what we went through, we’ll

never break through! Our most important opportunities may come when we least expect them. What we do in the meantime determines our capacity to maximize them.

Joseph's continuous prayer life kept his focus on the God of Justice rather than the injustices perpetrated against him. Even in the most unjust moments of his living, he kept a Praise in his mouth and great Faith in his heart!

Sure, you were wronged. I get it! But allowing yourself to wallow in victimhood is stifling your capacity to handle the “suddenly” God wants to bring into your story. Floundering in self-pity only sinks you deeper into the pit. It will NEVER bring you out of that wounded place!

So, shake off your fixation on the injustice.

Fix your eyes on the God of Justice, the One who fights for you and brings your “suddenly” when you’re ready to handle it!

It’s imperative! Your destiny depends upon it!

For comments or prayer, contact Dr. Lanier at PastorDebbie@HopeCommunityChurch.tv.

It’s their day, but wow, look at you!

The perfect dress for the Mother of the Bride (& Groom)

Fraleigh’s Boutique

3 3 6 - 7 6 6 -74 4 0 FraleighsBoutiqueNC.com MONDAY-FRIDAY 10AM-5PM | SATURDAY 10AM-4PM 2626 LEWISVILLE-CLEMMONS RD. CLEMMONS, NC 27012

Are you at risk for deep vein thrombosis?

Please join us for a Q&A session on deep vein thrombosis in honor of DVT Awareness Month An interview with Dr. Rickey, leading vein specialist at Novant Health Vein Specialists 1) What is DVT, or deep vein thrombosis?

A DVT results from the formation of blood clots in the calf or thigh.

2) Why is it important for people to be aware of this condition?

The Surgeon General reports DVT affects between 350,000 and 600,000 Americans each year and is responsible for at least 100,000 deaths. The Venous Disease Coalition reports up to one million Americans are affected by DVT each year.

DVT blood clots cause more deaths each year than AIDS and breast cancer combined.

3) What are some of the risk factors and warning signs of DVT? Smoking and immobility (like during air travel) are among the most common risk factors. Pregnancy and obesity can also cause DVT. In some cases, these blood clots can travel to the heart and lungs causing severe complications, including death. 50% of DVTs can occur with little or no symptoms.

Warning signs include pain, swelling or redness of the legs, or unexplained cough, chest pain or shortness of breath.

4) How often and at what age should someone be screened for DVT? Depending on risk factors, anyone can be screened for venous disease and risk for DVT. In general, the risk goes up with age, but young patients with other risk factors should also be screened. Common risk factors include varicose veins, obesity, surgery, cancer therapy, immobility, oral contraceptive use and smoking. Anyone with a history of DVT or a family history of DVT or pulmonary embolism is also at risk and should be screened. If you have a negative screening, rescreening should be done if any of your risk factors change over time.

Visit us at: SalemVeins.com

5) Why is leg health so important?

Taking care of your legs will allow you to spend more quality time with your family, no matter how old you are. Being aware of your overall health is always important, and everyone should take preventative steps to remain healthy rather than simply treating problems as they arise.

6) Do you offer consultation services?

Yes. Please call us today at 336-276-0776 if you think you have a DVT or have had a DVT in the past. We will perform an ultrasound and physical examination to assess your condition. We also offer free monthly consultations on: Tuesdays: March 2, April 6, May 4, June 1, July 6, August 3, September 7, October 5, November 2, December 7 Thursdays: March 18, April 22, May 20, June 17, July 22, Augut 19, September 23, October 21, November 18, December 16 7) What treatment options are available?

Customarily, blood thinners may be required to treat DVT when present.

Other patients found to be at high risk for DVT may require therapy tailored towards prevention. Only after being properly evaluated can an appropriate treatment plan be prescribed.

Novant Health Vein Specialists are conveniently located at 2827 Lyndhurst Avenue, Suite 206 in Winston-Salem and 1710 Kernersville Medical Parkway, Suite 202 in Kernersville. Call or go online to schedule your FREE CONSULTATION. Improve your life today!

Dr. Ashley Rickey

PHOTOS BY JAMES STEWART IMAGES

Club Pilates

YOUR SPACE. YOUR PLACE. Workout in your own personal station at the cleanest place in town!

Try a FREE introductory class to feel the benefits for yourself!

CLUB PILATES WINSTON-SALEM 336.717.1222 • clubpilates.com/winstonsalem • winstonsalem@clubpilates.com

BY LAUREN SEPHTON Hi! I’m Lauren. I’m a college student, freelance writer, and foodie.

Stay tuned each month to find everything from achievable dessert ideas to healthy, quick dinners that’ll happily feed the family.

. com t n e m o m w. abrightm t h g i r ww @b co oment

Blackened Lemon Mahi Mahi with Crispy Smashed Potatoes

CRISPY SMASHED POTATOES Servings: 4-6

INGREDIENTS: • 3-4 lb. small Yukon potatoes, about 14-16 potatoes • 2 tbsp. extra virgin olive oil • 1/2 tbsp. salt (for boiling) + more for sprinkling • 1/2 tsp. black pepper • 1 tsp. fresh thyme leaves INSTRUCTIONS: 1. Bring a large pot of water to a boil, then add the salt and potatoes. Cook until soft, around 20-25 minutes.

2. Preheat oven to 400F. Line a baking pan with parchment paper.

3. Drain the potatoes and let them cool in the colander for 5-10 minutes.

4. Place them on the prepared baking pan, then use a large fork or potato masher to smash them in one piece.

The thinner you smash them, the crispier they will be.

5. Let them steam dry on the baking pan for 8-10 more minutes.

6. Evenly drizzle the olive oil over the potatoes, season with salt and thyme leaves, then bake for 30-45 minutes, until deep golden brown and crispy. You do not need to flip them. Enjoy warm.

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BLACKENED LEMON MAHI MAHI Servings: 4

INGREDIENTS: • 4 mahi mahi fillets, appx. 6 ounces each • 2 tbsp. extra virgin olive oil • 1-2 lemons, juiced • 1 tsp. onion powder • 1 tsp. garlic powder • 1 tsp. paprika • 1 tsp. dried oregano • 1 tsp. dried thyme • 3/4 tsp. kosher salt • 3/4 tsp. black pepper • 1/2 tsp. cayenne pepper (optional)

INSTRUCTIONS: 1. In a small bowl, mix together the onion powder, garlic powder, paprika, dried oregano, dried thyme, salt, black pepper, and cayenne pepper.

2. Pat the mahi mahi fillets dry with paper towels, then liberally season with the spice mix on both sides. Press the seasonings into the fish with your hands.

3. In a large sauté pan over medium-high heat, add in the olive oil to warm up for 1 minute. Add the seasoned fish to cook for several minutes on both sides until golden brown, or until completely cooked through.

4. Squeeze the lemon juice over the fish before serving.

Brookridge Retirement

GOLDMAN CENTER FOR FACIAL PLASTIC SURGERY Seeing Like Never Before!

BY MARTIE EMORY

BEFORE Behind all the masks we’re wearing these days, we may be missing lots of big, beautiful smiles and hugs, but we’re definitely not missing those eyes that still manage to mirror our souls! With a more intense focus on the eyes you’re seeing above those masks – and with more time spent in Zoom meetings where we can’t help but scrutinize how we look on the computer screen – it’s not surprising that many of us are taking a closer look at what we’re facing in the mirror.

“During COVID-19 and this period of face mask wearing, our eyes have been the only part of our faces most people see,” says Dr. Neal Goldman, of the Goldman Center for Facial Plastic Surgery. With so much of our faces now regularly covered, the center has definitely experienced an increase in questions about procedures to improve both the upper and lower eyelid areas.

Plus, with so many people continuing to work from home now, the increase in cosmetic procedures makes sense.

“Our patients are realizing they can recover at home with more privacy, and not worry about missing days off work,” explains Dr. Goldman.

So, besides noticing our own eyes – are we also analyzing others and, dare we say, making comparisons?

“The most typical comment I hear from patients is that friends or family members are telling them they look more tired than usual, or worse, that they look angry all the time, when they aren’t,” says Dr. Goldman. No one enjoys hearing negative comments about their appearance, but sometimes that not-so-subtle hint nudges us to research how we can improve ourselves, and what issues we might be ready to explore.

“As we age, the diagonal drooping of the eyelid occurs (often called lateral hooding), and it’s easy to see why that makes us appear so tired,” he explains. “The upper eyelid procedure – known as blepharoplasty – can usually be done in our office, in about 45 minutes, with local anesthesia and very little discomfort. Most patients only require Tylenol afterwards, and there are also some good new medications to help with bruising, which is a positive thing.”

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AFTER If you’re contemplating your lower eyelids, know that what you’re seeing is really three little pockets of fat in each lower eyelid. This corrective procedure is known as transconjunctival blepharoplasty.

“The baby fat on our cheeks simply deflates over time,” says Dr. Goldman, explaining that’s what makes the most difference in our eyes. “You can often avoid surgery by treating the area where the fat deflates.”

Dr. Goldman also says many patients combine eyelid surgery with a brow lift. “If the patient actually lifts their eyebrow to show me exactly what’s bothering them about their eyes, that’s a very good sign they may also need a brow lift.”

If you are troubled by textured or “crepey” skin, even an improved skincare routine that includes Retin A can tighten the skin on the eyelids.

“We can actually see pretty significant results with just changes in skincare at home,” Dr. Goldman explains, pointing out that surgery is not necessarily the best solution for every situation! During COVID-19, the center has made an effort to perform most procedures in the office, but if a hospital setting is required, it takes place in a very private setting, through a hospital that does not also treat COVID-19 patients.

Ultimately, those casual comments we hear from others are typically not forgotten – and we often look in the mirror and see our parents – or grandparents! – staring back at us. Options are more readily available, and more successful than ever, as looking and feeling your very best is always worth the effort!

The Goldman Center for Facial Plastic Surgery is located at 108 Dornach Way in Advance, NC, 336-245-9595, with a satellite office at 717 Greenway Road in Boone, NC, 828-278-9230.

Get to know their philosophy on cosmetic and reconstructive services by visiting FacialPlasticSurgeryNC.com. Dr. Goldman is double board certified, from both the American Board of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery, and the American Board of Otolaryngology Head and Neck Surgery.

GOLDMAN CENTER for Facial Plastic Surgery Facial Rejuvenation Minimally Invasive Surgery Skin Rejuvenation & Fractional Laser Therapy Fillers & Injectables Aesthetic & Functional NasalGoldman Surgery Center Hair Restoration Surgery

With Offices Serving the Piedmont & the High Country 108 Dornach Way | Advance, NC (336) 245-9595 Kinderton Village – across from Bermuda Run

717 Greenway Road | Suite A | Boone, NC (828) 278-9230 NEAL D. GOLDMAN, MD Double Board Certified Facial Plastic Surgeon

FacialPlasticSurgeryNC.com

Treasures for Every Soul at

BY TABATHA RENEGAR, PHOTOS BY PHOTO ARTISTRY BY MELINDA

Step inside the welcoming main entrance of The Barn on Country Club, and you step into a nostalgic showplace that is both inspiring and full of warmth. And that’s before you even encounter the friendly owner and her team and experience their “old school customer service” philosophy.

The Barn on Country Club, an antique, vintage furniture and collectible store, opened in January 2016 as a result of owner Renee Floyd’s love of what she calls “old soul” décor items and furniture.

Together with her life partner, Mark, and business partner, Alena, Renee delights in talking with customers about what items they are seeking, large or small. In fact, she makes it a point to offer items at every price point so that every shopper can leave the store enjoying a found treasure.

But if a bigger something is what you have in mind, look no further!

Mark will create a custom, handcrafted solid wood farm table with a pair of benches that will delight you and become an instant family heirloom! When I asked Renee how Mark became a craftsman, she said he had been “piddling with woodworking,” and before they knew it, his creations were the main draw bringing customers into The Barn.

Perhaps you, like so many people, appreciate the way high-quality paint can breathe new life into old furniture pieces. And yet, you know that taking it on as a DIY project might be more than you are ready to tackle. At The Barn on Country Club, they offer a terrific selection of painted furniture available for sale and also feature painting services so that you can have one of their gifted staff customize your existing piece.

Looking for a unique piece of art to add personality and color to your home? Introducing Alena, the resident artist at The Barn.

Alena, originally from Belarus, has an associate degree in interior design that pairs nicely with her impressive talents with a paintbrush and other mediums. Alena’s art has no borders, and you’re as likely to find a cool oil and acrylic original painting as you are an engraved wood piece that features metal or glass beads.

Most retail specialty shops might be satisfied to offer the fabulous items described above and call it a day. Not Renee and her team at The Barn! Walk through the eclectic aisles and continue upstairs, and you’re going to be immediately charmed by the vintage signs, glowing neon advertising, tobacco baskets, record albums, old hardware, and collectibles – just to name a handful of the items I enjoyed during my visit.

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So, where does this unique and colorful mix of items come from? When I asked this question, Renee, who handles all the buying, immediately picked up her phone and mimicked a very recognizable “finger scroll.” This entrepreneur never really stops working and that work consists of scrolling through auction websites, downsizing sales, and more to find great pieces that can be cleaned up and given a new home. Not quite sure how to make something work in your home? Renee offers personal consultations, and The Barn provides delivery service, too! And not some generic pickup truck with a crew of brawny delivery guys - Renee is not afraid to gingerly hoist your treasure onto the lift of her box truck and head your way herself!

Naturally, we briefly discussed the 2020 pandemic and how it affected business at The Barn. Luckily, thanks to the engagement of her customers on social media, Renee reports that they had

a very good year! All credit cannot be given to Facebook, though! Renee’s sincere appreciation and care for her clientele comes through in our conversation.

Shoppers and friends would mask up and carve out time to visit The Barn, where they could count on a warm welcome and a compassionate chat.

When not scouring the internet for new treasures or creating oneof-a-kind furniture, Renee and Mark stay connected with the five adult children that they have between them, five grandchildren (another coming in June) and Lucy and JoJo, their Labranese and Husky four-legged babies.

For more information about The Barn on Country Club, or to schedule your consultation, visit thebarnoncountryclub. com, facebook.com/TheBarnOnCountryClub, pinterest.com/ thebarnoncountryclub and instagram.com/thebarnoncc.

March 2021 | 23

Keep Your Eyes Healthy

BY ALLY MERRITT

March is Workplace Eye Wellness Month. Each year, thousands of Americans visit the emergency room due to an eye injury that happened at work. While wearing approved protective eyewear to prevent these types of injuries is important, it is also important to protect your eyes from other eye conditions that may go unnoticed. Below are some frequently asked questions and tips about common conditions and diseases that could help keep your eyes healthy.

WHAT IS GLAUCOMA WHAT ARE THE SYMPTOMS? Glaucoma is a progressive eye disease that requires early diagnosis and treatment to prevent optic nerve damage and vision loss. According to the American Academy of Ophthalmology, it usually happens when fluid builds up in the front part of your eye. That extra fluid increases the pressure in your eye, damaging the optic nerve. Early symptoms may include blurred vision, halos, mild headaches, or eye pain. People with these symptoms should be checked by their ophthalmologist as soon as possible. Unfortunately, there are often no warning signs or obvious symptoms in the early stages. Jiaxi Ding, MD, and Frank Moya, MD specialize in the diagnosis and treatment of all types of glaucoma. They routinely provide care for people who are at high risk, have been diagnosed, or haven’t had success with glaucoma treatments.

WHAT ARE CATARACTS – AM I AT RISK? A cataract occurs when the normally clear lens inside the eye becomes cloudy. Age is the most common culprit, but medication use, diseases, and trauma can also cause the lens to cloud. A cataract can also be present at birth. When a cataract affects your vision, your best option is the surgical removal of the cataract and placement of an intraocular lens that permanently corrects your vision. Duke experts Terry Semchyshyn, MD, Angela Verkade, MD, Jiaxi Ding, MD, and Frank Moya, MD specialize in cataract surgery, employing innovative surgery techniques and devices to improve your vision.

WHAT IS STRABISMUS CAN IT BE TREATED?

Described by the American Academy of Ophthalmology, strabismus (crossed eyes) is a common eye condition among children.

It is when the eyes are not lined up properly and they point in different directions (are misaligned). One eye may look straight ahead while the other eye turns in, out, up, or down. These conditions can be present at birth, acquired at an early age, or develop in later childhood and adulthood. However, there are treatment options available such as eye patches, corrective lenses, prisms, vision therapy, and eye muscle surgery. Faramarz Hidaji, MD specializes in strabismus and amblyopia, reducing visual acuity in one or both eyes. He works with people of all ages who have eye movement disorders and can help identify the cause of your eye movement disorder and help you receive the most effective treatment.

DOES DRY EYE GO AWAY?

If your eyes do not produce enough tears or the right type of tears, it is called dry eye and can be very uncomfortable, leaving you with redness, blurry vision, and irritation.

Fortunately, there are many treatment options that can help. It is important to get prompt diagnosis and treatment as dry eye can worsen over time, and in some cases, lead to irreversible damage. Getting relief for dry eyes can involve trying different over-thecounter products, prescription medications, and more advanced approaches. Dianna Seldomridge, MD, specializes in the most advanced dry-eye treatments available and can recommend one or more of these treatments, depending on what works best for you.

HOW CAN I PROTECT MY EYES FROM INCREASED SCREEN TIME?

With so many working and attending school remotely, it is important to keep your eyes and your child’s eyes healthy and to avoid eyestrain - focusing on a task for a long period of time without blinking can cause your eyes to feel dry or tired. Fortunately, these symptoms typically subside once you rest your eyes or take steps to ease the discomfort. Don’t sit too close to the screen. A computer screen should be at least a forearm’s length from the face, and the height of the screen should be at or slightly below eye level. Adjust screen brightness.

It should match the light in the room.

Follow the 20/20/20 rule. At least every 20 minutes, look at something at least 20 feet away for at least 20 seconds. Remember to blink. Blinking keeps the eyes moist and is essential for eye comfort. Wear anti-glare glasses. If you or your child wears glasses, an anti-glare or anti-reflective coating reduces glare from the screen and can provide relief from eye strain. Following these tips can prevent or significantly reduce eyestrain.

However, if you or your child experience frequent headaches, blurred vision, or eye discomfort, it’s time to see an eye doctor. In some cases, signs and symptoms of eyestrain can indicate an underlying eye condition that needs treatment.

Duke Eye Center of Winston-Salem is located at 1340 Creekshire Way, Suite 100. Learn more about their services and their team of expert eye care providers at dukehealth.org/locations/ duke-eye-center-of-winston-salem or call 336-768-3240 to schedule an appointment.

Innovative Eye Care and Treatment for You and Your Family

Duke Eye Center JIAXI DING, MD

FARAMARZ HIDAJI, MD

FRANK J. MOYA, MD

Glaucoma Specialist Cataract Management

Pediatric Ophthalmologist Oculofacial Specialist

Glaucoma Specialist Cataract Management Medical Director

TERRY M. SEMCHYSHYN, MD Cornea specialist Cataract management Dry eye | LASIK

DIANNA L. SELDOMRIDGE, MD Comprehensive Ophthalmologist Dry Eye Treatment

ANGELA VERKADE, MD Cornea specialist Cataract management Dry eye LASIK

Serving Forsyth for more than 20 years Dukeeye.org | 336-768-3240 | 1340 Creekshire Way | Winston Salem, NC 27103

Releasing the “Shoulds”

BY JEAN MARIE JOHNSON

Many of us “should” on ourselves a lot.

Whether it’s about our health, as in: I should eat better I should exercise more I should lose 15 pounds.

Or about our “obligations”: I should call my step-mom already I should bring some flowers over to my sick neighbor I should donate to the food bank more often.

Or maybe for you, it’s some other type of “should,” one that’s focused outward, toward other people: You should apologize to her You should have gotten a dog by now You should try my hair stylist.

Right now, torpedoed by a barrage of shoulds, how do you feel?

I feel “crappy.” That’s because when I direct a should inward, it rarely motivates or inspires me to act.

Instead, it drags me down, making me feel guilty or deficient. Directed outward, those shoulds, however wellintended or gently-delivered, come across as judgment.

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A couple of years ago, I decided to lose my should by not saying ‘I should’ or ‘you should.’

By reframing those habits of mind and tongue, I felt intentional and empowered – which was so much better than feeling burdened, guilty, or judgmental. I realized that I was on to something. Of course, it wasn’t as if overnight, I could change a lifetime habit reinforced by culture and familiarity. Which is why I made dropping the shoulds a goal to work toward.

That approach was a far cry from my 16- yearold self who read an article, then decided she should put down the salt shaker forever.

Somewhere along the way, I realized and then accepted that while some changes can be made overnight, the majority of them take time and no small measure of self-directed kindness.

I notice that certain people in my life stir up the knee-jerk-should reaction. Case in point: my stepson and his girlfriend recently engaged in the first-time home-buying experience. The apple not falling far from the tree, the house was circa 1910 with a serious cool factor that redeemed its need for a serious restoration. As Dean and I sat eating soup on a chilly winter night, our shoulds spewed forth with abandon: They should spring for the more expensive mold inspection; they should tackle the kitchen first; they really should do their homework before they jump right in for God’s sake! In fairness, our private shoulding was based on love, concern, experience, and the strong desire to spare

these millennial first-timers from the pitfalls we had encountered. I admit: all of that shoulding was cathartic. Then we put the lid back on and reached out from a place of enthusiasm and helpfulness: Did your realtor have any suggestions regarding the inspection? We know you guys are concerned about health. Are you thinking about maybe springing for the serious mold inspection? Not saying that you need to, but it ended up saving us quite a bit in the end.

If shoulding on yourself or others is a habit you’d like to lose, consider these tips: • The Self-directed Should: Replace it with a concrete action you can take to reach the goal or express the value that matters to you (I think I’ll take a ten-minute walk to add some steps to my day).

• Give yourself an Atta Girl! For losing the guilt-driven should.

• The Other-directed Should: Replace it with a thoughtful question and relate what you say to the other person’s goals or values (“I know you’ve been lonely since Kim moved out. Have you considered getting a pet?”).

• Give yourself an Atta Girl for eliminating any suggestion of judgment.

Piedmont Federal Savings Bank

A NEW VOICE IN TOWN Our philanthropic community gained a beautiful new voice in January when Novant Health Forsyth Medical Center Foundation hired Ashley Martin as a Development Manager. Ashley believes in promoting the welfare of underserved communities through volunteering and charitable giving. She’s committed to it, so expect her in your community recruiting other do-gooders! The community connections and support she asks for helps bring much-needed healthcare and health education to people who cannot afford needed surgeries but still deserve equal access to care and a healthy quality of life. Ashley believes that, “Helping people is worth more than any salary and we can all contribute to keep our community healthy for their families, households, and workforce.”

Ashley’s background put her in a unique position to serve Novant Health: she learned the value of good health and the importance of doing the right thing from her childhood. She grew up in an African American community in Georgia where she was “fortunate enough to have an entire community that took time to be role models,” learning the importance of fellowship and service at an early age as she spent many weekends volunteering at food pantries and church fundraisers, and donating to clothing closets. Ashley’s parents both experienced debilitating medical problems that taught her the value of good health. Her father is a stroke survivor, and her mother is a two-time open-heart surgery patient and cancer survivor, both spending several months in recovery. Family members and community friends even helped pay some of the family’s monthly bills while they recovered, giving testament to generational service that Ashley has come to love and share. Ashley has recognized the same attributes in her North Carolina home, where friends and strangers alike volunteer quickly, from shoveling snow to donating money to charity and everything in between. Ashley views compassion for those in need worth supporting and she’ll do it with a winning smile. She smiles a lot!

Ashley has a BA in English from Georgia Southern, an MA in justice administration from American Military University, and an ABA paralegal certification from Gainesville State. She did not intend to go into philanthropy, but her life journey took her to four continents as a Naval military police officer, where she was often the smallest person in her unit (all of 5 feet tall) but could still handle a 50-caliber rifle (ungracefully)! Ashley recalls her military family also being equally supportive of her professionally and personally, and she is grateful that Novant Health embraced her past service and promotes their Veterans programs (she is pictured here signing Novant Health’s service recognition flag). These careers taught her the importance of health and giving back as she quotes Maya Angelou, “People will forget what you said… but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Ashley continues to smile when explaining her passion for a healthy diet.

She was raised on a typical Southern diet of sweet tea and fried everything.

For her, addressing the health disparity that exists for communities that lack healthy food choices is crucial to improving the health of minority communities. She changed her eating habits in incremental steps. First, she found a green smoothie that she liked and replaced a meal with it, and now she eats a vegan diet. It is difficult to change habits from childhood, especially ones that are culturally ingrained, but she likes to remember a saying she heard while on the Republic of Côte d’Ivoire (Ivory Coast), “Don’t dig your grave with a knife and a fork.” Seeing positive changes in her health with a change in her diet motivates her to urge others to do the same, even if it is only one meal per day.

Look for Ashley in the Winston-Salem community; she’s coming to share the best of Novant Health’s advancements for a healthier and happier experience.

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Delivering Care for Generations…

Lyndhurst

lyndhurstgyn.com 111 Hanestown Court, Suite 151 | Winston-Salem, NC 27103 | 336.765.9350 445 Pineview Drive, Suite 110 | Kernersville, NC 27284 | 336.993.4532 1908 Caudle Road, Suite 101 | Mt. Airy, NC 27030 | 336.789.9076 304 Mountainview Road | King, NC 27021 | 336.765.9350

We are in the Novant & Wake Forest Baptist Health Networks.

“First Step for March” March is here, and we are fortunate to begin a spring season with the promise of good weather. We suggest you get on the list with a contractor to add that screened-in porch or sunroom you have always wanted. One of my clients has a beautiful sunroom with windows that open up to become a screened porch. The view is phenomenal. When I am there, thoughts run through my mind of how I could add a veranda or sunroom to my home.

For this or any project, large or small, I always begin by creating a furniture layout drawing, including any outdoor planning. The furniture layout plan is the road map for the entire project. It helps me to evaluate the needs of the client.

For some houses, we plan a room that includes a fireplace, a sofa, two club chairs, an end table, a coffee table, and a rug. There is something to be said for chairs that have movement when it comes to comfort.

The client called recently and wanted to add a place for her to have breakfast. She said this is where she spends most of her eating time. We pulled her original plan out and saw that we could fit a bistro table with six chairs. Outdoor kitchens and living spaces are popular.

We are happy to help clients plan theirs. We can also purchase the furnishings. We recently created the CAD drawings for an undercover veranda, an outdoor kitchen, and all the furnishings. They have three children, and especially with COVID-19, they wanted a family Friday night theater movie screen option.

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JUNE DELUGAS LEADS AN AWARD WINNING DESIGN TEAM

Clients often call us after their project is finished, whether inside or outside, when they have lived in their homes a while and discover that they are not quite finished with their wish list. We love finishing wish lists.

God Bless,

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Shop at Bird & Co.

BY AMY HILL

Bird & Co. is not your average, run-of-the-mill boutique. What sets Bird & Co. apart from other retailers and local shops is its emphasis on giving back to the community. The boutique may be Sara and Tyler’s passion, but according to Sara, “If we weren’t able to give back, we wouldn’t want to own it.” Each month, the team at Bird & Co. holds at least one “give-back,” where a teen in foster care is awarded a shopping spree or children are sponsored for purchasing back-to-school clothes. Additionally, the shop sells monthly give-back t-shirts, with 100% of the proceeds going to a specific charity or organization. Not only do charitable organizations and those in need reap the benefits of Bird & Co.’s generosity, but customers and those who participate in supporting the boutique on social media are eligible for daily giveaways as a “thank you” from the team as well.

Prior to starting Bird & Co., Sara’s heart has always been with those less fortunate. In high school, Sara volunteered with special needs children and the Special Olympics and has always had a desire to work with children or animals. Now, Sara feels fortunate that she is in a position to provide for her family while simultaneously giving back – something she describes as a “win-win” scenario.

In need of some retail therapy? Shopping sprees without buyer’s remorse are possible when you support a local business that gives back to its community. Bird & Co. is a family-owned boutique located in Mocksville specializing in clothing, accessories, and shoes for all shapes and sizes. In addition to fashion, the boutique also sells unique home décor, candles, and gifts that you won’t find on your weekly trip to Target.

Sara King, founder of Bird & Co., was inspired by her husband Tyler to open up a clothing boutique in her bedroom as a parttime job in March 2018. With a degree in business administration management and a passion for helping others, Sara took a leap of faith, quit her job, and began working at the boutique full-time in June 2018, when the boutique established its first warehouse location in Advance. Only a few months later, in November, Sara opened the first storefront in downtown Mocksville. After having their third child in April 2019, Sara’s husband Tyler joined Sara in working full-time at Bird & Co. By that November, the pair had upgraded the boutique from its small downtown Mocksville location into a much larger, 7,000 square-foot location in Mocksville.

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When determining which brands and products to sell in the boutique, a brand’s philanthropic resume is as important to Sara and her team as the brand’s quality of merchandise. Bird & Co. carries brands that use their profits for good, such as DIFF Eyewear and Bridgewater Candles. With animals being close to Sara’s heart, the boutique also sells merchandise by FarmHouse Fresh, a cruelty-free brand specializing in natural and organic products for skincare, bath, and fragrance. FarmHouse Fresh uses its profits to help rescue abused animals and relocate them to the animal sanctuary at FarmHouse Fresh Ranch headquarters in Texas.

Looking to spruce up your spring wardrobe? The shopping experience at Bird & Co. is seamless. Employees at the boutique love to personalize customers’ shopping experiences and help customers feel beautiful in their own skin. Want to shop from your sofa? The Bird & Co. app is free of charge and allows users to shop “favorite” items and place items on a waitlist. The app also alerts users of the boutique’s Facebook live streams, which occur six days per week.

In case you’re curious about what’s trendy this year, Sara and her team have seen a surprising uptick in cow print. “Cow print is the new leopard print,” says Sara. “We can’t seem to keep it in the store because it sells out so quickly.” Unfortunately, unlike cow print, it may be time to part ways with tie-dye, as the Bird & Co. team has noticed that tie-dye is on the outs.

To keep up with the latest news, trends, merchandise, and live streams at Bird & Co., follow the boutique on Facebook and Instagram, and check out the website at shopbirdandco.com. To contact the team, call (336) 7538990, or shoot them an email at help@shopbirdandco.com

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March 2021 | 33

LEAVING THE BEAUTY INDUSTRY BETTER THAN SHE FOUND IT

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN, PHOTOS BY PHOTO ARTISTRY BY MELINDA

Alkali Hair Studio describes itself as “a modern, upscale salon for the discerning customer.”

When you talk to owner Amber Woodall, you’ll see it’s actually much more, and many of that “more” aren’t immediately apparent to a person coming in for a service.

First, let’s look at what is visible: their new location on West End Boulevard is nothing short of stunning. You walk into an airy space, well-lit by natural and warm light, and you’re immediately greeted by openness – both in the contours of the structure, and the welcoming nature of everyone that works there. COVID protocols are in place in a comforting and yet firm manner, and then your stylist sweeps you up into her private alcove where you discuss the plan of action. Your stylist is focused on you, and you can fully relax without the bustle and busyness of an overcrowded and loud salon.

“We desire to do everything with excellence,” said Amber. “Everyone is passionate about their craft and people, and I strive to create that vibe that is respectful of the person and what they want.”

The visible is apparent – she’s hired new stylists, offers skin consultations and skin services, just as planned. Even with a private experience and alcoves, the salon is busy, and clients are in love with the new space. “It’s a much larger space with a modern, but still warm, feeling,” said Kristen Pratt Machado, an Alkali client. “I love being able to browse the product lines while waiting, and the high ceilings and more open space feel safer during the pandemic.” The visible isn’t the only thing Amber and her team are hard at work on – the less visible is pretty special, too.

Skincare is an exciting addition to Alkali’s suite of services – from their new HydraFacial offering to the medical director that allows them to offer Environ. Environ is a skincare line that is dedicated to helping people achieve healthy and beautiful skin with powerful, medical-grade ingredients you can’t find in the store. “With these treatments, you’re not

getting into high enough strength to damage the skin or create sun sensitivity – it’s about a healthy way to take care of your skin,” said Amber. She specifically wanted to carry Environ after researching products and lines – a consistent theme of thoughtful, high-quality that is present in all of Alkali’s offerings. Consultations are required for Environ because it is prescription strength and not available online or in stores.

Even less visible, but highly impactful – Amber’s dedication to leaving the world better than she found it. “The beauty industry creates 877 pounds of waste per minute,” said Amber. “We didn’t have the room before, but now we are part of a program called Green Circle Salons, and we recycle 90% of our waste. Single-use items like wax strips, mascara wands, unused color, color tubes, metal – even hair gets recycled.”

This drive and desire to make a change is present throughout choices in every corner of Alkali. “It takes action to make a difference – you have to consciously work on it with specific action items,” said Amber.

She’s building this change into their pricing structure as well. Generally, haircuts have been priced on a gender-focused model, with a “men’s” and “women’s” cut, with the women’s cut higher priced. Now, pricing is based on time at Alkali, not gender. If you’re getting a short cut and have a short cut, you’ll pay that 30-minute price, regardless of gender.

“It holds us to a better standard and is honestly more ethical.”

What’s next for Amber and Alkali? It’s going to be leveling up and higher standards, no doubt. “When I see things that need to be fixed, I think about how I can fix it here,” said Amber. “I can fix it here, so I will. And I’m so happy to have the support.”

Visit Alkali at studioalkali.com, on Instagram @alkalihairstudio, and on the App Store: ALKALI. They are located at 407 W. End Blvd.

Phone: (336) 724-1453; Text: 1 (833) 682-2614.

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NEW NAME, NEW LOOK, BETTER THAN EVER | HELPING YOU AGE IN YOUR OWN HOME

BY A. CRENSHAW

After five years of operation, Navigation by Salemtowne has a new name—Navigation at Home—and a new look for 2021.

In addition, Navigation at Home is adding new program benefits and doubling its service area.

For those not familiar with Navigation, it is a personalized, membership-based program that offers the necessary long-term care support for people to age in place in their own home.

Navigation at Home offers peace of mind so members can live the way they want. Members, seniors aged 62+, are assigned a Care Navigator who becomes their personal advocate and trusted ally, helping to create a customized plan for long-term care and wellness that works with their unique interests and goals.

Members no longer have to worry about forms, endless phone queues, and confusing processes if care is needed. All it takes is

one call to their Care Navigator, and they handle the rest.

“After spending years making friends and creating a comfortable home, it is not surprising that many of today’s seniors want to stay in their own home, in their familiar neighborhood, as they age,” Salemtowne President and CEO Mark Steele said. “This goal is achievable, but it takes more than familiar surroundings; it takes a Continuing Care at Home program like Navigation at Home.”

“Our new name—Navigation at Home—emphasizes the goal we’ve had since the inception of the program, which is to empower older adults to live on their own terms in their own home,” Steele continued.

To better meet individual needs, the Navigation at Home program has been enhanced to offer more customized plans that provide

greater flexibility for seniors who want long-term care solutions to live at home. Regardless of which plan type Navigation at Home members choose, all plans provide asset protection, care coordination, and access to high-quality care. The program also offers flexible pricing options and discounts for those who already have a long-term care insurance policy.

“Those exploring their long-term care options can rest assured that with Navigation at Home they can expect a reputable Continuing Care at Home program that provides them with customized plans, resources, and security to successfully live at home for as long as possible,” Steele said.

Navigation at Home has doubled its service area and is now available in 20 counties in North Carolina. Navigation at Home has been serving, and will continue to serve, Davidson, Davie,

Forsyth, Guilford, Iredell, Rockingham, Stokes, Surry, Wilkes, and Yadkin. In addition, Navigation at Home now also serves Alexander, Alleghany, Ashe, Cabarrus, Catawba, Gaston, Lincoln, Mecklenburg, Randolph, and Rowan counties.

Navigation at Home remains a division of Salemtowne Retirement Community and is licensed by the North Carolina Department of Insurance as a Continuing Care at Home program.

Salemtowne, located near the original home of North Carolina’s Moravian settlers, is a nonprofit, continuing care retirement community founded in 1972 and renowned for providing the highest standards and options for seniors. It is a community that embraces a deep Moravian heritage where residents enjoy life to its fullest and where every life shines. Salemtowne is situated on 120-acres and provides care for approximately 450 residents.

Who’s Your Doggie?

BY TABATHA RENEGAR

Doppelgänger: (noun) A biologically unrelated look-alike, or a double, of a living person.

It is highly likely that you know someone who looks like their pet, or at least thinks they look like their pet. It’s an adorable endearment between the human and their furry friend but of course, the canine or feline doesn’t have a say in the matter! So what about those pets who exude a certain personality that elevates them to an almost human-like existence among us?

New word and definition!

Doppeldoggiegänger: (noun) A biologically and genetically unrelated look-alike, double, or personality-twin of a living dog!

Some of these Dopeldoggiegängers are right here in our community! Keep your eyes peeled for them and thanks to their humans for submitting their photos!

• Priscila as laid back and chilled Magda from Something About Mary • Maverick as Seinfeld’s spastic but lovable friend Kramer • Buddy as the literary superstar, Eeyore • Stella as the glamorous but feisty Megan Markle, The Duchess of Sussex

• Bear as James Bond, but only the Roger Moore 007 • Holly as sweet, fun-loving and quirky Drew Barrymore • Remy the wee doxie as Chef Remy, the wee Disney star • Pippa as the oddly adorable Baby Grinch • Tonya’s entire crew as Madea & Friends

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BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

This column is dedicated to uplifting incredible women that might not be featured in the local news about their accomplishments.

These are abridged versions of these incredible women; please find them and ask them more!

HATASHA CARTER

RITU HAGEN

What makes you YOU?

What makes you YOU?

I’ve always been one to go right when others want to go left. Although some fear may be there, I use my fear as motivation, turning it into the ability to keep pushing forward.

Sistas4Change has really allowed me the opportunity to do something that I’ve always wanted to do with the people I love.

What are you most proud of?

My team, Donna Carter, Ayo Powell and Nathaniel Spruill as well as myself. Beyond that, our community for providing so much more support than I could have imagined!

What keeps you going?

Knowing that there are people out there who rely on Sistas4Change, whether to pro-vide them with a meal or assistance elsewhere.

What keeps you up at night?

My countless ideas on how I want to help make our community a better place for everyone.

Hatasha is the Founder and CEO of Sistas4Change-WS, started in June 2020 as a grassroots/mutual aid organization started by women who were ready to make a change, existing to rebuild communities within communities. Initiatives include Sista’s Closet, clothing assistance for adults to include work/ interview clothing and a wide va-riety of children’s clothing for both boys and girls ranging in all sizes and ages and Community Eatz, free food available to local residents of Winston-Salem. CE serves meals twice a week at two different locations.

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I have always been a problem solver - creating order out of chaos is what brings me peace, closure and satisfaction. I live on sarcasm if you can’t roll with the attitude, you are not one of my people! I am laid back and easy going… until I am not! I love build-ing relationships, but I stand strong for my convictions.

What are you most proud of?

In 2016, I found myself with a new ‘job.’ When we moved to WinstonSalem, I left my full-time career to become CEO of our household.

During that time, I started running for fun. What started out as something to keep me occupied with the goal of training for a 5K turned into numerous 5K races, followed by my first triathlon, then my first 10K, building to 2 half marathons in 2019. Crossing that finish line of my first half marathon was one of my proudest moments.

What keeps you going when things are tough?

I think everyone has a voice in our head that guides us when times are tough. My voice belongs to my 78 year old father who has seen the good, the bad, and the ugly. His words ‘there are no shortcuts in life’ have gotten me through more than a few tough situations.

What keeps you up at night?

The everyday grind of family life. I am always motivated to work towards solving world peace, fighting for equality, volunteering at the food pantry. But what’s for dinner? Did I make the bed today? Oops, I forgot to floss. Did I spend enough time with the kids? Did I spend any time with my spouse? What about exercise? And yoga? And meditation? All these small things can keep me up at night.

Ritu Hagan founded Masks for Love, LLC after being a key contributor with Project Mask WS, a grassroots effort that provided over 100,000 handsewn face masks for front line responders, free of charge. As this process wound down, Ritu saw a need for more masks to be provided to the community, and also the effects of the economic slowdown on her neighbors across the city.

Masks of Love, LLC was created to ad-dress both of these issues in a way that provides safety, encouragement, and dignity to all.

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March 2021 | 41

Shop Your Closet:

Four Strategies for Managing Your Wardrobe

BY JEAN MARIE JOHNSON

It’s little wonder we find it a challenge to shop our “closet” when managing what’s in there can feel like one big, overwhelming chore.

I get your resistance and suggest we start from a different place. Ask yourself if you want to: • Love what you wear and how you look every day?

• Create a simplified, workable wardrobe?

• Spend wisely and minimize mistake purchases?

If you said Yes! to even two of these questions, read on.

KEY STRATEGIES Get Seasonal It is so much easier to get dressed every day when what’s within arm’s reach is suitable to the temperature. Instead of wading through your clothes to reach what’s wearable now, think in terms of “seasonal reorganizing.” You can do this by hanging and folding “springsummer” items where you can get to them quickly. Temporarily retire heavier weight items to the back of the closet, the bottom of your dresser drawers, or even in a cedar chest or under-the-bed storage.

There are so many storage options available now that you are sure to find what works for your space. The beauty of this simple strategy is that it helps to minimize “visual clutter” while allowing you to see, “shop,” and access clothes that are relevant for right now.

Consider the Capsule The “capsule wardrobe” concept focuses on having several key pieces that can be pulled together in a variety of ways. I am a huge fan of this strategy and have applied it in a few different ways. For example, my core wardrobe (for day, evening, work, casual) is color-focused, revolving around black, white, cream, and gray. I have a large, long, standing rack in my bedroom where “key” pieces in these colors hang. From “torn” black jeans to black satin harem pants, this curated rack is my go-to for any day that I am not wearing leggings! It’s a breeze to pull a bottom and then reach for a solid or

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patterned top, knowing that they will always go together. The flats and sandals lined up below the rack will be switched out for boots and booties when I “get seasonal” in the fall. A few of the heavier tops will replace the light and airy kimonos and sleeveless pieces.

Keep, Let Go, Replace The added bonus of adopting a seasonal approach is that it’s so much easier to make decisions about what stays, goes, and needs replacing. Most of us – including me – struggle with these decisions.

We feel bad or guilty about not keeping things because: they are still in good shape, they fit well, and of course, “I spent money on that!” Remember that the goal is to simplify and to feel good about how you look everyday. When you are doing a seasonal wardrobe transition and feel ambivalent about an item, ask yourself: • Does this work for how I really live?

• Does this fill a specific need in my wardrobe?

• Do I like how this fits me?

• Is this in good to great condition?

• Is this item low maintenance?

• Will I really miss this if it goes?

Only you can decide how many “No’s” you need to wrack up for an item to qualify for letting go or replacing. It may be just one!

Keep a Targeted Wish List By now, you can see how this process works to help you meet your wardrobe goals and to shop your closet with ease. Once you’ve classified each item, grab a notebook or your phone and make a list of items to replace. Be as specific as you can so that when you browse online or in real time, you aren’t easily distracted. Stay focused on filling that gap. I recently ordered a consigned Marc Jacobs handbag from a reputable online company. It had to be shades of cream to complement my summer look. Just before I clicked “BUY,” my eye landed on a gorgeous bag in an unusual shade of dusty lavender. My heart swooned but my targeted strategy paid off!

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Mother of Sons – Life in a House with Boys

BY KAREN COOPER

When you were young, how did you imagine your grown-up family life would be? Did you want to be a mother? If so, did you dream of princess parties, big hair bows, and baby dolls, or did your mind lean more toward ride-on tractors, fireman costumes, and backyard baseball games? Do you have a soft spot for glitter and tutu skirts, or are you more a fan of Nerf guns and football helmets? Don’t get me wrong; I know that not all girls and boys fit these stereotypes and I respect and admire that! We should celebrate everyone’s uniqueness.

THE BEST-LAID PLANS… In my early years, dreaming about a handsome husband and smiling, wellbehaved children, I always imagined myself with girls. I was an only daughter of doting parents and did not have close friends who were boys. In fact, I spent a lot of time by myself. I didn’t know or understand boys…so I dreamed about having little girls. What would their names be? How would I fix their hair?

Visions of smocked, monogrammed dresses danced in my head. Fast forward a decade or so and I found myself completely in love with my two remarkably fast-running, LOUD yelling, tantrum throwing, house wrecking, snuggly, Mama loving little boys. It was absolute bliss (some of the time). Boy oh, boy…who knew?

And just as the boys learned lessons every day, I learned along with them, often even from them! Learned about life, learned about myself. Motherhood is an amazing humbler, an amazing teacher.

We don’t always know what’s best for us.

As I’ve gained more life experience, I’ve learned that I am a much better mother to boys than I would have been to girls.

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ENJOY EVERY MOMENT, OR AT LEAST EVERY OTHER MOMENT!

TESTOSTERONE OVERLOAD… AND HOW TO COPE!

Still, how much arm wrestling and couch fighting can one person take? The answer is possibly the equivalent of a few years of your life if you don’t intervene, although I’ve never done the math. As all of us with children know, there is this ache somewhere inside of us that we’re not paying enough attention, we’re not enjoying it all enough…because someday it will be over.

One day the roughhousing, the broken lamps, and the fear of someone going to urgent care will be gone…don’t think we haven’t already worn out our welcome there! The truth is, as the boys have grown up together, they have become best friends. Play fighting is really just their love language and knowing that makes watching them grow up and away a little easier to bear.

Living in a house with a wonderful but somewhat alpha husband, two teenage sons, and even a male dog (a beautiful Australian shepherd named Sawyer) … sometimes it can feel like there is so much testosterone in the house that I need to burn a bundle of pink unicorns and glitter and cleanse the house just to find some sort of balance. Whenever it gets to be too much, I have a girl’s lunch, binge watch chick flicks, go shoe shopping, buy more pretty throw pillows or hang pink garland and pink ornaments on my Christmas tree.

I remind myself how to be girly.

Boys are wonderfully strange. When they become teenagers that multiplies by 1,000. But for all the dirty socks, the wet towels on the floor, the bizarre smells, the flexing their muscles and six-pack abs again and again, the sticky messes in the kitchen…. for all these things there are also the deep voices saying, “I love you” and there are the long hugs with their impossibly strong arms where they don’t let go first. The day comes where you look up at them where once they looked up at you.

You grow accustomed to the strangeness of boys.

“Mother of sons,” that’s what a friend called me once, and it struck a chord down deep inside me. It was always my destiny to be surrounded by boys (now almost men). I never would have guessed it, but it suits me just right. Daughters are wonderful and amazing! I am one. I know many and love spending time with daughters of friends, admiring the things that daughters love…but when all is said and done, I know whatever force of nature made me a “mother of sons” knew exactly what they were doing!

Budget Blinds

A Guide to Solo Hiking

BY AMY HILL

Thinking about braving the wild and taking your first solo hiking trip? Few things are more replenishing than spending some alone time in nature.

Below are some tips to ensure that you have a smooth and safe solo hike.

ARRIVE EARLY FOR PEACE OF MIND Depending on the time of year, trailheads for popular hiking destinations often fill up before noon. If you’re looking for solitude and more time to take in the views, aim to arrive at the trailhead around sunrise. When my father and I traveled to Zion National Park in December 2020, the trailhead for the popular Angel’s Landing hike was already full by 7:30 in the morning. We were fortunate enough to snag the last spot, but it was too close for comfort. Popular trails can also be unpleasantly crowded by midday, especially when the weather is just right. Too many hikers on a narrow mountain trail leads to more interruptions and can sometimes be dangerous if steep drop-offs are involved. When it comes to hiking, the early bird truly gets the worm (or the best view).

KNOW YOUR TERRAIN Before your hike, be sure to read blogs or watch YouTube videos of other hikers’ experiences on the trail to familiarize yourself with the terrain and know what to expect. Trails in the mountains of North Carolina will vastly differ from desert trails. As a solo hiker, it is especially imperative to study up beforehand and use a GPS app such as AllTrails to keep you on the right path. On my first trip to Utah in September 2020, I decided to go for a solo hike in the Needles District of Canyonlands National Park, which is far more isolated and less frequently visited by tourists. Because I was not used to following rock cairns for guidance, as opposed to a clearly marked mountain trail, I took many wrong turns and became a little nervous once I realized I was no longer headed in the right direction and hadn’t seen another hiker for four hours. Fortunately, I turned around and eventually found a friendly hiker couple to follow back to the trailhead. That evening, I downloaded the AllTrails app to use for the remainder of the trip, which allowed me to use a GPS map of the trail to make sure I didn’t get lost in the desert.

STAYING SAFE One downside to hiking alone is the risk of running into danger or getting injured. Be sure to let a friend or family member know which trails you plan on hiking ahead of time in the small possibility of an emergency.

While it’s unlikely that you will have cell phone service everywhere on the trail, consider carrying a power bank or charging case with your phone for extra juice in case you forget to charge your phone the night before.

On desert hikes, be sure to slather on the sunscreen and carry twice the amount of water you think you’ll need (or more). If a trail has little to no shade, your skin will be feeling the heat by 1:00 p.m. in July. An earlier start is better in hot and sunny locations to minimize heat and sun exposure. To prevent mid-hike blister pain, consider doubling up on socks or bandaging blister prone areas before the hike. Developing painful blisters or a blistering sunburn on the first day of a week-long hiking trip can make the rest of the week’s hikes significantly tougher.

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While black bears are typically less aggressive, grizzly bears may be more of a concern when hiking in grizzly country. Although attacks are rare, purchasing a can of bear spray (a canister of capsaicin spray used to deter an aggressive or charging bear, reported to be over 90% effective) just in case could potentially save your life. If you’re concerned about safety while hiking alone, consider starting out in busier areas in the middle of the day when more hikers are likely to be out and about. Just because you’re hiking solo doesn’t mean you have to be truly alone on the trail.

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From left to right: Emily Anne Jones, Jennifer Ertl, MaryKay Rath, Debbie Koontz, Alysia Grimes

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March 2021 | 49

BEING THE BRIGHT SPOT

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN, PHOTOS BY JODIE BRIM PHOTOGRAPHY

“Personal care is what makes you feel good and normal in a time when it’s everything but.”

- Jennifer Ertl There’s a whole mood in that statement from Jennifer Ertl, Founding Member and Managing Director with Beautycounter.

Remember walking into 2020? “This is going to be MY year.” Many of us exuded the optimism that usually comes from a new start – 2020 was no exception! I remember my bright-eyed hope at the beginning, watching on social media how many people “claimed” 2020 as their year – only to slink into 2021 not touching or claiming anything.

That being said, there have been bright spots! That initial statement by Jennifer was the tip of her personal iceberg. “When the pandemic shut everything down, I sort of braced for impact. But ultimately, people spent money on their personal space (home renovation, anyone?) and on self-care.”

SAFER BEAUTY It makes sense, right? We’re spending more time with ourselves and in our homes, so naturally, we’re going to take the time to care for ourselves. The pandemic put into perspective just how important our personal health and safety are, something that has been at the core of Beautycounter from Day 1 of the brand launching in 2013. If you aren’t familiar, Beautycounter, at its most basic and foundational level, is an American direct to consumer company that sells significantly safer and high performing skincare and cosmetic products. The basic description is hardly indicative of all that the brand is, not just as a product, but also to the hardworking individual businesses run by women just like Jennifer.

“The mission of Beautycounter is to get safer products into the hands of everyone,” said Jennifer. “Notice I didn’t say ‘Beautycounter products’ but safer products for all consumers.

That’s what originally attracted me when I met the CEO. The brand, mission, education, and changing the marketplace really attracted me. I had a law background as an attorney, and I was with another company, not looking for a change. But I felt this was something special, bringing meaningful change, impacting health all across the marketplace.”

That was 2013, and Jennifer has been with Beautycounter since then – and they have since become the leader in the clean beauty movement. As one of the founding members who helped grow the company in the southeast, Jennifer’s mom, aunt, and grandmother are all breast cancer survivors. “This is all really close to home for me. The ingredients in our everyday products impact our health. Period. It’s not just about selling lipstick,” Jennifer said. “It goes beyond selling a product or a business. Heck, yeah, I’m selling these products, I love them and I’m betting you will, too. But it’s about moving the almost completely unregulated beauty industry to stop formulating with hundreds of ingredients linked to hormone disruption and health harm.”

SUSTAINABLE BUSINESS

COMMUNITY

Beautycounter is also a platform for building a business.

“We’re all independent consultants, set up on our own eCommerce platform,” said Jennifer. “That made for less of a pivot in 2020. We leaned on technology to share and continue the structure. When so many other industries and companies struggled, we grew beyond our forecast in 2020.”

“My business is my phone and my home office and sending product samples to customers and new contacts who want to try Beautycounter for themselves. Thank goodness for the USPS that allows me to send samples from my front door to yours. The offer of free samples is always open, so reach out and take me up on it!”

“The community that we have enjoyed as a team has been a lifeline in a time when we have been physically distanced from our friends and loved ones. These ladies in the magazine with me, as well as many others across the US and Canada, are changemakers, entrepreneurs and friends. During a pretty difficult time in our world, we have managed to have a lot of fun and stay connected through our friendship and our shared purpose with Beautycounter.”

– Jennifer Ertl

In November, Jennifer’s team broke a record for the company with almost 23.5 million in sales in the month of November alone – and Jennifer has over 20 thousand consultants on her team. “Everyone on my team is truly an individual. We are always talking about healthier choices in our lives, from household products to nutrition to beauty, but everyone is different,” said Jennifer. “They are marketing executives, designers, physician assistants – from being health focused to being a business leader to all about the pretty and glam, my team is amazing. There are 80 of the top leaders on my team, and I’m truly running my own multimillion-dollar business.”

Most consultants work Beautycounter alongside other full time jobs and responsibilities. During this pandemic and a time when women have been leaving the workforce in disturbingly high numbers, Beautycounter consultants have been able to continue working flexibly from home while juggling the many demands and distractions of having children at home.

An amazing female entrepreneur story is a glowing bright spot, for certain. Jennifer and the Beautycounter team are charging forward with intensity, change, and success.

Remember that collective mission of getting safe products into the hands of everyone? That isn’t just a megaphone moment – it’s advocacy. “Consumers vote with their dollars. This industry has not passed a major federal law governing the cosmetics industry since 1938,” said Jennifer. “Companies in the beauty industry can do almost anything they want to, and it’s up to the consumer to shift companies with our choices.” It’s more than consumer choice: the company itself is a present and consistent advocate.

“March 4th is the anniversary of the company founding and, in the past, Beautycounter has ‘marched forth’ towards #BetterBeauty. Since part of what we’re doing is education, we want to mobilize clients and consultants to speak up for change,” said Jennifer. Consultants have held hundreds of meetings with Members of Congress at the local level and in D.C. advocating for change – and according to the Beautycounter website, more than 2000 meetings, 16000 calls, and 175000 emails have reached lawmakers.

“I would love for people to join the community.

We want more people to have this education and be a megaphone for change,” said Jennifer. “We’re looking to move the marketplace.” Right now, you can help the movement for safer products by texting BETTERBEAUTY to 52886 to send a pre-drafted message to your legislator and make your voice heard.

This feeling of community and leaving the world a bit better sums up Jennifer’s whole persona.

“Good comes back to you every day,” said Jennifer.

“I love coaching and working with people to help them achieve success. Beautycounter is one of those rare companies where you can be part of doing real, meaningful good in our world, while earning an income. I’m always looking for women who want to join my team and be part of what we have: clean products, a powerful income opportunity and a supportive, connected community.”

To learn more about Jennifer, request Beautycounter samples or information, check her out on Instagram at @NCJennifer or visit her Beautycounter page at beautycounter.com/jenniferertl

With her legal background, of course Jennifer shares the disclaimer that income and success in Beautycounter, as in all business, is not guaranteed and it is based on the individual efforts and abilities of each independent consultant.

Commemorating

All Women During “Women’s History Month”

BY ELISA WALLACE COPPEDE

From breaking the proverbial “glass ceiling” of the White House to advocating for women’s right to vote, there are many great women we all must thank for trailblazing the beaten path for gender equality for us all.

The month-long celebration began as a national celebration in 1981 when Congress passed Pub. L. 97-28, which authorized and requested the President to proclaim the week beginning March 7, 1982, as “Women’s History Week.” Over the course of the next five years, Congress continued to pass joint resolutions designating a week in March as “Women’s History Week.” Finally, in 1987 after being petitioned by the National Women’s History Project, Congress passed Pub. L. 100-9, which designated the month of March 1987 as “Women’s History Month.”

Over the years, presidents have issued a series of annual proclamations designating the month of March as “Women’s History Month.” These proclamations celebrate the contributions women have made to the United States, as well as recognize the specific achievements women have made over the course of American history in a variety of fields. Let’s look at five specific women who broke barriers for us all:

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Rosa Parks: A simple act really, not wanting to change her bus seat for another person, Parks’ courageous act in 1955 sparked a turning point in the Civil Rights Movement. In the 1950s, the rule in Montgomery, Alabama, was that if a bus became full, the seats at the front would be given to the white passengers.

A leader in the local NAACP and the civil rights movement, Parks refused to give up her seat.

Her willingness to disobey the rule would lead to the Montgomery boycott and other efforts to end segregation in America.

Amelia Earhart: An American aviation pioneer and author, Earhart was the first female aviator to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean. The pilot set many other records, as well as wrote bestselling books about her flying experiences.

Tragically, Earhart and her navigator Fred Noonan went missing during the last leg of her flight around the world. Battling overcast skies, faulty radio transmissions, and a rapidly diminishing fuel supply in her twin-engine Lockheed Electra plane, she and Noonan lost contact with the U.S. Coast Guard cutter Itasca, a radar equipped ship supporting her flight, somewhere over the Pacific. Despite a search-and-rescue mission of unprecedented scale, including ships and planes from the U.S. Navy and Coast Guard scouring some 250,000 square miles of ocean, they were never found.

Rita Moreno: It was not common to see female Latinas on the “silver screen” during the 1950s.

With this said, it was a big step when in 1961, the film adaptation of The West Side Story featured Rita Moreno. This movie rocketed Moreno into superstardom, and she went on to work in Hollywood and on Broadway in numerous roles. Today, she is still the only Latino to earn the coveted EGOT (she’s won an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar and a Tony).

Junko Tabei: Always nurturing a love for the mountains, Junko Tabei was a mountaineer who shattered gender norms in 1975, when she became the first woman to successfully climb Mount Everest. Tabei strengthened her legacy by later becoming the first woman ever to reach the Seven Peaks (the highest points of the earth’s seven continents) in 1992. An author and a hiker, Tabei would write seven books, organize environmental projects to clean up rubbish left behind by climbers on Everest, and lead annual climbs up Mount Fuji for youth affected by the Great East Japan Earthquake.

Ellen DeGeneres: The popular talk show host shocked the world when she openly came out as a lesbian on her sitcom, “Ellen,” in 1997. This iconic “Coming Out” episode played a large part in beginning to erase the stigma surrounding the LGBT community.

DeGeneres has gone on to help the community in other ways, including humanitarianism and animal rights.

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having added accountability to show up and go after things plays a big part in their separate but equal success. “We are both in the same season of life trying to accomplish what we both want,” Beth shared.

Beth is an abstract painter that has called Winston home all her life. She was a studio art major at Salem College. One of her greatest joys in this season is entering the studio every day, exploring and pushing herself to constantly grow with her work.

BY TARYN JEREZ

Bussie Kehoe A monthly column that keeps its finger on the pulse of Forsyth’s artists and their inspiring stories!

“Maximalism/Minimalism” will be on exhibit from April 2nd through May 29th at Red Dog Gallery in downtown Winston-Salem, featuring over twenty-five combined art pieces by two separate artists, Beth Murray and Bussie Parker Kehoe. The truth is, while these two women have created two very separate worlds of artistic expression, one of their most unique masterpieces is the collaboration on which they’ve built the last three years.

Beth Murray

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When both women’s journeys became intertwined, they found that collaboration over competition was truly a root source to growth. Bussie believes the information they both have is so helpful from sharing upcoming shows, art directories, learning new skills like how to frame together, sharing in trial and error – they push each other. “There’s little to no competition between us. Our work is so different. There’s no way to really compete with each other,” Beth remarked.

Bussie acknowledges that it may not be the norm for solo artists to work so closely together without a touch of competition, but “If she gets an opportunity, I feel like I won,” she said.

For artists and creatives who want to have a similar collaborative force in their life and work, Beth and Bussie agree the best advice is to find like people!

Bussie believes that “Everyone has their own experience and story to tell, and you can learn so much. Find people who are outside of your own demographic or medium or skill level and embrace being uncomfortable doing it – look what happened from my story of being new in town, shy and going for it!”

Beth Murray

The studio they share has become a place of familiarity and comfort, knowing there’s always a home for creativity, constructive feedback, collaborative growth, and a very real friendship. “There’s a door between our studio space and it’s maybe been closed three times in three years,” Beth shared.

Bussie studied printmaking and drawing at the University of Virginia, then put her art practice on pause while she practiced law, started a family, and taught art to preschool-aged children in Washington, DC.

As many an artist has encountered, when you are sharing and selling your work, there is a lot of getting outside of your comfort zone, but that’s where growth really happens. “Putting yourself out there as an artist is incredibly difficult and uncomfortable because it’s our soul out there on our canvases, but it’s worth it,” Beth encourages. “So, say hello, invite someone to be your studio mate within 10 minutes of knowing them – what do you have to lose? In our experience, it’s worth it.

The friendship is there over the art every day.”

Bussie Kehoe and Beth Murray Collaborative Piece When you ask how they first came to know one another, Beth and Bussie often refer to it humorously as their “meet-cute.” The scene is set on a December evening in 2017 inside Melissa Ward’s Studio on Burke Street.

Beth is hosting her latest art show. Bussie is new to town and eager to meet the artist behind the work. Often shy, Bussie waited until the very end of the event to say hello, and within 10 minutes, Beth asked if she was looking for a studio space and if she’d be interested in going in together. No more than 24 hours later, they drove together to check out the studio and on the spot said yes. What may sound a little crazy, was in fact, the catalyst they both needed, even if they didn’t know it at the time.

While many artists prefer to work alone, Beth and Bussie have found that their collaboration in shared studio space and passion have been what’s kept them moving forward at a momentum that never would have happened alone. From sharing similar schedules and

If you are interested in learning more about the artists and seeing their work up close, Beth and Bussie’s collaborative art exhibit, “Maximalism/Minimalism,” will run 4/2-5/29 at Red Dog Gallery 630 N Liberty Street 27101 with a special “Meet and Greet” on April 17th and May 15th from 2-4 pm.

Bussie Kehoe

C E L E B R AT I N G Y O U R TA L E N T S + P E R S O N A L B R A N D

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www.jodiebrim.com | 336.997.9487 @jodiebrimphotography 405 N. Cherry Street, Suite 200 | Winston-Salem

Last month we talked about toys that had been lost for centuries on the bottom of the Thames River, and how their discovery united me and the generations who lost them. I alluded to another lost toy that was going to grace my life. But before we find her, we have to tell you how we got to her. And for that, we needed the help, from a magical tree named Harvey...

I was walking with my two-year-old, one frosty November evening.

If you’ve ever walked with a toddler, you know that this excursion had already taken an hour longer than I intended. That was fine.

I enjoyed every moment, but I was now ready to get home.

Of course he saw something shiny down a steep hill. It was cold. It was wet. It was dark. I didn’t want to have to carry him up a muddy incline. And I certainly didn’t want extra laundry to do when we got home. What followed was parenting brilliance.

“You don’t want to go down there. There are BEARS down there.”

I was a dad who wanted to avoid extra laundry. Don’t judge me.

The two-foot-tall ball of cute SCOWLED up at me.

“I not afraida bears.”

I had to think fast.

“Ummm... there are spiders down there! Yup. That’s it. Spiders!”

His eyebrows shifted. “What KIND of spiders?”

I thought of the most frightening thing I could. “FLYING spiders!”

He beat me back to the house.

A month later I was walking on a trail nearby. What can I say, I saw something shiny. I had been spending a lot of time in the woods by our creek, on trails that have been around since the Great Philadelphia Wagon Road. It was lovely there, away from human intrusion. I felt time meld when I pictured all that the trees had seen.

On this evening though, something compelled me off of the trail.

Sometimes the universe pulls us in a particular direction. One typically ignores such tugs, but sometimes you get a vibe, and you drive a different way home, or you call someone on feeling. Later you discover that your seemingly irrelevant actions had extreme significance. Well on that evening, my gut was guiding me into a thicket of thorns. Certainly my intuition was broken. It was cold. It was wet. It was dark. I needed to get home. I was already bleeding

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all over my shirt from the briers. Great, more laundry. I joked to myself. “There’s flying spiders down here!” And that’s when I saw him. I stood there in shock. How did this even happen?! It was simultaneously amazing and terrifying. I was face to face... with a flying spider. People needed to see this.

A few friends and I had recently fallen in love with trail running.

So I cleaned up the trails, and invited them over for 5k. In the dark, one frigid night, I introduced 14 people to Harvey the Flying Spider.

They fell in love.

The race then became an excuse to clean up the woods. First the beer cans, then the remains of decades-old dumps and careless builders. We moved on to invasive vines that had strangled half the forest to death. Gradually, life came back. Umbrella trees, ironwood, and a couple endangered elms rebounded. Salamanders and fish returned to the creek. For a few of us, it felt like we were making an actual difference in the world. We always let the trails rest for the summer, so nature wouldn’t be disturbed, and we’d open them again in November with the Flying Spiders.

Year by year the trails got enhanced, the course got harder, and Harvey got joined by other flying spiders. Each of them had a personality. Polooloo required a hug every time you passed by.

Shimmelfinney had ten eyes that lit up in the dark. Lubby was nuts.

Eventually it was no longer limited to trees. Sculptures of creatures with stories were brought to life in the woods, and people were drawn to their stories. Every year the race got a little longer, until we wondered, just how far we could go. We decided to see if anyone could actually finish 26.2 miles of our trails, and The Day Bat Marathon was born.

The answer turned out to be “no”. The first year no one finished. The second year only five of 30 completed the race. And yet, people were calling it the greatest marathon in the world, because Harvey and his friends spoke to them. It pulled them into the briers and put a smile on their face. It was magic.

In year three, everyone would be introduced to a magical peacock.

And the year after that, that peacock would tell them how to find a long lost land of giant hummingbirds. And that is where a princess had been submerged in mud, for two decades... waiting... for us.

We’ll take you there next month.

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March 2021 | 57

Empowering and Engaging Women Through Building

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

The collective power of women coming together.

What does this phrase mean to you?

Is it the title of “girl boss”? Maybe the phrase, “community over competition”?

With Habitat for Humanity, it’s the “Women Build” program.

Started in 1991 by Habitat for Humanity of Charlotte, the Women Build has provided women with an opportunity to take actionable steps in serving their communities, specifically around affordable housing. Habitat for Humanity of Forsyth County adopted this concept in 1999 and will continue to provide the opportunity for local women starting this month, as they announce a revamped Women Build program on March 8th, in honor of International Women’s Day. Women Build’s goal is to empower women to help families build strength, stability, and independence. In the past, this has been a literal build: women working on all aspects, from marketing and fundraising all the way to being on the build site and constructing a home. “Women from

*photos taken prior to COVID.

different industries and communities join this effort and find their place to match their resources or skill set, to build a home for a family,” said Libbie Mayr, the Director of Marketing for Habitat for Humanity of Forsyth County.

The focus on women isn’t surprising: fifteen percent of adult women lived in poverty in 2017 and made up 66% of the low-wage workforce, and a female heads more than three out of four single-parent families. These sobering statistics are probably going to become even direr as the economy recovers from COVID – an economy that has put extra stresses on women – before the pandemic, women still earned, on average, 80 percent of what the average male earned – a statistic that is worse for Black and Hispanic women.

“Women Build is a great way for women to come together to make new bonds, build, and either lend an existing talent or learn new skills,” said Libbie. “It’s always been a really welcoming group, and if you’re not comfortable on the actual build site, we are introducing new ways to participate this year.”

As part of the new, reimagined Women Build here in Forsyth County, there are opportunities to join like-minded women as a part of a new giving society, in a series of empowerment classes, and of course, on the construction site. Even if you are new to a home construction site, this is a great way to safely learn a new skill, as you’ll have support from folks who have built and renovated Habitat homes.

or wealth over their lifetime. We see owning a quality home as a way to improve economic mobility for local families and a way to create generational wealth.”

“With the equity issues that exist, we believe that access to a safe, affordable, and healthy place to live shouldn’t be a privilege; it should be a right,” said Libbie. “Forsyth County is ranked third worst in the nation for economic mobility, with less than 4.8% of families residing in Forsyth County able to change their income

See what is new with this year’s Women Build! Keep an eye out for the official rollout of events or contact Habitat for Humanity of Forsyth County to see how you can become involved: Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter accounts: @habitatforsyth | Online: habitatforsyth.org | Email habitat@habitatforsyth.org

“Women Build is truly harnessing the collective power of women coming together to change the future for families in our community.”

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March 2021 | 59

MY FAVORITE PEN PAL

BY HANNAH CALLAWAY

If I had a nickel for every time I’ve been asked, “How did you find out you were adopted?” I would be a rich woman. There’s a widely held assumption that adopted children discover the buried truth about their familial history in a massive, emotionally-charged moment. My answer is surprising to some, but it shouldn’t be.

My adoption is part of who I am. It always has been. I have always known.

I was born when most adoptions were closed and details sealed from both parties. I’m grateful for the commitment my parents and birth mother made to keep communication channels open, agreeing that it was in my best interest. At home, we talked about my adoption, birth mother, and the foster parents who cared for me immediately after I was born. We faithfully attended the annual Family Services picnic for adoptive families. My parents celebrated my adoption anniversary each year, telling me stories of the 12 years they waited for a baby. My mom and birth mother exchanged letters and, when I learned to write, I began penning my own.

Cheryl. I remember the day I saw her name for the first time. She was my favorite pen pal, and I brimmed with excitement each time Rebecca Nagaishi called from Family Services to tell us there was a new letter to pick up. We never shared identifying details, like last names, but knowing her first name was enough. Any time I saw the name Cheryl written somewhere—on a business card, at the dry cleaners, in a magazine—I’d secretly wonder if it was my Cheryl. Once, I saw “Cheryl” on a staff directory, and it was my Cheryl.

I just didn’t know it at the time.

Hannah Callaway poses at Family Services in 2006 with her parents on her right, and birth mom, Cheryl, on her left.

I was sixteen and interning at US Airways.

On the first day, my supervisor introduced me to a few of the office employees before dropping me into a cubicle. I happily settled into my new digs, noticing a sheet of departmental contacts tacked to the cubicle wall. As had become routine, I quickly scanned the list for a Cheryl.

When I spotted her name, I chuckled to myself.

I saw many Cheryls over the years; none were mine. Had I peered around my cubicle wall to ask my neighbor for directions to the restroom or to borrow a pen, we would have come face-to-face.

The rest of my internship was uneventful, though I did change locations to work in a new department. I never met my cubicle neighbor that first day, but she knew me. She read the office memo about the intern. She heard my voice. She knew this Hannah was her Hannah. Unbeknownst to me, quiet conversations were held. Urgent phone calls placed. Arrangements made.

Meeting Cheryl felt like seeing an old friend for the first time in a long while. Timid at first, our conversation grew more confident and comfortable as the minutes passed. I told her I had been accepted to Appalachian State University and was surprised to learn that she had once been a Mountaineer herself. We shared our mutual love of theater, and I learned more about her family and my half-siblings. I shared stories about my little brother, who was adopted through Family Services six years after me. When the time came to depart, we returned to our homes— only 10 miles apart.

Much has changed over the years. My mom sends me a text message on my adoption anniversary each year, but there are no annual picnics to attend. Facebook messages have replaced handwritten letters to Cheryl. Rebecca, a steadfast source of support for my family, still works at Family Services. The adoption program, however, has closed. Now, those program resources can be re-allocated to support the most critical and immediate needs of our community.

Though my story has taken many turns over the years, the foundation remains the same. I am a child of adoption, and my adoption has been acknowledged and celebrated at every stage of my life. I’m grateful to know Cheryl and to have been raised by incredibly supportive parents. I do not take this for granted, as I know that not all adopted children have the same experience. And I’m grateful to Family Services for navigating the waters of adoption for so many families. Their care and compassion have made all the difference in my life, and in the lives of so many others.

Months later, the story unfolded. Cheryl, my parents, and Rebecca had skillfully navigated an unprecedented, fated situation that day.

We wanted to meet each other, but not as a chance encounter among cubicles. The timing had to be right. A year later, we planned to meet at Family Services.

THISIS IS THIS EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING. I waited nervously in Rebecca’s office while my parents stepped into the conference room. Their relationship with Cheryl had begun before mine did; it was only fitting they’d meet first. Before long, the office door opened. “Are you ready?”

Strengthening Forsyth Strengthening Forsyth families means everything. families means everything.

WHEN YOUYOU GIVE GIVE WHEN

to Family Services, you are helping to Family Services, you are helping your neighbors have the stability, your neighbors have the stability, security and opportunities that allow security and opportunities that allow Forsyth County to flourish, now and Forsyth County to flourish, now and in the future. in the future.

most important you? Health, happiness, prosperity??

What’s mostWhat’s important to you?toHealth, happiness, prosperity There are plenty of good answers, but they all have onething thing in in There are plenty of good answers, but they all have one common — the essential role of family.

Strong, thriving families create common — the essential role of family. Strong, thriving families create To donate or volunteer, visit strong, vibrant communities.

The health of your family is deeply To donate or volunteer, visit Family Services picnic with Sandra Hannah’s on the day her brother’s Hannah with her mom at Family Services strong, vibrant communities.

Theand health of your family isfamily deeply familyservicesforsyth.org or familyservicesforsyth.org or Carl Bovender, Hannah’s foster parents adoption was finalized connected to the health of families next door and across town. call 336.722.8173. connected to the health of families next door and across town. call 336.722.8173.

60 | ForsythWoman.com

Family Services

THISIS IS THIS EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING. Strengthening Forsyth Strengthening Forsyth families means everything. families means everything. most important you? Health, happiness, prosperity??

What’s mostWhat’s important to you?toHealth, happiness, prosperity There are plenty of good answers, but they all have onething thing in in There are plenty of good answers, but they all have one common — the essential role of family.

Strong, thriving families create common — the essential role of family. Strong, thriving families create strong, vibrant communities.

The health of your family is deeply strong, vibrant communities. The health of your family is deeply connected to the of families next door acrosstown. town. connected to the health ofhealth families next door andand across

WHEN YOUYOU GIVE GIVE WHEN

to Family Services, you are helping to Family Services, you are helping your neighbors have the stability, your neighbors have the stability, security and opportunities that allow security and opportunities that allow Forsyth County to flourish, now and Forsyth County to flourish, now and in the future. in the future.

To donate or volunteer, visit To donate or volunteer, visit familyservicesforsyth.org or familyservicesforsyth.org or call 336.722.8173. call 336.722.8173.

If Your Walls Could Talk…

So many times I have said, “I would love to be a fly on the wall,” and would be talking about something that was going on in a room that I could not see or hear…. but would be interested in doing so. Yes, I know a fly couldn’t tell me any info about what was said or done in a room, but what if walls could talk?

What would they say about the room they define? Would they want to tell you about what you could do to make the room more beautiful and comfortable for your family? Here are a few things your walls might tell you if they could talk: • Measure your space before buying furniture. Don’t just purchase because it’s a good price…. make sure it works in your room.

• Find the focal point and arrange the furniture around it.

• Pull the furniture away from the wall and create conversation areas.

• Use the right size area rug to define your space.

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• Choose comfortable furniture.

• Anchor a rug under the bed at the foot; not the head. When buying a rug for your bedroom, add the width of your bed plus 2 feet or more on each side so when you step out of bed, your feet are on the rug.

Put 2/3s of your bed on the rug. An 8’ x 10’ (11’) works well for a queen size and a 9’ x 12’ for a king.

• Mix it up. Adding a few antiques in with new furniture pieces brings warmth to a room.

• Hang window treatments just below the ceiling to give a room the illusion of height.

(Rooms with cathedral ceilings draw an imaginary line at 9’ to 10’.)

• Place at least 3 lamps to form a triangle in a room to distribute the light around the room.

• Hang art at the right level. Measure and find the center height of the art and that should be approximately 60” from the floor.

Lower 3 to 4” if the art will be viewed while you are sitting down.

• Not only should the art be hung at the right level but also the size of the art you hang should be proportioned to the wall or the object it is hung over. If hanging over a console, bed, mantle, etc., let the 2/3s rule help you decide. For example, your mantle is 72” wide…divide into thirds = 24” x 2 = 48” … 48” is the space you need to fill with art. Use this as a guide… it can be a few inches less or a few inches more.

• Show a few legs. Too many legs (sofa, chair and table) used in a room or none used is not as attractive as mixing furniture with legs with furniture that goes to the floor such as consoles or upholstered pieces with skirts.

• Hang mirrors where they reflect something beautiful in the room or an outside view.

• Bring life into the room with green plants.

Need help? If your walls aren’t talking to you, give ReDESIGNS by Ava a call to help you create a beautiful home… one room at a time.

10 Reasons People Choose ReDESIGNS by Ava: 1. They’ve seen the results on TV Home makeover shows or in a friends house.

2. They want a fresh, designer look but haven’t been able to create it.

6. They are blending 2 households of furnishings and want professional help with what to keep and how to make it work.

7. They desire a home that feels good and looks good yet reflects who they are.

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5. They don’t want to make an expensive purchase they’ll regret.

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336.345.2929 ReDESIGNSbyAva@SalemGlenCC.net ReDESIGNSbyAva.com Meet Ava on YouTube: tinyurl.com/ReDesignsByAva March 2021 | 63

There for Me

BY JEAN MARIE JOHNSON

“Be the woman who fixes another woman’s crown without telling the world it was crooked.”

Attributed to a now-defunct site called womenblazingtrails.com., this quote stopped me in my tracks. I won’t mince words: we are all too familiar with the vast expanse between having each others’ back and sticking each other in the back. These well-crafted words of wisdom personify the high road where I want to tread, tarry, and leave my footprints. Not some of the time, but all of the time. It’s all about being there for one another without tooting our own horn or uttering a disingenuous “Bless her heart.” You know what I mean.

All of this got me thinking about the many women who have been there for me, quietly, and without a lot of fuss. To their credit, many women held me up when I was just a young, curious girl, trying to find her way. Lingering on my next door neighbor’s front porch, I loved to while away the idle and all-too-empty hours of summer with Mrs. F, queen of the domestic arts long before the arrival of Martha Stewart.

Mrs. F shared all manner of domestic insights as we watched the neighborhood cars, kids, and dogs in full swing.

There was also the glamorous and mysterious upstairs neighbor, Mrs. S, who favored my love of beauty, fancy, and just plain loveliness.

A “divorcee” twice over, she drove a lemon-yellow Cadillac, wore patent leather spike heels, and bedecked her apartment in (now, wait for it!) French Provincial furniture. Well, of course it wasn’t the real deal, but it certainly made me swoon. Her seemingly glamorous lifestyle was the antithesis of our hardscrabble reality. Mrs. S, I think, found a kindred spirit in me. She taught me to sing Christmas carols in Latin and made me an award-winning Halloween outfit a la Martha Washington.

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These neighborhood women with children and troubles of their own were there for me. They nurtured the parts that hungered for more. If there was judgment behind their kindness, it wasn’t directed at me.

The nurturing became more nuanced over time. As an adolescent, I was plagued with a vexing question, the kind I thought would draw my mother’s suspicion and worry. One day after 7th grade English, I stayed behind to speak with Miss B. She was the personification of cool. A large black woman, she drove a neat red sports car and demanded the Queen’s English from her working-class students. I loved her. When, with my crown askew, I mustered up the nerve to ask my question, she immediately allayed my fears without making me feel silly or stupid.

Miss B wasn’t the only female teacher to put an arm around me in support, to shine a light on capabilities I didn’t know I had, or to introduce me to new experiences: “What? You’ve never had Constant Comment tea? Come to my office. We’ll drink up!”

Thank you, Professor C! It can be hard to forget the women who’ve misused their power by hurting us with their judgment, criticism, gossip, or betrayal. But I think it serves you better to allow those memories to recede in favor of all of the women who have been there for you when your crown was crooked or hanging on by a mere thread. Look to your past to recall them; but mostly, look around in the here and now to remind yourself of what a truly awesome, powerful woman looks like: she’s right there, fixing another woman’s crown.

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March 2021 | 65

Making Dollars, Making $ense Securities offered through LPL Financial, Member FINRA/SIPC, Investment advice offered through Independent Advisor Alliance, a registered investment advisor, Independent Advisor Alliance and Marzano Capital Group are separate entities from LPL Financial.

Your Financial Quarterback

BY BRANDON JAMES, FINANCIAL ADVISOR AT MARZANO CAPITAL GROUP

Having an orchestrated approach when it comes to financial planning is just as important as a presnap huddle for a football team in the red zone.

If everyone on the team is not running the same play, the likelihood of a successful outcome is not very good. There are many moving parts to your family’s overall financial plan. At Marzano Capital Group, it is our objective to become our clients’ “financial quarterback.”

As financial professionals, we have the ability to assist in each of the important areas when it comes to planning. Tax considerations, estate planning, insurance, social security, healthcare, retirement planning and wealth/investment management are all integral pieces of an overall successful plan.

For us to be the quarterback of necessary financial affairs for our clients, we need to know who else is currently in your network of professionals, and we aim to formulate a relationship with the each of them. That way, we are able to work holistically for you and your family.

If there are vacancies in the seats of the trusted team, we have formed a strong network of CPAs/ tax professionals, attorneys, healthcare advisors and other professionals to position our team to connect clients with not only the right people, but the ones we feel are the most proficient in their respective fields.

If each of your team members are operating in a silo by themselves and other members of the team are not made aware of certain changes for a mutual client, it could propose challenges. For example, when taking distributions from investment accounts, an understanding of the client’s tax situation is extremely important. Knowing how much and what type of taxation that will be triggered will help you to plan for it ahead of time. Therefore, we choose to work closely with our clients’ tax professionals.

We have found in most cases, people who have done even minimal planning already have a team formed. The typical issue we see is, no one has taken charge and “quarterbacked” the team. We feel assuming this role for our clients is our duty as the trusted advisor and adds a significant layer of value to the relationship. Not only are we the financial advisors, but we work closely with the other valuable players on your team to ensure every play is executed the most appropriate way for the client.

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March 2021 | 67

Pitch yourself:

how can you introduce yourself in this new digital world?

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

I was reading a networking article last year about a woman who held an event where attendees wore a colored band to indicate their level of comfort in meeting people. If I’m remembering correctly, green meant, “All is well! Hugs and high fives!” while yellow meant, “Approach with caution,” and red indicated, “Please distance.” I was mortified – not only am I not a hugger with people I don’t know during “normal times” – I don’t want to start wearing a colored band at networking events to indicate my comfort level.

GOOGLE FIRST

To be completely honest, my color would always be red.

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT

That being said, I think we’re still a ways away from heavy traffic and in-person networking events, and even then, why lose the possibility to meet people from all over the place? If we’ve learned anything from the pandemic and the virtual communication that comes with it, it can be an exhausting pain – or it can be an opportunity!

When you do view it as an opportunity to meet new people, you need to start thinking about what it’s like to introduce yourself in this digital landscape. A few things to keep in mind:

When is the last time you’ve checked in on a Google Search…of yourself? If you’re not Googling yourself before you think about meeting new people, you should start.

Check out what’s out there on social media – I’m not saying wipe your history! I am saying you should be aware of what people can find out before and after they meet you. If you’re meeting someone in a Zoom meeting, chances are they might look you up before or after – it’s right there! Be sure your social media shows who you are at your best – not a version of yourself you aren’t loud and proud with.

You should practice introducing yourself in a mirror or on a Zoom by yourself. We take up space differently in person versus digitally. Because your face takes up the entire screen, you want to make sure that you’re framed well (aim for space around your head, lit well and comfortable) as well as comfortable – I make sure to have coffee and water nearby if it’s a morning meeting, and water if we’re connecting at night.

Pro tip: when you’re practicing your introduction, hit up a free Zoom account, pop on, get ready, and hit record to see what you sound and look like.

LOOK AT THE CAMERA I can’t express this enough – look at the camera, not at the screen. It’s a massive difference when you’re talking to look into your camera versus talking at your screen. Think about how it is when someone stares at your eyebrows versus looking you in the eyes – this is what I’m talking about!

If you don’t know where your camera is, find it. Again, turn on that free Zoom and locate your computer camera – as soon as you find it remember this tip: no one stares in the eyes of anyone the entire time they are talking. Look at the screen when they are talking, then into the camera as if you’re making eye contact when you’re talking.

SMALL TALK…PLEASE As much as I might want to get rid of awkward small talk – I will admit that it’s critical before any kind of “pitch” – even if it’s a pitch of who you are! Don’t get right down to business even if all you want to do is jump off the Zoom and hide on the couch: think about some topics you can talk about that are not only “safe” (i.e., no politics!) but also easy to talk about. Weather, coffee, dinner plans – all great things you can tap into to ease into the conversation.

Above all – remember that you want to be the best version of yourself.

68 | ForsythWoman.com

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March 2021 | 69

Retirement: Seek Happiness & Fulfillment

BY JEAN MARIE JOHNSON

The good news is that there is no “script” for retirement. At the same time, the mere absence of a daily plan, a reliable roadmap, and a tightly-packed schedule might just freak you out! This is especially true if you’ve worked a 40-plus hour work week for as long as you can remember. Not to mention that your work life came along with its own sources of happiness – friendships, 401k plans, and Happy Hours, to name a few. It came with its own sources of fulfillment, too – you knew that your work mattered to others and was a mirror, a positive reflection of you. That’s why for many, there is an inherent ambivalence about retirement.

We wonder about how we will spend our time and if we will be bored; but more importantly, we are concerned about how we will secure both happiness and fulfillment in retirement.

All of these responses are normal and natural. The key is to avoid getting stuck in a fretful loop of thought.

Instead, “Ms. CEO,” remember that you are in charge of what’s next. Assuming that you have gotten a handle on life’s practical matters, it’s now time to dream, to plan, and to experiment. Consider the following:

CREATE A VISION BOARD Visualization is powerful; it is a tool you may have already used effectively to manage your career. When we visualize, we see ourselves “already there,” which creates clarity while motivating us to move forward.

You can certainly create a vision board on Pinterest, but you might consider going old school with a piece of white cardboard or construction paper. Using this more tactile approach, you’ll first gather your supplies: magazines, photographs – even small symbolic things – along with your scissors, tape, and glue. I am a huge nature-lover, so a bird’s feather from my backyard is something you’d find on my vision board.

Think in terms of how you want to spend your time and the activities you want to pick up again or discover for the first time. Then, either dive right in and start cutting and pasting to create your retirement vision montage, or instead, first name your vision. I’ve seen people call their vision board “My Time,” or “Fun First,” or “Full Circle.” Remember that it is YOUR retirement, so you decide! If you get stuck, google “activities in retirement” or similar phrases for an infusion of new ideas.

While this should be an exhilarating adventure, consider this science-based tip to keep you grounded: the most effective vision boards are those that combine words and pictures of what you want as well as how you will get there. Psychotherapist Amy Morin notes that, “Positive thinking only works when it’s combined with positive action.” So, if you want to cultivate an envy-worthy rose garden when you retire, consider adding a photo of a book you’ll read or a course you’ll take so that your rosy vision has a better chance of becoming a rosy reality. The same applies if you have a fitness goal: be sure to add the specific “how” and you are more likely to achieve your goal.

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ASK YOURSELF THE “RIGHT” QUESTIONS For most of us, retirement reintroduces questions around happiness and fulfillment.

Keep in mind that happiness is about satisfying your needs and wants while fulfillment is purposeful; it is about the contribution you want to make to others, the legacy you want to leave behind. These are deeply-personal questions, and you now have the perspective of age and experience to inform how you respond. Here is a sampling of happiness and fulfillment-invoking questions to consider: • What would my “ideal day” look like?

• What did I love doing most as a child?

• What knowledge, skill, or interest do I want to resume or explore for the first time?

• If money weren’t an issue, what would I be doing?

• If I knew I had 15 summers left, how would I spend them?

• What skill or gift do I have that I want to “give back”?

• How do I want to be remembered by the people I care most about?

Don’t be surprised if responding to these questions prompts you to make a few revisions to your vision board, so be sure to update it!

EMBRACE EXPERIMENTATION Without the built-in structure of the workday and the work week, many retirees find themselves frittering away their time, feeling aimless and frustrated. As a result, they are not reaping the happiness and fulfillment that retirement can offer. To avoid that trap, you can do these two things: • Create a reason to get out of bed in the morning • Establish a routine At first, finding a reason to get out of bed might be easy because you simply relish the freedom that the day ahead promises. But soon thereafter, when the novelty becomes the norm, your feelings are likely to shift. So, go back to your vision board for inspiration. Zero in on one or two things, then identify one or two concrete steps you can take that day to help bring those aspects of your vision to life. There is no rule book for this, so be creative. Maybe it’s: “research local gardening groups to find a class on growing a rose garden” and “find or start a neighborhood book club.”

The second part of embracing experimentation is establishing some form of routine. Decide on your new bookends: the time you get up and the time you go to sleep. Then fill in at least a few of the hours in-between with activities related to what you have already decided to focus on. Remember that those intentions are mere vaporware until you take action to bring them into your life.

Stay tuned for Part Three of this series, “Retirement: Prepare for the Emotional Journey.”

Men Who Cook

How I Became a Plant Lady

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

“You must have the best air ever.”

“Are you a plant?”

“Should we call you Poison Ivy?” Ok, look – I NOW have a lot of plants. I’m not entirely sure how it happened, because I used to be a plant murderer. It all started when I was trying to have plants in my first place here. Before this, I was living with cats that I’m fairly certain ate my plants – and flowers, and herbs, and anything – just to spite me. No joke – Milo, the boy cat, would look at me while taking a bite of my flowers.

I digress.

I was in my first apartment here in Winston-Salem and I bought a plant while my then-boyfriend, now husband, and I were out shopping. I was so excited – a mediumsized plant with big hot pink flowers. The tag said “flamingo plant” and how fun! We put the plant in the back of our car and…went to see a movie.

Yep, I killed one of the first plants I had here.

After creating a small killer greenhouse, we went to repurchase the same plant. YES! I thought, with reckless optimism, I am finally going to have a plant that a cat doesn’t try to kill and digest! I set the plant by our back patio door in a beautiful pot, gave it some water, and went about my day. Every week I would give it a drink – surely the plant needed water weekly!

Until all of the hot pink flowers started to turn yellow… then brown. The leaves got mushy. Maybe it needs more water, I thought, again with optimism. I started watering it every few days…until the plant was very, very dead.

Maybe this just wasn’t a good plant, I thought, still with the optimism of someone who hadn’t just murdered two plants in about three weeks. I’ll just get another plant for our bedroom. So I got something that looked a bit like a small tree, put it in a bright red pot in the corner of our bedroom, and went about taking care of it like a new child. I watered it weekly, and for a while, it was doing well!

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Until one day, I went to water it and I thought I saw something moving in the dirt. That can’t be right, I thought. What is…oh, my goodness, those are worms!

There were dozens and dozens of WORMS in my cute little corner bedroom tree. WORMS! Marching my tree outside and to the dumpster, I flipped the whole thing in, my optimism quickly turning to “maybe I just can’t have plants.” Three murders behind me, I let time go by before thinking about another plant – until I saw a brightly colored fall plant called croton. It said easy-care, so I decided to give it a shot. This plant seemed to handle things a bit better than the others – although every once in a while, a few leaves would fall off and I would prep myself for another death.

After living in that first place for a few years, we decided to move to a new place – one with massive windows. Me, still desperately wanting to be a plant person, put my sad croton – now only with three leaves – by the window. I am going to not kill this plant, I said to myself, without any optimism but clear drive and motivation. I hopped on Google, something I should have done years ago, and looked up, “why do I keep killing plants?”

The first response: too much water and not enough drainage.

Drainage, I thought to myself…I never…. OH, NO! NONE OF MY PLANTS HAD DRAINAGE! I kept reading and apparently, you’re not supposed to love your plants as much as I did…you’re supposed to water them ONLY WHEN THEY ARE DRY! And they need a hole on the bottom of the pot. FOR DRAINAGE! Fast-forward three years, and I still have that little croton, with many, many more leaves. I also have about 5 dozen plants, one taller than me. All because of drainage.

And that’s how I became a plant lady.

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March 2021 | 73

How Do You Stick to a Boundary?

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

Setting boundaries…possibly one of the most uncomfortable parts of interpersonal relationships and conversations. If you’re getting uncomfortable thinking about setting a boundary, imagine the harder part – holding to the boundary when it gets nudged in the other direction. That crossed line? Yikes.

Don’t worry if you’re getting uncomfortable! Lots of people get nervous when it comes to setting and holding boundaries. I still remember setting a boundary with my husband when we first moved in together. I’m an introvert that spends a lot of time teaching and coaching people – a lot of time “on.” Post classes and workshops, I need to be quiet and keep to myself to recharge.

While this isn’t difficult when I lived by myself, it was hard once we lived together. I was so nervous telling him I needed time to myself after a class or workshop – I was worried I was going to hurt his feelings, yes – but also nervous about what I might do if he broke the boundary I set!

I knew I needed the boundary though, because teaching did take all of the energy out of me, and if I didn’t have some kind of time to myself, I would end up in a terrible mood. Sounds like a lose-lose right? Wrong! When you’re setting a boundary, you should also think about how you are going to hold to that boundary. If it’s only on the other person, you’re not taking responsibility for yourself and your wants and needs. Here are a few easy (and not so easy!) ways to hold to a boundary:

REMEMBER YOUR WHY

YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE

When you’re setting a boundary, think about how your life will be better if this boundary stays up. For example, if I keep the boundary of taking time for myself after classes and workshops, I will be a better version of myself, specifically, a less cranky version.

This isn’t just on the other person. If you aren’t holding yourself responsible as well as the other person, then you aren’t serious about the boundary. Think: what is in your control? How can you uphold the boundary on your end? With my example, sure, I’m asking for time on my own after classes – it’s important to not only ask for that time but also think about what I can do.

While I might want to come out of the office postclass, I can stay in the office for a bit by myself for my quiet time.

This why will help you remember that this boundary is for you to have a relationship with this other person – not to be mean, or angry, or anything negative. This is good! And life-improving!

That is my part of upholding the boundary – it shouldn’t live just on one person – it needs to be a team effort.

LOOK FOR THE LINE

WHAT IS THE CONSEQUENCE?

If you don’t know where the line is, how will you know when it’s been crossed? When you’re setting the boundary, be sure that you know what behavior you won’t tolerate.

For my time post classes, I might be ok with a question afterward, but not ok if a closed-door is disrespected.

This is critical – if the line is crossed, if you’ve held up your side of things, if you’ve clearly expressed the boundary (Please do this! No one can read minds!) then you have to think about what you will do when/if the boundary is crossed.

By understanding what is “too much” you’ll be able to know when there will be a consequence.

It might be as simple as having a conversation with the other person – and if it’s continuously crossed, the relationship might be at risk. I knew if my husband disrespected my boundary (spoiler alert, he didn’t!) I would have to talk to him about it and make sure we both understood the importance of it.

Good luck, and remember to be clear!

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March 2021 | 75

Ending the Mental Tug of War:

I Want to Quit Drinking, but I Still Want to Drink

BY JANELLE WILKES, TJ WILKES PHOTOGRAPHY When I decided to end my toxic love affair with wine in February 2020, I never imagined that I would be changing my way of life against the backdrop of a global pandemic. I joined Sober Sis in March, desperate to connect with other women who were silently tackling the same issue. In this space, I met Keela Johnson, and she encouraged me to share my story.

Now, I am seven months alcohol-free, and it shocks me when the old temptation to drink wine slips into my thoughts. I was naïve to think that if I could navigate the 12-month cycle of holidays, birthdays, and BBQs, I would be home free.

I recognize the big moments that I can prepare for: date night, girls’ trip, weddings. But, routine moments from the past will still wake up from their slumber and slap me in the face on occasion. It takes a lot of practice to build new muscle memories.

I wrote in my journal years ago, “If there is a spectrum for alcoholism, I’m on it.” I was wrestling with cognitive dissonance long before I had ever heard the term.

Cognitive dissonance is psychology-speak that means you have competing beliefs about something. These beliefs sit on a see-saw and alternate, which one will outweigh the other.

Simply put, it is a love/hate relationship. (Up) I want it; I love it. (Down) It causes me pain; I hate it.

This is how I felt about wine. I was on a merry-go-round of thoughts, choices, and consequences followed by the desire to change my behavior.

Months ago, if I felt bored, I might mindlessly start to drink. Reach, pour, delete. I was deleting myself.

In my early 20s, I was a perfect storm of introverted, conflict-avoidant, and insecure. I was the proverbial apple ripe for plucking off the anxiety tree. Belonging nowhere and nowhere to belong. Drinking seemed to fit the bill for every occasion in public or not. Turns out I did like it.

It made me less awkward and more fun-loving.

It’s fine until it’s not fine. Begin see-saw.

I love wine, but I hate feeling so tired, bloated, ashamed, and anxious.

I love wine, but I hate the weight I’ve gained.

I love wine, but I hate hurting my people.

Sometimes I was able to moderate, but bottom-line, the wine that I was putting on a pedestal, was causing suffering in me. So, did I start drinking to ease anxiety? Or did drinking cause my anxiety? Like the chicken versus the egg paradox, the lines are blurred. But the answer for me is a resounding Yes! and Yes!

This back and forth pattern was causing internal anguish and anxiety, and it begged the question: Do you really love wine as much as you think you do?

Ever see a squirrel in the street? He is the living embodiment of cognitive dissonance. One moment he is bushy-tailed and twitching along, enjoying his tree home and nutty snacks, when he notices a lush grove of trees on the other side of the road. As his tiny squirrel toes hit the pavement, quite suddenly, to his horror, his beady eyes lock with yours, the driver of a 3,000-lb vehicle barreling toward him at 35 MPH. Now, the squirrel is on the see-saw.

His competing beliefs are that he should: cross the road and stay put in the very same moment. This duality causes him massive anxiety.

My parents didn’t drink when I was growing up and I had a healthy fear of addiction.

I remember being talked into a vodka cranberry at a party when I was a new high school grad. I didn’t even like parties.

You’ll like it. It tastes like candy.

It wasn’t the taste I was concerned about. It was the skip-a-generation alcoholism in my family that I knew instinctively would tap me on the shoulder. I was right. Thus began my 20-year slow dance with alcohol.

He starts and stops; starts and stops. His little squirrel heart, beating out of his furry little chest.

We are on the same cognitive dissonance see-saw as our squirrel friend. We want to drink and not drink in the same moment. These moments are agonizing.

But it wasn’t just myself I was deleting; it was my family. Alcohol does not distinguish happy from sad times. It erases the whole photo album. It’s like Rumpelstiltskin. You have to read the fine print. The mind-numbing, momentary I-can’t-feel-a-thing comes with a price. The price is just your body, your soul, and your family.

Why did I sign that contract?

Kicking my wine habit has been nothing short of transformational. I feel healthy, strong, and full of life. My confidence is growing, and my mind is clear now that I no longer have the internal struggle of wanting to drink and not drink simultaneously. It’s hard, but it’s worth it!

If you are “sober curious,” please visit tinyURL. com/SoberSisFW and start changing your life for the better. It is when you connect with other like-minded women that the magic happens. I found my tribe with the help of Jenn Kautsch at Sober Sis. Next month, my second article will detail the lessons I’ve learned during my first year alcohol-free. I was surprised to find that many of the life-giving benefits of sobriety - like joy and freedom - were the very things I was seeking through wine.

To learn more about me and my journey, please follow my blog at janeville.co.

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March 2021 | 77

Burn Out...

! p l He

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

About a year ago, I felt exhausted with every aspect of my life. I just wanted to stay home (even before the pandemic). The idea of going out in public was annoying, frustrating, and irritating. I had dreams of just leaving everything…wouldn’t it be nice to just move to Thailand, work at a restaurant making Pad Thai, and never have to deal with any of the things that seemed so wild and overwhelming. On top of that, I was sick – sinus infections, ear infections, a weird cough and cold that wouldn’t shake…I was 100% burnt out.

Burn out is no joke, my fellow high achievers. We can say, “Oh, I’ll rest later” or “Oh, it will get better soon” and you know what? That soon and later never comes! We move from our huge drive for work, a push to work harder, neglect of our needs, denial, withdrawal, exhaustion, and then – we do it all again!

I feel like I’m not alone here.

If you’re reading my account of burnout and nodding in agreement, recognizing that you’re in some stage – pre-burnout, burning out, or recovery from burn out – don’t worry! We can do this together and prevent burn out. Here are a few tips to prevent it – remember, if you find yourself in the middle of it, get some rest, drink water, eat a vegetable, and start new next time.

DO SOME RE-CON Quick! What causes your burn out?

If your answer is “everything” or “work” or “stress” – you’ll need to do some reconnaissance work on being more specific. Do some homework around what exactly gets you to the point of burnout. If you can’t figure out what it is, don’t worry! Get as close as you can.

For me, I can recognize when I’m starting to approach burnout, and it’s usually when I’m taking on a huge, highly emotional task without any support built-in.

Once you start to identify the areas that cause you burnout, or even some of the characteristics, take note of how you’re going to identify when this is happening in the future. If you’re like me, you might not have been completely aware of the cause of your burnout – the more you know, the better you can defend yourself next time and prepare for the future.

START SAYING NO The more you say no, the more you can avoid burnout, no matter what kind of burnout you’re dealing with.

Think about it – burnout occurs when you take on too much.

The more you can get comfortable saying no, the less will be on your plate.

Does the idea of saying no make you break out into a cold sweat?

Come up with a few phrases that can give you time before you say no.

Things like, “Let me check my schedule and get back to you,” will be incredibly helpful while you work up to saying no.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF While writing this article, I’m coming off of a huge stint of 14-16 hour days. Were they preventable? Not really. Did I build in off time post-project where all I had to do was write and watch TV with my dogs? Yes! If you know you suffer from burnout or have a tendency to get burnt out, it’s not as simple as “rest” – you have to make it work with the rest of your life! For me, it’s about giving space before and after where I can take better care of myself – because the work stress is inevitable. What that stress looks like is unique to me – and yours is unique to you! Give yourself grace and space to care for yourself.

MOVE I’m not telling you to move to another city or state – you definitely should find time to move around. Whether that is exercise, a walk, or just a new space in your house or office to move to – a change of scenery will help.

Above all, don’t beat yourself up if you get burnt out even if you try to avoid it. Strive to treat yourself better every time!

78 | ForsythWoman.com

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March 2021 | 79

Every Body has a Seat at the Table

BY BROOKE ORR, MS, RD, LDN

The American Psychiatric Association says that more than half of people with mental illness don’t seek help for their disorder due to concern of stigma, prejudice and discrimination – and this is true for eating disorders. The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA,) the largest nonprofit organization dedicated to supporting individuals and families affected by eating disorders, says “Eating disorders have historically been associated with heterosexual, young, white females, but in reality, they affect people from all demographics of all ethnicities at similar rates. One in three people struggling with an eating disorder is male, eating disorders disproportionately impact some segments of the LGBTQ+ community, and rates of eating disorders and body dissatisfaction occurring later in life are on the rise.” In addition, eating disorders can occur in, and negatively affect, ALL bodies, thin or fat. The Cleveland Clinic Journal of Medicine explains that malnutrition from eating disorders negatively affects many systems in the body and occurs regardless of size – yes, this even applies to obesity!

We currently live in a culture that confuses aesthetics with health. This bias contributes to stigmas that build a barrier to treatment and care. Each year NEDA plans a week of events aimed at educating the public, spreading a message of hope, and putting lifesaving resources into the hands of those in need. NEDA Awareness week is February 22-28, 2021 and the theme, “Every Body has a Seat at the Table,” will challenge systemic biases, inviting people from all backgrounds and experiences to share their stories and access care. Below are ways you can get involved.

1. Get Screened.

Are you a chronic dieter, constantly unhappy with your body, obsessed with eating “healthy,” or curious if your eating habits are keeping you from being the best you? If so, take the eating disorder assessment on the NEDA website and encourage your friends and family to do the same (nationaleatingdisorders.org/ screening-tool).

In addition, evaluate your own biases around mental health and body size through the Harvard Implicit Association Test, available for free online (implicit.harvard. edu/implicit/takeatest). Having biases does not make one a bad person. Recognizing them and working to neutralize or not act on them allows our culture to heal and allows individuals to become part of the solution.

2. Educate Yourself.

Eating disorders are serious but treatable mental and physical illnesses that can affect people of all genders, ages, races, religions, ethnicities, sexual orientations, body shapes, and weights.

The chance for recovery increases the earlier an eating disorder is detected. Therefore, it is important to be aware of some of the warning signs of an eating disorder. Visit the NEDA website for a more extensive list of signs and symptoms (nationaleatingdisorders. org/warning-signs-andsymptoms).

3. Speak Up. Current culture promotes body dissatisfaction at every turn. One cannot walk into an office break room without hearing about the latest diet their colleagues are trying, or turn on the TV/radio without hearing an advertisement for body sculpting or anti-aging services. Pay attention to how you speak of your body and others’ bodies. Do not comment on weight, shape, size or aesthetic.

Instead, focus compliments and conversations around gratitude, positive character traits, etc. For example, instead of “Wow, you look great, did you lose weight?” try “I am so happy to see you, what is new in your life?”

4. Ditch the Diet and Embrace Diversity.

Dieting is the biggest predictor of a developing eating disorder. Diets can be camouflaged as lifestyle changes, healthy habits, clean eating, etc. Wellness is important and it refers to more than what we eat or the shape of our bodies.

Consider working with a nondiet dietitian if you want to change eating habits without falling into the diet trap.

Recognize that weight is like height. We grow until we are done growing and that is the height we are stuck with – and the diversity is beautiful.

The same is true of weight; instead of viewing one body size as ideal, embrace the beauty of diverse bodies.

There is an abundance of misinformation and myths about eating disorders. Be the solution – educate yourself, reduce the stigma, and arm yourself with the facts so you can help yourself and others get the treatment they need. (map.nationaleatingdisorders.org) 1. The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA). (n.d.). National Eating Disorder Awareness. Retrieved January 13, 2021, from: nationaleatingdisorders.org

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March 2021 | 81

How to Talk About Your Accomplishments

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

Whether you are looking for a new job, getting a promotion (or looking for one!), or simply excited about what you’ve accomplished, discussing your accomplishments with others can be a daunting or amazing thing. Daunting – what if they think I’m bragging? Amazing – who doesn’t like to celebrate awesomeness?

For example, recently I was working with a client that was very combative about our workshop and development plan. I decided to over-communicate why I was making the decisions I was making – not just telling them I was doing it, but also my thought process of why and what I thought the outcome would be. I did this because, on occasion, I will make decisions and not explain them as much as I should, and clients might think I’m applying a “one-size-fits-all” approach. I know some people like to be included in my thought process. The result While I have really was an excited client that had more strong feelings around buy-in than most, and they turned calls to “be humble” into a repeat client. (essentially, as long as you care about Make sure to hit these points other people and when you’re thinking about your their accomplishments, accomplishments – it also allows don’t worry about talking you to maintain a structure when about yours!), discussing you’re thinking about it – if you’re accomplishments can be zeroing in on the parts mentioned, tough to navigate. And a you’ll have a foundation for relaying bigger question that many your accomplishment. of you might be wondering – what makes an accomplishment When you’ve got things worked out in your head, think back on your an accomplishment in audience and what you hope to the first place?! accomplish. Are you responding to First: who are you talking to and a question about what you’re proud why do you want them to know? of or telling someone a story? What Are you expecting some kind do you want the listener (or reader) of affirmation? Things get tricky to do with this information? Keep before you even start talking. If you in mind, you can’t make someone are telling someone to make them communicate in a certain way – you jealous or angry, you’re telling them can only control how you respond to for the wrong reasons. If you’re telling the communication they choose to put someone because you a proud and out. If you’re looking for affirmation you want to share – amazing, go for or excitement from a friend or family it! In professional cases, you want to member, and they are not known be able to talk about (or write about!) for being extremely complimentary, your accomplishments for potential you might want to let them know promotions, self-evaluations, reviews, you are looking for their excitement. and job interviews. When you think In professional situations, you’re about that audience, know that as long probably answering a question – to as you aren’t doing it for a negative or what end? Is this part of a performance jealous reason, you’ve probably got your review or interview? If so, think about audience rooting for you. how that accomplishment changed you and how you interact with the Next, think about a specific situation. world around you. My previously Accomplishments are like goals – they need mentioned accomplishment made to be specific or you’ll have no idea how to me spend more time assessing discuss them! If you have a situation in mind, clients in onboarding. How did your you can then start to establish the guideposts accomplishment change you? of the accomplishment. To be more specific: think of a challenging situation. In that challenging And always remember – most of the situation, what was the specific action that you took to time, people are rooting for YOU. overcome that challenge? Now, how did you know to Don’t get in your own way, and do that specific action? And finally, what is the outcome? remember to also root for yourself!

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Taryn@onecraftymiss.com March 2021 | 83

A Cultural Experience: Feeding Vulnerable From fresh spring rolls to caramelized lemongrass chicken, the Children of Vietnam (COV) organization partnered with Chef Hue-Chan Karels, owner of Open Kitchen in Santa Fe, for a delicious virtual fundraising cook-along event, the evening of January 24th. As attendees tuned in to learn how to make a few authentic Vietnamese meals, their tickets became steppingstones for the COV organization to raise awareness towards those currently stifled by poverty.

With the Lunar New Year (February 12th) only being a few short weeks from the event, attendees may have noticed that they received the event information mailed in little red envelopes. In Vietnam, a bright red envelope is a traditional Lunar New Year gift (known as hóngbāo) for friends and family that symbolizes prosperity and best wishes. And with the organization’s desire to break the cycle of poverty in the streets of Vietnam and provide immediate aid to families with children, each ticket was indeed a gift. More than that, each ticket acted like a stepping-stone. For instance, the funds from two purchased tickets would support a single mother in buying business stock to sustain her family. Purchasing four tickets would help a single mother start up her business to provide for her family, while eight tickets would support a group of single mothers break the chains of poverty for generations to come through livelihood training classes. Also, attendees had the opportunity to fund vitamin-fortified meals to young children and give the gift of installing water filtration systems in a poor rural village throughout the event.

84 | ForsythWoman.com

With a little preparation and ingredients at hand, attendees turned on their computers to begin the evening learning how to make traditional Vietnamese hors d’oeuvres. There were two options: Gỏi Cuốn Tôm (Vietnamese Fresh Rice Paper with Poached Shrimp and Rice Vermicelli) and Gỏi Cuốn Chay (Vietnamese Fresh Rice Paper with Mushrooms) to be served with a homemade Peanut-Hoisin Dipping Sauce. After enjoying the fresh herbal flavors of these Vietnamese spring rolls, attendees then moved on to making Gỏi Bắp Cải. When paired with a glass of Sauvignon Blanc or Pinot Grigio, this purple cabbage salad with a Vietnamese lime vinaigrette was delightful - a combination of crunchy, sweet, tangy, and salty elements. The main course, Gà Kho Sả/Gừng, consisted of caramelized lemongrass or ginger chicken served with jasmine rice. There was also a vegan option using eggplant. After such a delightful first course, the main course was a perfectly balanced meal with earthy, sweet caramel, and salty elements. The chicken thighs were incredibly tender and full of flavor.

Did you know that lemongrass is a fairly common ingredient used in many Vietnamese dishes? It is so aromatic it adds great depth to maximize flavors and is often smashed

Vietnamese Children for simmering in curries and stews. Many Vietnamese cooks are even known to go the extra mile in chopping it as fine as granulated cane sugar all by hand - no food processor! When done correctly, it’ll add a beautiful fragrance and mouthwatering texture to the dish like none other. For those wanting to try this dish at home, Chef Hue-Chan Karels recommended pairing a light rosé for the chicken option and a dry red for the vegan option.

To finish the evening on a sweet note, attendees were taught how to make Cà Phê Sữa Đá, a Vietnamese iced coffee with sweetened condensed milk. A delectable drink with hints of chicory from the use of cafe du monde, which is most commonly used in the continental United States for café au lait and beignets. As attendees sipped on their sweet, they had the chance to reflect on the tastes of one of the oldest cultures in Southeast Asia that values harmony with all-natural ingredients learning how to transform each subtle ingredient into an incredibly flavorful dish with clever combinations that balanced hints of spicy, bitter, sweet, salty, and sour notes. Not only were attendees able to dine in the comfort of their own homes, but could also end the evening with hearts delighted, knowing it was more than just an experience.

Their evening created grassroots, giving the Children of Vietnam organization funding to develop relationships with small communities in Vietnam to discover the greatest needs to support and sustain.

BY LAUREN SEPHTON

For those that are new to the Children of Vietnam organization, it began back in 1995 with just two friends, Mr. Ben Wilson and Ms. Luong Thi Huong, who would ride a scooter through the streets of Danang, Vietnam, to bring aid to children and their families. The COV organization continues to keep the focus on the vulnerable children, constantly assessing their needs within the context of both their families and communities to maximize all aid efforts. Over the years, they’ve even grown to now offer university scholarships to very bright young people to reach their dreams of ultimately helping out their community. In addition, they’ve also started empowering foundations for single mothers to help them overcome the barriers of financial security. And with every donation, they’re building brighter futures.

To join Children of Vietnam’s mission of lifting children from poverty, donate via their website at childrenofvietnam.org/ donate or mail a check to PO Box 18039, Greensboro, NC 27419-8039. For any questions, email: info@childrenofvietnam.org. Also, a big thank you to Chef Hue-Chen Karel, chef-owner of Open Kitchen, for her generosity in preparing the menu and cooking event. openkitchenevents.com March 2021 | 85

BY TARYN JEREZ OF ONECRAFTYMISS.COM

It’s Time to Engage! 3 Ways to Increase Brand Engagement on Social Media This column is meant to serve as a resource for readers who seek inspiration and knowledge for building their own small business brands. Through actionable advice, find the encouragement to help you keep living your life with hustle and heart.

If you find yourself at a crossroads where you aren’t sure if the time spent on social media is really worth it, here are a few questions to ask yourself.

“Do you sell a product or a service?”

“Do you want more customers for that product or service?”

“Do you want to make more money from those customers buying your product or service?”

(You may see where I’m going with this.)

If you heard your inner monologue respond with a “yes” to those three questions, then your answer is a resounding “Yes! Your time on social media is with it.” If you still aren’t too sure, then that may be a red flag that the time you are already investing isn’t as beneficial as it could be. You want every moment you spend working in and on your business to yield results. The moments you spend on social media shouldn’t be an exception. Instead, you want to say with certainty that your social media strategy and the time you spent implementing it are an important part of your marketing plan.

WHAT TYPE OF ENGAGEMENT METRICS MATTER?

Nobody wants to show up and share on social media only to hear crickets chirping. Instead, it should feel like a conversation is going on between you and your audience members.

Look for engagement through interactions with your page and profile, your individual posts, direct messaging, and any tagging you see through other followers and profiles. You want to increase interaction with your account with the overall mission to increase interaction with every other segment of your business, such as sign-ups for things like email newsletters and calls-to-action, direct sales and bookings, and participation in events, for instance.

Relationships with potential customers can be built while the existing ones are made stronger through these types of engagement From Facebook to Instagram and everything in between, here are three ways to increase brand engagement on your social media.

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#1 CURATE VALUE DRIVE POSTS

While you probably first got your brand on social media for the purpose of promoting it, it’s important to remember that self-promotion isn’t the way you’re going to grow an audience or incite engagement from them. You want to create a relationship with your ideal customer base on each social platform by curating posts for their benefit filled with things that offer value and go beyond a digital billboard about your brand.

Keep these three types of value-driven content in mind when you are looking to put things out there that increase engagement: content centered around inspiration, discovery, and community.

Inspiration - From fashion to fitness and everything in between, users are looking to feel inspired.

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spent cultivating real connections and building relationships.

#2 CREATE A VARIETY OF CONTENT

Remember that we live in a world with a short attention span and the appreciation of instant gratification. This is no different when you think in terms of the content you are putting out into the world as a brand. People are scrolling through life quite literally and wanting to be both entertained and informed by something new, so diversify the type of content and the way that you are sharing it. You want to create an assortment of images, videos, text-based posts, live video, Facebook and Instagram stories, GIFs, shared and linked content to other brands. Overall, you just want to keep it fresh when possible.

#3 KEEP THE CONVERSATION GOING

We talked about the importance of community and building real relationships as a brand with your audience – so how do you keep that relationship growing behind a screen? You may be surprised what a sentence or two coupled with an emoji can do for you. When followers engage with you, you want to engage back! Did a post you shared receive a lot of comments? Take a few moments to reply to each one, even if it’s short and sweet. Keep things open-ended to allow for additional responses back, which will help create a relationship and help your engagement metrics. Are you receiving Direct Messages from followers or reaction comments on your stories?

Make sure you show some love back and answer any messages to show you are a real person behind the business and they matter to you.

Create a social strategy that helps increase engagement by being intentional about what you share and how you interact with your audience.

Engage where it counts the most: making people feel cared for, and more than just a “customer” or “follower” and you will reap the rewards.

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March 2021 | 89

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Beyond SkinDeep: Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful, Inside & Out

BY SUSAN B. B. SCHABACKER

GET GLOWING! DON’T HIDE THAT BEAUTY ON THE INSIDE OR OUT Beauty, as they say, is in the eye of the beholder. We are all works of art, uniquely beautiful in our own right. We enjoy artistic license and expression, but there may come a point when we feel we’ve applied too much makeup, gone a bit overboard with a beauty routine, or maxed out on beauty products that are just collecting dust underneath our bathroom counters.

So, let’s reconfigure and refresh our view of ourselves as beautiful, inside and out. Beauty goes beyond the surface and is not limited to skin deep. Those who love us (fur babies included) unconditionally can overlook a crazy hair day, bad breakouts, and extra pounds.

As a fan of beauty trends and an avid make-up wearer who enjoys experimenting with different looks, I also have to remind myself that I am always beautiful in God’s eyes and should also be in my own eyes – whether piling on make-up or with none at all. However I may look on the outside, I’m still the same beautiful person inside.

I’ll admit, I sometimes panic from misplacing my red lipstick, work on concealing a sudden breakout or decide to contour my nose and cheekbones, but that doesn’t make me shallow or vain.

My views on beauty are not one-sided or cookie cutter because I recognize beauty’s diverse and subjective nature. Beauty is not onedimensional and shouldn’t be translated as solely surface-level. Our Creator loves us unconditionally and created us for a reason, with a greater purpose. He doesn’t stereotype our beauty.

Want to achieve a radiant inner glow? Cultivate and share love, positivity, happiness, and celebrate what makes you unique. Get in touch with your true feelings and write down your innermost thoughts, feelings, and reflections. What makes you tick? What are you passionate about? And, whether right – or left–brained, tap into your creative side.

Have a heart to help? Dedicate time to helping, whether volunteering, mentoring, or supporting a good cause. Rewards may not be monetary or the benefits tangible, but the good you do can come back to you. Feel good about benefitting others and contributing to a better world.

FOCUS ON WHAT’S IMPORTANT! Value what’s on the inside as a priority, and don’t sweat the small stuff. No need to panic about a pimple, struggle with static-spawned frizzies of a bad hair day or undereye bags that can’t be concealed.

Those who truly love you aren’t going to disown you because of beauty blunders and neither should you. Don’t look down on yourself or anyone else because of their outward appearance, and there’s no need to be insecure about going out bare-faced.

“The Lord does not see as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

Most of the images we see in mags of celebrities credit their make-up artists and stylists just as much as they credit their photographers. Rarely will you catch a celeb without professionally applied make-up unless you’re thumbing through paparazzi pictures in celebrity magazines. But don’t let those standards deter you from going sans make-up from time to time. Learn to accept the most natural you, too, and accept what society views as the flaws that make us unique.

There are many forms of beauty. You can keep flipping through fashion mags, get makeovers, and wear your fav lipstick, but always remember how beautiful, worthy, and important you are on the inside, too. Here are some helpful ideas on staying beautiful, inside and out.

There’s a lot more to our beauty than meets the eye. Be your own kind of beautiful and love yourself and others. You are beautiful inside and out and are one-of-a-kind, no matter what you look or feel like. The more comfortable you are in your skin, the better. Allow yourself the freedom to just be! Remember, you’re always beautiful!

92 | ForsythWoman.com

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TEAM FORSYTH MAGS We asked Team Forsyth Mags the question: What is the best advice you ever received?

The results were illuminating, to say the least. Read ahead and maybe some of these sage words will resonate with you!

MARTIE EMORY,

TABI FALCONE,

WRITER

WRITER

Asking for help is a sign of strength!

You are worth more than you realize.

JEN BROWN,

VONDA HENDERSON,

Jump in and then learn to swim.

Be yourself.

WRITER

EDITORIAL DIRECTOR

LAUREN SEPHTON,

CAROLYN PETERSON,

WRITER

KEELA JOHNSON,

Wake up every day seeking God’s plan over your own.

ASSOCIATE EDITOR

WRITER

HEATHER SPIVEY, ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE (FROM HER MAMAW)

Happiness is not by chance but by choice.

Pretty is, as pretty does.

You’re only as pretty as you act.

KIM BEANE,

MEGHAN CORBETT,

You are no better than anyone else - you can scrub a toilet just as good as the next person.

Family comes first, and sometimes you have to do what is best for your family’s happiness no matter how hard it may be at the time.

EDITOR (FROM HER MOTHER)

BROOKE EAGLE,

PUBLISHER (FROM MAYA ANGELOU) Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.

94 | ForsythWoman.com

The rear view mirror on a car is small because you aren’t going that way.

The same with life. Move forward.

EDITOR’S ASSISTANT

AMY HILL, WRITER

Not everything requires a response or reaction. Sometimes the best thing to do is to do nothing.

BROOKE ORR,

ARON DANIELS,

WRITER

JEAN MARIE JOHNSON, WRITER (FROM HER MOM)

Do not make yourself live through hard times twice (referring to anxiety).

Listen to the quiet and knowing voice within. It is your true self speaking to you.

GRAPHIC DESIGNER

KRISTI MARION, ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE

Step outside your comfort zone. That’s the only way you’re going to grow.

TABATHA RENEGAR,

DEBBIE BARR,

WRITER (FROM AN OLD FRIEND)

ELISA COPPEDE,

WRITER (FROM HER DAD) Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Take some advice from an old, worn out, one-eyed neck breather.... do everything you can while you can do it ‘cause one day you won’t be able to.”

WRITER

MELINDA SMITH, PHOTOGRAPHER

WRITER

WRITER

Don’t compare your middle to someone else’s end.

Stop looking at life as a timeline of sequential events that “should be” instead of embracing what’s actually happening.

Trust in Jesus; He will never let you down.

In order to fully say yes to our highest priorities, we must often say no to lesser things.

We accept the love we think we deserve.

DENISE HEIDEL, TARYN JEREZ,

Be the things you loved most about the people who are gone.

ROBIN BRALLEY,

FORSYTH FAMILY PUBLISHER (FROM HER PARENTS) Don’t worry about what other people are doing. You can only control what you do.

Tell us the BEST advice you’ve ever received!

March 2021 | 95

Must Reads for Women’s History Month

BY MEGAN TAYLOR The month of March is known for being Women’s History Month. For the next 31 days, contributions of women in the present and throughout history will be celebrated. There are many ways to share the importance of Women’s History Month, one being telling their stories through books. Normally for this column I list three books, and while it was hard to choose only three for Women’s History Month, the below novels have influenced and stood out to many.

AMBITIOUS GIRL

by Meena Harris

Recently published, Ambitious Girl is a children’s book perfect for all ages, including adults. New York Times bestselling author Meena Harris tells the journey of a young girl who sees a strong woman on TV being overshadowed, overlooked, and called “too assertive” and “too ambitious.” After hearing these comments, the girl learns about the past, present, and future challenges women and girls face, as well as the ways they can knock down those difficulties. Stated in an interview, Harris hopes her book helps girls unlearn stereotypes in the world and show that female ambition is a good thing. Harris is the CEO of Phenomenal Girl and the author of Kamala and Maya’s Big Idea, which is based on her aunt, Vice President Kamala Harris and her mother, Maya Harris. Ambitious Girl is on its way to making a difference in the lives of many girls and women. “As Ambitious Girl says: No ‘too that’ or ‘too this’ will stop what’s inside us from flowering.”

MY OWN WORDS

by Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Mary Hartnett, and Wendy W. Williams Written with the assistance of her biographers, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s book, My Own Words, brings together a collection of her speeches, thoughts, writings, and interviews on subjects, such as gender equality, being Jewish, the Supreme Court, and why we should look to other countries at times.

Some of her speeches date back to the eighth grade. In addition, Justice Ginsburg describes her experiences working with Sandra Day O’Connor and Antonin Scalia. Hartnett and Williams give historical context to Justice Ginsburg’s writing. Throughout the book are pieces of advice and lessons of strength that can inspire anyone. My Own Words is Justice Ginsburg’s first book since 1993 and was published in 2016. The novel garnered many positive reviews including this one from The Washington Post: “Witty, engaging, serious, and playful...a fascinating glimpse into the life of one of America’s most influential women and ‘a tonic to the current national discourse.’”

THE RADICAL ELEMENT: 12 STORIES OF DAREDEVILS, DEBUTANTES, AND OTHER DAUNTLESS GIRLS edited by Jessica Spotswood

Author and editor Jessica Spotswood is joined by 12 other young adult writers to bring you The Radical Element. Set in 1927, readers are taken on a journey through characters’ eyes of racism, immigration, and science. These stories are about girls of all ages, races, and backgrounds who have one goal in mind – standing up for themselves and their beliefs.

Each character takes a different path to discovering how to make their voices known against society’s expectations and readers are left on the edge of their seats as they discover these paths. Based on the tagline, “To respect yourself, to love yourself, should not have to be a radical decision,” The Radical Element is a powerful novel for young adults.

There are hundreds of books that relate to Women’s History Month. The good news? You don’t have to celebrate the achievements or empower women only during March; you can do it all 12 months of the year. These three books are a great way to begin doing just that.

96 | ForsythWoman.com

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The Thought That Counts

BY JEAN MARIE JOHNSON

“I can’t give her this. It’s too measly.”

“It’s fine.”

“Mom, it’s embarrassing!”

“Jeannie, you are forgetting the meaning behind your gift.

It’s the thought that counts.”

My mom was big on refocusing us kids on the things that mattered.

Of course, those words of wisdom went in one ear and out the other at the time, only to reassert themselves many years later. That “reassertion” has meant a shift in my gifting. I could blame it on the interminable COVID isolation, but that wouldn’t be accurate. You see, this year, I sent my sister, who lives in Connecticut, a Birthday Box. Therein were eight or so gifts, one intended to be opened each day, in a countdown to her birthday. And so, each morning before work, my sister would open one carefully and individually-wrapped present.

The memory of that one gift, and the thought behind it, became part of her day.

A few months later, when the holidays rolled around, I felt inspired to take the same approach for my good friend in Massachusetts.

Understanding the harsh and long Northern winters as I do, I decided to pursue a theme, in this case, “self indulgence.” Inside the box went skincare items, a nail polish in a new winter shade, and numerous bath products, all designed to aid and abet luxuriating. I wrapped each item individually and tied it with a ribbon. This time, I attached a tiny note to each, either a word like “relax,” or a teaser such as “classic beauty,” or “natural beauty.” Next, I went to my stash of greeting cards, the ones I would have otherwise discarded over time. With a pair of scissors, I cut out flowers, birds, and butterflies with sheer abandon, I happily gave new life – and meaning – to these beautiful images. Then I added a word on the backside of each – something to inspire a beautiful new year, and scattered them within the box.

Suffice it to say that it took my sheltering-in-place friend quite a while to make her way through her personalized gift box! My phone blew up with texts conveying her surprise and deeply felt appreciation.

98 | ForsythWoman.com

You may think that I have oodles of time on my hands. I don’t.

You may think that I have stashes of money at my disposal. I don’t.

You may think that I have lost my mind. I don’t think so. Instead, it was my mother’s words – it’s the thought that counts – that has prompted my revised gifting. Don’t get me wrong, plenty of family and friends will continue to receive the convenient gift card or the book ordered on and delivered by Amazon. After all, I am also practical! But when your heart moves you to take gifting to a new place, consider the theme box. Here are five tips on how to create a personalized gift box, one inspired by the thought and the thoughtfulness behind it: Create a budget and stick to it. A gift box is only more expensive if you make it so. Once you have your figure, stay within that parameter.

Identify a key theme or idea. For my sister, it was about celebrating a milestone birthday with both style and grace. For my friend, it was self-indulgence. The theme can be anything, as long as the thought behind it is personal and the gifts you choose, relevant.

Keep your eyes open at all times. You never know when you might stumble upon the perfect, thoughtful something for someone on your gift box list. Foodies, readers, fitness buffs, people relocating, retiring, or going through another type of life change – all lend themselves to themed gifting!

Don’t overlook everyday materials. Remember those greeting cards I mentioned earlier? They are easily repurposed as wee notes you can include in your gift box. I have also included glitter, bird feathers, and preserved flowers to personalize my gift boxes.

Let your heart and your imagination guide you. I can’t stress this enough: A gift box isn’t a status box; it isn’t about impressing the receiver with how much you shoveled out for their gift. It’s about the thought behind what’s in the box that counts and matters most.

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FAMILY FUN BY THE FIRE

BY AMY HILL

People are tired of being cooped up indoors all winter and the best remedy is to spend some time in the Great Outdoors.

The perfect place? New River Campground & Canoe. Less than an hour and a half from Downtown Winston-Salem, folks can set up camp and channel their inner adventurer with family and friends this spring and summer. Located in the Blue Ridge Mountains in Independence, Virginia, the campground is conveniently and scenically located along the New River - the oldest river in North America and second oldest river in the world.

The campground, which originated in 1978, has only had two owners since its opening, and after 20 years, current owners Rhonda and Aaron Blevins are ready to retire. They only visited the campground once before they fell in love with it and purchased it back in 2001. To bring the property up to par initially, the pair had their work cut out for them and spent several years sprucing up the facilities and campgrounds. But it was a labor of love and they poured their heart and soul into the property for 20 years. While the last two decades have been “cool living” for the Blevins family, Rhonda and Aaron are naturally ready to pass the torch and hope that another young, friendly couple can take over the property, grow with it, and be fortunate enough to have the same enriching experience that Rhonda and Aaron have had themselves. It is a thriving business with repeat customers and new ones as well – part of the fun is getting to know the families!

A PLACE FOR FAMILIES In fact, New River Campground is notorious for its familyoriented atmosphere. In addition to the New River, which surprisingly - and counterintuitively - flows south to north, there are two creeks that children flock to. Campsites sit along the river, which allows for a peaceful sleep inside campers’ tents and sleeping bags. In her years of experience, Rhonda has seen first-time campers typically starting with tents, later progressing to pop up or towable campers, and eventually breaking into the world of motor homes or RVs. The campground also offers camping cabins and efficiency apartments as well, for those who want to spend less time setting up camp and more time on the river. Efficiency apartments come fully stocked, requiring renters to only bring food, clothes, and their favorite pillows.

During the 20 years they have owned the campground, Rhonda and Aaron have seen camping couples grow from teenagers to adults and to eventually bring children and teenagers of their own to the New River to camp. The couple has adored watching so many children grow up and make so many friends throughout their property ownership. After the campground’s website was created in the early 2000s, the campground even began attracting international campers.

A STOCKED STORE The camp store sells necessities such as coffee, groceries, water shoes, firewood, ice, and even tents and air mattresses, making packing and planning meals for a camping trip a less daunting task. Fishermen (and fisherwomen) can find live bait and artificial lures to help catch dinner. For those new to the world of camping and not sure which fireside meals to feed the family, Rhonda advises that campers can never go wrong with grilling steak or cheeseburgers, roasted corn, and, of course, campfire s’mores.

A FULL CALENDAR Reservations fill up fast! The campground opens the last weekend in March and typically stays booked (especially during weekends and holidays). “On opening day, the parking lot is full and people are standing on the porch waiting to make reservations,” says Rhonda. “Some people even spend the night to be first in line to get a reservation. By the end of the day, we have no reservations left for Memorial Day or Fourth of July.”

COME JOIN THE FUN! Ready to take a ride down the river? Visitors can rent canoes, kayaks, and ski tubes for the day, with shuttle service provided.

If you would like to bring your own kayak or canoe, staff can shuttle your equipment for a fee, making your trip to the river a breeze. Visit the campground’s website at canoeingthenew. com to view daily rental rates. To stay up-to-date on the campground’s latest happenings, follow New River Campground and Canoe on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

Call (336) 372-8793 or email inquiries@canoeingthenew.com for more information on accommodations and river safety tips. Contact inquiries@canoeingthenew for information on purchasing the property.

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WOMEN ON THE MOVE KRISTIE KINLEY & KELSEY CONDON

Kristie Kinley and Kelsey Condon have worked at 97 Display for more than five years. Recently, Kristie was promoted to General Manager/President and Kelsey was promoted to Director of Client Experience. They both worked their way up from entry level positions to managers and, now, are executive team members. “Kristie’s promotion puts her in charge of all company managers/leaders,” said Chelsea Goodwin, CEO and founder of The Agent Accelerator. “Kelsey is now on the executive team serving alongside the CEO, General Manager and the other director-level positions. These ladies are also best friends. They have both lead their company through the adoption of the EOS system during 2020, and in a year where many companies were impacted by Covid, 97 Display thrived and grew under their hard work and leadership. Kelsey is wife to Jack, mother to Walt (2) and dog mom to Payton. Kristie is wife to Justin and dog mom to Avett. Kelsey loves to spend time with friends and relax with her wonderful family. Kristie enjoys spending time outdoors and quality time with the people she loves.

JULIEN PATTON

Julien Patton is the owner of It’s A Photo Booth Life. After selling the family business, Julien wanted to start her own company while attending school for a degree in computer programming and network management. “It brings me joy to see other people enjoying the photo booth and creating memories,” said Patton. “And, it happens to be a flexible business while I’m in school.” Julien’s business has been very successful in a short period of time. She met the booking goal for the first year in business even during the Covid pandemic. In her spare time, she enjoys hiking, pottery, watercolor, candle making and supporting non-profits such as Twin City Santa, volunteering with Sawtooth and River Run International Film Festival, and is on the board of downtown WS partnership. She also enjoys spending time with her rescue dog, Georgi.

If you are interested in submitting yourself or someone you know for a future Women on the Move feature, visit our online application link!

TinyURL.com/ForsythWomanWOM

DANIELLE BLANTON & STEPHANIE FULTON

Danielle Blanton and Stephanie Fulton are the owners of Local Roots Coffee in Kernersville.

They have been in business for three years.

“Our long friendship turned into a partnership for a cozy, local coffee house, and we pride ourselves on showcasing other local femalemade products in our shop, as well,” they said. “Danielle also owns a handmade candle business and teaches yoga while Stephanie owns a custom clay earring business and recently started esthetician school to expand her arsenal. We love being a place where locals love to be!” Supporting local businesses is extremely important and easy with caring, hardworking business owners like Danielle and Stephanie!

BRITTANY NICOSIA

Brittany Nicosia is a women’s health nurse practitioner with more than 10 years in healthcare, currently practicing at Wake Forest Baptist Health in Gynecologic Oncology and is a LGTBQ+ affirming and trained provider. “I am so fortunate to work with a very special patient population that not only allows an opportunity to make impactful change in their lives but has also positively impacted mine,” said Nicosia. “The strength, courage and grace my patients demonstrate has made an everlasting change in my heart. In addition to direct patient care, I am involved in research and quality improvement projects. I am a member of the APP council at Baptist and a member of the NPWH Conference Review Committee.” Brittany received a bachelor’s degree at the University of Florida as well as a bachelor’s degree from National University. She then went on to earn her masters in nursing from Vanderbilt University. In her free time, Brittany enjoys participating in anything active that can be done outside such as exercising and hiking. She loves supporting causes close to her heart as well as frequenting local businesses and empowering women through love, support and positivity.

CARRIE JEROSLOW

Relationship Coach and Soulmate Expert Carrie Jeroslow helps women go from heartbreak to soulmate by teaching them the secrets to finding, having and maintaining empowering and fulfilling soulmate relationships. She has had a varied career over the past 25 years in both the theatrical and healing arts.

From a NYC casting director to the resident director for the theatrical sensation, Blue Man Group, to a massage therapist, energy healer, relationship coach and vineyard/winery owner, the one constant in her life has been her own path of selfdiscovery. She has helped many clients create profound life changes using the process in her #1 Amazon bestselling book, Why Do They Always Break Up with Me? In her spare time, Carrie loves getting lost in music and in great acting, whether on-screen or on-stage. Her daily inspiration comes from her two young sons and supportive, loving husband.

March 2021 | 103

Bored at your job? How to make it ok & find the light

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

It is 100% normal to be bored at work sometimes. This doesn’t mean you hate your job or need to get another! Especially if you find yourself bored after you’re getting off of a big assignment – or even adjusting to a new normal.

One of the most important things you can do if you find yourself bored at work is see if it’s a “Hey, I hate my job and I’m bored” or a “Hey, I am fine, just bored right now.” If it’s the first, dig into some past issues for tips on finding a new job and making a career change. If it’s bored for right now, keep reading for some things you can do to make your work more worthwhile:

MAKE SURE YOU’RE GETTING THE MOST OUT OF WORK If you’ve got a job with benefits, make sure you’re aware of what those benefits are and that you’re getting the most out of it.

Some employers will have reimbursements for continuing education, discounts at local businesses, or other benefits that are not immediately obvious (or things that you might have forgotten about when you started working there!). If you’re not sure what your benefits are, use your “boring time” to review and dig in.

This is also a great time to research your salary (make sure you’re getting paid fairly for your field!) and also evaluate any 401k plan choices.

Use your time to work on what you’re getting out of work.

CLEAN. YES, CLEAN.

DELETE, UNFOLLOW, AND CHECK SPAM

If your day is dragging – clean.

Not just cleaning dust, grime, or things that a few Clorox wipes can handle. Clean up your computer, make your desktop look decent, and be sure that you can find the files you need quickly. A few hours of cleaning up things will lead to a faster computer as well as a less stressful workday when you’re looking for a form or a file that isn’t buried in some folder that you knew you’d remember the name of (and of course you don’t).

If your inbox is a mess, take some time, and straighten up your emails, newsletters, and spam. I know I’ve found an email that I needed in my spam box and said more than once “Oh, I’ll delete this later” only to get several newsletters months down the line – and remembering that “later” for unsubscribing.

NETWORK READY! We might not be network event heavy quite yet – but you can use this time to look up some upcoming events that might be helpful to your current job, or work on your social media profiles to connect your work to your life. I’m not talking about scrolling through your Instagram feed – I’m talking about updating your LinkedIn, check in with your accomplishments, and make sure your job description is up to date!

Take your boring time to click unsubscribe as much as you need to – you can always resubscribe if you need it – and clean up your email. Set up some junk filters and ease your email stress.

READ ABOUT YOUR INDUSTRY Take some time to learn the newest and next thing that’s happening in your field. Do a quick Google and read up on what changes are up and coming, whether it be technology or events, there is probably something new going on in your field. See how the field adapts or moves around adversity. Need a suggestion? Check on what they are doing for diversity and inclusion.

WRITE A SELF-EVALUATION Whether you have to do it every year or not, make time to write yourself a self-evaluation to keep you motivated. Make sure you’ve got goals and accomplishments all set for the year that you just wrapped, as well for the year upcoming. You don’t have to wait for the first of the year – whatever day you make your first, you can go from there!

iHeart Radio

For the love of reading

BY ARON DANIELS

“A book is a dream you hold in your hands.” ~ Neil Gaiman I feel like one of the best gifts I can give my kids is a love of reading. A person who loves books can learn about different life perspectives, travel the world, explore history, engage imagination, and become inspired and educated, all from opening a new book. Books are the closest thing we have to magic. A person can lose themselves in a book and take an entire journey that opens them up to life as a whole.

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Over the last few years, we have really been encouraging reading in our house and as it has taken root in our kids, I wanted to take it to the next level. I wanted to take that love of reading and make it something that had even more room to grow. What if we had a way to share our love of reading with our community and give our family something to engage in together that could make a positive impact locally?

Enter Little Free Library, a “take a book, return a book” free book exchange. A couple of months ago we were finally able to put up our very own free book box in our neighborhood. We got started by going around our house and finding 15-20 books that we really liked and hoped would find new homes and filling up our box. Every couple of weeks we have replaced the books and have really enjoyed seeing some of the books being swapped out by local residents.

Recently I had our local used bookstore gather a large assortment of books for us to buy, and it was a game-changer. Suddenly, we had classics, best-sellers, children’s books, cookbooks, fiction, biographies, and everything you could think of. It felt like Christmas to me to be able to have a ton of interesting reads for our neighborhood book box. All the books are free for people to take and we also accept donations.

Last week we did one extra thing that really had my kids excited. Because not everyone is familiar with what a book box is, or even noticed it as they were coming and going, we took gifts to our neighbors.

We made bags that included a free book, a bookmark with some basic information about the book box on it, and a paper that told them why they were getting a book and that they could come swap it out if it wasn’t a perfect fit for them. Before we even made it up the second street with our wagon full of books, we saw kids on bikes at the book box, and a family heading there with a book to swap in hand. It felt really neat to see people out (on kind of a colder day) just to check out the new box. I am a big believer in investing in your community in whatever ways you can, and my hope is that these books will become valuable to our neighbors the way they are to our family.

Since starting our Little Free Library, we have also made it kind of a fun destination whenever we go out together. The website, LittleFreeLibrary.org has a map of all the registered book boxes, and we found out that there are about ten of them within a few minutes of our house. Many of them are at playgrounds, churches, and other great local community spaces. It has become a treasure hunt for us to go find new special books to enjoy.

If you are interested in creating your own book box location, you can register a box that you create yourself, or can purchase one of the existing options at LittleFreeLibrary.org. Reading has the power to really impact everybody. Find your local book boxes today and fall in love with a new book.

Think Green… for St. Patrick’s Day and for the rest of the year.

Clemmons Bicycle

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Marshacwise@aol.com 336-765-0260/336-416-6163 4825 Country Club Rd. | Winston-Salem, NC 27104 March 2021 | 107

CELEBRATIONS

Congratulations on your retirement, Julie!

Congratulations, Tenijah Fant, Miss Winston-Salem USA 2021!

Tenijah Fant, a Winston-Salem native, has received the title of Miss Winston-Salem USA 2021. Tenijah, who is passionate about social movements like #metoo, gun violence awareness, domestic violence awareness, and mental health awareness, will participate in the Miss NC 2021 pageant in June of this year. Good luck, Tenijah!

Tenae Howard + Darrel Clodfelter 1.1.22 Brandi Myers Photography

PHOTOS BY JEJ PHOTOS

Happy 65th Birthday to our “main man” aka Teej, Tim, Dad. We love you!

March 2021 | 109

Pupaholics Pet Care

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From my Otis to yours, enjoy all the best stylish dog accessories Sassy keychains, dogtags, sweatshirts, coordinating harnesses, leashes, and bagholders, custom pet portraits, tote bags, and more made locally!

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Tayler

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KELLEY CARNALL

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Rodan + Fields, Kelley Carnall

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Shop Scarlette’s Performance

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4961 S Main Street, Winston-Salem, NC 27107 Monday - Friday 8:00am - 5:30pm

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SECOND WEDNESDAYS

MARCH 11

PROFESSIONAL WOMEN OF WINSTON-SALEM MEETING 11:30am-1pm, Footnote on 4th Street in W-S. Join PWWS for the monthly meeting. Learn more at PWWS.org.

Due to limited seating capacity, preregistration is required. A virtual option will also be available.

STEEP CANYON RANGERS 8-9:30pm, Online. The Grammy winners from Asheville, NC come to Boone for a live concert streamed from the stage of the Schaefer Center into your homes. Frequent collaborators with banjoist (and comedian) Steve Martin, Steep Canyon Rangers are major players in the bluegrass/country and Americana scene today, with comparisons to The Band, Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, and Zac Brown Band. theschaefercenter. org/event/steep-canyon-rangers

NOW - MARCH 8 (MON) WINSTON-SALEM DASH GIVEAWAY MONDAYS The giveaways will run each Monday from 4-6pm or until supplies run out.

Each giveaway is limited to 150 items, and only one item can be redeemed per guest each week. The items will be given out at the Hanes Team Store just inside the main gate at Truist Stadium.

Proper social distancing and CDC recommended safety measures will be followed during the giveaways.

The Hanes Team Store will be open to purchase Dash merchandise during each event.

MARCH 9

MARCH 13-15 JULIE GUDMESTAD WEEKEND YOGA WORKSHOP Zoom, Sunrise Yoga Studio. Get ready! Julie is coming back via Zoom for a weekend workshop focused on standing poses. During these stressful and unsettling times, we could all use a little help staying centered and grounded.

Standing poses can fit that bill, with their emphasis on grounding through the legs as you work on strength, balance and flexibility.

For more information such as pricing, session details and/or to sign up, visit our website at sunriseyoga.net/yoga-workshops. Cost: $60$200/person.

MARCH 20

LITERACY PROJECT VOLUNTEER INFO SESSION 12-1pm, Zoom, Read Write Spell, 875 West 5th Street in W-S. Read Write Spell needs volunteers to serve as tutors to public school students. We train and support our volunteers and provide all of the tools necessary for success. For more information or to register, visit www.readws.org/becomeatutor.

DISCOVERY & INVENTION 8pm, Steven Tanger Performing Arts Center, 300 North Elm Street in Greensboro. Hailed by The New York Times as “the versatile violinist who makes the music come alive,” Kelly HallTompkins joins the Greensboro Symphony Orchestra for Florence Price’s Violin Concerto No. 2, a hallmark mid-century work only discovered in 2009. greensborosymphony.org

MARCH 9 & 23

MARCH 21

FREE ESTATE PLANNING WEBINAR Salem Law, 1645 Westbrook Plaza Drive in W-S. This workshop covers frequently asked questions and common misconceptions regarding estate planning. When it comes to sorting facts from fiction in estate planning, we provide leadership. We help our clients and professionals in the field create individual solutions that work. We have a variety of workshops designed that teach fundamental estate planning concepts. Morning and evening sessions are regularly available.

The choice of a lawyer is an important decision and should not be based solely upon advertisements. All workshops are free and open to the public. Attendees receive a free consultation with Attorney Daniel J. Umlauf.

KELLY HILL-TOMPKINS CHAMBER EVENT 2-3:30pm, UNCG School of Music, 100 McIver Street in Greensboro. In the event this performance is postponed, all tickets issued, including those booked as part of the 2020–21 season, will be valid for admission to the rescheduled engagement. Patrons will be promptly alerted to any schedule changes should they occur. Cost: $6-$32/person. greensborosymphony.org

MARCH 27 HEATHER HEADLEY 8pm, Steven Tanger Performing Arts Center, 300 North Elm Street in Greensboro. Tony and GRAMMY Award Winner and one of Broadway’s brightest stars, Heather Headley will perform hits from The Lion King, Elton John and Tim Rice’s Aïda! greensborosymphony.org

APRIL 13 & 27

APRIL 24

FREE ESTATE PLANNING WEBINAR Salem Law, 1645 Westbrook Plaza Drive in W-S. This workshop covers frequently asked questions and common misconceptions regarding estate planning. When it comes to sorting facts from fiction in estate planning, we provide leadership. We help our clients and professionals in the field create individual solutions that work. We have a variety of workshops designed that teach fundamental estate planning concepts. Morning and evening sessions are regularly available. The choice of a lawyer is an important decision and should not be based solely upon advertisements. All workshops are free and open to the public. Attendees receive a free consultation with Attorney Daniel J. Umlauf.

SEEDS FOR THE SOUL: SEEDS OF JOY WOMEN’S DAY RETREAT 8:30am-4pm, River Oaks Community Church, 1855 Lewisville-Clemmons Road in Clemmons. Seeds of Joy is an all-day women’s retreat where you will learn how to have joy even during struggles. Zoe Elmore and Cyndee Ownbey will be speaking and leading breakout sessions. Your day will include praise and worship music, two messages about finding joy in a fallen world, prayer and reflection time, a catered lunch, giveaways and more! Childcare is provided for infants through fifth grade (lunch and snacks for kids included). Cost: $35/person. www.facebook.com/roccwomen

APRIL 17 SYMPHONIE FANTASTIQUE 8pm, Steven Tanger Performing Arts Center, 300 North Elm Street in Greensboro. Relive the folly of your college-aged youth with the greatest student music of all time. Brahms’ Academic Festival Overture, while written long after his college days, is based on German fraternity drinking songs. Chopin, already a piano prodigy, completed his Piano Concerto No. 2 while still a student with help from his classmates in Warsaw. Berlioz’s Symphonie Fantastique is a hallucinatory love letter, of sorts, to a college crush from his days at the Paris Conservatoire. greensborosymphony.org

APRIL 18 BEETHOVEN & SCHUMANN CHAMBER EVENT 4pm, UNCG School of Music, 100 McIver Street in Greensboro. Cost: $6-$32/person. greensborosymphony.org

Wine Merchants

KENNY G 8pm, Steven Tanger Performing Arts Center, 300 North Elm Street in Greensboro. Relax to the mellow sounds of Grammy awardwinning saxophonist, Kenny G as he performs “Havana,” “Forever in Love,” “Heart and Soul,” “Silhouette” and “My Heart Will Go On.” greensborosymphony.org

APRIL 29 MAESTROS AND MENDELSSOHN 8pm, Steven Tanger Performing Arts Center, 300 North Elm Street in Greensboro. Maestro Dmitry Sitkovetsky takes both podium and soloist’s position in this Masterworks spectacular. Mendelssohn’s concerto, six years in the making, has become a titan among the violin repertoire. Another titanic work, Richard Strauss’ Zarathustra employs massive forces of strings, winds and brass to bring Nietzsche’s classic to life – and goes well beyond its well-known opening fanfare, immortalized in the film 2001: A Space Odyssey. Weber’s sprightly Freischütz overture opens. greensborosymphony.org

*DISCLAIMER: EVENT DETAILS ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE. PLEASE CHECK EVENT WEBSITES & SOCIAL MEDIA PAGES FOR UPDATES AS THE DATES DRAW NEAR.*

Wine | Bar Supplies NC produced Market Goods Take N Bake Meals Butcher Shop Items

Vin205.com (336) 765-8175 205 S. Stratford Rd. Suite N | Winston-Salem, NC 27103 WineMerchantsVin205

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March 2021 | 113

Conversations with Your BFF There are more single adults living, working, and yes, still breathing in the United States than ever before in history. So, when you say, ‘There are other fish in the sea,’ you aren’t kidding. There are millions of fish in the sea, actually. So when you consider dating someone, is it a good thing to narrow your search in the sea to your best fiend’s pond and hook up with her ex? I’m so glad you asked.

YOUR FRIENDSHIP MAY BE IN JEOPARDY In a perfect world, you’d be able to date your BFF’s ex and have everyone live happily ever after, but this world is far from perfect. The first thing you should consider is whether or not your new relationship is worth the possibility that you might lose your best friend.

Only you can decide if the new person in your life is worth losing the friend who has been by your side a long time.

TALK TO YOUR FRIEND BEFOREHAND If you are really ready to pursue a relationship with your BFF’s ex, talk to your friend about it first. You can just ask them how they would feel if you dated their ex. If it was a recent breakup, your friend may take more offense than if her breakup was in the past. Feelings tend to remain on the surface where relationships are concerned, so don’t be shocked if the guy your friend complained about isn’t onboard with you dating him now.

CONSIDER WHY YOUR BFF’S RELATIONSHIP WITH HER EX ENDED We all hope that when we separate from a spouse or significant other, that it ends on good terms. Everyone walks away wishing the best for the other, but again, in this world, that doesn’t happen often. If the relationship ended badly, especially if there was infidelity, you should tread lightly. You have to remember, your friend may have suffered greatly with her breakup and even shared much with you, so she might wonder why you would want to date someone who hurt her so badly, when you say you are her friend. That’s a heavy point to consider.

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“Is It OK to Date My Best Friend’s Ex?”

BY REBECCA COOPER

YOU MAY FACE THE SAME ISSUES WITH HER EX AS SHE DID Let’s face it; people are very resistant to change, no matter how much you think they should.

You shouldn’t be surprised if you have some of the same issues with your BFF’s ex. If he had a wandering eye and acted on his impulses, he’s probably going to still have that behavior. As I recently read, ‘Prince Charming will usually repeat the blueprint of his past behaviors,’ but sadly in your case, you may not have that friend’s shoulder to cry on. You more than likely will receive the cold shoulder and an ‘I told you so!’ Seriously consider whether this new interest will change for you when he didn’t change for your friend. It’s best to do your pondering on the subject before you actually get into the relationship, because those first few months of the honeymoon phase of any relationship can blind you into thinking Prince Charming was just not appreciated or understood by your friend. Face it, nine times out of 10, that’s isn’t the case and you may just be setting yourself and your friend up for a heartbreak and the loss of the best buddy you will ever have.

In the end, the choice is yours, so consider all the possibilities, outcomes, and hearts that may break before you run headlong into dating your BFF’s ex.

farm fresh meets sophisticated dining TUESDAY Half Price Wine by the Glass WEDNESDAY Half price Whiskey & Bourbon THURSDAY $3 Off Martinis

Young Cardinal Cafe & Co

321 WEST FOURTH STREET | WINSTON SALEM | 336.448.1714 TUESDAY-THURSDAY 4pm-9pm | FRIDAY - SATURDAY 4pm-10pm | SUNDAY 4pm-9pm

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336-448-5188 | HOURS: Monday Closed | Tuesday - Sunday 8am - 3pm

424 4th Street NW, Winston-Salem (formerly Hutch & Harris)

A N D R E WS R E S TA U R A N T SWS .CO M

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