Hungry for Hope: Neighbors Helping Neighbors

BY TABATHA RENEGAR

If you’re like me, each year when you see the billboards and advertisements for Crisis Control Ministry’s (CCM) signature event, Hope du Jour, you start making notes. In case you’re not familiar, Hope du Jour is a partnership between CCM and over 140 local food and beverage businesses throughout Forsyth County that for one day, always the first Tuesday of May, donate 10% of their sales that day back to CCM. So, when the list of participating restaurants was published, plans would be made to eat out that day for each meal!

Plans will be made differently this year as CCM, like so many nonprofits, has had to pivot and rethink their fundraising efforts and strategies. And I happen to think this is one of the best examples of making lemonade from lemons in a post-pandemic world!

This year, the Development Team at CCM understood that their Hope du Jour partners were still struggling financially because of the economic impact of the pandemic, and they wanted to do something to support them and drive business to their doors. Therefore, the decision was made not to host the 31st Annual Hope du Jour this year, and instead, Hungry for Hope was created.

For the entire month of June, CCM will be advertising local food and beverage businesses that have participated in Hope du Jour in the past with one goal: to get the community to support local food and beverage establishments. Many of the participating restaurants have supported neighbors in crisis for over 15 years! This year, CCM will not be asking for a donation from Hope du Jour partners. Hungry for Hope is a way for Crisis Control Ministry to say “thank you” to all the previous participants of Hope du Jour that are still in business and to encourage the community to patronize their establishments.

The campaign sponsors, along with CCM staff and volunteers, want to give local food and beverage businesses that have supported the Ministry and helped neighbors in crisis for years free advertising to help them survive the pandemic. In lieu of donations, Crisis Control Ministry will use the Hungry for Hope marketing campaign to spread awareness of CCM and the services they offer to those experiencing a time of financial crisis.

If that doesn’t epitomize the meaning of ‘community,’ I am not sure what does!

So, this month, I have bookmarked: hopedujour. org/find-a-restaurant/ and will look forward to doing my part to support the neighbors who have worked so hard to keep moving forward, serving and providing for you and me. Next year, I’ll enjoy a day of restaurant hopping on May 3, 2022!

For the complete list of dozens of restaurants and business in the area that would love to see you during Hungry for Hope, visit: hopedujour.org/ find-a-restaurant/.

Hope du Jour

REALITY TV

Why We Love It & What It Means for Society

BY AMY HILL

Reality television has been on air for decades, much to every middleaged father’s chagrin, and has rapidly become one of the most dominating genres of television for its targeted audience of 18 to 49-year-olds. From The Real World in the early 1990s to competition shows such as Survivor, reality TV fans throughout the nation have seen their favorite shows evolve season after season - and not always for the better.

With the increase in social media and the ease of reading season spoilers and behind-the-scenes gossip online, viewers are no longer naive to the disingenuousness of not-so-reality television. Young adults and teenage viewers might have been devastated to later learn that not everything they saw unfold on MTV’s The Hills actually happened in real life as it was portrayed. The reactions, confrontations, and wise one-liners from cast members were often conjured up by production - sometimes even in the form of voiceovers post-filming. It was easy to fool viewers in the 1990s and early 2000s, but now that consumers have caught on, why are they still tuned in?

The magic of reality TV is still very much alive because humans are naturally gluttons for observing other humans. This would explain the phenomenon of how Youtube videos consisting solely of someone sitting on their sofa and eating their weight in Panda Express receive millions of views. On the other hand, many people would rather watch football or history documentaries, and have no interest in which Beverly Hills housewife hosted yet another dramafilled dinner party. What makes someone susceptible to being sucked into the world of reality TV - whether they’re watching or auditioning for a role?

Individual differences in personality may account for why some are more vulnerable to contracting the reality TV virus than others. According to a 2018 article in Psychology Today, individuals higher in trait voyeurism prefer this genre of television over others. No need to worry - trait voyeurism is not the same as clinical voyeurism, which is viewed as sexually deviant or immoral. Researcher Lemi Baruh describes trait voyeurism in regards to television-watching as “seeking safe ways of having access and/or experiences that would be otherwise inaccessible, and something enjoyed opportunistically.” In a sense, this is the equivalent to why some people can easily pass time by people-watching in a shopping mall or crowded airport while others prefer engaging in conversation.

Additionally, watching reality television possibly serves as a form of indirect social stimulation for those on the more introverted side or those suffering from social anxiety. These individuals are able to relate to others on television and feel as if they have a friendship with reality TV stars without risking social rejection. On the other hand, are reality TV stars necessarily the right people to form vicarious friendships with?

It’s no secret that researchers have found a correlation between celebrities and trait narcissism. According to another article in Psychology Today, a 2009 study conducted by researchers Mark Young and Drew Pinsky discovered that celebrities scored higher on the Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI) than control participants in the study. The histrionics necessary for successfully catapulting one’s career as a drama-starting, overreacting reality star require higher levels of narcissism and self-esteem than are found in the average population working a 9-5 job. While high levels of narcissism and a tendency to fly off the handle aren’t necessarily the best traits for someone interested in an accounting career to possess, they certainly come in handy for those craving a life in the public eye.

With these findings, it’s natural to be concerned about the implication of reality TV’s effects on society - especially in teenagers and young adults. Because there’s no end in sight for the seemingly problematic genre of television, it’s imperative that parents monitor what their teens are watching and educate them on actual reality versus the “reality” they see on Bravo. If young viewers are aware that throwing a wine glass at your dinner party guests during an argument isn’t normal or acceptable behavior off-camera, they will be less likely to normalize and reenact the toxic behaviors they see on their screens. Teach young consumers to view reality television as nothing more than the virtual circus it truly is.

Kimchi and Korean Food Lovers Rejoice!

Cook Your Next Korean Meal at Home

BY SUSAN B. B. SCHABACKER

Love kimchi? Craving Korean food, but rather DIY at home? Skip the trip to the local Korean restaurant and try cooking your own delicious and nutritious meal in your own kitchen. However simple or complex you decide to go, here are some recipes to try and share. Be it bibimbap or bulgogi, learn to cook basic Korean dishes and apply the art of substituting whatever ingredients are already in your fridge and pantry.

Save an extra trip to the grocery store, conserve food, and save money, while you enjoy your own Korean-inspired meal. As a Korean American, I love to create mouthwatering Korean dishes whether spicy, savory, salty, or sweet.

For those of us who can’t afford or don’t always have the refrigerator and pantry stocked with every imaginable ingredient, creativity can come in handy when you’re missing an ingredient.

Cooking is not an exact science and it helps to think outside the box.

If you’re in an ambitious multi-tasking mode, you may be okay with using every burner on your stove top, even if it requires extra dishwashing. But, for those who prefer to keep the post-meal dishwashing to a minimum, you may be better off with a one-pot-meal. It just requires some think-through strategizing prior to cooking.

A Korean-style ramen dish is a great place to start if you love a good one-pot meal. For added antioxidants, you can boil noodles or rice with organic broth and green tea instead of water. Drop in some slow cooking sweet potatoes or other root veggies. For protein, you can add in an egg, chunks of chicken, beef, or seafood (fish, shrimp, or scallops), tofu, or tempeh in any combination. Finally, add in some quick cooking veggies such as spinach or bok choy. You can always add a variety of different colored veggies to your dish, so who says you can’t throw in some chopped cucumbers, radishes, carrots, or even beets?

Here is a recipe for cooking a fav Korean dish, bibimbap, a healthy staple perfect for those trying to avoid sugar.

BIBIMBAP - GLUTEN-FREE AND VEGAN FRIENDLY

Ingredients: • Drizzles of EVOO (extra virgin olive oil), avocado oil, or toasted sesame oil for a nutty flavor • ¾ cup brown rice, white rice, wild rice, black rice, quinoa, or couscous • 1½ cups vegetable, chicken, beef, miso broth, or water, plus 2 green tea bags (optional) • 3 cups of a variety of vegetables, such as carrots, cabbage, zucchini, yellow squash, butternut squash, eggplant, onions, and/or spinach • 1 cup bean sprouts, mushrooms, and/or edamame • 2 large eggs • 2 stalks chopped green onion • 2 cloves minced garlic • 2 Tablespoons liquid aminos, soy sauce, or tamari to taste • 1 Tablespoon or more of kimchi • 1 teaspoon sesame seeds (optional garnish) • Drizzles of gochujang sauce, siracha, oyster sauce, hoisin sauce, or other sauce (to taste) Instructions: 1. Boil rice or other grain in liquid with green tea (optional) until tender, but not mushy and remove from heat.

2. Add oil to a saucepan, add minced garlic, lower heat, and stir till slightly browned.

3. Add veggies that take the longest time to cook, then add the quickest cooking veggies according to timing.

4. Stir in liquid aminos or soy sauce and remove from heat.

5. Transfer mixed veggies onto plate and set aside, add oil to the same pan and fry eggs.

To serve: Add cooked rice or grain to a bowl, arrange veggies overtop, followed by fried eggs, sprinkle with chopped green onion and sesame seeds (optional) as a garnish. Complete the dish with kimchi and sauce(s) of choice.

Bibimbap Recipe Adapted from: minimalistbaker.com/ easy-bibimbap-with-gochujang-sauce/

Remember, it’s up to you how simple or complex you want to get with your approach to cooking. If you’re tired of the “same ole” and want to try something less traditional, don’t be afraid to explore new options and experience this colorful array of veggies and rice with a nice crispy crunch. You never know until you try it and it may become your new fav!

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWNIs it serving you?PERFECTIONISM:

Ever want to make things “just right” and you keep trying and trying, and you just can’t get it there?

Have you ever stopped to think about where “there” is?

That’s the problem with perfectionism: the goalpost keeps moving. No matter how hard you try, you can’t hit that perfect point where everything is “right” because you don’t know what right is!

If this sounds too true, you might be in the process of being a recovering perfectionist. And you can get through this, I promise.

First off, perfectionism isn’t always helpful – and I very specifically say that phrase, “isn’t always” – there are instances where perfect is important. If you’re a perfectionist, you might find it is effective when you need a high level of attention to detail or need to be sure something is right.

That isn’t true all the time, however – there are a lot of instances where your perfectionism will not serve you and will hold you back. That’s step one: check in to see where your perfectionism serves you; that is, where does it help you do your job better? Those are the moment that you don’t have to “fix.”

The other moments?

The places where your perfectionism only hinders progress and hurts your work? That’s where you have to zoom in with the following ideas.

IDENTIFY

Be specific! What are the moments that aren’t being served by perfectionism? Be specific in identifying those moments and choose one to start zeroing in on. For example, perhaps your perfectionism is helpful when dealing with client files, but isn’t serving you when you’re having a meeting with a client. That’s the behavior you’re going to start with.

WORST CASE

What will happen if everything goes wrong? What if the worst thing happens, what will it look like, what will you do and what is the chance that it will happen?

That’s the big one, right? Let’s revisit the last example – perfectionism isn’t serving you when you’re meeting with a client. What’s the worst thing that could happen if you get it “wrong” in this client meeting? Go there – all the way there! Lean into the anxiety and the little voice that is just saying the absolute worst things. So that “worst thing” might be the client leaving and getting angry, causing you to lose your job.

WILL THAT HAPPEN?

Probably not.

So why are you letting that worstcase hold you back?

This is a major part of perfectionism – many folks are perfectionists because they don’t want to make a mistake or “screw up” and that’s fine – the problem comes in when you stop yourself from success by letting the need to be perfect override the process of actually getting the thing done!

WHAT’S ENOUGH?

When you start a task that you might fall into perfectionism with (like the one we identified earlier) make sure to figure out what the product needs to look like when you’re done. Yes, it won’t be “perfect” – but does it need to be? What is enough to make you sufficiently comfortable to move to the next thing? Again, back to that earlier example: meeting with a client. If you’re going to beat yourself up if you alter your perfect planned presentation, then don’t plan it so perfectly! Allow space and time for you to “riff” in a presentation and small talk with the client.

Figure out the goal that works – especially so you can dedicate the time you would worry about being perfect to other things that need to get done.

NOTE THE GOOD

When you do something that you aren’t tripping over your perfectionism with – and everything turns out ok – make note of that good situation! You don’t have to have a parade or anything like that, but you should take note of the positive. Next time you’re worried about something being perfect, refer to this noted good!

Winston-Salem Dash

An almost-tattooed man by the name of Tim walks into a record store. This isn’t the beginning of a joke, but a true story of one past Record Store Day spent camped out in front of Winston-Salem’s very own, Underdog Records. Record Store Day is an annual event in which exclusive, limited titles are sold worldwide to local record stores in hopes of driving traffic to smaller, independent shops, like Underdog Records. It’s first-come, first-serve. There are no online sales, no phone holdings, and a whole laundry list of other rules. The bottom line is that there’s great vinyl to purchase if you can be present.

And so, Tim, like many others, decided he would camp out in front of his favorite record store all night long in hopes of being one of the first in the door for this special sale.

The night was spent on the sidewalk in lawn chairs talking about music with old and new friends. Everything from concert stories, to debates about artists, to what the best item on the Record Store Day list truly was, to strategy for inside the store was a topic of conversation. And somewhere between these words and goofing off grew a camaraderie. Buzzed on the event’s energy, Tim and his camping “crue” stormed into the tattoo parlor across the street ready to put in ink what Record Store Day at Underdog means to them. The sentiment would have been a yellow adapter for 45 rpm records and written over it, the acronym

RSDC, Record Store Day Crue (Crue like Motley Crue.) Too bad the parlor didn’t take walk-ins, hence the almost tattooed man.

Tim is Tim Beeman, local podcaster and vinyl enthusiast, and he found himself, like many other regulars, caught up in the authenticity of Jonathan Hodges’ store, Underdog Records, and the strong friendships that he had built there. “It is a warm and welcoming place with a warm and welcoming owner,” Tim said. “Once you’re in that store, you’ll want to come back.” Jordan Willett had a similar story, with entirely different roots. She’s from Sanford, and is also a member of the almost-inked RSDC. When speaking about first discovering Underdog Records with her dad, Jordan was

pleasantly surprised about her visits to see Jonathan. “He was very appreciative of us being there. We told him we would definitely be coming back, and sure enough, the next couple of times I went back, he remembered me!” Jordan recalled. “It was just, ‘Hey—Jordan, right? So, you headed to Boone or back home?’ He just remembered.” R ecord Store Day or Tattoo Friendships? BY SAVANNAH NORRIS When asking Jordan about the energy of Record Store Day at Underdog, she described it like it was Christmas. “Everyone is so giddy and so excited while we’re camping out. And then the store opens up, we go in and get everything, and we come out, and everyone is just talking ‘Oh, what did you get?’ ‘Here, look at this,’” she said like children say it. “And everyone is so kind. They want to help you get what you came looking for—that find, that treasure. You see people helping other people.” Jordan and her dad make the drive, happily, to Winston from Sanford solely for Jonathan and his shop. That’s because Underdog Records is not just a participating store in Record Store Day. Jonathan, the owner, remembers everyone the way he remembered Jordan. He’s a huge baseball fan and runs a sale to celebrate when the Braves win. He buys donuts and coffee for people who have camped out for the event. He cares. Jonathan is your neighborhood record store, but he is also a good neighbor and a friend to everyone he meets. To anyone thinking about coming out to Underdog Records for Record Store Day this year, Jordan’s advice is to go and join everyone. “You’ll fall in love with the people. You’ll fall in love with Record Store Day. With Jonathan. With the area. There is nothing but love there. It’s not just a record store; it’s a community,” Jordan explained. And maybe, you don’t attempt to get a tattoo. But it’s likely you will find some friendships there on Burke Street. “Even if you’re not one of us weirdos that camps out all night,” Tim said, “if you love music and you love records, Underdog is the place to be.” This June 12th, the doors open at 8 a.m. for Underdog Record’s Record Store Day. But, you might want to show up a little early.

Retirement:

Understanding the Effects of Isolation and Loneliness on Seniors

BY JEAN MARIE JOHNSON

“Of all the experiences we need to survive and thrive, it is the experience of relating to others that is the most meaningful and important.” - Louis Cozolino, Ph. D

A little girl faces a window, holding up a handmade card for her elderly neighbor to see as they exchange distanced smiles through two layers of glass. An elderly man places a sign in his front yard: “Lonely, please help.” If you’ve watched any news or gone online in the past year, you’ve seen stories that poignantly capture the isolation and loneliness of seniors in our country. These tear-at-yourheartstrings images speak to the heartache of millions, including those our own community and neighborhoods.

As a culture, we have a challenge on our hands. A national survey conducted just before COVID 19 appeared on the universal radar indicated that 50% of baby boomers feel lonely. A few months later, another study found that 56% of older adults felt “isolated.” This is cause for alarm because that number had doubled in the span of just two years.

Social isolation is the physical state of being separated from other people. Loneliness is different; it is the feeling of being alone or separated – even if you are among others. Humans are social creatures; even the introverted amongst us need to experience connection with others. Louis Cozolino, professor of psychology at Pepperdine University explains. “How we bond and stay attached to others is at the core of our resilience, self-esteem, and physical health…We build the brains of our children through our interaction with them, and we keep our own brains growing and changing throughout life by staying connected to others.” EFFECTS OF ISOLATION & LONELINESS ON SENIORS

For seniors, recent studies confirm that the physical and mental health dangers of isolation and loneliness are significant.

Loneliness: • can lead to increases in blood pressure, obesity, heart disease, and stroke • contributes to stress, depression, anxiety, and suicide • is a risk factor for cognitive decline and increases the risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease

Isolation: • is associated with a 50% increased risk of dementia • contributes to unhealthy habits – smoking or drinking in excess and neglecting exercise • puts seniors at greater risk of elder abuse such as financial scams, neglect, and even physical abuse which seniors are often reluctant to report • significantly increases the risk of premature death from all causes HOPE & GOOD NEWS

While we are isolating for good reason during the pandemic, that isolation is clearly harming us. Here’s a ray of hope and good news: studies have shown that seniors who leave their homes on a daily basis lower their risk factors. This was true even for those who engaged in little physical activity or who experienced impaired mobility. The Administration on Aging has noted that even 15 minutes of real-time or virtual interaction a day can lessen feelings of loneliness. I am reminded of a recent, serendipitous conversation with a neighbor I rarely see. “When I asked my wife if we needed anything at the grocery store, she said ‘no.’ So I asked her again. If only to pick up a loaf of bread, I was looking for any reason to get out of the house.”

Getting out of the confines of one’s own home is a very good thing: it increases our sense of engagement as well as the chances of coming into socially-distanced contact with others.

Stay tuned for next month’s issue of Forsyth Woman where we will take a more detailed look at ways to conquer isolation and loneliness.