FW June 2021

June 2021

WFBH

Sixth Sense

health and wellness center

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DETOX

Piedmont Federal Savings Bank

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Introducing Vomor Hair and Lash extensions. Call us today to book a free consultation.

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Lyndhurst

Obstetric & Gynecologic Care | Bone Density CenteringPregnancy® | Infertility | In-Office Surgeries Mammography | Medical Spa | Women’s Health Physical Therapy Research | Ultrasound | Urogynecology

lyndhurstgyn.com 111 Hanestown Court, Suite 151 | Winston-Salem, NC 27103 | 336.765.9350 445 Pineview Drive, Suite 110 | Kernersville, NC 27284 | 336.993.4532 1908 Caudle Road, Suite 101 | Mt. Airy, NC 27030 | 336.789.9076 304 Mountainview Road | King, NC 27021 | 336.765.9350

We are in the Novant & Wake Forest Baptist Health Networks.

Best Asian Restaurant & Runners Up Sushi 2020

WEEKLY DRINK SPECIALS

HakkaChow

Tuesday all moscow mule cocktails $3 off Wednesday all mojito cocktails $3 off Thursday half price wine by the glass

Friday half price flavored sake by the glass Saturday bottled beer $1.50 off and draft beer $2 off Sunday mimosas and bloody marys $5

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More than 20 different Sake available.

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(336) 893-8178 | hakka-chow.com 615 Saint George Sq Ct | Winston-Salem, NC 27103 (Right off Hanes Mall Blvd. across from the Wynnsong 12 Movie Theater)

Monday Closed Tuesday -Thursday 11:30am - 9:30pm Friday 11:30am - 10pm Saturday 12pm - 10pm Sunday 12pm - 9pm

PUBLISHER Brooke Eagle Brooke@ForsythMags.com

The Publisher Perspective

EDITOR don’t know about y’all, but I love summertime. I grew up going to the lake most every weekend that the temperature was above 75 degrees and loved every second of it. I find that the typical anxieties of life tend to fade away when I’m on the water. Whether it be on a boat, a paddleboard, a surfboard, or just relaxing on a float… the water is my happy place. It must be genetics because the same can be said for my dad. Nothing makes my dad happier than being on a boat with his family (well, eating a piece of the coconut cake my Mamaw makes for him may come in at a close second).

I want to wish a very Happy Father’s Day to my dad (aka Teej), my Pop-Pop Charlie and to all the amazing fathers out there I have the pleasure of knowing. My dad and I have the same blue eyes, similar facial features and long legs. Want to know what I wish I had of his though? His patience.

That man gets more and more patient the older he gets. I love and respect him more than I could ever put into words. He has no idea how much he’s taught me about relationships and about marriage. No husband is perfect, but in my eyes, my dad sure comes pretty close! I love being able to witness the way he treats my mom day in and day out. They celebrated 37 years of marriage last month and you can see it in his eyes when he looks at her how much he loves and adores her. Our family has been through a lot, and we lean on him and his laid back, calming nature to keep us in line.

SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE Tamara Bodford

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Kristi Marion Heather Spivey

ADVERTISING Advertising @ForsythMags.com

EDITORIAL DIRECTOR Vonda Henderson

BACK OFFICE & VIRTUAL ASSISTANT The Office Nerd, Denise Heidel

COVER PHOTOGRAPHER

Speaking of my lack of patience, I have an interesting question for you.

JEJ Photos

If you had a warning label, what would it say?

I’ve been asking our team a new question each month and this month’s is one of my favorites so far.

Check out their (hilarious) warning label responses on page 108.

Mine?

CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS JEJ Photos Jodie Brim Photography Photo Artistry by Melinda

CONTENT EDITORS

WARNING: Becomes extremely impatient and irritable with lack of food or exercise.

On the cover this month, we’ve featured the team at Marzano Capital Group. The Marzano team has always felt like family to me and I can’t imagine entrusting anyone else with my financial future. Take a minute to read the cover story to learn more about this business founded on family principles.

We’re proud to present our first-ever Father’s Day gift guide in this issue! From custom cookies at Cherry Tree Lane Cookies to engraved whiskey glasses from Old Nick Williams Farm & Distillery—we’ve got you covered. Head to page 110 to find out where you can shop local for Father’s Day this year! Also new in this issue, a special page dedicated to some of the amazing businesses in the historic West End district (see page 22-23). Supporting small, local businesses is at the heart of our mission and we think this new addition does just that!

Finally -- I’m beyond thrilled to announce that Girls’ Night Out is BACK! We’re kicking off Girls’ Night Out on June 8th at Providence at the Manor House—learn more on page 31 and enjoy some photos of our past GNO events on page 30. Hope to see you there!

Wishing you a June full of all the happiness that summertime brings!

All my best, PHOTO BY JEJ PHOTOS

Keela Johnson Keela@ForsythMags.com

Brooke Eagle, Publisher

Kim Beane Meghan Corbett (Assistant)

SENIOR STAFF WRITERS Meghan Corbett Denise Heidel Carolyn Peterson

OTHER CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Jen Brown Genevieve Condon Karen Cooper Martie Emory Amy Hill Taryn Jerez Jean Marie Johnson Debbie Lanier Savannah Norris Tabatha Renegar Susan Schabacker Lauren Sephton Megan Taylor *others credited throughout accordingly

GRAPHIC DESIGN & PRODUCTION Emerson Designs

WEB DESIGN/ MAINTENANCE Nu | NuExpression.com

CONTACT ForsythWoman.com 888-892-3204

Forsyth Woman Disclaimer: Please note that the inclusion of stories and articles in Forsyth Woman magazine does not imply endorsement of products or people. The views of the authors are presented for information and entertainment only, and may not necessarily reflect the views of Forsyth Woman. Specifically, Forsyth Woman in no way endorses any claim associated with health and/or well being with respect to any particular person. We disclaim all warranties, express or implied, including, but not limited to, implied warranties of merchantability and fitness for a particular purpose. We will not be held responsible or liable, directly or indirectly, for any loss or damage that is caused or alleged to have been caused in connection with the use of, or reliance on, any content in this magazine. Forsyth Woman reserves the right to deny any advertisement or listing that does not meet Forsyth Woman standards. Submissions are welcome but unsolicited materials are not guaranteed to be returned. Forsyth Woman assumes no responsibility for information, products, services or statements made by advertisers or editorial contributors. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher is prohibited. ©2005 by Forsyth Woman, Inc.

BROOKE NOTES

C E L E B R AT I N G Y O U R TA L E N T S + P E R S O N A L B R A N D

Jodie Brim Owner

Jodie Brim Photography

www.jodiebrim.com | 336.997.9487 @jodiebrimphotography 405 N. Cherry Street, Suite 200 | Winston-Salem

@forsythmags

Influential 12 6TED Talks Night Out 31 Girls’ is BACK! Local at 42 Drink Old Nick Williams Farm & Distillery STORY 58 COVER Marzano Capital Group: Pivoting Through Partnership

62

What’s Your Apology Language?

18

for Hope: 94 Hungry Neighbors Helping Neighbors 10 Reasons You 106 Top Should Attend Tour de Boutique 2021 Day 110 Father’s Gift Guide

58

COVER STORY

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on 120 Women the Move

82

44

22

14 June 2021 | 11

“Ideas Worth Spreading” 6 Influential TED Talks

BY MEGAN TAYLOR

Since 1984, TED [Technology, Entertainment, Design] Conferences have been giving millions of people inspirational advice and information on a variety of topics.

Founded by Harry Marks and Richard Saul Wurman, the annual conference for technology and design has since evolved into a media organization that shares hundreds of free talks and speeches online. Now known as TED Talks, these speeches are given by humanitarians, educators, politicians, children, and many others on topics, such as technology, culture, entertainment, and design, to name a few. Each day, people from around the world continue to broaden their knowledge and be motivated by the videos. However, there are a few TED Talks that are mustsees and a great place to begin if you are interested in exploring the world of TED Talks. Let’s take a look at six influential TED Talks that have become some of the most watched due to their powerful messages.

“The Power of Vulnerability” – Brené Brown Researcher, professor, and podcast host Brené Brown is on the mission to spread the message that loving someone means being vulnerable and that courage is contagious. In her TED Talk, Brown shares just that.

In 20 short minutes, she connects with the audience through stories of human connection with the purpose of understanding humanity. Audience members will learn more about empathy, love, and belonging, all while seeing that being vulnerable can be a good thing at times.

“The Happy Secret to Better Work” – Shawn Achor Psychologist Shawn Achor discusses a hot topic in his video and goes against the myth that people must work hard in order to be happy. In fact, he suggests that we are thinking about the myth all wrong and that happiness actually drives our productivity. Maybe the quote “If you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life” has a great deal of meaning. Watch Achor’s TED Talk to find out.

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“10 Ways to Have a Better Conversation” – Celeste Headlee Sometimes people find themselves at a loss for the right words and don’t know what to say in certain conversations. Celeste Headlee understands just that. Through her work as a radio host, she has learned that many people don’t know how to hold a conversation. To help, Headlee states her 10 rules for having better conversations. For starters, she says “Go out, talk to people, and listen to people. And, most importantly, be prepared to be amazed.”

“A 12-Year-Old App Developer” – Thomas Suarez TED Talks are also available for children and teenagers. Twelve-year-old Thomas Suarez used his love for videogames to teach himself how to create games and apps. Now, he is inspiring other children to do the same. Interested in seeing what Suarez has created? Download the iPhone game “Bustin Jeiber” and have some fun.

“The Danger of a Single Story” – Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie “The Danger of a Single Story” is a personal favorite of mine. I show this talk to my students at the start of each school year. Based on Nigerian history and tragedies, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie tells audience members how our lives and cultures are all just interwoven stories. All stories from different cultures and backgrounds are important and need to have their stories told. In return, people should listen to as many stories as possible from all parts of the world, for if we only hear a single story about a person, country, or culture, we are doing a disservice to ourselves and jeopardize creating a misunderstanding.

“Underwater Astonishments” – David Gallo There are many wonders in the deep blue sea that have yet to be discovered. In five minutes, David Gallo introduces us to the works of ocean explorers Edith Widder and Roger Hanlon. Using vivid images as a backdrop, Gallo shares stories about the lives of unique sea creatures.

Based on the slogan “Ideas Worth Spreading,” TED Talks have been around of over a decade and continue to grow in interest and topics. A visit to the organization’s website, ted.com, will get you hooked and engaged on learning more about the world and those around you.

Lewisville Laser & Aesthetics

Keeping It Real A DECLARATION OVER MY CHILDREN

BY DR. DEBBIE LANIER, PHOTO BY JODIE BRIM PHOTOGRAPHY

The vibration from my phone startled my last minutes of night. As I tried to wipe the sleep from my eyes, I realized it was my son, Facetiming from Africa.

Many months before, Paul had embarked upon a year of full-time missionary work around the world. I hadn’t kissed his cheek or felt his arms around me in what seemed like forever; but seeing his smile on Facetime cured a thousand ills.

As sweat dripped from his brow, his eyes danced with delight. He couldn’t stop talking about the children to whom he had ministered that day. (My adult kids love kids!) The ecstasy of obedience emanated from his smile.

A few minutes later, as I sipped coffee and read the Scriptures, my daughter trudged down the stairs. I asked a question about Jewish history, and this “never-amorning-girl” lit up, talking a thousand words a minute. Her passion for God’s Word fueled my own.

I would love to tell you that my children have always loved the things of God this passionately, but it’s just not the case.

While they were SO MUCH BETTER than my husband and I were at their age (understatement of the year!), like every child, they both had to face the reality that second-hand faith is no faith at all. Walking through this life in step with the One who made us and calls us His own becomes a very personal decision that every human must ultimately make for themselves.

Ask most mamas the deepest desire of their hearts, and you’ll find that it’s not often about their own needs or aspirations.

What wakes parents in the night, what consumes much of their thought life and prayer life, is almost unanimously their concern for their children.

Some of you reading this may feel shame as you consider where your grown children are and how far they deviated from the Faith you hold so dear. Hear me! The enemy would LOVE for you to stop believing things can change. The one who seeks their destruction is counting on your weariness in order to silence your intercession.

Kingdom Mama, who will ever pray for your son or daughter like you? Who else will love them enough to believe in them beyond this season? If you stop, the enemy of their soul wins!

As you consider the present condition of your children, this Word below may seem preposterous. Declare it anyway! Pray this over them especially when it seems unreasonable.

Remember, you’re praying to the One who specializes in “impossible!” In God, what once seemed dead can live again! I stand with you and I believe with you, too!

Isaiah 54:13-14 (tPt) "All my children will be taught by Yahweh and great will be their peace and prosperity.

They will be established in righteousness.

Oppression — be far from them!

Fear — be far from them!

Yes, terror will not come near them, nor will they be afraid.”

Our children are our greatest joy, and greatest ache, too. At all times, they own a massive piece of our preoccupation.

So, every Christian mama most deeply longs to witness her children pursuing Faith for themselves.

For comments or prayer, contact Dr. Lanier at PastorDebbie@HopeCommunityChurch.tv.

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DON’T•LET•THEM•DEFINE•YOU!

BY GENEVIEVE CONDON

We often associate negative emotions with issues like poor health and stifling other avenues of our life like creativity and productivity, when in reality, there is much that can be said in a positive light about negative emotions.

In the moment, it can be challenging to see the positivity when faced with a challenge, especially those that take us by surprise.

Let’s say your best friend tells you that you won’t be able to accomplish your goal of finishing college because you lack drive and motivation. For some, the initial reaction is that of defeat.

Why would someone that is supposed to care about me say something so negative? While we see individuals succumb to the negative feelings that are a product of a relationship that can be deemed toxic, there can also be positivity. Studies have shown that negative emotions can produce outcomes. For instance, this individual mentioned above will still experience sadness and anger at her friend’s remark; however, the emotions could then be used to spark a drive that wasn’t present before: the drive to be successful in the face of negativity. After all, who doesn’t like to prove someone wrong?

Take me for example. At 19, I had my daughter. I was a straight-A student with a full college scholarship, and many people told me that college was now out of the question and I’d have to drop out to raise her. I was faced with many negative emotions, some that seemed to cripple my own self-confidence. How could I balance being a teenage mother, go to college and work? Despite these

thoughts, at the end of the day, those emotions fueled my desire to be successful. Initially, it was to prove everyone wrong. Then my lack of self-confidence transformed into a self-assurance and drive that was more than it was even before. Now, I am wrapping up my Ph.D. in Forensic Psychology. Out of my negative emotions, I became self-confident and successful.

It must also be said that creativity can be another product of negative emotions. Many artists, writers, and musicians create their best work when faced with negative emotions. Take Taylor Swift. Most of her songs have been written surrounding break-ups that sparked huge emotions. She is now extremely successful, all from taking something negative in her life and transforming it into something productive. She used her music as an outlet to work through her emotions and became a top-selling musician.

The point is that negative emotions can make a person more productive. While the way in which the negative emotions are handled have a lot to do with coping techniques that have been learned throughout life, it also comes down to the individual.

Be mindful of your emotions and know that negativity, while unpleasant, could help you in the end. Pick up a pen and write down how you feel. Lace-up your sneakers and hit the pavement.

Channel that negativity into something productive. Who knows, maybe you’ll write a hit song or paint a picture that dubs you the next Picasso. Struggle through the negativity and don’t let it define you. The outcome might surprise you.

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BY LAUREN SEPHTON Hi! I’m Lauren. I’m a college student, freelance writer, and foodie.

Stay tuned each month to find everything from achievable dessert ideas to healthy, quick dinners that’ll happily feed the family.

S’mores Brioche Knot (Made with Olive Oil)

INGREDIENTS

INSTRUCTIONS

For the dough: • 3 ½ cups all purpose flour • 1/2 tsp. salt • 1 tsp. ground cinnamon • 1 cup warm whole milk • 2 ¼ tsp. dried active yeast • 1 tbsp. sugar • 2 large eggs, room temperature • ¼ cup extra virgin olive oil

1. In a small bowl, whisk together the warm milk, sugar, and dried active yeast. Set aside for 5-10 minutes for the yeast to activate.

For the filling: • ¾ – 1 cup chocolate hazelnut spread • ½ cup graham crackers, semi-crushed • 1 cup mini marshmallows

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2. In the bowl of a stand mixer, mix together the flour, salt, and ground cinnamon. On medium low speed, add in the yeast mixture, olive oil, and eggs to knead for 2-3 minutes, then increase speed to medium for 3-4 more minutes, or until the dough is elastic and smooth.

3. Transfer the dough to a lightly oiled bowl, cover with plastic wrap, then set aside in a warm environment for 1-2 hours, or until doubled in size.

4. Preheat oven to 350F. Line a 9” baking pan with parchment paper.

5. Punch the dough down in the bowl, then on a lightly floured surface, roll it out to be approximately a 20” x 12” rectangle.

6. Evenly distribute the chocolate hazelnut spread, then the half crushed graham crackers, then the mini marshmallows.

7. Roll up the dough lengthwise (hotdog style).

Cut the rolled up dough into two long pieces.

Place the two brioche pieces face-side up, then twist together like a braid, then bring the two ends together to form a circle. Place in the prepared baking pan, cover, and set aside in a warm environment to rise for 20-30 more minutes.

8. Brush with an egg or olive oil wash, then bake for 30-40 minutes, or until golden brown. Allow it to cool for at least 10 minutes, then enjoy!

WHAT MOTIVATES YOU?

After selling my business of 27 years and semiretiring, I knew I wanted to do something that allowed me to work (on a part-time basis) and interact with and help others around me be healthier. Within a few years of beginning this “retired” phase, I experienced breast cancer and then unexpectedly lost my husband. Each of these events presented difficult challenges.

My faith, constant quest to learn, and commitment to the Lord motivates me to push through life and choose joy. Through both my accomplishments and challenges, I have grown stronger and more motivated to fulfil my purpose in life.

Beauty Counter

SUMMERTIME FAVORITES?

Time with my five grandkids. Sunshine. Iced Coffee. Porch reading. Hot pink Geraniums.

Hydrangea. Salads. Vacations. Garden-to-table meals. Fresh herbs. Walks. Long days.

I love them all! But if I have to pick a favorite it would most likely be the All Bright C Serum.

For many of my younger years, I spent too much unprotected time in the sun, suffering sunburn after sunburn that left my sensitive skin visibly damaged. In just a short time, Beautycounter’s Vitamin C Serum has brightened my face and reduced the visibility of my sun spots, making it one of my all-time favorite products. I invite you to text/email me to request free samples! As for other favorites, Countertime Mineral Boost Hydrating Essence and Countertime Ultra Renewal Eye Cream come in a close second. I’ve always been a makeup minimalist, but it’s easy to make a long list of favorites with so many excellent, clean choices. Beauty should be good for us!

JODIE BRIM PHOTOGRAPHY

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE BEAUTYCOUNTER PRODUCT?

DEBBIE KOONTZ

336-406-2328 | DEBBIEMKOONTZ@GMAIL.COM BEAUTYCOUNTER.COM/DEBBIEKOONTZ

Director

No Loss for Words: Conversation S tarters

BY JEAN MARIE JOHNSON

People often say that initiating a conversation – much less a friendship – can be hard work. Where do you start? For retirees launching a new chapter and those putting down roots in unfamiliar soil, the ability to initiate conversation matters because it is the pathway to new connections and new friendships. If you are a retired “senior citizen,” you might ask yourself, “How do I know if this is a potential friendship I’d like to pursue?” “What should I ask this person?” and, “Wait a minute, maybe that’s too personal.” Or maybe your mom is retired and you just want some tips on how to get a conversation going when her new friend comes by. You also wonder “Where do I start?”

BE OBSERVANT AND PAY ATTENTION Remember that, in general, people like to talk about themselves. Knowing that is good news, right? But of course there’s some nuance here. Our experience tells us that some older people enjoy reminiscing about the life they’ve lived while others are more reticent. Or, maybe they simply want to leave the past behind and focus on the present.

Take your cue from them; focus on being observant, and pay attention to their words and body language. Then, follow their lead.

MAKE IT MUTUAL “Conversation” means that the words and the sharing go both ways. Don’t be that

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person who fires endless questions and rarely divulges anything about herself.

Instead, whatever you are prepared to ask, be prepared to answer. For example, if you say, “I heard you’re new to the area. I’m also a ‘transplant.’ What brought you here?”

You may get a short and sweet response like, “The weather,” or, a full, rich paragraph about pursuing a retirement dream. The most fulfilling conversations feel reciprocal because they are. Find a point of connection – anything – and go with that.

REMEMBER THE POWER OF THE OPEN-ENDED QUESTION Consider: • Do you like living here? vs. What do you especially like about living here?

• Now that you’re retired, have you discovered anything you really enjoy doing? vs. What have you discovered that you really enjoy doing, now that you’re retired?

Open-ended questions generate rich conversation, a mutual give and take, instead of a hollow checklist of “Yes’s and No’s.”

WHAT TO TALK ABOUT? The person and the context will suggest the topics you introduce and the questions you ask. When my Book Club formed, only two of the members knew one another. And so, early on, we didn’t ask, “Have you always loved reading?” We asked, ”Where did your love of reading begin?” That question was

the springboard to storytelling and countless points of connection! When a mutual interest finds you conversing with a new person, explore that interest as your starting point.

Claire Samuels is a writer for “A Place for Mom,” an organization that advises on senior housing options. She suggests these topics and questions that seniors “never get sick of hearing”:

THEIR YOUTH • What do you remember about the place you grew up?

• What’s the weirdest fad you remember?

• What was your first job?

THEIR FAMILY • Do you know the history of your family name?

• What did you and your siblings do for fun?

• How did you meet your spouse?

GETTING OLDER • What are the most rewarding things about getting older?

• What are the most important lessons you’ve learned in your life?

• Who has influenced you the most?

THEIR VALUES • What are you the most proud of?

• What kinds of things make you the happiest now?

• How have your dreams and goals changed throughout your life?

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WHERE PASSION AND LOCAL CONVERGE

BY TABATHA RENEGAR

Do you find yourself driving through your neighborhood or nearby city thinking, “Boy, this town really needs a good _____________________” (fill in the blank)? Rob and McCall Richardson of Winston-Salem did, and then they took it a step further. They made it happen.

INTRODUCING SMOKE CITY MEATS.

BUILD IT AND HE WILL COME

Located in one of Winston-Salem’s most idyllic, historic neighborhoods, the West End, Smoke City Meats opened in May of 2020. And, even before the first cut of beef crossed the threshold, the words that epitomize their philosophy were painted on the brick: Local Butcher.

While the space was being renovated in late 2019, Lead Butcher Matt Pleasants happened to drive down Reynolda Road and see the words Local Butcher above the door. He dug around a little to find out who was behind the endeavor and then reached out to the Richardsons. And, now McCall Richardson calls Matt “the Unicorn” that they had been hoping for. With his gift for customer service and culinary background, Matt, a Winston-Salem native, recruited another gifted butcher, Clay McGuire, and the Smoke City Meats team was well underway.

Trust me, their use of the word “local” isn’t there to be trendy. It is intentional and has a level of commitment behind it that is awe-inspiring! For example: • All food items sold by Smoke City Meats are from North Carolina, most from within a 70-mile radius of the shop.

• They supply healthy, home-grown, organic, environmentally conscious and humanely sourced USDA-quality meats from farms that are all within 100 miles of the shop.

• Their to-die-for pimento cheese is made in-house, using all local ingredients.

• Seasonal greens are sourced from Fair Share Farm in Pfafftown.

• Need mushrooms and honey? Smoke City’s got ‘em fresh from Heritage Harvest Farms, nine miles up the road.

• Thirsty? Enjoy local kombucha and Foothills cold brew.

• A handcrafted, wooden cutting board from Brueggeman Werks makes a great gift.

• Or perhaps a restored and refurbished ax or hatchet?

• Even their T-shirts and branding artwork are locally sourced!

You get the idea; Smoke City Meats takes local to a whole new level!

According to Kate Bowers, Smoke City’s Director of Social Media, Marketing and Community Outreach, owners Rob and McCall took “a passion project and really turned into something amazing!”

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Naturally, plans for a big grand opening party in May 2020 were nixed, but the team agreed that moving forward was the right thing to do.

The community was in need of healthy, local meat and with more folks cooking at home than ever before, the timing was actually pretty darn perfect. As the light at the end of the pandemic tunnel grows more visible, Smoke City just grows busier and is looking ahead to more community involvement and partnerships.

Meet the Smoke City Meats crew at 833 Reynolda Road NW or online at www.smokecitymeats.com, facebook.com/smokecitymeats and instagram.com/ smokecitymeats.

Fiddle & Fig

Smoke City Meats

403 West End Blvd | W-S, NC @fiddleandfigmarket Tues - Sat 10am - 5pm

833 Reynolda Road Winston Salem, NC 27104 (336)310-0204 Hello@smokecitymeats.com @smokecitymeats

THE GENERAL STORE REIMAGINED

Yours Truly

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336.659.9100

835 REYNOLDA ROAD | W-S, NC Monday- Saturday 11am-5pm

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hair services • facials • chemical peels Hydrafacials • eye perks • lip perks lash extensions • brow lamination • waxing

Alkali Hair Salon

336-724-1453 | studioalkali.com 407 West End Blvd | Winston-Salem, NC

395 West End Blvd | W-S, NC Tues - Thurs 11-7 | Fri & Sat 10 - 7

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Lavender & Honey

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Random Acts of Kindness Bless everyone around you & watch what happens to your life!

BY KAREN COOPER

What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.

– Jane Goodall Why does performing a random act of kindness increase your level of happiness? It’s simply because being kind fosters gratitude. The kinder you are, the more grateful you become. It’s the most amazing cause and effect. When you choose to be kind to others, that feeling emphasizes your own good fortune.

Kindness encourages empathy and compassion, which then leads to a feeling of harmony with those around you. Sounds pretty good!

If you regularly perform random acts of kindness, it’s likely that you will continue. Happy people are inclined to be more generous and generosity makes them happier. Research has shown that being kind is beneficial in many ways including the following: • Helping you feel calmer and less depressed by causing your body to release serotonin • Decreasing pain by encouraging your body to generate endorphins • Increasing feelings of strength and self-worth • Lowering blood pressure and improving heart function • Increasing self-esteem and optimism

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Here are some Random Acts of Kindness you can carry out anytime: • Make a meal and take it to someone who is sick or too busy to cook for themselves.

• Send a thank you note (or email) to your child’s teacher thanking them for their hard work and support during virtual learning.

• Pay for someone’s order at the grocery store or drive-thru.

• Call someone you love just to tell them how much they mean to you.

• Hold the door open for someone.

• Walk a neighbor’s dog or invite him/her to the dog park.

• Buy a meal for someone in need.

• Tell a friend how wonderful their children are.

• Compliment a co-worker’s outfit or anything that makes him/her feel special.

• Donate canned goods to a local food pantry.

• Send a letter to someone you miss who would really love to receive it.

• Help out a neighbor with yardwork….one who could really use the help.

• Donate old clothes, household items or toys to a favorite charity.

• Volunteer at a mission or soup kitchen.

• Offer to help a frazzled mom or dad with cranky kids or just tell them to “hang in there.”

• Write a great review on a restaurant or store you love.

• Buy some pre-wrapped treats and deliver them to local healthcare workers (call ahead first to be sure this is allowed).

• Leave a note in your mailbox thanking your mail carrier for all their hard work.

• Give a big smile to people you see throughout the day.

• Put sticky notes with encouraging messages where your family members will find them.

• Leave a gift basket on a neighbor’s doorstep.

• Forgive someone even if they were wrong.

• Donate blood.

• Give a big hug to everyone in your immediate family or in your household.

• Write a note to someone you care about listing the top 10 reasons you love them.

• Write an encouraging note with sidewalk chalk outside a location that will brighten the day of people who see it.

• Send a care package of favorite items to someone you miss.

• Pick up trash around your neighborhood or a nearby park.

• Leave some spare change in a vending machine so the next person who uses it can get a treat free of charge.

• Donate or volunteer for a charity you care about.

The last year has been especially difficult for most of us and it is human nature to want to help make the lives of others a little easier and more cheerful. Even if we can’t solve the really difficult problems in the lives of those around us, small acts of kindness and showing that we care can make a big difference in a person’s life.

Kindness can become its own motive.

We are made kind by being kind.

– Eric Hoffer

Winston-Salem’s Best Kept Secret!

Home Decor | Artwork Custom Built Tables, Benches & Much More!

Barn on Country Club

336-661-8400 | thebarnoncountryclub.com 4886 Country Club Road Winston-Salem Closed Monday, Tuesday-Saturday 10am-6pm, Sunday 12-6pm

Calling All Women to the Board Room The new Senior Vice President and Director of Wealth Planning at Comerica Bank is not a man, but a fearless woman named Lisa Featherngill - wife, mother, accountant, and “builder.” Comerica Incorporated is a financial services company headquartered in Dallas, Texas, with almost 600 retail banking operations in several states and an emphasis on business banking.

Lisa is one of the rare 20% of women who are currently rising to leadership positions in the financial world of wealth management. She has spent over 35 years helping people make successful financial decisions, from retirement to taxes! In this maledominated industry, Lisa has spent much of the time being one of the few, if not the only, woman at the decision-making table. “I could count on one hand how many women were in the room and usually had some fingers to spare!”

Lisa describes herself as a builder and has a gift for planning. In her new role and in her past leadership roles, she builds work cultures that are collaborative, inclusive, and empowering for women. In a 2020 OP-ED for the Glass Hammer, Lisa explains, “I have made sure that my teams have flexible work schedules and resources available to them so they can do their best work while still managing their personal lives.

Ironically, working from home during the COVID-19 virus has shown other leaders that we can be effective with flexible work schedules and working from home.”

Lisa and her husband, Lance, apply flexibility and collaboration at home, too, as they raise their two sons and support their community.

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While accounting and finance may not be the first profession that comes to mind for many young women, they tend to be effective when it comes to wealth planning. In Lisa’s experience, women are empathetic, active listeners, and convey sincere, multidimensional advice that helps their clients reach their financial goals, whether in business or their personal lives. To move more women into leadership roles, women in finance would benefit from support from male colleagues who are educated about the challenges of moving into leadership as a woman. Aspiring female leaders could benefit from a male “sponsor” or mentor, as well as other female mentors. Lastly, Lisa feels that the work culture, which is typically slow to change, should become more collaborative. Exposure at an early age to examples of female leaders would also empower women to succeed in financial careers. As a young girl, Lisa learned about successful females from her mother, who, as a single mom to her and her brother, worked in the White House with Presidents Johnson and Nixon, despite not having a high school degree.

With a strong heritage (a combination of Jewish-Lithuanian immigrants – think Fiddler on the Roof- and Irish-Portuguese immigrants), Lisa was told at a young age that she could be anything she wanted to be which was not as common a message as it is today for girls.

Even though girls are entering into more diverse fields than in the past, Lisa still feels that it is important to encourage interest in financial responsibility and decision-making before college. Lisa is a member of the Davie Community Foundation and is involved in the development of educational modules that will provide curriculum focusing on financial planning to boys and girls in the public school system. This type of community engagement, along with programs like Junior Achievement, can create awareness of potential careers in finance and are important steps in building a leadership path for girls, according to Featherngill. Lisa leads a new team of highly credentialed financial planners which is 50% female! She continues to deconstruct the jungle gym that challenges female leadership and builds a ladder instead, right into the board room.

Budget Blinds

On the Road Again: Seven Days in South Dakota

BY AMY HILL

Ready to explore the Midwest? Perfect for history lovers of all ages, here’s how to spend seven days in South Dakota.

Day 1 - Rapid City Regional Airport (RAP) South Dakota often flies under the radar in terms of tourism in the United States.

While researching the state, I determined that it was best to fly in and out of Rapid City Regional Airport (RAP), since most of the state’s popular attractions are nearby.

A nonstop flight from Charlotte to Rapid City is just over 3.5 hours, leaving you with plenty of time to pick up your rental car, check in to your hotel room, and grab some groceries before eating dinner and resting up for the week ahead.

Day 2 - Mount Rushmore National Memorial Start your morning off with a latte or London Fog from Harriet & Oak, an eclectic coffee shop on Main Street in Rapid City offering its own version of scratch-made Pop-Tarts (the Nutella flavor is a local favorite). Once you’re fueled up and ready to go, head 30 minutes southwest to Mount Rushmore National Memorial to see the iconic sculpture of four former presidents carved into the side of a mountain. If you’re feeling extra patriotic, stop by the National Presidential Wax Museum on your way back to Rapid City for a lighthearted history lesson.

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Day 3 - Badlands National Park An hour east of Rapid City sits the stunning Badlands National Park, which is home to 244,000 acres of geologic formations, prairie grass, and wildlife. While there are a few hiking trails in the park, families can easily see the park from the comfort of their vehicle on the scenic Badlands Loop. If your rental car is AWD and you don’t mind a dusty dirt road, consider driving along Sheep Mountain Table Road if you have another hour or two to spare.

Day 4 - Custer State Park If driving through Badlands left you itching to hike, head half an hour south to Custer State Park to quench your hiking thirst. Be prepared to pay an entrance fee before hitting the trail. For a moderate day hike, Black Elk Peak Loop is seven miles round trip with an elevation gain of nearly 1,500 feet. Those looking for shorter and less strenuous hikes are likely to have better luck taking on the Cathedral Spires Trail (1.6 miles round trip) or the Little Devils Tower Spur Trail (3.5 miles round trip).

Day 5 - Wind Cave National Park & Crazy Horse Memorial Wind Cave National Park is small in size, but houses one of longest caves in the world.

Just under an hour south of Rapid City, visitors can take a guided tour of the cave and see countless wildlife. Visit Bison Flats for a chance to see bison and pronghorn antelope, along with elk at Boland Ridge.

History buffs should head to Black Hills to visit the Crazy Horse Memorial before returning to Rapid City for the afternoon. Take a look around the Indian Museum of North America and view the unfinished mountain carving of Crazy Horse, an Oglala Lakota warrior, first sculpted

by Korczak Ziolkowski in 1948. Entrance fees to the memorial benefit the Crazy Horse Memorial Foundation, a nonprofit organization devoted to protecting and preserving the culture and heritage of North American Indians.

Day 6 - Downtown Rapid City After nearly a week of presidents and prairie dogs, take a break from sightseeing to sit back and relax at one of Rapid City’s many watering holes. Black Hills Contraband Distillery is famous for its family-owned flavored liqueurs.

Feeling nostalgic? Mix up an adult-friendly root beer float with Contraband Root Beer Liqueur.

Next-door to the distillery sits Hay Camp Brewing Company, known as Rapid City’s first production brewery. Spend your final night in South Dakota sipping on the brewery’s Czech, Please Pilsner or the Dino-Sour sour ale before your head hits the pillow.

Day 7 - Heading Home Sadly, it’s time to pack your bags and check out of your little hotel on the prairie. RAP is a smaller airport with very few dining options.

If you have time to spare in the morning before your flight, consider stopping for a quick breakfast or coffee before catching your threehour flight back to Charlotte.

Brookridge Retirement

We’re so glad to be back!

Subscribe to our monthly newsletter at forsythwoman.com and stay tuned to @forsythmags on social media for updates on our monthly Girls’ Night Out events!

Enjoy these photos from some of our past fun-filled GNO’s.

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Providence

Your Brain in a Post-COVID World

BY JEAN MARIE JOHNSON

Imagine a world where… we’re back to school and back to work – in real time, visiting family and friends, attending sporting and cultural events, shopping in brick- and- mortar stores, and eating out with much-anticipated abandon.

It sounds a lot like the world we used to know, doesn’t it? And yet, here’s the thing: Our world will never revert to what it was and neither will we. A shared global experience as emotionally, physically, economically, culturally, and personally significant as COVID-19 has changed what we know, and in some ways who we are. “We’re not in Kansas anymore,” and clicking our heels won’t make it so. Many of us will face challenges such as: • Finding a new pattern and rhythm to daily life • Dealing with the loss of the positive changes brought on by isolation • Adapting to engaging with co-workers, neighbors, gym-pals, and strangers again • Grappling with the fear of a virus resurgence or another pandemic

THE ADAPTIVE HUMAN It’s normal to feel some anxiety or even trepidation about how we will fare in our post-COVID world. The Chair of the Department of Neuroscience at Carleton University, Dr. Kim Hellemans, studies the effects of stress on the brain and notes that, “There’s going to be a reverse culture shock when we enter society…we’re all going to get tired. It’s like a re-entry to face-to-face conversation. This adjustment will look different for everyone.”

For example, just as our introverted or extroverted tendencies influenced how we adapted to our COVID experience, the same will be true as we adapt to a post-pandemic reality. For extroverts who thrive on engagement and interaction, social distancing and the lockdown were keenly-felt. As restrictions lift, extroverts are likely to embrace “re-entry” with a sense of relief and enthusiasm. Introverts, who generally had an easier time working from home and social distancing, may find “re-entry” more challenging and will miss the longer spans of solitude they’ve become accustomed to.

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Dr. Irwin Redlener, who directs the pandemic resource and response initiative at Columbia University in New York City is abundantly-hopeful about the future. “It’s like we’ve all been through trauma now, and we’ve been through it together.” As a result, he thinks we will be able to relate to one another better.

At the same time, he cautions, “It’s going to be a long time before things return to whatever it is that we envision is normal.”

Dr. Hellemans is also optimistic. “The beautiful thing about us as a species is that we are highly adaptive and innovative. The brain is very plastic. It has a lot of processes built into it in order to continue to adapt to new environments.”

EASE BACK IN Keep these ideas in mind as you transition from your COVID-adapted life to an adapted-new normal: • Hold onto the positive habits you’ve adopted – many have discovered the joys of spending more time with the people in their own households, or the ability to spend precious time outdoors each day. Explore how you can hold onto whatever you learned to relish during the lockdown.

• Honor your proven resilience – remember that “You are stronger than you know.” Many of us came to believe this as we made do and carried on, discovering patience, fortitude, and compassion we may not have realized we had. Now that you know, trust it.

• Keep your heart open – be mindful of cutting yourself and others some slack. Each individual’s reentry challenges and blips will be unique. We learned a lot about appreciating others’ struggles during the pandemic.

Let’s not lose that.

Restoration Med Spa

How to Find Healing on Father’s Day

BY TARYN JEREZ

Whatever the circumstances are, know you are not alone if Father’s Day is a difficult holiday to endure. While the third Sunday in June is often spent honoring fatherhood, this day may bring about a slew of complicated emotions and memories for many.

Father’s Day may be stirring up big feelings surrounding grieving the loss of your own father, reliving the hardship of an absent, abusive, or incarcerated father, suffering the loss of a child or even the longing to see you or your partner become a father.

It’s important to remember that whatever feelings you may be facing are valid and you deserve to find your own moments of healing this Father’s Day.

IDENTIFY YOUR TRIGGERS When you are struggling with some of the things mentioned above, they are typically beneath the surface most days, but on a holiday where the focus is on fatherhood, it can become nearly impossible to ignore them. Taking time to really identify your triggers for falling too deeply into your emotions or being forced to concentrate on the things you aren’t ready to go through can be incredibly helpful. If you know that by going out to eat you’ll be bombarded with families that day, perhaps eat a nice home cooked meal instead or order in. If you know that sitting at church on Father’s Day Sunday is going to make you uncomfortable and overly emotional, maybe you tune in online instead or skip service that weekend.

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ALLOW YOURSELF TO GRIEVE Sometimes those big bottled up feelings need to come out, and it’s completely fine to give yourself permission to do just that. While it’s important to know what triggers you want to avoid, it’s just as important to allow yourself to be in spaces that you feel safe to sit with your emotions and mental load even if it’s heavy. Find people in your life that you trust to talk openly with about the things you are processing, whether it’s a loved one or a counselor. The worst thing you can do is feel guilty or selfish for needing to share your experiences around fatherhood and the unique perspective and grief you may be housing inside of you. Remember that it’s ok to be sad or even angry.

HIGHLIGHT THE POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPS IN YOUR LIFE No one person will ever replace the father you are missing but leaning into the positive relationships that you are surrounded by can have a very healing effect. Remind yourself that

you are not alone and take a few intentional moments to practice gratitude for the healthy male and female relationships you have. Think about the ones who you can count on beyond measure and the ones who have possibly even been there during the loss or heavy burdens you’ve experienced when it comes to your feelings around Father’s Day.

LET GO OF EXPECTATIONS Some years may hit harder than others. In fact, your own emotional threshold may surprise you where one Father’s Day you are stronger than you thought, while others feel like an unexpected punch to the gut. Don’t put expectations on yourself this Father’s Day and instead tell yourself that however you feel throughout the day is acceptable and what you need to express. Lean into whatever coping tools help you most, take your mind off things that you can, and do something just for you that day if you can, such as going for a walk at the park, eating a favorite meal, watching a movie that has great memories around it, etc.

Navigation at Home

Captivatingly Elegant.

Pick up any magazine and you are likely to see pillows on the front cover and throughout the magazine. Pillows are a quick way to update your living room, bedrooms, or even your outdoor living spaces.

When we make designer pillows, we use the best down forms available, because it really does make a difference how dense the pillow is. If someone is allergic, we use the poly fill forms.

We then carefully strategize our plan for each client’s home by choosing all the fabrics for each of the elements.

Start with the classic sofa fabrics and then the multitude of optional materials for the pillows, including size, welt, or no welt. If anyone knows us and comes into our store, we always have a vast array of pillows on our beds, chairs, and sofas. We are constantly exchanging them for new ones, too.

PHOTO COURTESY OF THIBAUT

JUNE DELUGAS LEADS AN AWARD WINNING DESIGN TEAM

We either make custom pillows or we purchase from designer fabric sources where the fabrics are unique. We are constantly sourcing because pillows can be the main source of accents in a home. We see everything imaginable. There are thousands of pillows displayed in a variety of showrooms when we go to multiple markets. Some of the prettiest fabric pillows we have seen were at the Atlanta antique market. Go figure, right? There was one ethnic group of antique fabrics that was out of this world!

I cannot wait to go back to Atlanta. It is also a shame to cut up the fabrics, but sometimes we make throws to savor the uniqueness of the fabrics. I have noticed some manufacturers are making the patterns I saw to duplicate the look. I like the original myself.

When something unique is found, it is not long before it catches on. It is amazing how that works.

You know you can express your personality with pillows; you can be bold, calm, or even casual. Create that pizzazz with a savvy pop of color…teal, orange, yellow, emerald, red, lime, black, coral, blue. Colorful prints with all the colors you prefer. For a truly custom look, you can have a photo of your pet hand-painted onto a silk pillow. For the store, we have a custom pillow featuring our mascot dog, Chewy. We have sold multiple pillows with hand painted pets just by using a photo reference from our clients. This past Christmas was such an occasion for a repeat customer.

Don’t be bored with your current style. Live with flair and add your favorite pillows to any room and update your space.

Call June DeLugas Interiors for help with selecting the correct ensemble of pillows for your home.

God Bless,

June

2018, 2017, 2016, 2016, 2013

PHOTO COURTESY OF LACEFIELD DESIGNS, WWW.LACEFIELDDESIGNS.COM

Sophisticated Color Palette. It is befitting.

June DeLugas Interiors

It All Begins with

Extraordinary Design TURNKEY REMODELING AND INTERIOR DESIGN! FROM START TO FINISH AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN! LIGHTING • FLOORING • FURNITURE • WINDOW TREATMENTS • AND MORE!

junedelugasinteriors.com North Carolina’s Premier Interior Design Firm | 2575 Old Glory Road, Clemmons | 336-778-1030

PHOTO BY JOHN GOLDEN

Support Local & Brighten Up Your Home this Summer with

THEODORE B. INTERIORS

After spending the majority of your time at home for the last year, it’s only natural to find yourself craving a major change. As summer approaches and the end of the pandemic is in sight, it’s time to give your living quarters a new look and put dreary quarantine memories to rest. Want to give your home a makeover but not sure where to start? Located on Burke Street, Theodore B. Interiors is a brand new full-service interior design studio and home decor shop in Winston-Salem that is here to ensure you feel re-energized and inspired within the walls of your revamped home.

PHOTO BY JOHN GOLDEN

What does “full-service” mean when it comes to an interior design firm? The team at Theodore B. Interiors manages every aspect of a design project from start to finish to relieve clients of any and all stress. The team works with architects, contractors, and electricians, and also assists with furniture selection and installation, which are some of the most difficult aspects of home makeovers.

Additionally, Theodore B. Interiors sells accessories, wall coverings, drapes, and small home decor items inside its shop. If you’re new to interior design and architecture, the Theodore B. Interiors team is knowledgeable about new construction and remodels so that you don’t have to be.

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Owner Isabella Migliarese chose Burke Street as her design firm’s location due to its proximity to other local businesses also owned by young female business owners. She wanted to find a spot for her shop that provided her and her team with a neighborhood feel but in an up-and-coming location such as West End Winston-Salem.

With the name of her business being inspired by her father, Theodore “Teddy” Migliarese, Isabella fell in love with interior design as a little girl. Some of her fondest memories include accompanying her father, a contractor and owner of commercial and residential properties, to job sites and witnessing the properties’ construction and design transformations. Not only did her father instill in her a passion for home design, but his entrepreneurship was also a trait that Isabella inherited. From a young age, Isabella knew that opening a business as a recent college graduate carried no shortage of risks, but the possibility of failure did not deter her from chasing her dream. While learning how to properly run a business and becoming an expert in the tax and insurance side of entrepreneurship was challenging, Isabella found that being a woman immersed in the male-dominated architecture industry carried its own set of obstacles. As a young female business owner, Isabella sometimes feels as if she has to work harder to be taken seriously by male architects and contractors.

As a Winston-Salem native, Isabella Migliarese joined UNCG’s Interior Architecture program after graduating from R.J. Reynolds High School. Throughout her time in the program, she joined a small student design team where she helped design a room in the Julian Price Showhouse that was later featured in Southern Home magazine. Additionally, she met her best friend and business partner, Tyson Howlett, in the design program and was able to strengthen her passion for design and architecture.

PHOTO BY JOEL SARVIS

BY AMY HILL

Tyson Howlett (L) Isabella Migliarese (R) Isabella met her design partner, Tyson, at the UNCG Interior Architecture Program By utilizing social media and attending markets such as High Point Market and Atlanta Market, Isabella and her team stay up to date on upcoming design trends.

Surprisingly, wallpaper seems to be making a comeback, and popular home color schemes include white, black, and neutrals.

As for Isabella’s personal style and dream home? She dreams of owning a Cape Cod or cottage-style home in the country with a slightly edgy exterior.

According to Isabella, transforming your living space doesn’t necessarily mean adding more “things.” In fact, less can be more.

While the concept of minimalism has gained popularity over the last few years, simplifying your space doesn’t require your space to be cold or bland. For those looking to minimize in style, Isabella suggests keeping color tones warm and inviting, adding texture with rugs or wall coverings, and selecting accessories or art pieces that create a “wow” factor in order to keep your de-cluttered house feeling like a home.

Ready to recruit the Theodore B. Interiors team for your home project?

Check out the team’s Facebook page or visit theodorebinteriors.com for more information. Follow @theodoreb.interiors on Instagram to stay updated on the latest news from Isabella and her team, or email info@theodorebinteriors.com for any additional questions.

BY V PHOTO

INES S

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Wood & Thread

1031 Burke St Winston-Salem NC 27101 FULL SERVICE INTERIOR DESIGN @theodoreb.interiors info@theodorebinteriors.com

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June 2021 | 39

Sound Intuition: Part 1 A “Must Add ” to Your Self Care Plan BY TABATHA RENEGAR

What do the Peruvian Jungle and WinstonSalem have in common?

Both are places where you can have an experience with sound that you might find life changing. Just ask John Shanton Wilcox. John is a Sound Intuitive who has called Winston-Salem home for 22 years.

John offers open-minded individuals the opportunity to allow sound into their beings in a whole new way.

When I asked John to explain what it means to be a Sound Intuitive, he said “I get out of the way and allow the energy of the person or group to flow through me and inspire the sounds that are produced.”

Naturally, I wanted to know how sound came into his life in this unique and, frankly, mystical way.

“In 2001 I was on a 10-day retreat in the Amazonian jungle, experiencing ayahuasca every other day. In the first session, I was advised to set an intention and mine was ‘what should I be doing to serve my community?’ and the answer came: I should do what the ayahuasca shaman was doing for me but without the ayahuasca.”

(Ayahuasca is a South American psychoactive brew used as a traditional spiritual medicine in ceremonies among the indigenous peoples of the Amazon basin.)

The term guided meditation has become familiar to most of us and what John wanted was to be able to guide a meditative journey using sound. He had been collecting sound instruments for years and it was time to put them to use! During John’s last session with ayahuasca in the jungle he asked “Who am I to be going out into the world, with no formal training, and working with sound to help people?” Ayahuasca made it clear that he had been in training for years, since the day in 1994 when he walked the Inca Trail into Machu Picchu.

Back in NC after the 2001 trip to Peru, a friend who was helping clients by practicing Myofascial release asked John if he would be interested in collaborating to bring sound into the healing sessions she offered. MFR, self-myofascial release, is an alternative medicine therapy claimed to be useful for treating skeletal muscle immobility and pain by relaxing contracted muscles.

John packed up his instruments - a collection that is now comprised of over 70 instruments – and realized immediately that he was doing the right thing! By working with patients and sound, he learned to listen to his intuition and, although it took some time, he has learned to trust that what he is feeling is what needs to be done.

So, what is done exactly?

When I participated in a sound experience called Primal Sound, myself and three other friends arrived to John’s sound studio in Ardmore wearing comfy clothes and carrying our yoga mats. We were welcomed warmly and entered the sound space where

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the lighting was low, incense and candles burned and soft, hypnotic music played softly as we settled in.

We hydrated and got comfortable on our mats, some with pillows, blankets and eye covers, others stretched out languidly.

John explained that he would begin to play his instruments near and around us, in no particular order and with no set melody in mind. He explained that as our energy combined with his intuitive nature, he might be inclined to make sound with his voice but it wouldn’t be singing. John said we might go inward and get answers or we might just relax and get out of our minds for a little while. We were all intrigued and ready to begin our experience.

Now, at this point, I could announce “spoiler alert” and tell you what the next 45 minutes or so was like for myself and my intrepid galpals. But I won’t. Instead, I will tell you that it was unlike any yoga class, massage session or meditation I have ever experienced and it left all of us hoping to experience it again.

It was unique for each of us even though we were all in the same room, hearing the same sounds being made by John and his instruments. And yet, we each felt the sound in a way that was unique to us which made it simply, magical.

You might never hike through the Peruvian Amazon with an ayahuascan shaman but you can take a journey unlike any other, right here in Winston-Salem.

For more information or to schedule your own Primal Sound session, email JohnShantonWilcox@gmail.com.

Fraleigh’s Boutique

Ladies Night Out

Thursday June 10th from 4PM to 7PM. A Portion of the Proceeds from that evening will be donated to The Dragonfly House.

3 3 6 - 7 6 6 -74 4 0 | F r a l e i g h s B o u t i q u e N C . c o m

MONDAY-FRIDAY 10AM-5PM | SATURDAY 10AM-4PM | 2626 LEWISVILLE-CLEMMONS RD. CLEMMONS, NC 27012

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Drink Local with Zeb and Matt Williams at Old Nick Williams Farm & Distillery

BY AMY HILL

impossible to choose only one.

Owned by the Williams family, Old Nick Williams Farm & Distillery has overcome centuries of bumps in the road as a producer of various liquors.

From the Revolutionary War to prohibition laws, the Williams family is no stranger to obstacles. When the COVID-19 pandemic hit in early 2020, owners Zeb and Matt Williams were well-equipped to continue fighting for their family’s passion.

While breweries and wineries are plentiful throughout the Triad area, distilleries are a bit harder to come by – especially a family-owned distillery with centuries of history tied to its name. Nestled on 40 acres of farmland on Williams Road, Old Nick Williams Farm & Distillery offers Lewisville residents a lively venue for a cocktail on a Saturday night, as well as a family-friendly spot to toss a football on a Sunday afternoon.

If you’re visiting Old Nick Williams (ONW) Distillery from the WinstonSalem area, be sure to organize a designated driver or Uber ride, as the selection of spirits and cocktails sold at ONW is vast – making it

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In fact, according to co-owner Zeb, the temporary pandemic-induced shutdown of the distillery was a blessing in disguise. With centuries of experience in producing liquor, Zeb and Matt switched gears and began producing hand sanitizer, donating their newfound products to medical groups, first responders, and police officers. Soon enough, the Williams cousins’ ingenuity turned profitable, allowing them to build a 4,500 square-foot outdoor patio overlooking a large stage for live music.

After the distillery’s tasting room was doubled in size with the help of the Discovery Channel, the tasting

room was then transformed into a historical museum. The distillery’s most recent addition, the Busted Barrel Cocktail Bar, is the perfect spot to enjoy live music on the weekends while taking back cocktails crafted with ONW spirits. When I perused the bar’s cocktail menu, I was elated to see that mojitos and caipirinhas are offered, with the mojito being made with unique Jamerican White Rum – one of ONW’s specialties.

Zeb made it his personal venture to study and perfect the craft of creating an American rum at the distillery, inspired by rums produced in Jamaica (hence the clever name “Jamerican”). Cocktails made with Jamerican rum can even be upgraded to “overproof” cocktails, which are exceptionally strong and made with 2-ounce pours of 126-proof rum. As a fair warning, overproof drinks at the Busted Barrel are not to be taken lightly – or in large quantities.

A more classic cocktail, the old fashioned, can be found in almost any bar, but no variation of an old fashioned will compare to the ONW Old Fashioned. After all, bourbon is ONW’s flagship liquor and is made with a 250-year-old family recipe utilizing NC-grown grains.

As one of the cocktail bar’s most popular cocktails, bourbon-lovers will delight in tasting one of the best old fashioned cocktails they have ever ordered. Although Zeb loves the ONW Old Fashioned, he highly recommends the Blueberry Smash, a combination of ONW Bourbon, blueberries, lemon, and club soda.

In addition to rum and bourbon, Zeb also raved about the recently released ONW Marci’s Tears Vodka, infused with ghost peppers and

added to Busted Barrel cocktails to add a bit of a kick and spice up the night.

Interested in taking a tour of the distillery? Tours operate Monday through Saturday at only 10 dollars per person and include a self-guided historical tour, lessons on how products are bottled and made, a tasting of up to four ONW spirits, and a complimentary shot glass. As vaccinations throughout the country ramp up and restrictions loosen, the ONW Distillery and Busted Barrel Cocktail Bar are serving up brand new products and craft cocktails, just in the “Nick” of time for summer.

To book a tour, browse ONW products, and read more about the Williams family history, visit oldnickwhiskey.com. Keep up with the latest updates from Old Nick Whiskey on Facebook, and follow ONW on Instagram at @oldnickwhiskey to see announcements regarding live events, food trucks, and new products. For any other information, call 336-946-1012 or email info@oldnickwhiskey.com.

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June 2021 | 43

ALYSON ROREM OF WWW.JASPERANDFERN.COM

BY TARYN JEREZ

This month’s featured artist, Mona King, reminds us of the importance that nature plays in our humanity and wellness. With an eye for color, texture, and dimension, she transforms spaces through artistic expression and environmental interest allowing her clients to bring life into the places they work and dwell.

to allow my mind to get to where I need to create and put myself in the mindset for a specific artistic expression. Empathy and listening to the needs of my clients is critical in the design process.

Mona King | Mona + Associates Design, LLC

How have you evolved as an artist? I really embrace adding different elements and dimensions to my work: paint, stones, wood, moss and more. I combine elements that add nature and a sense of calm in my customers’ lives. It doesn’t have to be large installations making a big impact, I create small works such as a 6 x 6 inch frame that can capture what I want someone to feel.

How do you describe your work?

We are a multi-discipline Interior Architecture + Environment Design collaborative focused on human-centered design. We cultivate commercial or residential environments by utilizing interior architecture, creative consulting, and Living walls based on Biophilic design principles. We bring life to your environment by design.

What influences your work most?

Different textures are captivating; the honeycomb of a bee hive, the bark on a tree, and patterns of nature, we are drawn to it. We’re naturally intrigued by nature as human beings. I grew up surrounded by the lakes, dunes and parks of Indiana. My father played golf to relax and have us go on picnics and retrieve the practice balls, and as a result I enjoyed spending time in a natural environment. In college when I would feel stressed, I would sit in a greenhouse and draw; it allowed me to be comforted and encompassed by calmness.

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Why does nature play such a vital role in your work? Nature is a necessary design function that goes beyond art. Emotionally, creative art can enhance your space but also your life. There are many benefits to art and nature for human beings and my work combines the two. First line responders need somewhere to relax from the chaos and stress of the hospital. If a room has a setting with an environment of Biophilic attributes and aesthetics you are able to see their blood pressure go down from mild scents, images and nature inspired art in the room, including natural daylight, etc.

Data shows people need natural elements in their space to perform better. You have to bring the natural environment into your space!

How do you carve out time and space as an artist? There are days I have to blank everything out that is technology based. I can spend 5-6 hours some days just creating my Living Aura art. I have to pause from the other parts of my business

What are you working on that excites you right now? I am partnering with several Forsyth County organizations to raise funds and design the Feeling Friends Island at Kimberley Park Elementary – a nature-inspired social and emotional playground and Outdoor Learning Center designed for achieving Equitable Play for Equitable Health for the students at Kimberley Park Elementary School. We are creating a space that inspires children to spend more time in nature while helping them build their social and emotional skills required to build a more productive life. Educating children in nature improves self confidence, problem solving, social skills and much more.

What is one piece of advice you’d like to share with fellow artists?

Art is a business, it combines analytical thinking, financial management and creative skills.

Whatever you do, your passion needs to show. Your skills, ability and innovation should be in every piece you develop. We all want commissions but they need to reflect who you are and your value as an artist. Never produce art only for the sake of being paid, it needs to go beyond that. You can create a commission request, however don’t take the creativity out of it, enhance it by creating something from the heart and know your value. That’s truly how I feel about creating and the business of design.

If you are interested in learning more about the artist, Mona King, you can visit her websites monaassociates. com and LivingAura.Design.

You may also see her work up close by visiting her online store monaassocdesign.store.

Living Aura art and products are located at the Historic Lewisville Roller Mill, ongoing exhibitions and commissions. The Winston-Salem public art commission has recently awarded Mona a sculpture design contract. It will be installed early 2022 in the downtown area at 4th and Spruce Street.

A monthly column that keeps its finger on the pulse of Forsyth’s artists and their inspiring stories!

Second Harvest Food Bank

D OU B L E T H E B E AU T I F U L R E SU LT S

BY MARTIE EMORY, PHOTOS BY JEJ PHOTOS

Sometimes it really does “take two” to see the best results – the perfect mate, the perfect wine with dinner – and even in the world of aesthetics, two can be the magic number! Surgical procedures and spa treatments can often go hand-in-hand to produce a more long lasting and enhanced result, and both injectables and noninvasive face and body treatments can complement a patient’s previous surgery experience.

Building on its long-time success in Winston-Salem, and led by Dr. Scott Tucker and Dr. Hampton Howell, Salem Plastic Surgery recently added a new space to its practice – Renewal Med Spa – designed with equal parts warm, intimate atmosphere, and a range of medical-grade, spa-type treatments. The Med Spa staff has been an exciting asset to the office, says Practice Manager Lisa Wood, introducing the spa staff of Joy Goins, RN, Nurse Injector, and Alejandra Santos, RN, Nurse Injector, both skilled at fillers and Botox®, Jade Simmons, RN, Aesthetic Nurse, and Meredith Luke, Licensed Aesthetician, who perform all other spa services. Joy, Alejandra, and Jade are nurses on the surgical side as well.

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“The nurses and aesthetician have the added benefit of first-hand experience with the anatomy of the face and body, which helps them determine the best treatments for patients that can be combined with surgery,” says Lisa, sharing the staff’s expert advice when it comes to “pairings” within Salem Plastic Surgery that can truly enhance your life. Now is the perfect time to consider how specific spa treatments offer the optimum follow-up to surgical procedures!

1. Pairing a face lift with a healthful skincare and makeup routine post-surgery will actually help make the most of your final outcome. Facial highlights can be achieved by contouring with makeup, enhancing the natural contours and beauty your face lift provided. Good makeup and skincare also provide protection against sun and pollution, and Salem Plastic Surgery has staff who can assist with regimens for both. With the right makeup, you can feel confident you are doing the most to achieve the best possible results!

2. If you’ve been the lucky recipient of a “mommy makeover” then your perfect pairing – after sufficient healing, of course – could be with Emsculpt. The “makeover” may include a combination of surgeries involving an abdominoplasty, some form of liposuction, and a breast procedure involving a certain amount of downtime. After healing, you might consider Emsculpt, since it manipulates and contracts muscle to provide even further tightening and toning. Surgery in one area often accentuates other areas of the body that may need some attention, such as arms, thighs, and buttocks. This can be true for the abdomen after undergoing a breast reduction, lift or augment, since those can actually make the patient more aware of what was “under there.”

Emsculpt can be another step towards a more noticeable and even result.

3. Patients who undergo a blepharoplasty (eyelid surgery) to remove excess skin and/or fat may want to consider IPL laser to improve the surrounding texture and coloration of the skin. Having surgery of the face sometimes makes one aware of other issues, such as uneven skin tone, blemishes, and sun damage. IPL is a non-invasive way to address those issues and can be repeated as needed.

This may delay the desire or need for a face lift, or further enhance your results – and good skin after surgery will also keep the benefits coming!

Salem Plastic Surgery encourages all its patients to shy away from a “one and done” mindset when it comes to aesthetic enhancements, but instead focus on the positive approach of making the most of what they have done, with a goal of being even happier with their long-term results!

Conveniently located at 1345A Westgate Center Drive in WinstonSalem, you can reach the office of Salem Plastic Surgery at 336-768-8483 and learn more about their services at salemplasticsurgery.com.

“She is Clothed with Strength & Dignity.”

BY TABATHA RENEGAR

Webster’s Dictionary describes ‘a calling’ as: a strong urge toward a particular way of life or career; a vocation. Most of us think of the priesthood, nurses, or teachers when we hear that expression. However, for one passionate Davie County woman, her calling comes in the form of kimonos, jeans, and accessories.

Since October of 2019, Suzanne Lakey, along with her husband Bryan, have owned and operated the Southern Ties Boutique in downtown Mocksville. Before purchasing the business, formerly located in Farmington, Suzanne’s path in life involved photography, marketing, sales, and motherhood. You could even say that her love for clothing retail started as a teenager when she worked in her mom Kathy Miller’s clothing store!

Next up was online clothing sales, which she jumped into in 2017 and enjoyed as it grew her interest in fashion. However, Suzanne recognized that she was missing a crucial piece of the interaction, which her heart yearned for: seeing customers, face to face. “I knew something had to change but I wasn’t sure what,” says Suzanne when speaking of her transition to boutique ownership.

Suzanne, a busy mother to four girls between the ages of 16 and 6, said that she looked at Facebook one afternoon while waiting in the carpool line and there it was! She saw a post announcing the closing of the Southern Ties Boutique in Farmington. Although Suzanne and her mom once had a photography studio in the same building where the shop was at that time, she had never visited the Boutique and so seeing such a random post could have only been a “God thing.”

Her first call was to her husband, Bryan, who encouraged her to call the owner to see if a purchase of the business might be an option. With his blessing and a feeling about it that she just couldn’t shake, Suzanne mustered up the courage and called the owner of the Boutique and asked about the possibility of buying it. That woman’s reaction?

“I have been praying for this phone call… I have been praying for you.” A few more calls and some paperwork later, and Suzanne and Bryan found themselves the new owners of Southern Ties Boutique – just a few short and fast weeks after that fateful day when Suzanne looked at Facebook!

As the new owner, Suzanne enjoyed her first year in business in the charming Farmington building that housed Southern Ties Boutique. However, as owners of The Station General Store and Taproom on North Main Street in Mocksville, they really liked the idea of adding another business to Mocksville’s vibrant downtown and having their two businesses near one another. Another unexpected conversation led them to find their current location at 157 N. Main Street. As Suzanne puts it “every door opened.”

As she prepares for a busy summer season, Suzanne credits her amazing customers and the feeling of true community that Mocksville has to offer with the success of Southern Ties Boutique.

Her energetic and customer-oriented team is a big part of that, too! Pop into the Boutique to meet who she calls her “So Ties Gals” Crystal, Olivia, and Carly.

“It’s very important to me to keep the feel of a small town boutique alive,” says Suzanne when she talks about the terrific response they have had to their online shopping presence. While she does want to grow that presence, serving people face to face is where the real magic of Southern Ties Boutique is.

“I know that I was meant to do this…

I love dressing people from head to toe and seeing them feel confident and beautiful! We carry each piece in all sizes, from small to 3X because beautiful comes in all sizes and we want there to be something for everyone.”

Suzanne is a joyful presence who exudes a sincere passion for what she does. She is not only a fabulous example of what can happen when you follow your heart, but she is also setting a stellar example for her four daughters of how a hard working mom can share her gifts while still finding fulfillment.

Make a plan to visit Southern Ties Boutique (and all the great shops in Mocksville) at 157 North Main Street, Suite 100, and online at southerntiesboutique.com.

For some real fun, download the Southern Ties Boutique App on your phone!

casual style sizes S-3X

Southern Ties

157 N Main St. Suite 100 | Downtown Mocksville

www.southerntiesboutique.com June 2021 | 49

Hawthorne Obstetrics & Gynecology: New Location, Same Quality Care

BY AMY HILL

With the COVID-19 pandemic taking a physical, financial, and emotional toll on families throughout the world, there’s no better time to make your health a top priority. In fact, stress over the last year has negatively impacted women’s fertility in terms of menstrual and sleep abnormalities. Many women dread scheduling their annual pelvic exams and mammograms, but seeking routine reproductive health care is imperative in preventing disease and catching problems early on. Although showing up for your annual exam can be scary, being treated by empathetic physicians who genuinely care about their patients’ lives and wellbeing makes the process much more enjoyable. Physicians at Hawthorne Obstetrics & Gynecology

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balance thoroughly treating their patients with maintaining a family-like atmosphere that keeps them coming back, generation after generation.

Now practicing in a new location on Country Club Road, Hawthorne Obstetrics & Gynecology is conveniently and centrally located for patients throughout the Triad. Although the practice’s building has drastically changed, its motives have remained the same. While large practices may be intimidating for some patients seeking reproductive care, Hawthorne Obstetrics & Gynecology is a happy medium for patients who desire a professional practice utilizing stateof-the-art technology without losing its close-knit, personal atmosphere. Topnotch nurses at Hawthorne Obstetrics

& Gynecology are well-versed in easing patients’ fears and alleviating any anxieties they may have. While many OBGYN practices only have one nurse on staff, Hawthorne utilizes two nurses per provider to ensure that doctors have plenty of time to spend with their patients.

Hawthorne OBGYN physicians serve the community at North Carolina Baptist Hospital and Novant Health Forsyth Medical Center, with the practice being listed on the employee health benefits preferred provider list at both facilities.

In 1983, Dr. Richard E. Hedrick, Jr. began his solo practice in obstetrics and gynecology, and gradually added board-certified physicians, physician’s assistants, nurses, sonographers, and support staff over the years. The providers

at Hawthorne Obstetrics & Gynecology continue to provide patients with high-quality, personalized care. Doctor Kerri R. Scherer, who has been treating patients at Hawthorne Obstetrics & Gynecology since 2003, was driven to enter the field of obstetrics and gynecology when she realized the impact she could have on women during key moments of their lives.

“This is a very privileged job to have,” explains Dr. Scherer. “I have the blessing of being present with women during happy times such as pregnancy and labor, but also during difficult times such as miscarriages and cancer diagnoses.

I love my job as an obstetrician because I am able to follow my patients throughout various stages of their lives.”

The Hawthorne Obstetrics & Gynecology staff delights in the joy that accompanies families along the journey of pregnancy and delivery. They will help keep a baby’s gender a secret and help in notifying the patient’s family at a patient’s request. With COVID-19 limiting family and visitors both during prenatal care and labor and delivery, providers have supported utilizing multiple electronic devices during ultrasounds, labor, and birth in order for patients to FaceTime family members and virtually include them in these special moments. At this time, Hawthorne Obstetrics & Gynecology is allowing one guest and children with the patient.

Patients at Hawthorne Obstetrics & Gynecology benefit from various services offered, such as 3D digital mammography, state-of-the-art ultrasound technology, and full laboratory services. Additionally, genetic testing for prenatal diagnoses is offered at the practice and gives patients insight into any possible predispositions to high-risk pregnancies and cancers. Home to five doctors, two mid-level physicians, nursing coordinators, and diabetes counselors, Hawthorne patients never have to wonder whether they would receive higher quality care elsewhere.

Ready to schedule an appointment with Hawthorne Obstetrics & Gynecology? Call 336-768-3632 to speak with a staff member. Visit the practice’s website at hawthorneobgyn.com to access the patient portal, read more information on the Hawthorne OBGYN team, and to see location hours and directions.

June 2021 | 51

Hold Fast to Identity

BY JEAN MARIE JOHNSON

Some years ago, my husband’s Uncle Ray had a heart bypass operation. That “robust Ray” needed surgery at all came as quite a surprise to his wife, Belle, who swore that her husband of many years had the strength and energy of men half his age. After Ray’s official retirement from “a company job,” he’d joined Belle in her antiques business spending much of his time hauling his “finds” and then spending many late evenings restoring these great old pieces to their former glory. That was Ray: always seeing and cultivating the hidden potential in things.

So, when Ray’s operation didn’t go exactly as planned, and left him without speech or the use of his limbs, Belle’s life changed dramatically. After closing the shop each evening, Belle drove to the convalescent home to feed Ray and to sit with him as he stared at baseball on the TV, attempting to communicate with her.

One evening, long after baseball season had ended, Belle took a stroll down the hall as an aide was attending to the personal needs of Ray’s roommate.

As she passed the doorway of each identical room, she noticed that the last name of each patient was posted at the entrance: Smith, Jenkins, Polansky, and so on. The anonymity of these stark surnames struck Belle as an injustice to the human behind the name. After all, one had to assume that like Ray, each Smith, Jenkins, and Polansky had an identity consisting of memories and experiences, joys, sorrows, relationships, and accomplishments—not to mention personal quirks and idiosyncrasies.

And so, Belle marched down to the Head Nurse’s office and made a bold statement. She said, “My Ray may be just another patient to you, a heart operation gone wrong, but my Ray IS A LEADER OF MEN AND AN ENTREPRENEUR.” She went on to tell the befuddled nurse about Ray’s background as a building supervisor responsible for the contributions of his team, and about Ray’s boundless energy

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for rescuing and transforming old furniture - at a profit no less. But she didn’t leave it at that. Belle went on to suggest that beside Ray’s surname they should add: A LEADER OF MEN AND AN ENTREPRENEUR. And that beside each Smith, Jenkins and Polansky, a befitting description should reside so that each patient could retain the dignity of their identity.

I don’t know that the Head Nurse ever acted on Belle’s bold suggestion. But I do know that Belle’s inspiration is with me every time I hear the stories of people in hospitals, nursing homes, care facilities and elsewhere who struggle to hold onto

their identity - that timeless sense of self that defies age, status, and, let’s face it, everything else. Life requires each one of us to find a way to hold onto who we are, does it not? How much more so in a care facility…

I hope that you never experience a lifealtering event like Uncle Ray’s. Because Ray lost the ability to speak, I will never know what shifts he experienced in his sense of self. What I do know is that every person is more than what we see, what we “imagine” about them, or what the circumstances of their life might suggest. And in that way alone, they are just like you and me.

Massage Envy

Home Furnishings with Heart

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

When I moved into my first place, I had very little money. I still remember looking at all of the photos of professionally styled homes and apartments, finally realizing just how expensive all of that stuff was – and realizing that much of it lacked the personality – my personality! – that I wanted to express in my home.

It was then that I discovered how much I could get from something that another person donated to a thrift or second-hand store. That affirming action never went away – 20 years after my first apartment, I still happily check out stores like the ReStore, never knowing what personality treasure I’ll find. And I’m not alone.

Habitat ReStores are independently owned reuse stores operated by local Habitat for Humanity organizations – and we’re lucky here in Forsyth to have not one, but four ReStores with the newest addition of the Peters Creek Parkway store in Winston-Salem , now open. The ReStores accept donations of furniture and home improvement items and sell them to the public at a fraction of the retail price – but at the core of each ReStore? A lot of heart and hard-work makes them extra special to be part of.

“We really think of it as a hand up and not a handout,” said Camille Calhoun, Kernersville ReStore Manager. Known among the team as a fantastic merchandiser, she has made the Kernersville store feel like a boutique. “People come in for things to beautify their homes, and I love being able to talk to them and help them find a treasure for their home.”

“Thanks to our generous donors, we’ve had some amazing things come through here,” said Kim Marshall, Lewisville ReStore Assistant Manager, “It allows you to see history in a unique way – we’ve had vintage glass and even an antique accordion Officer’s campaign bed.” Kim also appreciates being able to research the items that come into the store, specifically to learn about that unique history and share information with the staff. “People can easily get nicer things than they could possibly afford, and building relationships with the customers, volunteers, and staff allows me to be part of something that improves the community.”

And when it comes to improving the community, the relationship building is just the start: the ReStore averages about 7,000 pick-ups of donated product every year – that’s around 1,000 tons of product! The Lewisville ReStore offers a brilliant service for products that might need some extra love and care: chalk painting classes, taught by Priya Patel with A Cubed Art, to teach customers how to repurpose items rather than sending them to landfills.

“I want to motivate people,” said Priya. “There is a lot of unwanted furniture, and I can see what people don’t, and turn it into unique customized pieces.” While Priya teaches classes for the home DIYer, if you’re clumsy like me, you have a few other options: Priya creates and customizes pieces for people (she’s currently redoing a whole lake cabin for a client!) and also offers advice and how-to pointers when you purchase Wise Owl chalk paint through her. While folks can just call and ask her for advice, I encourage buying the $24 paint for access to her Facebook group – complete with three step-by-step video tutorials! “I thought having my work in the store, maybe folks would be interested in purchasing paint and giving it a try.”

Priya isn’t without some serious fans at the ReStore, “She is truly so accessible to help folks refurbish, bring life into, and create a unique, individual piece,” said Kim, previously mentioned ReStore assistant manager and owner of several of Priya’s works. “Priya is so generous with her time and talent.”

If you aren’t in the market for your own home beautification, there are plenty of services that support the ReStores and therefor support affordable housing in our community. The Forsyth County ReStores offer free donation pick-up service of new or gently used home furnishings, an estate cleanout program, and a used mattress program that cleans and sanitizes – then sells – gently used mattresses, helping folks buy a good mattress at a fraction of the cost of a new one.

Regardless of whether you’re looking for a new treasure for your own home, some modernization or customization of a found treasure, or a place to donate, the ReStore is the place for you to connect and find community. “It’s about that person in front of you, and the value of talking to that person about their family,” said Camille. “When I come out, I say ‘How can I help YOU today?’ because it’s about you.”

The Peters Creek ReStore, located at 2551 Peters Creek Parkway, Winston-Salem, NC 27127, is now open and planning a Grand Opening celebration for June 12. Stay up-to-date with new inventory and sales by following @PetersCreekWSReStore on Facebook, visit habitatforsyth.org/restore or call 336.893.8495.

For more information on Priya Patel and A Cubed Art visit acubedart.com, follow @ACubedArts on Facebook or email pria_pat@yahoo.com.

Carolina Disco Turkeys to Play at Truist Stadium New Collegiate Wood Bat Team to Make Winston-Salem Their Home in 2021

BY CAROLYN S PETERSON

After over a year with no outdoor sporting events, baseball is making a big return to Truist Stadium, not only with the WinstonSalem Dash, but with the Carolina Disco Turkeys, a collegiate wood bat team.

You Can Never Have Too Much Baseball The Carolina Disco Turkeys will play more than 40 games this season against some of the best teams in the Southeast, with their season beginning in May and ending in August offering tickets as low as $7 for some seats. C.J. Johnson, DASH President said, “Collegiate wood bat leagues offer a valuable opportunity for the top college baseball players to develop their skills over the summer. We are excited to provide these athletes with a first-class facility to compete in and to create 16 more opportunities for our community to enjoy affordable entertainment.” Most of the roster for the Carolina Disco Turkeys will be comprised of players who have competed locally in high school and/or college.

immediately and they can hardly keep it on the shelves – it seems people all over the country want it!

Giving fans a good time at the ballpark is what the DASH is all about and this addition of the Disco Turkeys will just add to what the DASH already have lined up this summer and throughout the year.

Winston-Salem-based Sullimak Entertainment, LLC, owns the Carolina Disco Turkeys and will handle all merchandise, ticket sales, and game operations for their events. Standard stadium concessions will be available and outside food or beverages are not permitted.

C.J. Johnson, DASH President said, “We strive to offer affordable entertainment for our community throughout the year. Whether it is a movie night, concert, comedy show, wedding, or baseball game…we want to be the place where our community comes together to have fun. This partnership with the Disco Turkeys and Collegiate Wood Bat League is great because it provides 16 more opportunities for local fans to come out and enjoy tasty food, cold beverages, and America’s greatest pastime…baseball.” The opponents for the Disco Turkeys include the Statesville Owls, Catawba Valley Stars, High-Point-Thomasville Hi-Toms, Martinsville Mustangs, and others. The team will conclude its season by representing North Carolina and playing some of the top North American wood bat teams in Johnstown, PA’s historic annual AllAmerican Amateur Baseball Association (AAABA) Tournament.

That’s quite an honor for any team.

If you are asking yourself what exactly a “disco turkey” is, it’s a nickname in some areas of the country for a peacock. The team merchandise with the Disco Turkey logo on it sold out almost

The Winston-Salem Dash are the Class A-Advanced Minor League affiliate of the Chicago White Sox. For more information, please call 336-714-2287 or visit wsdash.com.

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Make sure your vehicle is ready for all your summer road trips

Pat’s Body Shop

Gift Certificates Available

336-945-3767 336-999-3000TOWING

5720 Country Club Road Winston-Salem, NC 27104 Monday - Friday 8:00am - 5:30pm

336-955-3099 The Carolina’s Performance Headquarters

4961 S Main Street, Winston-Salem, NC 27107 Monday - Friday 8:00am - 5:30pm

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PIVOTING THROUGH PARTNERSHIP

BY DENISE HEIDEL, PHOTOS BY JEJ PHOTOS

It’s a partnership 16 years in the making. Meet Marzano Capital Group – a business founded on family principles and relational priorities. Started in 2005 by father-son team Art and Jon Marzano, Marzano Capital Group has grown into a trusted financial firm built on transparency, teamwork, and a lot of communication.

“When we started Marzano Capital Group,” explained Jon, “we started with the end in mind. It’s really the way everyone should start – whether they build their own business or work for someone else. There should always be an end goal in mind so that you can benchmark progress. Such was the case for my dad and we opened the firm with his retirement plan in mind. While I’m not near ready to retire, it’s part of the reason we’re expanding our company to include partners who are vested and who add to our business’s longevity and continuity. We always have to be prepared to pivot so we can remain viable, not only for the long-term but through the events that will and do occur, similar to 2020, one of the world’s most unforeseen and shocking events.

“Pivoting is a key step,” Jon explained, “because our business is so relational in nature. We don’t work for a firm. We work for our clients. Our job isn’t just based on dollars and cents. We develop lasting relationships with our clients. Because we live and work in our community, we see them out and about at the grocery stores, when we’re picking up lunch, and throughout our daily lives.

With community in mind, we knew our firm needed a partnership component to help diversify for long-term growth and stability.”

Jon said, “The four partners of Marzano Capital Group bring a variety of skills and strengths. It helps us all to be better, and we are a team first. It’s the way we handle our clients…. There isn’t just one representative for a client; they benefit from the wealth of talent within our partnership.

“For instance,” he continued, “Mike McGilvary brings so much energy to the business. He’s got a lot of drive and is familyfocused. We know Mike has a lot to offer to our clients and the future of Marzano Capital Group. He has an Accredited Investment Fiduciary® designation and brings a wealth of understanding about investing, retirement planning, and wealth management to the table.

“Then, there’s Steven,” Jon said. “Steven Gallo has an extensive understanding of retirement, savings, and corporate benefits.

His wisdom has guided so many to make sound financial choices that position them for their future. He’s an active volunteer in the community, and he loves to serve where he lives.

“One of our other partners in the business is none other than Angela McGilvary,” said Jon. “The backbone of our office – Angela has been a long-time dedicated partner of Marzano Capital Group. She serves as our Operations Manager and is the glue that’s held us together for years.

“And of course, there’s me,” said Jon. “I’m a founding partner, and my job is to oversee the growth and direction of the firm. I love this business, but even more so, I love this team, and I love the people we serve. This is so much more than a job for me. I value integrity and communication and am proud that the business my dad and I started has flourished with other like-minded professionals.”

June 2021 | 59

In addition to the partners, an incredibly talented support staff lends their talents daily to ensure the clients’ needs are met first. “Egos are left at the door at Marzano Capital Group,” said Jon. “Our team agrees – clients are better served when we work together. In fact, that’s a crucial part of our growth strategy. As we seek to grow and add to the firm, we will selectively consider candidates who are committed to growth and development for the whole organization.

“At the end of the day,” said Jon, “we know our clients have options, and there are other wealth management companies. However, our service model is built with them in mind. We look beyond the initial investment, and we see people. We see them right where they are through their lens – what we want to leave them with is an understanding of their options. To do that, we educate. We believe in investing in people before they invest in us.”

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Jon and the Marzano Capital Group team agree that being a financial advisor is not just about managing money. “We are educators first. We want those who consider our services to be informed about their options and the process, and we want them to make sound choices for their financial future (whether they choose us or not). That’s the first value proposition we bring to those who consider us.

“Next, we are confidants. We build lasting relationships with our clients because this is never a ‘one-and-done’ thing for us. We are in this for the long-haul with our clients – and we don’t care how big or small the account when they start... We just want them to start! Investing something, even a little, is better than nothing!”

“It’s through those relationships and the trust that we have built with our clients that we can pivot. Circumstances change, and over time, the people’s needs change. The priorities of a young investor at 21 are very different from the priorities of an investor in their 50s or 60s. Career changes, having kids, personal goals – all of that plays a factor. And we have to know, understand, and respect all of that in order to serve our clients well.”

Jon continued, “Our team’s objective is for our clients to come to us and feel very comfortable. We aim for transparency and accessibility, knowing that money is such a sensitive topic. Our clients know and trust that what we say, we mean. We don’t just talk the talk; we live it every day. What we ultimately strive for when our clients review their portfolios with us, is for them to see the value that we add on their own. We should not have to explain our value add, it should be understood if we are doing our job the best we can. That guiding principle extends beyond portfolio management. That principle guides us though the financial journey that we take together.

“As we pivot with the times, it’s important to remember that to pivot requires strong footing. Our team stands firm on a foundation of integrity, character, commitment, and excellence. But we’re very capable of pivoting to meet the needs of those we serve.”

Marzano Capital Group is located at 2625 Neudorf Road, Suite 400 in Clemmons. Call them at 336.766.0464 or visit them online at MarzanoCapitalGroup.com. Be sure to like their page on Facebook.___________________________ Services offered by Marzano Capital Group include: • Wealth Management • Retirement Planning • Tax Management • Estate Investment Planning • Education Funding • Risk Management • Employee and Executive Benefits Securities offered through LPL Financial, Member FINRA/SIPC, Investment advice offered through Independent Advisor Alliance, a registered investment advisor. Independent Advisor Alliance and Marzano Capital Group are separate entities from LPL Financial.

June 2021 | 61

What’s your apology language?

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

Apologies are harder than they look. How often have you – or someone else – said, “I’m sorry you feel like that” in efforts to “apologize”? Spoiler alert: if this is you, this is not an apology.

While many of you might be reacting in a clear “duh” about this apology-lacking apology, how many of you have given thought to HOW you apologize? And even deeper, to your apology language?

EXPRESSING REGRET

Regret is feeling sad or distress over something you said or did. If you feel like you have to tell someone “I feel bad that I (did this action)”, you probably use an expression of regret to show that you are sorry about something that hurt another person.

If this is something you need, you might not feel complete if another person doesn’t seem to feel bad about how she treated you or what she did. If the other person lacks emotions in her apology to you, it’s always important to think about how she shows emotions in other situations. If she isn’t an emotional person, she probably won’t be showing emotion in an apology – nothing against you!

ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY

Owning an action is a critical part of this apology language: remember the fake apology I opened this article with? “I’m sorry YOU feel like this” expresses no ownership of action! If you understand that your action or actions caused harm to another person and make a point to accept that responsibility in your apology, you’ve landed on your language.

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While I knew about the different languages of love – and adhere to the idea that we use our love languages at work just as much as we do in relationships, Gary Chapman’s book The Five Languages of Apology got me thinking about how I communicate my apologetic emotions and what “language” I’m speaking. Knowledge is power in communication, so read on to learn more and continue to elevate your apology language:

If this is something you need, you should remember that you can’t change how someone else communicates, just how you respond to it. Some people will not accept responsibilities for their actions – period.

Unfortunately, we can’t get them to do that no matter how hard we try. We can use assertive language to link our emotions to their actions by using the following: I felt (emotion) when you (action). For example, I felt sad when you forgot our plans. They still might not see it as their fault!

MAKING RESTITUTION

Do you feel the need to make something right if you did a wrong? Welcome to making restitution: you have a direct reaction (an active one!) to the action that caused harm. If you lied, you work to build trust. If you broke something, you offer to repay it.

Again, if this is what you need, it’s difficult to get people to do something without directly asking for it. If you know you need this from another person, a simple, “I need more time to rebuild trust in you” or “I would like you to replace it” (if they ask what they can do to make it up to you!).

GENUINELY REPENTING

Do you acknowledge you cause harm, express an apology, and aim for the future? Welcome to repenting – this isn’t about saying “I’m so sorry” a dozen times until someone forgives you, this is a combination of understanding what you did, the harm you caused, and stating that you will work to improve this in the future.

If you need this, ask about what happens if this same situation comes up again. What will the person do? Be cautious with that choice though: it can come across as shaming. Expressing that you don’t want this to happen again might make them think about future actions that may or may not occur.

REQUESTING FORGIVENESS

Do you need the other person to forgive you?

Do you like expressing that “It’s ok”? Boom, you’ve got this language. This is the most difficult one in my opinion because you can’t make someone forgive you.

If you know this is what you need, remember to understand the choice. No one owes you anything, and you don’t owe anyone else anything. If you do it, do it with genuine intention.

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Exceptional Young Women in the Community:

Meet Cate Hettinger

BY AMY HILL

Ideally, Cate hopes to see school systems eventually transition from presenting volunteer work as required “service hours” or nice additions to college and job applications, to volunteer work that is truly altruistic in nature. Although she believes that her peers intrinsically possess the desire to help others and their community, she fears that continuing to incentivize or require volunteer work will diminish the desire to help others in generations to come.

At 16 years old, Mount Tabor High School student Cate Hettinger has earned nothing but A’s throughout her high school career, maintaining an impressive GPA of 4.35. In addition to a stellar academic record, Cate spends her free time at the Sawtooth School for Visual Art in downtown Winston-Salem, where she takes classes for painting, drawing, mixed media, ceramics, glass, jewelry, photography, film, and creative software classes. At home, Cate enjoys relaxing from her school and art-filled schedule by baking.

When Cate was growing up, her parents valued volunteer work and instilled in her the importance of giving back through acts of service. All throughout Cate’s childhood, she has participated in various volunteer opportunities such as fundraisers, serving as a teacher’s assistant, and embarking on mission trips. Cate has held a leadership position in Centenary United Methodist Church’s youth-led organization Love Thy Neighbor for three out of the five years she has been involved with the group. In February, Cate assisted in organizing Love Thy Neighbor’s annual fashion show fundraiser, which helps fund the group and keeps youth active in the community.

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While Cate has performed volunteer work with a giving heart, she acknowledges that many of the volunteer opportunities that she has participated in have not been presented to her or her peers in the same way. Cate asserts that volunteering is often presented to her generation as a requirement with an incentive, or even a punishment, which concerns her. Cate explains, “There have been many times when I have struggled with a certain volunteer job because I was only doing it to check it off of a list. When I face volunteering as a requirement, I never feel as though my heart is truly in the work that I am doing.”

In middle school, Cate stopped tracking her volunteer hours and refused to turn in any paperwork for her volunteer jobs to combat the guilt she experienced while volunteering as a requirement.

Although her teachers were not pleased, Cate would know that the work she was doing for others was from a genuine desire to help.

One of Cate’s most touching experiences involved spending several days performing manual labor in the hot sun in Puerto Rico while painting and doing handiwork in a lonely elderly woman’s home.

Although Cate only had an 8th grade Spanish education at that time, she tried her best to communicate with the woman by using her limited vocabulary. Although Cate was unable to understand the woman’s responses, Cate smiled and nodded her way through the conversation. Unaware of the impact her friendliness had on the woman at the time, Cate was surprised when the elderly woman embraced her as if she were Cate’s grandmother at the end of the mission trip. Cate realized that the manual labor she performed paled in comparison to the human connection she was able to provide for the woman.

Although Cate is currently focused on volunteering, schoolwork, and her extensive list of arts-based extracurricular activities, she hopes to one day find a career that feels less like work and more like a lifestyle or creative outlet. When she’s not helping others or sharpening her skills, Cate loves watching Parks and Rec or eating at Yamas and Mission Pizza downtown. She hopes to travel to many countries in the future, with Greece and Indonesia at the top of her bucket list.

Learn more about Love Thy Neighbor at centenary-ws.org/youth-ministry.

Keep up with the latest news and updates from Love Thy Neighbor on Instagram at @centenary.ltn.

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The Family Legacy Found in a Diorama

BY KATIE MARSH

There’s something special about an inherited interest. It’s what connects us to the past and loved ones who have gone on before us. For Wayne Heidel of Clemmons and drummer for the band, Hawthorne Curve, it’s through the art of dioramas that he’s found a shared and common bond with his late-grandfather, Malcolm Hill.

“My grandfather was a Marine who served in the Korean War,” Wayne said. “From his military background, Grandpa Hill developed a tremendous capacity for detail and when it came to putting together miniatures, he was incredibly meticulous and methodical.”

Wayne developed an interest in his grandfather’s hobby after inheriting a miniature gazebo that his grandfather made. “Grandpa had designed and built this gazebo as a prototype for a full-scale model he wanted to put on his land. Unfortunately, he never got a chance to build it, but I recently took the gazebo and built a model for it – completing what my grandfather envisioned, but on a much, much smaller scale.”

When Wayne isn’t playing the drums (his first love!), you can most likely find him in the workshop corner of his garage, meticulously working on various miniature projects. “I’ve discovered a love for building these dioramas and I find it relaxing to spend time in the

garage, listening to music, and putting together ideas. I’ve made several Nativity sets, an Easter tomb, a scene from MASH (which was an ode to my dad), and recently, my wife gave me a challenge – to create a miniature church. With the exception of one tree, that diorama is entirely hand-made from the individual shingles on the roof to the stained glass windows.”

Almost everything Wayne builds is from scratch. “I don’t work from kits and I scale everything to a specific ratio, depending on the project. For instance, a 1:48 ratio project means that one quarter inch of work would represent one foot in real life.

I make most everything with the exception of the martini glasses I needed for the MASH diorama and the occasional tree, but in some cases, I make those, too. I frequently use wood, foam, clay, or other materials to shape what I need. One of the more outsidethe-box materials I’ve used was a paper towel that I spray painted – I found it made a great cot for my MASH diorama.”

This is purely a hobby and Wayne has no interest in selling his work. “I’ve been asked, but this is something for fun. Each project is based on my mood and in the moment. I enjoy the creative outlet and don’t want to force it…. Plus, I have too many ideas for new projects to spend time duplicating things I’ve already made.

“I love that I can remember Grandpa Hill this way. I know he would be proud of the projects I’ve completed and if he were still alive, I know we would have a lot of great discussion around them.”

While he’s not interested in selling his pieces, Wayne is always eager to share his completed work. As he completes them, he takes pictures and sets them to music which he uploads to YouTube to display his finished creation (YouTube.com/user/TheStClair2011).

The Nativity Diorama is a German-esque style. 1:12 ratio.

Grandpa’s Gazebo is a miniature scale based on the vision Grandpa Hill had for a fullsized gazebo on his pond. 1:48 ratio.

The Church Diorama is named after Wayne’s grandmother-in-law, Bethel Henderson, and designed after a variety of traditional country churches. 1:48 ratio.

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The MASH Diorama is based on key elements from the TV show and the idea of packing up and going home from war. 1:15 ratio.

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June 2021 | 67

FAMILY SERVICES REVIEW

BY MICHELLE SPEAS, VICE PRESIDENT, PHILANTHROPY AND PUBLIC RELATIONS, FAMILY SERVICES

In this wave of reaching out, we are hearing from many first-time callers. Overwhelmed healthcare workers, distressed teachers, and perhaps most striking, teenagers and children who are suffering from anxiety, depression, and a sense of hopelessness.

We are hearing a common refrain from many people as they confront debilitating, but vague depression: “I’m not sure how to ask for help.

I’m not sure what I need. But I’m struggling.”

Another tragic consequence for the most vulnerable among us is the decrease in funding for these services.

Normally paid for through an allocation of court fees, this stream of critical support has dried up substantially, as there are fewer cases going to trial, due to social distancing protocols.

Today, we ask you to support the essential work of Family Services as we respond to an increased need for assistance throughout our community. We are here and ready to help anyone and everyone who needs us, providing support, relief, and solutions 24/7.

Make your donation by June 30th and you can double the impact of your generosity, thanks to a $25,000 matching gift donation by a longtime supporter who recognizes the urgency of this moment in our community.

THIS IS HOW YOU HELP.

After more than a year of pandemic stress and uncertainty, it’s natural to grasp on to hope if given the chance.

Vaccine availability is rising, the weather is warming, and many of us are finding that our lives almost have a normal rhythm.

But for many in our community, the arrival of spring offers little in the way of emotional rejuvenation. In fact, far too many people continue to suffer increased levels of anxiety, often made worse by feelings of inadequacy, as they are unable to join others in seasonal optimism.

As always, thank you for giving generously to Family Services, so we may continue to help build—and sometimes rebuild—strong families during a time that is challenging for us all.

A little generosity can make a huge difference.

One year into the pandemic: WHEN YOU GIVE

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to Family Services, you are helping • 56% average monthly increase in calls for help by your neighbors have the stability,

• 143% increase in March 2021— highest volume of security and opportunities that allow calls for counseling in our history Forsyth County to flourish, now and

This is why counseling calls to Family Services have surged during Whatʼs most important to you? Health, happiness, prosperity? the pandemic—in March alone calls were about three times our There are We plenty good answers, but they all have the future. pre-pandemic average. areofreceiving urgent requests for one thing in • 20 childreninon a wait list for counseling—highest common—the essential role of family.

Strong, thriving help from people facing domestic violence and sexual assault. families createnumber in a decade To donate or volunteer, visit And our counseling services in high demand, our is deeply strong, vibrant are communities.

The healthasofmany your in family familyservicesforsyth.org or community feelconnected more isolated and at risk than ever before. to the health of families next door and across town. call 336.722.8173.

68 | ForsythWoman.com

Family Services

THIS IS HOW YOU HELP. A little generosity can make a huge difference.

WHEN YOU GIVE

S THIS IS HOW IS HOW U YOU HELP. HELP.

to Family Services, you are helping your neighbors have the stability, security and opportunities that allow

Whatʼs most important to you? Health, happiness, prosperity?

Forsyth County to flourish, now and

There are plenty of good answers, but they all have one thing in

in the future.

common—the essential role of family. Strong, thriving families create strong, vibrant communities. The health of your family is deeply connected to the health of families next door and across town.

To donate or volunteer, visit familyservicesforsyth.org or call 336.722.8173.

You’re Just So Direct!

And other insults disguised as compliments

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

How often have you been hit with a backhanded compliment?

Maybe you’re unsure – let me give you a good rule of thumb: if you’re not sure if you’re being complimented or insulted or if you feel a little HUH? about what was just said? That’s a backhanded compliment.

It’s a bit of praise with a side of insult.

I’ve fallen victim to this passive-aggressiveness way too many times, and before we continue, an important note: you are not responsible for how anyone else communicates. You can’t change it, actually, you can only change how you respond to it. If someone is giving you passive-aggressive insults hidden as compliments – that’s on THEM, not on YOU. Your only job is to respond with grace and get out of the situation – you can’t fix them.

That being said, if you recognize these phrases as something you’ve said before – stop it. Change your behavior and do better!

Some backhanded compliments to look out for:

You look great – have you lost weight?

Ugh – this one is rough because it implies the person looks better than they did at a heavier weight. It also does a bit of fatshaming – have they complimented you before looking “thinner”? Why can’t the compliment just end at “you look great”?

Oh my goodness, you’re [insert age]!

You look so young!

I was reading an article on the beauty industry and one of the issues they brought up is the idea that men can age and women can’t. Where’s the Botox for Harrison Ford?

I can’t believe you just had a kid! You look great.

Thank you, I didn’t know I didn’t look great when I was growing a literal human. Appreciate it!

You’re so brave to wear/do/ say something like that!

Brave. Why brave?

Because it looks horrible or it’s too shocking to do or say?

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You’re just so direct.

As opposed to the passive-aggressive backhanded compliment you just gave?

There are plenty more – essentially, you’re looking for anything that feels a little weird, like not an actual compliment. When you’re hit with one of the above statements – or something that gives you that similar wet sweater gross vibes, here are a few quick things that you can do:

Don’t feel bad that you feel bad.

If you feel hurt by the comment, you feel hurt by the comment. You shouldn’t and don’t need to, make excuses for that person, or feel like you’ve done something wrong by feeling bad.

Say something if you want to.

You don’t have to awkwardly smile if someone says something that hurts your feelings! You are allowed to say something! It could be as simple as “Thanks” so you can move along – or you can tell them their comment felt hurtful. Remember to be assertive: When you said [the backhanded compliment] I felt [emotion]. You don’t want to say things that are full of blame, like “You always do this.”

Keep it straightforward.

Say thank you and move on.

Another route you might want to try? Say thank you and move along.

Sometimes those backhanded compliments are there for attention.

And that attention isn’t on you – it’s definitely for the reaction and response. The less attention you give this moment, the better because you’re taking away the attention that’s being sought out.

More than any of these tips? Remember that you can’t change how anyone else communicates – just how you respond. If you give it snark and negative emotion back, all you’re going to do is create an argument.

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We’ve all been in that conversation.

Being Concise

Using Less to Say More

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

You know the one. Someone makes a comment or asks a question, and the response seems to go on forever. It’s not that complicated of a question and didn’t necessitate that much of an answer – but the person talking (maybe it’s YOU!) just keeps on talking.

Cringe, right? Both for the person talking, folks listening – and this isn’t all the time, right?

Sometimes we want a long story with all of the details. Unfortunately, being tangential isn’t always the most helpful personality trait. The ability to be concise is a challenge for many people, specifically because of nervousness.

You might worry about who you’re in front of, what they are thinking, what decisions they are making about what you’re saying – and what’s worse, a nervous speaker might use over 100 words to express what a concise speaker might say in 20.

Being concise is a skill set that can assist in focusing an audience, being persuasive, and showing confidence. But you probably already know that – the real question is, how do we move from a place of nervous chatter to one of concise confidence?

IF YOU’RE ANSWERING A QUESTION, ANSWER IT. One of the biggest mistakes I see when people are talking too much? They are talking around answers. The focus is so often on over-explaining that they forget to answer the question.

This one is an easy fix: make sure you answer the question first! If someone asks you a question, make a point to answer it first, before you start going into a story that goes with the answer or the details around the answer. This might sound simple but takes a conscious focus. This particular oversharing of information often happens in job interviews or high career stress situations, so be especially mindful!

TRY A SUMMARY.

This next tip takes some homework: select something to read or talk about. Pretend that someone asks you to tell them about it, and start answering the pretend question.

Time yourself, and see how long it takes. After you’ve done this once, take whatever time you spoke and cut it in half. This is the new time you have to answer the question.

For example, if you took 2 minutes to answer a question about plants, or talk about plants, now try to answer that same question in 1 minute. After you do that – try for 45 seconds, or even 30. While you’re not going to time yourself for questions or make sure you only say certain things – this activity can help you get to the point as quickly as possible. You might want to give details – make sure folks want to hear them. Start with the answer, THEN go into more details!

TAKE PAUSES.

A lot of the time when people aren’t concise, they also don’t take pauses.

If you start overexplaining things, take a breath and a moment to pause.

This will help you get into a habit of speaking in chunks of essential information.

Instead of rattling on for too long, stop from time to time and check in with your listeners. Questions like, “Does that make sense?” or checking for similar experiences can only enhance engagement versus boring your listeners!

ELIMINATE EXCESS.

Do you ever say things like “you know” or “as I said before” or “I just wanted to tell you”?

These are all fillers. You can skip saying these things that don’t add to your point – all these fillers do? Add words and lessen the likelihood that people will listen to what you have to say. Words are currency – don’t waste money.

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JEJ Photos

Make Room for What You love

“Clutter is a stealer of joy and contentment. Your home should breathe happiness into your family’s story, not slowly suck the life out of you.” ~ Melissa Michaels You bring clutter into your home one piece at a time…so slowly, you hardly even notice you are cluttering the environment where you live. I have often said, “The only good thing about moving is you get to clean out closets and declutter whether you want to or not.”

I’m not looking to move anytime soon but I help clients with relocation moves and with downsizing. You don’t realize how much you have until you move.

You all know the rule: keep, trash, donate or sell but to declutter, you may need to go beyond that. It is not always easy to let go of things. Holding on too tight? Ask yourself a few questions: “Why do I have this?”

“Do I really need this?” “Do I have room for this?” “Does this item bring me joy?”

Getting rid of “stuff” you don’t need and creating order with the “stuff” you do will bring serenity to your life. When I do an Interior Redesign, this is one of the reasons I clear the room first. Then I bring items back into the room that will help it to function better. In the end, the room is more inviting.

Joshua Becker gives some fun ideas to encourage you to take that first step in decluttering in “10 Creative Ways to Declutter Your Home” on becomingminimalist.com. One of Joshua’s creative ideas: “Take the 12-12-12 Challenge. A simple task of locating 12 items to throw away, 12 items to donate, and 12 items to be returned to their proper home can be a really fun way to quickly organize 36 things in your house.”

Clutter brings stress, and a home without clutter feels so much better. Getting rid of clutter can help you make more room for what you love.

Dale Carnegie said, “People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.”

“If you have to buy stuff to store stuff, you might have too much stuff.” ~ Unknown

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Remember that clutter came in one piece at a time; it will take some time to let it go. Make a plan and decide what areas need to be decluttered, organized, and cleaned up. You might want to try tackling the easiest areas first to achieve a feeling of accomplishment quicker.

Don’t try to tackle the whole house in one day.

Once you have prioritized…get started!

As Joshua Becker says, “The goal is to take the first step with excitement behind it. There is a beautiful world of freedom and fresh breath hiding behind that clutter. How you remove is up to you.”

Thank you for reading my article each month. ReDESIGNS by Ava’s goal is to help you create a beautiful place where you and your family can come to be loved, refreshed, and encouraged.

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Making Dollars, Making $ense Securities offered through LPL Financial, Member FINRA/SIPC, Investment advice offered through Independent Advisor Alliance, a registered investment advisor, Independent Advisor Alliance and Marzano Capital Group are separate entities from LPL Financial.

The 50/30/20 Rule

BY JON MARZANO, AIF®, FOUNDING PARTNER, MANAGING PRINCIPAL

If you’re like millions of Americans, you often live from paycheck to paycheck, working to just “get by” without the opportunity to develop significant wealth or long-term savings. And unless you’re the chairman of a Fortune 500 company or a recent lottery winner, chances are you live on a tight budget to make sure ends meet. Developing a budget to manage monthly finances is a great way to make sure that your bills are paid on-time and you don’t get overextended. However, many people forget to include paying themselves as part of their budget, and again forego the opportunity to build wealth over time. Fortunately, the “50/30/20” budget plan allows you to do so.

The 50/30/20 rule works for individuals and families at all income levels. It’s a simple program that can help you take control of your finances. The program works like this: your after-tax monthly income is broken down into three categories: Fixed expenses, discretionary spending and savings: Fixed expenses: These are the expenses that you know you will have every month. The goal of the budget is to limit these expenses to no more than 50 percent of your after-tax monthly income, allowing for the other 50 percent of your money to be used in other areas.

Examples include: • Rent/mortgage • Car payment • Utilities • Car payments • Child care • Food Discretionary spending: Think of this category as “nice to have,” not “have to have.” These are the items that you are not contractually obligated to pay every month, which should be kept to 30 percent of your monthly budget.

Here are some examples: • Restaurants • Entertainment • Vacations • Clothing • Gifts Savings: In order to accumulate wealth, it is important to make sure and pay yourself every month. The savings portion of your monthly budget should be 20 percent of your after-tax salary. This category includes: • General savings • Retirement savings • College funds

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Let’s say that a family of four has a monthly after-tax income of $6,000.

Their breakdown may look like this: Fixed expenses: • Mortgage: $1,200 • Car payments: $ 700 • Utilities: $ 500 • Phone: $ 200 • Child care: $ 400 Discretionary spending: • Restaurants: $ 600 • Clothing: $ 350 • Entertainment: $ 450 • Gifts: $ 200 Savings: • General savings: $ 600 • College fund: $ 200 • Retirement: $ 400 The family above has kept their fixed expenses to $3,000 or 50 percent of their after-tax income. As a result, they are able to use 30 percent of their income for discretionary spending, and more importantly, have $1,200 per month to put towards college funds and savings. That’s more than $14,000 per year the family is able to save.

Using the 50-30-20 budget is a great way to put yourself on solid financial footing, both now and in the future. It allows those who use the program to budget to take care of necessary items, have funds available to have some fun during the month, while still building savings in a responsible manner. The 50/30/20 rule also gives users the flexibility to deal with unexpected events while still maintaining necessary expenses, and helps individuals and families figure out what they can and can’t afford, reducing the number of extraneous or “impulse” purchases.

So, if you’re having difficulty setting and maintaining a budget, and are interested in developing long-term savings, the 50-30-20 approach may work for you.

Content in this material is for general information only and not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual.

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Creative Advice for Babes on a Budget: THE ART OF SAVING & CONSERVING MONEY - LIVING A LIFE NOT OF LACK, BUT RICH IN SPIRIT

BY SUSAN B. B. SCHABACKER

Tired of pinching pennies? Bored with rationing? Don’t despair if you’re burned out from budgeting, trying to make ends meet, and struggling to survive financially.

Learning to stay within your budget, save, and live within your means can offer financial freedom and improve your life. Tightening your belt may be wearing thin, so here are some creative suggestions you can try that won’t stretch you too thin.

Same goes for your canine companion’s grooming expenses.

Afraid your fur baby will make a mess in your bathroom? Head outdoors to lather up and hose down to rinse.

REWARDS AND REINFORCEMENT

Paying for a gym membership you can’t afford? Get a better and more creative workout at home and save on transportation. Set a regular time to get active. Put on some music, work out vids, or join a LIVE vid session. Rather be outdoors? Try yoga or tai chi in the backyard for body conditioning and take a jog around the block or at a nearby park for cardio.

Whatever your financial situation, set your worries and fears aside. Work with what you’ve got, focus on earning and conserving, and reward yourself along the way with positive reinforcement. Thinking negatively and living in the lack can subtract from your quality of life. So, instead, adopt a positive, “can-do” mindset, fill up on hope and inspiration, work out a strategic plan you stick to, and talk yourself up and out of a slump.

The more you can exercise that “save more” instead of “spend more” muscle, the more you’ll accumulate in savings. Understand where your money’s actually going. Treating yourself to a new lip color, nail polish, or latte may not seem like a big expense, but they add up. Adopt a hardcore savings mentality and keep your eyes on the bigger picture, not just the prize. Every time you’re fighting a craving to spend, remember your longer-term goals and think about how financially free you’ll be when you get control of your spending.

SALES SAVVY Don’t fall into the trap of buying every time there’s a good sale or always buy more because it’s a good deal. It may feel like you’re saving more, but this is a common sales tactic to get you to shop till you drop.

Stop before you spend and ask yourself: Is this something you really need? What’s the ROI and longevity? Can you get by without this or substitute it with something you already have?

TRY DIY Used to getting your nails and hair done?

Try DIYing. You may not be as professional as the stylists you’re used to, but have fun being creative. Another advantage? You can do it all from home. Put music on and make yourself something to sip on. Glean some visual inspiration online or from magazines. Pin fav looks in a Pinterest board or tear out pages from mags, and check out beauty tutorials on YouTube. Be patient; it takes practice and some trying, but don’t overlook DIYing!

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SKIP EXPENSIVE ENTERTAINMENT Entertainment doesn’t have to be an expense. Forgo subscriptions to magazines; instead, check them out from your library. No Netflix? No worries. Head to YouTube for your film fix, music videos, comedy, and cooking shows. There’s also plenty of free music to stream and download. And, thanks to technology, we can tune into LIVE performances of music, musicals, opera, ballet, and theatre wherever there’s Wi-Fi. No money for concessions? Just head to your kitchen. These days, you don’t have to travel the world to experience it. Explore different cultures around the globe just a few clicks away.

No need to buy recipe books. Try recipes from cooking and baking blogs and vlogs.

You may not be Miss Money now with a disposable income, multiple houses, and cars, but you can always be rich in spirit and improve your financial outcome. Keep working consistently on reasonable and achievable goals.

Feel like you’ve been on a treadmill, like a hamster in a wheel, or treading water and just trying not to drown in debt? Reassess, refresh, and reconfigure. You can do this! Don’t look back.

Look forward to when you can look back on your life and laugh at the lack.

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June 2021 | 79

Prioritize Your Vascular Health This Summer Visit Novant Health Vein Specialists at their Brand New Location

BY AMY HILL

Tired of unsightly varicose veins causing you to think twice before wearing shorts to a summer barbecue or beach vacation? Concerned about serious complications that could occur from leaving varicose veins untreated? Vascular health often flies under the radar, as many individuals are unaware of the symptoms and risk factors of vein disease, as well as the treatments available for various venous problems. It’s time to take matters into the hands of board-certified physicians who specialize in treating vein disease. With a convenient new clinic opening in High Point this summer, Novant Health Vein Specialists are ready to repair your vascular health so you can get back to the life you love.

If you’re beginning to experience symptoms of vein disease such as swelling of the legs and ankles, leg cramps, or aching and throbbing in the legs, it may be time to consult a doctor. Vein disorders affect over 25 million Americans. The most frequent causes of vein disease are genetics and pregnancy, but lifestyle factors such as obesity and activity level can also play a role in developing vascular problems.

Although venous issues are typically not life-threatening, untreated varicose veins and venous insufficiency can potentially cause serious health and circulatory issues down the road. Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT), a more serious venous condition, is less common but carries significantly more risk, as patients with untreated DVT are more susceptible to suffering from a pulmonary embolism – a condition in which a blood clot blocks one or more arteries in the lungs.

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While complications from vein disorders are a nuisance and can be frightening, seeking treatment doesn’t have to be. Physicians at Novant Health Vein Specialists (NHVS) have been tremendously improving the quality of their patients’ lives in the Triad for years.

Patients can expect top-notch care and bedside manner from their providers, which has helped the practice build its stellar reputation among the community. While many health practices experience high turnover among physicians and staff, doctors at NHVS have become a family. Doctors Ashley Rickey, C. Ray Workman, Joel Deonanan, R. Bradley Thomason, III, Phil Moore, and Shawn Fleming are currently accepting new patients at their Winston-Salem, Kernersville, and High Point locations, and have years of history working together in building patients’ trust and renewing their vascular health. NHVS is also home to highly skilled Physicians Assistants. Jean Goff has worked tirelessly as a PA for years and is now accompanied by the team’s newest PA, Kristen Wright. For patients who would feel more comfortable being seen by a female doctor as opposed to a man, Dr. Ashley Rickey welcomes you. Not only is she highly respected in her field, but she is also a die-hard Clemson fan – all of which are great qualities for putting a smile on her patients’ faces when helping to return them to the quality of life they deserve.

Did you know that Novant Health Vein Specialists is one of the only practices in the Triad offering deep vein work and wound care for patients suffering from vein disease? Although spider vein or topical laser procedures are offered at various clinics in the area,

it’s imperative to find qualified surgeons when it comes to deep venous work – making NHVS a saving grace for patients throughout the Triad. Minimally invasive, out-patient vein ablation procedures allow patients to experience almost immediate relief from pain and suffering caused by varicose veins with little to no scarring. Additionally, free venous health consultations are offered twice per month at the practice’s Winston-Salem location to assist patients in jumpstarting their vascular care. With the opening of their newest clinic in High Point this summer, patients can expect the same great quality and availability of free consultations as well.

Novant Skin and Vein

During patient consultations, doctors use ultrasound technology to pinpoint venous leaks before treatment to ensure that the root of the problem has been identified. The practice’s Vascular Lab performs thousands of studies per year and utilizes state-ofthe-art equipment to provide physicians with in-depth vascular imaging and testing. The highly-trained physicians at NHVS invest in regularly continuing their education and are in constant communication with other vascular doctors to stay on top of the latest vascular health research and technology. To help patients better understand vein disease, the practice offers online educational tools such as blog posts to answer any questions or ease any hesitancy in individuals considering treatment. Doctors at NHVS are devoted to making sure their patients are comfortable and satisfied with the care they receive and look forward to treating patients at any one of their three convenient locations in Winston-Salem, Kernersville, and their newest clinic in High Point.

Ready to speak with a doctor? Visit the practice’s website at salemveins.com to schedule a screening, consultation, and see before-and-after photos of NHVS patients, as well as videos. Call 336-306-8075 to make an appointment or learn more information.

Go check out their new location in High Point at 1226 Eastchester Drive, Ste. 100. Your summer legs will thank you!

June 2021 | 81

The Fresh Food RX Program

BY LAUREN SEPHTON

With hearts that ached to serve the most vulnerable within their community, Drs. Rachel Zimmer and Kimberly Montez saw a need that went beyond their daily work in mobile health clinics, home visits, and nutritional support.

As resources became scarcer each day, they worked fast to find funding through various grants and organizations just in time to start the Fresh Food RX Program only shortly after a state of national emergency was declared in the US during March of last year.

The Fresh Food RX is a Winston-Salem-based program that partners with local farmers, HOPE of Winston-Salem, Providence WS, Second Harvest Food Bank, New Communion, and Fair Share Farm to provide over 100 older adults each week with fresh produce and prepackaged meals tailored to meet their dietary needs. They initially relied on volunteers from the community and the Section of Gerontology at Wake Forest School of Medicine to provide their patients with home deliveries each week. Last November, the program was blessed in receiving the CAREs Act funding to continue their home deliveries, now meeting the needs of over 120 older adults and families suffering from food insecurity.

Curious about the process behind this generous act of kindness? It’s starts with Love Out Loud, a platform for donations to be made on behalf of the program, as well as an easy platform for volunteers to sign up to help during their free time. Then you have Emma, co-owner of Fair Share Farm, who decides what items will go into the box that week based on what is seasonally and

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locally available, as well as what participants seem to enjoy the most. She also tries to take into consideration participants’ feedback on produce that is easiest to enjoy without much preparation, such as less bulky vegetables that are safe to cut. In addition, Emma handles all coordination with growers and distributors, such as the meals provided

by Second Harvest Food Bank and Providence WS. The food is then stored at HOPE of Winston-Salem, who provides refrigerator space and boxes for packing first thing Monday morning. New Communion, a faith-based mobile food pantry, will then deliver the produce boxes and meals each week on behalf of Fresh Food RX. Last but certainly not least, Sheena McNeil, the program coordinator, takes calls and receives feedback from the participants to share with every individual involved, and each week they are reinspired to continue their work for the next.

Emma continued to explain that what keeps her excited “to pack 100+ boxes each week is their feedback from the people receiving the fresh food. They share how good the produce is, the improvement they can see in their health, and most important, the knowledge that without the program, they would not be able to have premium fresh foods because they cannot leave home easily - they are home bound. Every person deserves the joy of excellent produce and I hope that someone would want to do the same for me.”

Learn more about how you can volunteer or donate towards serving those most vulnerable in your community at loveoutloudws.com or email farmers@fairsharefarm.net.

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Banishing Boredom at the Beach this Summer with Sun, Sand, Surf, & Seashells at the Seashore

BY SUSAN B. B. SCHABACKER

Summer’s here, and it’s time to hit the beach! Afraid to swim in the ocean because of sharks?

Here are some cool, creative ways to banish boredom at the beach so everyone can enjoy a fun trip. Make the most out of your seaside visit and make it a special and memorable trip with whatever you do!

Fishing on the pier – Bait that hook and fish for your next meal. Be patient on that pier as you catch some rays and hopefully some fish, too. And, if you end up empty hooked and empty-handed, head over to the local seafood restaurant to make up for your lack of a catch. Enjoy fresh seafood, regardless.

Picnic – There’s something about being beach-bound that just makes you hungry.

Don’t wait till your stomach starts growling and you work up an appetite to break out the picnic basket. Plan your food and beverages ahead of time.

Whether you put together your own meal or take out, spread out the beach towels or blanket, spread out the goods, and bon appétit by the beach.

Search for seashells – Scavenger hunt it out and compare your loot. Do a trade, and reserve your favs for jewelry making. Arts and crafts ideas are endless, so search online for inspiration. But seashells are works of art in of themselves.

And if you’d rather leave some for others to enjoy, take quick pics as mementos, and look them up online to find out which kinds they are.

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Read books, eBooks, or magazines – No need to neglect that racy romance novel as you sip your fav beverage, dig your toes into the sand, and sunbathe like a mermaid on your beach towel.

Bonfire – Whether you’re telling stories, dancing around, or toasting marshmallows, the beachside bonfire beckons.

Volleyball, hula hoop, jump rope, fly a kite, or throw a frisbee – get fit with 2- and 4-legged family and friends as you burn some calories and have some frolicking fun.

Build sandcastles and sand art – Get creative with building sandcastles, sand statues, and sand art. Google them, and get sand-spired. What could be better than to decorate your sand stuff with seashells you find along the seashore? Embellish your sand art with seashells, seaweed, and use a twig, chopstick, or plastic utensil to carve with.

Write messages and draw in the sand, using a stick, shovel, utensil, or chopstick.

Love letter in the sand?

Could be better than texting.

Read each other’s words and drawings you share back and forth, like a dialogue.

Challenge yourselves by communicating solely with sand messages. P.S. Don’t forget to include hearts, x’s, and o’s for your loved ones.

Crab or clam collecting – Be a ninja netter, scouting out shallow waters like muddy bays, harbors, and estuaries where they tend to dwell. What to use as bait? Fish carcasses, wet dog food, and raw chicken parts are alluring aromas for crabs. Crabby about crabbing? Go clamming instead. Check the forecast, and head out at low tide. Search for coin-sized depressions in the sand, and dig for clams with a rake and shovel. Have your bucket ready to drop them into.

However you decide to spend your beach trip as you banish boredom, don’t forget the basics: stay safe from the sun with a high SPF, sunnies, hat, and coverup, and stay hydrated by packing extra water bottles.

Remember, the world is your oyster, and the beach is your getaway. And, don’t miss out on the fresh (or fried) oysters!

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: D DE e

ud R N g n E ei B F t ’ n F on Is

O ing an Opini

N

BY JEN

BROW ICZAK OLEN

Hav

You’re in the middle of one of the (many) heated conversations that we’ve probably been part of over the past few years.

You’ve got your opinion, it’s clear, specific, tested, tried, and true – and the person you’re talking to doesn’t agree with you. They’ve been stating their opinion for much of the conversation, and you decide to finally tell them that you don’t agree with what they are saying.

And their reaction isn’t a calm ok or a clear discussion about the difference in opinions. It’s quite reactive: they accuse you of being rude for expressing your opinion (even though they were expressing theirs the entire time all along). The responses continue to elevate, both of you are getting hurt feelings and the conversation abruptly ends.

Sound like something you’ve experienced? I think with social media and the immediacy of comments and reactions, coupled with the lack of social conversations we’ve regularly experienced in the past year, we’re having a collective experience of struggling with a difference in opinion, assertive communication, and the need to be placated to.

The problem is, people don’t necessarily know how to disagree respectfully. And when one person disagrees first, the other person might feel they are being rude – even if they are just being straightforward and to the point!

So how do we check our emotions, avoid getting offended and understand that folks aren’t being rude by disagreeing?

Read on, and regardless of what side of the disagreement you’re on, next time put some of these tips in action.

…IF YOU DISAGREE… Ok, let’s take this position first. The conversation is going on around you and someone says something you disagree with. Not just “Oh, I feel differently” but something that you disagree with in your bones to the point that you have to say something. First off: check your feelings. This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t be feeling, it is to say that you need to be aware of how you respond when you feel a certain way. One of my favorite ways to do this: start checking in with a feeling wheel. Google the “feeling wheel” and use it to identify your emotions in conversations – both when you’re disagreeing, being disagreed with, and just having a normal conversation. Use statements like, “I feel [emotion]” and even if you don’t say it out loud – identify it!

Now the important part – how do you communicate when you are feeling “bad” versus feeling “good”?

When you feel bad, you probably communicate in a less than perfect manner. If you’re disagreeing with someone and you feel bad already, you’re probably going to easily get offended and feel like someone is attacking you if they push back. Does this mean avoid the disagreement? No – it means take a beat before you respond or engage in a “fight.” You’re responsible for relaying your opinion clearly and respectfully – you are not responsible for how they respond. If you’re expressing disagreement, try: I hear what you’re saying [summarize or reiterate] and I disagree. I think [what you think].

…IF YOU’RE BEING DISAGREED WITH… The first thing here: check-in. The same rules apply as above! Take a moment to think about what the other person is saying: are they issuing a personal attack?

Are they being straight and to the point and asserting facts? Too often, we confuse a direct statement – assertive or not – as rude, and often it is not! Before you jump on the defensive, take a beat and determine what they are saying. If you want to keep discussing it, try: Can you tell me more about what you think?

This is a great way to continue the conversation, especially if you’re trying to discuss versus argue.

And remember: you can’t change how someone communicates, only how you respond.

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Who Would

Have Guessed?

Historical Predictions of Our Current World

BY MEGAN TAYLOR

At one time or another, we all imagine what the future would look like. Will there by flying cars? Will there be robots helping with household chores? Most of the time, our imaginative predictions don’t come to life. However, there have been moments when the historical predictions of our current world have come true. For example, in 1909, Thomas Edison and engineer and inventor Nikola Tesla once discussed the possibility of people walking around with phones in their pockets. Today, those phones are now our cellphones. Whether you say these people have time machines or could see into the future, the prediction of cellphones is just one of the many that have come into fruition. Let’s take a look at the historical predictions of our current world.

THE SINKING OF THE TITANIC – In 1898, author Morgan Robertson wrote “Futility, Or the Wreck of the Titan.” This story tells readers about an unsinkable ship that sank after hitting an iceberg. Sound familiar? Maybe people are saying Robertson predicted the Titanic and its tragic sinking. Yet, Titanic scholar Paul Heyer adds to this myth by saying Robertson was a known sailor and observed the changes ships were taking, such as getting bigger over the years. Robertson saw this as a threat of what could happen.

THE CREATION OF THE INTERNET – Mark Twain can often be credited for the idea of the World Wide Web. In a 1898 short story, “From the ‘London Times’ of 1904,” Twain saw a world where readers used a connected phone system to create a worldwide network for sharing information and communicating with others. This invention, he called the “telelectroscope,” would one day be turned into a site with multiple uses, advantages, and a few disadvantages.

THE POPULATION OF THE UNITED STATES – Former president of Yale University, Ezra Stiles, was once studying the population growth of Europe. In 1783, Stiles predicted that America would reach a population of 300 million people within 200 years. And by 1983, the United States’ population had hit 300 million.

THE COLD WAR – Alexis de Tocqueville wrote in his book, Democracy in America, that two great nations, Russia and America, seemed to be moving towards the same goal. “…Each seems called by some secret desire of Providence one day to hold in its hand the destinies of half the world.” This reflection was made in 1840, but de Tocqueville’s words mean both countries wanted power and an evident fight would take place to take possession of the power, hence the Cold War.

THE APOLLO 11 MOON LANDING – In 1865, French novelist Jules Verne described a man’s trip to the moon through his short story “From the Earth to the Moon.” Now, Verne may have been a time traveler since he predicted the name of the rocket ship, the number of astronauts making the trip, and rocket launching from Florida. Another peculiar aspect, Verne noted about the weightless feeling of space, meaning the prediction of gravity. Take in mind, the theory of gravity had already been discovered by Sir Isaac Newton about 200 years earlier. Still, the observations are a crazy tale.

THE SIMPSONS PREDICTIONS – One eerie discovery many T.V. watchers have made is the many storylines The Simpsons have told on their show, years before aspects of the storylines even existed in reality. The hit show has accurately predicted autocorrect, smart watches, Super Bowls, Disney buying 20th Century Fox, the Ebola outbreak, and video chats. These crazy coincidences have made headlines over the years and some people look to the show for what could come next.

No one knows what the future will bring. We can make all the predictions we want to, but until it happens, nothing is set in stone. Don’t let that stop you from thinking about what may be or taking note of what others are saying. The future is wide open, so why not have some fun coming up with memorable events, new inventions, and more?

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BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

This column is dedicated to uplifting incredible women that might not be featured in the local news about their accomplishments.

These are abridged versions of these incredible women; please find them and ask them more!

CASSEY MAPP-AHMED

FAITH MCKNIGHT

What makes me who I am consists of the many layers of my past, present and future. My past consists of my elders and upbringing in the mountains of Asheville, NC, where I was taught to love wholeheartedly, embrace nature and to live in my truth. As a result, I became an educator, community advocate and holistic healer to support the roots of health/wellness to encourage living life with no fear. As I became older, I realized that living in the absence of fear allows your body not to be in “disease,” but in the positive vibration of life. I always remember to “work, live and feel out loud, while embracing the example of love in nature.”

I don’t take NO for an answer! I am persistent and have a creative mind which is always trying to keep up with the changing world. I am constantly learning and thriving along the way. I’ve come across many obstacles and hardships which resulted in many sleepless nights. These are what have motivated me to keep going. COVID has pushed me to change gears but not quit. I had to close my shop; however, a new location bakery cafe is in the works.

What are you most proud of?

I never gave up despite obstacles that came my way or the negative thoughts of not being good enough. I am still standing and rising. I am amazed at how much I’ve improved within my business and my craft. I like to praise myself for doing a lot of things some bakers are not willing to do which sets me apart from others.

Cake pops are a client favorite and I am an expert at doing them. I am currently a featured vendor at Buie’s Market, and you can go there weekly to find some of our baked goods and drinks. I also have a contract with Arbor Acres Methodist Church Retirement, and I love that I remind the folks of their grandma’s baked goods. I make old school favorites such as Caramel Cake, Sweet Potato Cake, and my favorite to make is Hummingbird Cake, which is made by hand.

What makes you YOU?

My most proud experience is my self-healing journey to have the courage to discover true happiness within myself in the absence of fear to “TRULY LIVE OUT LOUD.” To be comfortable in living my life for me and knowing that this is an endless journey, which allows me to continuously evolve to become a better version of me. Through my efforts of authentically living life wholeheartedly, in the absence of fear, allows my son to witness the transformation of inner peace and the ability to find strength within to truly be comfortable with who you are in this life. As well as teaching my 8-year-old Amir resiliency in entrepreneurship to build his business for success.

What keeps you going when things are tough?

My motivation, especially during challenging times, is MY REASON WHY! I have learned that God has placed me on this earth for a short time to live for a divine purpose. My purpose to live and speak in my truth and to enjoy each moment, while embracing the power of life by assisting others to create and bring life into the world as a full-spectrum. I also feel great purpose through coaching others to look inward to find their true happiness to “Live Out Loud Unapologetically.”

What keeps you up at night?

It brings me great pleasure to be at a place in my life that my anxiety at night has transformed into joy, lessons learned and gratitude for what the next day brings. This transformation of thought has developed through the support of my divine Village and memorable life experiences. It is truly a blessing to wake up to another day full of possibilities!

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What makes you?

What are you most proud of?

What keeps me going when things get tough?

My faith and confidence in myself, my family and friends who are my biggest fans. The Universe also plays a part in it. Just when I want to give it all up, I receive some kind of confirmation that this is my calling.

What keeps you up at night?

Most of the time it’s orders. It’s a blessing to be busy, but you have to make time for yourself. I try not to let it overwhelm me. I also worry about the effects of COVID on my business and just keep pivoting and thinking of ways to survive.

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June 2021 | 91

s p i h s d n e i Fr k a e r B o t Have you ever been in a friendship where you: • felt unsupported, stifled, or drained?

• felt your needs were overlooked?

• were made to feel bad about yourself?

If so, it’s quite possible that friendship was “toxic.”

I once became fast friends with a brilliant woman. We had lots in common and thoroughly enjoyed each other’s company both inside and outside of work…until I slowly began to realize that no matter what I gave of my time, attention, and empathy, it was never enough.

I couldn’t ignore that, while I was feeling stifled, boxed-in, and increasingly judged, I didn’t know what to do about it.

We women often have a hard time ending friendships that are or that become toxic. We feel trapped and in some way “guilty,” because, well, we’re friends…we should accept one another for who we are. Or should we? Florence Isaacs, author of Toxic Friends/True Friends offers this food for thought: “You want the right amount of reciprocity of affection and assistance in a friendship…so if you’ve got a friend who is always in need, always in trouble, always wants to talk about her problems, then there isn’t any reciprocity if there isn’t any room for you in the friendship. It doesn’t have to be 50-50 every minute, but overall, there should be some kind of balance in which you feel you are getting your needs met, and so is she.”

Toxicity takes many forms in friendship. When women describe the “types” of friendships that feel off-balance, they often use the shorthand of labels: She’s a user, a critic, a drama queen, a flake, a gossip, an energy vampire, maybe even a “witch.” Whatever the term, remember that if the friendship isn’t satisfying, if your needs aren’t being met, and the balance is all off, you might consider a breakup.

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BY JEAN MARIE JOHNSON

BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO As women, feeling connected in meaningful relationships is central to our sense of self and our contentment. We find it difficult to initiate a breakup because we: • are loyal and feel we owe that much to our friend • think we can change them or that they will somehow manage to do so • think any friend is better than no friend at all • don’t want to hurt our friend’s feelings Any number of these reasons may be holding us back from ending a relationship that no longer works. There is one more reason we hang on and endure: we don’t know how to call it quits.

HOW TO BREAK UP Recognize when it’s toxic – check in with your feelings, with the balance of give and take, and look closely at the prevailing dynamic.

Take responsibility – a toxic relationship is hurtful to you and that’s not good; consider if your tendency to please or to avoid conflict is getting in the way here.

Refresh your boundaries – start saying “No” when her actions and expectations drain you, and begin to let her know when she crosses a line.

Run it by someone you trust – it can be helpful to get another perspective from someone who has no vested interest in which way things go.

Tell her your truth or allow things to fade away – consider whether telling her why things aren’t working anymore can be helpful to both of you. Doing so with kindness and respect will make you feel better about ending things. Otherwise, you might gradually disappear by declining invites and not initiating interaction.

End the friendship – resist the temptation to back pedal; remind yourself of the “why’s” behind the breakup.

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Hungry for Hope: Neighbors Helping Neighbors

BY TABATHA RENEGAR

If you’re like me, each year when you see the billboards and advertisements for Crisis Control Ministry’s (CCM) signature event, Hope du Jour, you start making notes. In case you’re not familiar, Hope du Jour is a partnership between CCM and over 140 local food and beverage businesses throughout Forsyth County that for one day, always the first Tuesday of May, donate 10% of their sales that day back to CCM. So, when the list of participating restaurants was published, plans would be made to eat out that day for each meal!

Plans will be made differently this year as CCM, like so many nonprofits, has had to pivot and rethink their fundraising efforts and strategies.

And I happen to think this is one of the best examples of making lemonade from lemons in a post-pandemic world!

This year, the Development Team at CCM understood that their Hope du Jour partners were still struggling financially because of the economic impact of the pandemic, and they wanted to do something to support them and drive business to their doors. Therefore, the decision was made not to host the 31st Annual Hope du Jour this year, and instead, Hungry for Hope was created.

For the entire month of June, CCM will be advertising local food and beverage businesses that have participated in Hope du Jour in the past with one goal: to get the community to support local food and beverage establishments.

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Many of the participating restaurants have supported neighbors in crisis for over 15 years!

This year, CCM will not be asking for a donation from Hope du Jour partners. Hungry for Hope is a way for Crisis Control Ministry to say “thank you” to all the previous participants of Hope du Jour that are still in business and to encourage the community to patronize their establishments.

The campaign sponsors, along with CCM staff and volunteers, want to give local food and beverage businesses that have supported the Ministry and helped neighbors in crisis for years free advertising to help them survive the pandemic. In lieu of donations, Crisis Control Ministry will use the Hungry for Hope marketing campaign to spread awareness of CCM and the services they offer to those experiencing a time of financial crisis.

If that doesn’t epitomize the meaning of ‘community,’ I am not sure what does!

So, this month, I have bookmarked: hopedujour. org/find-a-restaurant/ and will look forward to doing my part to support the neighbors who have worked so hard to keep moving forward, serving and providing for you and me. Next year, I’ll enjoy a day of restaurant hopping on May 3, 2022!

For the complete list of dozens of restaurants and business in the area that would love to see you during Hungry for Hope, visit: hopedujour.org/ find-a-restaurant/.

Hope du Jour

REALITY TV

Why We Love It & What It Means for Society

BY AMY HILL

Reality television has been on air for decades, much to every middleaged father’s chagrin, and has rapidly become one of the most dominating genres of television for its targeted audience of 18 to 49-year-olds. From The Real World in the early 1990s to competition shows such as Survivor, reality TV fans throughout the nation have seen their favorite shows evolve season after season - and not always for the better.

With the increase in social media and the ease of reading season spoilers and behind-the-scenes gossip online, viewers are no longer naive to the disingenuousness of not-so-reality television.

Young adults and teenage viewers might have been devastated to later learn that not everything they saw unfold on MTV’s The Hills actually happened in real life as it was portrayed. The reactions, confrontations, and wise one-liners from cast members were often conjured up by production - sometimes even in the form of voiceovers post-filming. It was easy to fool viewers in the 1990s and early 2000s, but now that consumers have caught on, why are they still tuned in?

The magic of reality TV is still very much alive because humans are naturally gluttons for observing other humans. This would explain the phenomenon of how Youtube videos consisting solely of someone sitting on their sofa and eating their weight in Panda Express receive millions of views. On the other hand, many people would rather watch football or history documentaries, and have no interest in which Beverly Hills housewife hosted yet another dramafilled dinner party. What makes someone susceptible to being sucked into the world of reality TV - whether they’re watching or auditioning for a role?

Individual differences in personality may account for why some are more vulnerable to contracting the reality TV virus than others.

According to a 2018 article in Psychology Today, individuals higher in trait voyeurism prefer this genre of television over others. No need to worry - trait voyeurism is not the same as clinical voyeurism, which is viewed as sexually deviant or immoral. Researcher Lemi Baruh describes trait voyeurism in regards to television-watching

as “seeking safe ways of having access and/or experiences that would be otherwise inaccessible, and something enjoyed opportunistically.” In a sense, this is the equivalent to why some people can easily pass time by people-watching in a shopping mall or crowded airport while others prefer engaging in conversation.

Additionally, watching reality television possibly serves as a form of indirect social stimulation for those on the more introverted side or those suffering from social anxiety. These individuals are able to relate to others on television and feel as if they have a friendship with reality TV stars without risking social rejection. On the other hand, are reality TV stars necessarily the right people to form vicarious friendships with?

It’s no secret that researchers have found a correlation between celebrities and trait narcissism. According to another article in Psychology Today, a 2009 study conducted by researchers Mark Young and Drew Pinsky discovered that celebrities scored higher on the Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI) than control participants in the study. The histrionics necessary for successfully catapulting one’s career as a drama-starting, overreacting reality star require higher levels of narcissism and self-esteem than are found in the average population working a 9-5 job. While high levels of narcissism and a tendency to fly off the handle aren’t necessarily the best traits for someone interested in an accounting career to possess, they certainly come in handy for those craving a life in the public eye.

With these findings, it’s natural to be concerned about the implication of reality TV’s effects on society - especially in teenagers and young adults. Because there’s no end in sight for the seemingly problematic genre of television, it’s imperative that parents monitor what their teens are watching and educate them on actual reality versus the “reality” they see on Bravo. If young viewers are aware that throwing a wine glass at your dinner party guests during an argument isn’t normal or acceptable behavior off-camera, they will be less likely to normalize and reenact the toxic behaviors they see on their screens. Teach young consumers to view reality television as nothing more than the virtual circus it truly is.

Sources: psychologytoday.com/us/blog/why-bad-looks-good/201801/how-reality-tv-preferences-reveal-personality psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-narcissism-epidemic/200906/the-normal-narcissism-reality-tv

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June 2021 | 97

Kimchi and Korean Food Lovers Rejoice!

Cook Your Next Korean Meal at Home

BY SUSAN B. B. SCHABACKER

Love kimchi? Craving Korean food, but rather DIY at home? Skip the trip to the local Korean restaurant and try cooking your own delicious and nutritious meal in your own kitchen.

However simple or complex you decide to go, here are some recipes to try and share.

Be it bibimbap or bulgogi, learn to cook basic Korean dishes and apply the art of substituting whatever ingredients are already in your fridge and pantry.

Save an extra trip to the grocery store, conserve food, and save money, while you enjoy your own Korean-inspired meal. As a Korean American, I love to create mouthwatering Korean dishes whether spicy, savory, salty, or sweet.

For those of us who can’t afford or don’t always have the refrigerator and pantry stocked with every imaginable ingredient, creativity can come in handy when you’re missing an ingredient.

Cooking is not an exact science and it helps to think outside the box.

If you’re in an ambitious multi-tasking mode, you may be okay with using every burner on your stove top, even if it requires extra dishwashing.

But, for those who prefer to keep the post-meal dishwashing to a minimum, you may be better off with a one-pot-meal. It just requires some think-through strategizing prior to cooking.

A Korean-style ramen dish is a great place to start if you love a good one-pot meal. For added antioxidants, you can boil noodles or rice with organic broth and green tea instead of water.

Drop in some slow cooking sweet potatoes or other root veggies.

For protein, you can add in an egg, chunks of chicken, beef, or seafood (fish, shrimp, or scallops), tofu, or tempeh in any combination. Finally, add in some quick cooking veggies such as spinach or bok choy. You can always add a variety of different colored veggies to your dish, so who says you can’t throw in some chopped cucumbers, radishes, carrots, or even beets?

Here is a recipe for cooking a fav Korean dish, bibimbap, a healthy staple perfect for those trying to avoid sugar.

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BIBIMBAP - GLUTEN-FREE AND VEGAN FRIENDLY Ingredients: • Drizzles of EVOO (extra virgin olive oil), avocado oil, or toasted sesame oil for a nutty flavor • ¾ cup brown rice, white rice, wild rice, black rice, quinoa, or couscous • 1½ cups vegetable, chicken, beef, miso broth, or water, plus 2 green tea bags (optional) • 3 cups of a variety of vegetables, such as carrots, cabbage, zucchini, yellow squash, butternut squash, eggplant, onions, and/or spinach • 1 cup bean sprouts, mushrooms, and/or edamame • 2 large eggs • 2 stalks chopped green onion • 2 cloves minced garlic • 2 Tablespoons liquid aminos, soy sauce, or tamari to taste • 1 Tablespoon or more of kimchi • 1 teaspoon sesame seeds (optional garnish) • Drizzles of gochujang sauce, siracha, oyster sauce, hoisin sauce, or other sauce (to taste)

Instructions: 1. Boil rice or other grain in liquid with green tea (optional) until tender, but not mushy and remove from heat.

2. Add oil to a saucepan, add minced garlic, lower heat, and stir till slightly browned.

3. Add veggies that take the longest time to cook, then add the quickest cooking veggies according to timing.

4. Stir in liquid aminos or soy sauce and remove from heat.

5. Transfer mixed veggies onto plate and set aside, add oil to the same pan and fry eggs.

To serve: Add cooked rice or grain to a bowl, arrange veggies overtop, followed by fried eggs, sprinkle with chopped green onion and sesame seeds (optional) as a garnish. Complete the dish with kimchi and sauce(s) of choice.

Bibimbap Recipe Adapted from: minimalistbaker.com/ easy-bibimbap-with-gochujang-sauce/ Remember, it’s up to you how simple or complex you want to get with your approach to cooking. If you’re tired of the “same ole” and want to try something less traditional, don’t be afraid to explore new options and experience this colorful array of veggies and rice with a nice crispy crunch. You never know until you try it and it may become your new fav!

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BY

JE N

O LE N IC ZA K

BR O W N

ng ISM yo : u? r vi

I e ON ts

PE RF Is ECT i

Ever want to make things “just right” and you keep trying and trying, and you just can’t get it there?

Have you ever stopped to think about where “there” is?

That’s the problem with perfectionism: the goalpost keeps moving. No matter how hard you try, you can’t hit that perfect point where everything is “right” because you don’t know what right is!

If this sounds too true, you might be in the process of being a recovering perfectionist. And you can get through this, I promise.

First off, perfectionism isn’t always helpful – and I very specifically say that phrase, “isn’t always” – there are instances where perfect is important. If you’re a perfectionist, you might find it is effective when you need a high level of attention to detail or need to be sure something is right.

That isn’t true all the time, however – there are a lot of instances where your perfectionism will not serve you and will hold you back. That’s step one: check in to see where your perfectionism serves you; that is, where does it help you do your job better?

Those are the moment that you don’t have to “fix.”

The other moments?

The places where your perfectionism only hinders progress and hurts your work? That’s where you have to zoom in with the following ideas.

IDENTIFY

Be specific! What are the moments that aren’t being served by perfectionism? Be specific in identifying those moments and choose one to start zeroing in on. For example, perhaps your perfectionism is helpful when dealing with client files, but isn’t serving you when you’re having a meeting with a client. That’s the behavior you’re going to start with.

WORST CASE

What will happen if everything goes wrong? What if the worst thing happens, what will it look like, what

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will you do and what is the chance that it will happen?

That’s the big one, right? Let’s revisit the last example – perfectionism isn’t serving you when you’re meeting with a client. What’s the worst thing that could happen if you get it “wrong” in this client meeting? Go there – all the way there! Lean into the anxiety and the little voice that is just saying the absolute worst things. So that “worst thing” might be the client leaving and getting angry, causing you to lose your job.

WILL THAT HAPPEN? Probably not.

So why are you letting that worstcase hold you back?

This is a major part of perfectionism – many folks are perfectionists because they don’t want to make a mistake or “screw up” and that’s fine – the problem comes in when you stop yourself from success by letting the need to be perfect override the process of actually getting the thing done!

WHAT’S ENOUGH?

When you start a task that you might fall into perfectionism with (like the one we identified earlier) make sure to figure out what the product needs to look like when you’re done. Yes, it won’t be “perfect” – but does it need to be? What is enough to make you sufficiently comfortable to move to the next thing? Again, back to that earlier example: meeting with a client. If you’re going to beat yourself up if you alter your perfect planned presentation, then don’t plan it so perfectly! Allow space and time for you to “riff” in a presentation and small talk with the client.

Figure out the goal that works – especially so you can dedicate the time you would worry about being perfect to other things that need to get done.

NOTE THE GOOD

When you do something that you aren’t tripping over your perfectionism with – and everything turns out ok – make note of that good situation! You don’t have to have a parade or anything like that, but you should take note of the positive. Next time you’re worried about something being perfect, refer to this noted good!

Winston-Salem Dash

or Tattoo y a D e r Fr o t i S e n d d r s o An almost-tattooed man by the name of Tim walks into a record store. This isn’t the beginning of a joke, but a true story of one past Record Store Day spent camped out in front of Winston-Salem’s very own, Underdog Records.

Record Store Day is an annual event in which exclusive, limited titles are sold worldwide to local record stores in hopes of driving traffic to smaller, independent shops, like Underdog Records. It’s first-come, first-serve. There are no online sales, no phone holdings, and a whole laundry list of other rules. The bottom line is that there’s great vinyl to purchase if you can be present.

And so, Tim, like many others, decided he would camp out in front of his favorite record store all night long in hopes of being one of the first in the door for this special sale.

The night was spent on the sidewalk in lawn chairs talking about music with old and new friends. Everything from concert stories, to debates about artists, to what the best item on the Record Store Day list truly was, to strategy for inside the store was a topic of conversation. And somewhere between these words and goofing off grew a camaraderie.

Buzzed on the event’s energy, Tim and his camping “crue” stormed into the tattoo parlor across the street ready to put in ink what Record Store Day at Underdog means to them. The sentiment would have been a yellow adapter for 45 rpm records and written over it, the acronym RSDC, Record Store Day Crue (Crue like Motley Crue.) Too bad the parlor didn’t take walk-ins, hence the almost tattooed man.

Tim is Tim Beeman, local podcaster and vinyl enthusiast, and he found himself, like many other regulars, caught up in the authenticity of Jonathan Hodges’ store, Underdog Records, and the strong friendships that he had built there.

“It is a warm and welcoming place with a warm and welcoming owner,” Tim said. “Once you’re in that store, you’ll want to come back.”

Jordan Willett had a similar story, with entirely different roots. She’s from Sanford, and is also a member of the almost-inked RSDC. When speaking about first discovering Underdog Records with her dad, Jordan was

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pleasantly surprised about her visits to see Jonathan.

“He was very appreciative of us being there. We told him we would definitely be coming back, and sure enough, the next couple of times I went back, he remembered me!” Jordan recalled. “It was just, ‘Hey—Jordan, right? So, you headed to Boone or back home?’ He just remembered.”

s? hip

Re c

BY SAVANNAH NORRIS

When asking Jordan about the energy of Record Store Day at Underdog, she described it like it was Christmas.

“Everyone is so giddy and so excited while we’re camping out.

And then the store opens up, we go in and get everything, and we come out, and everyone is just talking ‘Oh, what did you get?’

‘Here, look at this,’” she said like children say it. “And everyone is so kind. They want to help you get what you came looking for—that find, that treasure. You see people helping other people.”

Jordan and her dad make the drive, happily, to Winston from Sanford solely for Jonathan and his shop. That’s because Underdog Records is not just a participating store in Record Store Day. Jonathan, the owner, remembers everyone the way he remembered Jordan. He’s a huge baseball fan and runs a sale to celebrate when the Braves win. He buys donuts and coffee for people who have camped out for the event. He cares. Jonathan is your neighborhood record store, but he is also a good neighbor and a friend to everyone he meets.

To anyone thinking about coming out to Underdog Records for Record Store Day this year, Jordan’s advice is to go and join everyone.

“You’ll fall in love with the people. You’ll fall in love with Record Store Day. With Jonathan. With the area. There is nothing but love there.

It’s not just a record store; it’s a community,” Jordan explained.

And maybe, you don’t attempt to get a tattoo. But it’s likely you will find some friendships there on Burke Street.

“Even if you’re not one of us weirdos that camps out all night,” Tim said, “if you love music and you love records, Underdog is the place to be.”

This June 12th, the doors open at 8 a.m. for Underdog Record’s Record Store Day. But, you might want to show up a little early.

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Retirement:

Understanding the Effects of Isolation and Loneliness on Seniors

BY JEAN MARIE JOHNSON

“Of all the experiences we need to survive and thrive, it is the experience of relating to others that is the most meaningful and important.”

- Louis Cozolino, Ph. D A little girl faces a window, holding up a handmade card for her elderly neighbor to see as they exchange distanced smiles through two layers of glass. An elderly man places a sign in his front yard: “Lonely, please help.” If you’ve watched any news or gone online in the past year, you’ve seen stories that poignantly capture the isolation and loneliness of seniors in our country. These tear-at-yourheartstrings images speak to the heartache of millions, including those our own community and neighborhoods.

As a culture, we have a challenge on our hands.

A national survey conducted just before COVID 19 appeared on the universal radar indicated that 50% of baby boomers feel lonely. A few months later, another study found that 56% of older adults felt “isolated.” This is cause for alarm because that number had doubled in the span of just two years.

Social isolation is the physical state of being separated from other people. Loneliness is different; it is the feeling of being alone or separated – even if you are among others. Humans are social creatures; even the introverted amongst us need to experience connection with others.

Louis Cozolino, professor of psychology at Pepperdine University explains. “How we bond and stay attached to others is at the core of our resilience, self-esteem, and physical health…We build the brains of our children through our interaction with them, and we keep our own brains growing and changing throughout life by staying connected to others.”

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EFFECTS OF ISOLATION & LONELINESS ON SENIORS

For seniors, recent studies confirm that the physical and mental health dangers of isolation and loneliness are significant.

Loneliness: • can lead to increases in blood pressure, obesity, heart disease, and stroke • contributes to stress, depression, anxiety, and suicide • is a risk factor for cognitive decline and increases the risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease Isolation: • is associated with a 50% increased risk of dementia • contributes to unhealthy habits – smoking or drinking in excess and neglecting exercise • puts seniors at greater risk of elder abuse such as financial scams, neglect, and even physical abuse which seniors are often reluctant to report • significantly increases the risk of premature death from all causes

HOPE & GOOD NEWS While we are isolating for good reason during the pandemic, that isolation is clearly harming us. Here’s a ray of hope and good news: studies have shown that seniors who leave their homes on a daily basis lower their risk factors. This was true even for those who engaged in little physical activity or who experienced impaired mobility. The Administration on Aging has noted that even 15 minutes of real-time or virtual interaction a day can lessen feelings of loneliness. I am reminded of a recent, serendipitous conversation with a neighbor I rarely see. “When I asked my wife if we needed anything at the grocery store, she said ‘no.’ So I asked her again. If only to pick up a loaf of bread, I was looking for any reason to get out of the house.”

Getting out of the confines of one’s own home is a very good thing: it increases our sense of engagement as well as the chances of coming into socially-distanced contact with others.

Stay tuned for next month’s issue of Forsyth Woman where we will take a more detailed look at ways to conquer isolation and loneliness.

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Top 10 Reasons You Should Attend

Tour de Boutique 2021!

1 2

All participants receive exclusive Forsyth Woman apparel!

Choose between a long sleeve tee / baseball hat combo OR a quarter zip.

(Want both? You can add the other apparel option(s) a la carte when you register)

Exclusive store specials and discounts ONLY for Tour de Boutique shoppers!

3

Lunch is on us! You’ll receive a lunch voucher to Pie Guys’ Pizza & More! If you decide to brunch or lunch somewhere else the day of the tour, you can use your voucher another day. It will be good for the entire month of October.

4

With the self-guided option, you can shop at your own pace!

5

If you’re directionally challenged, we’ve done the work for you! We’ve mapped out the best routes based on several different starting points.

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Quality time with your best girlfriends!

7

DOOR PRIZES! The more stores you visit, the more chance you have to win!

8

Shopping local = a boost for our local economy!

9 10

These boutiques will be rolling out the red carpet for you! You can expect drinks from Thirsty Buffalo, cupcakes from Lei Lei’s cuisine and so much more throughout the day!

Did we mention… you’re supporting local businesses?

MORE DETAILS AND REGISTRATION AT

TINYURL.COM/2021FWTDB Stay in-the-know with all of our @forsythmags events!

Follow us on Instagram and Facebook!

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TEAM FORSYTH MAGS

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WARNING: Unapologetically sarcastic.

WARNING: Extra spicy

WARNING: Will over analyze everything you say

WARNING: Gets distracted easily.

Debbie Barr,

Lauren Sephton,

Tabatha Renegar,

Keela Johnson,

WARNING: Emotionally complex, no warranty included; proceed at your own risk.

WARNING: Ear plugs recommended. May talk too much or too loudly.

WARNING: Be prepared to say ‘yes.’

(So, apparently, I’m persuasive…)

WARNING: Sometimes jumps to decisions before thinking them through.

Vonda Henderson,

Kim Beane,

Aron Daniels,

Karen Cooper,

WARNING: Coffee required before activation with periodic refreshers during the day for maximum results.

WARNING: Will become completely and utterly obsessed and consumed with something (hobby, food, person) in one minute, and then totally over and done with it the next.

WARNING: I did not get enough sleep last night and if you ask me for anything before I’ve had my coffee the answer is no!

WARNING: Brain made up of at least 33% random song lyrics, likely to bust out into song at any time or place if reminded of something worth singing about. * Of note - Not American Idol material

Assistant Content Editor

Writer

Editorial Director

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Writer

Writer

Content Editor

Writer

Writer

Graphic Designer

Writer

Editor

Writer

If you had a warning label, what would yours say?

Brittany Orie,

Carolyn Peterson,

Martie Emory,

Taryn Jerez,

WARNING: I have random bouts of quietness— I’m a deep ponderer.

WARNING: Sees the best, forgiving, but don’t push your luck.

WARNING: Not my usual sweet self during basketball season!

WARNING: Will make you believe you can do anything.

Jean Marie Johnson,

Shonda Bravinder,

Michelle Hyatt,

Jon Eric Johnson,

WARNING: Loses all self-control around chips and salsa.

WARNING: Must insert caffeine to operate, caffeine sold separately.

Writer

Writer

WARNING: Fiery Slovak, deemed “small but mighty.”

Senior Staff Writer

Executive Assistant and Events Manager

WARNING: Easily distracted by babies, puppies and power tools.

Writer

Social Media

Writer

Photographer

Melinda Lamm,

Elisa Coppede,

Kristi Marion, Account Executive

Forsyth Family Publisher

WARNING: I’m very forgetful. Wait, what was the question again?

WARNING: May bite, when not fully caffeinated.

Approach with CAUTION.

WARNING: Punches (hard) when startled and subject to spontaneous exuberant outbursts on coffee!

WARNING: Eternally optimistic and magic inventor of time! I always think I can do more in the time I have available!

Photographer

Writer

Robin Bralley,

FIND YOUR FATHER’S FAVORITES THE DAD’S DAY GIFT GUIDE

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

Shopping for my dad is NOT EASY. I yearn for the years I was in school sometimes. Remember making things for Father’s Day? And your dad, no matter what, took it and pretended to love it (or loved it!), and there was no stress, just a cool art project or fancy card? Whew!

Those were the easy days, even though they were often made of popsicle sticks and too much glue.

Now I’m like, do I go with something that he can use or something he can enjoy? Why can’t I do both? When I ask him what he wants, he jokes and says a DeLorean (true story), but for real, where can I find him something that doesn’t make him cry because that’s not our relationship, but is also great for my dad and not big box commercial, because I clearly cannot afford a DeLorean (yet)? This stress used to happen every year until two years ago when I finally figured it out.

I’ve found that the best gifts I’ve given since those fantastic DIY school gifts are just as thoughtful, just as connected, and just as intentional – and found by shopping local.

You’ve heard why you should shop local: more this past year than any other, I’m sure! But have you looked around a local store or restaurant? When I walk into Foothills, I notice a few things: I recognize servers and bartenders. I pass people I know on the way in. I wave to folks on the street walking by and might even have a longer conversation with the table next to me – local businesses are beautiful examples of our community here in Forsyth County. They are collections of folks that connect around something, whether it be food, goods, or services.

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Shopping local also allows you something special that evokes the same customization as those school-made gifts that you know dad actually liked: something especially for him, not just another toolbox or flashlight. So often, local businesses and small businesses in the area have unique and even one-ofa-kind items that are hard to find in other areas of the country.

By getting dad a growler from his favorite brewery, some cookies specially made for him, or even a watch from a long-standing family jeweler, you’re picking out something intentional – from you and your choices and from a neighbor who works in merchandising at the store, or the owner that lives down the street. It’s not about the money spent; it’s about that intentionality you get from a local shop that just isn’t there when you look at a big box store.

And if you’re like me, and you KNOW local is the way to go, but you still have a difficult, at best, dad to shop for, never fear – our Father’s Day Gift Guide is here! Local businesses will give their picks for gifts for dad, so instead of sitting at home and stressing on Google, enjoy a curated list of places – and presents! – to show dad how much he means after a year where a family has mattered ever so much.

And spoiler alert: my dad doesn’t live here in North Carolina (he’s in Wisconsin), but the best gift we got him, according to him (while he patiently waits for his DeLorean)? Old North Carolina license plates and Cheerwine – gear and the drink.

What are you waiting for? Get out there and be intentional this year by shopping local for Father’s Day for all those dads in your life.

Custom Cigar Box handmade by Co-Owner Van Williams and Cigars infused with our spirits. Available cigar flavors: Bourbon Infused, Rum Infused, Coattail (Cinnamon Whiskey) Infused

Gift Certificates available for any dollar amount to spend in the distillery or the Busted Barrel Cocktail Bar or gift certificates for a tour and tasting at the Distillery

Spirits range from $19.95-$176.80 per bottle.

We produce Whiskies, Bourbons, Rums, and Vodkas

Glassware We have a variety of glassware laser engraved available for purchase including rocks classes and Glencairn glasses.

OLD NICK WILLIAMS FARM & DISTILLERY

located at 2675 Williams Road in Lewisville, NC. Find them online at oldnickwhiskey.com or on Instagram @oldnickwhiskey

Windsor Jewelers Made in the USA, King Baby is fashion jewelry for bikers and rockers at heart.

Crafted in .925 Sterling Silver by master silversmiths, King Baby is a fashion jewelry company that captures the rock ‘n roll spirit in a wide variety of artisan rings, bracelets and necklaces.

Find the perfect piece for your rebel at Windsor Jewelers.

Foothills Brewing Dads love cold beer! And the best way to keep beer cold is with these state-of-the-art DrinkTanks® stainless steel growlers from Foothills Brewing.

Durable, leakproof, dishwasher safe and covered by a lifetime warranty. The last growler Dad will ever need! Available in 64 oz. and 32 oz. sizes at all three locations, or online at foothillsbrewing.com.

Clemmons Bicycle Give Dad aventure this year. There’s a lot of magic in two wheels. www.clemmonsbicycle.com

Cherry Tree Lane Cookies Treat Dad to something sweet this year! Whether he is reaching for a nine iron or a wielding a spatula near the grill on this Father’s Day, we have delicious decorated sugar cookies for the guy in your life. Find a variety of options available on Instagram and Facebook, packaged and ready for gifting. Order today! @cherrytreelanecookies

Castle Lights This year Dad wants to come home to a house that looks like a million bucks. Give your home a giant upgrade with our lighting systems. Watch his face light up. www.castllights.com

Trophy Room Bourbon Bar & Dogwood Hops and Crops Weather it’s a rich dry bourbon or a piney aromatic glass of beer, give Dad what he wants. thetrophyroomws.com | dogwoodhopsandcrops.com

BY TARYN JEREZ OF ONECRAFTYMISS.COM

How to Know When It’s Time to Raise Your Prices This column is meant to serve as a resource for readers who seek inspiration and knowledge for building their own small business brands. Through actionable advice, find the encouragement to help you keep living your life with hustle and heart.

If you’ve ever had a conversation with a grandparent, you’ve probably heard something to the same effect of “Back in my day a soda pop only cost a nickel!” Well, Grandpa was right; times change and so do prices!

When it comes to your business you may not be selling anything for a nickel but when is the last time you thought about raising your prices? Perhaps you are in the thick of the conversation with your inner monologue right now, wondering if it’s time. There might be different reasons for your desire to increase your pricing and while they are all valid, it can sometimes still feel difficult to push the “go” button.

If you aren’t quite sure when to raise your prices, here are a few key things to help you determine if the time is right!

YOUR MARKET IS EXPERIENCING CHANGE In the last 14+ months it’s hard to find a market or industry that hasn’t experienced change! Thanks a lot, global pandemic! Think about what areas of change you’ve encountered or are currently encountering in your business. Have you seen an increase in similar companies or product providers pop up? Have the supplies you use for your business experienced an increase in pricing or heightened demand? These are important elements when determining if your pricing is ready for an uptick as well. If you find your industry is getting more competitive and the demand is higher, that may be your green light to reevaluate and increase your pricing.

YOUR CUSTOMER CONVERSION RATE IS HIGH...A LITTLE TOO HIGH Weeks may go by without really thinking about your customer or client conversions but it’s an important aspect of your sales to consider. A simple way of looking at this as a service based business is for every consultation or inquiry, how many times did you receive an actual sale? If you’re a product based business, it can be a little trickier but ask yourself how many objections versus transactions you’ve had over the year. If your conversions are really high that’s a great thing of course, but it can also be a red flag if those conversions happen with little to no hesitation over and over. It may mean it’s time to raise your prices as the current pricing may be a little too low.

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YOUR HAPPY DANCES ARE LOSING GUSTO Think about that excitement every time you close a sale! The feeling that someone out there wants what you created or trusts that you’re the right person for the job - you know the one! Well, you may not realize it but those happy dance moments over sales may start to get more and more mediocre. Of course, as your business grows you may get used to sales coming in more but check in with yourself to see if that spark is starting to get smaller and smaller. You want to price your work at an amount that feels really fulfilling when you make a sale. It’s important to check in with yourself and ask, “Am I selling my work at a price that matches the value of what I offer?” Challenge yourself to increase your prices the next time you notice you’re losing that gusto in your sales!

Hustle & Heart Challenge

This month think about your current pricing strategy and how it makes you feel. Are you proud of your prices? Do you believe in them? Do they convey the value of what you offer? If you see room for improvement, do you feel confident in moving those dollar amounts up higher or are you held back by fear or insecurity? Remember, you are capable and worthy of creating a profitable business!

iHeart Radio

Books About the History of Winston-Salem

BY MEGAN TAYLOR As the world slowly returns to normal, this year’s summer vacation may still not be the same. Travel plans may be altered and trips closer to home could be on the schedule. Yet, that doesn’t mean memories and fun can’t still be made. One way to do this is by taking a staycation right here in Winston-Salem. Our city is full of historic sites to visit, whether your trip is only a day or spread out through a couple of days. To help prepare for your trip and help pick out what historic sites to see, read up on the history of Winston-Salem. This list is just a handful of books filled with facts and stories. Of course, you don’t have to be taking a staycation just to brush up on your history. These books are perfect for locals and history-fans alike.

WINSTON-SALEM: A TWIN CITY HISTORY

WINSTON-SALEM IN VINTAGE POSTCARDS

WINSTON-SALEM: A HISTORY

by Michael Bricker

by Molly Grogan Rawls

by Frank Tursi

Originally separated into the two cities of Winston and Salem, the twin city has a longstanding history. Author Michael Bricker covers the history of the twin cities, starting with the founding of the Moravian settlement of Salem and the industrial town of Winston, and moves to present day. An interesting aspect to this book is that the perspectives of tobacco and textile industry works are brought in, as well as the transformation of the city after the Civil War, the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Cold War. Often these events are overlooked, but they aren’t in Bricker’s book.

Take a step back in time and explore what Winston-Salem used to look like through vintage postcards. In 1913, Salem and Winston officially joined together as one city. Through this book, readers will get to see postcards and captions about historic landmarks, homes, and neighborhoods of these two cities as separate entities and together. In addition, Grogan Rawls brings in sites that pertain to WinstonSalem’s cultural history, including sporting events, college campuses, and more. This pictorial book is full of wonderful vintage postcards that showcase our beloved WinstonSalem. I have this book and love it!

Trust me, it is a treasure.

Former newspaper journalist Frank Tursi has covered many topics, including environmental and special projects. Now, he has added another special project to his portfolio, a chronological history of WinstonSalem through unique perspectives. In his book, Tursi describes the history of the development of Wachovia, the future site of Winston-Salem and the industrial haven of Winston as created by the Reynolds, Hanes, and Gray families. Along with the history, he adds in the journey of the city’s coming of age and transformation since the 1989 buyout of RJR Nabisco. Lastly, Tursi uses the perspectives of various locals throughout time to include little known facts. These voices include Marshall Kurfees, Simon Green Atkins (an educator to African Americans), Z. Smith Reynolds, F. Ross Johnson (who at one time was known as the most hated man in town), and Joe Camel. Another book that is packed full of history and a must-read for all.

Every town has a passionate history that makes it unique and interesting, Winston-Salem included. No matter what mission you are on, whether it is organizing a staycation, learning more about your hometown, or increasing your historical knowledge, these books are a great place to begin.

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ALEXANDER’S

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336.766.5658 | 336-766-2132 u haul

Mon-Fri 8am-6pm | Sat 8am-4:30pm | 1601 Lewisville- Clemmons Rd., Clemmons

Propane refilling station | A/C & Auto Repair State Inspections | U-Haul Rentals | 24 hour Towing June 2021 | 117

But I still don’t want to go…

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

As a closet introvert, the past year or so hasn’t been terrible when it comes to social interactions. I don’t like large groups, busy places, networking events where people are everywhere – it’s exhausting and just too much work.

While I missed humans, I got to hang out with my husband, spend time with my dogs, read books, get writing done – it was nice!

And now, we’re careening towards a return to normalcy – which means…events.

Large groups.

Busy places.

Networking events.

I’m exhausted just thinking about it – and I know I’m not alone.

Experts and psychologists are quoted in new articles from Refinery 29 to Washington Post talking about the anxiety even extroverts are experiencing with the return to normal social life.

Anxiety aside, what happens when we don’t have the excuse of COVID? How do we tell someone we don’t want to do something? Whether it’s a friend or a coworker, telling someone that you don’t want to hang out is stressful in itself.

If you’re struggling to say no, keep reading for tips to make the anxiety a bit less when you’re declining the invite.

DO YOU NOT WANT TO? First, check in – do you really want to decline? After the past year, you might think you want to say no, out of the comfort of declining everything. If you find out that you actually DO want to go, but you’re a little nervous, go for it! If you don’t, keep reading.

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EMPATHY ALL AROUND If you just say no, will the other person get upset or have hurt feelings? Is there some reason you need to be there like you might meet someone that might be helpful to your career, or is it a special event for a good friend? If any of these are true, you can’t just say no. Let’s handle the easy no first: if none of the above apply, just say no! You can politely decline, say no thank you, and move along.

If you can’t just say no, then you have to practice empathy. Think about it: how will they respond if you say no? We can predict the reactions of most people in our lives – and their actual reaction, not the one your anxiety is telling you.

DON’T MAKE AN EXCUSE Let’s be honest, lying isn’t the way to go. Too many people think it’s ok to do things like fake an illness or make up some home drama. Know what happens when you lie? You get caught. Think about why you don’t want to go – are you not feeling your best? Do you have a ton of work? Are you not feeling a big group tonight? Get an honest reason in your head before you say anything.

DON’T GHOST If you don’t want to go – don’t just disappear. Of all the things you can do or say, just disappearing is rude and disrespectful. As awkward as it might feel to say no and decline, don’t just disappear.

JUST BE HONEST Above all, saying how you feel is one of the best ways to decline an invite.

Saying that you’re just not feeling up to being “out” is a perfectly fine response! When you’re declining, state it as respectfully and politely as possible – remember, they might want to spend time with you! That doesn’t mean that you should move to be passive and go “because you have to” – it just means when you do say no, you should be kind. Especially if it’s a friend – and above all, treat someone as you’d like to be treated.

iHeart Radio

WOMEN ON THE MOVE

DEE DUGGAN

MALISSA MCCLURE

KINSLEY NIX

Kinsley Nix has been named head of microblading and permanent makeup at The VISTA at Forsyth Plastic Surgery. Kinsley is a licensed aesthetician and skincare expert who graduated from college with high honors. Kinsley has worked as a professional makeup artist since 2002 and became interested by how many women asked her about permanent makeup solutions. After a year of study, Kinsley became certified as a microblading and permanent makeup provider. She now offers microblading and shading for brows, permanent eyeliner and lip tint. Kinsley loves spending time with her husband, family and dog, Gypsy. She’s a huge Braves baseball fan and loves doing anything related to the arts, sports and music.

Malissa McClure is the owner and a colorist at Muse. The Hair Studio. She is also a cycle instructor at Cycle Muse. During her career, she has been a cosmetologist for 11 years and a Goldwell colorist for eight years. She opened her private salon suite in August of 2020. She is also a freelance makeup artist and was published in Boudoir Culture magazine. “I love having the opportunity to get to know my clients, their lifestyles,” said Malissa. “While helping them reach their ultimate hair goals! Also, as a fun side hustle, I am a cycle instructor at Cycle Muse in downtown Winston-Salem. I fell in love with cycle in October of 2020. It’s not just about the workout, it’s about the mental health aspect of cycling as well.

Being able to escape for 45 minutes, music and sweat is all you need! And, building a community of amazing people.” In her spare time, Malissa enjoys spending time with her friends and family, especially her son, and thrift shopping.

Dee Duggan is the owner F45 Training Studio in Winston-Salem. “I am originally from Winston-Salem, but spent the past 22 years in the Cayman Islands, where my husband, Chris and I raised our family,” said Dee. “We have two teenagers, Caroline and Patrick and as a family, we live a very active lifestyle. Chris and I are members of F45 Training Cayman Islands, where we fell in love with the workouts and the community.

When the opportunity presented itself to bring F45 Training to the Triad, it was a no-brainer. Winston-Salem has always been home to me, so the opportunity to bring the fastest growing fitness franchise in the world to my community was super exciting!” Before this endeavor, Dee owned a mental health practice for 20 years, sold real estate in the Cayman Islands, worked as the United States Consular Agent to the Cayman Islands as well as raising her family. “We have met so many wonderful people through the F45 WSNC community, the school, our volunteer experiences and through St Leo’s Church,” she said. “When not working, which isn’t often, I love to ski (water and snow), read, meet new people, discover new places around town, play with our Doberman and travel.”

If you are interested in submitting yourself or someone you know for a future Women on the Move feature, visit our online application link!

TinyURL.com/ForsythWomanWOM 120 | ForsythWoman.com

IRIS FAGUNDO COLE

Iris Fagundo Cole has been elected as Director on the Board of Piedmont Federal Savings Bank, headquartered in Winston-Salem since its founding in 1903. She co-founded and is a partner with She Raises the Bar, a consultancy helping organizations develop and implement corporate social and environmental responsibility and sustainability strategies into their business practices and operations. Her 20+ year career as an executive and consultant in both the public and private sectors has provided Ms. Cole with deep insights into investors, businesses, government agencies and NGOs. Much of her work has focused on the development and execution of impactful social and environmental investment strategies, inclusive business models, and community dialogue and engagement. She has developed a quick love of Winston-Salem and its commitment to the arts. “The entire Winston-Salem community has been so welcoming to my family and me, across professional, civic and community interests and opportunities,” explained Cole. “Winston-Salem is focused in its commitment to arts, innovation and education, making smart, concerted moves to develop those areas.” Ms. Cole serves on a variety of boards including: Winston-Salem Forsyth County Schools Equity Advisory Council, Flywheel Foundation, Arts Council, Reynolda House Museum of Art, Hispanic League, REACH Women’s Network and others.

ALISON ASHE-CARD

Alison Ashe-Card has joined the Piedmont Federal Savings Bank Board of Directors where she will serve an initial term of two years with the Winston-Salem-based bank founded in 1903. Ms. Ashe-Card is Associate Director, Diversity and Inclusion, at Wake Forest University School of Law, where she has led organization-wide efforts to create a diverse and culturally competent community for several years. Piedmont Federal’s commitment to enhance diversity inside and outside the organization, using its long-standing position in the community to advance these important goals led Ms. Ashe-Card to consider Board membership. “I’m excited to see the strong steps Piedmont Federal is taking to develop diversity in its staffing, operations and community involvement – it’s a holistic approach,” explained Ashe-Card. She received her Juris Doctor degree from The American UniversityWashington College of Law and her BA in political science from Spelman College where she graduated cum laude. Her husband, John, is an internal medicine physician. Alison and John delight in their two children, Alexandria and Jonathan, and are excited about Alexandria’s upcoming graduation from medical school in Chicago which will be followed by a primary care pediatric residency at UNC Chapel Hill. In her limited downtime, Alison enjoys reading and an occasional program on Netflix.

NATALIE & AMANDA GOGOLAK

Natalie and Amanda Gogolak are the mother-daughter duo that own and operate Be Kind Coffee Co., a family run coffee shop and bakery in Clemmons, NC. They opened their doors in 2020 as the manifestation of their family’s long history of extending kindness and their passion for serving people and building community, at a time when our world seemed to need it the most. Natalie’s years of experience working with customers in the corporate industry blended with her natural abilities in the kitchen, and ultimately culminated in the opening of her first family, food-based business. Meanwhile, after a successful corporate career in clinical trials technology, working on the cutting edge of science and technology to help pharmaceutical companies obtain their critical trial data electronically, Amanda decided to embark on a completely different journey to be able to have a more direct and tangible impact on the world and her local community. Natalie and Amanda created Be Kind Coffee Co. as a place where people could be invited to experience the warmth felt at their family table, while also using their business to give back to the local community through donation drives for people in need and non-profit organizations, school supply needs and even supporting our local front-line heroes with cupcake drop offs. Natalie and Amanda love to travel, visit NC wineries, swim, bike, run and trying to grow veggies in their home gardens.

Natalie is the mother to three amazing children and 1 grandson, while Amanda has two fur babies at home.

June 2021 | 121

Eight Great Chick Flicks

that will transport you to another time

BY KAREN COOPER

If there’s a cinematic genre I’ve grown to appreciate more than ever this year, it’s the chick flick…at least my version of the chick flick. While sheltering in place and with little else to do at times, the comfort of a great chick flick has been just what this girl needs! Add to it a beautiful landscape, atmospheric period drama, incredible costumes, and some romance, and away we go to another time and place. If you’re like me, getting away from it all for an hour or two (even if it’s through the screen) can refresh you and bring joy to your day.

Grab your best girl friends or just snuggle in for some “you” time. These eight films are sure to transport you, touch your heart, and distract you from the stress in your life or any lingering doom and gloom going on in the real world.

AGE OF ADELINE (2015)

A young woman (Blake Lively), born at the turn of the 20th century, stops aging after an accident. After many years avoiding relationships, she meets a man who complicates the life she has settled into. This movie takes place in present day, but flashes back to different times in the past. Gorgeous costumes, compelling storyline, and Harrison Ford!

MARIE ANTOINETTE (2006)

The retelling of France’s celebrated but ill-fated queen, Marie Antoinette (Kirstin Dunst). From her betrothal and marriage to Louis XVI (Jason Schwartzman) at 15 to her reign as queen at 19 to the end of her reign as queen, and ultimately the fall of Versailles. Coppola shows the Queen as just a young girl and shows Marie as an appealing person we can relate to. She also adds an incredible new wave/ punk soundtrack to the background.

BROOKLYN (2015)

A young Irish immigrant woman lands in 1950s Brooklyn, where she quickly falls into a romance with a young Italian man. When her past catches up with her, she must choose between two lives in two different countries. Eilis Lacey (Saoirse Ronan) draws you into this wonderful, complicated story with a backdrop of 1950s New York and Ireland.

SENSE AND SENSIBILITY (1995)

Wealthy Mr. Dashwood dies, leaving his wife and her three daughters poor by the rules of inheritance. The two eldest daughters reflect the title’s counterparts. Elinor (Emma Thompson) falls for a young man who is previously engaged, and Marianne (Kate Winslet) is swept off her feet by a handsome rogue. Despite their differences, Marianne and Elinor are devoted to one another.

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FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD (2015)

In Victorian England, the independent and headstrong Bathsheba Everdene (Carey Mulligan) attracts three vastly different suitors: Gabriel Oak (Matthias Schoenaerts), a sheep farmer; Frank Troy (Tom Sturridge), a reckless Sergeant; and William Boldwood (Michael Sheen), a prosperous and mature bachelor.

This movie is gorgeous with beautiful costumes and scenery and watching the love story unfold for independent Bathsheba is time well spent.

ATONEMENT (2007)

Thirteen-year-old writer Briony Tallis (Saoirse Ronan), forever changes the course of several lives when she accuses her older sister’s beau of a crime he did not commit. A sweeping English drama, based on the book by Ian McEwan, and following the lives of young lovers Cecilia Tallis (Keira Knightley) and Robbie Turner (James McAvoy). Takes place in 1930s, 1940s and present day England.

MISS PETTIGREW LIVES FOR A DAY (2008)

Guinevere Pettigrew (Frances McDormand), a middleaged London governess, finds herself unfairly fired from her job. An effort to secure new employment inadvertently places her in the glamorous world of an American actress and singer, Delysia Lafosse (Amy Adams). This is a wonderfully charming tale of an unemployed governess who is swept into the glamorous world of high society by mistake. Set in London in the 1930s.

A ROOM WITH A VIEW (1986)

At a hotel in Florence, Italy, Lucy Honeychurch (Helena Bonham-Carter) meets the charming and free-spirited George Emerson (Julian Sands). Although she is intrigued by George, once she returns to England, Lucy considers settling down with the wealthy (but awkward and somewhat boring) Cecil Vyse (Daniel Day-Lewis). When George reappears in her life, Lucy has a choice to make. A Room with a View offers an amazing cast, beautiful cinematography, an incredible story of restrained passion and true love.

Bicycles can be for special walks too.

Clemmons Bicycle

Chermak & Hanson

1 YEAR FREE SERVICES WITH BICYCLE PURCHASE.

Serving Forsyth County Families for Over 40 Years TRI • Road • Mountain • Comfort • Hybrids • BMX • Kids Bicycles Tricycles • Scooters • Bob Strollers • Unicycles

336.766.5564 • www.clemmonsbicycle.com 2703 Lewisville-Clemmons Rd, Clemmons, NC

Experience • Quality • Customer Service Dr. David S. Chermak • Dr. John C. Hanson Orthodontics for Children & Adults

Never Underestimate the Power of a Smile!

WINSTON-SALEM 336-760-1491 • CLEMMONS 336-766-8244 • KING 336-983-4551

P R O F E SS I O N A L WO M E N O F W I N STO N - S A L E M Professional Development • Connections • Support

Lynn Michael Steps Everyone Should Take to Create an Effective Estate Plan

Swanky & Swag

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Professional Women of Winston-Salem

Women face many challenges, including caring for older family members and children.

We will discuss the importance of planning for all generations and how changes in circumstances (divorce, death of a family member), should be addressed.

Learn about asset titling, beneficiary designations, account ownership and more!

Wednesday June 9th 2021 | 11:30am - 1pm

shopswankyandswag.com @swankyandswag

Footnote Coffee & Cocktails | 4th street, Winston-Salem

pwws.org

1337 Lewisville Clemmons Rd | Lewisville, N.C. 27023 | 336-778-0111

June 2021 | 123

Trey Crutchfield Trey Crutchfield graduated on May 7, 2021 from the University of South Carolina. He received a Bachelor of Science degree with a double major in Marketing and Supply Chain. He has accepted a job with Solarwinds in Charlotte and will begin June 1.

CELEBRATIONS

Congratulations to Matthew Simonson, Eagle Scout Candidate Occoneechee Council, Troop 352. Congratulations on your completed project — a 12 x 12 fishing platform for Hope Reins, a non-profit equine therapy ranch for children in crisis.

Savannah Norris is graduating with a Bachelor’s in Journalism this May of 2021 from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. During her time at UNC, she was part of the team of radio students who won the Society of Professional Journalists Regional Award for InDepth Reporting. She additionally won the Edward Jackson Travel Fund used to support an independent journalism project in the Netherlands. Savannah is excited to tenaciously pursue her next steps into the world as a journalist. Congratulations Savannah!

Desiray Simmons + Benjamin King October 23rd 2021 | Photo by Bkhillphotography

KELLEY CARNALL

Independent Consultant

Rodan + Fields, Kelley Carnall

Rodan + Fields is changing skin and changing lives by partnering with independent business owners across the US to redefine the future of aging.

www.rodanandfields.com Call Today: 336-391-2735

Singing Bird Salon

Be Fabulous. Be Green.

Be Eco Chic.

Sleepy-Head Pillows, Michael Peak

An Organic Hair Salon p 336 778 2234

6341 cook avenue ste b clemmons nc 27012

“ON YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS, GIVE YOUR BODY SOME REST.”

Tue-Fri 10-6 | Sat 10-2

By Appointment

Michael Peak, CEO/Inventor 336-858-1275 | michaelpeak83@yahoo.com | www.sleepy-headpillows.com

SSB Music Haute Dawg

QUALITY WORK AT COMPETITIVE PRICES

Dawson Tree Service EMERGENCY SERVICE • STORM DAMAGE • TREE REMOVAL • PRUNING • CABLING STUMP REMOVAL • TRIMMING • CRANE SERVICE • BUCKET TRUCK SERVICE Locally Owned & Operated • Licensed & Insured Serving the Triad Since 1986 336-345-2572 • DAWSONTREESERVICE.COM

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From my Otis to yours, enjoy all the best stylish dog accessories Sassy keychains, dogtags, sweatshirts, coordinating harnesses, leashes, and bagholders, custom pet portraits, tote bags, and more made locally!

hautedawgshop.com

Pupaholics Pet Care

Learn more Tinyurl.com/SoberSisFW Sober Sis Mindset is everything and being “soberminded” means being PRESENT, awake and alert in your own life.

Chrystal Yates 336-399-3873

Chrystal.Yates@Allentate.com

ChrystalYates.com

Anna Bakes Cookies

NC Prep Photos

Locally custom made cookies for all occasions!

Shipping available. @annabakescookies | aholbrook123@gmail.com

We shoot; you score.

Hire the best sports photographer around!

brad@ncprepphotos.com — ncprepphotos.com — 336.813.1120

5 Star Equine Bodywork Candice Deal 919-357-1043 | B29600@gmail.com

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SECOND WEDNESDAYS

JUNE 10

JULY 4

PROFESSIONAL WOMEN OF WINSTON-SALEM MEETING 11:30am-1pm, Footnote on 4th Street in W-S. Join PWWS for the monthly meeting.

Learn more at PWWS.org. Due

LADIES’ NIGHT OUT AT FRALEIGH’S BOUTIQUE 4-7pm, 2626 Lewisville-Clemmons Road in Clemmons. A portion of proceeds from the evening will be donated to the Dragonfly House. Find them online at fraleighsboutiqueNC.com or on instagram and Facebook.

SALEM BAND “STARS & STRIPES” CONCERT 7:30pm, Salem Square, 649 South Main Street in W-S. Honoring veterans in our community with marches, big bands, Armed Forces Salute and, of course, Star & Stripes Forever! Including a salute to baseball hero Hank Aaron. All concerts FREE in Salem Square, Old Salem. Bring a blanket or lawn chair. Food vendors on site. salemband.org

NOW THROUGH JUNE 8 ALEXANDER BY DAMOR TRUNK SHOW Nitsa’s Apparel, 107 South Stratford Road in W-S. “Mother of” Trunk Show – Nitsa’s offers the finest selection of designer couture mother of, social occasion and cocktail dresses, and sportswear. As the Carolinas’ Couture Bridal Salon, Nitsa’s provides its signature personal service and exceptional in-house alterations. Fabulous since 1964! #wewearnitsas. nitsas.com

JUNE 1-30 HUNGRY FOR HOPE Eat local. Give hope. Crisis Control Ministry needs your help saying “Thank You!” to Hope du Jour partners! Dine at these restaurants, bakeries, breweries and more during the month of June. Together, we can support the local food and beverage establishments that have been there for our neighbors. Visit HopeduJour.org to plan your dining experiences.

JUNE 5 ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY PARTY AT THE STATION 1-10pm, 187 North Main Street in Mocksville. A modern-day General Store & Taproom. A family and pet-friendly place to enjoy 12 beers and cider on tap, Sno-balls or bulk old-fashioned candy! The Station, a converted 1920s gas station welcomes visitors and locals to downtown Mocksville.

JUNE 8 FORSYTH WOMAN MAGAZINE PRESENTS GIRLS’ NIGHT OUT 5pm until… 4201 Manor House Circle in Clemmons. Ladies! Providence at the Manor House is proud to host GNO! Join us for a Taste of Providence Menu – Cost: $18 per person, excluding alcohol. Beer and wine, $5 per glass. Reservations appreciated and can be made at providenceWS.org/GNO.

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JUNE 11-13 BLUSH BY HAYLEY PAIGE BRIDAL TRUNK SHOW Nitsa’s Apparel, 107 South Stratford Road in W-S. Bridal Trunk Show – Nitsa’s offers the finest selection of designer couture bridal gowns, bridesmaid dresses, veils, accessories, social occasion and cocktail dresses, and sportswear.

As the Carolinas’ Couture Bridal Salon, Nitsa’s provides its signature personal service and exceptional in-house alterations. Fabulous since 1964! nitsas.com

JUNE 12 GOAT YOGA 8:30am, The Farm at Henley Hill, 6890 Henley Hill Drive. Join us for an amazing hour of yoga led by our certified instructor, Fontaine Gervasi, while the goats enjoy grazing and hanging out with you. Yoga is for all levels and most ages.

The goats are very gentle and completely adorable. All you need to bring is a water bottle, a yoga mat or towel and an open mind. Let us help you celebrate a birthday, surprise a friend with a fun experience or just enjoy a unique morning of working out while having fun. Cost: $20/person. thefarmathenleyhill.com FIREFLY MARKET IN WINSTON-SALEM 10am-2pm, Foothills Brewing (Footnote Coffee & Cocktails), 634 West 4th Street. Join us for our open air pop up market in the breezeway located between Design Archives, Footnote and Bookmarks in downtown Winston-Salem. catbirdartandevents.com QUEENS OF SOUL 8pm, Steven Tanger Performing Arts Center, 300 North Elm Street in Greensboro.

Greensboro Symphony Orchestra. Hits by the reigning divas of Soul and R&B: Aretha Franklin, Tina Turner, Patti LaBelle, Gladys Knight, Nina Simone, Whitney Houston, Jennifer Hudson, Amy Winehouse, Alicia Keys and Adele! greensborosymphony.org

JULY 6 BROYHILL CHAMBER MUSIC SERIES PRESENTS EMERSON STRING QUARTET 7pm, Schaefer Center for the Performing Arts, 733 Rivers Street in Boone. Emerson String Quartet, one of the world’s premier chamber music ensembles, performs an all-classical program of Purcell, Shostakovich and Beethoven. “With musicians like this,” wrote a reviewer for The Times (London), “there must be some hope for humanity.” Cost: $35 in-person/$15 livestream.

JULY 10 JASON ISBELL AND THE 400 UNIT 8pm, Kidd Brewer Stadium, 270 Stadium Drive in Boone. Americana outfit Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit make a tour stop in Boone to promote their newest release, Reunions. The former Drive-By Trucker and his bandmates open the season with an unforgettable evening of rousing anthems and lyrical standouts.

Cost: $60/person. appsummer.org

JULY 11 BROYHILL CHAMBER MUSIC SERIES PRESENTS CANADIAN BRASS 7pm, Schaefer Center for the Performing Arts, 733 Rivers Street in Boone.

Canadian Brass, who has earned the distinction as “the world’s most famous brass group,” perform an engaging, spontaneous and virtuosic program ranging from Bach to The Beatles.

Cost: $35 in-person/free livestream. theschaefercenter.org

JULY 12 HEALING TIPS FOR EPISIOTOMY AND VAGINAL TEARS 12pm, Zoom webinar (bit.ly/NovantHealthHealingTips).

Soreness after vaginal delivery is normal.

If you had an episiotomy or vaginal tears during delivery, your pain is different.

Dr. Doug Miyazaki and Dr. Eloise Joubert will share strategies to increase comfort if you experienced an episiotomy and/or vaginal tears during delivery.

JULY 13 CANNON WEALTH MANAGEMENT MID-YEAR SEMINAR “GETTING FINANCIALLY ORGANIZED” Maple Chase Golf and Country Club, 5475 Germanton Road in W-S. Please join us for our Mid-Year Educational Seminar “Getting Financially Organized.” This is a wonderful opportunity to take a look at where you stand halfway through the year and assess where you want to be by year end. We will discuss the latest financial updates and provide tips on how to help you get better at organizing your financial future. Pre-register on our website.

Seating is limited. cannon-wealth.com

JULY 17 LESLIE ODOM JR. 8pm, State Farm Road Concert Lot, Intramural Field Road Lot in Boone. Be in the room where it happens when Oscar nominee and Tony Award winner Leslie Odom, Jr., the original Aaron Burr from the Broadway phenomenon Hamilton, appears in concert for a special evening of song. Cost: 2, 4 and 6-person pods: $110/$210/$300. appsummer.org/ event/leslie-odom-jr/.

JULY 20 BROYHILL CHAMBER MUSIC SERIES PRESENTS TESLA QUARTET 7pm, Schaefer Center for the Performing Arts, 733 Rivers Street in Boone. Praised for their “superb capacity to find the inner heart of everything they play, regardless of era, style or technical demand,” the Tesla Quartet brings refinement and prowess to both new and established repertoire. The ensemble expertly interprets the many layers of Dvorak, Haydn and Bartok in the evening’s program. Cost: $35 in-person/ free livestream. appsummer.org/event/ tesla-quartet-2

SALEM BAND “TWENTIANA” CONCERT 7:30pm, Salem Square, 649 South Main Street in W-S. ‘20s popular music from several centuries including Kittyhawk, Salute to Bob Hope and Big Band Polkas.

With vocal soloist Mignon Dobbins. Preconcert music by the Salem Saxophone Quartet. All concerts FREE in Salem Square, Old Salem. Bring a blanket or lawn chair. Food vendors on site. salemband.org

JULY 24 ALAN CUMMING AND ARI SHAPIRO: OCH & OY! A CONSIDERED CABARET 8pm, State Farm Road Concert Lot, Intramural Field Road Lot in Boone.

Tony winner and TV star Alan Cumming (Cabaret, “The Good Wife”) and NPR staple and singer Ari Shapiro (“All Things Considered,” Pink Martini) join forces in song and storytelling with this evening of tunes and tall tales. Cost: 2, 4 and 6-person pods: $100/$190/$270. appsummer.org/event/alan-cummingand-ari-shapiro-och-oy-a-consideredcabaret/

Gift Baskets for all Occasions!

JULY 26-31 EMMANUEL CHURCH VBS 9am-12pm, Emmanuel Church of WinstonSalem, 407 Petree Road in W-S. Join us this summer for our Vacation Bible School Our theme is “Egypt: God is Our Redeemer.” VBS is free and is for ages 3 (potty-trained) through rising 6th grade. emmanuelws.com/ministries/vbs

Wine Merchants

FUTURE: OCTOBER 2 TOUR DE BOUTIQUE 2021 After the popularity of last year’s selfguided Tour de Boutique, we’ve decided to offer it for 2021, too! $40 includes your choice of either -- Forsyth Woman Tour de Boutique Quarter Zip Sweatshirt OR Forsyth Woman Tour de Boutique Hat + Long Sleeve Tee Combo. Plus, you’ll get a $10 lunch voucher! You’ll receive door prize tickets, and the more stores you visit on the tour, the more opportunities you’ll have to WIN! Also, every store on the trip is going to have special sales, exclusive to Forsyth Woman’s Tour de Boutique shoppers! Grab your mom, your sister, your co-workers, your best friends, your neighbor and join us for another shop-til-you-drop adventure! Visit tinyurl. com/2021FWTDB for more information and to register.

Wine | Bar Supplies NC produced Market Goods Take N Bake Meals Butcher Shop Items Free wine tastings every Friday night 5:30 to 7:00

Vin205.com (336) 765-8175 *DISCLAIMER: EVENT DETAILS ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE. PLEASE CHECK EVENT WEBSITES & SOCIAL MEDIA PAGES FOR UPDATES AS THE DATES DRAW NEAR.*

205 S. Stratford Rd. Suite N | Winston-Salem, NC 27103

Summer Hours Tuesday - Saturday 10am to 7pm WineMerchantsVin205

winemerchantsbistro June 2021 | 129

Conversations with Your BFF If you weren’t a worrier before 2020, I bet you are now. Never in the history of man, well, maybe when dinosaurs roamed the earth and man lived daily in fear of being a dinner entree, have we had more to worry about each day. From having a mask, to washing and sanitizing your hands, to trying to judge how far is 6 feet, our minds are racing with new habits and with the restraints on what we have considered ‘normal.’ So how do you face each day and live in the moment without overstressing on things you can’t control?

I am so glad you asked!

Not long after we are aware of our surroundings, we actually experience anxiety leading to worry. I think the moment I knew that I didn’t live in Utopia and that things could go wrong, is the moment I became a worrier. So, I have used all that has gone on during 2020 to focus on letting go of what I can’t control.

SOME THINGS & PEOPLE NEED TO BE LET GO If you are a people pleaser, you strive to make the world a better place by keeping everyone happy. This only makes your life more stressful. How many things or people do you stress over that really aren’t worth it? Most, probably. In times like we are in today, you need to decide what or who is worth your concern and what isn’t.

THE OPINION OF OTHERS When you worry what others think or say about you, you’re living your life for them, not you. People will always judge, sadly, so focus on what you know about yourself.

THE PAST What happened in your past might not be long-forgotten, but it is GONE! Even God can’t change the past, so realize you can’t change it and don’t waste precious time stressing over it. Forgive yourself, leave the past behind and concentrate on your present moment.

TOXIC PEOPLE AROUND YOU Whatever you do in life and wherever you find yourself, make sure to maintain safe and solid boundaries around you.

People with negative energy can suck you dry with their toxicity. You can care about them, but you don’t have to let the negativity into your space.

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‘How Do I Stop Worrying about Everything?’

BY REBECCA COOPER

SOCIAL MEDIA OBSESSION In this era of social media, people have become obsessed with sharing everything from finding a new love, to finding the best deal on chicken at the grocery store.

When we do share something, we often get obsessed with how many likes we have. Share your thoughts or experiences because you want to, not because you want ‘likes’ and approval. Don’t worry or stress over becoming a slave to social media.

COMPARING WHAT YOU HAVE TO OTHERS There will always be people who have more than you do. That shouldn’t be intimidating to you. I have realized the grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence. You have no idea what another person has been through to get where they are, so celebrate others’ accomplishments and appreciate what you have.

DON’T FOCUS ON THE ‘WHAT IFS’ IN LIFE If we have learned anything, it is that we aren’t promised tomorrow. We never have had the luxury of thinking tomorrow is a sure thing, even though we live like it. The future is way ahead of you. Don’t stress over its unpredictability.

Instead, do everything in your power to make it a good one by focusing on the present.

REGRETS ARE IN THE PAST, SO LEAVE THEM THERE We all have actions or decisions we made in our lives that we regret. Learn to accept the things you did; take responsibility. The past is gone, and it is up to you to learn your lesson and continue on your journey in life.

Remind yourself daily of your blessings, what you are grateful for and live in the here and now.

Living life to the fullest depends on where you put your focus. You aren’t promised tomorrow, so don’t go there until it is time.

farm fresh meets sophisticated dining TUESDAY Half Price Wine by the Glass WEDNESDAY Half price Whiskey & Bourbon THURSDAY $3 Off Martinis

321 WEST FOURTH STREET | WINSTON SALEM | 336.448.1714 | TUESDAY-THURSDAY 4pm-9pm | FRIDAY - SATURDAY 4pm-10pm | SUNDAY 4pm-9pm

Young Cardinal Cafe & Co @youngcardinalws

Jeffrey Adams on Fourth Twisted Pine

336-448-5188 | HOURS: Monday Closed | Tuesday - Sunday 8am - 3pm

424 4th Street NW, Winston-Salem (formerly Hutch & Harris)

C AT E R I N G F O R E V E R Y O C C A S I O N | @ t w i s t e d p i n e _ w s

A N D R E WS R E S TA U R A N T SWS .CO M

The right team to look out for your financial Marzano Capital Group future.

336-766-0464 marzanocapitalgroup.com WEALTH MANAGEMENT RETIREMENT & INSURANCE PLANNING EXECUTIVE & EMPLOYEE BENEFITS 529 PLANS FOR COLLEGE Securities offered through LPL Financial Member FINRA/SIPC. Investment advice offered through Independent Advisor Alliance, a registered investment advisor. Independent Advisor Alliance and Marzano Capital Group are separate entities from LPL Financial.