It’s Never Too Late to be Good to Yourself

BY JEAN MARIE JOHNSON

I often see my 93-year-old neighbor outside picking up her daily newspaper and stopping to take in her lush and lovely flowers. I’d like to think that this daily ritual is something my neighbor does to welcome and celebrate the day. Something she does to be good to herself.

When I was growing up, I heard “Be good to others” and “Be kind to strangers.” But the message about self-love was light, if not missing. Eventually, I learned to be good to myself, and honestly, it wasn’t easy; it required me to reframe “indulgence” or “pampering” as self-care, or simply, “being good to myself.” Wherever you are on your journey to “being good to yourself,” know this: it is never too late to send a healthy dose of love inward. Here are a few ideas on how to keep your inner well full:

THINK OF YOURSELF AS YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND

How you treat your BFF is how you can learn to treat yourself. You are kind, forgiving, compassionate, and generous to her, right? Well then? Start sending all of that good stuff inward.

WRITE DOWN THE THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF THAT MAKE YOU AWESOME!

If you find yourself stuck in a long pause, consider what the people who love and care about you would say. Or pretend that you are on the outside, observing this person, you. Come up with at least ten qualities or characteristics that you can appreciate about yourself.

IDENTIFY TEN THINGS THAT BRING YOU JOY AND INCLUDE SEVERAL EACH DAY

I am not talking about a ten-day Hawaiian hiatus. I mean simple joys or pleasures that bring a smile to your face, appeal to your senses, or make you feel good about your day. I recently purchased two diffusers that I fill with essential oils. One resides in my office – where I do my writing – and the other, in my sunroom – where I kick up my feet and indulge in my reading. Simple and joyful? Yes!

FORGIVE, FORGIVE, FORGIVE

This one is heavy, I know. But here’s the thing: we all have regrets, some large, many small. When we can make our peace with the things we did and didn’t do, we release pain and create an opening for learning from our regrets and mistakes. The same is true of the grudges we may hold toward others. By letting go, we free ourselves.

LAUGH AT YOURSELF…BUT DO IT WITH LOVE

As a recovering perfectionist, I also know that this can be very hard to do. We see our shortcomings and errors as fatal flaws, deficiencies we should be ashamed of. That framing is the opposite of what it means to be good to ourselves. Look around you: no one is perfect. No one. When you can laugh at your quirks and foibles, you take a major step forward in being good to yourself.

CUT OUT THE NEGATIVITY

Start by re-reading the paragraph above, then take a good, honest look at what’s fueling the negativity in your life. Certain people, media, situations? Make a conscious effort to skinny-back on what brings you down. And when you are the source, catch yourself, forgive yourself, laugh at yourself…and move on. You’ve got this! SURROUND YOURSELF WITH CARING PEOPLE

People who are positive and loving toward us reinforce that we are worthy of love and respect. They act as a mirror that reflects what’s good about us. And by doing so, they remind us that it’s never, ever too late to be good to ourselves.

New Balance - Fleet Feet

Centenary UMC

For the Love of Reading BY JEAN MARIE JOHNSON I was 19 or 20 at the time, a sophomore or junior in college. I had stopped by the house of a guy I was seeing and waited around while he took care of one thing or another. As I took in the environment I was baffled. From room to room, wherever my eyes wandered there wasn’t a book in sight. I mean there was no reading material of any kind, anywhere. This was back in the dark ages when there were no cell phones and certainly no electronic readers. My head was spinning: How does anyone live without books? A house with no books meant a family with no books. I didn’t get it. LOOK TO THE PAST The absence of the written word in any of its manifestations begs a bigger question: Why do some people love to read and others don’t? Sociologist Wendy Griswold found that 20% of the US population spends a lot of their leisure time reading. But why? Part of the answer lies in three factors that influence the lifelong reading habit: • Children who are adept at going from the printed word to words in the mind become “fluent coders.” They often have parents who read to and with them from an early age. • These same children tend to have a wide range of understanding about the world because parents contribute information, clarity and exposure to new concepts. • There is a motivational factor as well – the child has a positive attitude about reading and about herself as a reader. FAST FORWARD TO THE ADULT READER Here’s one very good reason to nurture the reading habit: recent research concluded that reading reduces stress levels by a whopping 68% (that makes sense to me!) while strengthening the mind and improving both memory and thinking skills. When the Pew Research Center asked readers what they liked most about delving into a book, responses varied: • 26% said learning, gaining knowledge, and discovering information. • 15% mentioned escaping reality, becoming immersed in another world, and using their imaginations. • 12% said they liked the entertainment value, the drama of good stories, the suspense of watching a good plot unfold. • 12% said they enjoyed relaxing while reading and having quiet time. Others mentioned gaining spiritual enrichment, being mentally challenged, exploring new, interesting topics and experiencing the physical properties of books made the list. One respondent added: “I love being able to get outside myself.” PARENTS CAN ENCOURAGE A LOVE OF READING It is generally understood that children who love reading do better in school and have an expanded vocabulary. Many add that children who are avid readers have an expanded sense of the world and are perhaps more empathetic towards others. As a parent, here are a few things you can you do to encourage the reading bug in your home: • Make books and other reading material highly visible. Don’t restrict them to your nightstand or your desk; put that content where kids can see that it is integral to your life. Besides, books make a beautiful esthetic statement! • Talk about reading during daily activities: while eating dinner together and in the car on the way to soccer practice. Share with your kids what you are currently reading and why it is exciting to you. • Bring books along on your visits to the beach, your local pool, and yes, ahem, maybe even to soccer practice? • Give books as birthday presents to your children and to their friends. • Make regular visits to our local bookstores, resellers, and library branches. Happy reading!

Homestead Hills Novant Health

Exceptional Young Women in the Community: Meet Ainsley Williams

BY AMY HILL

Mount Tabor High School senior Ainsley Williams knew from a young age that she had a knack for the arts, having selftaught herself how to sew, crochet, and embroider. With the help of a supportive family who encouraged her to embrace her creative side and enroll in various art courses, Ainsley has used her artistic talents to help her community, classmates, and fellow athletes.

When Ainsley’s senior class was searching for ideas for their Homecoming t-shirts, Ainsley’s classmates knew who to turn to. Ainsley’s designing and drawing abilities were so popular among her peers that she was given the opportunity to design the shirts, as well as her field hockey team shirts and the senior t-shirts. By starting out with a paper drawing, she is able to digitally design her shirts using an app called procreate, which helps bring her ideas to life. She also runs a small business through an Instagram account where she creates sweatshirts and thrifted clothing by painting unique designs and patterns. In 2020, she won the Safe Sober T-Shirt Contest hosted by Daggett Schuler Law, which allowed her the opportunity to design clothing for a cause near and dear to her heart. Safe Sober aims to educate youth on the dangers of alcohol and drug use. Given the increase in isolation over the last year, Ainsley believes it is especially important to relay the Safe & Sober message in stressful times such as the present. According to Ainsley, “Feeling isolated can make people susceptible to making irresponsible decisions. It’s always important to make wise decisions, because you never know when something can go wrong or get out of control. It’s always been in my nature to look out for anyone who might be under the influence of a substance.”

At Mount Tabor High School, Ainsley plays lacrosse, field hockey, and is involved in the Tabor Girls’ Club, where she and her fellow club members pay club dues and work to assist those in need. The Tabor Girls’ Club worked alongside their classmates to help pull off Mt. Tabor’s annual rummage sale, which takes months of preparation and planning. By relying on members of the community to donate clothing, accessories, and various household items to be sold, the Tabor Girls’ Club is able to donate the rummage sale’s earnings to those in need while making memories and gaining valuable retail experience. As a member of New Philadelphia Moravian Church, Ainsley has also been given the opportunity to volunteer in a remote village in Alaska. During the summer before her sophomore year of high school, she and her fellow church members spent a week hosting Vacation Bible School and Sunday school classes for children in the village, which was one of the most rewarding experiences of her life thus far. Shocked at how isolated and rural the Alaskan village was, she felt blessed to be embarking on the trip of a lifetime, where she was able to volunteer, worship, and build relationships in the stunning Alaskan wilderness. Ainsley and her family love volunteering with their church and are always looking for opportunities to give back.

In her spare time, Ainsley enjoys spending time with her friends, teaching children’s classes at church, and dining at local eateries such as The Loop. She has a passion for shopping at thrift stores and can frequently be found rummaging the racks of secondhand shops throughout the area, with her favorite being any Goodwill location she can find. After high school, Ainsley hopes to attend N.C. State University’s College of Design, and aspires to one day land a career where she can allow her creativity to flourish. Whether she’s designing clothes, displays, or posters, Ainsley hopes to make a living while simultaneously expressing herself through art.

iHeart Media

Your Authentic Self:

Be More of Who You Are BY JEAN MARIE JOHNSON

Why did I say that? That’s not what I believe.

Why did I go along with that?

That’s not what I want.

Why did I do that? That’s not who I am. Is there any human past puberty who hasn’t experienced the sigh of the soul or the gut punch that is the consequence of being inauthentic? When you think about it, every moment of inauthenticity reinforces a self-talk that says, “You are not okay as you really are.” When we hide our true self from others, the long-term impact can be a sense of loneliness, shame, and low self-esteem. And yet, we act in inauthentic ways because we may: • feel compelled to please others, so that we are liked • seek the approval of others so that we are accepted • go along to get along and avoid conflict • feel the need to live up to some external standard to feel better about ourselves Given the explosion of social media and FOMO - the fear of missing out - we may have even lost touch with who we are as we feel pressured to post ad nauseum about the awesomeness that is our life. Studies show that people who are authentic are happier and have higher self-esteem. To me, that’s another way of saying that they are at peace with themselves. And that makes sense because authentic people live in a way that is both true and responsible to themselves and others. They experience joy and meaning because they: • speak their opinions honestly, and in a healthy way • make decisions that align with their values and beliefs • pursue their passions • listen to their inner voice to guide them • allow themselves to be vulnerable and open-hearted • set boundaries and walk away from toxic situations What are you waiting for? Here are a few key things you can do to live more authentically*: Place a priority on the people and activities that matter most to you. Walk away from toxic people and situations that don’t serve you. Notice when you are feeling self-conscious about how you look or how you are coming across. Check in with your real self and the values you want to live by. Seek to spend more time with the people in your life who live authentically, are true to who they are, and support your journey. Be mindful of your words. Be confident when expressing what you need. In conversation, maintain eye contact, listen to others, and don’t shy away from saying ‘No’ when doing so supports your truth and your priorities. Practice good self-care. Plan your day in a way that focuses on your priorities, and make sure to include time for the healthy activities that keep you going: exercise, meditation, sleep. Give yourself a break. Everyone needs to get away from their routine from time to time. Whether that’s planning a date with yourself, going away for a weekend, or simply trying something totally new, you will feel refreshed and renewed. Get serious about understanding what drives you so that you can identify dreams and goals that support your authentic self. For example, consider your purpose, values, and interests, as well as external things like money, recognition, and lifestyle. Here’s the thing about being authentic: not only will you like and respect yourself more, your connections with the people in your life will be genuine and therefore, more satisfying. *Based on the work of Lyn Christian, SoulSalt Inc.

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken”

– Oscar Wilde

Jodie Brim

Jodie Brim, Owner

SHOWCASING THE STORY BEHIND THE BRAND.