FW October 2019

October 2019

October 2019 | 1

Wake Forest Baptist Health Birth Center

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Windsor Jewelers

October 2019 | 3

Second Harvest Food Bank

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Massage Envy

October 2019 | 5

Sixth Sense

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October 2019 | 7

Piedmont Federal Savings Bank

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Lewisville Laser & Aesthetics

October 2019 | 9

The View From This Side OCTOBER 2019 We’ve wrapped up summer and fall is officially here! So much has happened this year… Despite all the medical issues and the loss of my dad, I’ve managed to have a good summer. Brooke’s new dog, Carter, has been such a comfort to my heart! I love this grandpuppy of mine; it’s been so long, and I forgot how much I could love a dog!

It’s hard to believe that we’re already in October though. I love October.

It’s a wonderful time of year. Busy… Oh, so busy! But I wouldn’t have it any other way.

On October 12th, we are going on our 15th Forsyth Woman annual shopping trip, and specifically – our 6th Annual Tour de Boutique!

Originally a Consignment Shop Hop, the Forsyth Woman shopping trips have been an annual (and for three years – biannual) event since 2010! This is an event to be experienced to be fully appreciated! While I don’t consider myself a shopper, I save up all year to do some MAJOR shopping on this trip. It is so much fun to visit locally-owned boutiques with 60 friends – old and new alike! (Everyone becomes friends on Tour de Boutique Day!) This year is a sellout to the point that we had to find an overflow van! A special thank you to our friends at Fraleigh’s Boutique for loaning us their van for the day! And a special thank you to all our stores who offer such warm hospitality and special savings to our shoppers on Tour de Boutique Day! This month, we’re also working on our two seasonal publications – FW Engaged is coming out at the end of this month and Forsyth Community will be coming out late-January. We are excited for you to see them! The cover for FW Engaged is AH. MAZ. ING. Be on the lookout!

Be sure to check out the Sober Sis story on pages 68-69! This program is really an incredible one – an eye-opening one. And one that I can relate to personally (refer to my own column on drinking, page 82).

October is also Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Please check out our cover story -- WFBH Outpatient Imaging is featured! As you know, this is a very important topic to me. As a two-time survivor now, I am wellaware of how true the statistic is – 1 in 8 women will have breast cancer.

As we recognize the importance of this month, please make plans to join us at the Rosé @ Medaloni Cellars Event on Tuesday, October 8th.

Forsyth Woman is a proud sponsor of this event each year and all funds raised go towards providing free mammograms for women in need.

Finally – October 18th is the Leadercast Women – Take Courage event, organized by the Lewisville-Clemmons Chamber of Commerce! You won’t want to miss this and you can find details on Lewisville-Clemmons. com, and our story on page 48.

As always, I’m so grateful for all of you!

Please keep reading, keep sharing, and please always let our advertising partners know you saw them in this month’s issue!

Until next time,

Keela

PUBLISHER

ADVERTISING

OTHER CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Keela Johnson Keela@ForsythMags.com

Advertising@ForsythMags.com

Debbie Barr | Keith Biggs | Jen Brown | Adele Casanova

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Elisa Coppede | Rebecca Cooper | June DeLugas | Lisa Doss

EDITOR

Vonda Henderson

Martie Emory | Tabi Falcone | Mary Fonvielle | Julie Fritz

Brooke Eagle Brooke@ForsythMags.com

COVER PHOTOGRAPHY

Jon Eric Johnson Photography

Vonda Henderson | Christina E. Hugenschmidt, PHD

EDITOR’S ASSISTANT & EVENT SPECIALIST

CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS

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Jon Eric Johnson Photography Photo Artistry by Melinda

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FORSYTH WOMAN DISCLAIMER: Please note that the inclusion of stories and articles in Forsyth Woman magazine does not imply endorsement of products or people. The views of the authors are

presented for information and entertainment only, and may not necessarily reflect the views of Forsyth Woman. Specifically, Forsyth Woman in no way endorses any claim associated with health and/or well being with respect to any particular person. We disclaim all warranties, express or implied, including, but not limited to, implied warranties of merchantability and fitness for a particular purpose. We will not be held responsible or liable, directly or indirectly, for any loss or damage that is caused or alleged to have been caused in connection with the use of, or reliance on, any content in this magazine. Forsyth Woman reserves the right to deny any advertisement or listing that does not meet Forsyth Woman standards. Submissions are welcome but unsolicited materials are not guaranteed to be returned. Forsyth Woman assumes no responsibility for information, products, services or statements made by advertisers or editorial contributors. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher is prohibited. ©2005 by Forsyth Woman, Inc.

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Hip Chics Boutique

October 2019 | 11

October 2019

50 COVER STORY

Wake Forest Baptist Health Imaging One in Eight – Breast Cancer Awareness Month

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FEATURES 34 Overcoming Perfectionism 46 Not All Domestic Abuse is Physical 48 Leadercast Women: Lewisville-Clemmons 68 Highway of Life with SoberSis

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72 Characteristics of a Survivor 96 Easy DIY Halloween Costumes for Adults 108 Dress for Success Winston-Salem & Macy’s Present: Black Dresses & Red Bow Ties

GOLDMAN CENTER for Facial Plastic Surgery Facial Rejuvenation Minimally Invasive Surgery Skin Rejuvenation and Fractional Laser Therapy Fillers and Injectables

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717 Greenway Road | Suite A | Boone, NC | (828) 278-9230

FacialPlasticSurgeryNC.com October 2019 | 13

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112

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IN EVERY ISSUE 18 Keeping it Real 36 Dear June 43 NEW! What’s In My Dog’s Food?

58 Making Dollars Making $ense 62 ReDESIGNS by Ava 82 ReTHINKING Drinking

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110 Women on the Move 114 Hustle & Heart 118 To Your Health 122 Writers Who Read 142 Calendar of Events 146 Conversations with Your BFF

Budget Blinds

October 2019 | 15

How Movement and Social Engagement Could Help Us Better Understand Aging

BY CHRISTINA E. HUGENSCHMIDT, PHD

The health benefits of dance have been getting a lot of press lately.

In an article earlier this year, The New York Times referred to dance as the “kale of exercise” for the anti-aging benefits that research shows dance could provide. A 2003 study showed that dance was the only leisure-time physical activity associated with lower risk for dementia, and subsequent small trials have suggested that dance improves brain health.

Dance is particularly intriguing in the context of aging because it combines art with physical, cognitive, and social activity, all of which have known benefits for the aging body and brain.

Winston-Salem has its own clinical trial, funded through the National Institutes of Health, that is focused on the effects of dance, making it a great fit for the “City of Arts and Innovation.” The IMOVE study at Wake Forest Baptist Health is examining how dance affects the brains and bodies of older adults experiencing early stages of memory loss.

Many people don’t realize it, but changes in walking and balance often accompany memory loss. Studies show that people with memory loss are more likely to fall than others their same age who do not have memory loss, and falls are a main reason people with memory loss visit the emergency room. Memory loss is also linked with decreased social engagement. Dance might be a way to help with both movement and

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social engagement at the same time.

The pilot study for IMOVE showed that, in people with early-stage memory loss, participating in dance movement twice a week for eight weeks improved balance, mood and functional connections in the brain in regions that are important for motor movement and social engagement.

The pilot study was small, though, and these effects might not be the same across a larger group of people. Also, it didn’t answer important questions about why the dance movement was helpful. Did the movement increase brain connectivity, or did it increase the social interactions, or was it important to have movement and social contact together? The current larger study will answer these questions.

The IMOVE study is unique in several ways. First, it uses improvisational movement. That doesn’t mean people wear all black or twirl ribbons.

Improvisational movement is a modern dance form that uses openended movement cues rather than planned choreography.

This method has been honed by dancer and choreographer Christina Soriano for people of all ages and abilities in a method she calls IMPROVment®. Soriano is director of dance and associate provost for the arts and interdisciplinary programs at Wake Forest University. Using her IMPROVment approach, dancers can work to their own level of challenge safely, even while remaining seated. It

also creates a fun, playful atmosphere because there is no “right” way to do any movement.

Because the movements change rapidly, it is cognitively challenging.

At the same time, movements don’t have to be remembered from exercise to exercise or class to class. Another unique aspect of the IMOVE study is that people with memory concerns come with a partner, like a spouse, friend or family member, creating an opportunity to spend time together.

For the IMOVE study to succeed, it needs one thing: participants. The study needs people who are between 60 and 85 years old who have a diagnosed memory loss. They must have a family member, caregiver or study partner who will participate with them, attending classes twice a week for 12 weeks.

Study participants can move as much or as little as they both are able to, and can attend classes in either Greensboro or Winston-Salem.

To join the IMOVE study or to learn more, contact the IMOVE study team at 336713-MOVE (713-6683) or visit wakehealth.edu/beinvolved/ IMOVE. More information about the IMPROVment method is online at improvment.us.

Christina E. Hugenschmidt, PhD, is associate professor of Gerontology and Geriatric Medicine at Wake Forest Baptist Health and is leading the IMOVE study.

WFBH iMove

October 2019 | 17

Keeping It Real “WHY?”

BY DR. DEBBIE LANIER

relationship, God is never put off by our “Why?” In fact, this Lover of our souls welcomes our questions.

Think about this. In Jesus’ deepest agony, He cried out to the Father, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” Essentially, God’s Son pleaded, “Where are You?” or “Why is this happening?”

Jesus uttered these words in the hour of His greatest struggle. Like us, He reached a place that surpassed His natural capacity to comprehend. Notice, God didn’t rush in with all the answers when Jesus cried out “Why?” Answers were not what Jesus needed in that moment.

Sometimes we convince ourselves we urgently need our questions answered, as if mere understanding will alleviate the pain. In our agonizing moments, God knows that answers will not help or heal us.

It’s His very Presence that we need most.

Even in His greatest sorrow and abandonment, Jesus remained surrendered to God, trusting the One He could not understand.

Have you ever found yourself in a battle that threatens to topple everything you cherish off its very foundation?

Maybe you are contending for your family, or your future; whatever it is, everything that can be shaken seems to be shaking!

In those moments, anxiety tries to seize your soul without reprieve. The longer the crisis lingers, desperation metastasizes like a cancer, attacking any hope left in your heart. At this point, the battle no longer rages around you.

It now wages war within you.

The intensity of the crisis seeks to undermine everything you believe about God. You wrestle with thoughts and doubts you assumed were already settled in you. Your absolute certainty about the One who cannot shake begins shaking! Hear me: Hell’s goal is to destabilize your very core and dismantle you from the inside out!

In these seasons, some folks rather stoically insist that you should never ask God “Why?” (as if your Everlasting Father would get angry and cut you off or something).

After years of walking hand in hand with this Good Father, I’ve come to realize that when a devoted son or daughter asks questions from a heart of intimate and loving

We know how the story ends. Jesus conquered death and the grave, triumphed over every semblance of defeat. But can we forget we know that for a moment? If we linger where Jesus tarried, in that place of greatest despair, we realize that He understands us in our own places of profound pain. Jesus has truly stood in our place. As our advocate, He empathizes with the intensity of our struggle (Hebrews 4:15). In His deepest being, Jesus knows EXACTLY how we feel. He identifies with our wrestling and meets us right here with our anguished questions.

So, it’s ok to feel as fragile as a child crying in the darkness.

When we call on His Name, the One who knows exactly how we feel comes to us and brings what we need most . . . the gift of Himself. As He hovers, we realize we don’t need to cling to all the answers. The One who IS the answer lovingly clings to us.

Time and again, His Presence assures my quivering soul that even when I walk through the valley of deepest darkness, I need not be afraid. He is with me. He will not leave me (Psalm 23:4). I don’t hold the answers, but THE Answer holds me!

Friend, He’s got you, and He’s got this. Let Him wrap you in Himself, then rest in knowing everything is going to be all right. You WILL get to the other side of this, and you will not do it alone!

For comments or prayer, contact Dr. Lanier at PastorDebbie@HopeCommunityChurch.tv.

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1199 Hayes Forest Drive Winston-Salem, NC 27106 | (336) 759-1044 | www.brookridgecommunity.org

October 2019 | 19

An Award-Winning Practice Redefining The Aesthetics Industry!

BY MARTIE EMORY The Better Business Bureau recently presented Restoration MedSpa with its prestigious Torch Award for ethics. This came as no surprise to its many clients across the Triad, who trust the practice with their noninvasive cosmetic treatments and services.

Since opening Restoration MedSpa almost four years ago, Marisa Faircloth, PA-C, has seen great success and huge growth in a field she has been passionately immersed in for more than 35 years. A graduate of Wake Forest University School of Medicine, Marisa is proud to see her practice—dedicated to the finest in skin care and body treatments—continue to flourish with expanded services and innovative techniques.

“From the start, we have always stressed attention on the interpersonal relationships with our patients, whom we consider family,” says Marisa. “Their comfort and satisfaction are our primary objectives.”

Marisa founded Restoration MedSpa as a single provider with one part-time aesthetician and a medical concierge, working out of a relatively small space of about 1,600 square feet. Last March, the practice doubled its space, adding a designer-worthy entrance that sets the mood of tranquil luxury with a beautiful lobby and ultra comfortable reception area, three additional treatment rooms, a consultation room, a professional photography room for the all-important before and after photos, and a full make-up bar to reapply makeup after treatments.

“Our clients always leave ‘put together’ to go back to the office or move on with their busy days,” explains

Marisa. “This is an important touch that’s extremely important.”

Over the years, Marisa has expanded the staff to ten, including another aesthetician, a physician assistant, an office manager, a CoolSculpting specialist, a marketing director and another medical concierge. The newest addition, Kimberly Baggerly, family nurse practitioner, has been in nursing for six years and recently relocated from the Richmond area to join the team.

Restoration MedSpa is known for offering results-oriented procedures for treating the effects of aging skin, along with facials, hair removal, weight loss, and the most advanced medical grade skincare products in the industry. With a customer base that is loyal and supportive (both women and men), Restoration MedSpa’s reputation is widely recognized.

The practice is currently ranked as the leading injectable practice in the area, among the Top 500 Allergen injectable practices in the nation and above 99.5% of practices nationwide.

Restoration MedSpa is also ranked in the Top 500 CoolSculpting practices nationwide and is ranked as an Ultra Premier Ultherapy practice.

Simply walking into Restoration MedSpa, one feels an immediate sense of calm, comfort,

Marisa Faircloth and her team received the prestigious Torch Award for ethical practices at the Better Business Bureau’s annual event on September 9.

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and confidence, knowing what lies ahead is a true treat for the body and the soul. Now the practice is growing again, with the current construction of two more treatment rooms to accommodate new services, including CoolTone by CoolSculpting (an amazing device to stimulate muscle tone without working out) and MiraDry (a device to end underarm sweat and odor, and reduce hair).

“We will also open a state-of-the-art Himalayan Salt relaxation room with a recently released Hydromassage chair to complete the relaxation experience,” says Marisa.

With such a wide range of services and options, Restoration MedSpa offers complimentary consultations to assess the best journey for each client. Schedule an initial visit online at restorationmedspa.com, or call 336-999-8295. Visit the WinstonSalem location at 250 Executive Park Blvd., Suite 105, and the Greensboro location at 1002 N. Church Street, Suite 101.

Restoration Med Spa

October 2019 | 21

KEEPING THE FUN IN FASHION!

BY MARTIE EMORY As the adorable boutique Swanky & Swag celebrates its first year in business, owner and visionary Whitney Boger couldn’t be happier with how her dream has unfolded.

“Our first year has been great,” smiles Whitney.

“It’s been overwhelming, with all the support from the community. We have held several holiday events and ladies nights, and have been able to meet and connect with so many women and other local businesses owners in our area.”

Add to that a celebration on October 25 and 26 to commemorate year one – and the perfect chance to visit the boutique for the first time if you haven’t yet sampled their enviable Southern style, and ever-changing inventory that never disappoints.

The vision to blend Whitney’s hair salon and boutique idea was a match made in heaven, and combined with her passion for interacting with people, and her contagious creative spirit, has resulted in a successful business venture and the fulfillment of a happy personal goal.

Whitney’s journey into the retail arena began with her love for jewelry making and has become a local treasure where clients find items they wouldn’t find anywhere else, with styles to fit varied tastes, and sizes that range from small to plus size. She’s also driven to keep prices affordable and accessible to a wide range of customers. If you’re a Swanky & Swag regular, you’ve grown to love how Whitney’s own vintage style shines through, and the boutique has added several new lines over the past year.

“We’ve added Charleston Rice Beads, made in Charleston, SC, which customers love,” says Whitney. With a color palette that mirrors the beauty of Charleston and a vintage look that pays tribute to the city’s history, these beads have become a hit with mothers and daughters alike, making them ideal to pass down as gifts.

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There’s also top-selling Sheila Fajl jewelry, a line of beautiful, lightweight, extremely durable earrings and bangles made in Brazil.

For the fall season, Whitney has listened intently to special requests from customers, and found that people love super-soft fabrics, versatility, and pockets! (No surprise there, right, ladies?)

“Our clothing styles can be worn many different ways – from a day of running errands to a night on the town,” explains Whitney. “And from leopard print to snake print, we have it!”

The boutique also carries the uniquely fun Coconuts by Matisse footwear and a line of best-selling high-top sneakers that are a must for your fall wardrobe. With your favorite guys in mind, Swanky & Swag also carries a men’s line of Southern-style shirts and hats from Fieldstone Outdoor Provisions, and Old South Apparel, made right here in North Carolina!

Besides greeting you at the boutique, Swanky & Swag will be involved with several events this fall, including Southern Charm at the Farm on October 12 at Tanglewood Park in Clemmons.

“This is our fourth time participating in this event, and it gets better every single time!”

says Whitney.

“Look for us on “camper row” where we will be set up in our 1972 vintage Shasta camper, with a variety of clothes and jewelry ready for you to shop!” (That same day, Swanky & Swag will be participating in Forsyth Woman Magazine’s Tour de Boutique!) On November 3, the girls will be at the Divine Llama Vineyard in East Bend.

“This is our second year participating in this event, and it’s a perfect time to stock up on Christmas goodies, along with wine, food and, of course, llamas!” says Whitney.

For Whitney, the launch of Swanky & Swag has been very much a family event.

“My family – including my very patient husband – has been extremely supportive,” she says. “What fills my heart most is my eight-year-old daughter, Paisley, who watches my every move at the store and soaks in the business aspect. She has recently started crafting earrings herself, and her ‘vision’ was to bring the earrings to the store to sell, using her earnings to buy, in Paisley’s own words, a ‘bunch’ of cats! Instead, we have decided to donate a portion of the sales to give back to local animal shelters. The cost of the earrings is between $6 and $8, and she is donating $2 from every pair sold to a different animal organization in our area.”

There is clearly no shortage of family, fun, and fashion at Swanky & Swag, located at 1337 Lewisville Clemmons Road in Lewisville.

Come and introduce a friend to their unique collection of clothing and accessories! Reach the salon and boutique at 336-778-0111, online at swankyandswagllc.com, and follow them on Facebook for more information on upcoming events and brand new merchandise!

Swanky & Swag Boutique

5 OFF purchase of $25 or more $

cannot be combined with any other offer

www.facebook.com/swankyandswag | @swankyandswag 1337 Lewisville Clemmons Rd | Lewisville, N.C. 27023 | 336-778-0111 October 2019 | 23

Vic Khemsara, MD

Summit Eye Care

Schedule your general eye exam today.

Keith Biggs, OD

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.

– 1 Chronicles 16:34 24 | ForsythWoman.com

Laser Cataract Surgery Glaucoma Treatment • Diabetic Treatment Multifocal Lens Implants • General Eye Exams

www.summiteyecare.net • www.facebook.com/SummitEyeCare 336.765.0960 • 3073 Trenwest Drive • Winston-Salem, NC 27103

EYELID  LUMPS & BUMPS

BY KEITH BIGGS, O.D.

One of the most common complaints of patients are elevated bumps along the eyelid. If the bump on the eyelid becomes painful, red and swollen, a doctor consult is imperative. There are three common eyelid bumps that can occur.

TYPES OF EYELID BUMPS

Styes: The most common eyelid bump is styes. They form when bacteria enter the eyelids’ oil glands. These red bumps grow very close to the eyelashes and can also cause soreness and pain.

These bumps can cause your eye to water or itch and become sensitive to light. It usually takes a few days for the actual stye to form.

Chalazions: They are tissue pockets that are filled with liquid. They appear when your eyelids’ oil-producing glands are blocked. They are usually found a little higher up on the eyelid as compared to styes. These bumps do not hurt as much.

However, if left untreated, they can become very red, swollen and painful causing a huge amount of discomfort.

Xanthelasma: This is a harmless yellow bump that occurs when fat accumulates under your skin. Older adults tend to be more susceptible to these bumps which can be the result of a high cholesterol level.

MAIN CAUSES

When bacteria makes its way to your oil glands, it leads to an inflamed stye. The common bacteria associated with styes is known as staphylococcus. This condition is responsible for the inflammation of eyelash follicles.

Styes that do not drain easily often leads to the formation of chalazia.

HOT COMPRESS – AN EFFECTIVE TREATMENT TO GET RID OF EYELID BUMPS

One of the best and most effective home remedies for an eyelid bump is to apply a hot compress to the area for close to 10-15 minutes, at least two to three times daily. This practice will help improve circulation to the area and allow the rupture and drainage

Gallery & Gift Shop

of the pimple. Warning: Try not to squeeze the pimple or pop it with a needle in order to drain it.

Rupturing the bump could lead to an even worse infection. The action could introduce bacteria from your skin to the bump.

Contact lenses should be avoided as it could cause irritation and pain. Switch to glasses until the pain subsides or the bump drains.

WHEN SHOULD YOU SEE A DOCTOR?

Most bumps or pimples that form on the eyelid are harmless or mild.

However, some of them could have been caused by a serious medical condition. If your vision is compromised, you will have to make an appointment with a doctor immediately. If your eyes water or hurt in low lighting, you will have to seek medical attention.

If not treated, the bumps could lead to an infection.

Dr. Renee Healing Art

WAYS TO PREVENT BUMPS FROM FORMING ON EYELID

You can avoid pimples forming on your eyelid by maintaining basic hygiene.

1) Wash your hands regularly to prevent the formation of styes.

2) Avoid touching your eyes unless your hands have been washed with warm, soapy water.

3) You can prevent the formation of chalazia by washing your eyelids once daily if you have blepharitis. If you feel a bump coming on, make sure you undertake a hot water compress to prevent growth.

Taking early measures will prevent eyelid bumps.

4) Keep a check on your cholesterol levels by opting for healthy food. Exercising and controlling your weight will prevent the formation of xanthelasma.

Summit Eye Care treats these types of lid problems on a daily basis. Call 336.765.0960 if you have this eye care need or others.

Everything Breast Cancer is 20% off the month of October Cards, Prints, AluminArte, Giclees, Woven Throws and other Gift Items

Visit showroom Wednesday - Saturday 1-5pm or by appointment.

1401 Samuel Street, between RingMaster Jeweler & The Carriage House Restaurant Mention this ad and receive a FREE card!

For full story, visit our website (ForsythMags.com).

October 2019 | 25

BY JULIE FRITZ There is something so special about taking time for yourself.

Taking the time to do things that make you feel beautiful and making wellness a priority is something we all need, but not something we all do. At HALO Aveda Salon and Spa, they believe in the importance of wellness and beauty and how those two things go together. They have made it a priority to not only provide exceptional services to their guests, but to help them achieve a vision of their best selves through beauty and wellness care.

Owner Shanda Green opened HALO Aveda Salon and Spa in 2012. She wanted to open a space dedicated to beauty and wellness, and when she learned about the mission of Aveda, she knew she wanted to be a part of it. “I really believe in Aveda’s mission. They believe in caring for the world we live in, not only with their sustainable products, but by also giving back and being an example of environmental leadership. I am so proud to own the largest and most comprehensive Aveda Salon in the area and that we can provide people with organic, clean products that are paraben and carcinogenic free.” Another great part of Aveda is the culture they promote. She went on to say, “I also love that the Aveda culture focuses on relaxation and stress relief. We practice that in our space and promote it to our guests by reminding us all to take moments of wellness for ourselves daily. We also provide an array of services that can provide each guest with a total wellness experience.”

Not only is HALO Aveda Salon and Spa the largest and most comprehensive Aveda Salon in the area, it is also an Aveda Concept Salon. Having this distinction means they are exclusive to the high-quality products that Aveda provides. This is only part of what sets them apart and makes them so special. You will find they have a wide variety of services and spaces available and have recently upgraded their space to provide the best possible experience to their guests.

The spa area boasts beautifully appointed treatment rooms in a calm and relaxing environment. With two massage therapists, two estheticians and three nail techs they are able to offer a variety of massage, tanning, waxing, nail care, and skincare options to help you focus on beauty and wellness.

Newly upgraded spa technology has also allowed them to expand their skincare options to include a variety of facials and DiamondDermabrasion.

The salon space, with an increased number of stations, is separate from the spa and has a high energy upbeat feel.

Ten stylists are available to provide you with an ideal guest experience. Whether you are looking for a simple cut and style, or a beautiful coloring experience, the stylists at HALO Aveda Salon are experienced and educated in the latest Aveda techniques to give you the perfect look.

To make your experience complete, the guest services team is there to guide you from the moment you make contact with them throughout your experience at HALO Aveda Salon and Spa. They will greet you at the front desk and work to make sure your experience is ideal. They are focused on client care and all aspects of it. They can even help you find which one of the variety of packages available will best suit your needs.

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If you are ready to pamper yourself and have a truly amazing beauty and wellness experience, book your appointment at HALO Aveda Salon and Spa today. They are located at 690 Jonestown Rd. Suite 400E in Winston-Salem. You can contact their guest services team by calling (336) 893-9604. For more information or to book an appointment online, visit their website at haloaveda.com. Be sure to follow them on Facebook and Twitter at HALO Aveda.

RELAX • RENEW • RESTORE

Halo Salon & Spa

20% off of Facials & Massage Services haloaveda.com (336) 893-9604 Hours 10:00 AM - 8:00 PM 690 Jonestown Road Winston-Salem, North Carolina 27103

Adjacent to ETC consignment & Tinderbox Fitness

Beauty | Wellness | Culture October 2019 | 27

PHOTO BY JON ERIC JOHNSON PHOTOGRAPHY

Duke Eye Center: A Growing Vision Duke Eye Center is proud to have been a part of the Forsyth community for more than 20 years and has built a well-established eye care practice based on providing expert care to treat patients with blinding eye diseases. A national top-ranked program – seventh-best eye center in the country by U.S. News & World Report – Duke providers are on the forefront of patient care.

Faramarz Hidaji, MD, specializes in pediatric ophthalmology and oculofacial plastic surgery services. He views each interaction with a patient as a chance to offer a positive change in a patient’s life. Dr. Hidaji is passionate about fighting blindness around the world and reinforces his commitment by participating in third world surgical mission trips, volunteering with Healing the Children NJ, Project Orbis, and the World Cataract Foundation.

The multi-disciplinary team at Duke Eye Center provides care for common to complex eye diseases. Specialty-trained eye doctors are focused on corneal disease, cataracts, glaucoma, dry eye, and eyelid and facial cosmetic surgery, aesthetic skin enhancements, and pediatric ophthalmology. Patients receive prompt, effective treatment at the earliest possible stage of their condition to prevent or halt the progression of diseases that lead to blindness.

Roshni Ranjit-Reeves, MD, also known as “Dr. Rosh,” is an oculofacial plastic surgery specialist. She specializes in plastic surgery and reconstruction of the eyes, including eyelids, orbit, eye socket, and lacrimal system. Dr. Rosh also performs minimally invasive anti-aging procedures for facial rejuvenation such as injectables and neurotoxins, and is passionate about bringing reconstruction and aesthetic services to the Triad.

To support Duke Eye Center of Winston-Salem’s ongoing commitment to serve the Forsyth community, personalized care, and a tradition of excellence, four new fellowship-trained providers, offering the latest treatments in ophthalmology have joined the practice along with Frank Moya, MD; William Rafferty, OD; Dianna Seldomridge, MD; Terry Semchyshyn, MD; and Carol Ziel, MD.

Kenneth Weinlander, MD, specializes in medical and surgical diseases of the cornea. He provides cataract management, performs cataract surgery with toric and multifocal interocular lens implantation, and corneal transplantation using the most advanced surgical procedures. He also provides LASIK and PRK surgery, and corneal tattoos for intractable glare from iris defects.

Meet the new ophthalmologists:

All Duke Eye Center providers focus on individualized care for every patient, knowing that each patient is unique and requires a specialized treatment plan.

Jiaxi Ding, MD, is a glaucoma specialist who strives to implement an array of methods to treat this chronic and potentially blinding disease, including lasers, surgery, and Minimally Invasive Glaucoma Surgery (MIGS). She also offers cataract surgery using advanced technology with toric and multifocal intraocular lens implantation.

Duke Eye Center of Winston-Salem is delighted to continue to serve the community with an expanded team, located at 1340 Creekshire Way, Suite 100. Discover more about them at dukehealth.org/locations/duke-eyecenter-of-winston-salem, or call 336-768-3240 to schedule an appointment.

Office hours are Monday through Friday 8 a.m. – 5 p.m.

28 | ForsythWoman.com

Serving Forsyth for more than

20 years

Dukeeye.org | 336-768-3240 1340 Creekshire Way | Winston Salem, NC 27103

Meet our New Ophthalmologists

JIAXI DING, MD

FARAMARZ HIDAJI, MD

Glaucoma Specialist Cataract Management

Pediatric Ophthalmologist Oculofacial Specialist

ROSHNI RANJIT-REEVES, MD “DR ROSH” Oculofacial Specialist Facial Rejuvenation Aesthetic and Reconstructive Surgery

Duke Eye Center

KENNETH WEINLANDER, MD Cornea Specialist Cataract Management Laser Vision Correction

Our expert eye care specialists provide the latest treatment strategies personalized to your needs.

FRANK J. MOYA, MD

WILLIAM B. RAFFERTY, OD

Glaucoma Specialist Cataract Management

Optometrist Dry Eye Treatment

DIANNA L. SELDOMRIDGE, MD

TERRY M. SEMCHYSHYN, MD

CAROL J. ZIEL, MD

Comprehensive Ophthalmologist Dry Eye Treatment

Cornea Specialist Cataract Management

Glaucoma Specialist Cataract Management Medical Director

October 2019 | 29

PHOTOS BY MADI HILL

HakkaChow

Monday, October 7th • 5pm - until…

Specials Appetizer Specials, Half Price Wine & Selected Cocktails $6 615 Saint George Sq Ct | Winston-Salem, NC 27103 | (336) 893-8178 | hakka-chow.com

October 2019 | 31

MONDAY 11 AM - 7 PM (1ST TEE TIME 12 PM) | TUESDAY - SUNDAY 7 AM - 7 PM (1ST TEE TIME 8 AM)

439 BEAVER CREEK ROAD, LEXINGTON | 336.956.6245 | WWW.SAPONACLUB.COM

BY ROSEY, PHOTOS BY MADI HILL

32 | ForsythWoman.com

Brace yourselves. Are you sitting down? I’m getting ready to tell you about a brand new restaurant in Lexington. And – wait for it – it’s NOT a barbecue restaurant. I know, I was shocked, too. But even better, I was in for a real treat when I visited Sapona Bar & Grille for this month’s Rosey’s Review!

I admit, when I saw the Lexington address, I did a little bit of a double-take. But, don’t let the address deter you. It’s actually much closer than you’d think. I drove from Clemmons and arrived within 20 minutes. It’s a pretty and scenic little drive that gives you extra time to work up an appetite – which you’ll want to have when you visit Sapona for yourself.

And, Sapona is worthy of a visit. Set in a picturesque neighborhood, this semi-private club is a lovely, tucked away, hidden gem of Lexington. With golf, swimming and tennis – the property is designed to be enjoyed by friends and family. Chad Newton, the General Manager and Director of Golf, is overseeing the operations and doing a stellar job!

With private event space, patio dining that overlooks the golf course and a fully stocked bar – Sapona is an excellent location with lots to offer.

Upon arrival, I met with Jack and Pam Welker.

Regular readers may remember their names. As the owners of Uptown Hospitality Group, they serve as restaurant consultants for a variety of local restaurants, including Salem Glen Country Club (which was featured in April’s Rosey’s Review). Jack and Pam are the experts who have been working with Sapona Golf Swim and Tennis Club since February of 2019, preparing the formerly private kitchen for public dining.

The new ownership made a very wise decision when they hired Jack and Pam. Their expertise has helped the property transformation tremendously as more and more people realize that they can dine at the restaurant whether they are club members or not. Being familiar with Jack and Pam’s approach to dining, I knew I was in for an evening of exceptional food at Sapona Bar & Grille. So, without further ado, let me tell you all about it.

Appetizers first! But, I could have made a meal out of any of them. First up – Mini Black Bean Cakes. As a former vegetarian, I love

black bean anything. They were a staple in my diet for a long time. While I do eat meat now, I still enjoy black bean cakes, but these were the best I’ve had in a long time. The plate was prettily arranged with the mini black bean cakes served over a bed of corn, lettuce and drizzled with a wine vinaigrette. Freshly sliced avocado topped the dish, and it was hard to turn away from those and save room for everything else that was coming.

We also tried the Popcorn Shrimp appetizer,

and this was a very generously portioned appetizer. Seriously. A half-pound-of-shrimp kind of generous. That’s a lot of shrimp. Handbreaded, this fresh and tender shrimp was served with house made tartar and cocktail sauces. I honestly don’t know which sauce I liked better. They were both amazing.

Our last appetizer of the evening was the Spinach-

Artichoke Dip. I think that whoever first paired

spinach with artichokes, and then threw in some creamy cheese for good measure is deserving of sainthood. Nom nom nom…it’s a dish that, when it’s done well, is a major win for everyone. Chopped spinach was mixed with artichoke hearts, sour cream, cream cheese, Parmesan and Jack cheese. That’s a whole lot of cheesy goodness. Toasted pita bread comes with it, but honestly, if you just dug into it with a spoon, I wouldn’t judge you.

We also had a chance to try the Lexington Stew – we were in Lexington, after all. This is comfort food in a bowl. It was so hearty, and it could easily be a meal. I am extremely curious if they would be open to selling it by the gallons around January. While I love soup any time of year, I’d love to have a bowl of it on a cold, winter day! Made with pinto beans, collard greens, tomatoes and sausage – the secret to this one is BBQ broth. Definitely an ode to Lexington roots!

As we transitioned to the dinner round, we started with the Steakhouse Salad. What can I say

here? It’s a salad worthy of a standing ovation. I love steak. And, this steak was perfectly cooked to tender perfection and served over a bed of iceberg lettuce with cucumbers, tomatoes, onions, bacon and topped with bleu cheese crumbles. Outstanding.

With housemade bleu cheese dressing, it’s a hearty salad that is simply delicious!

We were invited to try the Catch of the Day. While this rotates, we sampled fresh, breaded cod with grilled scallops. Served on a bed of seasoned rice, the cod and scallops were cooked to perfection. The cod was drizzled with a Thai-inspired sweet and spicy glaze that added a great bite of flavor.

Our last entrée of the evening was the Chicken

Tetrazzini. For the pasta lovers out there – you must try this one. Grilled marinated chicken breast is served over creamy linguini pasta that has been tossed with mushrooms, bacon and peas. It’s a hearty, filling dish that is delectably delicious.

I never know where we’ll find room for dessert,

but find it, we did. We first tried the Cheesecake, which was in a word, divine. Creamy. Oh, so creamy.

With a buttery graham cracker crust and drizzled with both strawberry and caramel sauce – it was incredible.

As much as I loved the cheesecake, the showstopper, in my humble opinion, was the Carrot Cake. A

thick, warm slice arrived at the table with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. In fact, the cake was so warm, the ice cream melted as we tried to get pictures! But, the cake had the perfect layer of cream cheese icing and was chock full of nuts, coconut flakes and other yummy goodness. I’m not sure if I’ve ever had ice cream with carrot cake before and, now, having had it, I’m not sure why more people don’t pair these two together. They work together brilliantly!

And, that’s a wrap! Another Rosey’s Review finished and fond memories made of another delicious meal! I am really excited about this restaurant. I am planning to visit again soon and hope you will, too, especially since it’s now open for the public to enjoy! When you stop by, be sure to tell them that Rosey sent ya!

October 2019 | 33

Overcoming

PERFECTIONISM

BY BRITTANY M. ORIE LEAK

Perfectionism is a real thing. The obsession to be perfect in today’s culture can really play on our minds, affect our performance at work, school, even at home, and—ironically—can hinder us from being our best. Of course, we all want to reach our highest potential, be well thought of, and avoid making humiliating mistakes. We all want that perfect body, the fullest, shiniest hair, the most rewarding career, the greatest family, and the most desirable material goods. We want to be the smartest, most successful, healthiest, and best dressed we can possibly be! But striving towards perfection only brings us to a solid, obscure brick wall that blocks us from going forward.

This is to the woman who feels barred by her desire for perfection.

WHAT DOES PERFECTIONISM LOOK LIKE?

Just as someone can be a workaholic, a shopaholic, or even an alcoholic, one can be a perfectionist to the same degree. Here are some common qualities of perfectionists: • “All or nothing” thinking. Perfectionists want to give their all and refuse to do anything in between. They don’t operate in gray areas because they feel like there’s no reward in that. Either they put in their best work or they don’t work at all.

• Self-critical. Perfectionists never believe who they are and what they do is good enough.

They have an ideal expectation of how they want their work, or performance, to turn out. If their results don’t live up to those expectations, or if they notice even the tiniest

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flaw, they would critique themselves harshly and focus on that one flaw while ignoring everything else they did well.

• Procrastination. This is probably the last quality to expect from a perfectionist.

But these individuals are prone to feel overwhelmed by a huge task or project and will likely doubt their abilities to the point of inaction. This is caused by overthinking.

• Setting unrealistic standards. Perfectionistic individuals are always dissatisfied because they set unrealistically high standards for themselves and others. They may feel as though their way of thinking is out of their league whenever they come up short with accomplishing certain goals. Their focus is to feel perfect, not to necessarily be perfect.

• Fear of failure. Failure is a perfectionist’s worst nightmare. They are quick to take ownership when something doesn’t go as planned.

This sense of guilt lurks in the back of their minds and makes them doubt their abilities to carry out future tasks. Once they experience tangible failure, their self-confidence becomes tainted.

There is a way to not only reduce perfectionism, but apply it in a healthy way.

Accepting mistakes. Many perfectionistic people have fears of making mistakes, mainly in the presence of others. When this happens, they may believe that others are scrutinizing them and judging them. But most of the time this is not the case. Some people actually feel

relieved when they see others make mistakes because it helps them identify and relate to that person even more (“Wow, I thought I was the only one with that problem!”).

Making mistakes is one of life’s hidden treasures and perfectionists must know that.

Mistakes help us realize what we did wrong so we can continue to move forward towards our potential. Getting “stuck” with our mistakes and brooding over them only stagnates us. So remember, mistakes are inevitable and they are meant to push us forward.

Set realistic expectations. Perfectionists have an unhealthy habit of setting unrealistically high standards for themselves and their work. This is the easiest way to set oneself up for failure because they are setting standards that they can’t reach. Perfectionists must know their own strengths, weaknesses, abilities, and even their own limits in order to know how to set attainable goals for themselves.

Compare yourself to yourself. Comparing ourselves to others can completely rob us of our joy, self-esteem, and worth. Even if they don’t want to admit it publicly, some perfectionists habitually compare their talents, abilities, and even physical appearance to the next “perfect” person on social media. I always say, the only person to be better than is who you were yesterday.

Perfectionism can be hindering, but always leave yourself elbow room for growth, be pleased with yourself, and remind yourself that you’re doing a good job.

Your Kiss is on my Lips Beautiful Dresses & Sportswear for Fall 2019

Nitsa’s Apparel

“Love Yourself”

Winston-Salem 336.725.1999 107 South Stratford Road, Stratford Village

nitsas.com #wewearnitsas October 2019 | 35

Tis the Season of Fall October 12-13 and October 19-20 – Parade of Homes Each year in the fall, we are the design firm that has the privilege of designing, developing a theme, and choosing the colors for an entry into the Winston-Salem Home Builders Association Parade of Homes. We begin by thinking through all our options with the builder, such as the lot’s location, style, and size of the home, and the budget. It is almost a year-long process to come up with a plan for the brick, roof shingles, siding, other outdoor elements, and all the inside materials. This past year in October 20l8, Buena Vista Gables was such an interesting adventure for June DeLugas Interiors and the entourage of team players that worked with the builder to complete an exceptionally lovely home.

My associates and I sat down to come up with a theme for our new 2019 challenge. We began with a simple fabric sample that was a new introduction from Thibaut. Fabrics are the best way to get an inspiration. We laid a large sample on our worktable so we could view it daily to feel inspired. Since we went to the Atlanta market this past summer to see fresh new ideas, it was good to find a fabric that simulated the mood that we brought back with us.

The colors were so soft and very up to date. A custom color was given to the cabinet maker for the island and the laundry cabinets. Normally, we paint an 18” x 20” board with the colors we plan to use, but we had five colors we selected from the fabrics and placed them on the table near the fabric like a fan of cards. These colors were viewed daily until we felt comfortable that the shades were perfect. This included the shutter’s color, as well. We also carried this color to the back walls of the bookshelves in the large family room. Color behind bookcases can also be used if there is a lot of white.

Sometimes, we use wallpaper there for a textural and dimensional effect.

All the lighting was hand-selected and ordered by June DeLugas Interiors, which is another one of our specialties. We order lighting early in the year, as soon as the new introductions come out, so we will get them before the showcase house date. People walk through our Parade showcase, and they recognize that the lighting is unique. Selecting lighting is also an art. The light fixtures need to dance together and flow throughout the house to stimulate a feeling. We normally start with the large fixtures in the dining, family, and breakfast rooms. They are the core of the house. Then we move out to the bedrooms and bathrooms. Usually, we select something awesome for the foyer to make that first impression when entering the home. These little details and finishing touches make all the difference.

© JAY SINCLAIR

We look forward to fall and designing the showcase house every year!

Don’t miss the 2019 Fall Parade of Homes, October 12-13 and October 19-20. Tis the Season of Fall.

36 | ForsythWoman.com

You’re Invited

Christmas Open House November 19th 10:00am – 7:00pm 2575 Old Glory Road, Clemmons, North Carolina.

Lisa Woods will be entertaining with live music from 3-6pm.

We will have accessories, bedding, Christmas décor, artwork, lamps, furniture, and more available for purchase from our showroom floor.

Light refreshments will be included.

Come let us inspire your Christmas décor!

Food, fun, and entertainment at June DeLugas Interiors, Inc. Don’t miss it.

God Bless,

Residential & Commercial Strategic Planning North Carolina’s Premier Interior Design Firm 2575 Old Glory Road, Clemmons | 336-778-1030

Pops of Color, Make a Statement

June DeLugas Interiors

© JAY SINCLAIR

It All Begins with

Turn Key Remodeling • Luxury Residential Design • Home Furnishings & Accessories Lighting • Rugs & Carpet • Fine Bedding • Home Improvement 5 Years!

2018, 2017, 2016, 2016, 2013

2018 WINNER!

Check out our website & Facebook page for Design Tips & Weekly Blog!

www.junedelugasinteriors.com Instagram • Facebook • Houzz

October 2019 | 37

Takes Care of All Your Car Care Needs

BY JULIE FRITZ, PHOTOS BY JON ERIC JOHNSON PHOTOGRAPHY proud to be a part of this business and also proud to be the owner of the 2nd largest shop in the USowned by a single woman.”

When something goes wrong with your car, your first instinct is to panic. There is so much to think about, especially if you don’t know where you will go to get it fixed. Do you have a shop that you trust to do great work? If you are new to the area or just haven’t found the right auto shop yet, you need to check out Pat’s Body Shop & Towing because it is the right place for all your auto care needs. And in case you didn’t know, they are a full-service shop that can take care of anything from oil changes to major collision repair on any type of vehicle.

A LONG-STANDING WINSTON-SALEM BUSINESS

Since 1964, Pat’s Body Shop & Towing has been providing quality auto repair to this community. What started out as a small operation out of George “Pat” Scarlette’s home has grown into a full-service auto repair shop that maintains its tradition of being a family business. In 1997, owner Sandra Scarlette bought the business from her brother Pat. She has continued the legacy by making sure they continue to provide the best customer service possible paired with the quality customers expect from every service they provide. She also prides herself on being a woman who owns an auto shop. Sandra said, “I have been doing this since I was 14, I am

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A VARIETY OF SERVICES AVAILABLE

When Pat’s Body Shop & Towing says they are a full-service auto shop, they mean full service and they provide 24/7 towing as well. Their services include complete collision repair, mechanical repair, complete interior work, custom fabrication, restorations, frame repair, automotive glass, convertible tops, water leaks, detailing, paintless dent repair, fiberglass, tires, and insurance negotiation. The only thing they are unable to do is state inspection, but don’t fret. There is a shop right next door that does inspections, and they work with them to assure you that your inspection can be done while it is in the care of Pat’s Auto Body & Towing. With such a variety of services, you can rest assured that they can do any job you have in mind for any make and model.

AN EXCEPTIONAL STAFF YOU CAN COUNT ON

You can’t help but notice that the staff at Pat’s Auto Body & Towing is exceptional. They have mechanical, interior and body experts to service your vehicle in every way. Between their three full-time mechanics, they can work on any and all repairs. There is a BMW and Mercedes master technician that can save you over $100 an hour compared to local competitors. They work on every make and model and are even able to do full-service repair and bodywork on classic cars and painting and interior work on boats, motorcycles, and airplanes.

FOCUS ON CUSTOMER SERVICE

At Pat’s Auto Body & Towing, you will find their customer service is second to none.

They have made it their vision and mission to provide personal one on one service to their customers. You will always find that great care is taken to provide you with expert information and exceptional quality when it comes to your auto needs, no matter how big or small the job is. They take the time to hear you and put together the right plan for your vehicle every time.

If you are looking for a place that can meet all your auto care needs, look no further.

Pat’s Body Shop and Towing located at 5720 Country Club Rd. in Winston-Salem and is open Monday through Friday from 8:00 am to 5:30 pm. You can contact them by phone at 336-945-3767 or email at patbodyshop@aol.com. For 24/7 towing service, please call 336-999-3000. If you would like more information visit their website at pats-bodyshop.com.

Pat’s Body Shop

336-945-3767

Collision, Detailing, Interior, Mechanical & Towing Gift Certificates Available October 2019 | 39

The Place to Shop! – Gifts & Paper on Plaza

BY VONDA HENDERSON

Whom do you shop for? Are you already thinking about the holidays? All you have to do is check Facebook to find someone doing a Christmas countdown! No pressure there! So, why not go where the faces are friendly and customer-service really is just that?

Gifts and Paper on Plaza is already planning for the upcoming holidays. As Owner Robyn Goslen shared, “Excitement is in the air!”

What makes Gifts and Paper on Plaza special? Their spin on customer service is unique. For instance: Remember making a wish list as a child? Does your partner or spouse struggle with gift ideas to the point where you have to show him or her what you want? That certainly takes the surprise factor out of the equation. So instead, just suggest a visit to Gifts and Paper on Plaza where your personal wish list is waiting for them. A team member will help you do some pre-shopping to select items you’d enjoy; have fun “wish listing” through the shop. It will still be a surprise since you ultimately don’t know what your spouse may choose! Definitely a win-win – no pressure or stress for your spouse and you still end up with something you know you’ll enjoy.

Personal attention on every visit is the hallmark of the shop.

Asking key questions to help narrow your search for the perfect gift is something the team does beautifully. “We pride ourselves on knowing our customers’ tastes and help plan their shopping experience accordingly,” said Robyn. That’s one of the perks of being a frequent shopper at Gifts and Paper on Plaza.

Everyone has those hard-to-buy-for people that seem to have everything. Shop Gifts and Paper on Plaza for the unique, out-ofthe-ordinary gift that will put a smile on their faces.

What kind of gift ideas can you find there? Gifts and Paper on Plaza has your friends and family gift ideas covered. How about: Inspirational Gifts – The Anne Neilson collection of angel journals, magnets, notepads or Scripture cards. While you are looking through this collection, browse Neilson’s books – Angels in Our Midst and Strokes of Compassion.

40 | ForsythWoman.com

Fall Clothing – Look for the latest from Mer-sea, Mud Pie, Rock Flower Paper and Two’s Company. Accessorize that holiday outfit with a wrap or scarf that just sets it off to perfection.

Candles for your Home – Zodak candles with the Siberian Fir fragrance and Votivo are just a few of the lines the shop carries. “One of the best ways to get into the holiday spirit is with the scent of candles as your front door opens,” said Robyn.

Christmas Cards, Papers, etc. – A time-honored favorite favor are Caspari crackers (with a joke, trinket surprise and hat in each). Check out the latest from Rifle Paper – gift wrapping, table settings and more.

Order your personalized Christmas cards, and pick up your Karen Adams Calendar early to get the best selection.

Tabletop Items – Add a few pieces from the Vietri’s Lastra Holiday or expand your Old St. Nick’s collection. Holiday arrangements and napkins can also help make your table festive.

For the Man in Your Life – How about a trinket tray in leather or waxed canvas?

Add his monogram for a personal touch. Check the selection of bar items or a Holiday Cocktail Recipe Book.

For Children – Gifts and Paper on Plaza has a wide selection of educational, fun activities including puzzles, games and books. And, don’t forget stocking stuffers!

Giving back to the community is important. As Robyn stated, “We’re big on helping other vendors, shopping local and helping each other so that we can all grow. We enjoy donating items for organizations that hold a silent auction fundraising event.”

Visit Gifts and Paper on Plaza – just off Stratford Road at 3301 Healy Drive with hours from Monday through Friday, 9:00 am to 4:00 pm and Saturdays from 10:00 am to 2:00 pm. Contact them at 336.768.9909 or via e-mail (shop2@goslenprinting.com). Don’t want to get out? Shopping their website is secure and user-friendly and open anytime (giftsandpaperonplaza.com).

See what they’re up to on social media (Facebook, Pinterest or Instagram).

Remember, the scenery changes often – stop by soon! They’re also excited to be part of the 2019 Tour de Boutique! Happy Shopping!

Trellis Supportive Care

October 2019 | 41

MEDALONI CELLARS Winery & Events Center “Celebrating F ends & Family”

BY MARTIE EMORY If you find yourself poised to begin planning an important event, and if a picturesque, nature blessed setting is calling your name, consider Medaloni Cellars the perfect answer!

Tucked away on a masterpiece of 22 rolling acres in Lewisville, NC, Medaloni Cellars has been known – since it first opened in 2012 -- for a warm, welcoming atmosphere that’s perfect for a supremely romantic wedding, a laid-back family reunion, and every style of celebration in between.

If your calendar is calling for a milestone celebration such as a birthday, class reunion, bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, and of course, a wedding, all the elements needed for an amazing event are right here. As glorious as you know it is to simply sip a glass of your favorite wine here on an average weekend afternoon, imagine sharing what Medaloni Cellars has to offer with your closest friends and family. After all, Medaloni’s success has been built around relationships and creating wines that please a variety of tastes.

As for memorable events, there are no cookiecutter parties at this beautiful venue. Instead, every event package is custom designed – as custom as their selection of wines – and all include use of the event center and catering room, use of the stunning property for your professional photography, use of your preferred ceremony area, tables and chairs for your event (including set-up and break-down) and a complimentary wine tasting for the bride and groom. For weddings, clients have use of the Bridal Cabin from noon until 10 p.m.

42 | ForsythWoman.com

“An outdoor ceremony with greenery and woods as your backdrop, and a rustic, yet classy barn-style building for the reception just sets the stage for a romantic evening,” says Britny Parks, Events Manager.

For every type of event at Medaloni Cellars, clients can use their favorite vendors (caterer, DJ, photographer, etc.) and bridesto-be are welcome to bring their own event coordinator/wedding planner, or let the Medaloni staff guide their planning with its well-known, meticulous attention to detail.

Besides the amazing setting, a dedicated staff is what sets Medaloni Cellars apart from other venues!

“We try to make the entire process as stressfree as possible!” explains Britny. “I meet with the couple multiple times throughout the planning process, so everyone feels confident that everything – down to the smallest detail – has been thought through. Everyone at Medaloni Cellars wants the bride and groom to enjoy the best day of their lives, and we love being involved in making that happen!”

You may have chosen Medaloni Cellars for the wine – and wisely so! The Medaloni event staff can assist you in putting together an alcohol package based on your budget and guest list. While there are no requirements to purchase a certain amount of wine, the choices couldn’t be more tempting! After sampling the vineyard’s signatures whites and reds, your guests will likely be planning to return for one of their wine tastings!

Another obvious advantage to staging an event here is the versatile setting.

No matter the season, Medaloni Cellars provides perfect possibilities: open-air, or cozy, with the new patio covering, and fire pit, with everything from a traditional seated dinner to having your favorite food truck providing cuisine. If you’re stressing over décor, the property is the very definition of rustic elegance, and you’ll find nature provides most of the “extras” you’ll need (think: saving money on your decorating budget!).

With its prime location in North Carolina’s beautiful Yadkin Valley, Medaloni Cellars feels like a true “destination” – another plus – yet it is located just 10 minutes outside of Winston-Salem, making logistics for your guests an easy transition. If you’re feeling the “back to nature” vibe, your guests can explore walking trails around the property, where a trio of cabins is also available for rental. The staff particularly loves getting to know their wedding couples, and welcoming them back for anniversary celebrations, because that’s what family does!

Celebrate the present with those you love, or the promise of an amazing future together at Medaloni Cellars, located at 9125 Shallowford Road, Lewisville, NC. Reach their event staff and Events Manager, Britny Parks, at 336-946-1490, or visit medalonicellars.com to stay up-to-date on events, wine tastings, and new releases!

What’s In My Dog’s Food?

PHOTO BY ANNETTE JOYCE

BY PHIL RAY

Pet food manufacturers are realizing that educated consumers are demanding better ingredients in dog and cat food, and want to see meat as one of the first ingredients. Unfortunately, just having “meat” as the first ingredient is not enough. It’s the right combination of meats and meat meals that are beneficial, so don’t be fooled by this label deception.

WHERE’S THE MEAT?

Great question. Finding the right food for your pet that contains valuable and healthy ingredients can be challenging.

What we feed our pets contributes to their health, longevity, energy level and overall behavior. Who doesn’t want a well-behaved and healthy dog? However, finding the right food can be a frustrating lesson in patience when we are constantly bombarded by television and magazine ads, ill-advised clerk recommendations and limited time to research what’s good for our pets. Thankfully, there are guidelines for food manufacturers. According to the Association of American Feed Control Officials (AAFCO), all ingredients must be listed in order of predominance by weight.

Simply stated, the heaviest items come first. Therefore, it’s imperative that we understand what the first-listed ingredients are and how they relate to the quality of the food.

So, what do we look for? When evaluating any dog food, you’re always looking for a high-quality, digestible, meat-based protein (as close to the top of the list, as possible). However, in our opinion, it should be first. Even better if the protein source is either free-range or pastureraised, one that hasn’t been shot full of hormones or antibiotics.

Secondly, a whole food protein source is essential at the top of the list of ingredients. Look for single-named meat sources, for example; beef, turkey, lamb, chicken, etc. Avoid products with descriptions that are non-specific, like “animal,” “meat” or “poultry.” You’ll also find many commercial foods that contain the meat meals. These are acceptable as secondary ingredients when paired with the primary meat protein source. And, always make sure the meal is labeled with a specific meat source.

HOW DO I CHOOSE?

Start with identifying your dog’s needs and reviewing his or her current nutrition program. Do you have a rambunctious puppy, a working dog, a middleaged couch potato or a sweet senior? All of these dogs have varying nutritional needs.

Puppies and working dogs need a higher level of protein, fat and carbohydrates.

Adults and seniors have different needs as well and can benefit from added supplements for their aging bodies.

Once you have identified your dog’s needs based on age and activity level, it’s time to pick a food! But, how will you know they like it?

Trying different flavors and brands can be intimidating, especially if you have a picky puppy.

Best 4K9 would like you to visit one of our three locations and take the Plate Test Challenge.

Choosing a new food that your dog will love is a breeze using our tried and true method.

Come see us soon for a complete nutritional evaluation, and let’s get started eating healthy!

It’s time to rethink your pet food Best 4 K9

We offer a large selection of Toys & Treats • Supplements Coat Care • Collars & Leashes Canned & Bagged Foods Large Cat Items Section

www.best4k9.com WINSTON-SALEM 3382 Robinhood Road (336) 829-5993

OAK RIDGE 2205 Oak Ridge Road (336) 298-7781

GREENSBORO 5820 N. Church Street (336) 441-84337

*premium grooming by appointment at Robinhood Road location

October 2019 | 43

WINSTON-SALEM: Now Accepting Most Major Insurance

BY JULIE FRITZ

We all want to lose a few pounds...right? But when weight becomes a serious issue in your life and affects your health, it is time to get serious. Thankfully, insurance companies are starting to look at weight loss as a preventative way to help the people they insure live a healthier lifestyle and keep them from having greater health issues as a side effect. Insurance companies have taken notice of the types of weight loss plans that really work and are starting to help cover some of their costs. Medi-Weightloss® in Winston-Salem, also known as “The One That Works!®”, is a physician supervised weight loss program that is helping people learn to live a healthier lifestyle and is now accepting most major insurance carriers.* Owner Frank Kelly was looking for a way to help people in this community. He saw that the obesity epidemic was growing and he felt there had to be a way to help people lose weight and keep it off. “I was drawn to this brand because of the effectiveness of the program. I knew that by opening a Medi-Weightloss® in Winston-Salem, I would be able to provide a program to people in my community that would change their lives and teach them how to be healthy again.”

Medi-Weightloss® works because they have a program designed for the individual needs of each patient. The physician supervised programs are based on one-onone weekly visits that keep the patient on track by providing nutrition education, appetite management, and fitness tips. They also offer programs tailored to fit the needs of diabetic and adolescent patients. For patients who want the guesswork taken out of their meal planning, they offer Medi-Weightloss Signature Menus® which provides a structured solution designed to simplify meal planning and weight loss. Your weight loss menu will include delicious ready-to-eat options that can be purchased in the office. They even offer a lifestyle magazine to help people achieve their goals and maintain long term success.

Since 2005, Medi-Weightloss® has helped patients nationwide lose over 6 million pounds. But it is not just about losing weight – patients have also seen improvement in many areas of their health. Industry sponsored research shows that as patients lose weight, they see improvements in cholesterol, blood pressure, and glucose levels. The research also reveals that patients on the program are losing fat, and not muscle, as they lose weight.

The best way to see how Medi-Weightloss® works is to see how it has changed someone’s life. Catherine Shelly Taylor loves to share her experience with MediWeightloss®. “My experience at Medi-Weightloss® has changed every aspect of my life. I naturally applied the discipline I learned at Medi-Weightloss® to other areas of my life and have seen big payouts there, too! I’ve gotten a promotion at work and am even getting my pilot’s license! The support and encouragement that I received from the Medi-Weightloss® staff was one of the most critical components to my success, and a 58 pound weight loss makes me feel VERY SUCCESSFUL.I went from a size 14 to a size 4 and feel like a new person. A friend put it best when she said, “the sparkle is back in your eyes.” I did NOT learn how to diet at Medi-Weightloss® I learned how to LIVE (a healthy lifestyle).”

If you want more information about how Medi-Weightloss ® in Winston-Salem can help you change your life, contact them today. They are located at 3878 Oxford Station Way in Winston-Salem. You can also call their office at (336) 306-5900 or visit their website at mediweightloss.com/locations/winston-salem/. *Not all providers are in-network with all carriers. Not all services and products are covered.

Contact your carrier for details.

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Medi-Weightloss

October 2019 | 45

family services women’s shelter

NOT ALL DOMESTIC “You can do this. You made the choice to be free. You are free. We want you to be inspired to live your life fearlessly and to live every day with confidence, joy, and well-being. I did.

Now I have dedicated my company, Solarté Collections, LLC to inspire you to do the same.

Almost immediately, they moved from their familiar Floridian surroundings to Tennessee and she said she noticed signs of trouble virtually right away. But at the time, she just thought he was young and that she could fix it all.

With my best wishes, Angela Hackett Jenkins

Angela landed a good job in banking—she advanced quickly and was getting quite a bit of recognition as an up-and-comer. But her success was not resonating well at home.

Every time someone makes an order on her website, Angela sends a note just like the one above to a Safe House, like the Family Services Women’s Shelter, along with a box gift set of shampoos, conditioners, shower creams and body lotions.

She said it’s her mission because she knows firsthand what it takes to triumph over fear and feel free.

Angela Hackett Jenkins, right, sits with business partner Christine Schmid during a recent Solarté photo shoot. The two have known each other since they were 13 years old.

Today, nearly two decades later, it’s easy to see that the red flags were there all along. But for Angela, they didn’t really come into focus until the handgun was placed on her dining room table for her to see when she returned home for work.

“He made a point to tell me it was unregistered, and that he bought it from a guy who had recently been in prison and was on work-release,” Angela recalled. “That was when I knew my time with him was limited.”

It wasn’t always that way.

She grew up in the same neighborhood as her ex-husband. They attended the same high school in Florida. They began dating in 1995 right out of college, because and it appeared he had the entire package—charm, a great family, and Angela said she fell in love.

If you are the victim of domestic violence we are here for you—day and night—to help you deal with your situation and your emotions. Whether you were a victim minutes ago, days ago or years ago, Family Services is here to help you gain peace of mind by providing empathy and emotional support through our services, provided by caring and professional staff.

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“I don’t know. I guess he saw my success as a threat,” she said. “I would come home and he’d be rage-filled for no reason. He’d say things to me like ‘no one is going to want you,’ or ‘you’re too ugly or fat, or you’re not smart enough to be promoted to the next level.’”

When she tried to win him over with a nice dinner, he’d come home late and throw it in the trash. He kept her from having real friends, and when she committed the cardinal sin of not using Carpet Fresh—he’d make her sit and watch as he violently threw the contents onto the floor and demonstrated how to properly vacuum a rug.

“He never physically abused me,” Angela said.

“He just tormented me, day in and day out.

He made my life a living nightmare.”

She has countless stories of mental abuse and embarrassment—how he would keep them moving to new places to keep her from really getting too close to anyone. How he would punch holes through walls when she didn’t cook something right or clean the way he thought it should be cleaned.

One time, while on a business trip to New York together, Angela was waiting on her husband

Family Services www.familyservicesforsyth.org 24-Hour Crisis Lines Domestic Violence: 336.723.8125 Sexual Assault: 336.722.4457

supporter knows that

ABUSE IS PHYSICAL at the bar downstairs and another man struck up a conversation with her.

“When he saw the guy talking with me, he grabbed me sternly in front of everyone then said, Are you gonna spread your legs for this guy?’ He would completely humiliate me in front of people just to shut me down.”

When this happened, Angela’s reaction was to wonder what was wrong with her. Why she couldn’t make him happy and what she could do better next time.

A short time before she came home to a gun on her dining table, a neighbor in Waco, Texas warned her of what the problem might actually be.

“We were just talking one day and she said, ‘do you throw a lot of parties?’” Angela recalled.

As it turns out, the neighbor said she was a recovering alcoholic herself and she knew the signs. She had witnessed Angela’s husband discarding large liquor bottles a little too often.

The neighbor told Angela that she should go through the house and look for hidden bottles, and other signs like water bottles filled with vodka.

“I did what she said, and I remember I just sat on the floor and sobbed,” she said.

The alcohol abuse, a discovery of drug abuse, and the unregistered gun on her dining room table was too much. Angela sought the counsel of her pastor—who told her that she needed to get out.

• Shelter for victims and children • Court and hospital advocacy • Counseling and support groups • 911 cell phones • Safety Planning and specialized assessments, including danger assessments • Address confidentiality application:

So she waited until her husband was away on business and she called her father sobbing and asked him to come get her.

She had lost so much weight, her father walked right past her at the airport.

Today, as the founder of Solarté Collections, Angela is concentrating on growing her business while focusing on her mission to empower women. Her dedication to the cause is the most prominent thing on her website, SolarteCollections.com.

“We aim high in our efforts to empower all women to live their lives boldly, confidently, and without fear. We are especially committed to women who are working to overcome adverse relationships and life circumstances. To do so, we provide products and financial support to safe houses for women all over the country.”

But she’s also in a dedicated and caring marriage to a man who cherishes her, respects her, and supports her ambition. She said she hasn’t been able to write the big checks she wants to, to support the Family Services Women’s Shelter and other programs, but she hopes to.

“No company hits it big overnight,” she said. “But we’re getting there. I love my brand, and I love sharing that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

My ex-husband wanted me to stay down. But I couldn’t stay a victim. I’m a fighter and I found my way back.”

For information about how you can help support Domestic Violence Programs in Forsyth County, visit RISEforsyth.org.

If you or someone you love is in crisis, Family Services is here to help. Call 336.723.8125 for help 24/7.

• Referrals for medical, legal, housing, employment, financial or educational needs • Assistance with protective orders at Safe on Seven • Counseling and support groups • Safe Haven Pet Foster Care • Trauma-informed behavioral services for child victims and witnesses

October 2019 | 47

On October 18th, Leadercast Women Lewisville-Clemmons, will host a live simulcast event, an Atlanta-based day of learning that boasts names like Kendra Scott, founder, CEO and designer of jewelry brand Kendra Scott; Captain Deshauna Barber, a logistics commander in the US Army Reserve and Miss USA 2016; Glennon Doyle, New York Times best-selling author of Love Warrior and Carry On, Warrior; Luvvie Ajayi, award-winning author, speaker and digital strategist; and Priya Parker, master facilitator, strategic advisor, and acclaimed author of The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why it Matters. Those are only a few of the powerhouse women speaking throughout the day - add Hollywood’s Body Language Expert, Triad local Blanca Cobb, who is serving as the local emcee and special guest speaker, and you have an unstoppable lineup.

LE O

In this case, that roof is WinMock at Kinderton in Bermuda Run and that purpose is learning about courageous leadership from nine worldrenowned experts and local influencers from North Carolina at Leadercast Women Lewisville-Clemmons, presented by the Lewisville-Clemmons Chamber of Commerce.

N W O BR

GE RA en KE U Wom TA O st

N JE

C ca er

BY

ad Le

I don’t know about you, but I love being around groups of women. There is something magical when motivated women get together for a common cause: the energy in the room, the conversations that just make you want to take action, and the incredible support network. I still remember a women’s conference I went to a few years ago, and I still lean on those women when I need support in my work and home life. The quote “Never underestimate the power of a woman” goes tenfold when you get an organized group of women together under the same roof.

N

K ZA IC

“I’m so excited that we’re bringing this powerful leadership event to women in our area who are making a difference every single day in their homes, on the job, and in the community,” says Ditra Miller, Executive Director of the Lewisville-Clemmons Chamber of Commerce. “This day is designed especially for them to unwind, recharge, and connect with likeminded women.”

Centered around the theme of courage, the goal of daring leadership in workplaces and home lives hit a timely moment in history. While men still greatly outnumber women in leadership, women are digging in and taking their space in the realm of leadership. According to a recent Skillsoft survey, nearly 70% of the female participants felt their employers did not provide adequate resources and professional development opportunities to support their careers.

“The theme of courage, feeling the fear and doing it anyway, is what many women feel, but don’t want to admit. Having a panel of speakers who’ve succeeded in their respective careers in spite of their fears gives hope, strength, and strategies to other women to seize opportunities,” said Blanca Cobb. “So much power and courage will radiate at this event from all women in the room.”

Aside from being a full day of development, complete with actionable tools, networking, and inspiration, here’s where Leadercast excels: it’s right here in the Triad.

Along with Blanca Cobb, local roundtable facilitators include Michelle Spell, owner of Ava’s Cupcakes (and winner of Season 4 of Food Network’s Cupcake Wars!), Kim Thore, CMO of the United Way of Forsyth County, Yolanda Bynum, Consultant with Beyond Expectations Consulting and Brooke Eagle, Publisher of Forsyth Women Engaged magazine, among others.

“I’m always excited about events that include growth, leadership, and women, and this amazing event is focused on ALL THREE!” says Eagle.

“Attendees can expect great content, discussion, networking, and more, with over 100 like-minded women.”

Registration includes admission, breakfast, lunch and snacks, a conference journal, swag bag, free parking, as well as the day of speakers and roundtable discussions.

Leadercast Women Lewisville-Clemmons is October 18th, 8am-4pm. To register and for more information, visit leadercast.lewisville-clemmons.com and readers can save $10 when they use code: FWMagazine. Contact events@lewisville-clemmons.com or call 336-970-5100 for group rates and sponsorship opportunities.

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Leadercast Women

October 2019 | 49

PHOTO BY JEJ PHOTOGRAPHY

OUTPATIENT IMAGING One in Eight – Breast Cancer Awareness Month

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October is the month that has been designated Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Why do we need a whole month to raise awareness you may ask? Because one in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime. It is a frightening statistic; 12% of women will develop invasive breast cancer in her lifetime.

However, what you may not be aware of is there is one thing women can do which has been repeatedly proven to decrease their risk of dying of breast cancer: get screening mammograms once a year starting at the age of 40.

The incidence of death from breast cancer has steadily declined since the 1990s. A large part of this decline is due to the increased early detection of breast cancer as a result of widespread screening mammography programs in the US. Screening mammograms (a noninvasive x-ray of the breast) allow radiologists to detect breast cancer before it is large enough to feel, and while the chance for a cure is highest. Unfortunately, conflicting society recommendations have resulted in confusion as to when to begin and how often to screen for breast cancer. In 2009, the US Preventative Task Force (USPTF) recommended women delay screening mammograms until the age of 50. This recommendation has not been supported by the American Cancer Society or the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology,

and furthermore, the American College of Radiology, Society of Breast Imaging and the American Society of Breast Surgeons all agree that screening at 40 years old will save the most lives. The USPTF recommendations sited the “harms” of mammography, including the stress of being called back and the potential to have a biopsy for something that is not cancer. They overlook the fact that mammography is a “good news” exam for about 90% of women! They also don’t take into account that the incidence of breast cancer in black, Hispanic, and Asian women peaks in their 40s. Women in their 40s account for 1/6 new breast cancer diagnoses. The USPTF also acknowledges that if women followed these screening recommendations, an additional 6,500 women would die of their breast cancer each year.

It is important to note these statistics and recommendations apply to women of average risk for developing breast cancer. In other words, women with no family history of breast cancer should start screening at the age of 40. Seventy-five percent of women diagnosed with breast cancer in their 40s have no family history. A new emphasis is being placed on women with a family history of breast cancer to speak with their doctors, because some patients with a family history or other risk factors may need to undergo screening sooner than age 40.

October 2019 | 51

Why mammography? Isn’t there something better?

Mammography has been extensively studied over the years and has been proven, over and over, to unequivocally decrease your risk of dying from breast cancer. Studies in Canada and Sweden show similar outcomes with 3040% fewer deaths in groups of women getting screening mammography versus those who do not. Ultrasound and MRI are useful to further evaluate areas in the breast, but cannot perform as well as a mammogram in consistently detecting early breast cancer.

Crystal Murden-Pittman, a breast cancer survivor, shared, “I’ve had regular screening mammograms for years. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2018 during my regular screening mammogram. On Monday, July 16, 2018, I had a biopsy and received the diagnosis that no woman wants to hear. My surgery was scheduled for the first week of August that same year. This diagnosis and journey has been the most difficult of my life. However, with support from my husband, Tim, and children, Christina, Christal, Tahtiana, and Dennis, and my extended family, as well as Dr. Marissa McNatt, my surgeon, I am embracing life and moving forward. I’m excited for the future. I encourage all women to take the time to get regular breast exams; mine was caught early as a result of a mammogram. Screening mammograms are key.”

Join us on Tuesday, October 8, from 5-7pm at Medaloni Cellars (9125 Shallowford Road, Lewisville) for our annual Rosé @ Medaloni Cellars event as we celebrate women’s health with a fun evening of wine, food, and fashion! In addition, you’ll learn about the importance of mammography and early detection of breast cancer. The $10 admission fee includes a souvenir glass and first drink. Funds raised provide FREE Mammograms for women in need. Have fun at the silent auction and fashion show, feast at the food truck, enjoy live music, and more! A special thank you goes to the event sponsors -- Forsyth Woman Magazine, Restoration MedSpa, Medaloni Cellars,WFBH FAcial Plastic Surgery, and Style Encore.

Mark your calendar, don’t miss the fun!

Here at Wake Forest Baptist Health, there are several locations where you can schedule a 3D screening mammogram. These locations include WFBH Outpatient Imaging on Executive Park Blvd, WFBH Clemmons Medical Center, and WFBH Cancer Center.

Early detection saves lives so do yourself and your loved ones a favor and call for your appointment today, schedule it online at www.wakehealth.edu/ imaging or text PINK to 484848

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WFBH Outpatient Imaging

October 2019 | 53

Protecting Your Pets After You’re Gone How to Create a Trust for Your Pet

BY CAROLYN S. PETERSON

The thought of life without our pets is tough enough to contemplate. We get, if lucky, ten years on average with our dogs or cats, and those years go by quickly.

But what happens if our pets outlive us?

regular vet care, invest in the best food, and treats possible and generally spoil them every day, they are part of your life. But we rarely think our pets will outlive us.

PREPARING FOR THE UNKNOWN

HAVE AN EMERGENCY PLAN IN PLACE

If you left home one morning for a day at work and on your way home were in a car accident that claimed your life, what would happen to your dog or cat awaiting your return? Would anyone know to check on them? How long would they be alone before someone would remember to care for them? And beyond that, what would happen to your pet after your death?

If you don’t have a plan, you aren’t alone. Sadly, when pet owners don’t make arrangements to care for their four-legged companions, when and if something happens to them, it is the pets who pay the price. The ASPCA estimates that every year, approximately 500,000 dogs and cats enter shelters when their owners experience an emergency or pass away. Those numbers are staggering when added to the already unclaimed and abandoned animals already in shelters.

Maybe your pet will be adopted, but not every dog or cat is that fortunate.

Unfortunately, without a proper plan in place for the future care of your pets, they are at risk of ending up in a shelter where they could be euth`anized. If you are a good pet parent, you provide

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The best place to start with your pets’ care in case of an emergency is to have someone lined up as a temporary caregiver. Should you be incapacitated or no longer here, have someone who knows in advance to make checking on your pet a priority. Maybe a neighbor could step in for a specified time to feed and watch your pet. The best way to assure your pet is cared for is to have a formal arrangement in a will, a pet trust, and money set aside for your pets’ care and someone to get the money for their care into the caregiver’s hands. Pets are expensive, so setting aside money to include possible vet care, grooming, medicines, food, treats, boarding, and toys are things to think about when preparing the trust.

Also, realize that you can have more than one person who will be responsible for your pets. It’s best to always have a backup plan to make sure the initial caregiver is still ready and able to care for your pets. You can also have someone appointed to direct the funds to the caregiver; this can be an attorney or a trusted friend. Along with planning for the financial side of your pets’ care, it

is also a good idea to have important information for each pet explained in a summary. In this document, it is good to include your pet(s)’ habits, preference for food and treats, any special dietary needs, medical conditions, medications taken, vet records, including vaccinations and how your pets behave around other people and animals, in the event they need to be fostered or adopted. Your pets will not understand why you never returned and so keeping their schedules and environment as much like it was when you loved and cared for them is very important. The ASPCA recommends making a list of daily activities of your pets, down to where they prefer to sleep.

It is reassuring to your pet in this time of confusion to place items of your clothing with the pet so they can have your smell to settle them.

The ASPCA offers pet owners a Pet Alert Card to keep in your wallet, which will alert first responders that you have a pet at home. Make sure to list two emergency contact numbers for authorities to notify.

An emergency alert sticker is also good to place on a door or window to let people know there are pets inside your house, not only in case of your death, but if there is a fire.

We don’t like to think about our own death, but imagine being your pet and not knowing what happened. Have a plan in place to make sure they are cared for and loved in the event your separation comes sooner than you think.

Family Services

October 2019 | 55

Kingery & Kingery Sleep Apnea & How to Treat It

BY CAROLYN S PETERSON

Sleep is an important and fundamental part of our life.

It’s estimated that we spend between 25%-35% of our lives sleeping. When we are asleep, our brains and bodies have time to rest and recover from the stress of daily life.

The lack of sleep associated with Obstructive Sleep Apnea (OSA) can not only leave you tired, but can lead to health concerns, as well.

OSA occurs when breathing repeatedly stops and starts as you sleep. Although sleep apnea is treatable, it often goes undiagnosed; it is believed that one in 15 people in the United States is dealing with some form of sleep apnea. Learning how to identify the warning signs of sleep apnea and how to treat it is where Drs. Kingery & Kingery can help you get a peaceful night’s sleep.

SLEEP APNEA – WHEN SHOULD YOU BE CONCERNED?

Dr. Mary Kingery is a certified sleep dentist, treating patients for sleep apnea.

“There are two types of sleep apnea: Obstructive Sleep Apnea (OSA), which is the more common form that occurs when throat muscles relax, and Central Sleep Apnea (CSA), that happens when your brain doesn’t send proper signals to the muscles that control breathing. These pauses in breathing typically last 10-20 seconds and can occur up to hundreds of times a night, jolting you out of a natural sleep that you need to live a healthy life – mentally alert and productive the next day,” said Dr. Kingery. Left untreated, this type of chronic sleep deprivation results in daytime sleepiness, fatigue, insomnia, poor concentration and slower reflexes. Sleep apnea has also been linked to serious health issues over time like diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, increased stroke risk, weight gain and depression/ irritability. The good news is once diagnosed, with the correct treatment, you can control the symptoms and get your sleep back on track.

IS IT JUST SNORING?

“At Kingery & Kingery, we do routine screenings of our patients, asking them if they snore, are tired, have trouble sleeping or if their sleep partner has noticed any changes in their sleep,” said Dr. Kingery. “Should we be concerned about a possible sleep apnea issue, we refer them to a specialist for an evaluation. A family history and symptoms would be discussed with the patient and perhaps followed by a home sleep study. Depending upon the results, a PSG (polysomnogram) might be performed to study the brain activity, eye movements, heart rate and blood pressure.

A PSG also records the amount of oxygen in the blood, air movement through the nose while breathing, snoring and chest movements, showing whether an effort is being made to breathe.

CPAP therapy is considered the “Gold Standard” for sleep apnea treatment. Continuous Positive Airway Pressure, CPAP, is a machine that delivers air pressure to keep the airway open. If a patient cannot tolerate CPAP and/ or is not compliant in using it, that is where we come in, offering an alternative that is FDA approved to treat mild to moderate sleep apnea. If a patient is referred to us who is CPAP intolerant, we set up an appointment for a complete evaluation to see if the appliance that we would fabricate would be an alternative to CPAP therapy.”

Dr. Mary and the team at Kingery & Kingery work closely with medical doctors and specialists in the area in treating patients with sleep apnea. “There are some lifestyle changes that can help with sleep apnea. Sometimes changes in diet and exercise can alleviate some of the symptoms of sleep apnea or relieve them entirely. But, once diagnosed, monitoring is important to be sure that the condition is managed,” said Dr. Kingery.

“Should a CPAP alternative be needed, I take impressions of the patient’s mouth and an appliance is fashioned in the SomnoDent® laboratory, which when used by the patient, will hold the jaw in the proper position during sleep.

SomnoDent® has been credited with eliminating both snoring and obstructive sleep apnea in many cases. Restorative sleep is so important to overall health, and we can help you get the good night’s sleep you’ve been missing.”

Kingery & Kingery is located at 2554 Lewisville-Clemmons Road in Clemmons. For more information on sleep apnea, visit www.kingerysmiles.com or call 336.766.0511.

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Vista Realty

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October 2019 | 57

Making Dollars, Making $ense

October is National Financial Planning Month Securities offered through LPL Financial. Member FINRA/SIPC. Investment advice offered through Marzano Capital Group, a registered investment advisor and separate entity from LPL Financial.

BY AL SEYMOUR, CHFC®, CLU®, CRPC®, CASL®, AEP®, CAP® WEALTH MANAGER October is National Financial Planning month, so let’s focus on what financial planning actually involves. It’s not just about investment or insurance products; it’s also about the feelings behind your wishes and desires. Let’s call it a plan of action that is flexible enough to handle the twists and turns of your life. This “plan of action” is tailored to each specific person, but often includes the following important items:

ESTABLISHING GOALS

Knowing what your priorities are and identifying how much you will need to fund each goal is significant for financial planning.

It doesn’t matter whether it’s for education, a home, retirement estate, vacation, or anything else, you must plan carefully for each. You will need to consider the effects of taxes and inflation as well.

CREATING A BUDGET

The first step for any financial plan is creating a budget. In essence, this is how much money comes in and how much goes out, or as most of us know it, income versus expenses.

Budgeting is important in determining where you will get money to fund your various financial goals. Your net worth, calculated by assets minus liabilities, is also measured to track the progress you are making toward your objectives.

INSURING YOUR FUTURE

Determining whether you have sufficient disability, life, or longterm care insurance is important and often overlooked for several reasons. For instance, some people just don’t like insurance in general while others object to the cost. Think of it this way: if you don’t have sufficient coverage then you may have to spend down assets saved for other goals, such as your child’s education or your retirement.

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ANALYZING YOUR TAX SITUATION

Do not pay the IRS more than is necessary; your goal should not be to see how much of a refund you can get, but focused instead on balancing the amount you pay so as to use your money to fund your goals on a monthly basis. Your accountant or CPA should be able to assist you in determining the appropriate amount needed for withholding or estimated tax payments. You could also help manage the amount of taxes you pay on growth of investments by using your company’s qualified plan, your IRA, Roth IRA, annuity, and even life insurance. Understanding how each works is essential.

PLANNING FOR RETIREMENT

This is perhaps the greatest long-term goal most people have. Few companies still offer pensions, so taking full advantage of your employer’s retirement benefits (401(k)/403(b)/ SIMPLE IRA…etc.) is extremely important. Knowing what these benefits are and putting together a strategy to maximize your retirement savings in accordance with your budget is of equal importance. The managing of your retirement dollars will determine how much income you will have throughout your retirement years.

ESTATE PLANNING

Understanding how assets pass at your death can be crucial to ensuring that your estate is dispersed per your wishes and not determined by the court system. There are many intricacies of estate planning, but a comprehensive set of estate planning documents should include a Last Will and Testament, Financial Powers of Attorney, Advanced Health Care Directives, and possibly a Revocable Trust.

Comprehensive financial planning can provide you with a clear plan of action. Our clients find that it is easier to understand how all the pieces of the puzzle come together to create financial confidence. At Marzano Capital Group we call it the “Pursuit of Peaceful Prosperity.”

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October 2019 | 59

United Way of Forsyth County – Going Far Together

BY ADELE CASANOVA in giving. They could witness more closely the success of funded projects.

Most everyone in our community has heard of the United Way of Forsyth County. Many have donated through their fundraising campaigns, and many have benefited from those resources. But, do most of us really understand how the United Way actually works to achieve successful problem-solving in our community?

The United Way of Forsyth County has roots back to 1923 when it was known as The Community Chest, raising funds to allocate to local welfare organizations. Renamed the United Way of Forsyth County in 1974, the organization continued to build a history of successful fundraising, largely through payroll donations. Raised funds were then allocated to other community organizations that were addressing various challenges and needs in the community. In the 2000s, the United Way of Forsyth County began evolving into a new model of collaboration with partner organizations to solve problems. In part, this evolution was spurred on by new technology-driven ways for people to donate, and the expectations of donors.

Philanthropists were once thought of as people in later life sharing their financial success in large donations. But, with digital technology, social media and bank drafting options, anyone can become a philanthropist at any stage of life, giving in any amount, large or small, continually. Social media and internet technology opened the door for donors to have far more choices

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President and CEO of the United Way of Forsyth County Cindy Gordineer talked about this evolution in fundraising and its relevance to successful outcomes in 2011 when she was interviewed for her current role. Cindy came from upstate New York, where she had a successful career with the Red Cross. She had seen organizations like the United Way in many communities struggling with their fundraising and allocation processes. She brought the perspective of collaborative problem solving with her. “More than ever, we need to embrace our mission statement,” said Cindy. It reads, “United Way of Forsyth County brings the community and its resources together to solve problems that no one organization can address alone.”

What does that collaboration of resources look like? The United Way works with many partner organizations to address community challenges. The four main areas of concern are health, education, economic mobility and stabilization of those in immediate need. When a challenge is addressed, such as increasing the graduation rate of high school students, for example, the United Way works with a number of community organizations to address the challenge from multiple directions. There are many facets to the problem of low graduation rates, such as after school needs, absenteeism, family needs, lack of transportation, financial pressures, etc. Do at-risk students need to care for younger siblings or older family members?

Do they need transportation or tutoring?

Do they need an attendance coach? Various

community organizations and support agencies can address these issues using their knowledge of the community and resources from United Way. The student’s challenges are seen holistically, many parts affecting the whole, and those parts are addressed specifically to lead to successful graduation results. It is like seeing the many pieces to a puzzle and knowing that some pieces must be placed before others will fit into the whole.

By approaching the challenge of low graduation rates in the county using this collaborative approach, the United Way and its partners have been able to increase high school graduation rates from 70% in 2007 to 86.5% in 2017. Additionally, by collaborating with partner agencies and community groups, the United Way has significantly reduced chronic homelessness and improved at-risk neighborhoods through their “Place Matters” initiative, recognizing that each person’s predictors for success in life are squarely rooted in the quality of their environment.

Many hard challenges don’t have one single fix but contain many sub-challenges that need to be addressed in order to affect a positive solution. One of Cindy Gordineer’s favorite quotes is an African proverb that says, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”

By adopting the course of collaboration of resources and ideas to solve a problem, piece by piece, takes commitment of time and communication to share ideas and identify resources. It comes with a learning curve, but once learned, solutions can be achieved more quickly and with fewer funds. The process also allows for more in-depth measuring of success and increased accountability.

To learn more about the United Way of Forsyth County and discover how you can become involved through donation of funds and resources, visit their website at ForsythUnitedway.org. You can also follow them on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. They are located in Winston-Salem in the Winston Towers building at 301 North Main Street, Suite 1700 and can be reached at 336.723.3601.

United Way

October 2019 | 61

PHY L PHOTOGRA TRACY KREL

“Sweet Dreams... Are Made of This”

“As the day turns into night…keep your worries out of sight…No matter how hard the world may seem…you still deserve the sweetest dream!!!” ~ Anonymous Usually when I’m called to do an Interior Redesign or Decorating Project, it’s for a family room or great room. Bedrooms often seem to be the last room on the list to redecorate. Why is that?

A third of our lives are spent in our bedrooms, so shouldn’t we make them beautiful and functional?

Remember, your bedroom should be your sanctuary….it’s not an office, a media room, or an exercise room. It is a place to nurture your soul and give rest to the body.

Sweet dreams can be made from these ideas: -Consider the psychology of color when choosing the shades to use in your bedroom: hues of blue, green or lavender are considered calm and serene while deeper jewel-tone hues will set the mood for comfort and coziness.

-Do you prefer all-white bedding on your bed?

To avoid a boring look, use a contrasting wall color such as a deep cream, a pale blue or a warm gray. Add a little color in the accessories.

-Keep it simple. Furnish your bedroom with only the furniture you need: a bed, a bedside table or two, a dresser, a chest of drawers,

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and a chair or bench (at the foot of the bed).

Too much furniture doesn’t allow for ease of movement and will make the room confining.

-Select and hang a beautiful piece of art. Add a few family photos, candles, flowers, a few good books and perhaps a clock on the bedside tables. Keep accessories to a minimum.

-Relocate or sell that unused piece of exercise equipment in the corner of your bedroom.

That treadmill was not meant to be used as a clothes rack.

-Add lighting to your bedroom. Place lamps (suitable for reading) at your bedside (26” to 28” tall) and 1 or 2 on your dresser for accent lighting. Mirrors are a great source of light if hung where they will reflect light from a window.

-Use beautiful pillow shams with 3, 4, or 5 decorative pillows. Add more than that and you will soon tire of removing them each night.

-Dress your windows. The fabric will add color, pattern, texture, and softness to your room, plus added privacy and light control.

-Indulge in luxurious linens. You want the third of your life that you spend in bed to be

a pleasant experience. Your linens are the last thing you feel before you go to sleep and the first you are aware of when you awake.

Dedicate your bedroom to reading, sleeping, and romance. Sweet dreams!

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Do You Worry About Crime?

10 Tips for Staying Safe

BY DEBBIE BARR

If you watch the nightly news, you can’t help but be aware of crime, not just in our city, but all across the nation as well. Have so many news reports about crime made you a bit more fearful than you used to be?

If so, according to a University of Michigan study, that’s actually a good thing. It turns out that a healthy fear of crime may actually help protect you from becoming a victim. When you are well-informed about where and when crime is likely to occur, you are better able to make smart choices that will help keep you safe. So don’t let your fear of crime stop you from enjoying life—instead, put it to work for you!

Teach these ten practical tips for staying safe to your children and the older adults in your life:

STAYING SAFE AT HOME

1. Always look through a window or a door peephole before opening the door.

If the person you see is a stranger, remember that would-be thieves often knock or ring the bell to see if anyone is home before they decide to break in. That’s one reason experts say you should not ignore the person. Instead, follow these safety tips: • Even if you are home alone, call out, “Can somebody please get the door?” or “I’ll get it!”

• Without opening the door, ask the person to identify him/herself.

If they say they are there to do maintenance or take a survey, ask them for a telephone number you can call to verify their identity.

• Do not answer personal questions such as, “What time does your mom get home from work?”

• If the person says they have run out of gas, or have a medical emergency, offer to call the police for them, but don’t risk your safety by opening the door.

2. Keep all doors and windows locked at all times. Try the locks to make sure they are strong and not easily broken. If they need to be replaced with sturdier locks, be sure to do that.

3. Don’t make it easy for a burglar to see what’s inside your home at night when the lights are on. Close your blinds or curtains in the evening.

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BE STREET SMART!

4. Keep your car doors locked at all times and don’t lower your car window or open your car door to speak to a stranger.

5. Walk outside with a friend, and avoid dark streets or parking lots. Always walk and park in well-lit areas.

6. Ladies, carry your purse with the strap over your shoulder and across your body.

Men, put your wallet, cash, and credit cards in an inside pocket.

7. Never resist a robber. If you are confronted, hand over anything the robber demands.

ONLINE SAFETY

8. Phishing is the fraudulent practice of sending emails disguised to look like they come from reputable companies. The goal of every “phishing expedition” is to trick you into revealing personal information, such as your passwords or credit card numbers. Delete any email that: • Threatens to shut down your account • Requests private information such as a password or your Social Security number • Uses words such as “Urgent!”

• Is poorly written and/or does not use proper English grammar. Legitimate companies send properly edited, wellcomposed email messages.

• Uses a forged email address. For example, if you get an email that appears to be from Bank of America, hover your mouse over the email address of the sender. If you see something like “customerservice@ nowhere.com,” the email is almost certainly fake.

9. Spam is electronic junk mail. Never click an “Unsubscribe” link in a spam email.

Doing so just lets the spammer know your email address is legitimate, which could result in even more spam.

10. Change your passwords often and don’t use easy-to-guess passwords like “mypassword.” Experts recommend using different passwords for each of your accounts. This is for your protection. If you use the same password for both your bank account and your email account, for example, you make your information more vulnerable. The strongest passwords contain six or more characters and include a combination of upper and lower case letters, numbers, and symbols such as #, $, and @.

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October 2019 | 65

Learn to Be

Charismatic

Think of the last time you went to a show or saw a movie and you just couldn’t take your eyes off of the actor. It wasn’t because they were doing strange or weird things, and if you were asked exactly what made them so irresistible to watch, you might not be able to put your finger on it.

Have you felt that way watching a public speaker, or maybe someone in a meeting? That magic that happens when someone can hold the audience’s attention without fail is impressive: it’s also often charisma, and research shows it can be learned.

Sure, you’ll have to develop confidence on your own and that’s going to take a few extra bits of effort, but Charismatic Leadership Tactics (CLTs) are a set of skills that people can learn and refine to be seen as charismatic.

These techniques are equally successful in professional and personal communication. There are about 16 CLTs, some more effective than others, and some are easily employed in your day-to-day communication. Here are three you can immediately start using:

STORIES AND ANECDOTES

The use of story is an amazing public speaking tactic. Think about it – we’re all connected by experiences, and we bond

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

by sharing like experiences. Stories are an excellent way to share these experiences and bonds, and are fairly easy to start using or refine.

feel incredibly contrived at first, but the more you do it, the more you’ll find some fun changes that you can naturally incorporate.

If you’re starting with stories, remember that too many details can sink any great story, and every story needs a beginning, middle and end. No matter what level storyteller you are, it’s important to know why you’re telling the story. To entertain? To inform? To evoke emotion? If you understand your why and purpose for telling the story, you’ll be able to do it to the best of your ability.

By moving your voice around, you will automatically start to change your facial expressions.

Smiling while you talk is also a great way to change your tone: try it! It automatically brightens what you’re saying. Finally, gestures can be the bane of some folks’ existence. A good rule of thumb is to make the gesture or don’t. The halfhearted gestures look exactly that, and if you’re simply doing repetitive gestures, you’ll look nervous, not charismatic.

REFLECTION OF THE GROUP’S SENTIMENTS

Emotional Intelligence and Empathy are buzz words in the workplace. It seems like no matter where you turn, you’ve got an empathy “expert” asserting how you can connect with your coworkers and essentially learn how to show human behavior.

Lucky for most of us, we can generally understand how other people are feeling by paying attention to words, facial expressions and body language. If you notice everyone looks a little stressed in the next meeting you’re in, you have a choice: you can sit there quietly and absorb all of that weird and seminegative energy, or you can say, “I think we are all feeling a little stressed.” By recognizing this emotion as well as calling it out, you are showing that you understand the people around you.

Don’t just jump into this one without practice, though. We might be in situations where speaking up about the general feeling of the room isn’t a great idea, and for those, you can reflect one on one with colleagues or other folks that you might be connected with in the room. Don’t overthink the emotions, but don’t assume. Take some time to listen and pay attention first.

ANIMATED VOICE, FACIAL EXPRESSIONS & GESTURES

This is a three for one! Vocal variance, facial expressions and gestures go hand in hand in hand, and make for a dynamic speaker. If you’re trying to work on your cadence, or how your voice moves through space, try going faster than usual, slower than usual (not like a robot! Speak with emphasis!), at a higher or lower tone. This is going to

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In the end, charisma is confidence, so try these on for size before your next important conversation!

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October 2019 | 67

Highway of Life with SoberSis

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

What’s your relationship with drinking?

Are you thinking about “wine o’clock,” or do you know you need a drink or two to ease your nerves at a networking event? Maybe you’ve never taken time to think about that relationship. Try it now: think about the relationship you have with alcohol. Write it down, record it or simply just remember it.

www.sobersis.com/forsythmags or Text: “SoberSis” to 833-369-3223

Now, consider that relationship with drinking, like a car on a highway. Lots of folks on it, cruising along, some passing others – and you’re simply cruising along.

Suddenly, your warning light comes on. This is the moment when you pull off the highway to check what’s happening, right? Or, do you keep driving?

Jenn Kautsch, the mastermind behind SoberSis, had that exact moment in her metaphor of life – drinking and the highway feel of it all.

“Nothing really happened,” she said. “I didn’t have anything externally in my life going ‘wrong’ with alcohol.

It was more internal. Wine o’clock would roll around, and I was sucked into the vortex. The mommy drinking culture – oh, you have kids, that’s kind of stressful, so just have a glass of wine while you’re cooking. And, before I knew it, I was doing it every night, looking forward to it way too much. It was so misaligning to who I was that it was causing so much mental conflict.

It’s acting like it’s doing me a favor, and I knew it wasn’t.

“If I wanted to lose weight, if I wanted more energy, if I wanted better sleep, I knew right where to start. I knew the culprit.

“I started finding words like ‘gray area’ drinking, sober curious…get unstuck, take a break. These were words that were resonating with me because I don’t feel like I want to say ‘forever’ at that time. It was more like ‘yeah, I want to take a break.’ You don’t have to have a huge drinking problem to have a problem with drinking.”

The term “sober curious” as well as sober bars are finding their way into society, and fast. The alcoholsoaked culture isn’t just appealing to those in recovery from alcoholism – it’s tapping into people who simply want to drink less. A federal survey indicates 67 million Americans binge drink at least monthly. You might be shaking your head and saying “not me” – but binge drinking is four drinks during a single occasion for women and five drinks for men.

Many people that quit drinking don’t do it because they have a problem – they do it because it simply doesn’t make them feel good anymore. If this sounds like your relationship with alcohol, you’re probably fretting a bit about the social aspect of things. Making a choice to stop drinking and be “sober-minded,” as Jenn puts it, isn’t always easy when alcohol is seemingly so ingrained in every aspect of a social life.

Cue SoberSis, the women’s club slash support group and resource center for the woman who is living her active, empowered, health-conscious life and just feeling that she is drinking a bit too much – that woman that wants to take a mindful break from the habit.

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“The science was shocking to me,” said Jenn. “I kind of knew how addictive alcohol could be, but I just didn’t put it together. I didn’t drink until I was 33.

And, when I started as an adult, it was awesome.

When it wasn’t awesome anymore, I felt like it was all my fault. I thought I just couldn’t handle it. Versus saying ‘Oh, that’s the nature of the drug. You drink a little bit, and you want more. And, when you’re doing it alone, you’re trying to maintain perfection, and that’s just not fair to yourself.

miles, you have a few ways to make it happen. First, follow SoberSis on Facebook and Instagram. Then, hop on the website (www.sobersis.com), and download your free guide: a useful and actionable walkthrough that checks you in to your mindset around drinking. After that, it’s up to you!

If you’d like more support, her 21-Day Reset runs every month for $97.

As Jenn puts it on her website, how much do you save not drinking?

“It turns out the mental tug-of-war about alcohol isn’t all your fault.”

“Drinking can look so glamorous and easy to justify because it seems everyone is doing it, but behind the scenes, or internally, the wheels might be coming off, and that’s what no one seemed to be talking about.”

I quit drinking four years ago when I moved here from NYC – no major life disruption, no catastrophic event – just got tired of how it made me feel. I can’t express how many people thought I was pregnant, had an alcohol problem, were “shocked” I wouldn’t just have “one glass” of wine on a hard day. I wish I had the support network, tools and science on why it was so hard for me, coaching calls and mocktail recipes. As much as the hangover-free mornings were worth it, the struggle would have been lessened with a strong group of supportive women.

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The Calming Powers of (Wo)Man’s Best Friend

BY ELISA WALLACE COPPEDE

As the famous 19th century American humorist Josh Billings once said, “A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.” And this fact remains steadfast today. This animal has long carried the title of being “man’s best friend,” for a variety of reasons. Who would not want a “best friend,” with the assets a dog possesses? Loyalty, unconditional love, dependability—these are just a few of the many qualities.

Yet, while everyone agrees dogs are wonderful to be around, many do not realize a human’s overall health could improve by simply being around one. How can a dog help our wellbeing? Read on for a few of the many reasons on why being around a dog can help as much as a trip to a doctor.

REASON #1: DOGS CAN LOWER YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE.

Yes, this is a fact. According to the “News in Health” article, “The Power of Pets,” interacting with animals can lower levels of cortisol, a stress-related hormone. Many believe that since having a dog requires one to walk or be physically active, this can aid in helping lower one’s cortisol. However, other students have found that cortisol may be lower in that “animals can reduce loneliness, increase feelings of social support, and boost your mood.”

REASON #2: DOGS REQUIRE US TO PRACTICE “MINDFULNESS.” Dogs require us to focus on the present, the goal of someone seeking to be mindful. An ordinary required walk

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for dog owners is often when this “mindfulness” occurs.

For the dog, the walk is the pinnacle of their day—for us it is a time to drop everything and go outside for some fresh air. When we commit this act, we are tapping into being more mindful. As we walk, all permeating worries are set aside. It is then that we begin to enjoy life in the present— the air, the birds, the trees, all of these come into our focus as we take in the moment.

REASON #3: DOGS REMIND US TO BE EMPATHETIC.

There is a reason why service dogs are a popular aid in those suffering from a variety of social issues such as PTSD. It is true that dogs can literally feel the pain of their owner and do anything in their power to offer their own empathy. In the article, “How Dogs Drive Emotional Well-Being,” from Psychology

Today, the author explores how war veterans often utilize service dogs to help with stress. For example, one Iraq war vet’s service dog, Arleigh, can sense that her owner is about to experience an anxiety attack. “Once Arleigh senses her owner’s anger and anxiety building, she gives him a signal to start using mindful breathing and other tools to calm down until she senses his negative emotions have diminished.”

REASON #4: DOGS CAN HELP CHILDREN DEALING WITH MENTAL OR PHYSICAL ISSUES.

Often children with ADHD, can greatly benefit from being around animals of all kinds—especially dogs. According to “The Power of Pets,” a study discovered that students with ADHD who read to a therapy dog for 30 minutes once a week, were able to focus their attention easier than another group of ADHD students who read to puppets that looked like dogs.

REASON #5: DOGS ENCOURAGE SOCIALIZATION.

Dog owners are required to go for walks. And during these walks, often owners will find themselves engaging in another conversation with a mutual dog owner. That is because dogs are pack animals at heart. Their daily walks are a prime time for them to connect with others of their kind. In the end, this promotes social activity for all—which is a good thing. In the article, “How Dogs Drive Emotional Well-being,” this is further explored. “In a study of more than 800 people over 50, those who walked a dog at least four times per week were more likely to report feeling a strong sense of community, compared to people who didn’t own a dog, lending itself to healthy aging.”

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Characteristics of a Ever wonder why some people seem to bounce back from tragic or difficult times while others never seem to recover? We all know individuals who have survived life-threatening illness, loss of a loved one, financial devastation, or all of these tragedies, who continue forward positively with a continued gratitude for life. What characteristics do these people possess, and can you learn to embrace and practice them?

Here are character traits that survivors tend to have in common. Consider how these characteristics describe your approach to life.

Love - Self-love and genuine love of others. Loving oneself and practicing habitual self-care, both emotional and physical, are key to surviving life’s travails. Habits that maintain physical health help survivors manage stress.

Emotionally strong people can accept unexpected tragedy without letting it define them or their future. They can also accept their own mistakes, deal with self-disappointment, and move forward without lingering selfincrimination. Loving and caring for oneself prepares one for genuinely loving others, unconditionally, with empathy.

This leads to strong bonds and invaluable supportive relationships.

Adaptability - A combination of curiosity, strategic problem solving, and bravery. When faced with a difficulty, the survivor will be proactive in articulating the problem and set out to strategically find a solution. His or her mind must be curious enough to seek new, innovative answers and brave to enough welcome and embrace resulting change. A person with adaptability will avoid lingering in a depressed state and naturally seek activities and solutions that lead to positive outcomes.

Self-Possession - Self-Awareness - Recognizing, owning, and controlling one’s emotions. Emotional control, particularly over anger, is key for surviving life’s difficulties with grace. Anger management preserves credibility and

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SURVIVOR

BY ADELE CASANOVA

maintains the respect of others. Angry outbursts can leave a person feeling self-defeated through loss of control, and seen by others as churlish, inflexible or self-centered. Maintaining calm during stressful times leaves energy and resources for adaptability. Being self-aware means having a sense of one’s place and purpose in life, one’s value to society.

A self-aware person follows a path of spiritual teaching, celebrating, and expressing gratitude.

Leadership - Natural ability to draw people together. Leaders find commonality with others and display genuine empathy. They leverage that commonality to create “win-win” scenarios.

Leaders have excellent people skills and can communicate successfully with everyone, creating a natural attractiveness. Leadership involves investing in others, believing in them while sharing knowledge and offering support. Leadership also requires good communication skills and command of the language, being able to express oneself in an articulate manner, drawing in and connecting emotionally with other people.

Faith - Faith in oneself, in others and in a greater presence. Faith gives meaning to existence and generates hope. Hope drives motivation to survive and survive well. Hope means believing in possibilities. Vaclav Hovel, former President of the Czech Republic, defines it. “Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.” Believing that there is greater purpose to life, faith, and assurance in good intentions and possibilities is essential to surviving life’s tragedies with a continued will to move forward and embrace a positive future.

Do you know a survivor of tragedy who possesses these traits?

Or maybe this describes you, rebuilding your life after great difficulty. Surviving tragedy with a positive outlook and continued gratitude for life calls for a set of strong characteristics: self-love and awareness, value of others, faith, and the ability to communicate with empathy.

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October 2019 | 73

Public SPeaking boot camP:

In the Moment

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

Public speaking. It’s a skill that can make or break your career path.

If you freeze up every single time you talk and can’t express yourself clearly and authentically, you’re going to be held back. Communication is incredibly important in every single career, and public speaking is still one of the most highly feared tasks for many people.

Before you say, “I’m just not good at this” or “I don’t need more skills!” take a step back and take a deep breath. Over the next few issues, we’re going to run a public speaking boot camp to level up your public speaking skills. Whether you’re ready for your first meeting or first TED Talk, these skills will start the trajectory to you being the best version of yourself.

Last month we discussed warming up, and if you’ve added that to your repertoire, you’re ahead of the pack already. What happens when you’re in the middle of your talk or meeting, and you suddenly blank and start at the group like a deer in headlights? No matter how much we prep and practice (and you should be prepping and practicing, even if it’s in the car ride over!) there’s that terrifying possibility that your brain just short circuits and there’s nothing there. Here are three quick tips to recover from what I like to call, brain locks:

BREATHE

When you suddenly forget where you are or where you’re going, it’s usually because you’ve been moving too fast, you didn’t practice enough, or something happened that threw you off your path. This first tip might sound a bit too easy, but breathe. I’m not talking about a little panicked breath to keep you from passing out: I’m talking about a deep breath that fills your stomach and back. Try it now: place one hand on your back and the other on your stomach and take a few deep breaths.

When you get stuck, this is a great way to recalibrate your brain and path: just breathing. By taking those few moments to yourself and thinking where you were and where you’re going, you’ll get yourself back on track.

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BE TRANSPARENT… There is nothing wrong with being transparent with your audience.

They want you to succeed! So many people I talk to feel as though speaking is a “me versus them” situation when it comes to an audience, and that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Audiences, no matter who they are composed of, do not want to see you fail. Here’s proof: think of the last time you saw someone “fail” – how did you feel? Probably pretty terrible. No one wants that feeling, because we get the energy we put out.

Saying something like, “One moment, I’ve got to find my place” and then taking a deep breath and checking your notes (even if you don’t use them the whole time, have them for moments like this!) and then continuing on is a great way to both show your audience that you’re human and for them to show some empathy because chances are, they’ve gotten stuck too.

…BUT MIND THE APOLOGIES This one is less of a do and more of a don’t – watch your apologies!

There’s nothing worse than a speaker apologizing a million times for losing their place or getting stuck in a brain lock. Did you do something you’re ashamed of? Did you hurt the audience in some way by getting stuck for a few moments? No? Then don’t profusely apologize. The only thing that excessive apologizing does is make the audience feel sorry for you and pity isn’t a good emotion.

If you must apologize because it’s part of your character (and there is nothing wrong with that!) then try saying “I apologize, I lost my place, one moment” versus “Oh. I’m sorry!” Sorry implies a feeling of shame – and no public speaking brain lock should be shameful.

When all else fails, remember: you, and your audience, are human.

That minor mistake is just that – a little mistake.

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High Quality Nutrition for Your Pet’s Best Health & Life

BY ADELE CASANOVA, PHOTO BY ANNETTE JOYCE

No doubt we all love our pets, our “fur babies.” Our pets are truly family members, and we want the best for them. But, do you really know enough about your pet’s diet? Is it truly nutritious, or is poor nutrition causing your pet to suffer from health or behavioral problems?

Phil Ray, of Best 4K9, has made it his mission to educate pet owners about nutrition and to provide only the best, highest quality pet food choices for their beloved pets. As a former firefighter and paramedic, Phil gained an understanding about human nutrition and its relation to human health. He then took that concept into his pet food distribution and retail business started in 1998 in Florida.

He has now brought his knowledge of pet nutrition, and passion for providing it, to North Carolina. Best 4K9 has opened three

stores over the past five years, educating pet owners throughout the Triad. Adding to their Greensboro and Oak Ridge stores, their newest location is on Robinhood Road in WinstonSalem.

Best 4K9 also suggests rotation feeding for optimal health. By rotating types of food, such as chicken, beef, lamb, etc. as well as food forms – raw, wet and dry – adds exciting variety for your pet and can actually strengthen your pet’s immune system. Done correctly, rotation feeding can help your pet avoid digestive problems and prevent picky eating habits. Help your pet enjoy eating as much as you do!

“Our focus is on educating people about high-quality nutrition for their pets and how it can be used to drastically improve a pet’s health and life,” said Phil. “We spend a lot of time with each person to help them explore what’s going on with their pet and what they might do differently.” They offer a very carefully selected line of products and have personal relationships with all the manufacturers they recommend. They do factory visits to ensure quality production. The brands they carry consist of foods and treats made only from quality ingredients.

Best 4K9 carries frozen, dry, and wet pet foods, supplements, treat, toys and training items such as collars and leads.

They offer healthier cat litter made from corn, which is a better choice than clay litter which creates dust that can damage a cat’s respiratory system. One very popular item at Best 4K9 is the raw goat’s milk for dogs and cats. Pets love it, and it contains beneficial probiotics for healthy digestion.

“It’s amazing what a difference proper nutrition makes in a pet’s health,” said Phil. Poor quality diet for dogs and cats can result in the same kinds of health issues humans experience eating a poor diet – obesity, diabetes, skin irritation and even heart problems. Switching your pets to a high-quality diet can clear up problems like poor digestion, allergies, ear infections, hot spots and excessive licking. Phil and his well-trained team make it easy to transition your pet to a new, healthier diet. The Best 4K9’s three-part diet transition plan is to introduce the new food as one third new to two thirds old, then gradually work the new diet in completely over six days.

This allows your pet’s digestive system to adjust easily.

Phil and his team are educators. They learn about their clients’ pet needs and often offer samples, knowing they are assisting pets toward proper nutrition resulting in long and healthy lives. They often hear back from their clients with such comments as, “He is finally interested in his bowl again!” “He has never eaten like this before!” and “I can’t believe how much her skin has improved and the scratching has stopped!”

The Robinhood Road store also offers premium grooming by appointment.

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October 2019 | 77

Tips to Be Assertive at Work

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

Assertive isn’t a bad word.

Too often I talk to female clients who feel that they can’t be assertive at work because it’s going to be seen as being abrasive.

This couldn’t be farther from the truth. Assertive communication is confident and when done unapologetically, can be incredibly effective.

Before you work on being assertive, it’s important to understand the other three communication styles: passive, aggressive, and passive-aggressive.

Passive communication takes the backseat. A passive communicator will rarely have and share their personal opinion and will often go along with the loudest voice. Usually, passive communicators neglect to make eye contact, and will often be so soft-spoken that even if they did have something to add, you couldn’t hear it.

Aggressive communicators will often use influence tactics like bullying and pressuring for people to “see it their way.” They will often raise their voices and use proximity to pressure the people they are talking to by standing uncomfortably close – and will often display emotions like anger and frustration to the people they are talking to. Passive-aggressive communicators do a bit of both: they won’t directly confront the person they are talking to with any cries of outrage, but they might mutter their displeasure or talk about it behind someone’s back, or in a hypothetical.

Now that you understand what not to do in assertive communication at work, how about what to do:

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USE “I STATEMENTS”

situation before you speak or jump to conclusions. By listening and paying attention, thinking about what you’re going to say before you say it, you’re responding to a situation and conversation before reacting to it.

Aggressive communication is hallmarked by a reaction versus a response, and passive communication draws little to no response in the moment.

By taking responsibility and ownership of our feelings and actions instead of blaming or using a lot of you statements, you’re being assertive. Try it now: think of a situation in your professional life, and make an “I statement” about it. Maybe you write it down first, and then say it out loud. How did that feel?

Try these three ideas for assertive communication and be sure to reflect on how different – or similar – they might be from how you normally communicate.

One of the hallmarks of assertive communication is the “I statement.” By using I, you’re not being selfish: you’re owning your thoughts and feelings. If you’re in a disagreement with someone about doing a task, you can say, “I’m confused, I thought I was going to be completing this. Can you help me understand?” That “I statement” owns your feelings, sets the stage with your confusion and then allows the other person to help out.

MAKE EYE CONTACT

Not creepy eye contact! You’re not having a staring contest – that does nothing but intimidate the person you’re talking to. Making eye contact is can make you extremely vulnerable because you’re connecting with another person!

It’s also showing confidence: you’re allowing that other person to connect with you, and in turn, trust you.

Creepy eye contact comes in when you aren’t blinking, aren’t looking away, and using eye contact with a loud voice or a close proximity. Remember, the purpose of eye contact when you speak is trust, not intimidation or demonstrating authority.

Try it with the next conversation you have, and look into that person’s eyes, not at their eyebrows or forehead. You don’t have to gaze, just make eye contact, even if it’s only when you first greet them at the beginning of a conversation.

ONE MOUTH, TWO EARS

One of the most assertive things you can do in the workplace to listen more than you talk. That might sound passive, and I assure you it isn’t. If you’re listening more than you talk, you’re assessing the

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October 2019 | 79

Mammograms 101

BY JAMIE LOBER

The American Cancer Society defined a mammogram as an x-ray of the breast that looks for changes that could be signs of breast cancer. While there are screening recommendations, the best strategy is to know your body, your risks, and talk to your gynecologist to learn what will be most effective for you. Early detection for any disease is always the key, though just how early you need to become more aware of your breast health is individualized.

In 2017 the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists revised their recommendations for mammograms to focus more on patient autonomy and shared decision-making with the doctor. They suggest women and their gynecologists have a conversation about the woman’s health history, benefits, and harms of screening, concerns, priorities, values, preferences, and potential benefits and harms of screening. They find that regular screening mammography starting at 40 years old reduces breast cancer mortality in women with average risk.

The American College of Radiology and Society of Breast Imaging shared the recommendation that women start to get mammograms at 40 years old as it can be lifesaving. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists do note that screening can also cause anxiety, false-positive reports, overdiagnosis, and overtreatment.

Be conscious of when you schedule your mammogram. It is not a good idea to schedule it the week before a menstrual period. The best time is actually a week after your period. Some basic tips to make sure the mammogram goes smoothly include: • Not wearing deodorant or lotion • Describing any symptoms or problems with your breasts • Share any personal or family history of breast cancer, prior surgeries or hormone use • Gathering prior mammograms if you had any so the doctor can compare findings • Find out when results will be available and follow up Knowing what to expect can help you feel more at ease during the procedure. The x-ray machine gives off a little burst of radiation that goes through your body and creates a film. The mammogram is performed on an outpatient basis where a licensed radiologic technologist positions your breast on a platform and compresses it with a plastic paddle.

Compressing the breast helps all of the tissue to be seen and a sharp picture to be taken electronically.

Both breasts will be photographed and you may be asked to change positions in order for the doctor to get the greatest views. For example, women who have breast implants may need to have a few extra

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pictures taken to be sure all of the breast tissue is seen. Sometimes 2-D images are created from the 3-D ones due to the advances of technology. The entire procedure should not take more than half an hour.

• Helps to detect all kinds of breast cancer • Increases detection of small abnormal tissue growths • There are usually no side effects • No radiation remains in the body

If you are a Forsyth woman over 40 years old and have not had your first mammogram, do not worry. You want to be educated on the risks and benefits and screen every one or two years. Women with an average risk for breast cancer should continue screening until they are 75 years old. After age 75, you want to consider health status and longevity when making a decision about screening.

The medical community has revisited the guidelines as well as taken a close look at mammography over the years to make sure it is as effective and safe for patients as possible. Modern x-ray systems have very controlled beams that are different from the mammogram you may envisioned from the past. Remember that there are many non-cancerous breast conditions, and just because the mammogram detects something unusual does not mean that it is a problem. By having open dialogue and addressing questions and concerns with your doctor, you will be able to make educated and wise decisions about your breast health.

Consider the positive side to mammograms. The Radiological Society of North America listed benefits such as: • It helps the doctor detect tumors when they are small and easier to treat

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October 2019 | 81

The Sober Curious Movement

BY KEELA JOHNSON

Do you remember a few decades ago, what a joke we all thought it was, that people would bottle up water, and then put it up for sale in bars and restaurants and stores, and people would actually buy it? And now the water section in the grocery store has almost as many choices as the soda section. Crazy, huh? That’s sort of what I was thinking when I heard there were bars that did not serve alcohol. I mean, isn’t that sort of the definition of “bar”? What’s a bar without all the beautiful liquor bottles lined up behind the bartenders?

I never seriously thought that there would be bars that didn’t serve alcohol. While this trend has not yet been embraced by the bars in our community (as least not that I am aware of), I do think it will come. It may come slowly, or in small, almost unperceivable shifts that we hardly notice, in pieces, and not all at once.

But mark my words – as surely as I’m sipping on my $3.00 bottle of water, some form of this is coming.

Let me introduce you to the “Sober Curious” movement (and yes, it is already actually a movement – Google it and you’ll see). These are the people who are starting to wonder, or be curious about, what their lives would look like without alcohol.

• No foggy feeling the next morning, or worse yet, a full-blown hangover.

• No reason to call a friend or Uber for a ride home, or take the risk of driving after having a few drinks.

• The best sleep ever (this one I cannot stress enough).

• Always being present (in the moment) and remembering those precious times with family, friends, coworkers, neighbors.

• Fewer calories – can probably drop a few pounds.

• The money you save from buying drinks out, and/or wine or beer from the grocery store – maybe buy a new dress since you’ve dropped a few pounds? Just saying…

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While my journey didn’t really start with a ‘reset,’ there is a huge community of women with whom I am now friends who have done just that. Called Sober Sis, and founded by Jenn Kautsch, it’s a program called the 21-Day Reset Challenge. For some it’s just to be more mindful about their drinking, but for others it’s about a completely new lifestyle. Jenn’s goal for women is for them to know that the cards are absolutely NOT stacked against them, and for each woman to individually have her “own journey to a more mindful approach to their drinking.” You may wonder if you can still have fun without alcohol. Or you may have no desire to cut back. Being sober minded or sober curious is not for everyone. But do you have just enough of that competitive nature that you’d be willing to challenge yourself to a 21-day reset? If so, let’s do it together!

See page 68/69 for more information on the 21-Day Reset Challenge. (Use code forsythmags for a $15 discount.) www.sobersis.com/forsythmags So now, as one of my newest friends and sisters said, I choose ME. I choose my family, my friends, meaningful conversations, quiet contemplation, coffee, meditation and gratitude. I choose joy, pain, heartache and reconciliation. I can now feel it all!

This IS my freedom and I’m just getting started!

Thank you, Jenn and thank you to each and every one of my new sisters… I am so, so grateful!

OCTOBER MOCKTAIL RECIPE: Moscow Mule 1 lime (1-2 Tablespoons juice, fresh is best) 1 Tablespoon *Simple Syrup (detailed directions below) ¼ cup Club Soda 3-4 Mint Leaves (torn &/or muddled) ¾ cup Ginger Beer [**the name is misleading – most commercial ginger beer is a soft drink and contains no alcohol] Crushed ice 1. In bottom of cup, pour juice from lime, *simple syrup and club soda 2. Add mint leaves if desired.

3. Fill cup about half-way with crushed ice.

4. Pour approximately ¾ cup Ginger Beer over ice.

5. Garnish with mint leaves and lime wedge (if desired) I like to use copper cups for this one! *Simple Syrup: I make this ahead and store in fridge in glass container. Makes 1 ½ cups.

1 cup water (filtered), 1 cup granulated sugar Fill saucepan with equal amounts of water and sugar simply bring to a boil simmer over low heat until sugar is clear. Pour in glass container and refrigerate.

(If just a small amount for the day or night, refrigeration is not necessary.)

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October 2019 | 83

7 Benefits of Writing

BY MEGAN TAYLOR

Life can be hard. It can be confusing. It can also be comforting.

Every now and then, most people find a way to relax and let go of their emotions and thoughts. Some will take walks, others will have a conversation with a friend, while many will write and journal. Writing doesn’t mean you have to sit down and publish a book. This habit takes on various forms, depending on the writer.

One day you can be creating a story that’s been in your mind, the next day you are creating a list of your hopes and goals, and lastly, you are writing down characteristics about a passed loved one you miss. Once a pen hits a piece of paper, or a person’s fingers hit the keyboard, a powerful thing occurs. Plus, there are health and lifestyle benefits to writing. If you have been wanting to journal and haven’t known where to start, let me persuade you with a few facts, as well as some tips and tricks.

1. You will eliminate stress. Don’t we all want to get rid of at least a little bit of stress in our lives? By journaling, you are creating a clear list of everything you are worried about, therefore, allowing those thoughts to come out of your head. In addition, it helps you to see what you are stressing about and whether or not you actually need to be stressing about them. Something in our heads may seem big when, in reality, it is tiny.

2. You’ll gain a sense of awareness of your reality. Our minds can only take so much before they “explode.” Just like with stress, writing down what you have on your mind, what you are going to complete, achieve, and how you feel, will help you realize who you actually are and what you are feeling. Plus, writing down your thoughts will assist you in making better decisions.

3. Between gaining a sense of reality and eliminating your stress, writing makes you happier. Researcher Laura King stated in the

article “The Psychological Benefits of Writing” that keeping a gratitude journal will increase your happiness and health, because you are able to focus more on the good things in life.

4. Periodically journaling your thoughts, daily life, and memories soon becomes a historical record for you to keep year after year. Some people fill notebook after notebook with their writings.

5. A common reason for people to write is to channel and understand traumatic events, as well as hard memories. Journaling about your

difficult times can help you realize the feelings and emotions you might have held in. However, studies have found that it is best to wait until about six months after the event for the benefits to sink in; otherwise, you could become more depressed. It is also important to note that this type of writing shouldn’t be forced; let it flow.

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6. Journaling can make you a better learner. Writing does take

time and thought. You sometimes have to be in a zone to put words into sentences. Yet this creative outlet lets you express ideas and encourages critical thinking. In return, you are more introspective, explore more interests, and are more willing to dive deeper into ideas.

7. One final benefit of writing is that it can keep your mind in shape. This habit motivates your brain to stay sharp and can help protect against Alzheimer’s and dementia.

The power of writing, whether it’s every day or a couple of times a month, can have a big benefit on your health. Also, it is a creative way for self-care, putting yourself first, and clearing your mind.

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October 2019 | 85

THE SCHOONER, AMERICAN EAGLE

BY CHARLIE SCHULER, PHOTOS BY DOUG MAGRUDER The next day was similar, without the lobsters, but they launched a sailing dinghy. This was a three-passenger gaff-rigged lapstrake dory [lapstrake is a method of boat building where the edges of hull planks overlap each other].

Marianne and I got in for a sail, but the wind has its own way. And it died on us. We still had a ball.

The 93’ Schooner, AMERICAN EAGLE, was built in Gloucester, Massachusetts in 1930 as a fishing vessel (a schooner is a sailing vessel with two or more masts). She was purchased by the current captain in 1984 and refitted and launched in 1986 as a cruiser in the Windjammer fleet. AMERICAN EAGLE’s first big outing was the 100th anniversary of the Statue of Liberty in New York Harbor.

This was a huge celebration with more than 60,000 boats of every description in the harbor. It was special for us because we were there with our family of 11 aboard the 34-foot O’Day sloop for three days and three nights.

We really only saw the AMERICAN EAGLE from afar back then, but this past August we were privileged to see the EAGLE up close and personal. Marianne and I, along with her brother and our son and his wife, had the opportunity to spend four days and nights aboard this beautiful vessel. Marianne kept asking me what the agenda was, and I just kept telling her it depended on which way the wind blew.

We boarded the AMERICAN EAGLE Sunday after 6 p.m. and slept on board. We were given a tour of the vessel including the safety features. The cabin had bunk beds, a sink, mirror, and a 12 volt car type connection to charge one’s phone. They pointed out the location of two heads and single shower on board.

We awoke to a fantastic sunshine-filled day and the smell of fresh coffee and honey buns. All meals were served on deck, and the weather cooperated wonderfully. If there was inclement weather, we would all have to gather in the galley. This would be cramped because we had a full ship of 26 passengers and six crew. By the way, the galley used a real wood-burning stove. Cozy and authentic.

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We set sail in the morning from our dock in Rockland, Maine, and sailed through the harbor and out into the open waters.

It was heavenly. The captain got the passengers involved with raising all four sails and properly storing the lines. We carried a sailing dory [small, shallow lightweight boat] and a longboat as our dinghy. As we sailed, they served up a beautiful and delicious lunch. We sailed well into the afternoon, and I couldn’t help but notice the crew periodically wetting down a box FULL of live lobsters.

Sure enough, we reached a remote island with a typical Maine beach, and the captain lowered one of his huge anchors with all chain rode [rode (also known as anchor cable) is what connects your anchor to the boat]. They pulled their longboat alongside and asked for six oarsmen. I was among the first, and Marianne was the first of three “supervisors.” They had a crew member with an oar to help with the steering (remember, six inexperienced rowers).

We made our way to the beach where they had brought a big pot and plenty of wood. It didn’t take them long to get the fire going and the water boiling. In the meantime, they made two more dinghy trips to get the rest of the passengers and crew.

Can you imagine 77 pounds of lobster prepared for you? It was the perfect way and place to eat lobster. And they had all the fixings, like corn on the cob and dessert. The little bit of leftover would show up in tomorrow’s lunch salad.

The night sky was magnificent without the city lights. But the moon was waxing and would be full in three days.

The next day brought us to a new harbor and a new adventure. After anchoring among other boats, a green hull gaffed rig Maine sloop was pointed out. They told us that she was 110 years old. Hard to believe, but we had anchored off the Wooden Boat School and the Magazine Wooden Boat location. All were looking forward to rowing ashore in the morning and taking a tour.

The other thing we have always loved about Maine is that the people you meet are different than our normal circle. They come from everywhere and may have made names for themselves in politics, government, education, or writing. They love the outdoors and are strong environmentalists. When you are together for four days on a 93’ schooner, you get to know a lot of interesting folks.

We are sailors, and we loved our time sailing and working together to move a 43-ton vessel with two massive wooden masts, bigger than telephone poles, and four sails through the water to our goal. The night sky with the full moon was a perfect setting. And the food was first class. FANTASTIC time.

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October 2019 | 87

Bake More “Well she got the promotion, so now I won’t.”

“She’s doing a talk on that, so now I can’t.”

“She got that opportunity, so now I never will.”

Pie

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

Sound familiar? Even if it was a passing thought, all too often women are competing against one another and feel like the pie of success is finite. From “Only I can be the best at this!” to “She got it so I won’t,” this feeling is prevalent even in the folks that claim community over competition. The “why” has been linked to everything from the beginning of time when we were competing to get the best mate to fill our wombs to Disney mentality: if you’re pretty and great, then an evil stepsister/mother will come get you and poison you with an apple or spinning wheel.

As fascinating as it might be, the why doesn’t matter. What matters is moving away from this mentality of the pie of success being too small and finite: what matters is baking more pie.

Women have it hard enough as it is without us getting in each other’s way with petty jealousy. There are a few things you can do right now to increase opportunities for all women and start building each other up.

CHECK YOUR EMOTIONS

It is OK to be jealous of another woman or her success. I repeat, it is ok to experience jealousy. You know why? Because you’re a human and your emotions are valid. Where this goes wrong: when you’re behaving in a spiteful manner or thinking that her success stands in the way of yours.

Being honest with your emotions is hard: if you’re admitting that you’re jealous of another woman, you’re admitting that you might have let yourself down, or played smaller than you’d like to admit. Think about it: when do we feel jealousy? I have a “friend” that whenever I accomplish something, she turns it into a competition piece where she immediately seeks out to one up me. It’s the weirdest thing – I’ll do something, be excited about it, and then she’ll tell me how she’s doing this thing that’s “almost the same but a little

bigger!” as she recently put it. I know the root of that behavior is some weird jealousy, and I’d be lying if I said I never felt the same with another woman.

That being said, reframing your thoughts if you are competitive is fairly easy: compete against yourself.

Think about where you were a week, a month or a year ago: how much stronger are you now? How much stronger could you be in a week, month, or year if you stopped thinking about someone else and started putting that energy towards yourself?

Be selfish for a bit!

HOLD THE DOOR OPEN

When you get to the shiny space of accomplishment, no matter what it is, hold the door open for other women that are up and coming. Too often I see women get to powerful or impressive positions, and when they could be ushering more women in to join them for world domination, they slam the door because they don’t want to be replaced.

That attitude of scarcity leads to a culture of scarcity.

You are the best version of you! No one, I repeat, no one can replace that. You’re an incredibly sparkly supernova of awesomeness, and wouldn’t it be great if you brought in more supernovas of awesomeness and your career or field or office was filled with awesomeness?

Hold the door open for folks that are on the same path – there’s only one you.

I SHINE, YOU SHINE

Shine Theory, originally coined by Anne Friedman and Aminatou Sow, is the idea that impressive women should befriend other impressive women: if one woman shines her light on another, and that woman shines her light on the first, you’ve got a doubly shiny light of impressive. This isn’t to say that you should befriend women only because they make you look better. This is to say you can take those feelings of jealousy and turn them into admiration!

And always, always remember: we’re always stronger together.

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Defining Our

Life Purpose

BY ADELE CASANOVA

Having purpose in life gives us a sense of belonging. Human beings have an inherent desire to belong to a community and to be a part of something greater than themselves. Defining our purpose in life leads us to experience these connections. But how do we define a life purpose?

As we mature, we begin to know ourselves better with each passing year and each experience we encounter. We begin to develop a value system by which we measure ourselves and our life. It is that value system that is the basis of our life purpose.

Declaring our values and examining how they shape our behavior and choices can help us articulate our life purpose. Once articulated, our life purpose becomes a powerful, guiding motivation toward fulfillment and genuine gratitude in life.

To articulate a life purpose, one can use a combination of techniques, including language and pictures. Writing a list of the values by which we aspire to live and combining it with a list of adjectives that we believe describe us, along with a list of verbs that describe our actions, we can cross-reference the lists to begin articulating a statement of life purpose: a personal mission statement. This can be an intense process and is aided with input from close friends and family, acting as a mirror for us.

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engaging in life in a manner that leads to fulfillment, human connection, and gratitude. Once we begin to articulate our life purpose, we will see how it shapes our behavior, our career choices, our community involvement, and the pursuit of our goals.

With a life purpose articulated in this way, we begin to live intentionally. Our relationships are enriched as we better understand how human dynamics are influenced by our values. We can begin to live up to our potential. By living with a purpose greater than immediate material gain, but one based on our inner values, we allow ourselves to develop more fully as human beings. Purposeful, intentional living leads to genuine happiness. We experience the gift of caring for and uplifting others. Material gain and fulfillment will follow as an after effect. We will experience more personal fulfillment and less stress when living within our life purpose.

For those who are visual, making a vision board is a powerful way to define a life purpose. By collecting pictures from various magazines of interest to us, and arranging them on a poster board, we can create a life purpose in pictures.

Pictures that depict actions, lifestyles, dynamics, and environments that speak to our values can become a visual depiction of a life purpose.

A life purpose, or personal mission statement, can contain phrases such as “I am a leader who encourages others to …” or “I use my God-given talents in … to enrich the lives of others.” This definition of your life purpose, or your statement of intentional living, can be as long or short as you want to make it to define what you feel is the reason you wake every day and engage in a meaningful way with others.

A life purpose can evolve as you grow as a person, or as you realize more acutely how to express it. For example, a parent’s life purpose may be related to raising happy, healthy children. After those children are grown up and on their own, the parent’s life purpose may change to benefiting others by sharing the same knowledge, commitment, and caring that they used in raising their children.

Both of these techniques are meant to help us identify what motivates us, the “why” of rising in the morning and

Defining and articulating your life purpose is a gift you give yourself, allowing you to gift others through your value system.

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BY MEGAN TAYLOR

7 SCRUMPTIOUS FOODS SOUTHERNERS TRULY LOVE

October 11th is known as National Southern Food Heritage Day, and as many people know, southerners have quite a unique palate. Grits, Cheerwine, sweet tea, and hush puppies are some of the more wellknown southern foods and drinks.

Yet, on National Southern Food Heritage Day, people throughout the South celebrate the dishes and treats that originated in our area, including the ones below.

KING CAKE

This special cake is a Mardi Gras tradition and not just in New Orleans. First appearing in 1870 and arriving in New Orleans from France, the king cake is a ring-shaped dessert topped with sugar and icing, in the colors of green, purple, and yellow. It is usually eaten on Fat Tuesday. Hidden inside the cake is a plastic baby doll. The person who finds it is “King for the Day” and is supposed to purchase next year’s cake or host a Fat Tuesday party. In addition, the baby doll symbolizes Jesus being visited by the three wise men on January 6th, which is also known as Holy Day, Epiphany, and the Twelfth Night.

FRIED FOODS

(which can include any type of food) The South is known for fried green tomatoes, fried okra, fried fish, and just about fried anything. These battered delicacies come in a variety of different ways and can be made spicy. Other foods I have seen fried are butter, Oreos, and doughnuts.

I would recommend trying these at your own discretion.

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PIMENTO CHEESE

According to Serious Eats website, pimento cheese originated in the 1870s with New York farmers. These New Yorkers started creating cream cheese, and Spain began sending canned red peppers or pimentos to the United States. In 1908, the two items appeared together in a Good Housekeeping recipe. Afterwards, the mixture became a hit, especially in the South. As a matter of fact, farmers in Georgia grew red peppers and sent them throughout the United States, adding to the craze. Over time, pimento cheese, which is also known as the “caviar of the South,” became a staple for many people below the Mason Dixon line. It is a mixture of pimentos, cream cheese, grated cheese, mayonnaise, peppers, and more.

Pimento cheese is eaten on sandwiches, crackers, chips, or even on cheeseburgers.

HUMMINGBIRD CAKE

This is another cake that is a tradition for many events. Ingredients include pineapple, banana, spices, pecans, and a cream cheese frosting.

As for the hummingbird cake name, its history actually comes from Jamaica. Also known as the Doctor Bird Cake, this dessert is named after Jamaica’s national bird. It came to the United States in 1978 when it was printed in Southern Living with the recipe being written by L.H. Wiggins. Later that year, the cake won the Favorite Cake Award at the Kentucky State Fair.

In 1990, Southern Living named the hummingbird cake its favorite recipe and the most requested recipe in the magazine’s history.

BOILED PEANUTS

Remember the buckets of peanuts at Sagebrush Steakhouse or Texas Roadhouse? One can guess that these peanuts were boiled. Mainly popular in Georgia, boiled peanuts are a classic snack at baseball games, roadside stands, and restaurants.

Historians believe this treat started in the Civil War after Union General William T. Sherman’s troops marched through Georgia. After the march, the South was depleted of resources and supplies for their troops.

Peanuts became a main

source of food, and when boiled over a fire with salt, soldiers discovered that the boiled peanuts would last up to seven days in their packs. Once the war ended, the love for boiled peanuts remained and continues to grow to this day.

CHEESE STRAWS

Similar to bread sticks, cheese straws are the perfect southern appetizer and snack. Mainly consisting of flour, cheese, butter, and cayenne pepper, no one quite knows how cheese straws came to be, but some say it was created by a cook who mixed leftover biscuit dough and cheese together. Let’s just say no matter how this snack was invented, southerners are glad it was.

CHARM CAKES

A Victorian-era tradition quickly grabbed the hearts of southerners and found its way into Southern weddings. Within charm cakes, little charms with significant meanings are attached to ribbon and hidden inside the cake.

During a bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, or the actual wedding, each bridesmaid pulls out a charm.

For example, the ring means you are the next to marry, seashell stands for eternal beauty, and a moon stands for opportunity.

Food is part of the South’s history and every family’s heritage. These timeless dishes are ones that most people in the South truly love and will continue to share with future generations.

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October 2019 | 93

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BY LISA S.T. DOSS

G BRAIN M E S

Are you having difficulty adding and subtracting time values in your mind or calculating tips? One way to improve confidence is to practice numeracy.

In the quiet of a morning or evening, begin by choosing a two-digit number like 47; then add five (52) and subtract seven (45). Repeat the process.

Increase the challenge level by choosing a threedigit number. Numeracy helps you hold details while strengthening your ability to categorize numbers

NUMERACY

Your left brain is the master of linear understanding, while the right hemisphere emphasizes creativity and intuition. Jigsaw puzzles, the act of sorting colors and shapes, combines both sides to offer a mental workout of problem-solving and attention.

While scanning multiple configurations, choosing and clicking into place, peace and tranquility promote the relaxation to lower blood pressure and heart rate. Studies suggest puzzle-maniacs tend to live longer. If you haven’t assembled a puzzle in a while, begin with 500 pieces. The perfect balance to present both challenge and solvability!

JIGSAW PUZZLES

Reading clues to suit blocks positioned both across and down is one of the top cognitive exercises that aid all aspects of mental acuity. By merely investing time in a brain consuming activity, like crossword puzzles, you vastly can improve verbal skills, think more creatively, improve problem-solving and delve deeper into thought-provoking subjects.

Three and four heads are much better than one; therefore, invite friends! Talking through ideas and thoughts strengthens social bonds, and keeps the mind sharp. The only downfall: You may become an insufferable genius!

CROSSWORD PUZZLES

Ah, forgetting where you placed keys and glasses, or following a direction stated a mere five-minutes ago, those are “normal” age-related aspects of memory loss. Did you know a vitamin deficiency of B-12 and hyperthyroidism can affect your memory, too? The continued absence of sharp details can feel like a brain drain. The solution is an activity to maintain and improve cognitive skills. It is time to consider playing games to improve memory, learning, attention and mood!

Research suggests the continuous stimulation of the neural pathways can improve and prolong healthy brain performance. There are any number of ways to promote mental acuity; so, get started today in planning your first brainy activity!

Have phone, will travel? Yes, you already have the means to target specific areas such as controlling anxiety, improving memory and attention span.

Start by researching “Brain Training Apps” to decide which game you want to download and potentially buy. Be careful; some games require a fee to play the full version.

BRAIN TRAINING APPS

Technology, particularly keyboarding, cannot compete with the cognitive benefits of using paper and pencil. According to the experts, expressing thoughts by hand enhances cognitive processes.

Typing may be a faster method to convey ideas, but handwritten acts force the writer to encode the information while continuing additional thoughts. Expressing concerns through journaling, for instance, improves stress levels; therefore, start engaging in creative activities by doodling, journaling, mapping out daily schedules and forming to-do lists. The best suggestion is to go shopping for stationery and begin mailing handwritten letters to family members and old friends! The recipient will love it and, with hope, write back!

PICK UP A PEN!

The health of your body comprising nutritious foods, sleep and daily exercise can enhance enthusiasm or hinder the performance of everyday tasks. In looking at holistic well-being, especially mental health, the brain needs energy and nourishment to function. What better activity than yoga? Breathing, meditation and simple poses can stimulate focus, energy and relieve the day’s stresses. You, too, can practice super yoga poses such as the diamond or spinal twist pose and bee breathing. While the living room is an adequate location, consider joining a class to meet new people.

YOGA

logically in your mind. In addition to addition and subtraction and telling time, try solving simple equations and ordering mathematical operations.

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Easy DIY Halloween Costumes for Adults

BY TABI FALCONE

Not many things are more embarrassing than showing up to a costume party in the same store-bought costume as one of your friends. By DIY’ing your own costumes, not only will you ensure that you’ll be the only one at the party in that outfit, but you will save money and have fun in the process. Here are some easy DIY Costume ideas

MORTON SALT GIRL

This is one of the easiest costumes that can be easily made with stuff you already have in the house – and involves zero creative ability. Simply wear light-colored tights and a yellow dress, and pair with a container of salt (Morton, if you have it, to be authentic) and an umbrella.

If you don’t happen to have a yellow dress in your closet, you can borrow one from a friend or pick one up at a thrift shop to keep your budget low.

TOOTH FAIRY

While this costume is a little more time-intensive, it is also a source of great enjoyment for those who thrive on creating. Create a white tutu by tying 1” wide and your preferred length strips of tulle to an elastic waistband you’ve fit to your waist size. If you are able to get glittery tulle, do it because, let’s be honest, everything is better with a touch of glitter; but remember – that stuff gets absolutely everywhere. For the top of your costume, attach a tooth graphic to a white shirt – either by embroidery, cut vinyl or simple felt. To top off the fairy look don’t forget your wings, which can be easily picked up at a discount shop.

MOMBIE

The perfect costume for exhausted moms, this can be done many different ways. The easiest would be to just show up in your pajamas, unwashed hair, holding a crying kid and choosing not to cover up the bags under your eyes. If your kids are old enough that you’re sleeping through the night again, eyeshadow and contour kits can help you achieve a tired look by accentuating your under eyes and cheekbones.

If you won’t be with your children, grab one of their dolls or stuffed animals and attach it with a baby wrap, and don’t forget your yoga pants and mom bun – for good measure throw some Cheetos or crayons into your bun.

FARMER/SCARECROW

The easiest of all the costumes, a farmer costume can be easily made by pairing jeans or overalls with a flannel top and a straw hat.

If you want to upgrade the farmer costume to a scarecrow, add bits of straw coming out of the clothes, and possibly a stuffed crow on your shoulder.

Don’t forget to add your favorite pair of cowboy boots to complete the ensemble.

ROSIE THE RIVETER

As one of the most common symbols of strength for women, Rosie the Riveter is a great costume when you want to be festive while simultaneously showing how strong women are. If you don’t have a full denim jumpsuit (no judgment here if you do), then wear a denim or chambray button-down top with jeans. Doing your best 1950s inspired hairdo, tie a red bandana, and apply bright red lipstick. You are now ready to walk around flexing your left arm all night, reminding your friends how awesome you are.

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Express Oil

Mar g n i d n a r ne B i l e m i T a i icing r d e P M g l n a i t i e c o k Mar ng S i l g l n e i S d n a r y t B i ivity e iv t t n c c i u u l e d d o o m r r i P T P edia ricing ricing M P P l al a i g g i c n n c o i i o t t S e e S k k r r g g a a n n i i M M l l Sel Sel ing d ding y n t y t i a i v r v i t i B t c c e u u ine n d l i d o e l o r e r m P i m P i T T g g n n a i i c i a edi Pri Med M l g g Pric n l a i i a t c i e o c k o S r S a g M n ari ng l i M g l l n e l i e S g d S n n i a y d r t n y i t B a v i line ducti ne Br e o i ductiv r l m e i P T m i g T a n i i c d i a e r i icing r d M P e P l M g a n g i l i c n t o a i e t i S e c k r o k Mar ling ng S i g Ma n l g i l n e i d n S d n a r a r y B t B i e n ivity e iv t t i n c c l i u u e l e d d m o o i m r r i T P T P a edi cing to Take SYour edia ricing riReady M P P l al a i g g i c n n c o i i o t t S e e k k r r g g a a n n i i M M l l Sel Sel to the NextneLevel? ing Creative Business d y n t y t i a i v r randing v i t i B t c c u u ine d l i d o e l o r e r m P i m P i T T g g n n a i i c i a c editogether!arketing Pri Med M do it l l a i a c i o c o S keting Pri SellinLet’s S g M n g One Crafty Miss ty Selli ar M g n i g d n n i a d r n y i t B a v i ducti ne Br o i r l e P m Productiv l Media Timeline i g T n i c i a r i icing r d P e P M g a n g i l i c n t o a i e t i S e c k r o k Mar ng S i g Ma n l g Selling i l n e i d n S d n a r a r y B t B i e n ivity e iv t t i n c c l i u u e l e d d m o o i m r r i T P T P a edia ricing ricing Medi M P P l al a i g g i c n n c o i i o t t S e e S k k r r g g a a n n i i M M l l el www.onecraftymiss.com/coaching Sel SCall ng Up Now for Your FreeucConnection ing d y n t y t i a i v r v i t i B BrandiSign t c e u n d i d o l o r e r Jerez | Taryn@onecraftymiss.com mel P i m P i T T g g n n a i i c i a c i i d i r r e d Taryn e P M ial M al www.onecraftymiss.com ting c i e o c k o S keting P OneSeCrafty r S a g M n g i n Miss, LLC l i Ma g l l n e l i S g d n n i a y d r t n y i t B a v i r i v t e i c B n t c i u e el elin Prod Tim@One m Produ @onecraftymissblog i g T a n i i c d i a e r i ici r d M P Crafty Miss @0necraftymiss e P l M g a n g i l i c n t o a i e t i S e c k r o k Mar ng S i g Ma n l g Selling i l n e i d n S d n a r a r y B t B i October 2019 | 97 e n e iv t i n c l i u e l e d m o i m r i T T P a ng ia di I help Makers and Creatives have the confidence to go after what they want in their business and make more money doing what they love.

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What Did You Say? A B REAKDOWN OF E FFECTIVE C OMMUNICATION T ECHNIQUES

BY VONDA HENDERSON

How well do you listen?

When you think about communication, what’s the first thing that pops into your head?

It’s likely talking, right? After all, communicating is, for the most part, talking. However, listening is critically important to the communication process, more important than most give it credit.

Think about it? What generally happens in a typical conversation?

Most likely, you’re halfway listening while thinking about what you’ll say next – a ‘take your turn’ scenario.

So, when the other person pauses to take a breath, you jump right in or worse, you interrupt, stepping on their last comment just to get your turn. In other words, no one is listening fully.

How can you carry on a conversation without listening to what the other person is saying? Perhaps the topic of discussion shifts to something else, but you didn’t notice and are left with a bemused expression on your face.

Now, you have to ask the other person to repeat what they said or just admit you weren’t listening. In a personal conversation that can be embarrassing; in business, it can be disastrous.

How can you train yourself to really listen? There are several tools at hand to help you stay on subject and

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contribute to a conversation in any environment.

Try active listening.

This is simply focusing on listening to what’s being said. It takes practice and patience. Just hearing what’s said is not active listening since you’re in that ‘What am I going to say?’ mode.

Active listening is concentrating on what’s said, understanding what’s said, responding, and remembering what was said.

You may also need to employ the ‘check for understanding technique’; some refer to this as reflective listening. When something is stated, the listener restates back to the speaker what was said.

For instance, your child came home upset at her best friend. She tells you that she’s upset. You respond with a check-back statement similar to, ‘I understand you’re upset with your friend. What happened? Tell me more.’ Using this back and forth, the dialogue expands to more detail about what happened.

This tool also works well in a business setting. When discussing a project, restating steps or goals ensures that each person has a clear picture of the anticipated outcome or goal.

How about those conversations that seem to stall? Avoid questions that can be answered with yes or no, or just a minimal response. ‘How was

your day? Fine.’ That’s not much of a conversation.

Instead, ask open-ended questions, such as ‘What happened at school today?’ or, ‘What happened at work?’ Keep asking for more information; eventually, you probably won’t have to ask anything, you’ll just get to listen to how the day went. Listening for understanding can open up the dialogue at the family dinner table and turn that time into a sharing experience.

Then, there are those times that all we need to do is listen.

Perhaps a friend has lost someone close, had a heartbreak, or a rotten day. They need to vent; all you need to do is listen.

They’re not looking for solutions or for you to fix anything; they just need a friend to listen.

Those are special, special friends.

In these electronic, head down pounding away a text message days, we all need to hang on to communication skills that involve just talking and listening – face to face. So much expression is missed by relying on machines to help us communicate. Instead, how about having a cup of coffee with a friend, putting away the phones, and listening?

Enjoy the conversation!

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Establishing a Garden: Starting Early

BY LISA S.T. DOSS

Standing. Thinking. Assessing. A gardener’s beginnings require methodical plans. Whether you have an existing garden or starting anew, preparation is the key toward success, especially with the diverse options available to you. With a number of suggestions, you’ll have a plan and be ready to “dig in!”

IDENTIFYING THE BEST LOCATION

The prerequisite for choosing a location may be the proximity to the house; however, consider a few additional factors: • Does the site receive at least six to eight hours of sunlight each day? With the intensity of southern exposure to the garden’s future location, your crops will flourish. If exposed to five hours of daylight, the fruit may not reach its full potential.

• What is your plan for watering? Do you plan to use hoses, or is it possible to establish a more natural option such as collecting rainwater in barrels?

• What is the soil type? Sandy soil will feel gritty.

Despite its ability for drainage, you’ll need to amend the soil by adding compost. Clay soil can hold nutrients and moisture but requires a large amount of organic matter to promote drainage.

• Is it difficult for you to dig into the ground due to obstructions such as large rocks or thick roots?

INCREASING THE ORGANIC MATTER OF SOIL

The ideal depth for plants to grow is roughly six inches. While the garden may not achieve excellent health in its first year, consider the following suggestions to establish an improved texture and health.

Do’s:

• Compost is an essential additive to your garden; although a truckload is expensive. With a base of compost; however, you can supplement with other additives.

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• Dried manure combined with compost and your base level of soil will offer a good start.

• Before the winter months, consider adding one of the best sources of organic matter – leaves. (It is best to mow over them first. Whole leaves prohibit water from penetrating.) While adding trace minerals such as calcium and magnesium, leaves also provide a welcomed food source for earthworms and other microbes. Leaf mold retains up to five times its weight in water, making it an essential additive to any garden. (Leaves placed over winter plants will serve as an insulator, protecting against winter winds and cold.)

• Organic mulches can include formerly living materials such as paper, shredded bark, grass clippings and straw. Weedfree hay or straw will keep down weeds while adding organic matter to your soil.

After tilling in the early spring, the soil will comprise a thickened texture perfect for establishing mounds.

• When wood ash is cold, add to your garden, as it is a natural lime additive.

• If you do not have a compost, you can toss banana peels and coffee grounds into your garden. Digging a trench and covering the compost with soil is an option; however, the area will need time and direct sunlight as well as occasional water to fully decompose.

Don’ts:

• Be careful what classifies as topsoil.

You may bring diseases, harmful insects and chemical residues into your garden which will result in an uphill battle of few harvesting successes.

• Mulch is a quality amendment; however, it may take up to two years to decompose.

If you can tell its mulch, the area is not yet ready to till. Without a soil test to determine your current pH level and nutrients, it is best not to add fertilizers. By continuing to amend your soil in the early spring and late fall, expect to find darker and enriched soils with specks of minerals.

CONSIDERING A COVER CROP?

The dream of planting never really diminishes for an avid gardener.

Thoughts continue to arise in how to prevent winter weeds. One solution is planting a cover crop. Mustard, radish and buckwheat improve the soil structure while removing excess nitrogen. Alfalfa, clovers and especially legumes work to convert the soil’s bacteria into nitrogen. The cover crop acts similar to mulch by preventing sun exposure to weed seeds. Just imagine entering the garden in spring and discovering the soil is loose and light, and perfect for planting!

COMPOSTING

Composting is a daily effort. It requires a pail to collect kitchen scraps that are not limited to carrot and potato peels, coffee grounds and crushed eggshells, and dumping into an outdoor bin. To balance the proportions, the compost concoction requires brown matter comprising grass clippings, weeds and leaves.

With the sun and water to add moisture, the outcome creates a mineral-enriched soil perfect for the next growing season. This year, don’t blow leaves to the curb. Nature only provides the gift annually, use it well!

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“What Should I Do With My Life?”

BY BRITTANY M. ORIE LEAK

Remember when we were in kindergarten and our joyously curious teacher went around and asked each student, “So, what do you want to be when you grow up?” It seemed like most kids had a vivid idea of what they wanted to be in life.

There are children who discover their talents early, but there are others who have latent talents they find after experiencing more in life.

The lingering question that hovers over us growing up, “What career do we want when we grow up?” makes some of us believe that we must choose only one profession to pursue. It’s almost as though we should narrow our focus down to one talent when, in reality, there are some of us who have many talents and interests.

Because we live in a culture that worships the idea of having a pipe-dream career, it makes us neglect our other talents that can be useful and profitable. Life gives us many ways to explore avenues and discover our other hidden talents along the way. In the age of “side hustles,” being a multifaceted person is a great advantage. But before I go into that, here’s a brief history of my intricate career search…

MY STORY

As a small child, my head was high in the clouds. I was not quite in touch with the physical world just yet, but ironically, I lived in the moment. Living in the moment meant that I did not think about my personal future as much as others.

So, when I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would either give a very general answer (“A teacher!”), or I would perkily say, “Don’t know yet.” It just wasn’t something I pondered much. It was like I was walking down a poorly lit path that became illuminated with every step I took; I may not have known what I was going to do 20 years down the line, but I always knew what I wanted to do the next day. But every day I lived, my future became more vivid and crystallized.

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Metaphorically, I swam through my sometimes overly active imagination with school and family being my grounding mechanisms. This made it difficult for me to think about my future in a practical sense (and not many things prompted me either). This went on until high school, which is the final frontier before college—a place where you “must” know your niche. It was ninth grade “life skills” class that began my futureoriented thought process.

For me, that particular course was like “Soul Searching 101.” I recall doing creative assignments that required emotional, intellectual, and physical self-expression, as well as assignments that helped us pinpoint our personality type and our desired career. This was a huge grounding mechanism for me because I needed to find myself before discovering my passions.

All throughout high school, I searched for potential careers that I could pursue, things I was comfortable with. I skated through journalism and being an interviewer, through wanting to model, and through dancing (which is still a passion to this day!). But my family would pin me down from time to time and tell me I need to pursue something more practical with my life. Long story short, I chose a secretarial direction and even went to community college for it…until I was spiritually led to write and changed my major. I knew writing was for me because my past options never connected with me long term, and it was something I knew and did especially well.

THE RENAISSANCE WOMAN

Everyone’s heard of the Renaissance man, the multitalented person who is so well-versed and appears to prosper in all they do? There is a story behind that, and it could possibly be they’ve explored many fields of interest until they found their niche. But after they found that niche, they still engage in their other talents. Sometimes being indecisive about our careers leads us to explore different avenues and birth new talents along the way. It allows us to have side hustles, to have a “Plan B” if our initial plan doesn’t flourish, and to be practical in many fields.

Life isn’t about narrowing it down to one career; it’s about discovering your possibilities! And becoming your own Renaissance woman!

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October 2019 | 105

Hosting the Perfect Business Lunch

BY ADELE CASANOVA

Hosting a business associate over lunch can be a successful way to cement a working relationship, if planned and executed with care.

From the invite to the paying of the bill, here are the steps to success.

Invitation – Be clear that you intend to host the lunch, thus signaling you will pick up the tab. Show respect for your guest’s time by suggesting choices of restaurants, dates, and times you know will be convenient for her, letting her make the final choices.

Preparation – Make reservations, if appropriate. Prepare an

agenda so that time is efficiently spent. Remember, it is a business meeting, not a social event. Arrive early. Arrange with the staff to deliver the bill to you, or better yet supply your server with your credit card information prior to the meal and request that the bill not be delivered to the table.

Conversation – Relax your guest with comfortable small talk

during ordering and avoid business topics until after the beverages are served. Stay away from highly personal topics, politics, or gossip.

Listen more than you talk, making your guest feel valued.

Ordering – Invite your guest to order first encouraging her to choose whatever she likes. Make suggestions if you are familiar with the menu. Follow your guest’s lead by ordering similarly prepared and priced dishes. Do not order alcohol, even if your guest does. It is best to stay away from messy dishes or choices that may take extra time to prepare.

Etiquette – Displaying good manners over a meal says a lot

about your attention to detail as well as respect for yourself and others. Here are some basic etiquette tips to practice: • Napkin – Place your napkin in your lap when seated. Fold it in half using the top half to gently wipe your fingers and lips, and the bottom half to protect your clothing from soiling.

• Pace – Refrain from eating until everyone at the table has been served. Pace your eating based on the pace of others at the table, within time constraints.

• Utensils – Do not gesture with your utensils. Place them in the plate, side by side, facing 11 and 2 o’clock to signal the waiter you are finished eating.

• Beverages – Gently wipe your lips prior to taking a drink from your class. Look into your glass when drinking and not over the rim at your guest. If using a straw, pick up your glass when drinking; do not sip through the straw with the glass on the table.

• Condiments – Ask for condiments such as salt or pepper to be passed to you. Never reach in front of others to retrieve them.

• Bread – Rolls should be eaten by tearing off one small bite at a time and buttering that particular piece as it is eaten. Don’t split a roll in half and make a butter sandwich, or pick up the roll and bite off a chunk.

• Food Quality – If there is a problem with your food, work around it, and avoid complaining or returning it to the kitchen. You can address the issue with the restaurant after the meal. During a limited time over a lunch, try not to let food quality interrupt focus and atmosphere.

• Personal Needs – Any personal needs that arise during the meal, should be attended to in the restroom. This includes taking any medication or nose blowing, etc.

Excuse yourself and return promptly.

• Cell Phone – Do not take calls during the meal. Do not text, surf the net, or otherwise look at your phone. If you think you may get an important call during lunch, pre-empt it by proactively making other arrangements with the caller.

With these basic etiquette tips and courtesy guidelines, you can conduct a successful meeting over lunch.

Planning well, and being in control of the meeting will put both you and your guest at ease, allowing you to focus on the business at hand. A follow-up note to your guest is also a way to indicate to her how much you appreciated her time and attention.

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Davie Craft Association 50th Anniversary!

Craft Village Christina’s Dessertery

November 14, 15 & 16

Davie Craft Corner

$1 Admission

benefits local charities

Cakes ,

50+ LOCAL ARTISANS BAKE SHOP

from simply elegant to luxuriously extravagant!

VILLAGE CAFE WILL BE OPEN DURING SHOW HOURS.

336.712.0300 ChristinasDessertery.com

B.C. Brock Gymnasium 622 North Main Street (HWY 158) Mocksville NC October 2019 | 107

Dress for Success Winston-Salem & Macy’s Present: Black Dresses & Red Bow Ties

BY ADELE CASANOVA

Put on your party clothes and come out for a fun night of dining, music, silent auction and a fashion show!

Dress for Success Winston-Salem is happy to announce a partnership with Macy’s to raise awareness of the nonprofit’s work in the community to help women become financially independent through meaningful employment.

This is the first annual dinner and fashion show to benefit Dress for Success and you will surely not want to miss it!

This special event will be held in Clemmons at the Village Inn Event Center on the evening of Thursday, November 7, 2019, from 6:00 to 9:00 p.m. A delicious dinner will be provided by the Village Inn, including one beverage of choice. A silent auction will include many fabulous items to be won at great prices. And there will be some pretty cool door prizes, too! The evening will be capped off with a stunning fashion show put on by Macy’s featuring the latest in women’s fashions from everyday wear to holiday glam.

Tickets for the event are $50 in advance (through midnight November 2) and $60 at the door. Advance ticket holders are invited to a special sale of “gently loved” women’s designer clothing on Tuesday, November 5th at Dress for Success in downtown Winston. Designer wear will include designs from Ming Wang, Carlisle, St. John, and Doncaster among others. Wine and cheese will be served and it will be a shopping party! Tickets can be purchased at Dress for Success at 375 Buxton Street, Winston-Salem (off Sixth Street) Monday through Thursday 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. (ask for a tour while you are there!) or online at facebook.com/dfsws.

Dress for Success is grateful to the sponsors of this event: Macy’s, Village Inn Event Center, Forsyth Woman Magazine, Keiger Graphic Communications and Paparazzi Hair Salon. These generous sponsors are donating time, resources and funds to ensure a great event while supporting Dress for Success’s efforts to help woman in need in the community.

Be a part of the fun! Get your tickets early and plan to support the efforts of this wonderful non-profit.

We build a stronger community when we ensure that everyone thrives.

For further information, you can contact Dress for Success at 336-970-0374.

This cool event is in support of Dress for Success’s mission to “empower women to achieve economic independence by providing a network of support, professional attire and the development tools to help women thrive in work and life.” Dress for Success operates solely on local donations, and this event is planned to support the non-profit’s operational expenses. What better way is there to support your community than to have fun at a party, win cool stuff, eat a great dinner and enjoy a fashion show!

DRE S S F O R S U CC E S S ® W I N S TO N - S A LE M Going Places. Going Strong.

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Dress for Success Winston Salem & Macy’s presents the First Annual Black Dresses & Red Bow Ties Dinner & Fashion Show!

Dinner, Music, Silent Auction, Door Prizes and Fashion Show Latest Women’s Fashions from Everyday Wear to Holiday Glitz.

November 7, 2019 , 6:00 - 9:00 p.m.

Village Inn Event Center Purchase tickets on line at www.facebook.com/dfsws Early Bird (through Nov 2) $50, At the Door $60

Dress forEarly Success Bird Ticket Holders are invited to a

“Gently Loved” Designer Clothing Sale Wine and Cheese Party Tuesday Evening Nov 5 at Dress for Success.

375 Buxton Street, Winston-Salem

THANKS TO THE EVENT SPONSORS!

Over Clemmons All proceeds from the event donated to Dress for Success Winston-Salem October 2019 | 109

DR. PEGGY VALENTINE

Dr. Peggy Valentine is Interim Chancellor at Fayetteville State University. Prior to this appointment, she served as Dean and Professor of the School of Health Sciences at Winston-Salem State University. Her clinical experiences include registered nurse and physician assistant. She received a Doctor of Education Degree from Virginia Tech, a Master of Arts Degree and a Bachelor of Science Degree from Howard University. She was honored as “Educator of the Year” by the American Academy of Physician Assistants and elected Fellow in the Association of Schools of Allied Health Professions. Dr. Valentine is the co-founder of the North Carolina Alliance for Health Professions Diversity. She established the Journal of Best Practices in Health Professions Diversity and has served as Editorin-Chief since its inception in 2007. She is the immediate past Chair of Advisory Committee on Interdisciplinary Community-based Linkages of Health Resource Service Administration Health. She is a Paul Harris Fellow of Rotary, WinstonSalem and serves as president. She is also General Chair and President for the Consortium on International Management Policy and Development. In 2017, the Chronicle Newspaper of Winston-Salem honored her as Woman of the Year.

LISA S.T. DOSS

Lisa S.T. Doss, a staff writer since 2012, has a passion for gardening and the outdoors. In addition to maintaining 25 fruit trees, 50 blueberry plants, 25 grape vines, a flock of chickens and the goal of a two-season garden, beekeeping became the next endeavor. Beginning an apiary isn’t for the faint of heart. The sound of your beating heart arrives when driving a small wired box containing more than 3000 buzzing honeybees’ home.

Well before sundown, the colony must enter their new dwelling, the hive. It only took a few honeybees to briefly rest on Lisa’s hand to change her perspective of the four-winged insects. Together, the Doss family attended monthly bee association meetings and registered for “bee school.” Upon completing 16 classroom hours, passing a state written exam, and a Fall and Spring practical, Lisa and her husband, Kevin, received North Carolina’s first level of certification. From one hive in 2018 to five in 2019 (not including successfully capturing a swarm), Lisa and Kevin reaped the rewards of extracting more than eight gallons of wildflower/ blueberry honey in late July. In February of 2019, an opportunity arose for Lisa to participate in the NC State Extension Master Gardening program. After completing 40+ hours in the classroom to transition from intern to volunteer, Lisa joined a network of passionate gardeners, who sought to learn, educate and help the community of Stokes County. With the drive to continue learning and building relationships, the future is bound to include a few more hives, lessons in medicinal herbology and community involvement.

NAILAH MCELVANE

Nailah McElvane is the administrative assistant at the Lewisville-Clemmons Chamber of Commerce and a senior at Winston-Salem State University. When she first got to college, she wanted to be a newscaster; two major changes and four internships later, she found that event-planning and public relations were her true passions. Her current role consists of planning ribbon cuttings and business after hours for members as well as other activities for members to engage in and connect at. She also helps with the chamber’s social media presence, writes the occasional press release and handles chamber-to-member correspondence.

When not at work, she is either finishing up school work before graduation in December or at home relaxing and enjoying motherhood – she had a baby girl last month!

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We offer Breast Cancer Rehab Pilates! a multi-faceted program to help women in their process of recovery.

EMILY DREW MASH & BETH GLOVER Beth Glover and Emily Drew Mash are professional artists in Winston-Salem, who share a passion for children and creativity.

Separately, they have their own creative brands and products. Together, they have started Cultivate™, fine art classes that nourish the creative and curious child and equip the next generation of artists. Beth graduated from Campbell University and Emily Drew graduated from Wake Forest University. This past summer, they held a successful art camp for kids and hosted a gallery show for them at the end of the week. The kids were given the opportunity to turn their artwork into useful products such as journals, notebooks, pencil cases and stationery. Individually, Beth and Emily Drew have both seen recent success as well.

Beth left a 10+ year career in the documentary TV industry to pursue her passion and an art-based career in early 2018. Since that time, she has resettled in Winston-Salem and built a product line called Joyfire and secured several licensing deals with other notable brands, including a wallpaper mural collection with Mitchell Black out of Chicago, which was featured at High Point Market in April.

She has also been a teaching volunteer with Arts for Life.

Emily Drew is a fine artist who has exhibited her original prints and watercolor paintings throughout North Carolina for the past 12 years. In 2018, she started a line of handcrafted leather goods from earrings to wallets to makeup brush rolls, which are sold throughout the region. She also works regularly with Sawtooth and Art + Wellness, a program teaching art to cancer patients; Most recently, Beth and Emily Drew have combined their passions to create CULTIVATE™, fine art classes that nourish the creative and curious child. They are passionate about the fact that creativity is inherent in every human, and that it is so much more than just art on the page. They believe art should be accessible, especially because it has the power to heal and transform. Creative thinking also influences business, sports and relationships.

Beth and Emily Drew are committed to empowering the entire community to grasp their inherent creativity to live a more whole life. This fall, they will be hosting workshops for specific community groups, including a grief group for parents and kids. Both Emily Drew and Beth share a love for creating art, drinking coffee and exercising.

MADISON HILL

Madison Hill earned her degree in design marketing from Appalachian State University. The Forsyth Mags team would like to welcome her as the new Editor’s Assistant and Event Specialist. Her main roles are Forsyth Mags social media management and assisting in planning and promoting special events. In her career, she has a variety of opportunity within different industries, including modeling, which has afforded extensive travel and work with large clientele across the USA. Her goal is to impact young girls and women to encourage one another and strive for what makes them happiest. She believes you should “never let a dream go!” Her personal interests include design, creative outlets, fitness and travel. Madison is also involved in the choir music programs at First on Fifth Baptist Church in downtown Winston-Salem.

Inner Strength Pilates

Upcoming Workshop for Movement Professionals: Pilates for Lyme Disease Nov 16th 9-4 Pilates • Egoscue Method Therapy Esthetic Services • Barre Massage Therapy Lymphatic Enhancement Therapy Check our website for information on workshops and Pilates teacher trainings! www.InnerStrengthPilatesNC.com Amy@InnerStrengthPilatesNC.com 336.813.5320 Inner Strength Pilates is located at the corner of Peacehaven & Country Club Roads, in the Harper Hill Commons Shopping Center, right around the corner from Harris Teeter!

Where does YOUR Inner Strength come from?

Philippians 4:13 October 2019 | 111

Fall is here and while pumpkin spice is everything nice, apple cider is my fall favorite. Make this batch as big or as small as you want.

It is the perfect way to warm up on a crisp evening. You can even add a little caramel flavored vodka for a yummy adult beverage. Enjoy and stay warm, friends!

INGREDIENTS

10-12 medium apples, assorted varieties (cored and cut into wedges) 2 oranges, quartered 4 cinnamon sticks 1 tablespoon whole cloves 16 cups water ½ cup maple syrup

DIRECTIONS

Add apples and oranges to a large stockpot and cover with water leaving 1 to 2 inches from the top of the pot.

Heat ingredients over high heat until it reaches a simmer. Reduce to mediumlow temperature, cover and simmer for 2 hours, or until apples are completely soft.

Using a fine mesh strainer, or a cheese cloth, strain all solids pressing them against the strainer to release liquids. Discard the solids.

Stir in maple syrup to sweeten.

Serve warm from pot or let come to room temperature and transfer to sealed pitcher and refrigerate for up to 5 days.

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Make-at-Home Apple Cider

BY SARA WILES

Brand New Issue Coming Soon!

@fwengaged

October 2019 | 113

BY TARYN JEREZ OF ONECRAFTYMISS.COM

Selling Where It Feels Best This column is meant to serve as a resource for readers who seek inspiration and knowledge for building their own small business brands. Through actionable advice, find the encouragement to help you keep living your life with hustle and heart.

Have you ever thought about why you sell where you do?

It seems like a simple question, but a lot of small business owners feel a bit of confusion or even defensiveness when you ask.

Of course you put thought into where you would sell your products or services; after all, it took a lot of hard work to get your business up and running! Do I think you flipped a coin to make your decision? On the contrary – deciding where to spend your energy selling is one of the most important aspects of having a successful business with longevity in its future.

ASKING THE QUESTIONS THAT MATTER

Whether you have been in business for years or are just launching, there are two questions that deserve to have you diving deeper as a business owner: “Where should I sell?” and “Where shouldn’t I sell?” Both answers can save you so much wasted time and energy while getting more money in your pocket where it belongs. Finding the answers to these questions lies in what feels best for you and your customers. Think about brick-and-mortar locations, e-commerce, wholesale, consignment, trade shows, craft fairs, and other options that fall under the “where” category and see what feels best for you.

KNOW WHERE THEY LIKE TO SHOP

Spend as much time upfront doing customer discovery and market research to know who your customers really are (not who you want them to be). Are you selling a product meant for an older consumer in their retired years and utilizing Etsy and Instagram as your main sales platform? You’re going to miss out on reaching the majority of your target market. Are you selling beautiful hand-dyed beach cover-ups and selling strictly at inperson markets and events in North Carolina? Imagine how your sales could increase if you were online and accessible to markets that experience warmer weather year-round as opposed to only a few seasons?

KNOW WHERE YOU LIKE TO SELL

At the end of the day, selling is all about relationships.

(Alright, it’s about making money, too, but hear me out!)

Through building connection and trust with your intended audience, those strangers quickly become customers and often repeat customers and referrals. We do this through showing up powerfully and authentically as often as we can. The “where” that you choose to sell has to support this. Consider your personality and ask yourself if you are more introverted or extroverted. Do you enjoy interacting with customers in person or behind a screen? Do you enjoy the creative side of merchandising a physical storefront or booth set up, or does that idea frighten you and feel uncomfortable? Know your strengths and play into them to get the best results.

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KNOW YOUR OPTIONS - THE PROS & CONS

The truth is that there is no right or wrong; it’s about what feels right and sets you up for the most success across multiple categories. Here is a quick rundown of some of the pros and cons for both in-person and online selling to help you consider your options.

IN PERSON

ONLINE

PROs • Real-time customer feedback • Customers can touch product • Personality can shine through • Networking opportunity • Visibility and foot traffic • Sense of community

PROs • Unlimited customer reach across the world • Detailed customer and traffic analytics • Five-finger discounts need not apply • Flexible work schedule • Retain customer information easily

CONs • Cost of mortgage/rent/ vendor fees • Property taxes, utilities • Physical marketing collateral • Can be physically demanding • Heavily local revenue stream • Possibility of theft

CONs • Shipping and packaging • Less customer contact • The need for reviews • More isolating and can get lonely • Up-front cost, time, online logistics • Knowledge of technology/photography skills • Weather issues

LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION.

Remember that as a small business owner, you call the shots! Don’t get caught up in trying to be everywhere. Think carefully about where selling will feel best in your business for you and what you sell, and you can’t lose!

Forsyth Magazines

@forsythmags

Fall Done Right Artist Kathy Poole

Farrago

Massage • Hair • Skincare • Makeup • Gifts • Art Gallery 6301 Shallowford Road, Lewisville, NC 27023 | 336.946.9128 | FarragoNC.com October 2019 | 115

KERSEYVALLEY.COM | (336) 431-1700 116 | ForsythWoman.com

1615 KERSEY VALLEY RD., ARCHDALE, NC

October 2019 | 117

PHYSICAL THERAPY

Another Resource for Managing Breast Cancer Complications

BY SARA MIGLIARESE

DECONDITIONING

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, which is an important time for breast cancer survivors. October is also National Physical Therapy month, which is a great time to highlight physical therapy and how it can improve the lives of cancer survivors. After battling the deadly disease of breast cancer and winning, it is paramount for women to know how to optimize their physical health and decrease their risk of having this condition return. Many survivors stick to a strict diet in order to maintain a healthy weight, or may have to take medication for months or years.

Survivors can also be encouraged by data in the last 4-5 years that highlight the benefits of regular exercise in lowering the risk of the return of breast cancer. In a 2015 article by Alappattu and colleagues in Physical Therapy, authors describe data from 418 cancer patients receiving physical therapy (PT). Genitourinary cancer and breast cancer were the most prevalent types of cancer reported in this study, with lymphedema ranking #1 in the common symptoms found in breast cancer patients. Loss of strength and flexibility in the upper extremities were also common findings for women battling breast cancer. For informed women who received PT following breast cancer treatment, they experienced individualized evaluation and treatment that typically addressed common cancer-related impairments, including:

CANCER RELATED FATIGUE (CRF)

This feeling of extreme exhaustion can be improved through individualized aerobic training, strength training, and functional management training both during and after medical cancer treatments, especially radiation.

PAIN

Pain can result from surgical management of the disease, as well as immobilization following treatment. PT can provide many pain relief strategies that can reduce the intensity and frequency of pain after cancer treatment. Specifically, treatment strategies including soft tissue mobilization, therapeutic massage, modalities, therapeutic stretching, and strengthening can be helpful.

PERIPHERAL NEUROPATHY

Oftentimes, cancer survivors experience peripheral neuropathy, which is abnormal nerve function that can be experienced as pain, numbness, and tingling. PT can help to improve nerve function or find ways to compensate for nerve dysfunction.

Rebuilding endurance for activities and cardiovascular function can be difficult during and after cancer treatment. A skilled physical therapist is able to educate and monitor cardiovascular training that improves endurance without increasing fatigue.

MUSCLE SHORTENING & CONTRACTURE

Loss of strength and flexibility, especially in the shoulder, neck, and upper back, can occur after surgery or prolonged immobilization or bed rest. A physical therapist can guide the survivor through safe movements that increase both strength and range of motion while avoiding pain.

It is never too late to find help for any of these complications, even if PT was not part of the initial post-surgical care plan. Even more importantly, a physical therapist can design an exercise program that can help the survivor reach the levels of intensity and types of movements needed to reduce the likelihood of the return of breast cancer, according to the American Cancer Society. So, make October the month that you fight back against this disease with exercise and PT, and tell cancer to take a hike.

LYMPHEDEMA

Swelling in an extremity due to increased lymphatic fluid, called lymphedema, can be defined by a girth measurement of more than 2 cm difference between the affected and nonaffected limb.

Effective lymphedema management is accomplished through manual lymph drainage, range of motion exercises, aerobic exercise, and lymphatic bandaging.

Resources: Alappattu M, et al. Clinical Characteristics of Patients with Cancer Referred for Outpatient Physical Therapy. Phys Ther, April 2015, 95(4):526-538; cancer.org/ cancer/breast-cancer/about; cancer.org/cancer/breast-cancer/living-as-a-breast-cancer-survivor/can-i-lower-my-risk-of-breast-cancer-progressing-or-coming-back.

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201 Media

THANKS FOR BUYING LOCAL!

FOR THE YARD & GARDEN! Ferns • Mixed Container Pots • Herbs Geraniums • Vegetable Plants Annuals • Perennials • Million Bell Baskets Potting Soil • Garden Flags • Bird Feeders Mailbox Covers

Clemmons Country Store

LOCALLY MADE JEWELRY, POTTERY, SOAPS & CANDLES • WE BUY & SELL NORTH CAROLINA PRODUCTS 2690 LEWISVILLE-CLEMMONS RD. | (336) 766-8988 | WWW.CLEMMONSCOUNTRYSTORE.COM

Hauser Rental

October 2019 | 119

Bulbs, Splitting Mums & Planting Perennials

BY LISA S.T. DOSS

Standing over your garden donning a pair of gloves and holding a spade, the job of planting perennials, splitting mums or transplanting overgrown plants is the ideal task for the fall season. While the forecast maintains warm nightly temperatures reaching a low between 40 and 50 degrees, and there is about six weeks from the first frost, go ahead and start digging in!

BULB RULES

The thrill of discovering the first signs of spring’s arrival through bulbs is reason enough to start planting daffodils, hyacinth, peonies, tulips, iris’ and lilies.

Read the packaging thoroughly first. If it states, “plant in the spring,” follow those explicit directions for the best outcome.

Unlike flowers with root systems, spring bulbs bloom before most trees and shrubs leaf out; therefore, daffodils, among other plants, can grow if planted around the base of trees.

• Think of air similarly to the flow of water.

As it descends a slope, it begins to warm and settle in lower regions; therefore, for early blooms, consider planting on a southern slope.

• Aerate the soil by breaking up a wide area and mix in compost.

• The rule of thumb is to plant two times the size of the bulb. Depths, most often, are three to four inches or eight inches.

• Press the bulbs into the loose soil and cover rather than use a bulb planter.

• Watering after planting helps settle the soil while providing moisture to start the rooting process. Remember to soak at a depth to reach the roots. Be careful of over watering to prevent rot.

• Once flowers appear, you’ll need to water the ground and not the leaves or stem.

It is a choice to reclaim spring bulbs and store them in peat moss during the winter.

By living in zone 7, with short winters and opportunities for warmer weather, our bulbs can remain in the soil throughout the year.

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DIVIDING BULBS

When the bloom quality declines, it is a sure sign a plant expanded by spreading.

Not all bulbs require intervention. It just depends on your viable space and whether the plant would rejuvenate from the split.

Look first at the crown or root ball. Some plants only require your hands, an effort of twisting or pulling apart, while other species require a sharp knife or spade. Dispose of all damaged, mushy, infected looking bulbs.

Before replanting in well-composted soil, cut back the current growth and remove brown leaves. Just remember to return the plant to the ground soon after digging it up!

SPLITTING PERENNIALS

Full, girthy plants reveal robust health and age; yet, similar to bulbs, perennials can benefit from the act of cutting. Two is much better than one! Chrysanthemums, for instance, are an ideal specimen. Due to the root systems, consider dividing the mum in half or fourths. You can use a knife or spade.

Replant immediately in loose, well-drained, organic soil. Other plants are Shasta Daisy, Creeping Phlox, Tickseed, Oriental Poppy, Siberian Iris and Hosta.

SHARE DIVISIONS!

If, by chance, you have too many plants and not enough space, consider giving family, good friends or work colleagues your bulbs or divisions. Day Lilies, Iris’ and Peonies are special gifts from nature!

PLANTING PERENNIALS

Gardening centers and nurseries have great selections of potted flowers that are on sale or marked for clearance. It is difficult to pass up a great deal; therefore, create the best viable situation for your new plants.

In addition to improving the soil by adding compost, stake the area on two sides to act as a reminder not to disrupt the location in the spring. The beauty of springtime reveals well-nourished and healthy plants after a season of cold weather and adequate moisture.

Plantings in the fall lead to a beautiful view in the spring. You will only have to wait!

Mountain Valley Hospice

Goin’ Postal 6255 TownCenter Drive, Clemmons (located next to Mossy’s and Utopia)

336-712-0505

PAINTING, LLC

FA Madden Painting

FRANK MADDEN, OWNER Office 336-766-7030 Cell 860-839-4575 famadden.painting@yahoo.com October 2019 | 121

Writers Who Read Our Beloved Fiction Books

BY MEGAN TAYLOR

Most people have a particular genre of novels they prefer to read. Some enjoy mystery, romance, or nonfiction. But, for many, fiction books are a favorite to revel in anytime. This month, let’s take a look at some of our Forsyth Woman writers’ beloved fiction novels.

WHERE THE CRAWDADS SING

THE FIFTH VIAL

LOVE COMES SOFTLY

by Delia Owens

by Michael Palmer

by Janette Oke

“The characters, the descriptive language, and the perfect amount of suspense are all the reasons why this book is very interesting,” writer Tabatha Renegar stated about her fiction pick.

Where the Crawdads Sing tells the story of the “Marsh Girl” that is said to be haunting Barkley Cove, on the North Carolina coast. In 1969, Kya Clark, the rumored Marsh Girl, is suspected of murdering Chase Andrews. However, Kya portrays a different side of what people believe her to be.

She has lived alone in the marsh for years. But Kya soon wants friends and to be loved. Her life takes a turn when two visitors came to town and become intrigued by Kya. According to The New York Times book review, this novel is described as “a painfully beautiful first novel that is at once a murder mystery, a coming-of-age narrative, and a celebration of nature. Owens surveys the desolate marshlands of the North Carolina coast through the eyes of an abandoned child.” Renegar can’t stop praising this book to others. “I don’t know where to begin. I loved this book so much and I truly feel that any fiction reader, man or woman, old or young, can enjoy this story!”

Writer Debbie Barr recommends the fictional tale, The Fifth Vial. In the story, readers learn about the life of a medical student in Boston who hopes a research paper will save her career. They are also introduced to a dying scientist in a jungle Cameroon hospital, who is working on a medicine that could save lives and others millions of dollars. Lastly, as for the detective, he is working on a case to determine the identity of a man with mysterious marks on his body that was killed on a Florida highway.

Throughout the twists and turns of the book, the three become connected by a single vial of blood, the fifth vial, and an illegal organ transplant trade. “This book is best described as a ‘medical suspense novel.’ “As a writer/healthwellness-medical geek, this hit my sweet spot,” commented Barr. “It is a roller coaster of a read. I couldn’t wait to find out what the ‘fifth vial’ was!”

Author Janette Oke portrays a perfect love story from the Old West in her series, Love Comes Softly.

Softly The first novel, titled after the series, tells the story of Marty and Clem. The two are heading out west to build new lives for themselves and their family.

However, shortly after arriving, a tragic accident claims Clem’s life, leaving Marty alone and pregnant. Then her life takes a unique turn when a frontiersman, Clark Davis, asks Marty to marry him on the day of Clem’s funeral. In addition, Marty would take on the role of mother to Davis’ daughter, Missie. Left without a choice, Marty decides to accept the proposal on the condition that if she is unhappy in the coming spring, Davis will pay for her ticket back East. Will Marty enjoy her new life or leave to go back home? Love Comes Softly takes readers on a journey through the characters’ lives and it is one that you don’t want to miss. Since its publishing, the classic Love Comes Softly novels have been turned into a popular Hallmark channel movie series.

Narrowing down our favorite fiction novels to a few can be a daunting task, but the three above are at the top of a few of our writers’ lists

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BY BRITTANY M. ORIE LEAK “Should I tell him?” “Dang, it will hurt her feelings if I betrayed her trust.” “What will everyone think of me?” “Will I lose my job?” “I just can’t keep it in any longer!” So many catastrophic thoughts fill our minds when we contemplate sharing a personal secret publically. We all have secrets that range on a continuum of shallow and simple to deep and dark.

The urge to keep something private is part of human nature. But to what degree can keeping secrets hurt us or others? Should we be trusted to keep secrets? How do we express our secrets with peace and acceptance when the honest moment comes?

WHY DO WE KEEP SECRETS?

Fear of embarrassment, social rejection, the thought of being misunderstood, thinking how people will perceive them afterwards, the thought of losing friendships, family ties, jobs and opportunities…so many reasons lie behind why we keep secrets.

The nature of certain secrets can give us more insight on why we keep them. We don’t want to reveal our financial status because if we make little, we feel that folks will think less of us. But if our banks are hefty, we know some people will use us for their personal gain and “borrow” money without ever paying it back.

We don’t want to reveal that we may have made poor grades in school because we want to be regarded as intelligent. In the same way, if we were “A” students then we wouldn’t want others to perceive us as “nerdy” or “know-it-alls” either.

We don’t want the public to know that we’re struggling in our jobs or our businesses because we want to project to the world that we are successful.

We also hide things such as chronic illnesses, religious affiliation, political views, and mental health issues.

HEALTHY OR HARMFUL?

It’s normal to keep secrets, whether you’re keeping your own secret, or if a friend or relative trusts you with their secret. The deeper the

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secret is the more weight is carried on you as you keep it in. Keeping secrets is hardly ever healthy. It may protect us from being hurt in some cases, but keeping secrets in for too long will end up hurting us. A closed mouth never gets fed. If your secret is something as serious as a mental illness, physical illness, or personal crisis, you are keeping yourself from being delivered from that bondage by keeping that secret to yourself. Keeping yourself closed out in such a way will worsen your situation. The mere thought of letting secrets out is daunting, but once it happens, your burdens will be released, little by little.

KEEP IT IN OR LET IT OUT?

Write it down. Keeping a secret inside can make one feel uneasy to the point of sickness. You can still let out a secret without anyone knowing it just yet. Writing down anything emotionally charged is cathartic and will help us feel less burdened. If you have a secret that you’re just itching to let out, you can begin by writing it down in a journal or a private note pad and keep it with your personal items. Writing anything down is the first step in releasing anything before you share it with anyone. This will get you more comfortable with sharing your secret and seeing it in writing will also help you face the reality of it more.

(Special tip: if you keep a journal, don’t let anyone know you have one so they don’t become curious as to what you may be hiding.)

Who do you trust? If you’d rather share your secret verbally, do it with someone you can speak to in confidence; someone you know can keep something to themselves until you’re ready to share it openly. Whether this confidante is your mother, your best friend, or your spouse, talking about it will alleviate the stress of keeping

it in. You will likely receive advice from this person. You will become more relatable and admirable after being transparent with others. Too often, especially in the social media era, we want to put on the cloak of perfection and hide our faults all because of the fear of condescending looks. The truth is that people are waiting for us to show humanity so they can feel more connected to us.

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Why You Should Join a

Book Club

BY TABI FALCONE

When you think of a book club meeting, I imagine you immediately think of suburban moms with sweaters over their shoulders gossiping about what the PTA president said earlier that week at back to school night. While that may be some people’s realities (no judgment here!), book clubs have become much more mainstream to all walks of life outside of the suburbs. From meeting at a farmhouse in rural Kansas to a bar in New York City, book clubs are popping up in every American demographic. There are many different reasons why joining a book club is a great idea for a modern woman.

The most common reason people join a book club is for the people in the club themselves. A book club is a low commitment social

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engagement that brings together women who have similar interests.

Often started by women who are already engaged in a shared experience, such as attending the same church or having children in the same school, this continues to build your sense of community.

You will also most likely make new friends since most members will, at some point, add new people from outside the original circle into the book club. This engagement will get you out of the house at least once a month, depending on the frequency of your meetings, and will expand your social circle. The way most book clubs are structured includes a social time at the beginning or end of the meeting (or both if you’re lucky!), which will almost always include light snacks and wine. When scheduled with enough foresight, this will be scheduled on a rotation to ensure that the members take turns evenly in hosting and providing snacks.

After we finish school many of us go through a detox process where we avoid anything that reminds us of the massive quantities of studying we put ourselves through for years, and it isn’t always easy to pick the habit back up.

While we don’t necessarily want to get back into the habit of reading biology textbooks, adding back leisurely reading can significantly reduce stress levels, as books act as an escape from reality. Joining a book club forces you to prioritize reading at least one book a month, which can act as a snowball effect to reading more books.

Not only will this help you read more books, it will help you read different books that you wouldn’t necessarily choose otherwise. Most book clubs have a draft once a year where the members suggest books and at this meeting, the year’s schedule is created. Because all of the members are suggesting books, you are almost guaranteed to have books that you haven’t already read, and wouldn’t pick up on your own, added to the schedule.

With this diversity in book selections, you will also experience diversity in opinions on the books you read. Interpretations of books are very often affected by our life experiences, so by discussing with people other than yourself, you will view these books through different lenses.

As different opinions on books and experiences come together, lighthearted debates often occur, which will keep your brain sharp in a time of your life where you may have gotten into a learning slump due to other responsibilities taking priority. So get yourself signed up for a book club, sit back and enjoy the rewards!

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The Benefits of Cayenne Pepper

O

BY BRITTANY M. ORIE LEAK

Calling all spicy food lovers (and those whose bodies can tolerate it)! That hot, red powdery herb we season our food with has more advantages than just spicing up a typical recipe. According to recent research, there are several positive uses of cayenne pepper that may add more quality to our physical health.

o o Sp o , h

NATURAL PAIN RELIEVER

The active ingredient in cayenne pepper is capsaicin which has strong pain-relieving abilities. Capsaicin reduces the amount of “ “substance substance P P,” which is a chemical that sends pain messages to the brain. The more substance P is reduced, the less physical pain is felt. Capsaicin is available in topical creams that help conditions such as joint pain, muscle pain, and lower back pain. This should be taken with caution, as these types of creams cannot be applied on broken skin or open wounds.

FILLED WITH ANTIOXIDANTS

Red peppers contain naturally occurring antioxidants such as vitamins A and E as well as capsaicin.

Antioxidants fight off free radicals (unhealthy molecules that are caused by stress) that can cause cancers and inflammations if not treated. Capsaicin is shown to be capable of inhibiting the growth of cancer cells.

MORE ON VITAMINS A AND E

These red hot agents are substantial sources of vitamins A and E. Vitamin A is critical for maintaining sharp vision, brain function, and healthy skin. Vitamin E is practical for healthy hair, skin, and nails. It’s also vital for healthy organ function and can slow down the aging process inside and out.

COLD AND FLU REMEDY

The main catalyst of cold and flu viruses is the presence and production of mucus. Cayenne pepper is high in beta carotene and antioxidants that promote a strong immune system. Cayenne pepper can aid in breaking up and moving congested mucus in the body. Once the mucus drains from the body, the chances of catching a cold or flu diminishes greatly. The capsaicin—there’s that word again—in red peppers is used to help thin out mucus when someone gets a cold, so it’s very useful in clearing up nasal congestion.

HELPS DIGESTION

Naturally occurring spices such as cayenne pepper may strengthen your stomach and how it functions.

When consumed, cayenne pepper helps our bodies produce saliva (which works as a digestive fluid) to help in digestion. Cayenne pepper may also boost the stomach’s defense against infections.

i

cy

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MAY HELP PSORIASIS

While there is currently no cure for psoriasis, capsaicin creams can help reduce the pain caused by this condition and tone down the appearance of redness and dryness. This antioxidant also helps the condition by reducing the effect of substance P in the body.

SUPPORTS WEIGHT LOSS

!

There are a few ways cayenne pepper may support weight loss: it can help reduce hunger, boosts metabolism, and burn calories. It is believed to help suppress hunger because it reduces the production of the hunger hormone, ghrelin, making you feel fuller longer so you eat less. Consuming cayenne pepper helps burn calories also. When cayenne pepper settles into our bodies, the natural spiciness of the herb causes our bodies to produce more heat. The heat produced by cayenne pepper consumption helps to burn more calories, thus boosting metabolism!

Are you ready to handle the heat? There are countless dishes that work well with cayenne pepper such as seafood, burgers, salads, soups, and more!

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BY VONDA HENDERSON

At perhaps the most emotionally laden time a person has to go through, a question comes up.

What do you want on the tombstone? Granted, it’s not an immediately needed response, but it is one that requires thought – a lot of thought, as that stone will stand for decades and may be what identifies your loved one in years to come. What words or symbols will be chosen to describe what someone meant or what impact they had on others?

Through the years, many symbols have been used on tombstones to depict a variety of meanings – to define someone’s livelihood, stance, military service, love, faith, and so on.

Some are easily discerned, others perhaps not.

The American flag may be incorporated to honor a person’s military service. Current trends are to have a footstone designating military service.

A funeral director usually inquires about military service and will request the honorable discharge paperwork to get approval for the footstone.

An anchor was adopted by early Christians to symbolize hope and steadfastness. Its early designs may have also included a hidden cross. Of course, an anchor also denotes seamanship or may be a tribute to St. Nicholas, the patron saint of seamen.

A broken anchor chain symbolizes death.

Angels are often depicted in a variety of poses.

The overall meaning is as a messenger of God and spirituality. An angel with open wings conveys a soul’s flight to Heaven.

A weeping angel conveys grief or untimely death. An angel with a trumpet is synonymous with judgment day. Two particular renderings symbolize angels by name – a sword in hand depicts Michael and one with a horn represents Gabriel.

A book engraving often represents the Holy Bible. It may also identify someone as a scholar, writer, or `teacher.

Floral carvings were often used in Victorian times. A Calla Lily meant marriage or resurrection. Ivy or vines

130 | ForsythWoman.com

indicated friendship, fidelity, and immortality. A daisy symbolized innocence and was often on tombstones for children. Rosemary was to represent remembrance.

Acorns indicated power or authority and might be carved on stones for the military.

A Celtic cross, also known as an Irish Cross, represented eternity.

A broken column symbolized an early death or death in the prime of life. A wreath carved over a column indicated victory over death.

The use of a dove on a stone also carries a number of symbols. The overall meaning is resurrection, innocence, and peace. An ascending dove represents transport of a soul to Heaven; a descending dove reflects safe passage to Heaven, lying dead depicts a life cut short, and a dove with an olive branch represents a soul in the divine peace of Heaven.

A horseshoe represents either a horseman or a protection from evil.

A sleeping child also dates back to Victorian times and often represents a baby or young child’s death.

Wheels represent the circle of life while an hourglass depicts the brevity of life.

Professional symbols are often used to denote a person’s chosen profession, especially if it’s one of service, like physicians, nurses, etc.

Nowadays, stones may depict favorite activities, personal statements, or any number of personalizations as requested by the deceased. One famous stone is engraved with a recipe that friends always asked for. Another seen recently is a sunset view with empty lawn chairs.

Reading tombstones may not be your cup of tea, but it is a fascinating glimpse of a person who is remembered.

Sources: thoughtco.com, msghn.org

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DO YOUR CLIENTS LIKE YOU?

10 Tips to Help

BY AVA LEWANDOWSKI, REDESIGNS BY AVA

REDESIGNSBYAVA@SALEMGLENCC.NET

You have probably made this comment before, and more than likely to your children, “I love you but I don’t always like what you do.” I don’t know about you, but I want to be both loved and liked. As a small business owner, “The Likeability Factor” is very important as my clients need to ‘like’ me before they will hire me. Tim Sanders, author of The Likeability Factor, defines likeability as the ability to create positive attitudes in other people through the delivery of emotional and physical benefits. He says there are four critical elements of your personality that will help raise your Likeability Factor:

1. Friendliness: your ability

to communicate liking and openness to others.

2. Relevance: your capacity to connect with other’s interest, wants, and needs.

3. Empathy: your ability to recognize, acknowledge, and experience other people’s feelings.

4. Realness: the integrity that stands behind your likeability and guarantees its authenticity.

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Additional elements that I try to incorporate into my life and business as I strive to be likable: 5. Be cooperative 6. Be a good listener 7. Be generous

8. Be helpful 9. Be kind 10. Be positive

Take Tim Sander’s Likeability Factor Self Assessment (timsanders.com/book/ likeability) to see if there’s room for improvement.

George Foreman once said, “If you want people to love you, you gotta make sure you love them back.” I like to think of this as the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” (Matthew 7:12)…works in life as well as business.

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Jamie Childress and Dwayne Warren celebrated their engagement recently, with a beautiful photo shoot by Hunter Leigh Photography! Their love-at-first-sight story was beautifully captured in images and they will be married on June 13, 2020! Congratulations!

Congratulations! New parents Tayler and Matt Hutchens welcomed their first child, Piper Joanne, on August 11th!

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October 2019 | 135

Contact Lens Safety:

A Refresher of What You Should Know

BY MEGAN TAYLOR

The history of contact lenses dates back to 1508 and Leonardo da Vinci’s idea of “wearing a water-filled hemisphere over the eye,” first published in his book, Codex of the eye, Manual D. Since then, designs have evolved and the version of contact lens that is mostly similar to today’s lenses actually originated in 1949. In fact, President Lyndon B. Johnson was the first President to appear in public wearing contact lenses in 1964. Today, over 150 million people worldwide wear these thin lenses over their eyes for therapeutic, corrective, and cosmetic use. While contact lenses serve great purposes, they need special care. October is Contact Lens Safety month and the perfect time to refresh ourselves on the safety and importance of taking regular care of your contact lenses. Improper maintenance can lead to increased risks of eye infections. Most of the following tips are from the CDC and FDA. Clean and disinfect your lenses daily. There are many

types of contact lens solutions available. Use a solution that works for you and follow the appropriate instructions. Most eye doctors suggest using a solution with hydrogen peroxide, which provides extra disinfecting.

However, as a contact lens wearer myself, it is important to read the instructions for hydrogen peroxide solution, as you can’t wear your lenses for several hours while cleaning. For example, you can’t put them in the solution and place them in your eyes an hour later. Also, never reuse solution. Lastly, if you wear hard contact lenses, once you have taken them out, rub the lens carefully with the solution, and rinse well before placing them in the case.

When removing and putting in your contacts, always wash your hands with soap and water

beforehand. Dry completely. This practice erases the germs from your hands and avoids getting them in your eyes.

No matter what solution you are using, replace your storage case at least every three months or

as stated by your eye doctor or solution instructions. For me, every time I open a new bottle of solution, I change my case.

This is due to the fact that I am using the hydrogen peroxide base.

136 | ForsythWoman.com

Don’t expose your contacts to water and

always remove before swimming or showering.

This past summer, I read an article on the Today Show website about a man who developed a parasitic infection and lost sight in his right eye after showering with contact lenses. This is an extreme example, but still shows what can happen and serves as a warning.

Unless told by your doctor, don’t wear your lenses overnight or while sleeping. The

darkness of night causes extra stress on the cornea and reduces the amount of oxygen to your eye, drying them out and making them more susceptible to infection.

If you start experiencing symptoms of irritation or infection, remove your contacts, and

wear your glasses. If needed, call your eye doctor immediately. Symptoms to be on the lookout for include: excess tearing, discomfort, unusual sensitivity to light, itching, burning, blurred vision, pain, swelling, or redness. I often have dry eyelids that cause an urge to rub my eyes. When this happens, I choose glasses instead of contact lenses.

Plus, it never hurts to have a pair of glasses available as a quick backup; just be sure they are also up to date with your prescription.

Speaking of prescriptions, visit your eye doctor yearly to keep up with your

eye health. This way, you won’t be wearing contacts or glasses with old prescriptions.

Contact lenses are normally worn by adults.

Children can use this type of eyewear but should take extra caution. Parents and guardians should play an important role in encouraging safety and health behaviors to maintain contact lenses.

I love my contact lenses and don them almost every day. However, I know, like most people, this wouldn’t be possible without practicing these tips. One easy way to remember to take care of your contact lenses is the CDC’s slogan: healthy habits = healthy eyes.

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Remembering the 2007 Godless Dollar The largest U.S. Mint blunder in history!

BY MARK MATHOSIAN

Do you have any gold-colored George Washington dollar coins? They are actually scarce since the U.S. Mint stopped circulating them. If you come across one, examine it closely. It may be worth 25 times or more than its face value. That’s because thousands were circulated without the familiar motto, “In God We Trust.” The Mint was unjustly accused of intentionally issuing the coins that way, and they became known as “Godless dollars.”

They are now collectible as mint error coins and sell at a premium. Here’s the lowdown on the U.S. Mint’s biggest blunder ever.

The $1 Washington coins were released by the U.S. Mints in Philadelphia and Denver for regular distribution on or after February 15, 2007. Federal Reserve Banks around the country distributed the coins to member banks and credit unions and the coins were

placed into general circulation. Almost immediately, unstamped coins surfaced in Jacksonville and Tallahassee, Florida. The first reporting of the error coins to the media and U.S. Mint appears to have been made by a representative of the Capital City Bank in Tallahassee.

On February 24th the Tallahassee Democrat reported that Washington coins containing errors appeared in rolls of coins at the downtown branch of the bank. The article said that after opening a roll of coins, a bank teller noticed that “not all of them ($1 coins) were made equal. They were the same size, shape, and color, but some were missing the date and mint stamp.” The side, not the face of the coin, was supposed to say, “E Pluribus Unum In God We Trust 2007 P.” However, this information was missing. The article reported that the bank contacted a local coin dealer who said: “the likelihood to get errors on coins the first week distributed is like getting struck by lightning three times.” Bank officials then contacted the U.S. Mint and issued a press release saying they discovered the first misprint of the new presidential dollar coins.

The bank teller who found the coins listed one on eBay. By week’s end many coins were posted on eBay and even before the extent of the problem was known, sellers were offered between $25.00 and $600.00 for the wrongly stamped coins.

By March 2, 2007, the U.S. Mint acknowledged the minting error and issued a press release saying they had struck more than 300 million George Washington Presidential $1 Coins and that an unspecified quantity of the coins inadvertently left the U.S. Mint at Philadelphia without edge-lettering. It was unknown how many coins without inscriptions on the edge had been placed into circulation. They also said “The United States Mint understands the importance of the inscriptions “In God We Trust” and “E Pluribus Unum,” as well as the mint mark and year

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on U.S. coinage. We take this matter seriously. We also consider quality control a high priority. The agency is looking into the matter to determine a possible cause in the manufacturing process.

Production of the Presidential $1 Coin, with its unique edgelettering, is a new, complex, high volume manufacturing system, and the United States Mint is determined to make technical adjustments to perfect the process.”

Investigation revealed human error caused the problem. The Mint was unable to integrate its edge-lettering machinery into its automated process. Mint employees were tasked with loading struck coins into large bins and moving those bins to the edge lettering machine and then on to the sorting process.

Somehow the step was missed, and coins went to sorting without the motto and date stamp. The fix for the problem was better quality control. It was noted that most errors occurred at the Philadelphia Mint, but some also happened at the Denver Mint. It was estimated over 100,000 error coins were released into circulation.

Since there is a great likelihood that some unstamped Washington dollar coins are still circulating, and because the hullaballoo over the minting error has quieted down, chances are good you can find one with an earnest attempt. My suggestion is that you track down unopened rolls of Washington coins issued in early 2007. However, if you simply want to own an error coin, check on eBay, local coin shops, and on-line coin dealers. There are lots of Washington error coins for sale, but they still demand a slight premium over face value.

Blanket Season is Coming Laster’s Antiques & Fine Art

Urbn grl Marcos Blahove $499

Unique Gifts: Original Artwork, Pottery, Books, Maps, Silver, Crystal. Gifts from $25 & up.

mention this ad for 15% off Check out our new website! www.urbngrl.com

336-624-8921 | Katie@urbngrl.com | 908 Burke St, Winston-Salem, NC 27101 @urbngrlwsnc

Chermak & Hanson

For over 40 years, we have specialized in estate settlement.

Don’t sell your items for less than they are worth! Come see us today!

336.765.5919 • WWW.LASTERSFINEART.COM 664 S. STRATFORD RD WINSTON-SALEM

Wayne Collins Elecrtric

Experience • Quality • Customer Service Dr. David S. Chermak • Dr. John C. Hanson Orthodontics for Children & Adults

Never Underestimate the Power of a Smile!

WINSTON-SALEM 336-760-1491 • CLEMMONS 336-766-8244 • KING 336-983-4551

October 2019 | 139

Cuppa Love Teas The ultimate tea experience, enriching tea lovers’ lives and inspiring the senses- one sip at a time and one cuppa at a time.

Teddy Bear Trims

cuppaloveteasws.com • 301 Brookstown Ave. #300, 27101

Carolyn’s Baby Cakes

Carolyn’s Baby Cakes

Finding God’s Grace EveryLife Day. My Grace-Full

336.682.1311 • CarolynsBabyCakes.net

MyGraceFullLife.com

Read My Grace-Full Life each month in Forsyth Family!

2www.2pigsandapup.com Pigs & a Pup Cats, Reptiles, Aquariums 2 PigsDogs, && Special A Pup Needs Animals

Tracy Burke Owner/Pet Sitter 2pigsandapup@gmail.com 336-918-7234

Rodan + Fields, Kelley Carnall

Home Maid Services, Inc.

Home Maid Services Marsha Wise Owner

Marshacwise@aol.com

140 | ForsythWoman.com

336-765-0260/336-416-6163 4825 Country Club Rd. Winston-Salem, NC 27104

Liz Fit

Salem Detailing

Kortney Beam Designs

Dawson Tree Service

Singing Bird Salon

Liv for Sweets Gourmet Cupcakes, Cookies, & Specialty Orders 134 W. Main Street, Pilot Mountain, NC 27041 (336) 444-8400 | livforsweets@gmail.com

Chrystal Yates ChrystalYates.com

345-2572 • 766-1169 • DawsonTreeService.com Susanna Nunn Insurance Agency, Inc.

Kendall Bodford State Farm, Kendall Bodford

Insurance Account Representative

Carolina Characters

Bus 336-993-4600 Fax 336-993-4615 kendall@nunnagency.net

805 N Main St | Kernersville, NC Find us on Facebook Susanna Nunn State Farm Insurance

October 2019 | 141

SECOND WEDNESDAYS

OCTOBER 5 & 19

11:30am-1pm, Footnote on 4th Street in W-S. Join PWWS for the monthly meeting.

Learn more at PWWS.org

12:30-3pm, Unleashed Art Center – AFAS Center for the Arts, 630 North Liberty Street in W-S. Learn, Play, Create!

Bring the kids to the Unleashed Arts Center (2nd floor/ AFAS Center for the Arts) the 1st and 3rd Saturday of every month, and create an awesome new ART project with Team AFAS! All ages/skill levels are welcome and it’s a FREE community ART event! No need to register ahead of time. Parents/guardians must stay with kids at all times while at the arts center. If you have questions, email theafasgroup@gmail.com.

PROFESSIONAL WOMEN OF WINSTON-SALEM MEETING

NOW THROUGH DECEMBER 6 CULTIVATE™ FINE ART CLASSES FOR KIDS

Twin City Bible Church, 1337 Ebert Street in W-S. CULTIVATE™ offers weekly lessons (90 minutes) in two tracks - homeschool and after school sessions – taught by professional artists Emily Drew Mash & Beth Glover. Both encourage your child’s inherent creativity through drawing and watercolor fundamentals. Every child will be encouraged to explore their own curiosity and individuality at any skill level. Cost: $100/month. emilydrewmash.com/cultivate

come for the food, stay for the fun!

FALL MEANS FOOTBALL! NFL SUNDAY TICKET HERE! Watch all Games on our 60” TV’s

NOW THROUGH DECEMBER 7 EXHIBIT: LIFE AFTER DEATH: THE DAY OF THE DEAD IN MEXICO

10am-4:30pm (Tuesday-Saturday), Museum of Anthropology, Wake Forest University, 1834 Wake Forest Road in W-S. The MOA’s annual exhibit celebrates the unique Mexican observance of the Day of the Dead. The exhibit’s centerpiece is a traditional ofrenda, an altar with food and beverage offerings, flowers, sugar skulls and photos of deceased family members.

Admission is FREE. moa.wfu.edu

OCTOBER 2

LUNCH AND LEARN: BLOOD SERVICES TRANSPORTATION VOLUNTEERING

Mac & Nelli’s

11:30am-1pm, American Red Cross Blood Donation Center, 650 Coliseum Drive in W-S. Join us to meet other volunteers, enjoy lunch and to learn about the Transportation Volunteer program! RSVP by contacting Kasey Marshall at kasey.marshall@redcross.org or 646.4047 by 9/30. redcross.org/deliver

OCTOBER 4 Don’t Miss our NEWEST addition of Entertainment

UPTOWN DUELING PIANOS!

October 10th & October 24th 8-11pm

FRIDAY GALLERY HOP ARTIVITY MARKET

7-10pm, ARTivity on the Green Art Park – AFAS Center for the Arts, 630 North Liberty Street in W-S. A FREE market for up to 20 AFAS artists to sell their works of art around the ARTivity on the Green Art Park and the AFAS Center for the Arts during Gallery Hop!

OCTOBER 5

LOW COST RABIES/MICROCHIP CLINIC

10am-12:30pm, Holy Cross Catholic Church, 616 South Cherry Street in Kernersville. Hosted

by Humane Solution Spay-Neuter Program. Holy Cross also invites everyone to attend the Annual Blessing of the Animals ceremony at 1pm. Special $10 cash only spay-neuter vouchers available for qualified applicants. Must be a resident of Forsyth County on government assistance.

(Must bring proof of both to qualify for this voucher.) Regular vouchers for those that do not qualify ($35/cat & $50/dog) will also be available.

We are also offering: one & three year rabies vaccines - $8; microchips (including registration) - $25; and nail trims - $8. humanesolution.org

336

529.6230

macandnellisws.com 4926 Country Club Road | Winston-Salem, NC 27104 Monday - Thursday 3pm - 1am | Friday - Sunday - 11am - until

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PARENTS’ NIGHT OUT: CREATURES OF THE NIGHT

5:30-9:30pm, Kaleideum North, 400 West Hanes Mill Road in W-S. Ages 5-11 will go batty for activities about nocturnal animals and a live animal meet-and-greet, plus pizza and exhibit exploration. Kaleideum members: $20 (+tax) for first child; $15 (+tax) for each additional sibling.

Non-members: $25 (+tax) for first child; $20 (+tax) for each additional sibling.

Registration required by October 4th at www.kaleideum.org. 767.6730

SATURDAY ART JAM – AFAS CENTER FOR THE ARTS

OCTOBER 7

GIRLS’ NIGHT OUT!

5pm-until…, HakkaChow Asian Eats, 615 Saint George Square Court in W-S. Grab a friend, neighbor, co-worker, mother, sister, SOMEBODY and have a much need Girls’ Night Out. Enjoy appetizer specials, half price wine and selected cocktails for $6! Also, register for TONS of prizes and giveaways!

October 8

KIDS’ MORNING OUT!

10am-noon; Kaleideum Downtown, 390 S. Liberty Street in WS. $3 admission, members FREE. Come see what’s new at Kaleideum Downtown! Check out our new Sleepy Hollow exhibit that highlights Peppercorn Theatre’s spooky new adaptation of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.

Sock skate in Ice Venture and have open-ended creative time during “Tinker Tuesday” in The Prop Shop! Each adult attendee will receive four tickets for our fabulous Forsyth Family Magazine prize board!

OCTOBER 9

GHOULS NIGHT OUT & NETWORKING SOIREE

5:30-8:30pm, Fiddlin Fish Brewery, 772 Trade Street in W-S. We focus on local philanthropy in our area. We host events where we can connect with those around us. We post reviews of local places we’ve been to eat, drink or experience. Come join us to shop, network and see what we are all about. ghoulsnightoutwsnc.eventbrite.com

OCTOBER 11-12

CLEMMONS METHODIST FALL BAZAAR AND YARD SALE

8am-7pm (11th); 8am-2pm on (12th), Clemmons United Methodist Church, 3700 Clemmons Road in Clemmons.

Shoppers will find two full floors of bargains on gently used items including books and puzzles, boutique/ accessories, bakery and treats shoppe, children’s/men’s/ women’s clothing, toys, baby items, crafts, etc. Cash or checks only. No credit cards. Clemmonsumc.org/bazaar

OCTOBER 11-20

PRONOVIAS BRIDAL TRUNK SHOW

Nitsa’s Apparel, 107 South Stratford Road in W-S. Nitsa’s offers the finest selection of couture bridal gowns, bridesmaid dresses, veils, accessories, social occasion and cocktail dresses, sportswear and cosmetics. As the Carolinas’ Couture Bridal Salon, Nitsa’s provides its signature personal service and exceptional in-house alterations. Fabulous since 1964! www.nitsas.com

OCTOBER 12-13

14TH ANNUAL HARVEST FESTIVAL

10am-6pm, Shelton Vineyards, 286 Cabernet Lane in Dobson. Admission is FREE, and the event will be held rain or shine. We will have something for everyone to enjoy! Stroll through the grounds and visit vendors with hand crafted items. Kids can enjoy face painting and the whole family can take a hayride through the vineyard. sheltonvineyards.com/events/harvest-festival-2

OCTOBER 17 & 19

GREENSBORO SYMPHONY TANGER OUTLETS 2019-2020 MASTERWORKS SEASON

8pm, Dana Auditorium, 5800 West Friendly Avenue in Greensboro. Concerto in A minor for piano and strings. Concerto in D minor for piano and strings.

Transcriptions by Julia Zilberquit. Cost: $15-$75/person. greensborosymphony.org

OCTOBER 18

OCTOBER 21

8am-4pm, WinMock at Kinderton, 168 East Kinderton Way in Bermuda Run. At Leadercast Women Lewisville-Clemmons, an all-female lineup of nine world-renowned experts, as well as influencers from around our state, will share their inspirational stories of courage and how to be daring in leadership. Cost: $99-$125/person. leadercast.lewisville-clemmons.com

11am, Bermuda Run Country Club, 324 Bermuda Run Drive in Bermuda Run. This captain’s choice formatted tournament gives individuals and local businesses a day to mingle and enjoy the great outdoors with proceeds going towards improving living conditions for families in Forsyth County through homeownership opportunities, repairs and educational programs. Cost: $125-$600 based on individual vs. team registration. habitatforsyth.org/event/golf2019/

LEADERCAST WOMEN LEWISVILLE-CLEMMONS

EMBODIMENT: THE BODY IN SPACE

12:30-2:30pm, Salem College, 601 South Church Street in W-S. A panel with four award-winning writers discussing bodies in public and private spaces, bodies as public or private properties, bodies as nuisances, bodies as spectacles and bodies as particles. They will talk about who gets to take up space and how and why and what it means for bodies to demand space.

SENSORY FRIENDLY NIGHT: HALLOWEEN CELEBRATION

5-8pm, Kaleideum Downtown, 390 South Liberty Street in W-S. Children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and sensory processing differences can have a fun and interactive learning experience in a comfortable, accepting environment! Play in the exhibits, enjoy storytime and trick-or-treat for Top 8 Safe candy and novelty toys. Admission: $3 (+tax)/person for Kaleideum members and nonmembers. Learn more at downtown.kaleideum.org/visit/accessibility/.

OCTOBER 18-20

THE LEGEND OF SLEEPY HOLLOW: A WORKSHOP PERFORMANCE

6pm (18th) at Kaleideum Downtown; 11am & 2pm (19th) at Kaleideum Downtown; 2pm (20th) at Kaleideum North. Kaleideum’s Peppercorn Theatre and high school students from Forsyth County collaborated to bring this new script to the stage for the very first time. Recommended for ages 6 & up. Tickets: $5 (+tax) for Kaleideum members and non-members. For more information and to purchase tickets, visit www.peppercorntheatre.org. kaleideum.org

OCTOBER 19

PARKWAY PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH BAZAAR

8am-2pm, Parkway Presbyterian Church, 1000 Yorkshire Road in W-S. Find the perfect gift for the holidays. There will be numerous vendors with various hand-made items. Breakfast and lunch will be available, along with a bake sale and silent auction. The proceeds will fund the Parkway Presbyterian Women’s Scholarship for our college students. ParkwayPres.com

SHREDDING EVENT SPONSORED

BY BERMUDA RUN GARDEN CLUB

9am-12pm, Bermuda Run Town Hall Parking Lot, 120 Kinderton Boulevard in Bermuda Run. Cost: $5/ brown bag or equivalent size box. Cash only.

Rain or shine. Proceeds go to various Davie County community programs supported by Garden Club.

OCTOBER 20

TRUCK & TREAT BOOSTED

1-5pm, Kaleideum North, 400 West Hanes Mill Road in W-S. Kaleideum’s annual fundraiser is BOOsted and better than ever! Trick-or-treat among more than 25 trucks and specialty vehicles and enjoy spooky science shows, Halloween crafts, maker activities, Halloween laser shows in the planetarium, facepainting and a bouncehouse!

Kaleideum’s Peppercorn Theatre will present a special performance of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow at 2pm (included with admission; limited seating on a first-come basis). Costumes encouraged, and bring a bag for your treats.

Cost: $7/person for members and non-members. kaleideum.org. 767.6730

DRIVE ONE FOR HABITAT GOLF TOURNAMENT

OCTOBER 24-26

THE FRIENDS OF THE LEWISVILLE LIBRARY ANNUAL FALL BOOK SALE

6-8pm (24th – members preview sale); 9am-5pm (25th); 10am-3pm (26th), Lewisville Public Library, 6490 Shallowford Road in Lewisville. Books, books and more books, some in audio form...large selection from many venues…for adult, teens and children.

Admission and parking are FREE and library is handicapped accessible! Proceeds go to support the many needs and events of the Lewisville Library! Buy a bag of books for only $5 on Saturday!

OCTOBER 26

ANNUAL CHURCH BAZAAR

8-11am, Morris Chapel United Methodist Church, 2715 Darrow Road in Walkertown. Canned goods including lots of green beans, tomatoes, beets, pickles, preserves and stuffed peppers will be for sale. We will also have frozen casseroles, baked goods, chicken pies, fried pies, crafts and artwork. Ham and tenderloin biscuits will be available for breakfast. For more information, contact the church office at 595.8101.

KÖRNER’S FOLLY FAMILY REVIEW PUPPET SHOW

10:30am, Körner’s Folly, 413 South Main Street in Kernersville. This puppet show is great for children of all ages (and the young at heart!). A fun and interactive way to learn about the Körner family and the history of Körner’s Folly – followed by a make-and-take sock puppet craft. Cost: $2/person. kornersfolly.org

OCTOBER 27

STUDENT RECITAL AND INSTRUMENT PETTING ZOO

2pm, Salem College Elberson Fine Arts Center, 500 East Salem Avenue in W-S. Students of the Salem College Community Music School will perform a recital with a broad selection of pieces. A dessert reception will follow the program along with an opportunity to see various instruments demonstrated and to try instruments with the help of a professional musician. salem.edu/cms

OCTOBER 28-29

DROP-IN SPOOKY GINGERBREAD HOUSE WORKSHOPS

10am-2pm (28th at Kaleideum Downtown); 10am2pm (29th at Kaleideum North). Make & take a mini gingerbread house for $6.50 (+tax) – while supplies last! Build your creation with a mini milk carton, graham crackers, icing and a variety of sweet fall- and Halloween-themed treats. Museum admission not included but required. kaleideum.org

Wine Merchants WINE SHOP HOURS Monday CLOSED Tuesday - Saturday 10:00 AM to 9:00 PM Sunday 10:00 AM to 3 PM

BISTRO HOURS Dinner: Tuesday - Saturday 4:00 PM to 9:30 PM Lunch: Friday 11:30 AM to 3:00 PM Brunch: Saturday & Sunday 10:00 AM to 3:00 PM

OCTOBER 30

VICTORIAN PARLOR SERIES: HALLOWEEN MASQUERADE MYSTERY

5:30-9pm, Körner’s Folly, 413 South Main Street in Kernersville. A well-to-do citizen will host a mysterious Halloween Masquerade Ball at night at Körner’s Folly, and tickets to this event are sure to be a hot commodity! Join us for a Halloween Masquerade Mystery, an interactive game complete with detailed character histories and motivations (assigned in advance – check email for details!) in collaboration with Mystery Men Productions. 21+ only. Cost: $40/ person.

Vin205.com 205 S. Stratford Rd. Suite N Winston-Salem, NC 27103 (336) 765-8175 October 2019 | 143

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Emerson Designs . . . . . . . . . . . . . .133 Express Oil. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .97 FA Madden Painting . . . . . . . . . . .121 Family Services. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .55 Farrago . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .115 Forklift. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .95 Forsyth Plastic Surgery . . . . . . . . . .83 Fraleigh’s Boutique . . . . . . . . . . . . .71 Gifts & Paper on Plaza . . . . . . . . . . .87 Goin’ Postal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .121 Goldman Center . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .13 Grille at the Glen . . . . . . . . . . . . . .101 Habitat ReStore . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .75 Hair By Alkali . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .73 HakkaChow. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .31,144 Halo Salon & Spa . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .27 Hauser Rental . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .119 Hillcrest Vision . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .123 Hip Chics Boutique. . . . . . . . . . . . . .11 Home Maid Services . . . . . . . . . . .140 Homestead Hills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .65 Hotel Indigo . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .85 iHeart Radio . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .145 Inner Strength Pilates . . . . . . . . . .111 Jeffrey Adams on Fourth . . . . . . . .103 JEJ Photos . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .77 June DeLugas Interiors . . . . . . . . . .37 Kersey Valley Spooky Woods. . . . .116 Kim Taylor & Company. . . . . . . . . . .83 Kingery & Kingery . . . . . . . . . . . . . .81 Kortney Beam Designs . . . . . . . . .141 Laster’s Antiques & Fine Art . . . . .139 Leadercast Women. . . . . . . . . . . . . .49 Lewisville Laser & Aesthetics . . . . . .9

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Live 2 Lead . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .129 Liv for Sweets . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .141 Liz Fit . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .140 Lyndhurst . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .7 Mac & Nelli’s . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .142 Mainstream Boutique . . . . . . . . . . .57 Marzano Captial Group . . Back Cover Massage Envy. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5 Medaloni Cellars. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .87 Medi-Weightloss . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .45 Mountain Valley Hospice. . . . . . . .121 My Grace-Full Life . . . . . . . . . . . . .140 Nitsa’s Apparel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .35 Nu . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .105 Office Nerd . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .123 One Crafty Miss. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .97 Panda Parties . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .125 Paparazzi Hair Salon . . . . . . . . . . . .67 Pat’s Body Shop . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .39 Photo Artistry by Melinda. . . . . . . .99 Piedmont Advantage Credit Union. .95 Piedmont Federal Savings Bank. . . .8 Professional Women of Winston Salem . . . . . . . . . . .123 ReDESIGNS by Ava . . . . . . . . . . . . . .63 Restoration Med Spa . . . . . . . . . . . .21 Rodan + Fields, Kelley Carnall . . .140 Rose’ @ Medaloni . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .99 Salem Detailing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .141 Salem Plastic Surgery . . . . . . . . . . .73 Salem Smiles . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .103 Salemtowne Retirement. . . . . . . . .63 Sapona Bar & Grille . . . . . . . . . . . . .89 Second Harvest Food Bank . . . . . . . .4

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Sharon Reid, DDS, PA & Tyler Wynne, DDS . . . . . . . . . .79 Simply Sterling & Co. . . . . . . . . . . . .81 Singing Bird Salon . . . . . . . . . . . . .141 Sir Winston . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .85 Sixth Sense Health & Wellness . . . . .6 Sober Sis . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .69 Starboard Accounting . . . . . . . . . .137 State Farm, Kendall Bodford. . . . .141 Stitches . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .131 Summit Eye Care . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .24 Swanky & Swag Boutique. . . . . . . .23 Teddy Bear Trims . . . . . . . . . . . . . .140 TJ’s Body Shop . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .131 Torque Performance . . . . . . . . . . .127 Trellis Supportive Care. . . . . . . . . . .41 Triad Mac. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .127 True Culler . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .127 Two Maids. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .101 United Way . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .61 Urbn grl . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .139 Village Inn Event Center . . . . . . . . .93 Vista Realty. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .57 Wake Forest Baptist Health Birth Center. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .2 Wayne Collins Elecrtric . . . . . . . . .139 WFBH iMove . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .17 WFBH Outpatient Imaging . . . . 53,99 Windsor Jewelers. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .3 Wine Merchants . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .143 WomanCare . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .91 Your Home Marketplace . . . . . . . . .89

BEST ASIAN 2015 | RUNNER UP FOR BES

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Catering

WINNER

Best Chinese

MONDAY | Draft Beer $3 TUESDAY | Selected Martini Cocktails $5 WEDNESDAY | Selected Cocktails $6 THURSDAY | Half Price Wine by The Glass BEST ASIANSUNDAY 2015 ||SUSHI RUNNER UP FOR BES SPECIAL

HakkaChow

BoGo Half Price Bloody Mary & Mimosa $5

Sushi Happy Hour Mon-Thu 4-6

*selected menu bar top only

EVERYDAY LUNCH SPECIALS $6.95 - $9.95

Poke Bowls & New Sushi Rolls

(336) 893-8178 | hakka-chow.com

WINNER Best Asian

144 | ForsythWoman.com

FINALIST Best Sushi

615 Saint George Sq Ct | Winston-Salem, NC 27103 M-Th 11:30a - 9:30p | F 11:30a - 10p | Sa 12p - 10p | Su 12p - 9p (Right off Hanes Mall Blvd. across from the Wynnsong 12 Movie Theater)

iHeart Radio

October 2019 | 145

Conversations with Your If your relationship BFF is “ordinary” can it

BY REBECCA COOPER

also be satisfying?

We’ve all been in the grocery store and as you search for the baby wipes, you see the rack with the latest women’s magazines. The titles of articles contained within Cosmo or Redbook glare at you with topics like ‘Ten Ways to Get the Passion Back in Your Relationship’ or ‘Can a Happy Relationship Be Found Today?’ and don’t get me started on the even more suggestive titles that cause you to blush as you take a bit too long to linger, debating whether to grab the magazine and duck down the pet food aisle and just see what you may not be doing right, if you know what I mean.

Let’s face it, not many relationships, if any at all, live up to a writer’s take on a hot and spicy love life. But should you judge your relationship against a fantasy? I am so glad you asked!

There’s something to be said for what many might call ‘boring.’ Everyday life with kids in tow probably rates for most as ‘ordinary,’ but there’s nothing wrong with ‘ordinary.’ Not many men do, or can, afford to show up and whisk you away in a limo to a romantic getaway to Belize, but sometimes walking hand in hand through life’s worst of times proves to be much more romantic than a surprise of a lifetime. A man who is by your side when you say good-bye to a parent or the loss of your dog, who just lets you cry, holding you in silence is sexy.

Sometimes you don’t need words; you just need a shoulder that doesn’t mind tears on it. Or you need that touch on your back as you drift off to sleep, with tears welling up in your eyes because you’ve had a bad day, reassuring you that no matter how you thought your day went, there’s one person who is so glad to have made it through another one with you. You may call that ‘ordinary’ or ‘boring,’ but I call it exceptional. And that support is reciprocal and appreciated by both, leading to an understanding that no matter what, you have each other’s

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backs. I’ll take that any day over a surprise trip to Bermuda…although I wouldn’t turn that down either.

As women, we like to know that our efforts to look our best on a night out are appreciated. Hearing ‘Baby, you look beautiful,’ goes a long way, but when you’re sitting on the couch, with your hair in a ponytail, in your oldest sweats from college and you hear, ‘You’re as breathtaking right now as you were the day I saw you walking down your driveway for our first date,’ and you know he’s sincere, well, ladies that’s something special. You may jump up and look in the mirror and wonder if your man may have issues with his new contacts, but you know when it comes from the heart.

I think anyone who has been in a long-term relationship, whether dating, domestic partner, or spouse, knows that we tend to focus on those ‘special’ days…the first date, your wedding day, a special

anniversary, the birth of your child, buying your first house, but life isn’t about all those big moments, but rather lots of ones in between, the day to day. It’s those ‘boring’ ones, where the house seems to be in chaos with kids screaming, the dogs barking, the air conditioning not working, and nothing to make for dinner and you look at your partner and think, ‘There’s no one I’d rather be in this mess with than you.’ It comes down to perspective and what you are grateful for in the end. So, bask in the love you know is there – some days you feel it more than others – but you know without a doubt that you are valued, loved, adored, and appreciated beyond any crazy article that Cosmo could ever convince you differently of…you know in your heart when a love is sincere. Stay with that love and go the distance…you’ll be so glad you did.

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