A Faithful

by JEAN MARIE JOHNSON

The other day, I circled back around to one of my favorite books: the heart of the buddha’s teaching (lower case, yes) by Thich Nhat Hanh. You may know it. It’s back on my Sunday reading cycle as it’s been quite a few years since I’ve read it.

With a view to three dappled dogwood trees, I settled into my reading chair. A ragged newspaper clipping fluttered out, light as a butterfly’s wing. A makeshift bookmark, of course. My curious eyes went to the faded print and I paused:

“The ‘five secrets’...that underlie a healthy relationship or marriage:

• Hear and understand me.

• Even if you disagree, please don’t make me wrong.

• Acknowledge the greatness within me.

• Remember to look for my loving intentions.

• Tell me the truth with compassion.”

Wow. Timeless. But why had I made a point of holding onto this bit of wisdom? Of course, I couldn’t recall. Maybe because it was timeless and applied to all relationships that matter deeply. My mind couldn’t help but go to my Woman Tribe; regardless of how or where we met, some connection deeper than shared experience or circumstance connected us. Without exception, these ways of being and relating were alive and well. Foundational, intentional, sustainable, but not always perfect. I was reminded of budding friendships that were filled with potential and others that withered or soured unexpectedly. Almost always, I sensed one or more of these dynamics in play:

• Not hearing me and denying the validity of my voice.

• Making me wrong and setting up a win-lose.

• Minimizing my greatness, being dismissive.

• Ignoring my intentions; not allowing a space for my mistakes.

• Speaking without compassion, chipping away at the love between us.

Do the “five secrets” make a relationship endure? More specifically, what makes a female friendship ground itself and flourish? Yes, of course that GF of yours puts a crown on your head, tells you that you don’t look fat in those jeans, and otherwise makes you feel special. It’s all good. But when she’s really there for you, she knows how to be present with you, to you, and for you – through everything. And you know how to do the same for her. When we put those five “secrets” into practice, something extraordinarily enduring happens:

• I can be who I am and you can be who you are.

• I don’t try to change you and you don’t try to change me.

• We accept that sometimes, our “stuff” will get in the way.

• We love and cherish one another because of ... and in spite of.... fill in the invisible blanks!

As I drew in the beauty of the dogwoods, it occurred to me that friendship is about a humble and authentic faithfulness, not perfection. Then I brought that consciousness to the Buddha’s teaching to see what I could glean.

Summer is here and the heat has been turned up! Before you grab your electrolyte drink or soda, make sure you check the label. Is it truly hydrating you or making you more thirsty? And are you drinking extra calories that your body doesn’t need?

The average woman needs around 8-11 cups of fluids a day. You may need more or less, depending on you as an individual. Stop and think about what you’ve had to drink today. Will you get to 11 cups and what were your cups filled with? They were probably not all water. Water is the most important fluid to use for hydration, but let’s be realistic, we all want some flavor throughout the day too, right? A can of soda can contain around 8-10 teaspoons of sugar. And an electrolyte bottle can contain 11 teaspoons of sugar. Would you normally take 10-11 teaspoons of sugar and add that to your water? Probably not, although some of you may be adding that much to your cup of coffee!

A teaspoon of sugar is equal to 4.2 grams of sugar on the nutrition label. Check out your refrigerator to see what the nutrition content of your drinks looks like. When we drink our calories, we do not feel “full” and therefore the calories you are getting from sugary drinks can add up quickly, causing you to possibly carry extra weight. So what can you drink that has flavor but not all of the calories? The good news is that there are some low-sugar options in the store and some ideas you can make at home!

ARTIFICIALLY SWEETENED DRINKS:

There are flavored drinks that use artificial sweeteners to give them a sweet flavor. Artificial sweeteners can be listed under several different names which includes sucralose, Splenda, aspartame, Equal, Saccharin, Sweet’N Low, NutraSweet, Truvia and more. Remember, the additive is artificial so even though it’s not extra sugar, it’s still an artificial substance going into your body. Be wise and drink these in moderation, just like with sugary drinks!

Artificially sweetened examples: Propel, Gatorade Zero, diet sodas, Sparkling Ice, Mio and more